UNIVERSIDAD DE LA SABANA

DEPARTMENT OF FOREIGN LANGUAGES AND CULTURES - 2020-1

WRITING WORKSHOP # 2

Below, you will find a full version of an essay. In class, you will also write your first full version: the Draft, based on your refined Outline.
Pay close attention to the structure of the essay and the language it is used.

Activity 1: Identify the 3 elements of each paragraph in the following essay sample. Use colors.

What would you do if the company you have worked for during years asked you to move abroad? Offshoring __________________
consists in relocating factories from costly developed countries to cheap developing economies. It is a trend
which started around the early 1970s with General Electric and other companies, and it has become a common __________________
practice that businesses are adopting these days. Nowadays, offshoring results in economy efficiency, on the one
hand, but also in environmental degradation, on the other hand. __________________

Firstly, there is an increase in economy efficiency as a result of the implementation offshoring by companies. __________________
Since the 70s, big enterprises have made adjustments to their headquarters locations, and this fact has allowed
__________________
them to increase their production capacity more than twice, on average. For example, General Electronics (GI)
decided to focus on India, and in 2010 it invested around 130 million dollars in creating a developing center. __________________
Since then, the company has had a lot of profits and has increased its productivity considerably (Smith, 2017). In
sum, offshoring improves enterprises’ numbers worldwide.

However, substantial damage to the environment is also a consequence of offshoring. Companies have realized __________________
that it has been cheaper to make products abroad because manufacturers in those countries often cut costs by
__________________
simply dumping their toxic chemicals. As a result, rivers such as the Buriganga in Bangladesh have been victims
of unregulated textile industries that work for H&M and other fast-fashion companies. The damage is irreparable. __________________
In brief, river pollution is a terrible effect of the relocation of some companies.

Overall, the relocation of businesses results in economic benefits but also in environmental pollution. Enterprises __________________
have taken advantage of low-cost manufacturing and production that different countries offer. In contrast,
cheaper production and manpower comes with excessive pollution due to the harmful chemicals dumped into __________________
seas and rivers. In conclusion, environmental authorities and governments should regulate fast fashion and other
manufacturing industries. If these organizations do not take strict control measures, the future generations will __________________
probably be condemned to water shortages, illnesses and lack of biodiversity.
References:
Smith, F. (2017, June 15). The Impact of Offshoring - survey results. The Bernett Group. Retrieved from https://bernett.com/blog/

Activity 2: Identify the components of the Thesis Statement in the previous introduction paragraph:
Topic:
Focus:
Effect 1:
Effect 2:

Activity 3: Make al list of the linking words that are used in the previous essay (there are 9): Firstly,_________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Activity 4: Let’s think about the language of the essay. Extract the phrases:
Present continuous:

Present simple: it starts with attractive appearance;

Present perfect: The company you have worked for;

Simple past:

1
 UNIVERSIDAD DE LA SABANA
DEPARTMENT OF FOREIGN LANGUAGES AND CULTURES - 2020-1

Topic and Closing sentences

- Topic: Effects of offshoring
- Outline version (cause/effect 1): increase in profits
- Draft version. Possible topic sentences: → One of the effects of offshoring is the increase in profits.
→ (first/firstly,) offshoring increases profits in a company.
→ the first effect of offshoring is increasing profits in companies.
→ the increase of profits by companies is the first effect of offshoring.
→ First of all, companies increase their profits due to offshoring
→ …and other possibilities!
Activity 5: Your Turn: Based on the Topic Sentence models, write 3 possible topic sentences for the following cause 2:

Topic: Causes of biodiversity loss

Outline version: (cause 2): Contamination of sea waters
Draft version: Possible topic sentences:
→ _________________________________________________________________________________________________
→_________________________________________________________________________________________________
→_________________________________________________________________________________________________

*TIP: A closing sentence (body paragraphs 1 and 2) is similar to a topic sentence; use some synonyms and write it a bit different.

Activity 6 – Basics of citations and references: Citations and references are not mandatory. However, we recommend you support your
ideas with strong arguments. If you need to cite, here is a basic guide:

- An Article on a webpage (APA):

• Paraphrasing in-text. This is what you write in your text. Example:
For instance, in a survey by Smith (June 2017) 59% of the companies (…)
• References. This is what you write at the end of your text, in the references section.
Structure: Last, F. M. (Year, Month Date Published). Article title. Retrieved from URL. Example:
Smith, F. (2017, June 15). The Impact of Offshoring - survey results. The Bernett Group. Retrieved from https://bernett.com/blog/

- An Article / Book (APA):

• Paraphrasing in-text. This is what you write in your paragraph. Example:
As affirmed by Derwing and Munro (2012), the first thing that a native speaker should do is become
aware of the fact that English phonetics is different…
• References. This is what you write at the end of your paper, in the references section.
Structure: Last, F. M. (Year). Title of work. Location: Publisher. Example:
Derwing, T. & Munro, M. J. (2012). Teaching native speakers to listen to foreign-accented speech. Boston: Journal of Multilingual
and Multicultural Development. 23(4), 245-259.

Activity 7 – Study the transition words and phrases in order to apply some to your paragraphs, in class.

To indicate more information: To indicate an example: To summarize:

* Besides, Furthermore, In addition, Indeed,
In fact, Moreover
* Second...Third..., etc.
Furthermore, entrepreneurs have created
10% of the jobs in various countries.
*For example, For instance, In particular,
Particularly, Specifically, To demonstrate, To
illustrate.
Particularly, the amazon rainforest has lost
around 15% of its area, only in Brazil.
*Briefly, In brief, Overall, Summing up, To
put it briefly, To sum up, To summarize.
In brief, globalization has generated a big
demand of situated learning approaches.

To indicate a cause or reason: To indicate a result or an effect: To conclude:

*Because, Because of, Due to, Due to the *Accordingly, Consequently, Hence, So, *Given these facts, All in all, On the whole,
face that, Since, Owing to. Therefore, Thus. In conclusion, To conclude.
Because of the high rate of unemployment, Consequently, the growth rate of music studios On the whole, the two main causes of
there is a growing trend of people migrating… has decreased dramatically. unemployment are...

2
 UNIVERSIDAD DE LA SABANA
DEPARTMENT OF FOREIGN LANGUAGES AND CULTURES - 2020-1

Name __________________________________________ Date ____________________ SIGA ID ____________ Group _______

STEP 4: CAUSE / EFFECT ESSAY – FIRST DRAFT (in class)

Write the INTRODUCTION (70-80 words), BODY PARAGRAPH 1 (80-90 words), BODY PARAGRAPH 2 (80-90 words) and CONCLUDING
PARAGRAPH (70-80 words) of you Cause / Effect Essay. Use your revised Outline and teacher comments.

Title ____________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________

3
 UNIVERSIDAD DE LA SABANA
DEPARTMENT OF FOREIGN LANGUAGES AND CULTURES - 2020-1

________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
References:
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
Comments