JANE & DAVE

By Naomi Degollado

PRODUCTION OF

pregnant woman- JANE

Nurse/Doctor
Office friend- GABY
Husband- DAVE
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Medic
Backup people

INTRO
SCENE: LUCY, RICARDO,GABY are all on the
couch watching a show.

MUSIC STARTS. TITLE

STARTS. NARRATOR BEGINS.

NARRATOR VO:
Before this adventure started.
Jane was a worker at a factory and
the owner's son, Dave fell for
Jane. They both love each other
but he didn’t know she was an
immigrant. And that she wanted a
better life and to leave her past.
Dave never really cared if she was
from here or not but he knew that
she was the one. So they got
married and 6 years later this is
where we begin as one.

ACT 1
FADE IN: Into The Office Restroom
NARRATOR
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Begins with a woman on the restroom floor crying in pain.
Her water broke
SFX “SOUND OF WATER FALLING”
(OFFICE FRIEND)
I’m gonna call 911
SFX “PHONE RINGING”
JANE
NO, don’t call 911
I don’t have insurance
WITH A FACE OF DISGRACE
GABY
You don’t have insurance. What
kind of mexican doesn’t have
insurance?
JANE
Why do you think I’m mexican?
Like what do i look like one
SCREAMING IN PAIN
Well you’re damn right

PEOPLE LAUGHING
GABY
Your so funny
WITH SARCASTIC VOICE
Anyways what do you want us to do
about the whole baby coming out of
you
JANE
Just get me some water and help me
get this DAMN baby out of me
SCREAMING IN PAIN
JANE HEAVY BREATHING
FADE IN: GABY CALLS RICARDO TO COME TO THE HOSPITAL
GABY
GABY is calling the ambulance

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The ambulance is coming so just
breath in and out
GABY gives JANE something to lay on
How’s that JANE? Are you
comfortable?
JANE
Yeah, GABY I’m so comfortable even
with the baby coming out of me.
I’m just chilling
WITH A SARCASTIC VOICE
The AMBULANCE arrived.
The Medic comes to the restroom and takes JANE to the
AMBULANCE.
MEDIC
Ma’am, How long has she been like
this?
GABY
A few hours. But is she okay?
MEDIC
Yes ma’am, she is going to be okay
but we need to take her right away
FADE IN: To the HOSPITAL
JANE
What’s going on? What am I doing
here?
NURSE
Ma’am you’re in labor and are
about to give birth.
JANE
NO, I’m not supposed to be here.
I can’t afford to pay for all the
medical bills.
WITH A FACE OF WORRY
DAVE walks in the room.
DAVE

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Oh honey, how are you? How’s the
baby?
WITH A WORRIED FACE
JANE
OH YEAH HONEY! I’M GREAT
I’M NOT EVEN IN PAIN
JANE says this while a face of extreme pain
Get you ass over here and help me
get this baby out
DAVE rushes to her side and hold her hand
FADE OUT: GABY LEAVES THE ROOM
NURSE
It’s time! The baby is coming. We
need to take the patient to the
surgery room

NURSES comes in and gets JANE to give birth.

DOCTOR and NURSES are speaking while LUCY and RICARDO are
in the room.
JANE
It hurts, I can’t go anymore. Tell
my baby I love him DAVE. Promise
me? Promise
DAVE looks take LUCY with a “are you dumb” face
DAVE
JANE, they haven’t started yet
You’re not gonna die okay.
DOCTOR
Okay JANE are you ready to see
your baby. You’re gonna push as
hard as you can okay. Some women
push too hard that they end up
pooping on this table.
JANE
I’M GOING TO POOP MYSELF
OH NO NO NO
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DAVE, I don’t want to poop no
JANE saying this while crying
DAVE
You’ll be fine just breath okay
honey just breath
JANE starts breathing in and out to calm down
DOCTOR
Okay now JANE are you ready to
push
JANE shakes her head and gets ready to push
JANE
Hold my hand DAVE
DAVE holds Jane’s hand and Jane is holding his hand pretty
hard
DAVE
Honey can you not break my hand
please
While crying in pain
I want my hand in one piece not
into pieces
JANE
OH FORGET YOU THEN
While crying
I’M THE ONE BRINGING YOUR CHILD
INTO THIS WORLD
While saying it angered voice
DAVE
Honey, I’m sorry for making you
feel bad. I just want you to be
good and to not break my hand
SAYING THIS WHILE CRYING IN PAIN AND FEAR
JANE
You son a of *BEEP BEEP BEEP*
SPEAKING IT IN SPANISH
Doctors and Nurses and even Dave looked at her with a face
of shockness.
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ACT 2
DOCTOR
UHH... Well just keep pushing just
a little bit more.
Doctor whispers to nurse saying
We need to get this crazy lady out
of here
NURSE
Yes sir, she is crazy and looks
like she doesn’t have money
THE NURSE SMIRKS
Jane noticed that the nurse smirked then laughed a little
bit.
JANE
What are you looking at *BEEP*
SPEAKING IN SPANISH
Nurse moves away in fear of Jane
That’s what i thought..LEAVE
DAVE
Jane, why did you do that? She
didn’t do anything to you.
With a face of confusion.
JANE
OH! So now you want to take her
side huh...you know what just goes
with her since I’m just here
giving birth to your child.
Jane is saying this while crying of anger
DOCTOR
The BABY... The BABY
It’s here!!!
With excitement
Nurses come and get this baby to
get her cleaned and clothed
JANE and DAVE look at each other with confusion
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DOCTOR
What?! She’s a beautiful girl.
Doctor looks at the baby to check if it was a girl.
Yeah, She’s a healthy girl
JANE
Doctor, you told us the baby was a
boy in the first ultrasound?
DOCTOR
OH! (​LAUGH WHILE SAYING OH​)Yeah
about that. (​STILL LAUGHING​)
I was drunk when I went to see you
two and give you the ultrasound.
Oops my bad (​STILL LAUGHING​)
Doctor takes off his gloves and walks away still laughing.
While Jane is being taken back to her room.
JANE
Well that’s a relief
Jane exhalues a breath

Dave looks at Jane with a shocked face

DAVE
What do you mean by “that’s a
relief”
Jane, I thought you wanted to have
a baby boy.
JANE
Well I wanted a boy because you
wanted a baby boy. But I really
wanted a baby girl like i could do
her hair and dress her up
DAVE
What!! You could do our son’s hair
and dress him up.
JANE looks at DAVE and shakes her head.
JANE

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Yes, I could do that but I want to
do girly things with our baby
girl. I can’t do that if we had a
baby boy. You understand Davew
DAVE shakes his head to JANE’S question.
DAVE
You could have done that if we had
a baby boy. Wait... can you? Oh
(WHILE LAUGHING)​ you can’t huh
because then he would... (​DAVE
LOOKS WITH A FACE OF TOTAL
CONFUSION)
DOCTOR walks in the room.
JANE
Honey uh... (​ACT: YOU STOP RIGHT
WHEN THE DOCTOR COMES IN​)
Yes Doctor, Is there a problem?
DOCTOR
No problem.... Well not that i
know of (​THEN HE PULLS OUT A
FLASKS AND TAKES A SIP​)
Now one of the nurses will bring
your baby and I must go since I
have a patient who needs surgery.
JANE
What do you mean, not that you
know of? You're supposed to know.
YOU’RE THE DOCTOR HERE
You’re not supposed to drink when
you are about to go do surgery.
DOCTOR
Listen Lady, just because we were
born in this state doesn’t give
you the right to talk to me like
that.
DAVE
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Hey man, you don’t get to talk to
my wife like that. DO YOU
UNDERSTAND ME!!(​SAYING THIS WITH
ANGER​)So what if she wasn’t born
here, that doesn’t give you the
right to talk to her like that or
anyone in the matter.

DOCTOR leaves the room but not without saying one last
thing.
DOCTOR
Well I’m sorry that you married an
immigrant. You should be ashamed.
DAVE wanted to punch him so bad but he felt JANE’S hand on
his and stopped himself.

NURSE walks in with their baby girl.

GABY also walks in to check on JANE and on the baby.
NURSE
Here you are, your baby girl is
healthy and clean. Isn’t that
right little one ( ​she says that
to the baby​)
JANE
Thank you! She is so beautiful!!
DAVE, this is our little girl(​BOTH
JANE AND DAVE ARE CRYING OF
HAPPINESS​)
DAVE
Yeah, I understand why you wanted
a girl now. But i still wanted the
baby to be a boy(​STILL CRYING​)
JANE looks at him with such anger and smacks DAVE’S head.
I was joking(​WHILE RUBBING HIS
HEAD​)OUCH it still hurt man. Who
knew you could hit like a MAN.
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THAT'S WHEN DAVE KNEW HE MESS-UP.
GABY
You better start praying to Jesus
that JANE doesn’t kill you.
Because you are going to need it
right now.(​SAYING THIS WHILE
HOLDING THE BABY IN HER ARMS​)
JANE looks at DAVE with a rage. Let's hope he will live to
tell the story.
Gaby puts the baby down next to JANE and says goodbye.
JANE
SO WHAT AM I A MAN, WOMAN OR HULK?
Huh, answer me Dave
ANSWER ME!!
DAVE
Oh no, honey you're a beautiful
woman. I don’t know what went
through my head. I’m sorry
Now get some rest, you deserve it.
Jane nods her head and relaxes to get some rest. But Dave
can’t really sleep because of Jane’s snoring.
DAVE
Jeez I thought the baby was going
to be more noisy. I was wrong.
Damn Jane sounds like a water
buffalo.
PEOPLE LAUGHING IN THE BACKGROUND
NEXT MORNING.
DAVE
Thank god the water buffalo shut
up
JANE is starting to wake up.
JANE
Good morning honey, how did you
sleep?
DAVE
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Good honey! Besides the part where
you are snoring like a water
buffalo(​TRIED TO WHISPER​) But how
did you sleep honey?
JANE heard him say what he tried to whisper.
JANE
Oh really, I soundlike a water
buffalo well you…
Baby starts to wake up and JANE and DAVE notice.
BABY MOVING AROUND
Promise that we won’t fight in
front of the baby okay
DAVE
Agreed but you do sound like a
water buffalo
JANE
YOU SON OF---
DAVE stops JANE from saying anything to start a fight.
DAVE
NO, we promised we wouldnt in
front of the baby.
JANE
Okay then but I will write what I
want to tell you and when we are
alone... be ready to be screamed
at.
DAVE looks at the camera with a “I’m screwed face”.
NURSE comes in and hands the bill to DAVE and looks at the
JANE.
What are you looking at stupid?!
END OF ACT 1 AND 2.
CREDITS PLAY.
MUSIC.

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