2018

See What’s in

This Year!

Get
Dream
Skin in
Your
Rocks
Take Cosmo’s
Sleep!
New
Hottest Positions Sex
for a Spin. They’ll
Hit All Your Toys...
Pleasure Zones For
Him
(You’ll Be
This Shocked by
What They
Easy Can Do!)
Mind
Trick “# @ ! %
YES!”
Attracts SO EFFING GOO
D

PMS+ANXIETY
Why You Feel Cray Before
Leak Week & How to Chill
SAY BONJOUR TO
AN EFFORTLESS GLOW
BECAUSE YOU’RE WORTH IT.™

©2018 L’Oréal USA, Inc.

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Cosmo

M A R I E L A F O N TA : T H I E R R Y L E G AY. D AV I S , H A G G E R T Y, G O L D B A C KG R O U N D, S T I C K Y N O T E : G E T T Y I M A G E S (4). C O S M O ’ S W I L D E S T S E X G A M E S C O V E R P H O T O : P H O T O G R A P H E E . EU/

We’ve got a lot going on.…Don’t miss a thing!

S H U T T E R S T O C K .C O M . W I L D E S T S E X G A M E S B OX PAT T E R N : C H A R N S I T R / S H U T T E R S T O C K .C O M . E R I C R AY D AV I D S O N . S E E PA G E 1 3 1 F O R S H O P P I N G I N F O R M AT I O N .
MAKEUP
ARTIST
VLADA
HAGGERTY

HOW WE DO
IT…IN THE
CITY OF LOVE

DO YOUR
Q&A with Marie La
Fonta, editor of
Cosmo France

BEST,
Forget truth-or-dare. Q_ What does it
Our latest deck of take to impress a
Frenchwoman?

EFF THE
cards, out January 2,
takes your naughty A_ Universal turn-
nights in to steamier ons: being nice,
funny, and smart.

REST
new levels ($10,
Liking cheese is
amazon.com).
always a plus!
Q_ Haute beauty
look right now?
A_ The Jeanne
Damas: flawless
skin with a red lip
and dark lashes.
Sign up at Q_ Rudest date?
TheCosmoBoxes
A_ My friend went
.com for a curated out with a guy who
stash of all things said, “I usually pay
Cosmo (cozy winter for drinks, but since
finds, cool beauty Just Sayin’ Snap and share this this isn’t gonna
merch)—delivered month’s inspo on your social channels work out, we’ll
to your door! with the hashtag #CosmoInspo. split.” A real prick!

C O S M O P O L I TA N J A N U A R Y 2 0 1 8

2
Derek Lam 10 Crosby
sweater, Joanna Laura
Constantine earrings
get into it
January
Cover Stories

55 This Easy Mind Trick

Attracts Love
58 ”#@!% YES!”—
The Weird Reason
Cursing in Bed Feels
So Effing Good
66 Sex That Rocks!
70 New Sex Toys...
for Him
86 PMS + Anxiety:
Why You Feel Cray
Before Leak Week
100 Pink
114 Get Dream Skin
in Your Sleep!
124 Bedside Astrologer
2018

Inside

106
2 way more cosmo
6 editor’s letter
Upgraded basics 10 best (january) ever
that will take your look 14 the quickie
to new levels
17 cosmo guy
18 on my mind
20 too funny!
29 style
41 beauty
55 love & sex
77 wellness
Cover Info 90 work & play
100 features
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Ambassador at TraceyMattingly.com. Makeup: Francesca Tolot for Cloutier Remix. Manicure: Michelle Saunders for Essie. Production:
First Shot Productions. Photographed by Jason Kim. 132 cosmo quiz

C O S M O P O L I TA N J A N U A R Y 2 0 1 8

3
 EDITOR’S LETTER

T
S TA R
M E T HING!
SO

It’s January, and you know

what that means? Yup—you’ve Look for this Start
Something seal in every
gotta plan to get some sh*t done this issue—it marks special
coming year. C’mon—it’s tradition! content we’ve created to
Whether you call them resolutions, goals, inspire you to put your
ambitions into action.
or just good intentions, there are strategies
proven to keep you from flaking on
your fitness routine or that vow to find a
better job. We let you in on those success
secrets in the kickoff piece of our new
platform for 2018—Start Something.
Turn to page 77 to get those pointers,
then keep your eyes peeled for the rest of
the series—it will move around the
magazine from issue to issue because
we want to motivate you to take steps What I’m
forward in every area of life. Into RN
As for me, I’m resolving to snowboard Waking Up
With Gabe
again, which isn’t as easy as it sounds. I’m referring
A number of years ago, a back injury to a mind-blowingly
sidelined me—and although I’m more comprehensive (and
comprehensible)
than healed, fear has kept me hiding out political newsletter
in the lodge, next to a toasty fire. That written by 16-year-
ends this winter. Getting back on the old Gabe Fleisher,
who sends dis-
horse—or in this case, board—is how patches from his
I plan to express one of Cosmo’s core Missouri bedroom
tenets: fearlessness. And that’s the perfect before heading to

( P O R T R A I T ) A L L I E H O L LO WAY. ( B A C KG R O U N D, C O F F E E C U P, C O AT & B E LT S H O T ) : G E T T Y I M A G E S .
school each morning.
way to ring in a brave new year. Join me and his nearly
50K subscribers
by signing up at
WakeUpTo
Politics.com.
Michele Promaulayko
Editor-in-Chief / @MichProm

Nature Calls
I’ve been craving a
run down a powder-
coated slope—the
upcoming winter
Olympics has me
stoked to shred!
Add to Cart
ALL OTHERS: COURTESY BR ANDS.

Belts. For years (I mean, like, a

decade), I refused to wear a belt. Now
Isabel
I’m all about them—through actual Marant, $295,
loops on jeans, or around the waist net-a-porter
of a dress, or to give shape to a
menswear-inspired coat. Plain leather
works with anything, but for more
impact, try something sparkly or
Anon, $240, studded. Go build a belt wardrobe!
burton.com

C O S M O P O L I TA N J A N U A R Y 2 0 1 8

6

Editor-in-Chief
MICHELE
PROMAULAYKO
CREATIVE DIRECTOR Theresa Griggs
EXECUTIVE EDITOR Sascha de Gersdorff
EXECUTIVE MANAGING EDITOR Maria Baugh
CHIEF FASHION DIRECTOR, WOMEN’S GROUP
Aya Kanai
CHIEF BEAUTY DIRECTOR, WOMEN’S GROUP
Leah Wyar Romito
CHIEF PHOTOGRAPHY DIRECTOR,
HEARST MAGAZINES Alix B. Campbell
ENTERTAINMENT DIRECTOR Tracy Shaffer
DIRECTOR OF EDITORIAL AND BUSINESS
DEVELOPMENT Laura Brounstein
SENIOR DEPUTY EDITORS Meredith Bryan,
Katie L. Connor
DEPUTY EDITOR Faye Brennan
FEATURES
DEPUTY MANAGING EDITOR Amy E. Grippo
EDITOR-AT-LARGE John Searles
SENIOR EDITORS Jessica Goodman,
Ashley Oerman (Wellness)
ASSOCIATE EDITOR Rachel Mosely
ASSISTANT EDITORS Danielle Kam, Helen Zook
ENTERTAINMENT ASSISTANT Ki Williams
EDITORIAL BUSINESS COORDINATOR Caryn Kanare
ASSISTANT TO THE EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Sophie Lavine
EDITORIAL BRAND ASSISTANT Taylor Andrews
CONTRIBUTORS Logan Hill; Matthew Hussey;
Emily Morse; Esther Perel; Aurora Tower; Julie Vadnal
HEALTH ADVISORY BOARD Jennifer Ashton, MD;
Whitney Bowe, MD; Ian Kerner, PhD; Albert
Matheny, RD, CSCS; Stephanie Middleberg, RD;
Marisa Weiss, MD; Jennifer Wider, MD
FASHION
FASHION MARKET DIRECTOR Sarah Conly
ACCESSORIES DIRECTOR Kathy Lee
SENIOR MARKET EDITOR Tiffany Reid
BOOKINGS DIRECTOR Steven Brown
STYLE DIRECTOR James Worthington DeMolet
ACCESSORIES EDITOR Nicole Fineo
FASHION EDITOR Aeyung Kim
ASSOCIATE FASHION EDITOR Samantha Roman
ASSISTANT BOOKINGS EDITOR Sean McIntyre
FASHION ASSISTANTS Rachel Bogo, Savee Dalgo,
Tira A. Urquhart, Ann Wang
BEAUTY
DEPUTY BEAUTY DIRECTOR Marta Topran
BEAUTY EDITOR Lauren Balsamo
ASSOCIATE BEAUTY EDITOR Maddie Aberman
ASSISTANT BEAUTY EDITOR Kate Foster
BEAUTY ASSISTANT Erin Stovall
ART
ART DIRECTORS Jose Fernandez,
Christine Demetres Giordano, Betsy Halsey
DEPUTY ART DIRECTOR Sarah Olin
ASSOCIATE ART DIRECTOR Mary Fama
CONTRIBUTING DESIGNER Wendy Robison
DIGITAL-IMAGING SPECIALIST Steve Fusco
PHOTO
EXECUTIVE PHOTO DIRECTOR Fabienne Le Roux
DEPUTY PHOTO EDITOR Kristin Giametta
STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER Allie Holloway
SENIOR PHOTO PRODUCER Naomi Nishi
SENIOR PHOTO RESEARCHER Jenna Andrews
PHOTO ASSISTANT Sarah Eckinger
COPY AND RESEARCH
COPY DIRECTOR Ann Bacon Wright
RESEARCH DIRECTOR Chris Moore
DEPUTY COPY CHIEF Estee Brooke Friedman
SENIOR RESEARCH EDITOR Lauren Dzubow
COPY EDITOR Carlee Schepeler
COSMOPOLITAN.COM
EDITOR Amy Odell
SVP/Publishing Director, Chief Revenue Officer
DONNA KALAJIAN LAGANI
ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER/CHIEF
REVENUE OFFICER Peter Medwid
ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER/ADVERTISING Stacy Nathan
ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER/MARKETING Jo Bray
EXECUTIVE FINANCIAL DIRECTOR Peter Schmidt
INTEGRATED ADVERTISING SALES
EXECUTIVE BEAUTY DIRECTOR Andrea Foster
ACCOUNT DIRECTORS Terry Alvar, Michele Forman,
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DIRECTOR OF MARKETING STRATEGY Vicki Dreyer-Fischer
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BUSINESS ANALYST Kathryn Wawrzonek
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DALLAS REPRESENTATIVE Jamie Majecki, Wisdom Media LLC
EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT TO THE PUBLISHING DIRECTOR
Lynn Goldstein-Garguilo
AD COORDINATORS Seana Leen, Gina Pisacreta
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CBS COORDINATOR Heidi Kaartinen
Mood: INTEGRATED MARKETING
EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, MARKETING Sara Schroeter
ASSOCIATE DIRECTORS Meaghan Marks,
READY...
For anything and
Courtney Turnbull
DIRECTORS Kaitlin Morse Creedon, Ariel Kaye
SENIOR MANAGER Leah Paolino
MANAGER Liznelia Peña-Marmol
everything this year throws
ASSOCIATE MANAGER Samantha Inzalaco
at us. Because if we COORDINATOR Alexis Herder
could survive the intense
ride of 2017, we can totally EVENTS AND SPECIAL PROJECTS
own 2018. Say it with us: DIRECTOR Kim Grant
SENIOR MANAGER Jennifer Snyder
We’ve got this! ASSISTANT Emma Shapiro
ART
CREATIVE DIRECTOR Lulu Zeitouneh
ASSOCIATE DIRECTOR Gloria Tebelman
DESIGNER Kaleel Munroe
PRODUCTION
PRODUCTION/OPERATIONS DIRECTOR Chuck Lodato
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CIRCULATION
VP STRATEGY AND BUSINESS MANAGEMENT Rick Day
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 January

Yara Shahidi plays a

Lusting after
someone’s
career? Woo
them with
Bumble Bizz,
Dior’s Diorskin Forever Bumble’s
Undercover Foundation new network-
comes in 24 shades and lasts
24 hours. So basically, it’s
got you a hundred percent
covered ($52, dior.com).

Drop what you’re

reading. A.J. Finn’s
The Woman in the
Jessica Chastain’s badass
Window has a hint of turn as an IRL poker queenpin in
Rear Window, a bit of Molly’s Game will make you
The Girl on the Train, want to conquer the nearest
and raves from Gone boys’ club (in theaters January 5).
Girl’s Gillian Flynn.

C O S M O P O L I TA N J A N U A R Y 2 0 1 8

10
these Created by COS M O PO L I TA N fo r FO R D

Life Hacks will make you

Unstoppable
Look Your Very Best with
These Resourceful Tricks
Have Foundation, Will Travel
Instead of carrying bulky makeup in your overnight
bag, put a bit of each product into clean contact-lens
cases for lightweight travel.

Life Hacks
FROM

Cosmopolitan
ED I TO R S

“I PUT DRY TEA BAGS IN

MY SHOES TO GET RID
OF A BAD SMELL.”
Taylor Andrews
Editorial Brand Assistant

“I ROLL UP OLD
MAGAZINES TO KEEP
Turn Up the Volume MY THIGH-HIGH BOOTS
Instantly fake thicker STANDING STRAIGHT UP.”
hair by dusting a bit of Nicole Fineo
eye shadow—in the same Accessories Editor
color as your hair—along
your part.
“I REFRIGERATE LEFTOVER
COFFEE DURING THE
WEEK, SO I HAVE ICED
COFFEE READY TO GO
FOR THE WEEKEND.”
Kate Foster
Assistant Beauty Editor
Stay True Blue
Keep your jeans
from fading by
adding a half cup
of white vinegar
to your next load
of laundry.

WANT MORE LIFE HACKS FROM FORD ECOSPORT AND COSMOPOLITAN? FIND THEM AT COSMOPOLITAN.COM/LIFEHACKACADEMY

T H E A L L- N EW 20 1 8 FO RD ECOSPO RT

CHOOSE YOUR OWN PATH

When you choose the exhilarating performance of the 2018 EcoSport,
the trail you blaze is sure to be always unstoppable.

VISIT FORD.COM/SUVS/ECOSPORT/ TO LEARN MORE. In partnership with

 BEST JANUARY EVER

Save some vino

from your Bache-
lor watch party to
sip while reading
the relatable-AF
stories in former
Bachelorette Andi
Dorfman’s Single
State of Mind.

Need some
Cali swagger? You could try to find
Jeans from a sexier falsetto
AO.LA, Alice + than Miguel’s…or
Olivia’s West you could cue up his
coast–inspired latest effort, War &
denim line,

Q UA N T R E L L D. C O L B E R T/ U N I V E R S A L S T U D I O S . FA L L O U T B OY: PA M E L A L I T T K Y. L A DY B I R D : E V E R E T T C O L L E C T I O N .
YA R A S H A H I D I : G E T T Y I M A G E S . T H E C R O W N : N E T FL I X . M I G U EL A L B U M : C O U R T E S Y R C A R E C O R D S . P I T C H P ER FE C T:
have good-
vibe mantras
stitched into
the waistband
($285, alice
andolivia.com).

Ho (left) and entre-

preneur Lisa Bilyeu

to a booming 2018.

With its glam emerald bottle and

sugared-almond notes, Thierry

Pitch Perfect 3 might be the

Bellas’ final act, but you can’t be
too crushed when they crush it
this hard (December 22).

12
 BEST JANUARY EVER
Your angsty
teenage self
is living for a
New resolution: Casually slay Fall Out Boy
on the regular, decked out in comeback.
Hudson’s edgy collab with Indulge her
with the
punk rock-
ers’ electric
seventh stu-
dio album,
Mania.
Two Hollywood
greats headline the
new Spielberg drama
The Post. Love ya,
Tom Hanks, but we
heart Meryl more as
Katharine Graham, the
first female publisher/
HBIC of The Washing-
ton Post (January 12).

Jaden Smith uses

his quirky power So. Much. Holiday. Travel.
for good: A dollar Your skin needs a vacay
from each sale of too! Voilà: Summer Fri-
Jaden’s Impossi- days’ mega-hydrating
ble Trio, a slider Jet Lag Mask ($60,
combo for Umami summerfridays.com).
Cross hurricane
relief ($15, Umami
Burger locations).

Dear universe: Please

let poignant coming-
of-age film Lady Bird
(now playing) be just
the start of Greta Ger-
wig and Saoirse Ronan’s
director/muse ’ship.

C O S M O P O L I TA N J A N U A R Y 2 0 1 8

13
 _Hayes.

nervous was:

C O R I N A M A R I E H O W E L L /C O N T O U R B Y G E T T Y.

C O S M O P O L I TA N J A N U A R Y 2 0 1 8

14
A DV E R T I S E M E N T

THE ULTIMATE

ALL
CONDITIONING GUIDE FOR

HAIR
TYPES
Conditioning products have come a
long way—not only are they no longer
1 2

a one-formula-fits-all afterthought,
but they may be just the thing that
will help you reach your hair goals.
Our editors love the superpowered
formulas from Pantene for being
as individual as the women who
use them. Crafted by scientists
and perfected by stylists, Pantene
continues to deliver healthy,
hydrated, and conditioned hair from
root to tip!

3 4

1. AIR-LIGHT FOAM 3. 3 MINUTE 4. DAILY

CONDITIONER MIRACLE DAILY MOISTURE RENEWAL
The weight is CONDITIONER CONDITIONER
over! This foam Want maximum This breakthrough
conditioner, hydrating impact conditioner builds
developed for fine in miraculously strand strength
hair and its little time? This from the core.
unique challenges, in-shower daily What that means
nourishes without conditioner is your for you: Good hair
any heaviness. new go-to! days ahead!

Source: Media Radar, May 2016–April 2017. Pantene received 26% more edit mentions than the next closest hair brand. Hearst titles analyzed: Cosmopolitan,
Dr. Oz The Good Life, ELLE, Good Housekeeping, Harper’s BAZAAR, Marie Claire, O The Oprah Magazine, Redbook, and Town & Country.
NEW FOAM
CONDITIONER
100% CONDITIONING, 0% WEIGHT.

©2017 P&G
 AIR-LIGHT FOAM CONDITIONER

STRONG IS

LIGHT
AS AIR
Just because it’s weightless
doesn’t mean it’s a lightweight.
Pantene Air-Light Foam
Conditioner packs a major
punch—effortlessly detangling,
nourishing, and protecting fine
to medium hair—without
any of the heft that can weigh HAIR DOS
hair down. • For allover nourishment,
use after shampooing.
• Work a small amount
DRESS: FRAME AND PARTNERS

through damp hair and

rinse (even daily, without
fear of weigh-down!).
• Style hair as desired,
noticing visible movement
and a lightweight feel.

A DV E R T I S E M E N T
©2017 P&G
 HYDRATING BUTTER CRÈME
STRONG IS

THE GOLD
TOP: ZIMMERMANN BY ALBRIGHT FASHION LIBRARY; SKIRT: MUGLER FROM ALBRIGHT FASHION LIBRARY; EARRINGS: JLANI

STANDARD
To all the women out there
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really understand your hair’s
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• Give hair a moisturizing
your hair look its best.
boost with the leave-in
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• Designed to defend
against damage, the creamy,
oil-infused formula melts
into strands, leaving frizz
tamed and hair shiny.
• Provides locks with 72
hours of moisturization
and is perfect for straight
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 MAKES HAIR STRONGER*
IN JUST 3 MINUTES

©2017 P&G *STRENGTH AGAINST DAMAGE VS. NON-CONDITIONING SHAMPOO

 3 MINUTE MIRACLE DAILY CONDITIONER
TOP: ROLAND MOURET; EARRINGS: ZOE CHICCO; RINGS: JLANI

STRONG IS

WORKING
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Imagine total hair rehab in
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intensive daily conditioners
repair even extreme damage,
preventing split ends and
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just three minutes!

HAIR DOS
• Dare to supercharge
your haircare routine
with a powerful in-shower,
daily conditioner.
• Apply to hair, starting
at the tips, and work up
toward the roots.
• Leave for just 3 minutes,
then rinse. Use weekly to
transform dry tresses into
healthy, hydrated hair.
MAKE YOUR HAIR 100% STRONGER *

THE FIRST SHAMPOO WITH ACTIVE PRO-V NUTRIENT BLENDS

THAT PUTS IN WHAT OTHERS JUST STRIP OUT.

*vs. non-conditioning shampoo ©2017 P&G

 DAILY MOISTURE RENEWAL CONDITIONER
JACKET: CUSHNIE ET OCHS BY ALBRIGHT FASHION LIBRARY; TOP: T BY ALEXANDER WANG BY ALBRIGHT FASHION LIBRARY; EARRINGS: JOVANA DJURIC

STRONG IS

A RUSH OF HAIR DOS

HYDRATION
• Trade your old conditioner
for a breakthrough Pantene
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• As you lather, feel the
For healthy, shiny, frizz-free hair, just go Pro. creamy texture wrap every
Pantene Pro-V is the ultimate collection to strand and penetrate deep
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moisturize and strengthen your hair from root
it with strength.
to tip, protecting against future damage. Plus,
• Run fingers through wet
with 12 formulas for different hair types and hair for easy detangling
needs, it’s easy to meet your mane’s match. and notice increased shine.
©2017 P&G
 Nick Jonas
When he’s not stealing
scenes in Jumanji: Welcome
to the Jungle (Dec. 20)
or working on the follow-up
album to Last Year
Was Complicated, he’s
busy being a total
smokeshow.

Family
Matters
“Growing up, I was
the one who my
brothers turned to
about relation-
ships, even though
I was younger.
When it came to Learning
sex, I think I asked Curve
them for advice. “If I could go back
Kevin was the [before losing
romantic in the my virginity], I
family. And I’d would probably tell
go to Joe for work- myself that it’s
ing on my game.” important to have
patience. You’re
Clear Signals not going to be a
professional! You’re
“I’ve been single
not going to be
for two and a half
great the first cou-
years now—and
ple of times. Don’t
not for lack of try-
become frustrated
ing to find a person
with yourself. You’ll
I really connect
get better at sex.”
with. When some-
one makes it clear
that they’re inter- Private
ested and they Thoughts
want to meet up to
“Everyone I’ve
have dinner or a
dated would prob-
drink, I think that’s
ably agree that I’m
really attractive.”
a little in my head.
They couldn’t read
me as easily as they
could other people.
But that’s just who I
am. I don’t like to
reveal all my cards.
And I think that’s
actually given me
some strength. I
don’t let emotion
R O WA N D A LY.

drive everything.”

By Rachel Mosely C O S M O P O L I TA N J A N U A R Y 2 0 1 8

17
Why Good Vibes Are
a Secret Weapon
By Tiffany Haddish
You don’t have to look hard to
find negativity in the world
(in fact, these days, it seems
easier than ever). But as some-
one who’s had more than a few
dark moments in her own life,
one of the things I’ve learned
is how to get through seriously
tough shit…and make it out the
other end, smiling. I grew up in
South Central Los Angeles, with a
mother who was mentally unsta-
ble and often violent. I was in fos-
ter care and homeless at times,
and later, I escaped an abusive
marriage. When I think about a
lot of what I’ve been through, it
still hurts. But I have a philosophy
I apply to everything I do in life:
Most of the time, I’m just trying
to have fun. Humor has helped
me not only to survive but to
thrive. Comedy gives me a place
to talk about my painful stuff, to
share it, and to do it in a way that
helps out other people too.
Finding the funny in a situa-
tion isn’t something I naturally
knew how to do. As a kid, it was
a defense mechanism: “If I can
make my mom laugh, she won’t
punch me,” or “If I make these
gangster girls smile, they’re less
likely to beat me up.” In high
school, the hot chick on campus,
Kiki, was messing around with
this football player. One day, he
talked to me on the bus, and she
was like, “I’m gonna beat your
ass!” So I made a whole joke of
ing, “Kiki said she’s gonna beat
me up, y’all!” and acting totally
laughing. Her boyfriend thought
it was hilarious. Even Kiki was
like, “Oh, this girl is crazy. I’m not
going to fight her.”
Comedy became my way to get
through struggles right as they
were happening. I’m not saying
that’s always easy—in fact, some-
times, it feels impossible. When
I was 27, I got married, and my
husband became abusive. I had to
focus so much on just trying not
to die inside. I would pray, medi-
tate, and write like mad, trying so
hard to find the funny. But there
was nothing funny about it. I
played happy music—music that
made me want to dance or that I
remembered from my childhood.
Being able to find light when
I was hurting so badly helped
me hold on to who I was. And
ultimately, that helped me get
out—alive.
There are times when that
approach can save your sanity.
After the presidential election,
I was surrounded by a bunch of
other comedians. We dealt with
it by cracking jokes: “Well, we’re
going to have some material now,
guys!” I had other friends who
C O S M O P O L I TA N J A N U A R Y 2 0 1 8
18
end of the world. What are we
going to do?” I was like, “Get
the hell up out of here and learn
to build a hut if you’ve got to!
That’s what you’re going to do.”
Tiffany’s
They would crack up and say, new book,
“Tiffany, stop it! You’re making The Last
me laugh, and this is really seri- Black
Unicorn,
ous!” And I would say, “We’ve is available
got to laugh. Because we’re now from
going to cry otherwise.” Gallery
Books.
I always choose to look at life
that way. Sure, you can cry—but
the opposite of tears is laughter.
Whenever I can, I always
choose to laugh. Who wants to
be around a bitter bitch? I don’t
want to be that chick. And
that’s why I think my life has
turned out as good as it has. No
matter how bad things get,
no matter how dark life seems,
there is a reason for it. There
is a lesson to be learned. You can
S M A L L Z & R A S K I N D/C O N T O U R B Y G E T T Y I M A G E S .
hold on to your light, and you
can feel better. I know, because
I’ve been there, done that, and
I’ll keep on doing it in the face
of whatever comes my way.
ũ*DUQLHU //&

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 too
funny!
Confessions

S T R E E T P H O T O G R A P H S : A L L I E H O L LO WAY. C O N F E S S I O N S A N D D AT E S F R O M H E L L M AY H AV E B E E N E D I T E D F O R C O N T E N T, L E N G T H , O R C L A R I T Y.
“My best
friend, who’s
gay, and I
were super
buzzed and
horny one
night. We
both just
wanted to
make out with
someone,
so we ended up
making out
with each
other in front
of all our
friends. They
recorded it.”
—VALERIE F., 23,
ACCOUNT
COORDINATOR,
NOVI, MI

C O S M O P O L I TA N J A N U A R Y 2 0 1 8

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