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 E D I TO R’ S L E T T E R

EDITORIAL
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Email 442letters@haymarket.com – or to contact an
HUDDLE ROUND...
individual, email firstname.surname@haymarket.com
For work experience requests, please email
442workexperience@haymarket.com And so Portugal are champions of Europe.
Editor Hitesh Ratna It’s a win that few saw coming, especially
Managing editor Huw Davies
Art editor Anthony Moore after three draws in the group stage and
Deputy art editor Tom Chase
Features editor James Maw that injury to Cristiano Ronaldo in the final.
Staff writer Andrew Murray
Staff writer Chris Flanagan Yes, 2016 is officially the year of the underdog.
Chief sub editor Gregg Davies
Performance editor Ben Welch
Turn to page eight to relive their triumph and all of the other
Performance writer Alec Fenn
Videographer Andre Hoo
Euro 2016 highs and lows, from Welsh heroics and Iceland’s
Global digital editor Gary Parkinson Haka to England’s horror show (or you could skip that bit).
Deputy digital editor Gregor MacGregor
Digital features editor Joe Brewin As the tournament was reaching its climax,
Social media executive Harriet Drudge
Digital apprentice Ben Clark an altogether different story was unfolding in
Editorial secretary Sarah Weetch
Thanks to Tim Barnett, Mike Wescombe, Chris Dean and
Manchester as Jose Mourinho began work as
Louise Connelly (pictures), Haymarket Pre-Press (repro),
Pete Maxwell, Catherine Rees, Alex Lucas, Charlie Holmes United boss. What makes this all so interesting
Pictures PA Photos, Action Images/Reuters, Getty,
Twitter, Rex Features, Imago is that no one knows what will happen next. If Have any
thoughts on the
Global brand director Andy Jackson Jose had been given the job after Alex Ferguson
Global editor-in-chief David Hall issue? Feel free
Business development director Andy Baker retired, the narrative would have been different: to share with a
Global account director Adam Kaczmarski
Marketing manager Ollie Stretton two serial winners combine to dominate English follow and tweet
International director Alastair Lewis @FourFourTwoEd
Senior direct marketing executive Faith Wardle football. Probably. What then would have been
Syndication enquiries Isla Friend
Deputy production manager Suzanne Wiseman
a match made in heaven is now a marriage of
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 AUG U ST 2016

EURO 2016 DIARY

8 “I can’t stop thinking about Space Jam...”
Neither can we, Wrighty. But FFT stopped for a bit
so we could record the events of a memorable
European Championship. Dimitri Payet’s exocet
on the opening night, Bastian Schweinsteiger’s
surprisingly energetic goal celebration, Hal
Robson-Kanu’s Cruyff turn... Relive the good, the
bad and the ugly from four weeks of frolics in
France. Spoiler alert: the hosts do quite well

FEATURES
One-on-One: Pierre van Hooijdonk
The former Nottingham Forest striker and Dutch
36 international answers your questions, from scoring
at the 1998 World Cup to playing under Jose
Mourinho and falling out with Dave Bassett

42 COVER STORY Man United and Mourinho

The Special One has finally landed the job he has
always craved. But will his steadfast beliefs and
unique style suit the mantra of a behemoth like
Manchester United, or will sparks fly when this
unstoppable force meets an immovable object?

Pioneering managers
54 Meet the men who moulded today’s top bosses,
featuring the Midlander who launched tiki-taka and
the Lancastrian who inspired the Magical Magyars

60 Bizarre five-a-side teams

FFT tracks down the casino dealers, RAF officers
and brain surgeons, for whom a dust-up at the
local Powerleague is just another work night out
66 1966 and all that: The untold stories
Heard the one about Eusebio gatecrashing
a wedding during the World Cup? No? What about
when greyhounds took priority over the football?
Discover forgotten tales from a historic summer
76 Prepping for your pro licence
We go back to school with Kevin Phillips, Fabrice
Muamba and Fredi Kanoute to find out what
you need to succeed on a UEFA coaching course
82 4-4-2: Back with a vengeance
Everyone’s talking about it again thanks to Leicester
and Atletico. What led to the system’s resurgence?
And what was wrong with it in the first place?

Action Replay: Gunter Netzer

The former Borussia Monchengladbach star’s story
88 is one seldom told outside of his homeland. From
fast cars to fashion shoots, the two-time German
Footballer of the Year was a trailblazer for his time

PLANET FOOTBALL
95 Getting shirty: Bordeaux kit not a hit with fans
96 Nigel de Jong reveals his favourite nicknames
102 Misery in Milan: two Italian giants still toil
Plus Stuffed seagulls; The German gaffer madder
than Klopp; Earth’s wackiest tournament

PERFORMANCE
105 Go with your gut and keep your head in the game
107 Arda Turan on finding the space to create chances
108 Hector Bellerin: become a modern-day full-back
Plus How to breathe easy; What happened when FFT
tried out cryotherapy; Dressing room initiations

6 August 2016 FourFourTwo.com

 p42

n one of the game’s biggest egos make

his mark on one of its biggest clubs?
E
It’s make-or-break time for Mou

Euro 2016 diary p8

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FourFourTwo.com August 2016 7

 E U R O 2 01 6
REVIEW
It was quite a month in France, and FFT scribbled it
From Dimitri Payet’s stunning winner to start the
way to the final in Saint-Denis, this is how it happe
Words Nick Harper, Si Hawkins, Louis Massarella, Nick Moore, Chris Flanagan, Andrew Murray
W
hen Euro 2016 began back
on June 10, we had a few
questions. Would the French
crumble under the pressure
of being hosts, having won
the previous two major tournaments
held on their own patch? Could England
go all the way? Would the addition of
eight extra teams lead to the likes of
Wales, Iceland and Hungary stinking out
the tournament? Questions, questions…
But there were things we knew for
certain, too. Portugal were going to be
all Ronaldo and no trousers. Spain were
guaranteed semi-finalists. Nobody was
going to stop Harry Kane, Thomas Muller
and Zlatan Ibrahimovic from rattling in
goal after goal in their quest for the
Golden Boot. And there was
slightest chance that either
Ireland or the Republic of Ire
emerge from difficult groups
We at FFT were confident t
predictions, inklings and wild
the dark would come to pas
would be good news for our
account balance but, we fea
a disaster for our Euro 2016
After all, where’s the fun in G
marching predictably to the
Fortunately we were so wr
2016 saw upsets, drama, wo
howlers, ripped shirts, burst
commentators and every na
Europe adopting a terrifying
chant. Relive it all with us no
EUR O 2016
REVIEW
David Guetta
shrieks at the
GROU P A Stade de France

FRIDAY JUN E 10
2 FRANCE
Giroud (57), Payet (89)

1 ROMANIA
Stancu (65 pen)

MATCH RATING OOOOO

WHAT'S THE STORY?

Millions tune in for the last five minutes
of Emmerdale and – more importantly –
the beginning of Euro 2016. Before
kick-off there’s a cliché-heavy opening
ceremony, as lads in hooped jumpers
and saucy can-can girls frolic round
a carousel. “The French are famous for
their kisses… naughty but nice,” purrs
ITV's Clive Tyldesley unsettlingly. David
Guetta plays records and shouts like
a wino at traffic, but it’s all mercifully
short, and after a lusty rendition of
La Marseillaise, we’re underway. The
game’s a typically nervy curtain-raiser: “Some people are
Olivier Giroud eases the tension with on the pitch…”
a headed opener and Bogdan Stancu
equalises from the spot, before Dimitri
Payet prompts a nationwide scream of
relief by rocketing home from 20 yards.

THE GOOD
Plenty of positives for the hosts: Paul
Pogba looks every inch the tournament's
Parisian posterboy with some luscious
roll backs and fine through-balls; N’Golo
Kante plays his muscular henchman “What was the
to perfection, and jinking genius Payet keeper doing?”
puts on a 20-minute masterclass to
send even the most shruggy French
local into Tricolore-waving raptures. “oh no!” like a pantomime five-year-old
when Romania score their equaliser and
THE BAD later commending Payet for “animating
Dimitri Payet picks his
Very little to hate, although Romania’s the animation”. Nope, us neither.
spot… and his moment
(albeit understandable) lack of attacking
intent suggests that the Euros' new THEY SAID WHAT?!
format may lend itself to bus-parking “After one or two of their performances
on an unprecedented scale over the
coming days. Get it forward, lads!
Payet's stunner sent even th should be counting
ngs that they even

THE UGLY
shruggy French into raptu e flight,” said Roy
vator’ Keane, in
While Paris parties, Marseille burns. Or, dence-boosting
at least, a handful of bozos in England d as he assessed
shirts chant “ISIS, where are you?” MEANWHILE, IN... tableau is the capa rish squad before
outside the Queen Victoria pub and …Luebbenau, Germany, the Teutonic Mark Pougatch. He departed Dublin
scuffle with some local dunderheads – obsession with soothsaying animals joined by Emmanu e tournament.
leading to a couple of arrests and a light continues, as Flocke the Humboldt Petit – resembling
tear-gassing. This one may run and run. Penguin – who lives at a health spa, a wealthy Game of IC MOMENT
the lucky, endangered swine – predicts Thrones brothel ke s tears of joy as
THE CRAZY a Die Mannschaft victory over Ukraine who opines intellig s subbed after his
The ITV ‘reporting’ – or shouting – of with some strategic waddling. There’s about France’s rece uster (left). It’s all
2013 Wimbledon tennis champ Marion no point, mate, you’re never going to problems and how actor to start with
Bartoli and former Manchester United top that Euro 2008 octo-oracle, Paul… the woe: “football ’ erworks this early
goal-plunderer Louis Saha from the Paris the quality to bring dings, but if we had
fans’ park is utterly deranged. “COME PUNDIT WATCH ’appiness”. Over on that on the opening
ON – ALLEZ LES BLEUS!” bellows Bartoli ITV have upgraded their personnel since wireless, 5 Live’s Th major tournament,
like a one-woman hen party, as Saha Euro 2012’s punditry hate crimes. Sitting Henry demonstrate robably fancy
performs an uncomfortable jig. Weird. at the head of an Eiffel Tower-based such nous, bellowi le blub, too.

10 August 2016 FourFourTwo.com


WHAT'S THE STORY?
Two solid Home Nation performances –
and two blunderbuss free-kicks – are
the highlights of the first full day’s play,
which ends up being far more fun for
the Welsh than the English. All three
Brothers Granit (right) and games are tense: Fabian Schar nets
Taulant Xhaka swap shirts early for Switzerland, but they have to
after Albania-Switzerland cling on desperately against a spirited
10-man Albania. Euro debutants
Slovakia and Wales contest a cracker,
0 ALBANIA as a swerving Gareth Bale set-piece and
1 SWITZERLAND a shinner-winner from Hal Robson-Kanu
are enough to give the principality three
Schar (5)
points. Meanwhile, England slowly
MATCH RATING OOOOO strangulate Mother Russia – and think
they have finished her off with an Eric
Dier missile – before she leaps back into
2 WALES
Bale (10), Robson-Kanu (81)
1 SLOVAKIA
Duda (61)
MATCH RATING OOOOO
1 ENGLAND
Dier (73)
1 RUSSIA
V. Berezutski (90+2)
MATCH RATING OOOOO
GROUPS A+B Bale makes a splash
against Slovakia
SAT URDAY JUNE 11
life like a berserk Bond villain to snatch
an equaliser, as Vasili Berezutski expertly
loops a header over a stranded Joe Hart.
THE GOOD
The Welsh anthem Hen Wlad Fy Nhadau
is spine-tingling, and early trickery from
Bale and Aaron Ramsey are a joyful
indication of a side playing without
nerves or fear. Wayne Rooney, Dele
Alli (below right) and Adam Lallana
shine in a swaggering, but ultimately
thwarted, Three Lions side. Albania’s
whopping great flag is sweet, too.
THE BAD
Albania skipper Lorik Cana scuppers his
compatriots’ chances by getting sent
off before the half-time break thanks to
a backflip-handball hybrid, while Slovak
nutjob Martin Skrtel runs through his
full gamut of crimes, scything down
Welshmen at will, yet somehow gets
away with just the one yellow card.
THE UGLY
The violence in Marseille takes a rather
nasty new twist, as a group of organised
Russian hooligans rock up on the south
of France to form an unwelcome aggro
triangle with already punchy English
boozers and fiery French youths. Bars
blaze, an English fan is thrown in the
harbour, and riot police even collar
a bottle-lobbing French mademoiselle
in heels and a pink dress. Sacre bleu!
Bosh! England
finally take the
lead in Marseille...
EU R O 2 0 16
REVIEW
THE CRAZY
Halfway through Albania vs Switzerland,
we mysteriously cut back to the studio,
where a shadowy Dan Walker sits,
silhouetted like a nervous witness
describing a heist on Crimewatch,
munching on a big bag of Maltesers.
Blood sugar is very important, Dan.
MEANWHILE, IN...
…London, the Queen’s 90th birthday is
marked with Trooping The Colour. Her
Majesty is resplendent in a green coat
and hat combo, and doubtless proud to
hear that her subjects are singing the
national anthem enthusiastically in
and around the Marseille waterfront.
PUNDIT WATCH
Robbie Savage spearheads the BBC’s
confederacy of dunces, calling Gareth
Bale a “splash of a superstar”, and
blurting twisted linguistics like “the
flyers are tackling in” and “have a look
at your ref, watch!” Alongside Thierry
Henry being barely arsed to analyse
Albania vs Switzerland, and a bizarre
segment in which Kelly Cates details
Albanian ethnic cleansing, it’s quite
a shaky start to the Beeb’s coverage.
THEY SAID WHAT?!
Valleys deity Bale attempts to stoke up
Group B with some narky asides about
England. “They big themselves up before
they’ve done anything,” he bellows. “So
we believe that we can beat them You
never want to lose t
MAGIC MOMENT
On a day riddled wit
negative headlines,
the love-in betwee
Albania and the Swi
– countries bound b
mass migration – is
beautiful to see. It
is epitomised by the
mum of Taulant and
Granit Xhaka, whose
clever dual flag T-sh
is the first acceptab
example of half-and
attire in football hist
...but Berezutski
strikes
late for Mother Ru
ssia
FourFourTwo.com August 2016 11
EUR O 2016
REVIEW

Schweiny busts
a gut to clinch it
for the Germans

one side he has the number four shaved

into his head, on the other a map of his
homeland. Oh look, there’s Dubrovnik…

THE UGLY
More unsavoury scenes on the streets,
this time in Nice, which fails to live up
to its name when local thugs attack
Northern Ireland supporters before
their team’s game with Poland. On the
pitch, Croatia’s Vedran Corluka battles
on manfully after coming off worse from
a clash with the feisty Cenk Tosun. But,
after three stoppages to have his head
bandaged – white, blue, white again –
even the most ardent Terry Butcher fans
agree that this is all getting a bit silly.

THE CRAZY
GROU PS C+ D Modric wheels Germany are in Kroos control at the
away after his Stade Pierre Mauroy in Lille as Teutonic
SUNDAY JUN E 1 2 wonder strike Toni torments Ukraine. So why don’t
they, you know, mark the Real Madrid
midfielder? Former Fulham man Danny
0 TURKEY from golfing hair-sponge Rory McIlroy –
while the world champions’ triumph,
“Love Modric. Murphy in the BBC commentary box
can’t believe it, and neither can we.
1 CROATIA
Modric (41)
if predictable, comes from an unlikely
source: the head of former Everton
Can we not all MEANWHILE, IN...
MATCH RATING OOOOO stopper Shkodran Mustafi, who’s only
in the side because of injuries to both chip in to bring ...Marseille, it transpires that Jamie
Vardy’s new wife, Rebekah, was among
Mats Hummels and Antonio Rudiger. those tear-gassed by riot police amid
1 POLAND him back to the ugly scenes between fans of England
Milik (51) THE GOOD and Russia. This, as UEFA threaten to
0 NORTHERN IRELAND A tidy German midfield trio. Toni Kroos
and Mesut Ozil both provide sumptuous
English game?!” throw out the two teams and the hosts
announce an alcohol ban around the
MATCH RATING OOOOO assists, the latter's perfect cross expertly fan zones and stadiums. Shame.
thumped in by Bastian Schweinsteiger.
With Robert Lewandowski too busy bar the red and white badge, and Gerry PUNDIT WATCH
2 GERMANY tussling with Jonny Evans, meanwhile, Armstrong's classy co-commentary As Slaven Bilic continues to run the show
Mustafi (19), Schweinsteiger (90+2) Arkadiusz Milik is always Poland’s most on BBC One. Let’s hope that he’s not on ITV with his blend of knowledge and
0 UKRAINE likely goalscorer, his neat left-footed
finish enough to get the White Eagles
restricted to Northern Ireland games. wild hand gestures, it’s a busy day for
Gary Lineker over at the Beeb. As well
MATCH RATING OOOOO up and running. Special mentions, too, THE BAD as having some decent one-liners, the
for Turkey’s striking trackie tops, all black A day of missed sitters across the anchorman is the target of a leaky roof
Channel, with Turkey’s Ozan Tufan, in the Eiffel Tower-overlooking studio.
WHAT'S THE STORY? Croatia’s Darijo Srna and Ukraine’s
It’s starter’s orders for the front-runners Yevhen Konoplyanka – even though THEY SAID WHAT?!
(Germany), dark horses (Croatia) and his scuffed effort does draw a heroic “He’s in his prime, he’ll only get better.”
probable also-rans (sorry Northern goal-line clearance from Jerome Alan ‘confused’ Shearer on Toni Kroos.
Ireland). The first two, plus Poland, are Boateng – left wondering what the
in danger of ‘doing an England’ before French is for ‘cow’s arse’ and ‘banjo’. MAGIC MOMENT
securing the the victories that their Kyle Lafferty’s overhead kick from 25 It just has to be Luka Modric’s dipping,
dominance deserve. In truth, Michael yards out (left) also makes for painful first-time volley winner against Turkey.
O’Neill’s team rarely look like holding out viewing. But the honours go to Croatia’s “Love Modric......” tweets a salivating
for the draw that they seem set up for – Ivan Perisic, whose dazzling wing-play, Jamie Carragher, "can we all not chip in
despite a motivational video message sadly, is not matched by his hairdo – on & bring him back to the PL?!” Hear, hear.

12 August 2016 FourFourTwo.com


GROUPS D+ E
M O NDAY JUN E 13
1 SPAIN
Pique (87)
0 CZECH REPUBLIC
MATCH RATING OOOOO
1 REPUBLIC OF IRELAND
Hoolahan (48)
1 SWEDEN
Clark (71 og)
MATCH RATING OOOOO
0 BELGIUM
2 ITALY
Giaccherini (32), Pelle (90+3)
MATCH RATING OOOOO  Shearer and Danny Murphy sitting either
WHAT'S THE STORY?
Questions abound as this epic-looking
day kicks off: Will Spain recover from
their Diego Costa-cursed World Cup?
Can Ireland’s creaking warriors stop
the ageless superman Zlatan? And are
Belgium about to fulfill that ‘next big
thing’ tag? Well, yes, nearly, and no.
Spain’s avuncular walrus, Vicente del
Bosque, adds new faces but still lacks
a fox en el box, relying on emergency
centre-forward Gerard Pique for a late
winner (top). Ireland dominate Sweden,
and score a humdinger through Wes
Hoolahan, but then struggle to even
draw. Yet Belgium are so feeble against
unfancied Italy – who tonk them 2-0 –
that Group E still looks full of possibility.
THE GOOD
Spain’s Alvaro Morata misses chances,
but justifies his selection by wiping out
a linesman with a tackle that, in slo-mo,
is reminiscent of a Roy Keane revenge
special. Andres Iniesta’s near-perfect
performance and a Bobby Moore-esque
assist from Italy’s Leonardo Bonucci are
equally special, but more romantic is
the tale of two schoolfriends, Ireland’s
Robbie Brady and Jeff Hendrick, who
outshine Ibrahimovic. Meanwhile, in
the Beeb studio, follicly challenged Alan
side of Kevin Kilbane looks like Phil and
Grant Mitchell intimidating Ian Beale.
THE BAD
Belgium? Big mess. Romelu Lukaku
needs a holiday, while Kevin De Bruyne
just looks really, really hot, and not in
a sexy way. Perhaps Jose Mourinho was
Belgium are so feeble against
unfancied Italy that Group E is
still full of possibility for Ireland
onto something. Also pretty dreadful are
Sweden, particularly ex-Arsenal flop Kim
Kallstrom, who “looks heavy” according
to Mark Lawrenson. True, he does patrol
the midfield like a portly cop patrolling
a doughnut shop. Let’s spare Ciaran
Clark, already scarred by Villa’s season,
nodding Ibra's cross into his own net.
He needs some Ciaran attention.
THE UGLY
After an unlikely opener from Emanuele
Giaccherini - on loan at Bologna from
Sunderland - Italy gaffer Antonio Conte
emerges from the goal celebrations
with a bloody nose. An accident? Then
Graziano Pelle undergoes “relocation” -
as Martin Keown puts it - for a dislocated
finger, accompanied by the inevitable
close-up. Thankfully the director pulls
out before the global audience faints.
THE CRAZY
Later on, that same director shows
a replay of Italy’s Ciro Immobile almost
scoring, followed by the fans’ curtailed
EU R O 2 0 16
REVIEW
celebrations. Only the fans in question
appear to be Belgian. Continuity errors
during live football: impressive work.
MEANWHILE, IN...
...TalkSport’s hotel-room studio, Ray
Wilkins worries about England’s morale,
after an interview with Jack Wilshere.
“He’s saying ‘Hart’, ‘Rooney’ - why not
their first names?” muses ‘Butch’. Weird.
PUNDIT WATCH
Something rather unnerving becomes
apparent as Lee Dixon co-commentates
on the Spain game: he has got exactly
the same voice as Karl ‘Idiot Abroad’
Pilkington. And a similar disposition.
That clattered linesman, for example,
deserved it. “That’s what you get,”
fumes the former England full-back,
“for wearing orange laces.” Harsh.
THEY SAID WHAT?!
Igor Lebedev, shaven-header deputy
chairman of Russia’s parliament, is
a real charmer. “I don’t see anything
terrible in fighting fans,” he says. “On
the contrary, well done. Keep it up!"
 
MAGIC MOMENT
Hoolahan strikes against the Swedes
(bottom) - cut to the Irish crowd going
bananas, and a bloke waving his crutch.
A Norwich player scoring? It’s a miracle!
“I know, I can’t
believe how bad
they are, either...”
EUR O 2016
REVIEW
GROU P F
TUESDAY JUN E 14
0 AUSTRIA
2 HUNGARY
Szalai (62), Stieber (87)
MATCH RATING OOOOO
1 PORTUGAL
Nani (31)
1 ICELAND
B. Bjarnason (50)
MATCH RATING OOOOO
WHAT'S THE STORY?
After four days of largely predictable
fare, Group F finally produces some of
the trademark big-tournament shocks
that make football such a marvellous
caper. The first half of Austria-Hungary
is sporting landfill, however the Magyars
become vaguely magical in the second:
Adam Szalai ends a slick passing move
to grab his first goal in 41 matches,
before Zoltan Stieber – who learned
everything he knows at Yeovil Town –
caresses home a sensational chip to
seal the first real surprise Euro 2016
result, at their neighbours' expense.
But Iceland – whose population, we’re
constantly told, is smaller than Cristiano
Ronaldo’s personal grooming staff – go
on to write an even bigger headline in
Saint-Etienne. Everybody fancies CR7 to
easily overpower lots of strapping men
(OK, two) called Sigurdsson, and this
looks inevitable after Nani manages to
breach their backline before half-time.
Pepe tries out
a new ‘tackle’ on
Jon Dadi Bodvarsson
“Too-ra-loo-ra,
too-ra-loo-ra,
aye... everybody”
But a crisp volley from Birkir Bjarnason
earns the debutants a famous result.
Karma for jailing their bankers, right?
THE GOOD
Massively bearded Viking figurine Aron
Gunnarsson puts in an almighty reducer
on Ronaldo just a minute into his side's
clash with Portugal. It sets the tone for
a heroic rearguard action. Elsewhere,
90-year-old Hungary goalkeeper Gabor
Kiraly’s unwashed painter-decorator
kecks remain highly commended.
THE BAD
Foot stamps, Ricardo Carvalho letting his
studs linger after making a challenge,
Pepe’s occasional Pepe-ing: Portugal’s
ungentlemanly conduct can’t help but
reinforce A Seleccao's image as baddies
stamping on a loveable underdog’s face.
Ricardo Quaresma’s thuglife teardrop
tattoos hardly help. Over in Bordeaux,
Austria's Aleksandar Dragovic gets his
marching orders after two yellow cards.
THE UGLY
Abysmal Russian attitudes towards the
weekend’s violence continue; security
chief Vladimir Markin claiming that his
French counterparts were ill-prepared to
deal with “normal” supporters because
they’re “more used to policing gay pride
parades”. The 2018 World Cup in Russia
is looking more and more fun, eh?
THE CRAZY
A PR genius at frozen food outlet Iceland
takes a quick break from keeping Peter
Andre's spray tan levels topped up to
tweet: “YYYYEEEEEEESSSSSS” following
Bjarnason’s equalising goal. Cunning.
MEANWHILE, IN...
…the West Country, the Cornish Pasty
Association wade into the Brexit debate,
claiming they “support remaining in”,
because EU regulations stop anyone
outside the county from making their
succulent baked goods. Cop that, Boris!
PUNDIT WATCH
On the BBC, Thierry Henry remains in
cruise control, opining: “I still don’t
understand how Iceland qualified” –
seconds after a 10-minute film which
had explained how Iceland qualified.
THEY SAID WHAT?!
Romania manager Anghel Iordanescu
defends Denis Alibec ahead of his side's
fixture against Switzerland amid media
reports the striker was smoking in the
changing room before coming off the
bench against France during Friday's
nament kick-off. "It's difficult to
what he really did because I was
ching the game," puffs Iordanescu.
GIC MOMENT
gary’s supporters are phenomenal:
r trademark slow-handclap chant
nds like Come On Eileen for nutcases,
Stieber’s late clincher against the
trians sparks a group hug between
entire squad and 2,738 fans, while
nager Bernd Storck – a man who's so
gdog he makes Vicente del Bosque
madcap – wells up with tears of joy.
ungary fans’
ow-clap chant
ounds a bit like
ome on Eileen
or nutcases

GROUPS A+ B
W EDNES DAY JUNE 15
1 RUSSIA WHAT'S THE STORY?
Glushakov (80) After a first round that can be filed
2 SLOVAKIA under ‘cagey’, will the second set of
matches see things open up a little?
Weiss (32), Hamsik (45)
Today’s fixtures suggest not. Slovakia
MATCH RATING OOOOO dominate a dreary Russia beneath
a closed roof in Lille, despite a brief,
stuttering revival, while Romania and
1 ROMANIA Switzerland’s draw is the tournament
Stancu (18 pen) so far in microcosm: tidy, technically
1 SWITZERLAND excellent and lightly enjoyable without
ever being wildly exciting. Even hosts
Mehmedi (57)
France are frustrated by a spiky Albania
MATCH RATING OOOOO side for 90 Marseille minutes – before
Antoine Griezmann and Dimitri Payet
break their spirit with another late show.
2 FRANCE
Griezmann (90), Payet (90+6) THE GOOD
0 ALBANIA Somehow, we’re nearly a week into the
tournament without any big refereeing
MATCH RATING OOOOO bungles or angry punters sending errant
linesmen death threats and dog muck in
the post. Indeed, the men in the middle
have gone almost unnoticed, a virtual
miracle in the hyper-analysed modern
era. Hats off, refs... but can it last?
THE BAD
Tensions bubble between English, Welsh
and Russian fans in Lille. Stan Collymore
is on the frontline like a sporty Rageh
Omaar, and gets tear-gassed live on
Periscope while barking “JOURNALISTE!”
at riot police. The tragicomic farce is only
accentuated when a Brummie yells “Up
the Villa!” as Stan regains his eyesight.
THE UGLY
Naughty Joachim Löw apologises for
scratching his testicles in the Germany
dugout. “When you’re full of adrenaline,
things happen that you don’t perceive.
I’m trying to behave differently. Sorry,”
he says. What a load of old b*****ks.
THE CRAZY
A middle-aged man ventures out onto
his Parisian balcony for a little air, only to
become a hero to thousands of Republic
of Ireland fans boozing in The Harp Bar
down below. They cheer wildly every
time he emerges like a deranged Pope,
and then boo when he goes back inside.
MEANWHILE, IN...
…London, Nigel Farage and Joey Essex
spearhead a bizarre flotilla of ‘Brexit
boats’, pursued by furious Remain-er
Bob Geldof, who bellows about the
UKIP man being “no fisherman’s friend”.
PUNDIT WATCH
Just sometimes, Mark Lawrenson’s
withering worldview aligns perfectly
EU R O 2 0 16
REVIEW
“Give me that
phone! I want a
selfie with Stan”
with a period of action. “How long have
we done, 20 minutes?” he tuts as Russia
vs Slovakia gets off to an interminable
start. “Tall players don’t jump that high,”
he continues, “they’ve never had to.”
Over on ITV, Craig Bellamy impresses
while talking about player passion.
“Fire? It can cook your food, or it can
burn your house down," he opines.
THEY SAID WHAT?!
After giant baby Cristiano Ronaldo
huffed: “I thought they’d won the Euros,
the way they celebrated,” about Iceland
the night before, Kari Arnason responds
with some superb slang he must have
picked up in Aberdeen. “What does he
expect, for us to play like Barcelona?
He fannies about and dives around. We
didn’t pay any extra attention to him.”
MAGIC MOMENT
Marvellous Marek Hamsik (left) stands
out for Slovakia, and not just for his mad
hairdo. The Napoli man's goal is a gem,
just edging Slaven Bilic mounting ITV's
studio table after Payet’s strike (top).
FourFourTwo.com August 2016 15
EUR O 2016
REVIEW
GROU PS B+ C

TH UR S DAY JUNE 16
2 ENGLAND
Vardy (56), Sturridge (90+2)

1 WALES
Bale (42)

MATCH RATING OOOOO

0 UKRAINE
2 NORTHERN IRELAND
McAuley (49), McGinn (90+6)

MATCH RATING OOOOO

0 GERMANY
0 POLAND
MATCH RATING OOOOO

WHAT'S THE STORY?

Finally, after all the talk, the front- and
back-page rabble-rousing, the tabloid
tub-thumping and the cod-psychology,
a game of football breaks out.
In Group C, Northern Ireland beat
Ukrai… eh? Oh yeah, right, the other one.
The England vs Gareth Bale showdown
arrives, and we get an answer to that
classic pub debate of who would come
out on top if three lions fought a dragon.
The reality is a soporific affair, high on
huff and puff and honest endeavour but
low on quality. It’s never the full-fat
“dust up” that Chris Coleman was
hoping for, but ugly nonetheless.
Wales’ rope-a-dope-Bale-and-hope
approach appears to be working to plan
when his second speculative free-kick
of the tournament squirms in to give
Wales the half-time lead and a sniff
of qualification with a game to spare.
But England’s interval changes spark
a second-half revival that sees Jamie
Vardy level proceedings with only his
third touch in Big Tournament football,
perhaps helped in part by the news that
chewing tobacco and guzzling caffeine
drinks can boost a player’s performance
levels by as much as seven per cent!
Super-sub Daniel Sturridge then slays
the dragon, toe-poking a deserved but
unlikely injury-time winner. It’s enough
to have England supporters dreaming
of a quarter-final exit on penalties.
Elsewhere, it seems there are actually
some other games besides ‘The Battle
of Britain’ taking place on Day Seven. It
is followed by Norn Iron claiming a first
European Championship finals win with
a well-earned 2-0 victory over Ukraine,
their success built on an impressive
display, mixing boundless energy and
controlled aggression. It’s their first
tournament win since that historic
Sturridge snatches
it at the death...
Joe Hart attempts to rally the
troops with a Churchillian battle
cry - if Churchill had Tourette’s
victory over World Cup hosts Spain back
in 1982, and it blows Group C wide open.
In the final clash of the day, Germany
escape with a draw against a powerful
but impotent Poland, for whom even
Robert Lewandowski is firing blanks. The
world champions are strangely impotent
“Who needs
Will Grigg?!”
throughout in Saint-Denis, and coach
Joachim Löw doesn’t once rub his penis.
Perhaps the two things are connected.
THE GOOD
Roy Hodgson’s timely tinkering deserves
praise – particularly the fact that after
playing just a single striker in England's
opener with Russia, he throws caution
to the wind by shoving all five on here.
It’s either a tactical masterstroke or the
last throw of a very desperate man. But
equally impressive are the three officials
who combine to rule that the equaliser
is very much onside, despite all our initial
doubts and Bale’s throaty protestations.
What we don’t see, but they do, is that
the ball cannons off the head of Ashley
Williams, into Jamie Vardy’s path, then
on into the net. Yes, via the head of
Wolverhampton-born Ashley Williams
no less, which adds an extra level of
complication to the officials’ thinking.
THE BAD
Chris Coleman’s cautious approach
might be understandable but it’s still
pretty hard to stomach. A sorry lack of
ambition makes for a typically Premier
League-type affair – but think Villa vs
Norwich as opposed to Arsenal vs
Chelsea. For England, Raheem Sterling
and Big Leggy Harry Kane are atrocious
and deservedly hauled off at the break
– they may struggle to return in this

16 August 2016 FourFourTwo.com


...after Bale’s
free-kick had
beaten Hart
tournament. Joe Hart isn’t much better.
He has one job to do all game – palm
Bale’s well-struck but routine free-kick
away to safety – yet he fails abysmally.
THE UGLY
If Joe Hart’s hapless flapping doesn’t
cause him sleepless nights, the fact
he has let down the kids really should.
Rewind to the tunnel, pre-game, and
Hart attempts to rally his troops with
a Churchillian battle cry – if Churchill
had suffered from Tourette’s. “Right
boys, pride, get that ball, move that
f***ing ball, c’mon,” roars the rather
pumped-up custodian, failing to note
the BBC camera capturing every word.
A Corporation apology duly follows.
THE CRAZY
In easily the most surreal match of the
tournament so far, Northern Ireland’s
win over Ukraine is stopped when the
heavens open and God rains down
a barrage of head-sized hailstones.
Later, the Irish take time-wasting to
an amusing new level as Paddy McNair
prepares to come on, only to find that
“This enough
passion for
you, eh?”
no one will come off. After twiddling
his thumbs on the touchline for seven
minutes that seem more like a lifetime,
he finally gets on for the final three.
MEANWHILE, IN…
...celebrity love story news, Taylor Swift
and that Night Manager bloke are now
confirmed to be ‘in a secret romance’.
Obviously it’s no longer secret and they
probably won’t still be canoodling by
the time you read this, but there we go.
PUNDIT WATCH
It’s a quiet day/night on Planet Pundit.
The BBC’s calculated Hartson-Saunders,
Lewy still can't
hit the target
Shearer-Ferdinand match-up produces
no fireworks or fisticuffs whatsoever –
what made sense on paper fell flat in
3D. Similarly, the experiment of sticking
Robbie Savage and Martin Keown in the
same commentary box at the Stade
Bollaert-Delelis in Lens yields friction
but no punches, sadly. And not even ITV
can rescue the night. The usually reliable
‘Bilic + Wright + AN Other' formula that
has served them so well thus far falls
flat for the late game. It doesn’t help
that the Germany-Poland clash is
a bit of a dud, or that the AN Other is
charm vacuum Lothar Matthaus. Not
even Wrighty and Slaven can save that.
EU R O 2 0 16
REVIEW
THEY SAID WHAT?!
Ahead of Ireland’s clash with Belgium,
Roy Keane revisits an old theme by
confirming he’d have happily kicked
Eden Hazard around in training had he
moaned that he wanted to leave for
another club. “That's nothing personal,
I would do that to anybody who was
talking about possibly wanting to leave
all the time,” smirks Keane with that
murderous glint. “If it was true – that
they wanted to leave and had a poor
attitude to training – then I would kick
them in training, yes. But I have kind of
done that with most players, I suppose,
even the lads who didn't want to leave.”
MAGIC MOMENT
Dele Alli’s role in England’s winner is
subtly sublime – to the point of going
unnoticed. As Roy's Boys push for a late
winner, the ball falls under the starlet's
feet. Surrounded by red shirts but aware
of Sturridge to his left, Alli flicks the ball
into the striker’s path and the substitute
does the rest. Alli was quiet by his own
high standards, but that single moment
and deft touch more than compensate.
FourFourTwo.com August 2016 17
EUR O 2016
REVIEW
GROU PS D+ E

FRIDAY JUN E 17

1 ITALY
Eder (88)

0 SWEDEN
MATCH RATING OOOOO

2 CZECH REPUBLIC
Skoda (76), Necid (89 pen)

2 CROATIA
Perisic (37), Rakitic (59)

MATCH RATING OOOOO

3 SPAIN
Morata (34, 48), Nolito (37)

0 TURKEY
MATCH RATING OOOOO
Petr Cech can’t
keep out Ivan's
WHAT'S THE STORY? delightful dink
Today we learn nothing that we didn’t
already know. This Italy team probably
is the worst in 50 years after all, but it’s
still altogether Italian enough to make
the knockout stages with a game to
spare. The Azzurri conjure a single
moment of quality in the whole game
against an equally clueless Sweden –
Eder running at a sweating Andreas
Granqvist, who lands on his arse and
raises a white flag as the little Brazilian
thumps home. In the celebrations that
follow, Antonio Conte avoids bloodying
his nose and his wig stays on, so all in
all it’s a good day for him. Then we learn
that Croatia without Luka Modric may Sergio Ramos
struggle – 2-0 ahead against the Czechs does his best to “Nice try,
with him pulling every string; a panicking imitate Ibrahimovic mate”
mess as soon as he hobbles off. That
only confirmed what we had already
suspected. And we learn that Spain
remain comfortable in possession and Conte avoids bloodying his nose reveals that when he talks to people:
“I always ask them, Iniesta or Xavi?”
should go far. Plus ça change, indeed. What, always, Lee? Everyone? Every
and his wig stays on, so all in all single time? Have a day off, Dicko.
THE GOOD
The quality of goals is impressively high.
The run and drive of both Eder and Ivan
it’s a good day for the Italy coach THEY SAID WHAT?!
“This guy is just too much. One time he
Perisic, Ivan Rakitic’s dink, both Czech lost the ball, I nearly fell off my chair.”
goals – one a clever header, the other an BBC pundit Thierry Henry assesses Luka
emphatic penalty – and Spain’s 21-pass flares (above right) as well as fighting MEANWHILE, IN... Modric’s contribution in Croatia’s draw
move for Alvaro Morata’s second strike. with each other as the Czechs mount …dead-ball news, Tony Pulis is getting with the Czech Republic with a little bit
their riposte. UEFA open an investigation increasingly angry on co-commentary of drool hanging from his bottom lip.
THE BAD that could end with them being either duties for ITV. “I've been disappointed
Sweden are dismal again – even poor sent home or politely asked not to let it by the set-pieces at this tournament,” MAGIC MOMENT
Zlatan Ibrahimovic. He spoons over happen again. “These are not really says Captain Cap while watching the In the opening moments of the second
a gaping goal from inches out against Croatian supporters. These are sports holders Spain, of all teams, in possibly half against Turkey, el maestro Iniesta
Italy. While it may have been flagged terrorists,” says Croatia boss Ante Cacic. the most Pulis comment ever heard. does what only he can do, taking a ball
offside, it sums things up quite nicely. on the halfway line, nonchalantly lifting
THE CRAZY PUNDIT WATCH it over an onrushing opponent’s head
THE UGLY Croatia defender Domagoj Vida’s lank Days after announcing that if he could and haring off into the distance. Over
Croatia’s knuckle-dragging hooligan little ponytail might be classed as crazy. have any super power it would be to in the ITV studio, superfan Lee Dixon
minority ruin the game by throwing Snip it off, son, you're fooling nobody. be Andres Iniesta for a day, Lee Dixon makes a terrible mess of his trousers.

18 August 2016 FourFourTwo.com

 EU R O 2 0 16
REVIEW
fiddling about in space by touching back
3 BELGIUM down on earth, crash-landing on terra
R. Lukaku (48, 70), Witsel (61) firma after a 17,000 mph journey home.

0 REPUBLIC OF IRELAND He emerges looking a little bit green.

Gylfi (left) shows

MATCH RATING OOOOO PUNDIT WATCH
Ronnie how it’s done
Most notable is what the pundits don’t
from the penalty spot
say, rather than what they do. “What
1 ICELAND about Hazard?” asks trusty ITV anchor
G. Sigurdsson (40 pen) Pantomime villain Cristiano Ronaldo wild lunge at Eden Hazard (below) takes Mark Pougatch at half-time during
later endures a torrid time against neither ball nor man and allows the Belgium vs Ireland, referring to another
1 HUNGARY the Austrians. He huffs and he puffs, speedster to tee up Lukaku's second. half of nothing from the Chelsea man.
B. Saevarsson (88 og)
he preens and he pouts, and he plays The room falls awkwardly silent, until
MATCH RATING OOOOO like a man teetering on the verge of THE UGLY Manu Petit shrugs, then exhales very
a nervous breakdown. He misses a late A job lot of Hungarian clowns clash with long and very loud – translation: merde!
penalty, taking his tournament stats to: security before kick-off against Iceland,
0 PORTUGAL 20 shots (more than nine countries have which is tediously ugly. Robbie Brady THEY SAID WHAT?!
0 AUSTRIA managed), 0 goals. If he can take any
comfort tonight, it’ll come from the fact
gets a ball kicked hard in his swingers
against Belgium, replayed in slow-mo
“Despite the thorough body and bag
searches at the stadium entrances, it
MATCH RATING OOOOO that Iceland's 1-1 draw with Hungary HD on ITV, which is amusingly ugly. is extremely difficult to completely
means it’s still wide eliminate the risk that fireworks are
brought into the stadiums.” After more
WHAT'S THE STORY? THE GOOD ed Shane Long bangs during Iceland-Hungary, a UEFA
In many ways the second Saturday of Even before the first d kicked off by suit admits they’re pretty powerless to
Euro 2016 is the stuff of nightmares. Romelu Lukaku is pla an defenders stop flares being smuggled into the
Ireland’s display is a horror show – who knows goals wi , referee Cuneyt stadiums. Which is why, it seems, they
playing for a draw and wondering if come. Perhaps beca aves play on. It’s have simply stopped bothering to try.
three single points will be enough to he knows he’s playin he penalty area,
scrape them into the knockout stages, against the Republic ess at the time, MAGIC MOMENT
the Republic are left needing to blow ear as effing day. Sixteen minutes into Iceland-Hungary,
the bloody doors off and beat Italy. THE BAD the two sets of supporters go to war,
The Irish are very po happily, in the form of hand-clapping
both collectively and WHILE, IN... and warrior-like grunts. The acoustics
GROUPS E+F individually. This t hstan, British provided by the Stade Velodrome’s roof
Ciaran Clark de aut Tim Peake make it all sound terrifyingly impressive.
SAT URDAY JUNE 18 be singled o his 186 days of
EUR O 2016
REVIEW
GROU PS A+ B
SUNDAY JUN E 1 9,
M O NDAY JUN E 20
0 ROMANIA
1 ALBANIA
Sadiku (43)
MATCH RATING OOOOO
0 SWITZERLAND
0 FRANCE
MATCH RATING OOOOO
0 SLOVAKIA
0 ENGLAND WHAT’S THE STORY?
MATCH RATING OOOOO Calculators at the ready, because things
are about to get complicated. In Lyon,
Albania finally register the win that their
0 RUSSIA energetic displays deserve courtesy of
3 WALES Armando Sadiku’s first-half header. It
might not be enough to get them out
Ramsey (11), Taylor (20), Bale (67)
of Group A, though, with France and
MATCH RATING OOOOO Switzerland through in first and second
respectively after a predictably tame
stalemate in Lille, despite the best
efforts of Paul Pogba (above) and Dimitri
Payet, who both rattle the woodwork.
In Group B, another 0-0 draw, this
time in Saint Etienne, brings into focus
the problem with the tournament’s
expanded format. England, who yet
again are dominant but profligate in
front of goal, go for a win, with Slovakia
seemingly happy to take third and hope
that four points is enough. Thank you,
Sadiku savours then, Wales, who top the table after
historic winner a textbook counter-attacking display.
Bale vs Ronaldo in the last 16, anyone?
20 August 2016 FourFourTwo.com
...as England toil
against Slovakia
Taylor nets
his first goal
since 2010...
THE GOOD
Albania’s supporters… again. Of the
25,000 who make the trip from Tirana
to Lyon, a special mention must go to
the young fan donning the, er, classic
combination of a traditional Albanian
dress and a foam finger. Sadiku’s header
just before the break – his country’s first
goal at a major tournament – is a nice
moment too, complete with
whole-squad-plus-staff
pile-on celebration.
THE BAD
Where to start? England’s
finishing, the Romanian
goalkeeping, the pitch in
Lille… but none are quite
as amateurish as Russia’s
defending. Clinical as Wales
are on the break, a team of
under-7s could have picked
that ageing defence apart.
Not that England managed it.
THE UGLY
Slovakia find themselves in the wars
against England. Peter Pekarik (bottom)
sees claret after a stray Ryan Bertrand
arm to the nose, while fellow defender
Jan Durica cops Jordan Henderson’s
well-struck volley to the chops and
Martin Skrtel blocks Dele Alli's fierce
drive a bit further south. All of this after
Migjen Basha does a passable Nigel de
Jong impression against Romania the
night before – the Albanian midfielder
lucky to escape with a yellow card after
his early flying tackle on Ovidiu Hoban.
THE CRAZY
It’s a bad night for German apparel
during Switzerland-France. Four of
the Swiss' Puma shirts rip – prompting
Rio Ferdinand to ask Puma-sponsored
Thierry Henry what’s going on – while
the Adidas matchball bursts in the
second half under the incredible force
of Antoine Griezmann’s (Puma) studs.
MEANWHILE, IN...
…the Germany camp, Mats Hummels
admits he’s a fan of ‘Will Grigg’s on Fire’,
which has taken social media by storm.
While the superstar defender insists he’s
“not terrified” of facing the Wigan and
Northern Ireland striker, he isn’t man
enough to showcase his own rendition
of the song to the waiting media. Boo.
PUNDIT WATCH
Over on BBC Four, Manish Bhasin heads
up the Beeb’s C-team to cover Romania
vs Albania, with the better-than-this
Trevor Sinclair joined by Homes Under
The Hammer presenter Dion Dublin,
who graces us with absolute gems like
“trust is the biggest word in football”.
THEY SAID WHAT?!
“I hope Puma don’t make condoms.”
Xherdan Shaqiri makes a good point.
MAGIC MOMENT
Wales’ second goal is the first
scored by Swansea left-back
Neil Taylor for more than
six years, when he netted
for Wrexham in front of
just 298 people against
Grays Athletic in the Blue
Square Premier League. No
wonder he looks surprised.

GROUPS C+D
Yilmaz (right) sends
TUESDAY JUN E 21 Czechs home early
0 UKRAINE WHAT’S THE STORY?
Ah, the nail-biting quasi-tension of
1 POLAND ‘probably qualified already'. Northern
Blaszczykowski (54)
Ireland, essentially just needing to not
MATCH RATING OOOOO get thrashed, happily accept a 1-0 loss
to Germany in a Group C game that
peters out alarmingly; meanwhile
0 NORTHERN IRELAND Poland again look quietly efficient,
narrowly beating toothless Ukraine to
1 GERMANY finish second. The perma-bouncing Norn
Gomez (30)
Iron masses – including Rory McIlroy in
MATCH RATING OOOOO a George Best shirt – get to properly
toast their mighty two defeats/one win
later as a reinvigorated Turkey eliminate
0 CZECH REPUBLIC the Czech Republic. A Luka Modric-less
Croatia surprisingly thrive, beating the
2 TURKEY defending champions to top the group
Yilmaz (10), Tufan (65)
and avoid Italy in the last 16; after
MATCH RATING OOOOO making five changes. Reserves of steel.
THE GOOD
2 CROATIA This evening’s stars aren’t the hyped
N. Kalinic (45), Perisic (87) celebs. Northern Ireland’s clubless
1 SPAIN custodian Michael McGovern almost
single-handedly repels Germany, while
Morata (7)
Poland's Jakub Blaszczykowski belts in
MATCH RATING OOOOO “one of the goals of the tournament…
I think?” according to a somewhat
uncertain Mark Lawrenson. And
Nikola Kalinic mid-air backflicks
a fabulous opener for Croatia
(left) before setting up the
late winner for Ivan Perisic
(right). Remember that
guy, Blackburn fans?
THE BAD
And the household names?
Not so good. Glenn Hoddle
spits curious fury at Spain’s
David de Gea for Croatia’s
deflected winner, after Sergio Ramos
blasts a generously awarded penalty
at Croatia’s miles-off-his-line keeper.
Robert Lewandowski and Thomas Muller
misfire again, while the clamoured-for
Mario Gomez scores once, misses loads.
THE UGLY
Turkey endure an accidental assault.
A gruesome cut above Gokhan Gonul’s
eye reopens so their physio races over –
too quickly – and pokes him right in the
wound. Elsewhere, Northern Ireland’s
keeper hero McGovern repels one of
Muller’s shot with his McGoolies. Ouch.
THE CRAZY
Why does Gerard Pique flip the finger
at the television camera during Spain’s
anthem? Perhaps it's a complaint about
their away kit, which looks like an old
vest so covered in blood, sweat and
(possibly) worse that they pixelated it.
MEANWHILE, IN...
…EU referendum hell, David Beckham
makes an Ole Gunnar Solksjaer-like
late appearance for Remain, so Leave
respond with John Barnes. Which is
McGovern takes
(another) one
f the team
EU R O 2 0 16
REVIEW
news to Barnesy, who’s pro-EU. He’s
the England man, with a master plan.
PUNDIT WATCH
Behind the BBC's red button, trade
secrets are revealed. “One Premier
League striker’s description,” laments
Lawro on a lack of striking talent, “was
‘speaks five languages’, which means
he’s rubbish at football.” Off camera
on 5 Live, still-menacing former Arsenal
keeper Jens Lehmann is similarly frank
about facing Zlatan Ibrahimovic. “On
a good day you don’t react,” he says.
“But on a bad day, you try to kill him.”
THEY SAID WHAT?!
“We need a Stalinist mobilisation,”
thunders Russia’s Communist Party,
blaming capitalism for the national
side’s exit. “Eleven millionaires are
running around with half-bent legs.”
Insert your own ‘left-winger’ joke here.
MAGIC MOMENT
The whole Turkish team, subs, staff and
possibly several fans bundle on gruff
gaffer Fatih Terim after Ozan Tufan’s
clincher. You’re the one for me, Fatih.
“Pick this
one out,
Lawro”
EUR O 2016
REVIEW
GROU PS E+F

W EDN ES DAY JUNE 22

3 HUNGARY
Gera (19), Dzsudzsak (47, 55)

3 PORTUGAL
Nani (42), Ronaldo (50, 62)

MATCH RATING OOOOO

2 ICELAND
Bodvarsson (18), Traustason (90+4)

1 AUSTRIA
Schopf (60)

MATCH RATING OOOOO

0 ITALY
1 REPUBLIC OF IRELAND
Brady (85)

MATCH RATING OOOOO

0 SWEDEN
1 BELGIUM
Nainggolan (84)

MATCH RATING OOOOO Gera gets mobbed

after his stunner

WHAT’S THE STORY?

A tournament that has been simmering
nicely finally bubbles over with drama,
especially in Lyon, where Hungary and
Portugal share a six-goal end-to-ender.
No doubt the pick of the bunch is Zoltan
Gera’s opener, the midfielder rolling back
the years with a left-footed half-volley,
but three times the Magyars surrender
the lead. Iceland set up a last-16 clash
with England with a late, late winner,
leaving Austria as Group F’s odd team
out. There are two more late winners in
Group E, with Radja Nainggolan ruining
Zlatan’s Sweden swansong, while Robbie
Brady’s header sends the Republic of
Ireland through. Time for a lie down.
THE GOOD
Cristiano Ronaldo finally comes to the
party, with a slide-rule assist for Nani
followed by two fine finishes - a sublime
half-volleyed flick followed by a powerful
header (top). Glad you could join us.
“Ibrahimovic has tried to pull him
off and then come across him”
observes a keen-eyed Tony Pulis
THE BAD
We know some of the Austrian fans are
wearing Mozart wigs, Guy Mowbray, but
do you really have to subject us to all
of your pre-prepared Alpine puns?
“The stands are alive with the
sound of music,” he chirps after
Das Team's national anthem,
and it gets even worse when
Alessandro Schopf equalises:
“A Viennese Waltz through the
Iceland defence”. Straight red.
THE UGLY
CR7 again. First, he lobs a reporter’s
microphone into a lake because he
tried to ask him a question during the
Portugal squad’s morning walkabout.
Unnecessary. He then throws a hissy
fit in the post-match press conference,
Brady rescues
the Republic
because apparently he has to answer
questions there, too. This, after coach
Fernando Santos passes a note onto
the pitch that says something along
the lines of “don’t take any risks, lads,
it looks like a draw will be enough”.
The downside of the new 24-team
format at this year's Euros laid bare.
THE CRAZY
The tournament goes deflection
mad, with not one but two
Balazs Dzsudzsak strikes
against Portugal deceiving
“Adios, Rui Patricio, and Belgium's
Ibra” winner against Sweden,
on closer inspection,
taking a telling nick
off midfielder Erkan
Zengin. Cruel world.
MEANWHILE, IN...
...Hungary, it’s National Wear Your Grey
Jogging Bottoms To Work Day in honour
of their 40-year-old sweatpant-wearing
stopper Gabor Kiraly. Whatever next?
PUNDIT WATCH
So-bad-he’s-good co-commentator
Martin Keown is on top form, observing
that Ronaldo is “looking onimous”
against Hungary, while Thierry Henry
gets a little too excited that Portugal
wonderkid Renato Sanches is coming
on, saying: “My man, finally, woo hoo!”
THEY SAID WHAT?!
“Ibrahimovic has tried to pull him off
and then come across him.” Zlatan is
a bit too fond of Belgium's right-back
Thomas Meunier, according to Tony
Pulis, keeping a keen eye on the Swede.
MAGIC MOMENT
Given he describes it as “an out-of-body
experience”, Brady’s goal must have felt
pretty good, but it’s nothing compared
to one Icelandic commentator’s reaction
to Arnor Ingvi Traustason’s injury-time
winner (far left). Our Icelandic is a little
rusty so we can’t quite make out the
beginning and the end, but we’re pretty
sure the middle bit translates as “Yes,
yes, yes”, screamed like Meg Ryan in
When Harry Met Sally. Only on steroids.

22 August 2016 FourFourTwo.com








EUR O 2016
REVIEW
“Skyfall seems
appropriate”

Croatia map against Turkey, a red-and-white

national-flag appears on his bonce. The
question is: does he also have an ‘away’
hairstyle, to cope with any kit clashes?

MEANWHILE IN…
…Glastonbury, Adele’s set concludes with
the blubsome Someone Like You. Flick over
to the Northern Ireland highlights and it’s
perfect knocked-out montage music.

PUNDIT WATCH
The Beeb clearly love a bit of beef. “Dean
Saunders and Neil Lennon will be refereed
LAST 16 Shaqiri’s stunner by Alan Shearer,” joshes Gary Lineker before
wasn’t enough Wales vs Northern Ireland, fully aware that
SATURDAY JUNE 25 for the Swiss it was Shearer who once volleyed Lennon’s
head. Things get a little bit spicier when
Neil suggests Norn Iron should hit Gareth

1 SWITZERLAND Poland, conjure a magical fightback,

then lose anyway via a penalty howler
Shaqiri (82)
that’s almost worth dozing through
1 POLAND extra time for. Almost. The best tie on
Blaszczykowski (39) paper, Croatia vs Portugal, is one “for
(POLAND WIN 5-4 ON PENALTIES) the aficionados” admits Clive Tyldesley –
translation: absolutely nothing happens
MATCH RATING OOOOO until Ricardo Quaresma’s late tap-in.
By then, most floating TV voters have
probably swapped Cristiano for Glasto.
1 WALES
McAuley (75 og) THE GOOD
either (a) can’t shoot, or (b) can’t see.
“How much?” asks Mark Lawrenson.
“30 million,” says Jonathan Pearce.
“Sterling?” Sadly, we lose Croatia, who
seem uncharacteristically fearful in
a game that only ignites after the
disinterested Ronaldo grudgingly
creates the winner. Then the TV
director keeps moving away from
the frantic finale to look for some
moody shots of the crowd, like
a frustrated auteur. Le utter tool.
Bale ‘early and hard’ (“what, injure him?”
splutters Saunders), but the pair are fairly
civil until Lineker quizzes the new Hib boss
on who Wales might play in the quarters.
“I don’t care!” chirps Neil, whose sojourn
in France presumably ends here as well.
ID WHAT?!
t time in history that a couple
core goals in the Eurocup -
ue and Shaquiri!!!” Mrs Gerard
ue, also known as Colombian

0 NORTHERN IRELAND Playing pretty well doesn’t always pay

off. The Swiss bag the best-goal-so-far THE UGLY
pstar Shakira, does some (albeit
orly spelled) football banter.
MATCH RATING OOOOO gong as titchy Stoke X-Man Xherdan One admirable novelty is the
Shaqiri caps a bravura display with Terminator-like manner which IC MOMENT
a superhuman scissor-kick… then flies sees certain players emerge ri’s scissor-kick to force extra
0 CROATIA home. Croatia’s fit-again Modric is miles from horrific-looking collisions. gainst Poland is so sensational
better than Ronaldo, but he leaves too. Swiss centre-back Fabian Schar wro’s sidekick goes all Robot
1 PORTUGAL (AET) And Michael O’Neill executes a tactical cleans out Robert Lewandowski, Haven't heard Jonathan Pearce
Quaresma (117)
masterclass, but W l i h f h by-the-Swiss cited,” muses one Tweeter,
MATCH RATING OOOOO Still, it’s heartenin hen rugged e Sir Killalot chucked Chaos 2
fans getting on. A ight) goes al the flame pit.” Heady days.
rare applause to fter a collisio
WHAT’S THE STORY? smartly appoint a belligerently like
After two rest days full of EU aggro back ref, Martin Atkins night in Monty
home, the Euro business over in France that game. A sur rail. “It’s just
proves fun-free too, as the knockout sensible move. “You stupid
stages begin with three semi-stinkers. got no arms left!”
The much-trumpeted Home Nations THE BAD
clash is a tale of two Gareths, greying Where to begin, e AZY
warrior McAuley scoring a harsh own New Gunner Gran miss Ivan Perisic’s
goal from Bale’s wicked cross (bottom Xhaka’s penalty cky barnet (left).
right). Switzerland start poorly against suggests he After the shaved

24 August 2016 FourFourTwo.com

 EU R O 2 0 16
REVIEW

SUNDAY JUN E 26

2 FRANCE
Griezmann (58, 61)

1 REPUBLIC OF IRELAND
Brady (2 pen)

MATCH RATING OOOOO

3 GERMANY
Boateng (8), Gomez (43),
Draxler (63)

0 SLOVAKIA
MATCH RATING OOOOO

0 HUNGARY
4 BELGIUM
Alderweireld (10), Batshuayi (78),
Hazard (80), Carrasco (90+1)
Griezmann heads home to
MATCH RATING OOOOO draw France level in Lyon

WHAT'S THE STORY?

That’s better. After three real rotters to
kick-off the last 16, the knockout stages
begin in earnest with a stonking Sunday
triple. The opening seconds of the first
game are as dramatic as it gets, when
Paul Pogba’s clumsy challenge on Shane
Long allows the Republic of Ireland to
stun the hosts from the penalty spot.
France look shell-shocked for the rest
of the half, before finally making their
three days’ extra rest count against an
exhausted Green Army after the break.
The other two matches are far more
one-sided, with Germany strolling to
a victory over Slovakia, who, having
parked the bus to draw 0-0 against
England, opt for a Robin Reliant against
the world champions, and then proceed
to leave all the windows open and the
doors unlocked. Plucky Hungary™ also
do away with defending, against the
Belgians, making for an entertaining
if lopsided evening fixture. The cream
is slowly rising to the top, folk
THE GOOD
Fittingly for the business end
of the tournament, several
big names shine. Antoine
Griezmann takes his two goal
brilliantly against Ireland and
only denied a hat-trick by Sha
Duffy’s red-card foul. Julian D
torments Slovakia and is rewa
with a goal and an assist. King
Coman makes a momentum-
appearance from the France b
But man of the day is undoub
Eden Hazard, who, fresh from
Hazard warning: Eden
starts to hit top form
gap year at Stamford Bridge, delivers
an irresistible display against Hungary
in Toulouse, and is ably assisted by the
always-excellent Kevin De Bruyne.
THE BAD
M i Sk l Slovakia and Hungary both
erclasses in poor defending
r and Toby Alderweireld are
pletely unmarked to bag
set-piece goals – but the
soon-to-be ex-Liverpool
entre-back (left) has the
tandout stinker, chasing
n shadows when he isn’t
ng Mario Gomez in the
to concede a penalty.
UGLY
r your worst gear to work
V, where the blue, spotty
ed by pitchside reporter
Leon Mann is gazumped by Ian Wright’s
cacti-emblazoned long-sleeved number.
Have a word with them both, Pougatch.
THE CRAZY
Another day, another deflected goal,
this time by Jerome Boateng, albeit after
a sweetly struck volley that would have
found the target, if not the net, anyway.
MEANWHILE, IN...
…Nice, world heavyweight champion
Tyson Fury decides to take in England’s
game against Iceland after pulling out
of his rematch with Wladimir Klitschko
because of an ankle injury. He rewards
some lucky Three Lions supporters by
picking up a €1,000 bar bill. Knockout.
PUNDIT WATCH
While Messrs Lineker, Shearer and
Ferdinand mercilessly remind Thierry
“I’m claiming that”
Henry of his 2009 handball against
the Republic of Ireland on the BBC,
on ITV Lothar Matthaus bats away
suggestions that his compatriots are
no longer any good at penalties after
Mesut Özil’s failed spot-kick. “We’re
saving them all for the semi-final
against England.” 1-0 Germany.
THEY SAID WHAT?!
Commentator Joe Speight: “He’s not the
quickest striker.” Iain Dowie: “Nothing
wrong with that.” JS: “He doesn’t score
many goals, either.” ID: “Let’s move on.”
MAGIC MOMENT
Eden Hazard’s trademark goal against
Hungary, cutting in from the left to
beat three defenders and finish with
confidence, is proof that he’s back to
his best. Great news for the Red Devils,
but a little worrying for everyone else.

FourFourTwo.com August 2016 25

 EU R O 2 0 16
REVIEW
LAST 16

M O NDAY JUN E 27
2 ITALY Pelle finishes
Chiellini (33) Pelle (90+1)
off the holders
0 SPAIN
MATCH RATING OOOOO THE BAD more movement than England’s whole PUNDIT WATCH
Even mid-game, Iceland aren’t taken attack, leaping onto the dugout roof Ever wondered what Sky Sports do
entirely seriously. “Should Roy drop Hart to celebrate Graziano Pelle's clincher when England are on terrestrial TV?
1 ENGLAND for the quarter-final?” ponders presenter and hoofing a ball away with hilarious They get Steve McClaren to watch it
Rooney (4 pen) Mark Pougatch at the break, blissfully frustration. Chelsea will quickly knock for them. The former Three Lions boss

2 ICELAND unconcerned that England might lose.

R. Sigurdsson (6) Sigthorsson (18)
MATCH RATING OOOOO
WHAT’S THE STORY?
Oh dear. That lucky-looking last 16
draw turns out to be a Viking funeral
for Roy Hodgson’s reputation. Defeat
to Iceland – tiny country, mighty geysers
– is “the worst performance I have ever
seen from an England team,” fumes
a purple-faced Alan Shearer. “Score
early and you’ll thump 'em,” suggests
every pundit beforehand, a theory
Iceland ignore by equalising seconds
after Wayne Rooney’s fourth-minute
penalty. When they then go in front
before the 20-minute mark, England
wilt like roses in a microwave. Hodgson,
bereft of any answers, declines to take
questions as he quits there and then.
Also sent home are the holders, Spain,
who are outplayed by an Italy team who
seem emboldened by pre-tournament
criticism. Just how do they do that?
Hodgson is curiously unresponsive too,
only giving five minutes to the fearless
Marcus Rashford. He and Danny Rose
actually tackle each other and manage
to win a free-kick, which Harry Kane –
still taking set-pieces! – balloons into
touch. Spanish ineptitude for Italy’s
opener seems tame by comparison.
THE UGLY
That titanic clash at the Stade de France
is pleasingly tasty and bloody. “Get up,
your team’s 1-0 down!” thunders the
Beeb's Danny Murphy, oozing sympathy
as Aritz Aduriz’s hooter oozes blood,
which at least blends into Spain’s shirt.
THE CRAZY
Italy gaffer Antonio
Conte (right) offers
More Hart-ache
for Three Lions
supporters
that out of him. On Twitter, there are
differing business reactions to the Three
is untroubled by Iceland. “No problem,
keep dominating, the only thing they’ve
Lions' surprise exit. “England were good got is the big boy up front, Sigthorsson,
when we made the kits,” brag Umbro, who really… ohhh…” and he physically
while discount frozen food peddlers deflates as the ‘big boy’ pops up with
Iceland scribble: “*pulls shutters down*” the winner. Anyone got a pump?
after Kolbeinn Sigthorsson’s strike
slithers through Joe Hart's fingers. THEY SAID WHAT?!
Good idea. ant, Ian Wright appears to
ther planet. “I just can’t
MEANWHILE nking about the film Space
IN… he says. “It’s like the
…Argentina, stars nicked our talent.”
29-year-old
Lionel Messi qu GIC MOMENT
international f ose it during the anthems,
losing his fourt th. They’re rigid and
in nine years, i se, while the Italians
America Cente ellow Il Canto like 11 lean
major finals, e Pavarottis. Maybe that’s
years? That mu the secret to success.

THE GOOD
Every Iceland player is “absolutely
outstanding,” says Shearer, which
makes no sense but, hey, he’s upset.
He even offers to replace Hodgson
himself, which is generous. Iceland’s
actual standout is defender Ragnar
Sigurdsson, who not only equalises but
nearly scores again with an overhead
kick and last-ditch-tackles Jamie Vardy.
Giorgio Chiellini is similarly valiant for
the Azzurri, bundling in their first goal
and repelling everything that Spain can
muster; mind you, without David de Gea,
Vicente del Bosque’s dethroned champs
would have been buried by the interval.

Aron Gunnarsson
leads Iceland’s
celebrations
EUR O 2016
REVIEW
QUARTE R- F INALS
TH UR S DAY JUNE 30
1 POLAND
Lewandowski (2)

1 PORTUGAL
Renato Sanches (33)
(PORTUGAL WIN 5-3 ON PENALTIES

MATCH RATING OOOOO

WHAT’S THE STORY?

Poland’s miserly defence up against
Portugal’s malfunctioning forward line THE CRAZY
always looked like ‘one for the purists’ – Cabin fever sets in on ITV: Ian Wright
i.e. about as mouth-watering as Ebola seems to be wearing a surgeon’s gown.
couscous – and so it proves at the Stade
Velodrome: an immovable rock against MEANWHILE, IN… FR I DAY J ULY 1
a not-particularly unstoppable force, …London, Boris Johnson withdraws from
resulting in stalemate and spot-kicks. the Conservative Party leadership race 3 WALES
while Gareth Southgate doesn’t really A. Williams (31), Robson-Kanu (55),
THE GOOD fancy taking on the England job. Does Vokes (86)
Robert Lewandowski’s opener – the
second-fastest goal in Euros history –
anyone want to do anything any more?
1 BELGIUM
Nainggolan (13)
prompts a passable first half. There’s PUNDIT WATCH
some fine defending to admire, and ITV draft in Ryan Giggs to give their MATCH RATING OOOOO
Portugal’s penalties are ruthless. studio a Principality flavour, but he’s
a grumpy addition, hammering English
THE BAD players’ “washbag culture”. He also WHAT’S THE STORY?
Cristiano Ronaldo (top right) rages at his claims the Three Lions should “appoint The beers are really flying in Cardiff’s
team-mates i l d f ithin”. Touched a nerve, Giggsy? fan park now. Wales’ victory over the
while simulta tournament’s top-ranking team isn’t away with crucial fouls. You’d imagine
a string of air SAID WHAT?! that surprising – all three BBC pundits Belgian TV went a bit bigger on those.
such an avera to let the world know. plump for them – but their football, like
drawing their next destination is Man those pints, hits new heights. Ashley THE CRAZY
is mildly depr United,” Zlatan posts on Williams cancels out Radja Nainggolan’s It lashes down, all day. Biblical rain. But
Instagram, ages after the rocket (above right), then two stunning do they shut the stadium roof? Nah.
THE UGLY world already knew. goals – from Championship strikers –
In what is get lots of people back home very wet. MEANWHILE IN…
probably CR7 MAGIC MOMENT …Paris, Glenn Hoddle discusses the
best sidestep Lewy celebrates The tournament’s hotly tipped THE GOOD England job. “We’re in a hypothetical
the entire eve his one and wonderkids have had a mixed Once sacked by Coventry City, Chris world, and I don’t live in that world,
the Portugues only goal month, but Renato Sanches Coleman’s stock is rising rapidly. His I’m a realist,” says the gaffer who
successfully e hines, bags the all-important changes work brilliantly here, starting sent injured players to a spiritualist.
second pitch qualiser (below), and wallops Hal Robson-Kanu, then bringing on Sam
of the tourna n the best penalty of the lot. Vokes. Great selections, great system. PUNDIT WATCH
Robbie Savage has been surprisingly
THE BAD measured during Wales games, but
Marc Wilmots looks considerably less loses it after Robson-Kanu’s Cruyff turn
composed as his erratic superstars (below left). “See you later, Meunier!
fizzle, again, while one downside for See you later, Denayer! See you later,
Coleman is losing two key players for the Fellaini!” See you Wednesday, Pepe.
semi-final against Portugal, particularly
the Gareth Bale-rivalling Aaron Ramsey. THEY SAID WHAT?!
nonymous
THE UGLY lf” - Hazard’s
Whisper it, but Wales are luck ummoxes
2-1, Williams and Ben Davies Hartson.

AGIC
OMENT
s the victors
“I didn’t know elebrate their
you could storic result,
do that!” eir huddle
ms a big
art shape.
ry fitting.

28 August 2016 FourFourTwo.com

 EU R O 2 0 16
REVIEW
Pogba heads
home No.2
SATURDAY JULY 2
1 GERMANY
Özil (65)

1 ITALY
Bonucci (78 pen)
(GERMANY WIN 6-5 ON PENALTIES)

MATCH RATING OOOOO THE UGLY

WHAT’S THE STORY?
The pick of the quarter-finals (on paper,
anyway) sees the two heavyweights
sparring in the opening rounds. Then, as
Martin Keown puts it, “a football match
starts to break out”. Mesut Özil sweeps
his team into the lead after a slick move
down the left, Leonardo Bonucci levels
from the spot and, for a change, both
fighters try to land the knockout blow
in extra time. As for the penalties…
THE GOOD
Gianluigi Buffon’s save, Alessandro
Florenzi’s control, Manuel Neuer’s
sweeper-keeping, Mats Hummels'
through-ball, Emanuele Giaccherini’s
energy. Yes, Sunderland fans, we're
still talking about that Giaccherini.
THE BAD
Simone Zaza (top, centre). Brought on
specifically for the penalties, his only
kick is still in Bordeaux aerospace after
a comedy run-up and a finish to match.
Jerome Boateng’s accidental elbow to
Eder's nose looks even more painful in
slo-mo. Anyone for a glass of Claret?
THE CRAZY
Boateng’s penalty-conceding star jump
(below left). What are you thinking, man?
MEANWHILE, IN...
…Chantilly, it emerges that staff at
England’s HQ were told to remove its
chandeliers before the players arrived,
amid fears of hi-jinks. Footballers, eh?
PUNDIT WATCH
“1,095 career goals between them and
not a single hair on their heads.” Gary
Lineker makes himself popular with
Messrs Vialli, Shearer and Henry.
THEY SAID WHAT?!
“There were lots of women with only
one shoe on because they had been
running like mad.” Sales of Louboutins
soar in Paris after the fan park in front
of the Eiffel Tower is evacuated due to
a bomb scare. It later transpires that
the loud bangs were 'only' firecrackers.
MAGIC MOMENT
Alessandro Florenzi’s flying goal-line
save to deny Thomas Muller sums up
Italy’s commitment throughout the
tournament, even if the German's strike
was heading wide of the target anyway.
German joy
was quickly
cut short
SUNDAY J ULY 3
5 FRANCE
Giroud (12, 59), Pogba (20)
Payet (43), Griezmann (45)
2 ICELAND
Sigthorsson (56), B. Bjarnason (84)
MATCH RATING OOOOO
WHAT’S THE STORY?
France show exactly what a competent
team not wearing clown shoes can do
against the plucky-but-limited Vikings –
a four-goal first-half assault has them
home and hosed. They hound Iceland
into submission, to set up a semi-final
clash with Germany. Yet the Blue Army
(above right) never raise the white flag.
THE GOOD
Paul Pogba (right, centre) provides
a lung-busting masterclass as both
water-carrier and creator-in-chief.
THE BAD MEANWHILE, IN...
The game, as a contest. It’s a mis-match …Llantrisant, Wales, the Royal Mint
that only serves to again highlight the announces it’s releasing a £20 coin that
ineptitude of England’s performance. portrays “the Welsh spirit”. Gareth Bale?
Hal Robson-Kanu? No, a dragon. Snore.
THE UGLY
Outside the Stade de France, Parisian PUNDIT WATCH
police deal with a poorly parked car by “A little bit of fatigueness creeping into
blowing it up. A spokeswoman has some Iceland’s play,” points out grammar’s
good news for the owner though: “They Glenn Hoddle. Later, he uses the word
did not blow up the entire car.” Phew. “Swazz” to describe a cross into the box.

THE CRAZY THEY SAID WHAT?!

Iceland’s major weap th h it “I’ j d b not the first 45
throw-in (below) – sti s – but all my
of Wimbledon’s Crazy e in Iceland and
been a privilege to
involved.” Joint
oss Lars Lagerback
its the job with his
held very high.

MENT
of which there
“You’re not
000, perform
booing any
a one last time
more...”
whistle sounds.
ny less impressive.

FourFourTwo.com August 2016 29

EUR O 2016
REVIEW
SEMI-FINALS
W EDNES DAY JULY 6
2 PORTUGAL
Ronaldo (50), Nani (53)
0 WALES
MATCH RATING OOOOO
WHAT’S THE STORY?
It’s the competition’s surprise-package,
sexily-bearded and dragon-hearted
heroes against some moribund and
misfiring Portuguese misfits who’ve
drably drawn their way to the semis.
Grinning heart-shaped fox Gareth Bale
against grumpy, mic-lobbing CR7. Surely
the football Gods can’t conspire against
the good guys here? Of course they can:
a towering Ronaldo header and a Nani
poke conspire to end the Welsh dream.
THE GOOD
Ronaldo seems jaded – understandable
considering that he’s probably been
self-abusing furiously all day to news
reports about Lionel Messi’s conviction
over tax evasion – but his spring for the
opener reminds us that this is a truly
great athlete, as he ties Michel Platini’s
record of nine strikes at Euros finals.
And as much as Portugal have been
pyrotechnic-free, there’s something to
admire about a wily team that knows
its limitations and can strangulate an
opponent previously full of vim.
THE BAD
Post-Brexit, Wales show an unwanted
unity with England by putting in the kind
of dispiriting knockout performance so
familiar to the Three Lions: nervy, then
clueless, then desperate. The defending
– James Chester marking Ronaldo?! – is
dubious, and they’ll rue that soft Aaron
Ramsey suspension for the rest of time.
THE UGLY
Both sides wear cornea-curdling away
strips after it’s deemed that Portugal’s
home red clashes with the Welsh’s
‘charcoal’ effort. There are also a large
amount of empty seats – an absolute
crime considering the amount of Wales
30 August 2016 FourFourTwo.com
Ronaldo rises
to slay the
dragon
THE CRAZY
When Chris Coleman throws on MK Dons
striker Simon Church as an impact sub
shortly after the hour mark, it’s hard not
to marvel at the bewildering gulf in class
between Wales’ individuals and their
Portuguese counterparts – and salute
the corny old #togetherstronger schtick
that got them this far in the first place.
MEANWHILE, IN...
…Barcelona, Messi’s suspended
21-month sentence for tax
fraud means it’s unlikely
he’ll spend any time
in the slammer. So
no chance of him
getting any Ricardo
Quaresma-style eye
tattoos or hitting a big
man over the head with
a tray early doors to show
he’s not a soft touch, then.
“The ref has
made some
s**t decisions,
and the worst
is those socks”
up by saying very little indeed. Up on the
gantry, the rich Neath baritone of Stoke
assistant manager Mark Bowen replaces
the not-Welsh-enough-for-me-Clive
Andy Townsend. He starts off sounding
mildly bored, and ends up near-suicidal.
Any improvement is an improvement.
THEY SAID WHAT?!
“It was a shameless display of conceit –
“Diolch!” let God judge them!” roars a spokesman
for Vladimir Putin – a chap you do not
generally want to be on the wrong side
of – after it becomes apparent that
Russia’s calamitous side had splurged
€250,000 on champagne in a Monte
Carlo nightclub just days after being
eliminated, later claiming they’d been
bought said beverages by a wealthy
business type. Polonium chaser, lads?
PUNDIT WATCH MAGIC MOMENT
“I’m excited,” mutters As might be expected from a country
Ryan Giggs pre-match, billed explicitly as the Land of Song, the
despite looking like a man Welsh throng form a bombastic choir
who has just opened to salute their boyos at full-time. There
Coleman a slightly higher than is also a sporting on-pitch exchange
comforts anticipated electricity between Galacticos Bale and Ronaldo
Williams bill. Throughout the (bottom left) – although they might
evening, he’s full of have just been talking about that new
meaningful pauses, delicatessen that’s opened around the
which he then follows corner from their mansions in Madrid.

THURS DAY JULY 7
0 GERMANY
2 FRANCE
Griezmann (45+2 pen, 72)
MATCH RATING OOOOO
WHAT’S THE STORY?
A great, throbbing semi. Die Mannschaft
look to be extending their decades-long
domination of Les Bleus, until a typically
imperious display turns to scheisse.
France start brightly but are gradually
overwhelmed, and the Germans are
just a decent goalscorer away from
perfection. Oh, for another Miroslav
Klose, eh? Instead, the hosts get some
closure, riding their luck until a nerveless
penalty from Antoine Griezmann (below)
reverses the mood, and Germany stall at
this stage for the second Euros running.
THE GOOD
Griezmann – a sort of high-performance
Adam Lallana – is again outstanding,
and increasingly a contender for player
of the tournament. Cristiano Ronaldo
probably thinks differently. Props to
Didier Deschamps, bravely retain
rookie defender Samuel Umtiti an
Newcastle’s Moussa Sissoko rath
Gotze consoles
Kimmich (right)
than Leicester’s more feted N’Golo
Kante. Germany, prompted by Mesut
Özil, can’t understand what happened.
THE BAD
That absent German spine – Hummels,
Khedira, Gomez – eventually tells, as
they go uncharacteristically wobbly.
Bastian Schweinsteiger sullies a fine
first 45 with a daft handball, and even
Manuel Neuer flails for France’s killer
second. “He was too arrogant!” says
ITV pundit Emmanuel Petit, miming
Neuer trying to catch it one-handed.
True, but the most-mocked player on
Twitter? Olivier Giroud, who wastes
France’s best pre-penalty first-half
opportunity by trundling toward goal
as if “towing an invisible caravan”.
THE UGLY
France’s formidable second half is
summed up by Bacary Sagna, who
tracks Julian Draxler’s run and wins
his side a goal-kick, then doubles up
due to an accidental knee in les boules.
“They can’t beat this French resistance!”
chirps co-commentator Martin
tad insensitively,
opposition.
ZY
eferee has made
e s**t decisions,”
gests Twitter scribe
extwinsdad, “the
st being those f***ing
ks.” Yes, much of the
line chat about this
match concerns official
Nicola Rizzoli’s attire;
he is sporting the
traditional all-black
Griezmann pokes
home France’s
but with blue stockings, and thus exudes
all the authority of that kid who always
turned up at PE with half his kit missing.
MEANWHILE, IN…
…The North, former Barcelona keeper
Victor Valdes joins Middlesbrough: quite
the change of scenery. ‘The Riverside’
probably sounded nice in the brochure.
PUNDIT WATCH
The striker-baiting begins at breakfast.
“I don’t fancy Giroud,” ponders Alan
Brazil on TalkSport, while Rio Ferdinand
reveals pre-match that “I used to look
at Giroud and think: ‘oh, he’s not gonna
cause me any problems’.” And even the
most critical Gooners must be feeling
EU R O 2 0 16
REVIEW
a bit protective when Gary Lineker and
Thierry Henry giggle at poor Olivier like
hyenas attacking a buffalo. But did Gary
reach a final? Non. And Giroud will play,
as Andre-Pierre Gignac is even worse.
THEY SAID WHAT?!
France and England: so near but so very
different. “We do not ha
solve all of the French
people’s problems,”
muses Deschamps, “bu
we can generate emotio
Meanwhile the FA’s sea
for a new England man
hots up. “We need to so
all of the key deliverable
a spokesman to 5 Live.
MAGIC MOMENT
Paul Pogba (right) & Co.
Iceland’s Viking chant a
(top). Earlier, the Paris fa
nuts at Griezmann’s ope
scenes. Almost too incre
wonders if UEFA added
in via CGI, like the way G
went back and ruined S
FourFourTwo.com August 2016 31
EUR O 2016
REVIEW

F IN A L
SUN DAY JULY 10
1 PORTUGAL
Eder 109

0 FRANCE (AET)
MATCH RATING OOOOO

WHAT’S THE STORY?

Flair-mongers France try to make good
on their status as the pre-tournament
favourites, pitted against preen-tastic
purist-perturbers Portugal.
It’s the host nation who are in
destruction mode early in the final,
though, as unlikely hard man Dimitri
Payet sends a virtual wrecking ball
through the knee of Cristiano Ronaldo,
leaving Portugal’s biggest (and, in fact,
only) star writhing in agony. Ronaldo vs
France in a major final rarely goes well –
just ask the Brazilian version about 1998,
played at the same stadium – and after
a fair bit of teary-eyed hobbling, the Real
Madrid star concedes he has to depart.
Without him, Portugal unsurprisingly
struggle to take hold of the game and
it’s Moussa Sissoko who is dominating,
playing with all the determination of
a man who knows this is his last chance
to earn a move and avoid playing in the
Championship with
Newcastle. Many
Toon fans are “But I don’t
cheering him on want to go...”
back home – they
don’t want him
playing for the
Magpies either,
after he’d shown
pretty much no
sign of this form
or work rate for suit-and-trainers combo, although we’ll man-eating, but they’re definitely big).
about three years. let him off purely because he’s Xavi. The reason? The hosts had left the lights
There’s precious on the night before, racking up the sort
little in the way of THE UGLY of electricity bill that would make you
clear-cut chances Not content with his weird teardrop switch supplier. The solution to the moth
and the first half is summed up by THE GOOD tattoos, Portugal’s Ricardo Quaresma mayhem is to send out a couple of
a cutaway to a yawning Luis Figo, but English referee Mark Clattenburg (below) decides to take it up another notch for blokes armed with a vacuum cleaner
France miss two golden opportunities enjoys a largely controversy-free game. the showpiece by shaving some sort of and a broom, giving them half an
after the interval as Antoine Griezmann Unlike Howard Webb at the 2010 World leaf into the side of his head. It’s been hour to Hoover up approximately half
heads over and substitute Andre-Pierre Cup, at no point does he point-blank one of the fads of the tournament: a million moths. Sadly it doesn’t quite
Gignac hits the post. Portugal finish the refuse to send someone off for sending Quaresma’s effort certainly isn’t up work, and one of the pesky fliers even
90 minutes on level terms for the sixth a karate kick into an opponent’s chest. there with Ivan Perisic’s Croatia flag lands on Cristiano Ronaldo’s eyelashes
time in seven matches at these finals, chequers, although it’s marginally less as he lays prone following his early knee
and Fernando Santos’ men then come THE BAD embarrassing than the huge coq problem, thereby adding insect to injury...
very close to scoring in extra time when There’s yet another pre-match that Paul Pogba decided to shave
Raphael Guerreiro’s free-kick hits the performance from long-haired into the side of his own noggin. MEANWHILE, IN…
bar. They only have a few seconds to professional grinner David Guetta, ...London, a blubbing Andy Murray wins
wait before a goal does come, though, as if Europe hadn’t suffered THE CRAZY his second Wimbledon title with victory
as Eder’s fierce strike stuns the hosts. enough during the opening A swarm of massive, over Milos Raonic, who helpfully obliges
Cue French tears at the final whistle ceremony. Xavi also man-eating moths by being a considerably worse tennis
and a reinvigorated Ronaldo whipping delivers the trophy descends on the Stade player than his usual final opponent,
off his shirt as Portugal clinch their first to the field in de France for the final Novak Djokovic. Murray’s immediately
ever major trophy. Ronaldo 1 Messi 0. a questionable (OK, they’re probably not installed as the favourite (again) for BBC

32 August 2016 FourFourTwo.com

 EU R O 2 0 16
REVIEW
Clockwise from left: Portugal create
history; Gignac whacks the woodwork;
delight for Eder; devastation for both
Blaise Matuidi and Antoine Griezmann

THE FFT
AWARDS
PLAYER OF THE
TOURNAMENT
Antoine Griezmann: After
emerging from the bench to
nod home a late, late winner against
Albania, the pacy forward lit up Euro
2016 and ended up with the Golden
Boot, having been the first Frenchman
to net more than five goals at a single
finals since Michel Platini at Euro 1984.

YOUNG PLAYER OF
THE TOURNAMENT
Renato Sanches: The Bayern
Munich-bound midfielder
has proven why there was such great
interest in his signature after just 24
league outings for Benfica. Steadily
working his way into Fernando Santos’
starting XI, the 18-year-old will be his
country’s great hope for years to come.

GOAL OF THE
TOURNAMENT
Xherdan Shaqiri: Although
fellow stars Dimitri Payet,
Cristiano Ronaldo and Hal Robson-Kanu
gave him a run for his money, Shaqiri’s
overhead scissor-kick to (briefly) thwart
Poland took everyone’s breath away.

DEFINING MOMENT
Payet’s 89th-minute winner
against Romania was the
hosts’ Sliding Doors moment:
draw the opening match and Les Bleus
could crumble. Instead, the West Ham
playmaker’s magisterial strike set up
a tournament chock-full of late drama.

Sissoko realises dark suit-and-tie look is supposed to

show they mean business, as if they’re
in Pulp Fiction or something. ITV are
this is his last having none of it, and Ian Wright is
sporting a particularly garish blue shirt
chance to avoid alongside fellow pundits Roy Keane,
Ryan Giggs and Lee Dixon. Opinion is
playing in the divided on Twitter. “BBC pundits look
smart, ITV pundits look like tramps,”
asserts as Ronaldo rolls around in pain
following the tackle by Payet (below left, FFT TEAM OF THE TOURNAMENT
with Renato Sanches). Everyone is briefly
puzzled about how getting a mighty
whack in the knee is going to help, until Griezmann
Mowbray explains that it will fire up the
Portuguese ace, who presumably hadn’t
been at all bothered about winning
Euro 2016 up to that point. Sadly no
Perisic Ramsey Payet

Champio hi on ITV
s are
amount of motivation can overcome
the fact that he can’t actually move.
suits, Krychowiak Kroos
says MAGIC MOMENT
Sports Personality of . Witty. Eder scored precisely no goals in 15
pushing Gareth Bale appearances during a forgettable spell Guerreiro Kimmich
third place in the odd Y with Swansea before departing for Lille Bonucci Boateng
D in February. He hadn’t even been the
PUNDIT WATCH T?! best Eder at this tournament, outshone Buffon
BBC trio Alan Sheare ust by that little Brazilian bloke up front for
Thierry Henry and Rio s Italy, before he cuts inside and thumps Substitutes: McGovern, Chester, Pepe,
Ferdinand look like th BBC in a sensational winner. The celebrations Hector, B. Bjarnason, Blaszczykowski,
have come straight f ntator are understandably euphoric and will Pogba, Dzsudzsak, Özil, Ronaldo, Bale
a funeral – either tha owbray live long in Portuguese memories. Manager: Fernando Santos
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ONE-ON-ONE
Was he madder than Di Canio? Does he
regret going on strike at Forest? Why
does he not get on with Van Persie? And
could a cat really manage a football club?
YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED BY...
Pierre van Hooijdonk
Words Chris Flanagan Portraits Jill Jennings
“People in England think I’m a bad guy, an
a**hole, but I’m not,” Pierre van Hooijdonk
explains as he puts his crutches to one side
and sits down with a smile to chat to FFT.
The forward made plenty of headlines
during a sometimes controversial career –
his three-month strike at Nottingham Forest
remains one of the most infamous sagas in
Premier League history – but the former Dutch
Footballer of the Year is ready to tell his side
of the story when we meet at the WestCord
Fashion Hotel on the outskirts of Amsterdam.
The 46-year-old arrives with his foot in
plaster, having damaged ankle ligaments
playing amateur football a few days earlier,
but the striker-turned-television pundit is
as outspoken as ever. Indeed, he’s soon
pondering what would happen if all football
managers were eventually replaced by cats.
Dave Bassett beware, he’s not a fan...
Why did NAC Breda release you as a young
teenager, but then re-sign you at 21?
Martien, Breda
I was originally a midfielder, but when I was
14 they said that I wasn’t good enough for
them. That was hard. At that young age you
are living a dream and when they tell you it’s
over, you believe it’s over, because you expect
them to have the vision to say ‘good’ or ‘not
good’ about you. They were right, I wasn’t one
of the best midfielders. But when they signed
me again, I was a striker and scoring a lot of
goals. Going back to the team you supported
from childhood, the team who decided not to
continue with you, there is no better feeling.
36 August 2016 FourFourTwo.com
What was it like to make your Netherlands
debut while playing your club football with
what was a relatively unfashionable team?
Wim Nijsink, Rotterdam
I’m still the last player to be capped while
playing for NAC Breda. I came on for 15
minutes for the national team and I was
thinking: ‘I don’t mind if this is the last time,
I’ve been capped’. I could say: ‘Hey, have you
FACT FILE
Full name Petrus Ferdinand
van Hooijdonk
Date of birth 29/11/69
Height 6ft 4in Position Strik
Place of birth Steenbergen,
Clubs 1989-91 RBC Roosen
69 games (33 goals); 1991-9
Breda 115 (81); 1995-97 Ce
(56); 1997-99 Nottingham F
(41); 1999-00 Vitesse Arnh
(28); 2000-01 Benfica 35 (2
2001-03 Feyenoord 79 (62)
2003-05 Fenerbahce 63 (35
2005-06 NAC Breda 20 (8);
2006-07 Feyenoord 43 (8)
International
1994-2004 Netherlands 46
Playing honours Scottish C
English First Division 1998
UEFA Cup 2002; Turkish
Super Lig 2004, 2005; Dutc
Footballer of the Year 200
Below Thirty-four played for Holland?’ I was there almost like
goals fired Forest a fan thinking: ‘Look, there’s Bergkamp! There
to the First Division is De Boer!’ Clarence Seedorf made his debut
title in 1997-98, but in the same game. We shared a room and I’ll
he failed to kick on never forget him taking his clothes off to reveal
at the City Ground a physique that was unbelievable! I’d done so
much just to get a bit of muscle when I was
younger – I worked in a sports shop, and three
mornings a week I’d train at an army base
when the shop wasn’t busy. I said to Clarence:
‘Are you working out?’ He said: ‘Not at all’. He
was 17 and for him it was all just natural.
i you end up moving to Celtic in
d you know much about the club
ou arrived at Parkhead?
oth, Glasgow
o weeks after my Holland debut.
they could buy me then, because
n stamped as a national team player.
was how I was presented in Glasgow
y’d signed a Dutch international,
if he’d only played for 15 minutes.
now much about Celtic, but I played
as a kid and I had Celtic, because
was unusual. There were only seven
hough, because I always broke them.
dn’t won a trophy for six years
u arrived. Did you know what
when you popped up with the
goal in the Scottish Cup final?
milton
rrived they had just lost the League
against a First Division team (Raith
nd I was shocked by the standard.
I called Van Persie an a hole after
the World Cup. I said what I thought
at the time. It hasn’t changed”
 ONE-ON-ONE
Old Firm action
vs Rangers
in 1995-96
If we’d played NAC Breda, we’d have lost big
time. I scored my first goal nine minutes into
my debut against Hearts and it was one of
my best goals, so the fans felt: ‘OK, this guy
is a decent player’. Looking at the goal, they
probably thought I was the new Maradona!
There was big pressure on our Scottish Cup run
and in the final we played Airdrie, another First
Division team. Scoring the winner really made
me a fans’ favourite. People came up to me
cryi ho had gone through those six
That feeling was incredible
from then on we became
roper team. Within months
had a team that would
e hammered NAC Breda.
Cadete and yourself
Amigos during your
as the maddest?
lmarnock
People forget Andreas Thom, too. He was
calmer but he was one of the best players
I played with. Jorge was a pure striker - goals,
goals, goals. Sometimes they used to tell me:
‘get in the f***ing box’ because I wanted to
play with the ball at my feet, but when Jorge
arrived I played the same way and no one
noticed because he was there. Paolo was an
example for me. He went to the gym every
day before training, so I did too. He was
hilarious, too – he’d shave his pubic hair in
front of us all in the dressing room and we’d
be saying: ‘What are you doing?’. But he gave
the team a bit of arrogance. He was class.
ft Lifting the 1995 very soon. I wasn’t earning a lot, but I went
ottish Cup after there for the challenge. But after the cup goal
oring the winner and scoring a lot the year after, I didn’t hear
low Savouring anything. Eventually they said: ‘Yes, you can
omotion to the get more money if you extend your contract’.
mier League I said: ‘That’s not what we agreed’. After that
low left Di Canio they announced they’d doubled my wages.
ed a close shave It was a great bit of PR, but double was still
“A only half of what the best players were getting.
I just wanted to be up there where I belonged
– with Thom, Di Canio and Cadete. They put
me in the reserves to put pressure on me and
I asked Guus Hiddink: ‘What should I do?’ He
said he could only select me for the national
Andy Goram saved your penalty team if I was playing. This was 1997 and in
in the Old Firm match in 1996? 1998 it was the World Cup. I thought: ‘If I have
Stephen Mullan, via Facebook one chance of playing in a World Cup, it’s now’.
I missed some penalties in my career, If I hadn’t been in the national team, I would
that was one of the ones that mattere probably have stayed at Celtic longer. But my
in a season when we missed out on th aim was to play at the World Cup, and I did.
title even though we only lost one  
league game. I enjoyed the games Do you have any regrets about your
with Rangers, but the rivalry could go comment while at Celtic that ‘£7,000 is
a bit far. Once I was driving to the city enough for a homeless person, but not
from the training ground. I was at enough for a top-class footballer’?
some traffic lights and a teenager Stephen McIlroy, Greenock
opened my door and spat at me. I can explain. I had a column in a paper, where
I enjoyed it at Celtic, but I was an someone would call me and write it up into
easy target because you could a column. I wanted to make a comment to
always see me from a distance. explain to the supporters that I wasn’t talking
  about peanuts. I said: ‘OK, the offer they have
Would you have changed anything made is a lot of money for ordinary people, but
about your departure from Celtic? for a top Celtic player it isn’t, because people
Paul Donnelly, Valencia like Di Canio and Thom are paid more’. I’ll
No. I had an agreement when never forget when I woke up the next day,
I signed that if I did the business, I would always put Radio Clyde on and they
the club would knock on my door said: ‘After the break, news and sport, with

Van Hooijdonk talking about the homeless’.
I thought: ‘What?’ My wife asked me: ‘What
have you said?’ Then I realised it had come
from the column, even though I hadn’t said
that. I thought: ‘How can I defend myself from
this?’ I couldn’t do anything, I just had to take
it. I was stupid not to ask them to send the
column to me. That was my last column.
You scored 34 goals to help Nottingham
Forest to promotion in 1997-98. Was that
the best season of your career?
James, Nottingham
Not the best, but it was good. When I arrived
they were rock bottom of the Premier League.
We got relegated that season, but we hardly
lost any of the players. Anyone could have got
promotion with that team. Although some of
the stadiums were basic, for me it was football
culture. It gave me a good feeling going to
Stockport or Bury. Football-wise it was great,
but on the professional side I didn’t want to
play five-a-side all the time during training,
where the goalkeeper plays right wing and
the centre-half is in goal. I wanted to keep
improving. During the week you’re supposed
to learn and I didn’t really learn anything.
 
You played at the 1998 World Cup. Would
Holland have beaten Brazil in the semi-final
if the referee hadn’t been Ali Bujsaim?
Andre Dutra, Brazil
Yes, we should have been in the final. I came
on at 1-0 down with 15 minutes left. Patrick
Kluivert equalised and then in the last seconds
Wim Jonk put the ball across, I made a run
and 1,000 per cent I was going to get a free
header, but I was pulled. I heard the referee
blow the whistle and I thought: ‘Penalty!’, but
he gave me a yellow card for diving. I still have
a picture showing the foul. I scored against
South Korea in the group and that’s one of
those moments you treasure forever. It felt like
a present from God for the way I was playing
and training, but also for my social role in that
group because I am not an enemy of anybody.
 
You had the chance to become a Forest
legend, so why did you go on strike?
Paul Buttery, Valencia
Why? In December 1997 I had the opportunity
to go to PSV and I told [Dave] Bassett I wasn’t
“We did f*** all in training.
We became champions,
but so what? If all of the
managers were cats there
would still be a winner”
Top Happy days with satisfied with the whole setup. He said: ‘I can’t
Kevin Campbell and let you go, we want to get back to the Premier
Chris Bart-Williams League, you’re top goalscorer, I cannot defend
Above right “Smile, myself if I sell you’. I said: ‘OK but I want to go
Pierre, we’re going after the season.’ He said: ‘Get us back to the
to get on just fine” Premier League and we’ll let you go.’ The first
Below Van Hooijdonk time I got upset was when there was a story
was shocked by the in the newspaper that Newcastle wanted to
standard when he pay £7 million and Bassett said: ‘He can only
first joined Celtic go for £10m’. But £10m in 1997 was ridiculous,
that’s like trying to sell a cappuccino for £25 –
it’s for sale, but nobody will touch it. I realised
they were going to put me in the window like
they’d said, but they were going to put a price
tag on me that no one was going to pay. He
knew I didn’t want to be there, but he told
me something in a fake way. I spoke to [Forest
director] Irving Scholar, who I respected a lot,
and said: ‘It’s nothing to do with money, I’m
just not happy here’. We were doing f*** all in
training. People say we became
champions, but so what? If
you were to change all the
managers in the league for
cats, at the end of
the season there
ON E - ON - ON E
will still be one champion and three will get
relegated. Does that mean the cat who is
champion is fantastic and the three who got
relegated are sh*t? It’s about players as well.
Scholar said: ‘Let’s see, go to the World Cup’.
I did, but there was still no movement. I just
decided: ‘OK, if you hurt me, I hurt you’. I didn’t
want to hurt the fans, they didn’t create that
situation, but I wanted to make a point to the
people who were trying to take the p*ss. That’s
why I decided to stay home and train there.
With the benefit of hindsight, do you think
going on strike was a wise move?
Gerard Looker, via Twitter
Looking back, I should have waited until the
end of August. But would they have sold me
then? I don’t think so. People said I went on
strike because they sold some players – that
was another reason, but it was not the main
reason. People say players should be pleased
to play and get money, then they always use
the fans to say you should be happy to play
for people who have hardly got anything.
But it still doesn’t give you the right to screw
me around. I had no problem with the club
fining me two weeks’ wages every time that
I wasn’t there. I didn’t want to get paid for
doing nothing, but I wanted a solution to it all.
In the end I had to come back after agreeing
with Irving Scholar in Monaco that they would
sell me to a club for a fixed fee of £3.5m.
 
When you returned to Forest after the strike,
did you apologise to the rest of the team?
Nick Dosanjh, Abu Dhabi
Mainly the English players were talking in
the press, with some saying ‘he’s a disgrace’.
These were my friends until then. When I went
back into the Forest dressing room I spoke to
everyone and said: ‘Any questions?’ Only one
person said anything. Geoff Thomas said:
‘I disagree with what you did’. I said: ‘OK, you
disagree, but I have to think about my career’.
When I started playing again I gave everything
– but that [extra] five per cent you get when
you’re buzzing... it wasn’t on purpose but it
was missing. The heart wasn’t there any more.
Do you feel in any way responsible for
Dave Bassett’s sacking and Forest’s
ultimate relegation that season?
Alan Carroll, via Twitter
Would I have really made that much
difference, even if I’d played every game?
I’m not sure I would have done. He still says
that I’m responsible for him getting sacked but
I played a major role in getting him promotion.
I didn’t sign the players he signed that year,
FourFourTwo.com August 2016 39
 ONE-ON-ONE
because they weren’t good enough to help
him. With me on board, things were not
going dramatically better. I was sent off in
December and got a two-match suspension,
so the manager gave me Christmas off to go
home. Then when he got sacked he made out
like I’d gone home without permission, which
I hadn’t. He was a rat, a snake, and he still
keeps saying things about me. He is the worst
I’ve come across. People say he was successful
with Wimbledon, but he had decent players
and maybe he’s a good manager to manage
things. But he wasn’t a good coach. We never
had a game where we had a tactical accent on
attacking or defending, nothing. Just ‘enjoy it’.
 
What was it like to be coached by Jose
Mourinho in what was the Portuguese’s
first managerial job, at Benfica?
Nuno Silva, Sao Paulo
It was good, but it was completely different
to if you are coached by Mourinho now. At
that time he was just another coach. I had
a very good relationship with him. I’m not
going to say I expected him to have all the
success he’s had, but I recognised his methods
from working with Ronald Koeman and Louis
van Gaal, because they were all at Barcelona.
Mourinho gave the players a feeling that they
would die for him. Everybody liked him, even
in the short period of time that he was there.
There were elections at Benfica and the
president who brought in Mourinho, myself
and other players lost. The new president had
promised a different coach and Mourinho had
to go. I did too, even though I had scored 19
goals for them. They bought me for £3.5m
and sold me to Feyenoord for £800,000.
 
What would you say was the defining
moment of your career?
Lewis Andres Woo, Singapore
Winning the UEFA Cup with Feyenoord in 2002.
It was so unexpected. The
other three semi-finalist
that year were Borussia
Dortmund, AC Milan and
Inter - and normally you
would say that we were
not in the same class.
I scored two against
Rangers earlier in the
competition, which
of course gave me
satisfaction, and
40 August 2016 FourF
“Players I fell out with
will say I am not a nice
guy. But they can’t say
I was a bad professional”
in the 93rd minute against PSV in the last
eight. Then I scored two in the final against
Dortmund. Everything fell right that year.  Below RVP was
 
Fans in Turkey are known for being
particularly passionate – what was the
craziest thing that happened during your
two-season spell with Fenerbahce?
Andy, Croydon
The worst was after we played
Rizespor. There was a big rivalry
between Fenerbahce and
Trabzonspor. They really hated each
other, and after the game in Rize we
had to go by coach along the Black
Sea to the airport in Trabzon. There
was only a barrier between us and
the sea, it was dark, and suddenly
there was a noise and the coach
swerved. The driver stopped – there
was glass, bricks – but we continued,
then there was another brick. They
had to get police with shields to
sit by the window on every row of the bus.
 
You played with Robert Enke at Benfica
and Fenerbahce. How did you react to
the news of his suicide in 2009 (left)?
ecep, Istanbul
obert was my closest friend
hen I was at Benfica. We got
n really well, our wives too. H
as a very good goalkeeper an
nice guy. When I moved to
nerbahce we had a German
ach and he brought in Robert
e would drive in to training
ether. We lost the first game
he season 3-0 against
Istanbulspor and Robert didn’t look good for
two of the goals. Later that week I get a knock
on the door and Robert says: ‘I’m going back
to Germany, I’ll call and explain, but I need to
rush’. I asked the coach what had happened,
I thought it was because the fans were on his
back. The coach said he had mental problems
and I thought: ‘Yeah, right’. I thought it was an
excuse. In the time I knew him, I never saw
anything that made me think that he had
a problem. I saw him a couple of times after
he left Fenerbahce, then one day I turned on
the TV and saw the news. I couldn’t believe it.
I met his wife at a friendly match for him, and
I broke down in tears. I told her I never had
any idea. It scares me, I didn’t see it coming.
You played with Van Persie at Feyenoord,
why did you call him an a***hole last year?
Joe, Melton Mowbray
It was in a certain context, although I did say
it. At the World Cup I was doing TV analysis
and I thought he had a poor tournament; he
scored a great goal against Spain, but he never
played as well as he did when Manchester
United became champions [in 2012-13].
He presumably thought he’d had a great
tournament and later did an interview where
he slagged me off. I was asked about that,
and of course I didn’t like what he said, so
I said: ‘a***hole’. I was just saying what I was
thinking at that moment, but that hasn’t
Top left UEFA Cup changed since. It probably says more about
triumph in 2002 him than me. He was a fantastic talent at
Feyenoord and he realised he was already
“poor” in Brazil one of the best players at 18, but that does
Bottom PVH netted not mean that you can behave like you have
70 goals during two been the best player for several years.
spells with Feyenoord  
Do you think the perception many have
of you as a troublemaker is fair?
Ed, Nottingham
The people to answer that are
the ones who were in the dressing
room with me. Those who I fell out
with will say I’m not a nice guy,
but one thing they can never say
is that I was a bad professional.
I gave every club value for money.
All the ones who paid money for me
could look at the goals I scored and
say: ‘Not a bad ratio’. If players earn
a lot and do little, you feel you have
paid too much. But I don’t think
nyone could ever have said that about me.
o you have plans to become a manager?
an, Birmingham
had a couple of games as Hiddink’s assistant
ith the Turkish national team and I’ve done
y coaching licence. The only one I need to
o is the Pro Licence. But it’s not my time yet.
had the opportunity to join AZ Alkmaar as
sistant, when Marco van Basten went to the
ational team. I thought about it, but I do so
any nice things now. Do I want to give them
l up? My diary would be completely full.
Who would you like to see quizzed here?
And what question would you ask them?
Tweet us @FourFourTwo with #1on1
 




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 JOSE MOURINHO

“I’M OT
AFRAI OF THE
CONSE OF
MY DECISIONS”

These are the words inscribed on the inside of Jose’s wrist watch –
a credo that has delivered success and strife in equal measure.
The question now: will this inability to compromise make
or break Manchester United? Time to find out...

Words Andrew Murray

Additional reporting Marcus Alves, Andy Mitten, Alberto Santi

FourFourTwo.com August 2016 43


At 9.30am on Friday May 27, 2016, an
unemployed man found himself a new job.
Five minutes later he joined Instagram and
posted a picture of his contract. “Manchester
United Football Club Limited”, read the top of
the document, “and Jose Mario Dos Santos
Mourinho Felix. Service Agreement.”
Inside half an hour, the image had 11,600
likes on the image-sharing website and
Mourinho had more than 45,000 followers.
In his first interview about the job he has
long coveted, the Special One beamed like
a wolf handed the keys to the henhouse.
“I think it comes in the right moment of my
career, because Manchester United is one of
those clubs you really need to be prepared
for,” he smiled. “It’s a giant club and giant
clubs must be for the best managers and
I think that I’m ready for it. I’m happy, I’m
proud, I’m honoured, I’m everything.
“We can look at our club in two perspectives
– one is the past three years and one is the
history. I prefer to forget the past three years.”
In truth, he could have as easily been talking
about himself. In 2013, Mourinho had been
overlooked at Old Trafford in favour of David
Moyes. The former Everton manager, the
club felt, would help to bring some stability
after Sir Alex Ferguson’s retirement.
Seldom has the 53-year-old Portuguese
ever seemed so utterly defeated. In private he
cried, unable to believe that Ferguson – who
he had counted as a personal friend – would
champion another’s credentials. His Real
Madrid project was unravelling, the squad
and manager in open revolt. He became
“a hologram” according to one of Jose’s
assistants, May’s Copa del Rey final defeat
to Atletico Madrid barely registering on his
hitherto volcanic emotional Richter scale.
A soap opera, not just a guarantee of
success, now accompanies Mourinho. Once,
it would have been inconceivable for the
Portuguese to join a team without Champions
League football, who had just finished fifth,
44 August 2016 FourFourTwo.com
but – sacked six months after winning the
2014-15 Premier League with Chelsea amid
“palpable discord” in the dressing room –
he had relatively few credible alternatives.
If Mourinho wasn’t the right man three years
ago, how are things any different now? Backed
into a corner after stagnating under Moyes
and the turgid possession-for-its-own-sake
philosophy of Louis van Gaal, is this make or
break for United as well as Mourinho? Can he
build the legacy the Red Devils so badly want?
After all, you-know-who has just taken
his place on the other side of town…
“THERE USED TO BE A FEAR FACTOR IN
GOING TO OLD TRAFFORD – NOW TEAMS
ARE TAKING THE GAME TO MAN UNITED ”
Jose Mourinho is many things. Aggressive.
Pragmatic. Egotistical. However, there is one
description of the Portuguese’s psyche that
really resonates, something that any player,
manager or referee will recognise in an
instant: Jose Mourinho is a winner.
When his father, Felix, was sacked as
manager of Rio Ave on Christmas Day 1984,
months after securing promotion and a cup
final, the steel entered a young Jose’s soul.
No matter how well you do in life, it seemed,
people forget your glories and focus on the
present, without looking to the future.
Win enough games and trophies follow.
You keep your job. Pragmatic. Simple.
Even taking into account last season’s
FA Cup triumph, it’s something United have
not done enough of in recent seasons: put
simply, it’s become too easy to beat the
20-times English champions. Last season,
Bournemouth, Sunderland, Swansea, West
Brom and relegated Norwich, the latter at
Old Trafford, all took three points off United.
“There used to be a huge fear factor in
going there, and you just wanted to try and
get away with a draw,” explains the former
Stoke, Southampton and Sunderland defender
Danny Higginbotham. “More recently, teams
look to take the game to Man United. They
have become too focused on stopping the
opposition, rather than making the other
team worry about them, especially at home.
“They needed a new manager that’s
proven in the Premier League and has
won things. Mourinho ticks every box.”
The Portuguese himself certainly agrees.
“I want to win,” said the man who has
claimed more than 20 trophies as a coach,
including eight league titles in four different
countries and two Champions Leagues, at his
Old Trafford unveiling. “And more than that,
I need the players and supporters to feel that.”
The situation in which Mourinho finds
himself at United isn’t all that different to
his 2008 arrival at Inter Milan. Though the
Nerazzurri had won back-to-back Serie A titles
– helped in part by Juventus’s post-Calciopoli
disintegration – they hadn’t won the European
Cup since 1965. Europe’s elite no longer feared
a trip to the San Siro. The ship was listing.
In two seasons in Milan, Mourinho won
every major honour going, including an
unprecedented Treble in 2009-10 of Serie A,
the Coppa Italia and Champions League.

“Mourinho scares opponents by himself. My
God he’s a bad loser. He demands perfection”
“Mourinho scares opponents by himself,”
Julio Cesar (pictured top left), the Special One’s
first-choice keeper at Inter, tells FFT. “My God,
he’s a bad loser. He lives on the edge, so if
a player doesn’t have a strong personality,
he may suffer a drop-off in performance
because Mourinho demands perfection.
“He lives and breathes football 24 hours
a day, and the group ends up absorbing this.
Every player must follow that lead. Perhaps
this is the big secret behind all his titles.”
Part of Mourinho’s methodology is to
create a mystique around his club, the
theory – learned under Professor Manuel
Sergio while at university in Lisbon in the
mid-1980s – being that the less the
opposition knows, then the better
your chances of winning.
“He changed a lot of things
at Inter,” says former Nerazzurri
left-back Maxwell, “especially at our
training ground. He wanted more
privacy for us to work. That’s one
of the most important issues for
him. He wants every player to feel
comfort in our daily routine.”
Above Mourinho led Similarly, if he sees something that he
Inter to a Serie A, does not like, Mourinho will act. During
Italian Cup and pre-season preparations with Real Madrid
Champions League in 2011, he sacked every chef at the club.
Treble in 2010 Unhappy with the colour of the grass at Los
Below Manchester Blancos’ UCLA training base in California the
United managers, same summer, he demanded that all of the
past and present pitches be resurfaced, at great expense.
The key to Mourinho’s management style
is an understanding of the power of public
speaking, as well as psychology.
“That’s definitely one of his strong points,”
agrees Benni McCarthy, who won the 2004
Champions League under Mourinho at Porto.
“United should have gone for Mourinho
after Ferguson, he would have been the
best option in difficult circumstances.
Under Mourinho, players will have more
freedom, they’ll also help put the fear
factor back into opponents visiting
Old Trafford. That’s been lost.”
To re-establish that aura, the first
item on Mourinho’s agenda is the
defence. True, no team conceded
fewer than United’s 35 Premier
League goals last season, but this
JOSE MOURINHO
was principally down to the deposed Van
Gaal’s desire for dominating possession at the
expense of attacking intent. When the United
back four was put under any kind of concerted
pressure last term – think away at West Ham
towards the end of the campaign, a Marko
Arnautovic-inspired Stoke on Boxing Day
or conceding three times in the opening 20
minutes at Arsenal last October – it crumbled.
Individual mistakes cost United severely.
It was no surprise, then, that the highly rated
Villarreal central defender Eric Bailly was
Mourinho’s first signing. Strong, quick and
good in the air, the Ivorian possesses the
athleticism that Mourinho demands. With
further reinforcements set to follow, doubts
persist around the suitability of Daley Blind,
Matteo Darmian and Phil Jones.
What is certain is that many hours on the
Carrington training pitches will be dedicated
to defensive shape in the coming months.
His go-to system is the ‘low block’, where
the back four retreats to the edge of their own
penalty box, the midfield only pressing around
60 yards from goal. Mourinho subscribes to
the view that football is all about making the
fewest errors and that “whoever has the ball
is more likely to make a mistake”.
“Defence is the priority for Jose,” says former
Porto striker McCarthy. “Teams haven’t been
afraid to play against [Manchester United] like
they used to be. Even though United’s defence
didn’t concede so many goals last season, it
still looked very leaky and teams knew that
they would get chances against them.
“He wants his teams to be very disciplined.
It’s not all attack, attack, attack. He’s cautious,
but makes sure that opponents can’t break
you down easily. He’ll be very well prepared
on opponents, better than anyone.”
“FOOTBALL IS A RESULTS BUSINESS BUT
IT’S A CASE OF SUBSTANCE AND STYLE.
MOURINHO DELIVERS BOTH OF THEM ”
Preparation is where Mourinho really excels.
Meticulous in his research, there’s a plan for
each game. Individually tailored dossiers are
delivered to every member of the starting XI
to study, every eventuality considered.
He’s even capable of turning the opposition’s
greatest strength into its biggest weakness.
“David Silva is the main man, the creative
force for Manchester City,” says Higginbotham,
of Chelsea’s February 2014 visit to the Etihad
Stadium. “He was playing on the left wing,
with Branislav Ivanovic at right-back for
Chelsea. He had Petr Cech hit his goal-kicks
towards Silva for Ivanovic to win every header.
He knew that Silva wouldn’t track back, so he
probably wasn’t that surprised when it was
Ivanovic who scored the game’s only goal.”
The defensive masterclass served up by
Mourinho’s 10-man Inter Milan at the Camp
Nou to reach the 2010 Champions League
Final (at Barcelona’s expense) is proof of the
Special One’s nous, but there’s much more
to his teams than mere spoiling tactics.
“It’s a case of substance and style,” believes
Higginbotham. “When Chelsea won the league
in 2014-15, they’d scored as many goals as
Manchester City by January, playing some
FourFourTwo.com August 2016 45
 JOSE MOURINHO

“He adapts, of course, and at Real Madrid

great football. And in the second half of that
season, they ground out results, maintaining
a lead that they had established through style.
Football is a results business, he delivers both.”
It may not be very pretty, but it’s certainly
effective and which Manchester United fan
would not want to scratch what would be
a four-year league title itch next May?
“Coaching is about recognising the good
qualities of the opponents and recognising
the fragilities of the opponent,” said Mourinho
in April 2015, following a 1-0 victory for
Chelsea over his now employers. “It’s to
recognise the good qualities of my team –
and the bad qualities of my team. It’s very
important that we recognise our bad qualities.
“One of the secrets of good coaching is:
‘Can you hide your bad qualities from your
opponents and even from the pundits?’”
“IF YOU DON’T PLAY COUNTER-ATTACK
IT’S BECAUSE YOU ARE STUPID”
Perhaps the definitive representation of what
Mourinho’s style-and-substance method
can achieve came in 2011-12. In the previous
campaign, his Real Madrid side may only have
won the Copa del Rey to Barcelona’s Liga and
Champions League double, but that victory -
over Barça – made the Special One more
determined than ever that a solid, deep
defence allied to some devastating
counter-attacks was the way forward.
Mourinho is obsessed with transitions, in
particular how his team move the ball in the
five seconds immediately after winning it back.
“Mourinho is all about transitions – winning
the ball and going on the counter-attack,”
says former Barça midfielder Xavi, who has
faced Mourinho-led Chelsea, Real and Inter.
he played more with the ball against smaller
teams, but his best teams counter. Real with
[Angel] Di Maria and [Karim] Benzema, I’m
thinking about. It’s not how I see football – as
a coach, I’d be of the Guardiola or Luis Enrique
mould of wanting the ball – but I respect it.”
During Real Madrid’s 2011 pre-season,
Mourinho worked almost exclusively on
developing fast transitions, with his drills
repeated so they become automatic.
The back four move as one to close space
near their own box, then two touches in
midfield, a pass out wide, cross and shot at
Above left Hot shot goal. The alternative option would be to hit
Marcus Rashford will the centre-forward – in this case Benzema
“definitely benefit” or Gonzalo Higuain – early, open play out to
from working with the wing, cross and shoot. That season, Los
Jose, says ex-Porto Blancos swept to the title by nine points – they
star Benni McCarthy were top of the table for 31 of 38 matchdays,
Above right “Talk to scoring a record 121 goals in the process.
me again about ‘the Quick, simple, effective. For a manager
philosophy’, Louis?” determined to avoid risks and over-elaborate
the midfield play, it’s a ruthless system.
“If you don’t play counter-attack it’s because
you’re stupid,” said Mourinho after winning the
Premier League title with Chelsea in May 2015.
“Because counter-attack is a fantastic item of
football. It’s ammunition you have and use
when you find your opponent unbalanced.”
After a decade where Barcelona and Spain
have introduced tiki-taka to the football world,
the counter-attack is certainly back in vogue.

A HISTORY OF JOSE IN 28 BELLIGERENT BUST-UPS

Voyeurs, cats and the donkey who never became a horse - beware the raging Mou

SABRY MANUEL VILARINHO JESUALDO FERREIRA VITOR BAIA ALEX FERGUSON LIVERPOOL FANS ANDERS FRISK
NOVEMBER 2000 DECEMBER 2000 JANUARY 2002 SEPTEMBER 2002 FEBRUARY 2004 FEBRUARY 2005 MARCH 2005
After criticism from Benfica’s new chief Jose turns down a Shortly after taking Fergie refuses to Celebrates a goal in Claims he saw Barça
the midfielder seven had promised to Benfica return with the reins at Porto, shake Jose’s hand the Carling Cup final boss Frank Rijkaard
matches into his first bring back former Ferreira as his No.2, Mourinho drops after defeat by Porto. by pressing his finger enter the referee’s
managerial job, at coach Toni, so Jose later saying he’d had keeper Baia, then “I understand,” Jose to his lips in front of dressing room at
Benfica, Jose issues an ultimatum: more success in three suspends him sniped. “You’d be the Liverpool fans, half-time during a
lays into the either extend my years than Ferreira in after a training sad if your team who react furiously. Champions League
‘always contract or 30. “This is the story ground row. got dominated tie at Camp Nou,
offside’ I quit. No of a donkey who has “He wanted by opponents adding that he
Egyptian extension worked for 30 years to make a built on 10 ‘wasn’t surprised’
in a press was offered, but never became statement,” per cent of when Didier Drogba
conference. and so he quit. a horse,” he added. Baia said. the budget.” was later sent off.

46 August 2016 FourFourTwo.com

Leicester won the Premier League by exploiting
quick breaks from their electric forwards Jamie
Vardy and Riyad Mahrez, while Atletico Madrid
reached a second Champions League final in
just three years by knocking out Barcelona
and Pep Guardiola’s Bayern Munich, despite
enjoying less than 35 per cent possession
over four legs against Europe’s two best
exponents of the possession game.
“Mourinho gets pigeonholed for the way that
he plays, but there is nothing to back that up,”
says former Manchester United youth teamer
Higginbotham. “The amount of goals that
his Real Madrid, Porto and Chelsea teams
scored prove that to be wrong.
“We’re seeing a shift from possession-based
football back to the counter-attack. Last term,
one of the games where Man United recorded regular at Stamford Bridge, Inter or Real
the least amount of possession was the away Madrid. United themselves aren’t immune
game against Everton, and they won 3-0.” to such profligacy, but a club can surely
Crucially for United, still hungover from Louis only afford one mistake like Paul Pogba.
van Gaal’s possession-based trudge, parallels Such a connection between team and
exist between Mourinho’s approach and
Sir Alex Ferguson’s best teams. Wingers Ryan
“Developing youngsters, support, who will always cheer one of their
own, is vital to Manchester United. Early
Giggs and David Beckham underpinned the
1998-99 Treble-winning season, loading the giving them a chance, is rumours of a reunion between the new
manager and Zlatan Ibrahimovic don’t bode

part of the club at United”

bullets for Dwight Yorke and Andy Cole to fire.
Nine years later, Ferguson’s use of Wayne
Rooney as a roaming forward (alongside Carlos
Tevez and Cristiano Ronaldo) in the 2008
Champions League Final is just as interesting.
Mourinho is a huge admirer of the England
captain and spent the summer of 2013 trying
to persuade him to leave Old Trafford and join
Chelsea, “speaking more to Rooney than to his
wife”, according to an agent quoted in The
Secret World of Jose Mourinho, a book by
Spanish journalist Diego Torres on the
Portuguese’s three years at Real Madrid.
Rooney, it seems certain, will operate as
a deeper midfielder, as he did towards the end
of Van Gaal’s tenure and at Euro 2016. Further
forward, Mourinho could be the perfect coach
to provide the discipline and structure
Memphis Depay clearly needs to succeed at
Old Trafford in his second season – wide
forwards Cristiano Ronaldo, Eden Hazard, Di
Maria and Arjen Robben, when fit, have all
thrived under his management. Even Juan
Mata, viewed as a probable Mourinho casualty
as he was at Chelsea, could earn a clean slate.
“No one should be fearful of him, unless
they don’t do as they are told and keep
repeating mistakes,” says former Porto
forward McCarthy. “If you’re willing to learn
under Mourinho, then you’ll do very well.
Footballers like waking up in the morning
looking forward to training with him.
“Rooney, Anthony Martial and definitely
Marcus Rashford will benefit. People say he
doesn’t like young players, but I disagree
with that. We had so many young players
at Porto, youngsters who became great
players. At Madrid, Di Maria, Isco, Jese
and Raphael Varane were all young.”
Of all the criticisms levelled at Mourinho,
his lack of long-term vision and hitherto
unwillingness to promote from within are
perhaps uppermost in people’s minds. Van
Gaal gave first-team debuts to 15 academy
graduates in his two seasons at Old Trafford,
maintaining a truly remarkable statistic that
a homegrown player has appeared in every
United matchday squad since October 1937,
comfortably more than 3,000 games.
Mourinho, meanwhile, played a role in selling
talented Chelsea youngsters Romelu Lukaku
and Kevin De Bruyne, and has failed to nurture
a youth-team graduate into a first-team
well for Rashford’s continued development.
“I think it’s massively important that he
maintains it,” Luke Chadwick, an Old Trafford
academy graduate, who made 38 first-team
appearances in the early noughties, tells FFT.
Above Mourinho’s “It will be demanded of him. He’ll appreciate
a big admirer of wide the young talent at his disposal. If they are
players, like Beckham good enough, I think he’ll give them a chance.
Above right Two big “It was different at Chelsea and Real Madrid
personalities at Inter because that isn’t what those clubs are about.
Below Would Giggs But at United, developing young players and
have broken into the giving them a chance is a big part of the club.”
team under Jose?
AGE IS EVERYTHING
ere’s a very good reason why Manchester
ited chose Mourinho. He’s box office. His
me alone still holds immense caché and
n attract the best players in the world,
spite the club facing a second season in
ee without Champions League football.
he Manchester United brand is more
cial than ever before, with hundreds
commercial partners around the world
ntributing millions to the coffers. As such,
isn’t enough to just sign the best players,
but marketable assets, too. Like Zlatan.
“You’d love to see someone like [Gareth]
Bale,” says Chadwick. “Someone with that
ctric pace. United have always had people

ARSENE WENGER FRENCH FA SOUTH CENTRAL CRISTIANO RONALDO ROMAN ABRAMOVICH CLAUDIO RANIERI THE ITALIAN MEDIA
OCTOBER 2005 AUGUST 2006 AMBULANCE SERVICE APRIL 2007 SEPTEMBER 2007 AUGUST 2008 MARCH 2009
Calls the Frenchman Mourinho claims OCTOBER 2006 Jose says Ronaldo is His relationship with The newly appointed Accuses journalists
‘a voyeur’ who spends Claude Makelele Claims that Petr Cech ‘lying’ if he claims Chelsea’s owner Inter coach chooses of ‘intellectual
too much time is being treated had to wait half Man United aren’t deteriorates after to describe the prostitution’ after
talking about like ‘a slave’ by an hour for an favoured by disagreements about Juve manager they echo Luciano
Chelsea, after the federation. ambulance at refs, adding: transfers. Mourinho as ‘old and Spalletti’s view that
being irked France’s head Reading are “And if you departs the Blues. he has not Inter’s Mario Balotelli
by the coach Raymond rejected by lie you may even won dived in a draw with
Arsenal Domenech calls NHS chiefs, never reach anything’ Roma. Jose adds that
manager’s the terminology who say it the level - and he both Roma and Milan
comments ‘staggering and was seven which he later brands will finish the season
in the press. insulting’. minutes. aspires to.” him a ‘loser’. with ‘zero titles’.

FourFourTwo.com August 2016 47

 JOSE MOURINHO

like [Ryan] Giggs, [Andrei] Kanchelskis, those

sorts of players. You’d say the team lacks pace.
Rashford and Martial are quick, but a bit more
pace would be great. Bale is top of that list but
I can’t see him leaving Madrid any time soon.”
Crucially, Mourinho must integrate the new
arrivals into his team. When Van Gaal’s side

“He demands a lot of his players. It’s why he

took to the field for the 2016 FA Cup Final, only
three of his 15 signings for the club were in the
starting XI (Martial, Rojo and Daley Blind), and
this from a £250 million outlay. Mourinho’s eye
for a player is usually sound, but there have
been failures too, from Ricardo Quaresma at
Inter to Juan Cuadrado at Chelsea. United
fans demand a bit more value for their buck.
It isn’t just new arrivals that will occupy
Mourinho’s early thoughts: there are a number
of senior United players who the Special One
must ensure stay at Old Trafford. Michael
Carrick has already signed a one-year deal –
now 35, the former Tottenham man offers
a calm midfield influence – but Martial,
Chris Smalling and Ander Herrera won’t
stick around forever without improvements.
The big one, however – despite ongoing
tabloid talk of his private life – is David de Gea,
United’s player of the year for the last three
seasons. Last summer, only an errant fax
machine prevented the Spanish goalkeeper
from joining Real Madrid and the 25-year-old’s
camp were making noises about him leaving
were Van Gaal to remain. Mourinho must
ensure his best player, and cornerstone, stays.
The early signs are good. “United’s decision
to sign Mourinho is the right one,” De Gea told
Spanish radio before the start of Euro 2016.
“I think United needed a coach like him –
a winning coach with personality.”
loses the dressing room - they can’t handle it”
Above David de Gea Yet there’s more here than meets the eye:
applauded United’s De Gea and Mourinho are both represented by
decision to bring in super-agent Jorge Mendes’ Gestifute sports
the Special One agency, and at each of Mourinho’s previous
Above left Jorge clubs, there has always been a healthy
Mendes is likely to number of Gestifute players on the books.
become a familiar In his book on Mourinho, journalist Diego
face at Old Trafford Torres says that players and club officials
grew to resent Mendes’ omnipresence at
the Real Madrid training ground – frequently
watching from the office that overlooks
the club’s Valdebebas complex and joining
the players for breakfast on most mornings
– especially as other agents required passes
in order for them to access training. Mendes
players came to be called “los suyos” or
“theirs” by the non-Mendes faction.
The final straw allegedly came when
Mourinho demanded the signing of Hugo
Almeida, a journeyman striker and Mendes
player, who few believed to possess enough
quality to play for Los Blancos’ first team.
So does the Mendes and Mourinho
connection ever become a bit too much?
“No, Mourinho is the boss,” says Benni
McCarthy. “He tells Mendes which players
he wants. He’s the man to go and get the
players. If Mourinho wants to sign Ronaldo,
Mendes can probably go and get Ronaldo.
“Mourinho makes the decisions. His wife
is the only one who can challenge them!”
Under a transfer committee headed
by Michael Emenalo, Chelsea’s dealings
with Mendes became limited in Mourinho’s
second spell at Stamford Bridge, but the
decision to take a fading Radamel Falcao
on a season’s loan last season is the kind
of situation United will be keen to avoid.
James Rodriguez has the talent (and
marketing appeal) to also be a target,
yet any calls for full-back Fabio Coentrao
and others from the Gestifute stable to
join United will surely be resisted.
Perception, then, is very important for
Manchester United. Trophies at English
football’s most successful club can’t come
with the sort of win-at-all costs mentality
that Mourinho was afforded at Real Madrid.

MARCELLO LIPPI MUSLIM LEADERS MARIO BALOTELLI PEDRO LEON KARIM BENZEMA PEP GUARDIOLA TITO VILANOVA
AUGUST 2009 AUGUST 2009 MARCH 2010 SEPTEMBER 2010 JANUARY 2011 APRIL 2011 AUGUST 2011
“Would Fabio Capello Sparks fury after Axes Balotelli from Jose allegedly tells Drops Real Madrid’s Sent off in the first leg Pokes Barcelona
have responded with suggesting Sulley the Inter Milan squad the new recruit that only fit striker, having of the Champions assistant Vilanova
the name of a team? Muntari’s form has ahead of their crucial even if the Real already made it League semi, Jose in the eye during
Or Vicente del dipped because European match Madrid team clear that the suggests refs favour a touchline scuffle
Bosque? They are of fasting due away against plane crashes forward didn’t fit Barcelona. “One day at the Camp Nou in
too intelligent,” to Ramadan. Chelsea after and he’s the his system, I would like Josep Spanish Super Cup.
he says after “He should talk a row with the only player saying: “If Guardiola to
the Italy less,” explains young striker, remaining, I cannot win this
boss tips a Muslim who is said to he still hunt with a dog, competition
Juventus spokesman be ‘bitter’ at won’t then I’ll hunt properly,”
for the title. in Italy. the decision. play. with a cat.” he says.

48 August 2016 FourFourTwo.com

 JOSE MOURINHO

IS MOURINHO
Wherever the line is, Mourinho will either a Machiavellian operator where the end
cross it, or jump up and down on it until justifies the means. Even after the game,
it finally buckles of its own free will. he claimed not to know “this Pito Vilanova

THE RIGHT MAN?

“Mourinho is a superstar at using the
media to his advantage,” Corriere dello Sport
journalist Andrea Ramazzotti, who covered
Mourinho’s Inter from 2008 until 2010, tells
United fans tell us what they think FFT. “After Zlatan Ibrahimovic was sold to
Barcelona in 2009 he became more tense.
or whatever his name is”. ‘Pito’, as Jose was
well aware, is Spanish for ‘cock’.
“A United manager would not do what
he did to Vilanova,” Bobby Charlton, still
on the Red Devils’ board, said in December
2012, six months before overlooking Jose in

ANTHONY SHAW He needed to create a strong bond in the favour of David Moyes. “Mourinho is a really

YES
SEASO N TICKET HOLDER
“Alex Ferguson once claimed that Manchester
United’s manager needs to be the most important person at the
club, with complete control over his players and staff. Since he
stepped down, David Moyes and Louis van Gaal have both failed
to gain the control required: they sold established players and
then failed to get an effective contribution from their squad.
That will change with Mourinho. He’s achieved more in football
than the majority of the players and will immediately command
respect. They’ll be desperate to work for him. The same could
also be said for Ryan Giggs, but United couldn’t afford to take
such a risk with an unproven manager. He should prove himself
elsewhere, like Luis Enrique did at Roma and Celta Vigo prior to
managing Barcelona. Jose has craved this position for many
years: he’ll be willing to adapt and work relentlessly to succeed.”
EOIN DONAGHY
team so he looked for a common enemy
for the team to attack: the journalists.
“It began one day, talking about a lack of
trust. By the end of the season, he’d stopped
attending the press conferences and the
Nerazzurri had won everything.”
Nothing particularly untoward here. Not
until Mourinho and Ramazzotti got into
a fight by the Inter team bus in December
2009 following a 1-1 draw with Atalanta.
“A lot of water has gone under the bridge
since that little episode,” smiles Ramazzotti.
“All I can say is that those were very unique
days. I wasn’t in the mood for jokes or to be
messed around. He said that I became the
most famous Ramazzotti, after Eros, one of
Italy’s most famous singer-songwriters.”
It’s a world removed from the much
calmer character that United’s players
will come to experience every day.
“Mourinho with the media is totally different
good coach, but that’s as far as I’d go.”
The situation at United may have required
a change, but the rather stilted conversation
between Mourinho and Charlton at Carrington
at the former’s unveiling would indicate that
the latter’s stance may not have altered.
“The problem is,” one Gestifute executive
told Torres in his book, “that when things do
not go well for Mou, he doesn’t follow the
club’s line. He follows Jose’s line.”
The unseemly episode involving former
Chelsea doctor Eva Carneiro is a case in point.
It smacked of a diversionary tactic, intended
to distract from an uninspiring 2-2 draw at
home to Swansea, but blew up into a court
case for constructive dismissal because
Mourinho was too stubborn to apologise for
criticising an employee for doing their job.
Yet Mourinho’s willingness to settle the case
in June – and avoid text messages and emails
being made public – would indicate that he’s

NO
to the Mourinho with the players,” says former willing to rein in the personality and ego for
CONTRIBUTOR TO FANZINE Inter full-back Maxwell. “I wouldn’t say that the club he’s always wanted to manage.

UNITED WE STAND
“Mourinho’s not the man for me. I understood the concerns
about appointing Ryan Giggs, but I would have given it to him
anyway because I’m a dreamer. The rewards would have been
worth the risk. What was the point of grooming Giggs to be
Louis van Gaal’s successor and going on about a mythical
‘Man United Way’ if, when it came down to it, it all went
out of the window in favour of a short-term dividend?
What’s the worst that could have happened under our
greatest-ever player? We might have gone a few more years
without a league title, perhaps? Boo f***ing hoo. It’s only been
three years since the last one, not f***ing 23. Giggs as the
manager would have given us something pure – something
that was ours and ours only, not something bought off a shelf.
But here we are, sitting in the big top. Mourinho’s poisonous,
Machiavellian ways are our future now. So let’s get on with it.”
he’s arrogant, but when you face the cameras,
you have to find a way to protect yourself and
United suits would certainly hope so.
The Carneiro situation proved the beginning
he has his own way of doing that. of the end of his second Stamford Bridge
“He’s always having a laugh with his players. sojourn, because she was so well liked by the
When you carry so much responsibility, it is Chelsea squad. Mourinho lost the respect of
impossible to behave the same way when the dressing room. Fostering a siege mentality
answering tricky questions from reporters.” is critical to Mourinho’s man management,
To be accepted at Old Trafford, even if Sir and is why players so readily take to his
Alex Ferguson wasn’t backward about coming methods, especially in the early days.
forwards when criticising officials, Mourinho
must also soften his frequent diatribes and
accusations of conspiracies aimed at referees.
“Mourinho was the same at Porto,” says
Benni McCarthy. “But he’s right! Why should
refs get away with murder with costing teams
points? If a referee doesn’t do his job properly
then he should be criticised. If the referee has
a good game then Jose’s the first to applaud
him, but that doesn’t make headlines.” Courting controversy:
The Special One’s eye gouge of then United’s new boss loves
Barcelona assistant manager Tito Vilanova to create a siege mentality
during the 2011 Supercopa is indicative of

IKER CASILLAS PE PE ARSENE WENGER EDEN HAZARD SERGIO RAMOS DAVID LUIZ’S MUM RAFA BENITEZ
AUGUST 2011 MAY 2013 FEBRUARY 2014 MAY 2014 NOVEMBER 2014 MARCH 2015 JULY 2015
Casillas speaks with Pepe speaks out after The Portuguese Hazard appears to When Ramos slates When Luiz was sold Benitez is appointed
Barça captain Xavi Mourinho criticises responds to claims criticise Mou when Cesc Fabregas and to PSG, Jose indicated at Real Madrid and
and the duo vow to Casillas and says that that he ‘fears to fail’ he says Chelsea’s striker Diego Costa the Brazilian wouldn’t his wife says ‘we tidy
curb bad behaviour he regrets not signing by branding Wenger tactics leave him for pulling out of a be missed. Luiz scores up Mourinho’s
in El Clasico for the first-choice keeper ‘a specialist in failure’. doing things ‘all by Spain squad with to knock Chelsea messes’. Jose
good of both clubs Diego Lopez earlier. “Eight years without myself’. Jose retorts: injury, Mourinho out of Europe and hits back,
and Spain. Jose Jose’s response? silverware, that’s “He’s not the kind points out the the centre-back’s saying that
then sees this as “Pepe’s problem failure,” he says. “If of player ready to defender ‘is not mum takes to she should
a betrayal and has got a name - I do that in Chelsea, sacrifice himself 100 a doctor’ – the social media focus a lot
falls out with Raphael I leave and don’t per cent for the team pair fell out at to taunt his more on
his No.1. Varane.” ever come back.” and for his mates.” the Bernabeu. former boss. Rafa’s ‘diet’.

FourFourTwo.com August 2016 49


“He protects players,” says Benni McCarthy,
“all of whom suffer from pressure and nerves.
Players appreciate playing without a dark
cloud over their head because he’s gone to
war with the media for them. I hope that
I can have that ability when I manage.”
Mourinho also regularly takes his players
out individually to dinner, finding out more
about their families and including himself
in the minutiae of their daily lives.
To repair an already fracturing relationship
with his Real Madrid squad in the autumn of
2011, Mourinho organised a barbeque at his
house in Pozuelo, on Madrid’s plush outskirts,
to help clear the air. Nine months later, Los
Blancos were crowned Spanish champions.
His difference to the standoffish Louis van
Gaal couldn’t be greater. Orders had to be
followed on the Dutchman’s say so. Players
would open emails from Van Gaal on their
phones and then leave them idle for 20
minutes, so the tracker planted inside the
email would register that they had been
‘read’ for an adequate amount of time.
“Mourinho tries to take the maximum from
his players,” former Chelsea left-back Filipe
Luis told FFT earlier this year. “I think that’s
one of the reasons he loses the dressing room
sometimes. He asks so much of his players
that some can’t handle it for too long.”
The Brazilian lasted just a season in SW6
before returning to Atletico Madrid at the
beginning of 2015-16, finishing the season
as a Champions League runner-up.
Problems arise when players start to tire of
the constant mental demands Jose places on
them to overcome a perceived foe, from other
teams or managers, to journalists or referees.
“Maybe it can win matches for you, but
sometimes it’s not enough,” says Maxwell.
“Last season, Chelsea did much better under
Guus Hiddink because there’s so much stuff
that can motivate that another controversial
comment won’t make a difference.”
Some players feel cast aside by Mourinho’s
combative approach. “I felt I didn’t have any
kind of relationship with him,” former Inter
winger Kerlon, he of the seal dribble, tells FFT.
“It felt like he didn’t want me at Inter because
Filipe Luis (right)
left Chelsea after
one season
it was Roberto Mancini who had bought me.
I thought that I deserved the chance to prove
myself. He was always honest with me, but it’s
impossible not to become frustrated because
we all want to be playing football.”
Mourinho demands unswerving loyalty from
his players. If he doesn’t feel it, paranoia sets
in. At Real Madrid, he became convinced that
there was a mole in the dressing room who
was leaking both team line-ups and tactics
to the press, after correct predictions that
he would use Pepe in a midfield role during
a 1-1 draw with Barcelona in April 2011.
“His eyes started to mist up. I’d never seen
him in such an emotional state before,” wrote
Madrid’s reserve keeper Jerzy Dudek in his
autobiography. “‘Where is the rat? Who is it?
Maybe it is somebody who has played here the
longest? How can you destroy what we’ve been
working for all week? You screwed me over. But
you screwed yourselves and your families and
friends too. I will get to the f***ing source’.”
Dudek goes on to suggest that Mourinho
believed the mole to be goalkeeper Iker
Casillas, whose wife Sara Carbonero is
a high-profile TV presenter. By the end of
Mourinho’s three-year Real Madrid spell, his
relationship with Spain’s World Cup-winning
captain had irrevocably broken down.
MOURINHO VS GUARDIOLA: THE
RESUMPTION OF HOSTILITIES
In all of this, of course, there is an elephant
in the Mourinho room. Or city. He goes
by the name of Josep Guardiola Sala.
Once the former Barça boss had been
named as Manchester City’s new coach for
2016-17, there was an inevitability to Jose
rocking up just 20 minutes south-west of
the Etihad. The yang to Guardiola’s yin and
the Moriarty to the Catalan’s Sherlock. The
prospect of both in Manchester just fits.
The pair fell out after Barcelona promoted
Guardiola ahead of the Special One after
Pep’s solitary season as Barcelona B coach.
“Mourinho is a winner,” explained Man
City’s chief executive Ferran Soriano, who
as a vice-president at the Camp Nou giants
was privy to that 2008 decision, in his book
JOSE MOURINHO
THERE ARE
GOING TO BE
SOME CHANGES
AROUND HERE…
Michael Cox assesses the tactical
tweaks Mourinho will make at Old
Trafford: deep, disciplined, dynamic
1 U NIT ED W IL L PL AY M U C H DEEP ER
Jose Mourinho doesn’t park the bus every game, but United
will unquestionably play deeper than last season. Under Louis van
Gaal, they defended close to the halfway line and allowed space
in behind – which helped them achieve the joint-best defensive
record in last season’s Premier League. Mourinho will ask his team
T RA DIT IO NAL D EFEND ER S
Jose likes old-school, no-nonsense
defenders who concentrate on their
job – defending. It’s difficult to imagine
he will continue with Daley Blind (left)
at centre-back, preferring an aerially
dominant player. He’s also unlikely
to use converted wingers like Ashley
Young and Antonio Valencia as the
full-backs, because he requires players
who will tuck inside and offer close
T W O SE A RAT E SY ST EM S
Van Gaal may have sat with a tactics board on his lap, but he
rarely made game-changing strategic decisions. Mourinho, on the
other hand, always trains his players in two separate systems:
4-3-3 and 4-3-1-2 early in his career, now usually 4-3-3 and
4-2-3-1. He’s not afraid to make dramatic changes at an early
M O RE PU RPO SEFU L IN PO SSES S IO N
Mourinho doesn’t care about the possession statistics. He
just wants his players to attack quickly, before the opposition’s
midfield is in position to properly shield their defence. Sometimes
this is in the form of classic, speedy counter-attacking football,
but the same principle applies when Mourinho’s side regain
A SET T L ED S TAR T ING XI
Manchester United’s line-up was
often unpredictable under Van Gaal,
causing a lack of cohesion. Mourinho
avoids rotation – particularly in defence.
Going forward, he prefers to regularly
substitute key attackers 15 minutes
from full-time, rather than leaving them
out sporadically. In 2016-17, United’s
first choice line-up should be clear.
FourFourTwo.com August 2016 51
 Stories, interviews,
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PERFORMANCE to help you look like him
The Ball Doesn’t Go In By Chance, “but in
order to be a winner he guarantees a level
of tension that becomes a problem.”
Maxwell is one of the few to play for both.
“Guardiola and Mourinho have totally
different ways of thinking,” he says. “There
were no similarities between Barcelona and
Inter. I came from a counter-attack school,
where the main goal was not to lose games,
to one where we wanted to win in a beautiful
way and convince everyone we deserved it.
Then there were the Mourinho mind games.”
Guardiola has confessed to having “no good
memories” of the games between Mourinho’s
Madrid and his own Barcelona side, including
the four Clasicos in 18 days in 2011. Perhaps
the most memorable was Guardiola’s “Jose’s
the f***ing boss” press conference explosion
before that season’s Champions League
semi-final meeting between the clubs.
Even separated by hundreds of miles at
Chelsea and Bayern Munich, Mourinho still
couldn’t resist taking a swipe after his 2015
Premier League title win with the Blues. It

“Jose’s the boss. He makes the decisions. His

wasn’t difficult to spot the subtext when he
said he could never “go to a country where

wife is the only one who challenges them”

a kit man can be coach and win the title”.
These, though, are sentiments that the
Manchester United hierarchy would prefer
their new manager to keep buried, and
Mourinho is making the right early noises.
“For two years,” Mourinho has said, “Pep and
I were in a league where the champion would
be either me or him, Real Madrid or Barcelona.
“In a situation like this, individual fights
make sense because they can influence
things. In the Premier League, if I focus on
him and Manchester City, and he on me and
Manchester United, someone else is going
to win the league.” He has a point. For all
the blustering about referee and UEFA bias,
and the recommencement of hostilities
between Barça and Madrid players – which
had been all-but extinguished after the
2010 World Cup win – Mourinho only
won two of the pair’s 11 Clasicos.
The pair’s first meeting, scheduled
for Old Trafford in September, should
make for fascinating viewing.
The rivalry will be good for the
Premier League, as will a return to
the tete-a-tete between Manchester
United and Arsenal, given Mourinho
and Arsene Wenger’s frequent
attempts to out-pantomime each
other via the medium of handshakes.
Above left Passion “Everybody wants to see that with the
won’t be in short managers, it’s entertainment and the only
supply this season way you can get an advantage,” says Danny
Above Jose can’t Higginbotham. “Manchester has the two best
afford to fight with managers in world football going for the title,
Pep in the Prem... it’s going to be fantastic. Add Jurgen Klopp,
Below ...but other Antonio Conte and Mauricio Pochettino at
sparring partners Liverpool, Chelsea and Spurs into that and it’s
remain elsewhere going to make for a mouthwatering season.”
Ultimately, Manchester United have played
the only card available to them. Three years
ago, they were champions and, despite an
ageing squad, had a group of winners capable
of regularly challenging for major honours.
Worried by Mourinho’s tendency towards
the theatrical, they appointed first a safe
pair of hands (Moyes), and then the
owner of a phenomenal CV (Van Gaal).
In 2016, English football’s biggest
club needs the Special One to restore
its lost aura. The wolf has entered his
most coveted of chicken coops and
is licking his lips in anticipation.
“Mourinho’s always had great respect
for United,” says Benni McCarthy, who
was part of the team that knocked the Red
Devils out of the 2003-04 Champions League
at the last-16 stage, with the Portuguese’s
Old Trafford touchline dash announcing his
arrival on the world stage. “I’ll never forget
how he prepared and motivated us for that
game. People said it was impossible.
“This is the job he’s probably always wanted.
It’s the perfect job at the perfect time. Is he
the right man? 150 per cent, yes. If he’s not
the best in the world, he’s in the top three.”
“I am not afraid by the consequences of
my decisions,” reads the inscription on the
€20,000 sapphire crystal deLaCour watch
that seldom leaves Mourinho’s wrist. Maybe
not, but to succeed, the Special One will have
to soften that personal mantra and submit
his ego to Manchester United’s needs.
It took Ferguson 27 years to definitively reach
his stated aim of “knocking Liverpool off their
f***ing perch”. Mourinho won’t have anywhere
near as long to do the same to Pep, yet when
the unstoppable force meets the immovable
object, it’s often the object that’s left standing
once the force has blown itself out.

FourFourTwo.com August 2016 53

 THE
MANAGERS WHO
INVENTED
Words Chris Flanagan, Nick Moore
Illustrations Sergio Ingravalle

MODERN
Mourinho, Simeone, Pep... Big Sam:
none of them could have succeeded
without these trailblazing pioneers

FOOTBALL
MARCELO
BIELSA
THE PROMOTER OF
MODERN PRESSING
Few people have inspired quite as many of
the world’s current crop of top managers as
Marcelo Bielsa. “He’s the best coach the planet
currently has,” Pep Guardiola said in 2012.
Despite that tag, Bielsa’s honours list is
surprisingly threadbare – a couple of titles with
Newell’s Old Boys, another with Velez Sarsfield,
a gold medal as coach of Argentina’s Olympic
team in 2004, and that’s about it.
But it’s the way that Bielsa’s sides play the
game that has made him almost messianic.
A whole-hearted dedication to attack thanks
to an ambitious 3-3-3-1 formation was backed
up by an intense pressing strategy that has
since been adopted by managers from Diego
Simeone and Tata Martino to Jorge Sampaoli
and Mauricio Pochettino. Pressing had been
around long before Bielsa became a coach, but
never had it been used quite so aggressively
and persistently. “My football in defence is very
simple – we run all the time,” he once said.
Nicknamed El Loco, Bielsa has been known to
pace out pitch measurements before deciding
on his game plan. His 2015 was disappointing
– he resigned as Marseille boss after only one
year – but Chile’s Copa America win earlier that
summer was largely down to the tactics he
had implemented before stepping aside in
2011. It’s far from the only trophy triumph his
methods have inspired, one way or another.

FOLLOWING IN HIS FOOTSTEPS

Diego Simeone

54 August 2016 FourFourTwo.com

 PIONEERING MANAGERS

BRIAN
CLOUGH
THE ULTIMATE
MOTIVATOR
To say Cloughie was an unqualified success
as a motivator of men would be daft. This was
a manager, after all, whose opening gambit
at Leeds in July 1974 was to tell his players
that they should throw their medals in the bin
– a horrible miscalculation that helped earn
him the boot just 44 days later. Plenty of
squad members elsewhere, who he often
lambasted and occasionally punched, loathed
Clough just as much as the blazer-wearing
boardroom bores he perennially raged against.
But when he got things right, Clough’s
players would run through brick walls for him.
Bristling with a heady combination of wit,
intelligence, menace and northern football
savvy, his force of personality meant that he
became a gaffer-as-God: amid a desert of
stuffy bosses spouting clichés, he was an oasis
of cocksure brio. Clough told Forest fans that
he could walk on water. And they – and his
teams – loved him for it. A First Division title
and two European Cups simply proved it.
Clough knew how to make a team better
than the sum of its parts, and was never afraid
to field mavericks. His greatest skill was the
motivational “word in the ear”. Clough talked
average-looking players like John Robertson
into becoming world-beaters. “It was easy
working for him if you were committed,” said
his Forest skipper John McGovern. “He had
that knack of saying the right things in the
right way. And he was always right.”

FOLLOWING IN HIS FOOTSTEPS

Jose Mourinho

FourFourTwo.com August 2016 55

PIONEERING MANAGERS
MATT
In the sack-happy landscape of the Premier
League, it’s tough to comprehend the sheer
scale of the job Matt Busby was allowed to
BUSBY
do at Old Trafford between 1945 and 1969.
He was a revolutionary from the very start:
prior to the Second World War, managers
tended to have a limited role in the buying
and selling of players. However, Busby took
THE DYNASTY full control of both training and transfer policy,
spearheading a new generation of all-powerful
CREATOR
bosses – but none used that new oomph to
create a dynasty as impressive as Busby’s.
A former pit boy who was charm personified
and never forgot a name, Busby’s powers of
persuasion helped him lure the best young
prospects to Old Trafford, while his teacherly
56 August 2016 FourFourTwo.com
qualities helped him communicate with this
raw talent brilliantly. A focus on long-term
planning allowed him to hone three great
sides at a club that had been trophyless since
1911: the FA Cup winners of 1948, the Busby
Babes of the 1950s, and the post-Munich air
disaster European champions of 1968. Busby
was a visionary, too: in 1956 he went against
the wishes of the Football League and decided
that Manchester United should become the
first English club to take part in the European
Cup, which he believed was a key part of the
future of the sport. He wasn’t wrong.
FOLLOWING IN HIS FOOTSTEPS
Alex Ferguson
 PIONEERING MANAGERS

BELA RINUS
Appointed manager of Racing Santander in
1920, he introduced a short-passing game at

GUTTMANN a time when many clubs in Spain were playing

THE ORIGINAL SPECIAL ONE

Long before Jose Mourinho
came along, Guttmann was
writing the blueprint on how
to win trophies and then
spontaneously combust.
It was Guttmann who said ‘the
third season is fatal’, something that Mourinho
can identify with – he has still never lasted
longer than that in seven managerial stints.
Guttmann’s first league title as a manager
came in his native Hungary with Ujpest in 1939
but he departed soon afterwards, eventually
ending up in Romania with Ciocanul Bucharest,
where he insisted on being paid in vegetables
due to food shortages. He quit after a director
tried to interfere with team selection and later
fell out with Ferenc Puskas in a second spell
with Ujpest, moving on once more.
As manager of Milan, he guided the club
to the summit of Serie A, but was fired after
a dispute with the board. “I have been sacked
even though I am neither a criminal nor
a homosexual. Goodbye,” he announced,
bizarrely. In subsequent jobs, Guttmann made
sure he had a clause in his contract preventing
him from being sacked if his team were top.
He would win the Portuguese league title
with Porto before jumping ship to join Benfica,
where he signed Eusebio and won successive
European Cups in 1961 and 1962. His time at
the Estadio da Luz ended acrimoniously, after
three years, when he was refused a pay rise
and departed – stating that ‘not in a hundred
years from now will Benfica ever be European
champion’. The Eagles have reached eight
European finals since then, and been beaten
in every single one. The curse lives on.
FOLLOWING IN HIS FOOTSTEPS
Jose Mourinho
in a typical English kick-and-rush style, using
a 2-3-5 formation. Pentland adapted that
2-5-3, focusing on possession in midfield.
He later had two spells with Athletic Bilbao,
guiding them to their first two league titles.
He became known as ‘El Bombin’ because he
wore a bowler hat, which his players would
trample on as a way of celebrating victories.
Pentland’s Athletic side thrashed Barcelona
12-1 in 1931 – still the worst defeat in Barça’s
history – but the Camp Nou side would later
benefit hugely from the short-passing style he
brought to the country. Pentland’s tactics were
the seed from which tiki-taka eventually grew.
FOLLOWING IN HIS FOOTSTEPS
Pep Guardiola
HERBERT
CHAPMAN
THE MANAGER WHO
WANTED TO DO EVERYTHING
(INCLUDING PICK THE TEAM)
A man bubbling with more
ideas than a mad professor,
Chapman is regarded as one
of the great modernisers in
early English sport: so many
of his innovations ended up
becoming part of the game’s lexicon, he’s
virtually football’s equivalent of Shakespeare.
Most significantly, during a management
career that spanned Northampton Town,
Leeds City, Huddersfield Town and Arsenal
before his untimely death through illness at
55 in 1934, Chapman persuaded his boards
that it was he, and not they, who possessed
the requisite knowledge to pick the best 11
players for his team. It may seem obvious
now, but it was not until 1963 that FA suits
stopped selecting the England side.
MICHELS
THE KING OF
TOTAL FOOTBALL
Englishmen Jack Reynolds and Vic Buckingham
sowed the seeds of Totaalvoetbal in separate
spells in charge of Ajax, placing an emphasis
on possession, but it was their former player
Michels who brought the idea to fruition.
Michels replaced Buckingham as boss in
1965, his first task to avoid relegation. Within
a year, Ajax were Eredivisie champions.
The new man focused the team’s training
on ball-work even more than his predecessors
and developed a style of play so fluid that
each outfield player was capable of switching
position. Defenders could also play in attack
and forwards could be deployed at the back –
it was a revolutionary philosophy.
Michels won four titles in six years at Ajax,
guiding them to their first European Cup in
1971 before departing for Barcelona. He
implemented the same methods at the
Camp Nou, taking Johan Cruyff with him.
It was at the 1974 World Cup that the Total
Football tag was first used, after Michels took
charge of the Netherlands and led them to
the final in Munich. He would later return as
national team boss and win Euro 88.
FOLLOWING IN HIS FOOTSTEPS
Johan Cruyff

FRED That wasn’t all, though. Chapman is credited

with popularising the WM formation – a kind

PENTLAND of 3-2-2-3 system that allowed for effective

THE MAN WHO PAVED
THE WAY FOR TIKI-TAKA
Pentland’s career in football
started at Small Heath and
ended at Barrow, but in
between came 15 years
during which he totally
revolutionised Spanish football.
A five-time England international during his
playing days, Pentland’s first managerial post
was an unfortunate one – he took charge
of Germany’s Olympic team in 1914, only for
the First World War to break out. Interned in
a detention camp near Berlin, Pentland
became chairman of the camp’s football
association and formulated the tactical
ideology that he would later take to Spain.
counter-attacking – to thwart the new offside
rule. He got Arsenal’s reserves playing the
system, too, so that players could slide
seamlessly into the first team when required.
Chapman was the first boss to use a tactics
board – drawing a picture of the field on
a table top, meaning his players could
understand his instructions better – and he
also placed a previously unseen emphasis
on physical conditioning, disliking players who
drank or smoked. Chapman even changed the
name of the Tube station on Gillespie Road
to Arsenal, and advocated floodlights, white
balls, numbers on shirts and the idea of
a pan-European tournament years before
just about anyone else. What a guy.
FOLLOWING IN HIS FOOTSTEPS
Jimmy Hill
PIONEERING MANAGERS
VALERIY
LOBANOVSKYI
THE STATISTICIAN
There was one place that Andriy Shevchenko
really wanted to visit after netting the winning
penalty for Milan in the 2003 Champions
League Final. Soon, he was back in Kiev with
the trophy, placing it next to the statue of
the late Valeriy Lobanovskyi. “It was his big
dream,” Shevchenko said of his former
Dynamo Kiev boss. “He is not here, but I’m
so glad I’ve won it – and he won it, too.”
Unlike most statues, Lobanovskyi is not
depicted standing dominantly: instead he’s
sitting on a bench, deep in thought, analysing.
In a managerial career that ran from 1969 to
2001, he analysed football like no one before –
sending scouts to compile opposition reports
and bringing in a computer from Moscow to
keep performance stats on his own players.
“When I was a player it was difficult to
evaluate players,” Lobanovskyi explained.
“There were no videos, no real methods of
analysis. Today players know that the morning
after the game, a sheet of paper will be pinned
up showing all the figures. If a midfielder has
fulfilled 60 technical and tactical actions in the
course of the match, then he has not pulled
his weight. He is obliged to do 100 or more.”
Lobanovskyi combined his duties for club
and country during three spells in charge of
the USSR, guiding them to the final of Euro 88
in Munich. At club level, he won 12 league
titles and two UEFA Cup Winners’ Cups.
FOLLOWING IN HIS FOOTSTEPS
Sam Allardyce
JIMMY HOGAN
THE MAN WHO INSPIRED
THE MAGICAL MAGYARS
A kind of wandering football
shaman, Hogan had a direct
influence on several great
international sides. Best
known was the trailblazing
pass-and-move Hungary outfit
epitomised by Ferenc Puskas: following one of
the English game’s nadirs – the 6-3 defeat at
Wembley in 1953 by the Magical Magyars –
the president of the Hungarian FA famously
told journalists: “Jimmy Hogan taught us
everything we know”. The quiet Lancastrian
was long retired by that point, but Hungary
had perfected a style that he had devised.
During a spell with Budapest’s MTK, Hogan’s
insistence on versatility, fast running and
short passes on what he called “the carpet”
became ingrained in the national psyche.
He then repeated the feat in three other
countries. His talks during a tour of the
Netherlands in 1910 helped to shape Dutch
methods, while a spell in Germany was equally
powerful: when Hogan died, his son received
a letter calling him the “father of modern
football in Germany”. As a coach, he also
instilled his ideas into the 1930s Austrian
Wunderteam. Much to England’s detriment,
he was treated with suspicion by the FA.
FOLLOWING IN HIS FOOTSTEPS
Gusztav Sebes, Hungary coach, 1949-57
MIGUEL MUNOZ
THE SUCCESSFUL PLAYER
TURNED STAR MANAGER
How do you follow three
European Cups as a player
with Real Madrid? Step into
the dugout and win two
more as manager, of course.
Munoz was part of the Real
midfield for a decade from 1948, helping the
club to their first three European Cup triumphs
– or the Primera, Segunda and Tercera, as
they’d no doubt be called these days. His
transition to management was seamless:
after a brief apprenticeship with the reserves,
he took charge of the first team in 1959.
“It’s true, flowers come out of my backside,”
was how Munoz responded to those who
questioned his coaching credentials,
referencing
a popular
Spanish idiom.
Munoz inherited a talented but
ageing squad, transforming it to such
a degree that his 15-year reign produced
nine league titles, as well as the Cuarta and
the Quinta for good measure – Real beat
Eintracht Frankfurt 7-3 in the European Cup
final in his first season in charge, before
a comeback triumph over Partizan Belgrade
in 1966 that Munoz described as one of the
most extraordinary performances of the era.
Madridista Munoz became the first person
to win the European Cup as both a player
and coach, proving that it was possible to
graduate pretty much straight from the
football pitch to the manager’s hot seat.
FOLLOWING IN HIS FOOTSTEPS
Kenny Dalglish
HELENIO
HERRERA
THE HIGH PRIEST
OF CATENACCIO
Arguably the first superstar
manager, Herrera was the
man who turned the focus
away from the players and
on to the dugout. He did
so thanks to his ruthless
execution of catenaccio, or ‘the chain’.
An Argentine by birth, he claimed that he
invented the sweeper position during his
playing days in France, although that’s
disputed. What’s not disputed is that after
spells managing Atletico Madrid, Sevilla and
Barcelona, his tactical acumen developed
Inter Milan into a side that won three Serie A
titles and back-to-back European Cups.
Catenaccio was originally rolled out by
Padova boss Nereo Rocco in the 1950s, but
it was Herrera who perfected it and took it to
its greatest glory, removing a midfielder from
his team and adding a sweeper. For a period,
La Grande Inter were virtually invincible.
FOLLOWING IN HIS FOOTSTEPS
Giovanni Trapattoni
“Bobby, son, good to see you,” was Bill
Shankly’s greeting to Manchester United’s
greatest-ever player as he arrived at Anfield
for a fixture against Liverpool in 1967. “But by
God, if ever there was a man who looked ill, it’s
you, Bobby.” “Ill? I look ill?” Charlton replied.
“Aye, Bobby, you look like you’re sickening for
something. If I were you I’d see a doctor as
soon as you set foot back in Manchester.”
Minutes later, Matt Busby gave his United
squad some news. Charlton had pulled out
of the game. He’d suddenly been taken ill.
Shankly won three league titles as Liverpool
boss, guiding them from the Second Division
to a position in which they could start to
dominate at home and abroad. The Boot
Room, where staff would concoct the tactics
to outfox the opposition, played a key part.
So too did Shankly’s ability to psyche out
opponents with a variety of mind games.
The Scot changed Liverpool’s shorts and
socks from white to red, believing that an
all-red kit made the players appear taller,
and installed the famous ‘This Is Anfield’
sign in the tunnel to confront visiting teams.
Before another home game, also against
Manchester United, Shankly appeared in the
tunnel brandishing an orange ticket as the
visiting players arrived. “Guess what boys?”
he said. “I’ve had a go on the tickets that
give the time when the away team will
score. And it says here, in a fortnight!”
Liverpool won 2-0.

FOLLOWING IN HIS FOOTSTEPS

Alex Ferguson

FourFourTwo.com August 2016 59

M.O.D. VARDY
 FIVE-A-SIDE TEAMS

BOY
& THE OTHER
KICKABOUT
COLLEAGUES
Interviews Chris Flanagan, Alec Fenn

It’s Monday Night Football, bu know it. FFT meets the surgeons,
soldiers and coffee-shop workers who lock horns at their local Powerleague
FIVE-A-SIDE TEAMS
M.O.D. VARDY BOYS
ARMED FORCES
“Our team is a mixture of army, navy
and RAF personnel,” explains Jamie
Lee. “We’re all based in the Ministry
of Defence in Whitehall and we play
every Tuesday night in Docklands.
“The team name is because we have
taken inspiration from Jamie Vardy, even
though none of us are actually Leicester
fans. It’s a play on words with two WWE
wrestlers called the Hardy Boys, plus
we’ve added M.O.D. to our name now so
that people know we’re representing the
Ministry of Defence. There may well be
a bit of fear when opponents find out
they’re playing us. They tend to put that
extra bit of effort in, probably because
they know we’re all in the armed forces.
“The RAF guys are good in the air.
They play up front, so the clichés are
quite fitting. A guy called Tommy runs
the show for us and our goalkeeper is
nicknamed the Flying Potato – he’s not
in the RAF, he’s in the navy, but he’s
called that because he’s a bigger bloke,
Photography Richard Cannon
“Wedidn’tgofor shall we say. We play in red and white.
It’s actually the same kit as the Gibraltar
thecamouflage national team, but that’s a coincidence.
It’s just because we happened to be
kit,aswewould
scrolling through a website and that
was the only kit we could all agree on.
“We didn’t go for a camouflage kit,
struggletopick I don’t think that would really work.
We’d struggle to see each other, and it’d
eachotherout” probably end up like that Man United
game [at Southampton in 1996] when
they had to change shirts at half-time.”

FC BRAIN MUNICH
NEUROSURGEONS
“There’s a lot of pressure at work, so
it’s crucial to unwind,” says Ed Rice.
“When we play football there’s no
pressure, it’s just pure enjoyment.
“Our team is made up of players who
work in the neurosurgery department at
Leeds General Infirmary. Some people
can only make it every two or three
weeks because of the hours we work,
so we have a squad of about 15 players.
“We have doctors, physios and nurses
– and about six or seven of our squad
are people who can operate. People
sometimes do 24-hour solid on-call
Photography Nick Eagle
shifts, with operations throughout, so
occasionally colleagues will come down
and play football while they’re waiting
for an operation to start. The pitches are
only 10 minutes from the hospital, so if
you know that an operation isn’t going
to happen until 10pm, you can have
a game before you go and do the op.
“Our team name does refer to our
profession, but I don’t know whether our
FIVE-A-SIDE TEAMS
opponents realise that we are actually
a group of neurosurgeons. Do we have
a cerebral style of play? I don’t know,
we just go out and try not to get beat!
“When we started we were absolutely
terrible, but we’ve gradually improved
over time. We try to play as a team.
There isn’t one person who is the brains
of the team, as we’re all the brains –
we’re a neural network on the pitch.”
FourFourTwo.com August 2016 63
FIVE-A-SIDE TEAMS

ALWAYS THE RIVER

CASINO DEALERS
Photography Nick Eagle

“There are two stories behind the
team name,” explains Phil Denison.
“Firstly, most of the team are poker
dealers and in one five-card poker
game the final card is a river card.
Players hate it and they always say
it’s the one they lose their money
on the most, so we thought it would
make a good name. Ironically, one
of the casinos got shut down after
the floods last year so, again, the
river name seemed a good fit.
“Unsurprisingly we do like to gamble
blackjack and roulette dealers. There’s
a lot of extravagant personalities in the
squad – a lot of people are in the casino
business – and you can tell on the pitch!
“The ace in our pack is a guy called
Ethan. He’s been offered professional
contracts with two clubs in America but
decided to stay in England and study at
university here instead. He’s a midfielder
with electric pace, and he can get up
and down the pitch all game long.”

“Unsurprisingly
and play attacking football. Everyone
in the team wants to score and be the
hero. We’re very open and our mentality
is that we will outscore the opposition.
We have quite a big squad because
thisteamlikes
a lot of the players work shifts, so we
have to chop and change the team.
togamble.We
“I’m the manager of the poker side of
the casino and I’d say 50 per cent of the trytooutscore
the opposition”
squad are poker dealers. But we have
also got two bar staff and a couple of

64 August 2016 FourFourTwo.com


TEAM WOODS
“Our players all work at Mister
Woods coffee shops in North
Tyneside,” says Richard Clough.
“The business owner and myself
had the idea a couple of years ago
to put together a football team
so that staff could do something
socially. It’s great for a bit of
banter and becoming a real team.
“We’ll close the doors of the shops
at 5pm and then get down to the
Legendary five-a-side moments happen every day
at your local Lucozade Powerleague community
club. To be part of this, you can join a league or
play socially by visiting www.powerleague.co.uk
Photography Garrod Kirkwood
North Shields Soccerdome as quick
as we can to have a kickaround.
“Sometimes I wish I could have
a cup of coffee during the game to
keep me alert, but having a milky
coffee before the match never
works - it just jumbles up inside you.
“We’re all Newcastle fans, but we
don’t talk too much about that at
the moment, after how last season
went. Our owner Steven Smallwood
FIVE-A-SIDE TEAMS
COFFEE-SHOP
WORKERS
is our targetman - he’s nearing
50 and is very good for his age,
although he is my boss so I’d be
knackered if I didn’t say that! We
have got Torres, too – well, a guy
who used to look like Fernando
Torres before he grew his hair.
“We’ve done all right and we’re
in the Second Division, but I think
Alan Shearer’s safe. We’re not going
to be at that level any time soon!”
You’ve seen the clips
of England’s triumph
a thousand times, but
there are plenty of
other things about
the 1966 World Cup
that have long been
forgotten. FFT learns
the truth about the
iconic tournament
Words Simon Craft, Ian Passingham, Paul Simpson
 1
Call girls were put on hold
Inspector Leonard ‘Nipper’ Read was the World Cup’s
unsung hero. Fearing that foreign fans would be easy prey
for Soho’s villains, he formed a squad of 12 officers to warn
gangsters, pimps, pickpockets and prostitutes to behave,
and maintained blanket police coverage of London’s West
End throughout the finals. The strategy worked: reported
crimes fell by half during the World Cup. And Read’s next
assignment? Tackling gangsters Ronnie and Reggie Kray.

2
Another goal-line controversy
It’s 1966, and England beat West Germany at Wembley –
thanks to a linesman’s intervention. So far, so familiar. But
this was February 1966, and a pre-World Cup friendly. After
a disjointed performance – Three Lions boss Alf Ramsey
experimented and Nobby Stiles, wearing No.9, scored the
only goal (above) - England were booed off. Alfred Heiss
‘equalised’, but the ball rebounded from behind the line
and the linesman flagged instead for a corner-kick.

3 Ireland 5 Africa chose

almost to boycott the
qualified tournament
The Republic of Ireland could All of the African federation

4
have qualified – but the FAI nations boycotted qualifying,
agreed to stage a play-off tie in unhappy that the winners
Paris, rather than the UK, after from their zone would face
their opponents a play-off against the Asian
Spain offered to
hand over all the
Moore tried to zone winners for a place in the
tournament. South Korea also
quit West Ham
£25,000

gate receipts. In withdrew, leaving

front of a largely Australia and
Spanish crowd, Bobby Moore may have lifted the trophy as North Korea
Ireland were England’s skipper, but his build-up to the to contest
beaten 1-0, tournament was far from ideal. Moore asked a two-legged
with the FAI for a transfer from West Ham in April 1966, but play-off for
trousering boss Ron Greenwood refused to consider the the right to
£25,000. request, and replaced him as club captain. head to England.

FourFourTwo.com August 2016 67

 6
Aussies failed
to tie down
a finals place
9 Selecao prepared
well, played poorly
11
Brazil played 19 games in the three months
Australia were so confident of overcoming leading up to the finals, including four against
North Korea that they ordered 200 neckties Chile. The Brazilian FA withdrew clubs from the
emblazoned with ‘World Cup 1966’ and their
crest. However, they lost 6-1 and 3-1 at
Copa Libertadores and cancelled the league
play-offs so the Selecao could have more time
Swiss fan
a neutral venue in Phnom Penh, Cambodia. to prepare. They went out at the group stage. walked
from Zurich
10 Brazil employed A Swiss window cleaner pushed a pram
a bloke to read them decked out in his country’s colours and
the rules of football adorned with cowbells all 800 miles of
WORLD CUP 1966

WORLD CUP 1966

WORLD CUP 1966

WORLD CUP 1966

the way from Zurich to Sheffield, where

Brazil had quite the entourage in England –
they even brought an expert on the laws of
football. “Apart from 22 players, Brazil will be
bringing 15 varied technicians with them to
the World Cup,” the Daily Mirror reported,
“including a dentist, a cobbler, a storekeeper
and Flavio Iazetti, a professor of the laws of
the game. A dressing room lawyer, eh?”
Switzerland played their group games.
Emil Holliger’s journey (below) was not
rewarded with a successful World Cup
campaign, the Swiss side returning home
without gaining a single point. Undaunted,
he kept up his pram-pushing antics, even
releasing a promotional single for Hush
Puppies shoes called Miggel on the Road
to celebrate a subsequent walk to Lisbon.

7 North Korean
anthem silenced
North Korea’s qualification caused a diplomatic
headache as the country was not recognised
by the British government. One of the stamps
designed by the Post Office to commemorate
the tournament was banned by the Foreign
Office for featuring the North Korean flag, and
the playing of national anthems was cancelled
except for the opening match and the final.

No one put 8
their hat
on England
“England will not win the World Cup,” Jimmy
Hill declared before the finals. “But don’t
blame Alf. No one would win with this lot.”
Despite home advantage and the presence
of three truly great players – Gordon Banks,
Bobby Moore and Bobby Charlton – bookies
offered odds of 10-1 on England winning.

68 August 2016 FourFourTwo.com

12 Last-minute
ground work
Stadium improvements took place until the
last minute, after the government only agreed
a year beforehand to contribute £500,000. FA
secretary Denis Follows had warned: “Without
help, we couldn’t hope to do the sort of job for
spectators that was done in 1958 and 1962.”
13 The Boy Scouts
thwarted Uruguay
Uruguay’s plans ahead of the opening game
against England were thrown into chaos… by
a Boy Scout troop. The two-time World Cup
winners arrived at a local sports centre to
find a Scouts’ sports event in progress. They
had to work out back at their hotel instead.
14
Enid Blyton’s illustrator
designed the mascot
World Cup Willie, the first official World Cup mascot, was
designed by Reg Hoye, who had illustrated Enid Blyton’s
children’s books. Hoye drew four mascots – three lions
and a boy – and the FA selected the lion based loosely
on his son, who was called, appropriately enough, Leo.
15 England’s opener
did not even sell out
Although the tournament set a new record for
overall attendances, not all games sold out.
There were empty seats for England’s opening
match against Uruguay. The attendance was
officially 87,148, but The Times reported that
25,000 of the seats at the 100,000-capacity
Wembley Stadium were left unoccupied.
Testers
took pee 17
Bobby Moore and Jack Charlton made
history as the first England players to
be drug-tested at a World Cup. Uruguay’s
Nestor Goncalves and Omar Caetano were
also selected at random to give samples.
16
Brazil called
for ban on tea
Random drug tests were introduced for players
for the first time, with Brazilian official Carlos
Nascimento asking FIFA for clarification on
some of the new rules. “Our players drink an
awful lot of coffee,” he explained. “If we are
not allowed to drink coffee, then England
should be banned from drinking tea.”
18 Bulgaria had a 19 Argentina were
volleyball-playing, no fans of Welwyn
skiing full-back Garden City
Aleksandar Shalamanov played two games at
right-back for Bulgaria at the 1966 World Cup,
but his skills weren’t confined to football. He
competed in the 1960 Winter Olympics as an
Discovering they weren’t quite in the centre
of swinging London, Argentina’s players
spent 30 minutes outside the Homestead
Court Hotel arguing with coach Juan Carlos
alpine skier, and was a reserve for the national Lorenzo. Legend suggests the glimpse of
volleyball team in the 1964 Summer Games. a beautiful woman led them to check in.
20
No beds
for visiting
supporters
Local organisers in Sunderland had to
issue an emergency appeal for locals
willing to put up foreign fans after
being caught on the hop. Ticket sales
in the North East had been slow, but
a Sunderland organising committee
spokesman said on the eve of the
Italy-Chile group game at Roker Park:
“Hundreds of supporters have come
to the town hoping to pay at the gate.
Our list of people prepared to offer
them beds is totally inadequate.”
FourFourTwo.com August 2016 69
 23
Soviets all
had Napoleon
Solo haircuts
The Soviet Union wowed fans with their
football AND their haircuts. The squad were
given a pre-tournament trim at a Durham
barber’s shop and many opted for the look
sported by Man From U.N.C.L.E. character
Napoleon Solo, played by Robert Vaughn.
Barber Jack Brown said: “I don’t suppose
they’ve even heard of Napoleon Solo, but
the style suited some of them very well.”

21 Spain wouldn’t
drink local tap water
British holidaymakers know all about the perils
of ‘Spanish tummy’, but Spain manager Jose
Villalonga was more concerned about ‘English
belly’ when they pitched up in Birmingham.
West
Germany
24
He banned his players from drinking the local
tap water, explaining: “This is a precautionary
measure against potential stomach upsets.”
were
supposed
Only £4 to be rubbish
for the refs
While the players stayed in hotels, referees
22 West Germany were not favoured before the
tournament, with their odds at 28-1 after the
were put up in B&Bs with a daily allowance draw placed them in a group with Argentina,
of only £4. Cyril Jackson, of the English Switzerland and reigning European champions
Referees’ Association, claimed: “They are the Spain. Although they’d won the World Cup in
best referees in world football and should be 1954, a national professional league had only
treated royally while they’re in England, but been set up in 1963 and it was generally felt
this isn’t happening. It’s all very mean.” that Uwe Seeler and Karl-Heinz Schnellinger
(left) were their only world-class players.

25 Swiss trio were 26 Greyhounds

banned for driving
through Sheffield
Three Switzerland players were dropped for
their opening match against West Germany
after arriving late at their Sheffield hotel. The
trio – Kobi Kuhn, Leo Eichmann and Werner
Leimgruber – were banned by the Swiss FA
after taking an ‘unauthorised car ride with
two English girls’. Kuhn went on to manage
the national team from 2001 to 2008.
got priority over
the World Cup
Football may be more important than life
and death, but it’s not bigger than dog
racing. That was what Wembley’s owners
concluded, refusing to reschedule an
evening at the greyhounds on July 15 to
accommodate Uruguay vs France. On the
slightly less hallowed turf of White City
Stadium, the Uruguayans won 2-1.
27 Italy went on
a mattress spree
Italy were unhappy with their Durham County
School of Agriculture accommodation. After
one look at rooms usually used by students,
they headed to Newcastle to splash £1,000 on
furniture. They’d hoped to take their purchases
with them around the country, but as it turned
out, Italy didn’t make it out of their group.
Mexico had
28
a bullfighter
up front
Mexico striker Enrique Borja (right) played
in ’66 after turning his back on a career as
a bullfighter. Borja, 20, revealed before facing
England: “My father was a top bullfighter and
I fought them in the training ring, but decided
the horns were very dangerous. Football is less
dangerous, so I switched. Jackie Charlton is big
and strong like a bull, but I would still prefer to
face him than a bull. He has no horns!”
29 Hungary brought
only 18 players
Hungary came to England with only 18 players,
leaving four of their 22-man squad at home.
Their FA secretary, Gyorgi Hontl, said: “We find
that men who do not get a place in the side
begin to nag, so we cut down on the nagging
by making the party as small as possible.”
30 Italy pelted
with tomatoes
North Korea beat Italy 1-0 to dump the Azzurri
out of the tournament, and the Italian squad
were pelted with tomatoes upon their return
home. This was despite planning their arrival
sometime between midnight and dawn at an
unannounced airport (which turned out to be
Genoa). The fury was not confined to the fans
– a group of MPs demanded an explanation
from the Prime Minister for Italy’s exit.
31 The 20,246-word
report of a 0-0 draw
Birmingham Post Office staff took almost SIX
HOURS to send reporter Osvaldo Ardizzone’s
20,246-word match report on Argentina’s
ill-tempered 0-0 draw with West Germany by
cable to his Buenos Aires magazine. At a cost
of £1 a minute, the 20ft-long cable set the
bosses of El Grafico back a whopping £340.
Koreans were
33 plane angry
If things were going well on the
pitch for the North Koreans, they
were less happy off the field after
being kept awake by aircraft. The squad
stayed at the St George Hotel, near Darlington,
during the group stage and found themselves
only 300 yards away from Teesside Airport.
Spokesman Shin Ha-Taik complained: “The
noise from the aeroplanes is tremendous.”
34
32 The arrival of
Chollima Lightning
Atletico Madrid and Leicester City have got
North Korea’s ’66 coach Myung Rye-Hyun to
thank for their recent success. Myong created
a style dubbed Chollima Lightning Football
(named after a mythical horse that could run
at 1,000 miles an hour) based on speed,
position-swapping and attacking vigour.
Final not the
tournament’s
best match
Sorry England fans, the best match of the
1966 World Cup was not the final. Purists
raved over Hungary’s 3-1 group-stage defeat
of reigning champions Brazil, with journalist
Brian Glanville deeming it “among the best the
World Cup has produced”. It was dominated
by Florian Albert, who passed and moved with
brilliance and intelligence. As Hungary’s No.9
swigged water after full-time, the Goodison
Park crowd chanted “Al-bert! Al-bert!”
FourFourTwo.com August 2016 71
 38 The Union
Jack ruled
There was barely a St George’s Cross in sight
in 1966. Most England fans flew the Union
Jack, even though it also represented
Northern Ireland, Scotland and Wales. By
1990, it had begun to change: on England’s
tearful night in Turin, the two flags co-existed,
by Euro 96 the St George’s Cross dominated.
39 FA chief denied
reward money
FA chairman Joe Mears tried to claim the
£6,000 reward offered for finding the trophy
after it was stolen. Mears received a ransom
note and argued that since the trophy was
subsequently found, he deserved the money.
Mears’ claim was dismissed and the reward
went to David Corbett, Pickles’ owner (see 41).

35
Franchi
at centre of
blame game
Italy’s explanation for their poor performance
was unusual. Desperate to spread the blame,
coach Edmondo Fabbri insisted his players had
been drugged at the behest of Artemio Franchi,
40
who was plotting to oust federation president
Giuseppe Pasquale and who would give his
name to Fiorentina’s home stadium. Many
players signed statements backing Fabbri’s
‘Seen’ Connery met England
claims, although the wording was suspiciously
similar and some – notably Giacinto Facchetti In the Swinging Sixties, England manager Alf Ramsey was a throwback to the buttoned-up 1950s,
and Sandro Mazzola – eventually recanted. taking elocution lessons so he could speak in the polished, upper-middle class tones typified by the
It did not save Fabbri’s job, or his reputation. BBC’s ‘received pronunciation’. The transformation wasn’t entirely successful. On a visit to Pinewood
He later lamented: “I’ve had to go through Studios, England players cracked up when Ramsey introduced them to “Seen Connery”. He was
my whole life with the burden of Korea.” touchy about his accent. Believing that Bobby Moore and Jimmy Greaves were mocking it, he once
told a colleague: “We’ll win the World Cup without those b******s.” Well he was half right, at least.

36 No bonuses
for communists
North Korea’s reward for their win over Italy
was to be sent on a five-mile training run
41
before breakfast. Their FA chairman Kim Pickles strangled
Eung-Sir insisted there was no question of
the communist state paying them bonuses.
while chasing a cat
He said: “In our country they play for honour.
When we go home, perhaps the government We still don’t know who stole the World Cup
will then make them Merited Sportsmen.” from Westminster Hall on March 20, 1966.
Petty thief Edward Betchley, who demanded
a ransom for the trophy, was jailed for two
37 Record-breaking years for ‘being concerned in a larceny after

goalkeeper hit five the fact’ but insisted a mysterious associate

called The Pole had stolen it. Black and white
collie Pickles (left) found the trophy in a field
Mexico No.1 Antonio Carbajal set a record six miles away from Betchley’s home, and the
when he played their final game against dog later had to be given protection after an
Uruguay at Wembley – becoming the first anonymous caller phoned police to say Pickles
player to appear in five World Cups, breaking would be kidnapped. In 1967, Pickles strangled
his own record of four, achieved at Chile ’62. himself with his own lead, while chasing a cat.

72 August 2016 FourFourTwo.com

42 Man City hero’s
German mission
Bert Trautmann, the keeper who played the
1956 FA Cup Final with a broken neck while at
Manchester City, had retired by 1966 but acted
as official attaché to the West Germany squad.
43 Wingless
Wonders
had wingers
Ramsey’s ‘Wingless Wonders’ are part of 1966
legend. Yet England fielded a winger in every
group game: John Connelly (vs Uruguay), Terry
Paine (vs Mexico) and Ian Callaghan (vs France).
Alan Ball only stepped in from the knockouts.
44 Edu came, didn’t
play, went home
Brazil included 16-year-old Santos forward
Edu (right) in their squad. Had he made an
appearance, he’d have become the younges
player to feature in a World Cup match,
breaking the record set by Pele in 1958. In
the end, Edu failed to play a single minute.
45 TV audience
missed Portugal
vs North Korea
England against Argentina was the only
last-eight game broadcast live in Britain. All
four kicked off at the same time, so TV viewers
missed the drama of Portugal 5 North Korea 3.
46 Players told
not to smoke
Many teams banned tobacco, with FIFA’s
technical report noting that “players were
expected to cut down smoking”. Some balked
at this, not least 60-a-day Brazilian midfielder
Gerson, who liked a puff at half-time. The
Charltons enjoyed a smoke too, although
Bobby never lit up before training was finished.
47 The star sides
of ’62 struggled
None of the four semi-finalists from the 1962
World Cup made it further than the group
stage in 1966. Defending champions Brazil and
Chile suffered early exits, while Czechoslovakia
and Yugoslavia failed to qualify for the event.
48 Brazil boss didn’t
fancy going home
Brazil coach Vicente Feola dodged protests in
Rio over their group-stage exit by staying in
Europe... while his wife was under police guard.
The 56-year-old revealed he would watch the
knockout stages in England before travelling
on business. He said: “By that time I hope the
fuss will have died down. The authorities have
put a police guard on my wife and house.”
50
51 Taxpayers
funded Rattin’s
tooth treatment
Antonio Rattin, sent off in the quarter-final
against England, was only able to play in the
tournament at all after emergency dental
treatment on the NHS. The Boca Juniors star
gave Argentina a scare when he woke up with
toothache. A visit to a Birmingham dentist was
arranged... at the British taxpayers’ expense.
Last tournament
without subs
The 1966 World Cup was the last with no
substitutes, despite the Football League
allowing them during 1965-66. This meant an
injury effectively reduced a team to 10 men,
encouraging some countries to rough-up star
opponents - the most famous example being
Portugal’s battering of Brazil’s Pele (below).
52
49 France gaffer
didn’t scout the
opposing teams
Fifteen managers assessed their opponents,
sending observers to matches or watching
matches on television. The odd coach out,
FIFA’s technical committee noted, was
France’s Henri Guerin. After Les Bleus came
bottom of England’s group, he was forced
out by rebellious players and the media.
England fan’s
house burned as
he watched game
One man watching England’s
quarter-final against Argentina on TV
was ‘so engrossed that he did not
notice that his house was burning’,
The Times reported. Mr Bradley, of
Wiltshire, only became aware of the
danger when a neighbour burst in to
inform him that his roof was on fire.
53 South America
cried conspiracy
Many South Americans still maintain that
England only lifted the trophy thanks to
a conspiracy. In 2008, former FIFA chief
Joao Havelange said: “English referees
were used in the games between Brazil
and Portugal, and Brazil and Hungary.
The Germany vs Uruguay game had an
English ref and England vs Argentina had
a German ref. Isn’t this strange?” The aim,
the Brazilian Havelange maintained, was
to smash the dominance of Brazil, who
had won the previous two World Cups.
Referees weren’t kind to the South
Americans: Portuguese winger Morais
wasn’t even booked by English official
George McCabe for chopping down Pele.
The British Embassy in Mexico City received
bomb threats, while the staff at the British
ambassador’s residence in Montevideo had
to be saved from an angry mob by police.
54 Eusebio
gatecrashed
a wedding
Michael and Tina Taylor had some unexpected
guests at their wedding – the Portugal squad.
Eusebio & Co. were in the mood to celebrate
at Manchester’s Wilmslow Hotel after they
had knocked out Brazil when the couple held
their reception there. The players joined the
party and Eusebio even posed for some snaps.
FourFourTwo.com August 2016 73
55 Bloody Germans
Even back then footballers were accused of
play-acting – FIFA’s technical report noted “it
was asserted that some West German players
overdramatised injury from fouls”. That said,
Helmut Haller only collapsed against Uruguay
after his testicles had been “seized so fiercely
that they oozed blood after the game”.
56 No victory
stamps in
Scotland
To celebrate England’s glory,
12 million commemorative
stamps were sold in England
and Wales but not, to avoid
causing offence, initially in
Northern Ireland or Scotland.
57 The England
squad prepared
by playing cricket
England warmed up for their semi-final win
over Portugal with a game of cricket. Geoff
Hurst had almost quit football to become
a cricketer four years earlier, missing West
Ham’s tour of Africa to play for Essex seconds.
The squad prepared for the final by heading
down to the local putting green en masse.
58
WAGs left out
of the party
The England WAGs weren’t invited to FIFA’s
lavish post-final banquet in Kensington – they
had to make do with a party in another room
at the Royal Garden Hotel. In a less politically
correct age, the WAGs spent the night before
the final watching The Black and White Minstrel
Show at Westminster’s Victoria Palace Theatre.
59 Charltons’ dad
missed the semi
The Charlton brothers’ father didn’t watch
England’s semi-final win – because he was
at work. Coal miner Bobby Charlton Snr did
his shift in Ashington, Northumberland, as
normal on the night Jack and Bobby helped
the Three Lions beat Portugal. Bobby Snr,
given time off to see a TV re-run of the
match, did manage to get to the final.
60 Final was shown
in 59 countries
The final was screened live in 29 countries,
with another 30 buying the rights to show
delayed coverage. Lancashire County Cricket
Club took the unusual step of setting up TVs
at Old Trafford for fans who wanted to break
off from the Roses match against Yorkshire.
Beckenbauer
wasn’t the best
Who is German football’s greatest
61
ever sweeper? Sounds obvious:
Franz Beckenbauer. However, in
Germany, some argue that Willi
Schulz (right) surpassed the Kaiser
in this role. In 1966, West Germany
manager Helmut Schoen didn’t
trust Beckenbauer not to press
forward and played him instead
at right-half. It was Hamburg star
Schulz who shone in a position
that he had been given just
before the tournament started.
62 Taxman missed
out on final bonus
England’s players were paid £60 a game,
with a £1,000 bonus for winning the trophy.
Radox Bath Salts paid Bobby Moore £750
and Geoff Hurst £250. Justice Brightman
ruled the Radox payments were not taxable
because they were an “accolade rather
than remuneration for services rendered”.
63 Final heroes
were latecomers
England’s goalscorers in the final, Geoff
Hurst and Martin Peters, were both relative
newcomers to the England setup: neither
of them made their debuts until 1966.
Hurst gained his first cap in February,
while Peters did not feature until May.
64 Haller didn’t
steal Hurst’s
hat-trick ball
Let’s nail the canard that Helmut Ha
deliberately stole the ball with which
Hurst scored his final hat-trick. In Ge
the tradition that a player kept the b
scoring a hat-trick was unknown at the time.
65 Moore threw out
the well-wishers
With 30 minutes to go before the final kicked
off, Bobby Moore expected to get ready in
a quiet dressing room. Instead there were
around 100 people in England’s changing
space, mostly media and well-wishers. So
when the normally laid-back Moore started
losing his temper, the clear-out soon began.
66 Linesman gave
goal ‘for Stalingrad’
Tofiq Bahramov had no doubt the ball had
crossed the line for England’s controversial
third goal. When Swiss referee Gottfried
Dienst ran to the touchline, the Azerbaijani
linesman made it clear, primarily through
gestures – Dienst did not speak Russian or
Azerbaijani – that Geoff Hurst had scored.
He never changed his mind. Legend has it
that decades later Bahramov was asked
why he had given the goal and replied:
“Stalingrad”, referring to the Second World
War siege of the city by German forces.
‘66: The World Cup in Real Time,
published by Pitch Publishing,
is available in hardback and
in Kindle/ebook formats
FourFourTwo.com August 2016 74
   


 
 
  


  
 
 

    
  
   
UEFA A LICENCE

Words Alec Fenn Photography Leon Csernohlavek
Psychology, communication and coffee. Lots of
coffee. What actually happens on a UEFA coaching
course? FFT is invited back into the classroom as
current and ex-pros are put through their paces
CLASS OF 2016
T
he sound of boisterous teenage boys
and the barking voices of men grows
louder as FourFourTwo approaches an
11-a-side pitch on a bitter June morning.
Nearby, the occupants of two dugouts
huddle together for warmth: laughing and
exchanging stories like a pack of mischievous
school kids. But this isn’t a random bunch of
acne-ridden teens. Kevin Phillips and Luke
Chadwick look out from one of the shelters,
while Freddie Kanoute and Darren Powell
are interested spectators in the other.
It’s 9am on a Thursday and FFT is at the FA’s
St George’s Park headquarters for the sixth day
of a UEFA A Licence coaching course, finding
out exactly what’s required to become one
of the country’s next top managers.
A total of 82 current and former players are
here on an eight-day residential stay, but it’s
COACHING BADGES
no busman’s holiday. This coaching boot
camp will enable them to go and work at
any academy on the planet, and manage
at every level below the Premier League.
On the pitch, Fabrice Muamba and former
Burnley midfielder Wade Elliott are leading
a possession-based training session. The pair
are learning how a manager and coach work
together to conduct a practice in tandem.
They’ve been given a problem to solve. They
are only allowed to play on a limited area of
the pitch and will have fewer players at their
disposal than they’d first thought.
“It’s a simulation exercise based on what
would happen at a club,” says course director
Geoff Pike, who talks with the gusto of an East
End cabbie. “When I was a youth coach at
Leyton Orient, the first team would come over
after 20 minutes and take away two of my
FourFourTwo.com August 2016 77
 COACHING BADGES
players. We teach them to have a Plan B.
If they can solve the problem, their credibility
is then enhanced in the eyes of the players.”
At a cost of £6,055, the course isn’t cheap –
although the PFA picks up 50 per cent of the
tab for retired players and those still playing
the game. There’s a further 20 per cent
discount for FA Licensed Coaches’ Club
members – a free membership service
available to those taking their badges.
There are no shortcuts, though. All of the
participants must hold a UEFA B Licence
before applying. Each application is then
vetted by the course director, who assigns
places to those with the best credentials.
The intensity of the programme is relentless.
Most of the days run from 9am to 7.30pm –
the final session can often last until 9pm –
and combine practical work on the pitch
with theory sessions in the classroom.
For some, it’s been an eye-opener. “I’ve
never drunk so much coffee in my life,” jokes
former Sunderland striker Phillips, as the
players move inside for a mid-morning break.
He joined Derby County as a first-team coach
in September, having previously worked at
Leicester – largely under Nigel Pearson, who
has now followed him to the iPro Stadium.
“As a player you’re used to starting at 10
and finishing at 12,” Phillips adds. “As a coach
it’s 8am and you don’t finish until four or five.
It took a lot of getting used to, but I was lucky.
Nigel gave me a lot of leeway, as he knew
that I was going through a transition.”
It’s a working day that Jay Blackie would
happily swap. The Brighton and Hove Albion
women’s captain combines her playing career
with life as a high-school teacher.
“I’m normally up at 6.30am, I work in school
“It’s been brilliant learning
from eight to four, coach from six to eight and
then train from eight to 10,” she says. “I get off people who have won
titles and European Cups”
home at midnight and go straight to bed.”
She was meant to be on a women-only
course in February, but then had to defer
because of her playing season. This week is
her half-term break – the only time she can
fit the course into her packed schedule. Above Kevin Phillips, Former Manchester United youth team coach
Blackie is the only woman taking part in the Fabrice Muamba and Paul McGuinness is delivering a two-hour talk
programme. Unlike her male peers, there is no Freddie Kanoute in a room that’s been wallpapered with notes
financial help for those in the women’s game. compare notes and A3 posters covered in tactical annotations.
“I’ve had to pay for the full lot,” she continues. He shows pictures of Alex Ferguson playing
“Luckily my dad has been able to help me out.” games with academy players, and Danny
Opportunities are also slim. Only a handful of Welbeck and Marcus Rashford laughing on
managers in the women’s game are full-time, summer trips abroad during their early teens.
yet all coaches are still required to pass their “It’s important that young players have fun,”
A Licence before moving into a top job. he says. “Before training we’d put on a DVD of
Blackie and the rest of the George Best, Maradona or Ronaldo doing some
coaching tribe leave their coffee tricks and ask: ‘who wants to be Maradona?’
cups and go their separate ways. “We did a lot of work with Marcus Rashford.
Some head for classrooms, others He always wanted to be the No.10 and drop
back outside for coaching practice. deep, but we wanted him running in behind
FFT opts for the warmer option. because of his pace. We taught him to receive
 COACHING BADGES

the ball side on and burst past defenders.
However, we didn’t just tell him what to do.
We taught him that it was fun to score goals
and said that people would notice him a lot
more if he scored more goals. We want
coaches to have fun with players.”
But how much fun can coaches have, when
they have got mouths to feed and a mortgage
to pay? “There’s pressure to earn a living,” says
Morecambe’s manager, Jim Bentley. “I played
most of my career at League Two level and
I have to earn money to pay bills. You’re
always looking over your shoulder.”
After five years in charge of the Shrimps, he’s
already the fifth longest-serving manager in
English football. The average tenure is just 17
months. But having finished two places above
the fourth tier’s relegation zone last season,
he knows his future is far from certain.
“Hopefully I’ll move my way up the divisions,
but I may have to work in non-league at some
point,” the 40-year-old concedes. “Tactically
I need to get better and I want to be an
adaptable coach who can work with young
players as well as senior players, so this
course has been brilliant for that – it’s been
fascinating learning off people who have won
European Cups and Premier League titles.”
Lunch is a hot buffet served in a canteen,
where groups of coaches then discuss the
morning’s work. Much of the chitchat is about
how to get instructions across to players.
“The aim of the course is to get them
to understand the ‘how’ bit of coaching,”
Right A sticky says Pike. “How do you get your players to
situation for the understand what you want them to do?
prospective coaches All too often we see managers giving their
players too much information.”
Phillips weighs into the debate. “Working
with Claudio Ranieri was an eye opener,”
he says. “He’s got wonderful humour, he
understood English banter. In meetings he
would take stick and give it back. But the key
was that his instructions were so clear. Players
would come out of meetings and say to each
other: ‘I know what I’m doing on Saturday’.
I’ve been in a lot of dressing rooms where
players have come out feeling confused.”
Muamba remembers working with Arsene
Wenger at Arsenal. “He’d always give the
players the responsibility to find a solution,
rather than just giving the answer,” he says.
“It gave the players confidence and created
trust between them and the manager.”
FFT has clocked former Blackburn, Crystal
Palace and Bolton striker Matt Jansen slipping
out of a set of double doors. This afternoon
he’ll lead a coaching session in which he must
teach a defence which passes they can allow
the opposition to make and which they must
prevent. By the time we catch up with him,
he’s stood in the middle of a vast indoor pitch
wearing a headset like an aerobics instructor.
He’s being filmed, while two tutors stationed
on the touchline are monitoring his every
move and listening to every instruction.
Neil Bailey has been assigned as Jansen’s
tutor. After the eight-day course, he’ll visit him
in his club environment for a minimum of
a further 30 hours of one-to-one sessions.
All coaches will undergo the same process.
“It’s not an exam,” Bailey says. “In schools
we teach kids to pass exams, but that’s not
learning. We want to work with the coaches
while they’re on the job – that’s how you learn.
Once we think they’re competent in all areas
of the trade, they’ll get their certificate.”
Bailey says Jansen still has room for
improvement. “We’re looking at how he’s
organised the session, how he’s managed
the session, and his observation and
communication skills. Sometimes his
positioning prevents him from seeing
certain things, but we’ll work on that.”
According to Pike, it’s a common mistake
made by former players as they get used to
seeing the game from a coach’s perspective.
“I remember working with Dennis Wise on his
B Licence,” he recalls. “He was stood in the
centre circle doing a session, but he hadn’t
said a word to any of the players. After 10
minutes, I tapped him on the shoulder and
said: ‘Are you OK, Dennis?’ He said: ‘What the
f*** is going on?’ He’d only ever watched the
game from a player’s point of view.”
Jansen immediately watches his session
back on a large widescreen TV by the side of
the pitch. He’s also given a code by a member
of staff, which he can use to view the footage
on a laptop or the TV in his bedroom.
But can this blur of technology really help
prepare him for the harsh reality of working
in non-league football? It’s a world away from
the 38-year-old’s day-to-day existence. He
has spent the last 12 months in charge of
Conference North side Chorley, after being
promoted from assistant manager to replace
ex-Blackburn team-mate Garry Flitcroft.

T I M E TA B L E
9am PRACTICAL 10.30am BREAK 12.30pm LUNCH 3pm BREAK 6.30pm DINNER
FILMED SESSION
Fabrice Muamba and 11am THEORY 1.30pm PRACTICAL 3.30pm THEORY 7.15pm TUTOR
Wade Elliott (above) Talk from former Man FILMED SESSION Seminar discussing PEER GROUPS

O F T H E D AY
deliver practice on United youth coach Matt Jansen teaches how to use fitness Tutors watch the
defending against Paul McGuinness on a defence which work within training training sessions
a No.10. Limited creating a winning passes they can allow sessions. Coaches are back alongside the
number of players culture. Coaches gain and which they must given advice on using coaches and then
at coaches’ disposal understanding about prevent. Practice performance analysis provide feedback.
and small area of how players learn in monitored by tutor to communicate with
pitch available. a fun environment. and filmed for review. their players better. 7.30pm FINISH

FourFourTwo.com August 2016 79

 COACHING BADGES
“I fell into the job,” he says. “A course can’t
prepare you for it. When you lose a game as
a player, you’re a bit p***ed off. As a manager,
it ruins your week. The highs and lows are
more extreme – it’s like being bipolar.”
The mind is an area in which Jansen has an
edge over his coaching peers. Close to making
England’s squad for the 2002 World Cup, his
life was turned upside down that summer
after he was struck by a taxi while riding
a motorbike on holiday in Rome. He suffered
a brain injury that nearly cost him his life.
He made a full recovery, but was never quite
the same player again. “My confidence was
crushed,” Jansen remembers. “I went to see
brain specialists and kept complaining to the
doctor that I didn’t feel right, so they put me
in touch with a psychiatrist. Blackburn were
great with me. Graeme Souness was my
manager and he was supportive.”
Jansen believes his personal experiences
will prove far more valuable in shaping his
management style than any course. “The best
managers deal with individuals. Sam Allardyce
had sports psychologists to work with players.
You could have a beer with Terry Venables.
I can pass those lessons on to my players.”
Back inside, they’re working on a psychology
module, which aims to educate prospective
coaches on the mental side of the game.
A discussion has begun about how players are
motivated and the impact a coach’s words can
have on different personalities. The class are
again encouraged to share stories as part of
the learning process. Former Watford striker
Gifton Noel-Williams recalls a tale about
working with Tony Pulis at Stoke City.
“Psychologically he was brilliant,” he says.
“He’d whisper in my ear: ‘These centre-backs
are beating people up, they’re going to beat
you up’. Then he’d be telling Ade Akinbiyi:
‘I’ve heard that they’re saying you can’t run
any more’. It stewed in our heads.”
The group are also taught different ways to
communicate. Head of performance analysis
Laura Seth explains the importance of using
video to illustrate points to an entire squad
before a game, or to certain individuals on
the training ground using a tablet.
“At big clubs, coaches will have one, two
or even three analysts, but lower down the
pyramid some managers will be the analyst,”
says Seth. “Using video and specific stats can
help to accelerate the learning of players.”
80 August 2016 FourFourTwo.com
“In schools, we teach kids
to pass exams. But that is
not the best way to learn”
With England, Seth and her team use an
online platform called Replay Analysis. Player
clips from training and games, opposition
footage and match highlights are uploaded,
which the national side can then access via
a phone or laptop. Players and staff can then
chat about them using a comments tool.
The final talk of the day focuses on fitness.
The session informs the coaches how to
design sessions that will improve player
health while also avoiding injury.
“If a manager prefers a pressing gam
[Jurgen] Klopp at Liverpool, the training
to focus on short, sharp sprints,” says th
performance expert Matt Portas. “It’s m
more physically demanding than, for e
a counter-attacking style like Atletico M
The coaches must learn how to base th
training around the system they use.”
Noel-Williams is keen to know more.
He came through Watford’s youth
system – where he now works as
a coach with the club’s community
trust – before playing alongside Michae
Owen for England’s Under-18 side. But
he developed rheumatoid arthritis in
multiple joints in his body after sufferin
a broken kneecap. In one bizarre twist,
former Hornets chairman Elton John pa
for him to try a course of pills he’d come
across in America in a bid to save his career.
He was eventually forced to retire aged 30.
“Some people look at my career and think
I was one of those guys who didn’t work hard
and wasted his talent,” he says. “A doctor told
me to retire when I was 19 - he said I’d be
crippled by 40 if I carried on. I laughed at him.
“[Former Watford boss] Gianluca Vialli used
to call me lazy and scared. He accused me of
not wanting to play. I could run around for 90
minutes, but then I couldn’t train for a week.
He thought I was pulling a fast one.”
There’s homework to do at the end of a long
day. To measure their understanding of the
afternoon’s work, the coaches are required to
put together a two-week training programme
back at their clubs. Psychology, performance
analysis and fitness techniques must be
embedded within their coaching sessions.
They must then deliver a presentation
explaining their work to their tutors.
As the coaches file out of the room, FFT
wonders what will be next for the class of
2016 once they’ve passed the course. Not
all of them harbour ambitions of one day
gracing Premier League dugouts.
Much like during his playing days, Freddie
Kanoute is in no rush. He currently runs two
academies – one in Abu Dhabi where he now
lives, and another in his homeland of Mali.
“I’m in no hurry to be a coach,” he muses.
“This course was more to expand my personal
knowledge. I wanted to know how to work
better with my academy coaches. The biggest
lesson has been getting all of my players to
understand what I want them to do.”
Luke Chadwick, who at 35 still has the look
of a university student in his baggy Cambridge
United tracksuit, was recently appointed the
club’s foundation-phase lead coach. The role
will see him monitor the development of the
Top Matt Jansen club’s young players up to the Under-12 group.
reviews (left) and “I want to work with young players,” he says.
delivers his session “I’m not a very confident person and I thought
Above The coaches that would hold me back in coaching, but this
listen and learn experience has dragged me out of my comfort
Below Luke Chadwick: zone and given me a lot of belief in myself.”
increased self-belief On Monday, Jay Blackie will start a new term
at Blatchington Mill School and Sixth Form
College, but sees her future in management.
do it full-time once I’ve finished
on’t want to balance jobs, I want
operly. The course has been a great
e – the biggest thing has been
om other people’s stories.”
liams is the last to leave. Like his
ill be eligible to take his Pro Licence
passed the course. Completing the
ualification would make him eligible
anage in the Premier League. But he
s there’s a long road ahead.
here aren’t many jobs available and
re aren’t many black managers in
game today, but people like Chris
ghton and Chris Powell have shown
t if you’re good enough, you’ll get
hance. I want to manage at the very
If I have to go abroad, I’m willing
o it. I want to break the rules!”
t that what school’s all about?
 HOORAY FOR 4-4-2 *
Football’s classic system was starting to become something of a tactical
relic – now it’s enjoying a resurgence thanks to Atletico Madrid, Leicester
City & Co. Why did it go out of fashion? And what’s brought it back?
Words Louis Massarella
*(the formation, not the magazine, although hooray for us too)
RETURN OF 4-4-2
 o sooner had England crashed out
of the 2010 World Cup than the
obituaries were being written. “The
tournament has proved conclusively
that 4-4-2 is dead,” said pundit
Robbie Savage. “You can expect to
see lots of 4-2-3-1 in the Premier
League and Championship this season.”
And indeed he was right. This magazine’s
namesake had become increasingly rare in
English football, if not extinct. And when
national team manager Roy Hodgson did flirt,
briefly, with the formation in a friendly against
the Republic of Ireland in May 2013, Gary
Lineker used Twitter to bemoan “a step back
to the dark ages of two lines of four”.
The irony that both of those critics were
former Leicester City stars won’t be lost on
anyone. Playing what, on paper, was the most
conventional of 4-4-2s, the Foxes swept to
their maiden Premier League title last term,
confounding critics, making a mockery of
bookmakers and flummoxing opponents.
And it wasn’t just Claudio Ranieri’s team.
Atletico Madrid pushed Barcelona and
Real Madrid all the way in La Liga and the
Champions League respectively playing 4-4-2,
while Bayer Leverkusen, Burnley, West Ham
and Watford were among the other teams
to achieve success with its deployment.
84 August 2016 FourFourTwo.com
Above N’Golo Kante So why the sudden resurgence of a system
often seems to be in that had seemed to have fallen forever out
two places at once of favour? How does it work in the modern
Below Victor Maslov: game? And is it really even 4-4-2 anyway?
the father of 4-4-2 FourFourTwo (who else?) has the answers.
And we’re not biased, honest…
IMPRESSING WITH PRESSING
Like all formations, 4-4-2 wasn’t invented,
it evolved. Positionally, it was a variation on
the 4-2-4, which was perfected by Brazil in
1970. But whereas Mario Zagallo’s team was
largely about individuals – with two of the
greatest wingers of all-time and Pele in the
No.10 shirt, Brazil probably could have won
the World Cup playing any formation – the
new 4-4-2 was about the collective. About
using defence as a form of attack. And most
of all, it was about one word: pressing.
Pioneered by Victor Maslov at Dynamo Kiev
in the late 1960s, 4-4-2 relied on increased
fitness levels – helped by improved nutrition
and more sophisticated training methods –
to deny the opposing team space, with the
wide forwards becoming midfielders and
expected to defend as well as attack.
No system can be all conquering without
fluidity, though. It was this that enabled Arrigo
Sacchi to take 4-4-2 to another level with his
Milan side in the ’80s. As well as compressing
space by ensuring that the distance between
his defensive and forward lines was never
more than 25 metres, the Italian encouraged
his players to interchange positions – if Franco
Baresi stepped out from the back, one of the
midfielders would drop in. If Marco van Basten
pulled wide right, Roberto Donadoni would
appear at centre forward. The result was
European Cup wins in 1989 and 1990.
Denied European football by the ban on
English clubs following the Heysel Stadium
disaster, Liverpool in the late ’80s did a more
than passable impression of Sacchi’s Milan,
with Ian Rush leading the pressing from
the front. “It’s like the continentals,” said
John Barnes at the time. “Alan Hansen can
go past me, and I’ll take his position.”
But English football became synonymous
with a more rigid 4-4-2, akin to the one Barnes
played in for England. “Here,” said the winger
at Italia 90, “if Chris [Waddle] comes off the
line, or I come off the line, and no one goes
into that position, if the full-back doesn’t
come, then the marker’s free. [With Liverpool]
you’re not caught short anywhere.”
Often playing with two wingers and two
out-and-out strikers, British teams were,
indeed, often “caught short”, particularly at
international level or when they returned to
club competition in Europe. The last World Cup

“You can make a formation look as simple
or as complicated as you like. It won’t work
if the players are unable to implement it”
or European Championship to be won by
a team playing 4-4-2 was in 1994, when Brazil
beat Sacchi’s Italy. In raging heat and with
less time to work with his players than at club
level, the Italian’s fluid pressing game was
always going to struggle. But, precipitated by
changes in the offside laws, 4-4-2 was already
going out of fashion by then anyway.
A tactically flexible Terry Venables enjoyed
some success with the formation at Euro 96,
while Alex Ferguson’s Manchester United won
the 1999 Champions League playing 4-4-2 –
although the Scotsman always denied it.
With Dwight Yorke and Paul Scholes able to
interchange, Andy Cole often pulling left and
sundry other nuances, you can see why.
In fact, despite experimenting with a version
of 4-2-3-1 prior to the tournament, only after
their embarrassing exit at the 2010 World Cup
in South Africa did England follow the rest of
the world, and most of the Premier League,
Above Try telling this and give in to the obsession with ‘not getting
lot that 4-4-2 is dull outnumbered in midfield’. We hate to admit
and predictable it, but Robbie Savage had hit the nail on the
Below “Pace and head: 4-4-2, as we knew it, was dead.
athleticism are key,”
says Gary Rowett 4-4-2 IS DEAD. LONG LIVE 4-4-2
So why has 4-4-2 risen from the grave? Sean
Dyche thinks he has the answer. “Five years
back, everyone thought we should all play like
Barcelona,” said the Burnley manager, whose
team won the Championship title last season
ou’ve guessed it, 4-4-2. “If you take
a on at their own game, what do you
happen? You ain’t going to win.”
became obsessed with dominating
n, partly because, as the late Johan
t it, with 4-4-2 “the numbers don’t
p”. Against systems that encouraged
ssing triangles, such as Cruyff’s 4-3-3
and the 21st century’s favourite,
4-2-3-1, players in a 4-4-2 could
RETURN OF 4-4-2
end up like training cones when they did not
have the ball. Watch England’s Euro 2000
opener back on YouTube. After going 2-0 in
front against Portugal, Kevin Keegan’s team
are painfully exposed, allowing Luis Figo &
Co. to play between the lines. They lost 3-2.
“Leicester did it a different way,” explains
Paul Ince, who played in that game. “Marc
Albrighton and Riyad Mahrez weren’t really
wingers who went outside, they liked to come
inside. A lot of teams then use their full-backs
as wingers, like Tottenham, but Leicester’s sit
back, as do their central midfielders.”
Just as importantly, they do it without the
ball. “Nine times out of 10, Leicester are happy
to drop back, surrender possession and invite
the opposition on,” says Birmingham City boss,
Gary Rowett, one of the most astute tacticians
currently in the Football League. “Atletico,
particularly against the big two, are similar.”
The stats bear this out. Understandably,
given that they’ve been drilled by the Argentine
for four more years, Diego Simeone’s team are
even more compact than Leicester, conceding
half the number of league goals last season
(18). That the Rojiblancos averaged 49 per cent
possession, alongside Leicester’s 45, reflects
the top-heavy nature of La Liga compared to
England’s top flight as much as anything.
The formation’s resurgence has mainly been
a case of ‘goodbye high press, hello deep one’,
but other challenges remain. “I’d say 4-4-2
is the hardest system to be really good at,
because the higher the level, the better teams
are at exploiting the numerical advantage in
midfield,” explains former Burton Albion
manager Rowett, who laid much of the
groundwork for the Brewers’ recent success.
“Pace and athleticism are key because you
have to cover an awful lot of ground for it not
to be too open. I read a stat that in the last 10
years, the number of high-intensity sprints per
game has increased on average by five per
cent each season, allowing teams such as
Leicester to be able to play 4-4-2 effectively.”
In other words, if it seemed like N’Golo Kante
was in two places at once at times last season,
that’s probably because he pretty much was.
The French midfielder topped both the tackle
and interception counts in the Premier League.
“More important than the system itself,
though,” continues ex-Leicester defender
Rowett, “is to have players who work hard.”
If this sounds like a cliché, then consider
the facts: Leicester topped the tackle and
interception counts in the Premier League
last term, as did Atletico in La Liga. Watford,
another team who played 4-4-2, were fourth
and second respectively. But even they were
in awe of the Foxes’ remarkable work rate.
“I am not surprised to find out that [Shinji]
Okazaki is the most substituted player in the
Premier League – he runs himself into the
ground,” said Hornets captain Troy Deeney.
That the Japanese forward only scored five
league goals and provided no assists, yet
was still considered key for Leicester, proves
how important working your socks off can be.
But you can’t win a title on hard graft and
defensive organisation alone. And again, this
is where the 4-4-2s of Leicester and Atletico
FourFourTwo.com August 2016 85

“You do not need to spend millions on the
big names. 4-4-2 is all about team cohesion”
differ from yesteryear. “Traditionally, a 4-4-2,
particularly in this country, included wingers
trying to get crosses into the box for strikers
like me who were really good in the air, or
a targetman up front and a No.10 playing in
behind,” says Les Ferdinand, QPR’s director of
football. “If you look at Jamie Vardy’s goals
last season, he didn’t score many headers
(two). Leicester relied heavily on his pace.”
They were also clinical – scoring the
third-highest number of goals from the
eighth-highest number of attempts – good
at set-pieces and fortunate with injuries. Or
as Ince puts it: “If everyone knows their job
and you have the right personnel, there’s
no reason why 4-4-2 shouldn’t be able to
compete as a formation, or even win the title.”
In short, while other managers may have
had bigger, shinier cogs than Claudio Ranieri,
none of their machines were as well oiled as
the Italian’s. Not even close. Case closed.
If only FFT’s argument didn’t have one fatal
flaw: Leicester weren’t playing 4-4-2 at all.
“IT’S NOT ABOUT THE SYSTEM,
IT’S ABOUT THE PLAYERS”
“Every system, to a certain degree, can look
like another system, with or without the ball,”
says Rowett. So while it’s true that as soon as
they get the ball, the likes of Leicester (Vardy
and Okazaki), Atletico (Antoine Griezmann and
Fernando Torres or Yannick Carrasco), Burnley
(Sam Vokes and Andre Gray) and, especially,
Watford (Deeney and Odion Ighalo) have two
men up front, without it, it’s another story.
Then, one forward drops back onto the
opposition’s deepest central midfielder,
effectively making it a 4-5-1 formation.
In Leicester’s case, you could argue that
they’re not really a 4-4-2 going forward either.
Take a look at their players’ average positions
in any given Premier League match on the
FourFourTwo StatsZone app. Their full-backs
rarely get forward, and with Kante and Danny
Drinkwater only occasionally venturing upfield,
the wingers tucked in and Okazaki dropping
off, it looks suspiciously like a 4-2-3-1 to us.
A similar argument could be made for
almost any formation. A diamond can be
flattened to a 4-4-2 without the ball; it’s not
rocket science to turn an attacking 4-3-3 into
a defensive 4-5-1, and so on. “It’s about the
team being a cohesive unit,” says Rowett.
“When you write it all down on a piece of
paper you can make a system look as simple
or as complicated as you like. But it won’t
work if the players can’t implement it.”
A prime example was England’s 4-1 defea
to Germany at the 2010 World Cup, which
prompted Alan Shearer to call Fabio Capello
men “a team in name only” and Savage to
start penning his 4-4-2 obituary. In this
instance, the former was nearer the mark.
How else could you explain the success of
Uruguay, who finished third at the same
tournament playing variations of 4-4-2?
THE FUTURE OF 4-4-2
So what next for the flying Foxes and their
now-fabled formation? “The priority is keepi
what they’ve got,” said BBC pundit Chris
Sutton at the end of the season. But is that
RETURN OF 4-4-2
Yes, the success of Atletico
cester has been as much
yers who buy into their
4-4-2 as the system itself.
lmost proved, if you can get
ave their egos at the door,
Leicester s u likely achievement need not
be a once-in-a-generation occurrence. Atleti
won the Spanish title in 2013-14 playing
a similar 4-4-2. Of the players that started
the Champions League final in Lisbon the
same season, only five remained for this
year’s showpiece in Milan.
“What Leicester will need to do is try to
stay one step ahead. Teams are going to
sit back a bit more and restrict space for
counter-attacks,” says Rowett.
“Teams rarely respected the way they
played, and ended up playing into their
hands,” Ferdinand adds about the Foxes’
title-winning campaign. It’s a mistake nobody
is likely to make in 2016-17 – but will they go
one step further? Can we honestly expect
Pep Guardiola and Jose Mourinho to say:
“D’ya know what, let’s play like Leicester”?
Who better to ask than the man who
consigned 4-4-2 to the history books six years
ago? “I can’t see it,” Robbie Savage tells FFT.
“When you’ve managed Barcelona and Bayern
Munich, you don’t need to look at Leicester
and think: ‘that’s the way to do it’. Guardiola’s
philosophy is based on possession, Leicester
were at their most dangerous when they
didn’t have the ball. Few teams have got
someone with the pace of Vardy. Mourinho,
Above Watford, with on the other hand, is a coach known more
Ighalo and Deeney up for a counter-attacking style. With Anthony
front, have breathed Martial, Marcus Rashford and one or two
new life into 4-4-2 others, he might have the option to do that.”
Below Robbie Savage “It’s not a revolution, but tactics move in
was right, annoyingly cycles,” believes Rowett. “When I first started
playing, nearly every team set up in a 4-4-2,
but at both Derby and Leicester we played
3-5-2 and others started following suit. Next
season it’ll be back to 4-4-2, and the season
after it’ll probably be something else again.”
Ferdinand agrees, saying: “I think a lot of
managers still like that assurance of having
an extra man in midfield. But the great thing
about Leicester’s success and the return to
4 4 2 is that it proved you don’t need to spend
ions of pounds on the biggest
out team cohesion, and if
that, anything is possible.”
adds: “Besides, it wouldn’t be
and end all if Leicester found
s in a relegation battle and
ight out of the Champions
eason. They’ve won the
ague title and nobody can
that away from them.”
t last, something that
e can all agree on.
Robbie Savage was talking at
he launch of the Greene King
Season Ticket, which offers you
10 per cent off selected drinks
at more than 700 different
pubs. To find your nearest,
visit gkseasonticket.co.uk
FourFourTwo.com August 2016 87

Gunter Netzer may
not be a household
name in the UK, but
he remains German
football’s answer to
the ‘Fifth Beatle’.
FFT discovers why
the blond midfielder
became such an icon
Words Uli Hesse
ONLY
COOLER
I
n late January 1974, four days before Real
Madrid took on Real Murcia, the phone
rang in Gunter Netzer’s apartment in
the Spanish capital. When the German
midfielder picked up the receiver, he
heard the voice of his friend Michael
Pfleghar, a film director who had worked
with Frank Sinatra in the 1960s and at one
point dated Sinatra’s daughter, Tina.
Netzer had been sidelined for two weeks
with a muscle tear, so Pfleghar asked how his
friend was doing. When Netzer told him he
wouldn’t be taking up running exercises for
another week, Pfleghar said: “Good”. Then he
added: “Pack a few essentials, a toothbrush
and a dinner suit. I’ll meet you in London
tomorrow, then we’ll fly to Los Angeles. We
are going to Tina’s wedding in Las Vegas!”
Tina Sinatra was about to marry songwriter
Wes Farrell at Caesars Palace, the legendary
casino. It was a major event, not least because
Frank would give an eagerly awaited concert
on the evening before the wedding, his first
Vegas appearance in five years.
Netzer, playing along with the joke, replied
that he didn’t own the proper attire for such
an occasion. Without missing a beat, Pfleghar
said: “Well, then just pack a toothbrush. We’ll
find you some clothes tomorrow in London.”
Netzer, realising his friend was deadly
serious, protested. “How do you think that’s
going to work?” he asked. “I can’t just leave
without telling anyone. And I won’t be able
to get out of the country.”
Real Madrid’s rules were rigid. The players
had to inform the club about any long journey.
What’s more, Real had collected all passports
– partly to avoid the scenario of any of their
players forgetting his travel documents, and
partly to render clandestine trips impossible.
ACTION REPLAY
 ACTION REPLAY
“I’ve spoken to the people at the embassy,”
Pfleghar said. “They have a passport substitute
for you.” As Netzer would find out the next
morning, they had more for him: a high-collar
coat and a wide-brimmed hat. It was not the
most elaborate of disguises, and as he was
walking through Madrid airport, Netzer felt
sure his cover would be blown at any moment.
After all, he was a star player for one of the
biggest clubs in the world. Seven months
earlier, he had signed a contract that netted
his hometown club Borussia Monchengladbach
800,000 Marks (the equivalent of £140,000 at
the time) and made the 28-year-old German
the highest-paid member of Real Madrid’s
illustrious squad. “That’s more than half the
team together is earning!” vice-president
Raimundo Saporta cried when Netzer
demanded a salary of 350,000 Marks per
year. They eventually settled on 295,000.
It was a spectacular transfer – not to
mention a controversial one. The West
German national coach Helmut Schon was
unhappy that Netzer, a key member of the
stylish team that had won the 1972 European
Championship, was moving abroad just one
year before a World Cup on home soil, and
joining a club that might not release him for
internationals. In June 1973, two days before
the cup final between Gladbach and Cologne,
the German magazine Kicker said there was
a “secret Netzer plan”. Bayern Munich, the
paper speculated, might sign him on loan
from Real for one year, until the World Cup.
It was a tantalising prospect. People were
still talking about the day West Germany
defeated England 3-1 at Wembley in April
1972. The game still looms large in German
football lore, mainly because of the magical
interplay between both Netzer and Franz
Beckenbauer. When Netzer surged forward,
sweeper Beckenbauer covered for him. When
Beckenbauer decided to move upfield, Netzer
dropped back and closed off the gaps. So
would the two now be reunited in Munich?
Alas, the “plan” never came to fruition.
Schon wasn’t the only coach unhappy about
Netzer’s transfer. Gladbach’s iconic manager
Hennes Weisweiler went into a huff, too. He
had spent the previous 10 years having spats
with Netzer about next to everything, from
the team’s tactics to the player’s lifestyle.
The main reason for their clashes was that
Netzer had an innate aversion to any f
authority, while Weisweiler was a cont
who distrusted marquee players. A few
down the line, the coach would
shock the whole of Barcelona by
subbing Johan Cruyff. Now he
decided to show another midfield
maestro who was boss. Weisweiler
benched Netzer, the team’s captain, fo
what was supposed to be his final gam
in Gladbach’s colours, the German Cup
When Netzer learned of this snub, on
day of the match, he was so enraged t
went to his hotel room and packed his
ready to walk out on the team. Herber
Wimmer, the man who covered all the
in midfield that Netzer couldn’t be bot
with, later recalled how Jupp Heyncke
90 August 2016 FourFourTwo.com
“I’m willing to consider
a tie, but nobody will get
me to the hairdresser’s”
Top Taking on the Berti Vogts argued with their captain for
Soviet Union in the a long time, until he finally relented and
final of Euro 72 travelled to the stadium with the squad.
Above Netzer was At half-time, it was 1-1. Weisweiler must
rarely understated have felt he had made his point, because
Below “I’m going to during the interval he approached Netzer and
play over there now, told him: “You’re getting into the game now.”
gaffer. Got it? Good” Netzer barely looked up. “Me?” he said. “No,
no way.” It was not the time or the place for
one final quarrel, so Weisweiler walked away
ther word. The two men most
for Gladbach’s transformation
, unfashionable second-division
ne of the most exciting sides on
t watched the second half in
om either end of the bench,
much space between them as
nder the circumstances.
the final whistle rang, it was still
ring the break before extra time,
r strolled across the pitch while
crowd was chanting his name.
noticed young Christian Kulik lying
the ground, looking exhausted.
Can you continue?” Netzer asked.
’ve got nothing left,” Kulik said.
tzer nodded his head and told his
mate to come off. Kulik assumed
that Netzer was relaying an order from
Weisweiler, so he didn’t ask any questions.
Netzer walked back to the bench. Passing
Weisweiler, he casually said: “Now I’m
playing.” Then he took off his tracksuit top.
When the Gladbach supporters saw this,
they cheered their lungs out. This was more
than just a cup final for them, it was also
a derby between fierce local rivals, and finally
Weisweiler had come to his senses and would
bring on the player who was, according to the
chant the fans now started up, “the best man
in the world”. Nobody knew the truth. Nobody
knew that Netzer was actually bringing himself
on. It wasn’t until Weisweiler’s death in July
1983 that the full story of that June afternoon
at the Rheinstadion finally came to light.
Three minutes into extra time, Netzer moved
through midfield, passed the ball to Rainer
Bonhof and continued his run. Bonhof played
the ball back into Netzer’s path – and the
midfielder drilled it into the top corner with
a first-time left-footed strike from 12 yards.
It was the goal that won the cup for Gladbach,
and also Netzer’s last goal on German soil.
After the game, a reporter asked Netzer
about Real Madrid. Netzer said he was looking
forward to joining the Spanish giants. Then he
added there was one worry. “A journalist told
me that the rules are pretty strict in Spain,” he
revealed. “He said I might have to cut my hair
and wear a tie. But that’s out of the question.
I’m willing to consider a tie, but nobody will
get me to the hairdresser’s.”
And indeed, as he was walking towards his
gate at Madrid airport, where the plane to
London was waiting, Netzer still sported the
famous blond mane a generation of English
football fans would forever associate with that
1972 game at Wembley. The image of the tall
and dashing Netzer, wearing West Germany’s
green away shirt, his long hair illuminated by
the floodlights as he easily rode lumbering
tackles, came to symbolise a defeat which, in
the words of author David Downing, “knocked
the incipient cockiness out of English football”.
Netzer had worn his hair like this since
the late 1960s, when he became the first
German player whose locks went way below
the collar. Back then, this was more than
a fashion statement. A 1971 book about
Netzer’s life was called Rebel on the Ball,
because he always did things differently.
He had listened to Bob Dylan and the Rolling
Stones when his team-mates were into the
banal mainstream pop known in Germany
as schlager music. At a time when a typical
footballer married his school sweetheart,
Netzer was dating a gorgeous, somewhat
mysterious goldsmith who always dressed
in black. While even German superstars like
Beckenbauer still had something provincial
about them, Netzer mingled with creative
types, artists and filmmakers.
Hurrying through Madrid’s airport in his
disguise, trying not to attract any attention,
Netzer wondered if he was really a rebel. He
felt flattered by the term, but he also thought
people were taking things too far. It was the
age of the student protests and people liked

to draw parallels between politics and football.
It was said that Bayern Munich’s possession
game stood for the old, conservative men who
were running the country, while Gladbach’s
aggressive transition game represented the
young and progressive opposition. Essayist
Helmut Bottiger memorably wrote that
Netzer’s trademark long passes, which often
instigated Die Fohlen’s counter-attacks,
“were breathing the spirit of utopia”.
When asked a few years ago how he used
to handle all of this brouhaha, Netzer replied:
“Football lent itself to such things back then.
Sometimes I was amused, because there
was no deeper meaning to what we did. We
were not political, we were athletes. I read
the literary and arts sections because I was
interested in what people said. But I didn’t
take any of it very seriously.”
But if he wasn’t a rebel – why did he do these
things? Why was he secretly boarding a plane
to London, breaking half a dozen club rules?
He was hardly stupid. He knew exactly what
would happen if he was spotted by a reporter
or a fan, if the club found out that, instead of
getting back into shape, he was crossing eight
time zones to schmooze with Ol’ Blue Eyes.
Real, already out of the title race not least
because Netzer had got off to a slow start at
his new club, would probably fire him on the
spot. The best explanation he found for why
he always did these things was that he
couldn’t resist anything that was out of the
ordinary. As he later said in his autobiography,
with considerable understatement, Netzer
was always a little bit “restless”.
Netzer arrived in London without being
recognised. Pfleghar took him on a shopping
spree so that he wouldn’t look out of place
among the Rat Pack jet set, then the two
friends travelled on to Los Angeles and, finally,
on a small private plane to Las Vegas. While
his team-mates were preparing for the game
in Murcia, Netzer sat down to watch Frank
Sinatra. He was sharing a table with celebrities
like Sammy Davis Junior and Neil Diamond,
who became very excited when he learned
ACTION REPLAY
Below Gunter mixes that Netzer was a football player. Diamond’s
the drinks at Lovers’ enthusiasm quickly cooled, though, when none
Lane, watched by other than Dean Martin explained that the
Germany team-mate game Netzer was talking about was soccer.
Wolfgang Overath Netzer wondered what the people back
Bottom left Not home would say if they could see him now.
many early-1970s Apart from being called a rebel, people also
footballers would be said he was a playboy and compared him to
found at an art fair George Best. In a way, this was silly. Netzer
Bottom right Being didn’t drink and he had only a fraction of
ignored by Hennes the affairs the press attributed to him. But he
Weisweiler... again could see where his reputation came from.
He used to own a bar-cum-discotheque in
sleepy Monchengladbach called Lovers’ Lane
that attracted people from far away because
barkeeper Picco made the best cocktails
around. When Netzer opened the place in
1971, Weisweiler groaned: “This is the end”,
imagining his star playmaker dancing and
partying until the early hours.
There was also his fascination with cars.
Before he turned 20, Netzer had driven
a Mercedes, a Porsche 911 and a Jaguar
E-Type around his tranquil hometown. He sold
the Jag to Beckenbauer when a yellow Ferrari
Dino 246 GT caught his eye. It was this car
which almost killed him in June 1970. Netzer
survived the crash, but sustained injuries that
made him miss the World Cup in Mexico.
As Sinatra took to the stage, opening with
Come Fly With Me, another World Cup was
less than five months away. Netzer would
hardly feature in that tournament either,
partly because he wasn’t in the best physical
shape after his injury-strewn first season in
Madrid, and partly because Schon’s preferred
playmaker was the less unpredictable
Wolfgang Overath. This may explain why
Netzer is an icon in Germany, where he’s
remembered as the best player in the best
team the country ever had (the 1972 side),
while he never quite got the recognition he
deserved abroad. His timing on football’s
biggest stages was simply not the best.
And sometimes he was just plain unlucky.
Take the day of arguably his greatest game,
October 20, 1971. Gladbach hosted Inter
Milan in the European Cup. A classic Netzer
pass set up Heynckes for the opener. Shortly
before the break, Netzer whipped a 25-yard
free-kick into the top corner to make it 4-1.
Then, seven minutes into the second half,
Gladbach’s No.10 dropped deep to lose his
marker. He started a move near his own box,
FourFourTwo.com August 2016 91
 ACTION REPLAY
then ran through midfield until he suddenly
appeared in Inter’s penalty area. Heynckes
crossed from the left and Netzer elegantly
chipped the ball into the far corner with the
outside of his right foot. The final result was
a jaw-dropping 7-1 win for the German side.
There was only one problem. It was all for
nothing. In the first half, a Coca-Cola can
thrown from the stands had hit Inter’s
Roberto Boninsegna, who went down and
was stretchered off. German fans remain
convinced the Italian was feigning his injury.
Five years ago, even the referee of the game,
the late Jef Dorpmans from the Netherlands,
told a German TV crew: “I’ve always believed
he was faking it.” Still, Inter filed a protest,
the game was replayed and ended as a 0-0
draw, a result that eliminated Borussia.
Netzer’s haul of silverware at club level,
though impressive, was also not quite what
it could have been if he had played for a club
like Bayern or gone abroad earlier. He was
loyal to Gladbach (also because he knew he
was the undisputed star there), although he
felt Weisweiler’s high-tempo game was not
suited to winning league titles. It was an
eternal bone of contention between them.
Netzer argued that you sometimes had to
conserve energy and couldn’t always attack
straight after winning the ball back, which
led to one of Weisweiler’s great one-liners.
Asked to relay the shortest definition of
the offside rule, he said: “Offside is when
the tall asshole passes the ball too late.”
Netzer himself, though, was never one to
rue missed opportunities. After winning
a couple of league titles with Real Madrid,
and spending one season with Grasshoppers
in Switzerland, he wrapped up his playing
days in 1977 – and immediately became as
daring and inquisitive in his second life as he
92 August 2016 FourFourTwo.com
Left Big sad eyes, Who knows, he may have acquired the
doleful expression... knack of being himself and at ease no matter
and a bassett hound the circumstances on that last weekend in
Below “Me? Have January 1974, when he hung out with some
my hair cut? Never!” of the world’s biggest celebrities in Las Vegas.
Bottom Trying to go On the day after the Sinatra show, Netzer met
incognito can prove the father of the bride in person. At one point,
tricky when you’re Ol’ Blue Eyes looked at Netzer and Pfleghar
in a green Ferrari and said: “Do you guys want to see Elvis?
He’s performing at the Hilton today.” Within
an hour, the two Germans sat together at
a table right in front of the stage, a bottle of
champagne between them, while Thus Spake
Zarathustra came blaring out of the speakers
and the King strolled onto the stage wearing
had been during his active career. Many a jumpsuit as white as Real Madrid’s shirts.
were surprised when Hamburg made him n Tu da onl ix days after Pfleghar had
general manager later that same year, but phone, a still jet-lagged
they were the same people who had always k training in the Spanish
underestimated his business sense. Netzer der Ignacio Zoco asked
hadn’t opened Lovers’ Lane because he was watched any television
partial to a bit of nightlife, but because he end. Netzer shook his
wanted an investment and something to co, who was about to
concentrate on away from football. o popular singer Maria
He went on to build the Hamburg team that natra’s comeback show
would beat Juventus in Athens to win the 1983 Netzer froze.
European Cup before restlessness stirred again swears there was a guy
and he lost interest in the administrative side ience who looked just
of the game. He then made a fortune buying co added. “You must
and selling football broadcasting rights and pelganger, Gunter.”
eventually ended up in front of the camera Decades would go by
himself – between 1998 and 2010, Netzer before Zoco heard the
was one of the most popular football pundits rue story. But he should
in Germany, admired not only for his wit, but have known: there was
his frankness and self-deprecating humour. body quite like Netzer.
As Netzer said in his autobiography, with some
understatement, he was always a little ‘restless’
  


 



   
 
 

   
    


 
 

   
   

 PLANET FOOTBALL

PLANET
YOUR PASSPORT TO THE GLOBAL GAME

A MONUMENTAL NEW KIT

Monumentally bad, that is. Bordeaux fans aren’t impressed with their strip becoming a tourism ad
Words James Eastham; Planet Football editor Chris Flanagan

Bordeaux is one of France’s most
beautiful cities – but would you be
able to work that out from looking
at the team’s new third kit?
Fresh from a disappointing campaign,
in which Les Girondins finished 11th in
Ligue 1, the club attempted to celebrate
the local area by plastering their new
shirt with some of the city’s famous
monuments, including the Place de la
Bourse, the Porte d’Aquitaine and the
Esplanade des Quinconces. But sadly it
has not had the desired effect, with the
heavily-decorated, purple, pink and blue
mishmash taking a trashing on social
media since its launch. A poll in regional
newspaper Sud Ouest revealed that
three-quarters of voters had a negative
reaction to the rather garish garment.
“It’s horrible,” says Nicolas Pietrelli,
who runs fansite WebGirondins.com.
“When we saw the colour and design it
was a real ‘wow’ moment, and not in
a good way. It looks like a postcard.
“If you know the city then you can
identify the monuments. You have to
wonder if it’s a partnership with the
local tourist office. To be honest, it’s
rare for fans to be opposed to a new
kit as strongly as we are to this one.
“2015-16 wasn’t great for us on the
pitch. When the new kit came out we
thought: OK, the bad news continues.”
There was a better response, however,
when Bordeaux launched their 2016-17
home shirt a week later. Based on
a design from the club’s successful
1980s period, it has gone down a storm
with the supporters. “The new home kit
is great. In fact it’s every bit as beautiful
as the third kit is horrid,” Pietrelli says.
Safe to say we know which of the two
will be stuffed in the bargain bins of
south-west France come Christmas.

Romania Ex-Universitatea Craiova owner Adrian Mititelu is in the money - the league and FA were ordered by a court to pay him €220m for incorrectly dissolving the club

FourFourTwo.com August 2016 95

 P L A N E T FO OT B A L L
[ INTERVIEW ]
“My favourite nickname? King
Kong de Jong – that sounds nice”
Nigel de Jong has amassed many monikers after sending a wrecking ball through various
opposition midfields during his career. Now he’s in the US and eyeing an international recall
Why did you decide to leave
Europe and join up with LA Galaxy
at the beginning of the year?
It was always in the back of my mind
to come to the United States one
day and play football, especially for
a team like Galaxy. For me, it’s the
biggest club in the country. It was
always a dream to experience living
in America. They made contact with
my agent asking if I would be keen.
I wasn’t playing a lot at Milan and
I thought it was a great opportunity.
Was the LA lifestyle a factor?
Of course. Los Angeles is the type
of city that suits me. I like America
a lot. I’ve got a family with two
children, so I have to think about
their futures as well. I could see
myself living here after my career
is over. I’m a huge fan of American
sports too, particularly the NBA and
the NFL. Pittsburgh Steelers is my
team. I follow that much more than
European football to be honest.
Did any of the Galaxy players get
in touch and try to convince you
to move over to California?
Not directly, but I spent some time
in Los Angeles three years ago for
my rehabilitation after I tore my
Achilles and I spoke to Robbie Keane
then. He told me a lot of positive
things, so I was already aware of
the whole atmosphere within the
club and the culture around soccer
in the United States. That helped
me to make my decision.
NIGEL DE JONG IN NUMBERS
The man Xabi Alonso probably still has nightmares about has, surprisingly, rarely seen red
3 16
Interview Martin Harasimowicz
Number of career red
cards: one for Milan and
two while with Hamburg
Colombia Suspended for poking a ball boy in the eye, Santa Fe manager Alexis Garcia was unrepentant. “I stuck out my hand and the boy came with his face,” he insisted
96 August 2016 FourFourTwo.com
Some people have labelled this
Galaxy squad as the most talented
in the 20-year history of MLS. Has
that created a lot of expectation?
It’s normal. When you bring in some
quality players like Steven Gerrard,
Ashley Cole, Giovani dos Santos,
Robbie Keane (below), Jelle van
Damme or myself, com
with the rest of the
team, you have to
expect the pressure
to be on. But I’m
really grateful that
I can play alongside
someone like Stevie in
midfield. What he’s
done in the game ove
a span of almost 20
years is absolutely
incredible. He really is
a football legend, not
only for Liverpool, but
in general. Playing wit
him truly is an honour.
Robbie Keane has gone to his
second European Championship
as a Galaxy player. At 31, do you
still see a future for yourself with
the Dutch at international level?
Yes, I’ve not retired from playing for
Holland. It’s a little bit more difficult
once you are overseas – flights are
longer and time zones are different,
but it’s not impossible. For me it’s
not a problem. I’m not retiring from
the national team unless I can’t play
any more or somebody tells me:
‘You’re not going to get selected’.
Months since the latest
of his 81 Netherlands
caps, in March 2015
How hard was it to miss out on
qualification for Euro 2016?
It was very disappointing. With the
standard of football that the Dutch
national team has to offer, everyone
always expects us to be qualifying
for every major tournament. So it’s
really bad, especially for the younger
on of Dutch players who
have got a lot of
ble experience in
ce at Euro 2016.
we will have to
hrough another
lifying campaign
d wait two more
rs to have a chance
edemption. I hope
will qualify for the
orld Cup, but it’s not
iven. It still hurts
hat happened, but
s football. I was also
rt of a team that got
t t iu t two consecutive
World Cups, and not many players
get to do that. I’m very proud of that
group and my generation in general.
During your career you’ve been
given a lot of nicknames, but
which one is your favourite?
There have been so many, like King
Kong de Jong, the Terrier, the Pitbull,
the Lawnmower and the Destroyer.
My favourite? I like the Lawnmower
a lot because it was given to me in
England by Manchester City’s fans.
And maybe King Kong de Jong, too,
because that one just sounds nice!
28
Minutes gone when he
made THAT tackle in the
2010 World Cup Final
There were rumours that you had
an offer from Manchester United
during Louis van Gaal’s time in
charge of the club. Is that true?
Rumours are rumours for a reason.
If there was any interest, then it’s
something that my agent had to
deal with, not me personally, so
I never heard anything about it.
Is Manchester City still a special
club for you, after playing more
than 100 league games for them?
Of course, Manchester is a second
home for me. City will always have
a place in my heart – especially as
I was with them from the very start,
when we hadn’t experienced the
success the club have gone on to
achieve. I was fortunate to be a part
of the team that was growing up to
championship level. I still have a lot
of love for the supporters, too. I will
always be blue for the rest of my life.
Not everyone realises that Sergio
Aguero’s dramatic injury-time goal
that won Man City the Premier
League title in 2011-12 started…
[interrupting eagerly] With me! Yes,
I helped to set it up. I gave the ball
to Mario Balotelli and he then gave it
to Aguero, who scored. It’s nice to be
part of history and that moment was
special, for sure. Winning a league
championship in England in that
fashion – you will never experience
anything like that ever again. But it’s
all about Galaxy for me now. I want
to win and hold a trophy here.
1
Goal scored in 104 league
appearances for Man City,
vs West Ham in 2011
 P L A N E T FO OT B A L L

NOW
THAT’S A
NICKNAME
Nigel de Jong isn’t the only player
to have had a rather creative
moniker bestowed upon him

BIG ASS
One imagines Dragan Vujovic didn’t
entirely appreciate the name given
to him during his playing days with
Buducnost, but it was
a compliment. Honest.
While the term ‘Guzo’
implies laziness, it was
actually a tribute to the
way Vujovic’s supreme
skill and vision more than
made up for a perceived
reluctance to run around.
A bit like the Montenegrin
version of Matt Le Tissier.

DRAGON HEAD
The good news for Rom
winger Catalin Muntea
was that he had quite
amazing nickname. Th
bad news was that it re
to the fact that most pe
thought he had a mass
bonce. Still, it didn’t stop
moving to Atletico Madr

HAMSTER
Nicknames don’t come
much more intimidating than this.
No one wanted to
face the Hamster,
otherwise known
as former Russia,
Spartak Moscow
and Fenerbahce
striker Vladimir Beschastnykh - so
called not because he spent half the
match running in a wheel by the side
of the pitch, but because he had high
cheekbones like the rodent. We can
see it, now that it’s been pointed out.

BEAR STRANGLER
One imagines that the Hamster would
squeak with fear and head for the hills
with a month’s supply
of sunflower seeds
rather than risk being
marked by the Bear
Strangler, aka the
former Fenerbahce and
Words Chris Flanagan

Galatasaray defender Servet Cetin. No

bears have been strangled during the
career of the 35-year-old, we should
add. He just looks pretty fearsome.

Germany Following Hannover’s relegation, a local brothel offered disconsolate fans ‘15-minute quickies’ together with the slogan ‘After Going Down, Something Comes Up’

FourFourTwo.com August 2016 97

 P L A N E T FO OT B A L L
WHAT DO
YOU MEAN,
WE ONLY
BEAT THE
CHAGOS
ISLANDS?
Abkhazia win the world’s most
bizarre tournament, and celebrate
it by announcing a public holiday
Abkhazia 9 Chagos Islands 0,
Somaliland 3 Szekely Land 10,
Padania 6 Raetia 0. We knew
UEFA were starting to let
more teams into the Euros,
but this is getting crazy.
Well OK, this wasn’t the new
expanded group stage of the
European Championship, but
the ConIFA World Football Cup,
Words Kieran Pender
a tournament for unrecognised
states and minorities that took
place just as the Euros were
preparing to kick off. The Dutch
didn’t qualify for this one, either.
[ Museum piece ]
THE DEAD DERBY SEAGULL
Museum Feyenoord and Sparta Rotterdam Weirdness rating
Will the real dead seagull
please stand up? Oh, they
both are already, mainly
because they’ve been
stuffed and then glued to
their respective plinths.
Eddy Treijtel would like to
be remembered for the 11
Words Ben Clark
years he served Feyenoord,
winning the UEFA Cup in
1974. Instead, he is recalled
for a piece of accidental avian
Argentina Top division club Tigre have announced plans for a new ‘Passion Ticket’ - a microchip that fans can have implanted in their arm to open turnstiles on matchdays
98 August 2016 FourFourTwo.com
Twelve ‘nations’ were invited
to take their place in Abkhazia,
a separatist region of Georgia.
The UN cautions against travel
there, but that didn’t prevent
a host of teams - from Northern
Cyprus and Iraqi Kurdistan to
the United Koreans of Japan,
Panjab and Sapmi - turning up
for a game of football or two.
“We took a big gamble taking
the World Football Cup over to
Abkhazia,” ConIFA President
Per-Anders Blind, a Swedish
businessman, tells FFT.
assassination. The Dutch
international was playing
against Sparta in 1970 when
his goal-kick struck the flier
like a guided missile, bringing
it crashing down to earth.
And he got a surprise when
a taxidermist turned up at his
front door a few months later
with the gull now very much
stuffed. Not wanting a reminder
of his inadvertent bird butchery,
“We faced political pressure
in light of their controversial
status. However, we enjoyed
a fantastic tournament.”
Twenty-eight matches were
crammed into eight days, with
players relishing the chance to
go and represent their region.
“We are inspiring all of
Somaliland,” says defender
Guiled Aden, representing the
team from the breakaway state
in Somalia. “This is the first time
that Somaliland players have
come together and united on
an international stage.”
Somaliland lost both of their
group matches 5-0 before the
13-goal thriller against Szekely
Land determined they’d finish
the tournament in 10th place,
leaking 22 goals in four games.
he handed it over to Feyenoord,
who put it in their museum.
But their rivals claim that the
bird was a Sparta fan, blocking
Treijtel’s clearance, and that
they have the real gull. They’ve
even got experts to assert that
the gull in Feyenoord’s musuem
only visits Rotterdam during the
spring and couldn’t have been
the one hit in autumn. Maybe it
was just pining for the fjords.
The Chagossians, who
Panjab (in blue) go clos
in the final while, below
Abkhazia fan drums up
e
, an
support
were evicted from their
Indian Ocean archipelago by
the British in the late 1960s,
came 12th out of 12 after
shipping 27 goals in their
four matches – just behind
Raetia, a province of the
Roman Empire now part of
modern day Switzerland,
Germany, Austria and Italy. was quickly announced to
Panjab, who represent the help celebrate the triumph.
Punjabi diaspora in England “We want to play football,”
and are managed by former says Ruslan Adjinjal, federation
Oldham defender Reuben chairman of Abkhazia, who
Hazell, were eventually beaten retired from Russian Premier
by Abkhazia in the final after League club FC Krasnodar last
a penalty shootout. The hosts’ year. “This time it is the World
victory sparked a pitch invasion Football Cup – next time the
from joyous supporters inside Euros or the World Cup.”
a packed-out Dinamo Stadium Watch out Argentina,
in Sukhumi. A public holiday Abkhazia mean business.
Feyenoord insist this
is the genuine arti-gull

“É! EASY TAXI!”
R
“UH! GATO
How do you raise funds for a new training ground?
By getting supporters to chant the names of the
club’s sponsors, of course. What could go wrong…
One afternoon, somewhere
in Sao Paulo, Corinthians had
a brainwave. Instead of fans
wasting their breath singing
about the players or the team,
why not get them to chant
about the sponsors instead?
It was a cunning plan, and
a deal was struck. The more
fans sung about the sponsors,
and the louder they chanted,
the more money would be paid.
Needing cash for a new
academy training facility, the
six-time Brazilian champions
planned to raise around 35
million Reias (£7 million)
through this novel scheme.
Around 300 hired extras were
brought in to lead the singing
during a league match against
Novorizontino at Corinthians’
49,000 arena, with lyrics for
chants about Gatorade, Easy
FI R ST NA M E ON
T H E T EA M SH EE T
Turkey Besiktas supporters offered to buy 25 million copies of Poland defender Kamil Glik’s autobiography in a bid to persuade him to join the club from Serie A side Torino
Taxi and Netshoes displayed on
the big screen for everybody to
join in. Predictably, they didn’t.
“Everyone laughed,” fan Eder
Sguerri tells FFT. “Nobody really
understood what it was about.”
The scheme was quickly
mothballed, thwarting hopes
of entering the campaign into
the Cannes Film Festival and
following in the footsteps of
a bizarre 2013 movie about ‘the
Corinthians epidemic’ – with
lines like ‘we are a disease,
a bunch of insane people
without a cure’. Scary stuff.
“We’ll sing what
we want…”
OES,
ES!”
The club’s head of marketing,
Gustavo Herbetta, says: “The
campaign was launched with
the purpose of winning an
award in the Cannes Festival
again, and also finding an
alternative way of earning
money for the training ground.
“If we had reached a level of
voices, brands would have paid
us an amount we discussed.
Our supporters didn’t take part
in it, but the extras did their bit
and the club got paid for it.
“The expectation we had was
confirmed – no one can own
the way that the fans support.”
So for now, supporters will
continue with their normal
songs about the players - at
least until Corinthians unveil
their new forward line. Two
guys who are called Netshoes
and Easy Taxi, apparently.
P L A N E T FO OT B A L L
“Let me
d cate
ou…”
Sassuolo
ITALY
Why should I care?
The Neroverdi (the Black and Greens) outperformed many
more glamorous clubs – including Milan and Lazio – to finish
sixth in Serie A during 2015-16 and qualify for Europe for the
first time. They were in the fifth tier i 199
Impressive. Wh
their manager?
Eusebio.
Eusebio? Surely
not. That isn’t
even possible?
Well, not THAT Eusebio. This is
Eusebio Di Francesco, a former
Roma and Italy midfielder, who was appointed in 2012.
So presumably it’s been plain sailing
ever since he arrived at the club?
Well, not exactly. He guided the Neroverdi into Serie A just
12 months later but was sacked midway through their first
season in the top flight – only to be reinstated as head coach
Name words Nick Moore; Corinthians words Marcus Alves
five weeks later when results didn’t improve without him.
Where the hell is Sassuolo anyway?
It’s in the north of Italy, midway between Milan and Florence.
The population is 40,000 – the same as Salisbury – although
they’ve not played in Sassuolo since promotion to Serie B
under Max Allegri in 2008. Their 4,000-capacity home wasn’t
big enough and they now play at Reggiana’s Mapei Stadium.
So what should I say down the pub?
Tell people that Sassuolo got their colours from English side
Lancaster Rovers, who were unable to fulfil a fixture during
a tour of Italy in 1921, so donated their kit as an apology.
FourFourTwo.com August 2016 99
 P L A N E T FO OT B A L L
retold ]
[ Great goals
JESUS
NAVA S 005
thletic Bilbao, La Liga, 2
vs A
What could possibly be any
better than playing for your
boyhood club? Scoring your
first goal for that club by
Words Felipe Rocha; Illustration German Aczel
dribbling from the halfway
line and then launching
a screamer into the corner
from outside the area? Yes,
that might just about do it.
Jesus Navas did exactly that
for Sevilla back in 2005, at the
tender age of just 19. A mere
reminder of the moment is
enough to make him grin.
[ Derbies Deconstructed: Motagua vs Olimpia ]
CLUBS AT WAR IN MURDER CAPITAL
Stand by for scraps, stunts and smouldering shirts in Honduras’s fiery El Clasico Capitalino
Why all the fuss?
Motagua and Olimpia are
Honduras’s two leading sides
and their fierce rivalry dates
all the way back to their first
Words Damon Townsend
encounter in 1929. The Eagles
and the Lions both use the
Tegucigalpa national stadium
and in a country that has the
world’s highest murder rate,
violence is never far away.
Iran Persepolis keeper Sosha Makani was hit with a six-month ban - with his decision to wear garish ‘SpongeBob SquarePants’ trousers before a game cited as a reason
100 August 2016 FourFourTwo.com
“Imagine one day playing for
the club that you’ve always
loved, the club that I used to
watch on TV,” the Manchester
City winger tells FourFourTwo.
Navas had made his debut
17 months earlier, gradually
becoming an important
member of a Sevilla squad
that also included Dani Alves
and Sergio Ramos. But it was
his strike at Athletic Bilbao’s
old San Mames Stadium that
established him as a new star.
Reasons for aggro
There’s been many a title tussle
between the pair with Olimpia
crowned champions 30 times
to Motagua’s 13 – and tensions
have often spilled over. Clashes
between Olimpia’s hardcore
La Ultra Fiel and Motagua’s
Revolucionarios are common,
with mass fighting seen in the
stands during a 2014 derby.
“That was a very important
day for me,” he says. “San
Mames was a spectacular
football stadium, Athletic’s
supporters are noisy. Every
footballer liked to play there.
“I was just past the halfway
line, I tried to cut inside but
realised that wasn’t going to
work. I turned back to the wing
and ran past the first defender.
“Then I saw it was difficult to
go all the way on the right and
decided to shift inside again.
Fans are frisked after
a shooting in 2013
All I wanted was a shooting
opportunity. I escaped from
two defenders and just hit it
really hard with my left foot.
It was a great strike.
“There aren’t many with
my left that I can remember,
but that was a nice one.’’
Nice indeed, and Sevilla’s
3-1 win that day helped them
to beat Athletic Bilbao in the
race for the UEFA Cup spots,
after a spell of eight seasons
without European football.
Maddest moment
Carlos Valladares’ decision to
cross the divide in the 1940s
and sign for neighbours Olimpia
after leaving Motagua did not
go down well. Angered by the
perceived disloyalty of El Diablo
(The Devil), some disgruntled
Motagua fans responded by
taking Valladares’ kit on to
the pitch and setting fire to it.
FourFourTwo.com
Get online to see this and other
great goals from FFT’s archives
Navas would help the
Rojiblancos to win the UEFA
Cup in each of the next two
seasons - and five years later
he played his part as Spain
lifted the World Cup in 2010.
But sometimes that first
goal is the sweetest.
Cult figures
With his side 2-0 up during
a derby clash in the 1960s,
Motagua’s Fermin Navarro
decided to stop the ball and sit
on it rather than fire it into an
empty goal. “There were five
minutes remaining and we had
a bet to see who could pull off
the most outrageous stunt,”
he later explained about it.

KLOPP? PAH! HE’S GOT
NOTHING ON THIS GUY
Martin Schmidt has become only the third coach to lead Mainz into Europe, after a couple
of chaps by the names of Kl d T h l E n Jurgen seems rather dull in comparison
Football? Nah, it’s just
not dangerous enough
Born in a tiny village in the
Swiss Alps, and a childhood
friend of FIFA’s shiny-headed
new supremo Gianni Infantino,
Schmidt never played football
professionally – not helped by
the fact that he tore his knee
ligaments on seven separate
occasions. Three times it
happened on the pitch, with
FC Naters and FC Raron, but his
love for extreme sports proved
more perilous. Schmidt twice
damaged his knee while skiing,
and twice more while mountain
biking, but that wasn’t even the
worst of it. In yet another skiing
race, he broke two vertebrae in
his neck but carried on anyway,
before collapsing on the finish
line and being airlifted off to
hospital, narrowly avoiding
paralysis in the process. Crikey.
Part-time mechanic,
part-time mogul
He took an unusual route to the
top, combining playing at
amateur level with membership
of the local yodelling club and
Netherlands Eljero Elia celebrated Feyenoord’s KNVB Cup victory with a tattoo of the trophy. Just two problems: it said ‘Fenenoord’ and the date of the match was wrong
working as a mechanic – a role
which later led to working in
the German Touring Cars series.
He also opened up a business
supplying motor-racing tyres
and repairing luxury Porsches,
before branching into textiles.
Well, why not? Until recently
he ran a factory with his sisters,
although they’re looking after it
these days – presumably while
Schmidt concentrates on trying
to persuade his Mainz players
that what they really need is
a new carpet for their living
room Knockdo n pric lad !
The naked teamtalk
Schmidt moved into coaching
immediately after hanging up
his boots in 2001, spending two
years as assistant coach at
FC Raron in Switzerland’s sixth
tier before becoming the club’s
manager. His most memorable
moment? A calendar to raise
funds, which featured a picture
of an entirely nude Schmidt
issuing tactical instructions to
his team. Something about one
up front with two just behind
supplying the ammunition,
by all accounts
“No, it’s your turn
to pitch the tent”
P L A N E T FO OT B A L L
Mainz’s Pablo
and Christian
Clemens
celebrate anot
Schmidt discusses
his plans for the club’s
next calendar fundraiser
Who should get the
Mainz job? Er, me?
The one-time mechanic later
took charge of FC Thun’s
youth team before forming
a friendship with Mainz youth
boss Thomas Tuchel as a result
of a friendly between the two
clubs. When Tuchel became
manager of Mainz’s first team
in 2009, he brought in Schmidt
to lead the reserves. The Swiss
guided Mainz II to promotion
and then made an unlikely TV
appearance in 2014 following
Tuchel’s resignation. A local
journalist hotfooted it into
Mainz’s central square to ask
supporters who they thought
should step in to replace Tuchel
– stopping Schmidt to ask for
an opinion, not realising he was
talking to one of the candidates
for the job. Schmidt’s answer
obviously wasn’t persuasive
enough – Mainz appointed
Dane Kasper Hjulmand instead.
Don’t forget
the cowbells!
Hjulmand didn’t last long – just
nine months in fact – before
FourFourTwo.com August 2016 101
de Blasis
her win
j
in February 2015. To celebrate,
his 82-year-old father travelled
to the new coach’s first game
in charge against Eintracht
Frankfurt, to watch football
in a stadium for the very first
time. He was also joined by
Schmidt’s six siblings and
scores of friends, who cheered
him on from the stands with
the help of several traditional
Swiss cowbells. Mainz won 3-1
and finished the campaign in
11th place in the Bundesliga.
Pack your thermals, it’s
-11 where we’re going…
Schmidt’s first full season as
Mainz boss started promisingly
and when the winter break
came around they were eighth
in the table. How to prepare
then for the crucial second half
of the season? Warm-weather
training in Dubai? La Manga?
No, get your tents ready, lads,
we’re going camping in the
Alps. Oh, and wrap up warm,
it’s -11C. Thankfully the squad
responded positively to being
sent off to a snowy wilderness
2,700 metres above sea level,
and they improved to seal sixth
spot in the second half of the
Bundesliga campaign – enough
to snare a place in the Europa
Words Michael Yokhin
League. Just pray you don’t
end up in Iceland in the first
round, boys, or the gaffer will
have you paragliding into
volcanoes or something.
 P L A N E T FO OT B A L L
MISERY IN
Italy’s second city fac es yet another yea r witho ut Champions League football as Int
un de rachie ve. Why ha ve tw o of Europe’s greatest clubs fallen on
AC continue to
When Real Madrid defeated
neighbours Atletico Madrid
to win the Champions League
final in May, few stadiums in
Europe could have provided
a more fitting backdrop than
the San Siro in Milan.
That final, though, was the
first Champions League match
at the venue for more than two
years. There will be none in
2016-17 either, as the city’s
two giants continue to flounder.
Between them, AC Milan
(seven) and Inter (three) have
been crowned champions of
Europe on 10 occasions, but
right now an 11th triumph
seems some way away.
The Rossoneri finished the
2015-16 Serie A season down
in seventh place, 34 points
short of champions Juventus.
They were even further behind
in the two previous campaigns,
when they could only manage
10th and eighth respectively.
Owner Silvio Berlusconi, who
had bankrolled a remarkable
period of sustained success
Words Adam Digby; Additional reporting Emanuele Giulianelli
Ecuador Pelileo thrashed Indi Native 44-1, with Ronny Medina netting 18, but the result won’t make the Guinness Book of Records as it ‘only’ took place in the third division
102 August 2016 FourFourTwo.com
since purchasing the club in
1986, no longer possesses the
financial means to keep the
Rossoneri relevant. Despite
repeated claims that the club
is close to being sold on, vice
president Adriano Galliani has
made countless errors on the
occasions that funds have been
made available. Fans watched
as Galliani conducted bad deals
from Luiz Adriano and Andrea
Bertolacci to Alessandro Matri
and Giampaolo Pazzini.
That was compounded with
managerial appointments such
as Clarence Seedorf and Pippo
Inzaghi, former players who
had little experience of leading
a team before being handed
the reins. Cristian Brocchi
became Milan’s fifth coach in
two years when he replaced
Sinisa Mihajlovic in April.
er and
hard times?
“They are ridiculing the name
and the history of Milan. We
can’t put up with this rubbish
any more,” read a recent
statement from the club’s
leading ultra group, which
ended with a plea to “get
rid of Galliani or sell Milan!”
“I feel great disappointment
thinking about all the trophies
the club have won in the last
30 years,” says former Milan
striker Maurizio Ganz. “I’d put
a veil over the last five years.
“In the seasons when Milan
made history, they didn’t need
to search for players, to scout.
They used to buy the best
players without thinking
about how much they
were paying. Recently
when they have had
to go into the market
with a set budget,
everyone can see
the difference.
We hope for more help from
the investors. The future [of
the club] depends on it.”
Berlusconi’s preference has
been to sell to fellow Italians,
although interest from China
emerged in the spring.
Chinese investors agreed
a takeover of city rivals Inter
Milan last
month,
which
at least provided some hope
for the Nerazzurri after an
awful period on the field.
The club have now failed
to qualify for the Champions
League for five successive
seasons, with early promise in
2015-16 eventually fading as
they slid to a fourth-placed
finish, piling the pressure on
coach Roberto Mancini.
The former Lazio and
Manchester City boss
is Inter’s seventh
coach since they won
the Treble under Jose
Mourinho in 2010.

MILAN
Indonesian entrepreneur
Erick Thohir helped to partly
rebuild after the Nerazzurri’s
nadir, a ninth-placed finish
in 2012-13, modernising the
club’s management structure
and employing some sharp
business minds off the field,
but on it the team remains
unsuccessful and incoherent.
“Milan couldn’t spend but
Inter have spent a lot and
very badly,” says Ganz, who
played for both San Siro sides.
Geoffrey Kondogbia - bought
for €31 million - and Stevan
Jovetic have struggled to find
their best form, while Xherdan
Shaqiri departed Italy almost
as quickly as he arrived.
One player who has been far
more successful has been 2012
signing from Udinese, Samir
Handanovic, a steady presence
in the Inter goal whose form
earned links to Barcelona and
Manchester United before he
inked a new three-year deal
in January – although that has
not prevented
more rumours
of a move to
the French
champions,
PSG.
Czech Republic Top flight officials Marek Pilny and Jiri Jech were banned after appearing drunk during a game. The staggering Pilny fell over; Jech urinated behind the goal
A penalty king, the Slovenian
saved six spot-kicks in a row at
one point and is now only two
stops shy of matching Gianluca
Pagliuca’s Serie A record of 24.
“I joined Inter Milan at a time
when there was a changing of
the guard, in terms of a new
generation of players and the
club’s ownership,” Handanovic
tells FFT. “It’s a unique, special
club. There has been a huge
turnover in the playing staff
and a new approach will take
time. It’s only natural that you
struggle at times with such
a massive turnover of players.
“It has been strange, but
every team goes through
unsuccessful periods in
football. It’s happened
to Manchester United,
Liverpool and AC Milan.
You can’t expect to see
changes overnight, as
it takes years to build
a team that’s able
to compete at
the top. The
club are
working
towards
that.
P L A N E T FO OT B A L L
“There’s always pressure
when you want to compete for
big prizes. A club like Inter has
to compete year in, year out.” “Altogether now… the
Whether Inter will be ready wheels on the bus…”
to compete for that big prize
Ultras really
in 2016-17 remains to be seen.
Securing a long-awaited return
to the Champions League is one
are getting
thing, overhauling dominant
Juventus to win the Scudetto
could be quite another.
Italy’s last three European
younger
champions may have been
Milanese, but it will require
a sizeable power shift in Serie
A before either of the city’s
clubs see days like that again.
Second-tier success is child’s play
for Spain’s four-year-old superfan
Budding football fan Paula megaphone, even though
may only be four years old, they were just feet away.
but that hasn’t stopped her Things got even more
from leading the way with bizarre after Alcorcon beat
a megaphone at Alcorcon. Leganes 2-0. “She took to
When the Spanish Segunda the field once again and then
Division outfit invited their started singing, it really was
fans to watch the team’s a rather funny day,” Gil adds,
final training session before possibly wondering whether
a key clash against rivals the whole thing had been
Leganes, the ultra group’s some sort of weird dream.
motivator-in-chief was Alcorcon have no plans to
a little bit younger than
anyone expected. Armed
with a megaphone, Paula
belted out chants for the
initially confused Alkor
Hooligans to join in with.
“We didn’t know who
she was,” explained
the journalist Aimara
Garteizgoxeascoa Gil of the draft her in as a motivational
Alcorcon Sport website. “The coach at this stage – but
hooligans had stayed behind having just missed out on
to cheer the team on, and the play-offs and a chance
this girl just appeared with of promotion to La Liga for
a megaphone. Everybody the first time in the club’s
started going mental.” 45-year history, they could
Such was her popularity probably do worse than call
that a #FansDePaula hashtag upon Paula’s inspirational
soon took hold on Twitter, powers again next season.
Words Simon Harrison
and she was soon given the Just as long as she sticks
opportunity to head to the to usual chants. These days
dressing room and cheer the the ultras are a bit shaky on
players on personally (above) the lyrics to Humpty Dumpty
– still shouting through the and Hickory Dickory Dock.
FourFourTwo.com August 2016 103
 
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 VISIT US ONLINE
fourfourtwo.com/performance

WHERE PROS REVEAL THE SECRETS OF THEIR GAME

TRUST
YOUR
GUT p shake
or a pint? So do you listen to your head
or your heart? Neither. There’s another
voice you should be lending an ear to...

With the sun blazing and the
smell of a sizzling barbecue
wafting through the air, running
laps around the local park isn’t
too high on your to-do list.
Cue internal slanging match. Do
it. No. Get up and go. No. Move it
you lazy so-and-so. No. Argh!
Which voice should you listen to?
But why should you be listening
to the muffin top hanging over
your skin-tight shorts? Surely you
can’t be depending on the bulge’s
judgement – that’s the thing that
the coach will be prodding with
disappointment when you return
for the first day of pre-season.
“Your gut holds a lifetime of

Words Alec Fenn; Performance editor Ben Welch

The one in your stomach, of course.
“Your gut has its own nervous
system, just like the brain,” says
UCLA professor of physiology,
psychiatry and biobehavioural
sciences, Emeran Mayer.
“Ninety per cent of the messages
between the brain and the gut are
sent from the gut to the brain, so
a large part of our emotions are
actually controlled by the gut.”
learned experiences which enable
you to make quick decisions when
all the relevant information isn’t
available to the conscious mind,”
says Melody Wilding, an adjunct
professor of human behaviour
at Hunter College in New York.
Now put down that burger, leave
the beers in the fridge and lace up
your boots, ready for a run. Why?
Because your gut told you to.

THE FOURFOURTWO PERFORMANCE PANEL

Meet the experts available to answer your questions about every aspect of the game

MASTERCLASS NUTRITION PRO TIPS FITNESS

Hector Bellerin
Arsenal’s lightning
quick full-back
The Spaniard on how to become the
ultimate modern-day defender by
adding extra pace to your game.
Gavin Allinson
Top sports
nutritionist
Consume the correct meals for your
body type and hit your fitness targets
with a little help from our food expert.
Arda Turan
Barcelona and Turkey’s
dynamic midfielder
The Catalans’ pass master reveals the
secrets to finding time and space to
create chances for your team-mates.
Chris Edmundson
Elite strength and
conditioning coach
Our fitness guru helps you ease back
into pre-season and avoid injuries
with his fun, but challenging circuit.
PERFORMANCE
NO PAIN,
MUCH GAIN
A study of players feigning
injury in 183 elite-level games
learned that teams with the
most to gain from stopping
a match ‘suffered’ more minor
injuries in the final 15 minutes
than teams chasing the game.
10 THINGS
WE’VE LEARNED THIS MONTH
DON’T JUMP!
How you sprint and jump isn’t
key to becoming a pro player,
according to an 18-year study
in Spain. Research from 235
reserve players found that only
centre-backs who scored high
in the tests were most likely
to graduate to the first team.
Studies and authors: Ohio State University Medical Center, USA (‘We was robbed’); The Wellington Hospital / www.simonmoyes.com (‘Dog days are yoga’); University of Gothenburg, Sweden (‘Sing when you’re chilling’);
Evolution and Human Behavior (‘Fear the fuzz’); Department of Psychology, National University of Singapore (‘No pain, much gain’); University of the Basque Country, Spain (‘Don’t jump!’); Loughborough University (‘Salt it out’);
Sport and Exercise Sciences Research Unit, University of Palermo, Italy (‘Pitch perfect’); Sports Medicine Research Center, Tehran University of Medical Sciences, Iran (‘You’re not fit to referee’); Loughborough University (‘Hit the bottle’)
WE WAS
ROBBED
The emotions felt by fans during
games have been likened to those of
someone being robbed – with similar
stress-hormone release and heart
palpitations – triggering sleep
disturbance, indigestion and an
increase in levels of the potentially
dangerous cortisol in the blood.
DOG DAYS SALT
ARE YOGA IT OUT SING WHEN
Yoga moves such as the downward Salt may be bad for you in the eyes YOU’RE CHILLING
dog could help stop football players of health gurus, but nutritionists are If your team is tearing your
from picking up crippling knee advising footballers to make sure that nerves to shreds, joining in with
injuries. UK specialist surgeon Simon they’re not missing out. Some experts the chanting could calm you
Moyes has called for more footballers suggest that adding a little extra salt down. Researchers have found
to get involved with yoga in a bid to to food and drinks - and using the the ‘choir-like’ singing of songs
maintain flexibility and prevent higher-sodium version of sports ‘imposes a regular breathing
career-ending knee knack. drinks - may reduce cramping. pattern on participants’.
HIT THE FEAR PITCH PERFECT
BOTTLE THE FUZZ A study involving 80 football
A report has concluded that a better Bearded footballers may be more players over the course of 83
intake of fluid and fuel during a game intimidating to clean-shaven opponents, hours of matches and training
may not only ensure that players run according to evolutionary researchers. sessions, in which injuries were
further and faster in the second half of Experts have claimed that male ‘primates’ recorded according to playing
a match - but also help to maintain develop loud ‘badges’ such as beards to surface, found that artificial
skills and judgement when players enhance sexual attractiveness to females turf pitches do not appear to
would otherwise become fatigued. and give them an edge over other males. contribute to injury incidence.
YOU’RE NOT FIT
TO REFEREE
Fitter referees aren’t necessarily
better ones. Following a study of all
78 referees and assistants officiating
games in the Iranian Premier League
over a full season, researchers found
no correlation between their fitness,
BMI and body-fat levels and their
FIFA assessment scores.
 PERFORMANCE

[ You ask, we answer ]

Stamp your authority

Keep getting shut down by the opposition? Barcelona’s schemer tells you how to find space
“I love getting on the
ball, but I struggle
to find enough time
and room to play my
game. Can you help?”
Tim Wilson, via Twitter

Arda Turan
Barcelona midfielder
& Turkey captain

“Start by dividing the field into

three areas. Keep it simple in the
first two by controlling the ball
and making quick passes – then
play with freedom in the final
third. This is where you create
chances and score goals.
If you think you’re going to lose
possession, try and put yourself
between the defender and the ball.
You might force them into making

Did you
a foul, buying your team some time.
If you’re struggling to get into the
game, drop deeper to receive the
knoew ? g
adin
ball off full-backs and centre-backs. a s le
son
ur s er’s
There will be more room and less In the fo urkish midfield July
eT a in
up to th move to Barç r
chance of you giving the ball away. lion d playe
€34 mil Atletico Madri sing
Most importantly, look for space 0 15 , n o tte r pa s
2 oast be uran’s
between midfield and attack. You could b a Liga than T 27
u ra cy in L to tal of 1
won’t be a top player if you can’t do acc om a
cent, fr Rojiblan
cos
this. At Barcelona, Lionel Messi and 84 per for the
games
Neymar mostly use this space, but
Andres Iniesta, Ivan Rakitic and
myself always look for openings.
When the opposition man-mark
Interview Recep Ozerin

you it can be more difficult to do

this. In this situation I roam around Shield the ball
the pitch to lose my marker. If he to keep your team
follows me, then the opposition’s in control, says Arda
defensive structure will be broken.”

“Next season I’m going to be making the Preparation is really important,

switch from winger to full-back. How do
I go about adapting to the new position?”
Ryan Briggs, via Twitter
Kenedy
Chelsea’s versatile
Brazilian starlet
“Sometimes you think you play
better as a striker, but then
Interview Felipe Rocha
If you want to be a complete
footballer, you need to have an
open mind about playing in more
than one position. Then you need
the flexibility and intelligence to
make the switch during a game.
too. It’s always useful to get as
much information on board as you
can, and that goes for any position.
My natural position is as a striker,
so I like to know who is going to be
marking me beforehand. Will I be
facing a strong or fast defender?
As a defender I think it’s even
more important to do my research,
so that I’m prepared before I play

a manager discovers you have
the potential to be an effective
playmaker or defensive-minded
midfielder. They might be right,
so you have to listen to them.
It’s important you start watching
defenders and their positioning –
then you need to do some extra
defensive training and tactical
work to get a feel for the role.
in a position that I’m not used to.
Doing your homework will help to
ensure you make the right decisions
on the pitch. These small details
can be decisive during a game.”
Left-back Kenedy used
his attacking instincts
to net against Norwich

FourFourTwo.com/Performance August 2016 107

 C TOR
E
H LERIN
BEL
B N AY
DER CK
MO A
F A
an
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a
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u
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icism, umen – you eed

Arsen
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c
tical a ant to suc l’s
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t if yo
the lo flank, says aniard
on the neering Sp
bucca

1 Be versatile
Attackers can make the best defenders
“At Barcelona I was a winger, but when I joined Arsenal
they moved me to right-back. I thought that I would be
better in an attacking role, but Steve Bould and Bacary
Sagna helped me to adapt to the new position, which
was key. Talking to two top-class defenders who really
know the role offered fantastic insight. I also used my
experience as an attacker to help make the switch –
I know the positions on the pitch that wingers prefer to
take up and what areas they want to play in.”
4 Don’t skip leg day
Build bigger, stronger pins
“I’m naturally very quick, but I do lots of extra gym
work with the coaches at Arsenal to help improve my
speed. Squats, single-leg squats and split squats have
Interview Andrew Murray
improved the strength of my legs over time. I also work
on my running technique, and the way my knees and
hips move. It’s the same type of training that Olympic
sprinters do, but you can apply it to football just as
easily. If you do the same thing then you can get
quicker, even if you’re not a naturally fast player.”
PRO
TIP CRA
PICK
Add some extra power
and pace to your game
with this advice from
Interview Alec Fenn
the former Team GB
100m, 200m and
relay sprinter
PERFORMANCE
2 Pick your moments 3 Use the overlap
Time your attack to perfection Get beyond your winger
“As a right-back the most important part of your job “The movement of the right winger on your team is
is knowing when it’s best to attack and when it’s safer really important if you want to be an attacking threat
to hold your position and defend. You often see players from right-back. It’s up to him to work alongside you
get caught high up the pitch, which then leaves them to create space down the flanks. Overlapping the
vulnerable to the counter-attack. If you sprint down winger on the outside is the most effective way of
the wing and your team loses possession in midfield, opening up the defence from a wide area, because
the opposing winger will have plenty of space to attack if you decide to run infield instead, there’s less space
into. You need to make sure you are alert at all times and a lot more players crowded into a small area.
to avoid leaving yourself exposed defensively.” This increases the chances of you losing possession.”
5 Try different sports 6 Train the brain
Be open to alternative techniques Gain a psychological advantage
“I only competed in track and field once when I was “I had a youth coach at Barcelona called Victor
at school because it wasn’t very popular back home Sanchez who taught me about the importance of the
in Spain. However, I did play a lot of basketball, in mental side of the game. He told me stories about life
addition to football, which has helped to make me and advised the squad which books we should read.
a much better footballer as they’re similar sports. We won the Nike Premier Cup at under-15 level and it
Taking part in a number of different sports can really was then that I realised how much having a positive
improve your co-ordination and ability to move in mindset and clear goals can help you achieve success.
different directions. This is important if you want to If you educate yourself and then apply that intelligence
have a long career in football, or any other sport.” on the pitch, it can lead to improved performances.”
“If you want to run faster you
need to tweak your technique.
Improving leg strength is crucial,
so focus on the back and front
jump explosively, you would suit
a higher load and lower reps - so
Footballers often let their
foot hang loose when they
squat. Start off with three sets of
8-10 repetitions to build up your
try five sets of five reps instead.
A player whose game is based
sprint, whereas sprinters general strength, and then tailor more on endurance would be
keep it tense, producing sets and reps to suit your position. better off doing three sets of 15
more force when they hit For example, if you’re a winger reps with moderate weight.
the floor. This change and your game is based on power As your strength improves, try
can make a big and making lots of sprints, or some single-leg exercises such as
difference. you’re a defender who needs to Bulgarian split squats or step-ups.”
FourFourTwo.com/Performance August 2016 109
 PERFORMANCE

[ Fitness ]

TRANSFORM
YOUR GAME
Sculpting a pitch-ready body for next season? Whatever your shape, we’ve got you covered

THE THE THE

SKINNY MAN BIG LAD BEEFCAKE

Spend hours in the gym but can’t put on weight? It’s OK, we understand. You’re just ‘big boned’. Do you bend over to tie your shoelaces and sprout
Chances are you’re an ectomorph. “You’ve a fast “Endomorphs have a slow metabolism and a six-pack? Halabi says: “Some people are blessed
metabolism, which means you burn more calories therefore a tendency to store body fat,” says with muscle mass and low body fat. They process
at rest,” says conditioning coach Karl Halabi. Halabi. “They can put on weight very easily.” food well and respond quickly to weight training.”

Gain muscle Lose the spare tyre Maximise your gains

THE WORKOUT

THE WORKOUT

THE WORKOUT

“Compound lifts like squats, “Try two minutes running at 75 Halabi says: “Kettlebell exercises
deadlifts and clean and jerks per cent of top speed,” says Halabi. and Olympic lifts [the snatch,
use multiple muscle groups and “Rest for two minutes, repeat five and the clean and jerk] will
stimulate an increase in testosterone,” times. By doing high intensity interval training, maximise a gifted athlete’s potential by
explains Halabi. “This will help build muscle.” you’ll be burning calories long after you finish.” improving power, strength and speed.”

Bulk up Get lean Boost recovery

NUTRITION

NUTRITION

NUTRITION

“Consume 500 calories more per day,” “Cut back on carbs like rice, potatoes or pasta,” “Training burdens the immune system,”
says sports nutritionist Gavin Allinson. explains Allinson. “A spinach and mushroom says Allinson. “Eat lots of fruit and veg.
“Try a protein and carb shake, followed omelette, or salmon and stir Red cabbage, beetroot, carrots and
by chicken and rice with peanut sauce.” fried veg, are good options.” squash will all aid your recovery.”

STYLE STYLE STYLE

Advice Advice Advice
GET ON THE SCALES BE REALISTIC CHALLENGE YOURSELF
“Weigh yourself once “Don’t set any big “Organise a holiday or
a week on the exact GET FITTED weight-loss goals DRESS TO YOUR photo shoot and give FLAUNT IT
same scales,” advises “Buy yourself a slim-fit which seem so far out STRENGTHS yourself 12 weeks to “You can get away
Ricky Hatton’s former suit and use different of reach,” says Kayes. “If you’re not tall, avoid get in perfect shape,” with pretty much
Words Alec Fenn

nutritionist Kerry Kayes. colours,” says fashion and “Set small, achievable wide trousers or slim-fit recommends Kayes. anything,” adds Khan.
“The gains will be much lifestyle stylist Jerry Khan. weekly targets of one clothing,” Khan says. “That way you’ll stay “Try a skinny or tailored
more noticeable and “Charcoal and a lighter or two pounds to help “A single-breasted jacket focused and won’t take fit suit to emphasise
help to boost morale.” shirt will work well.” you stay motivated.” will flatter your shape.” your body for granted.” your fine physique.”

110 August 2016 FourFourTwo.com/Performance

 PERFORMANCE

[ Health ]

WAYS

3 TO
BREATHE
EASY
Nobody wants to spend pre-season panting
like a dog. These simple breathing techniques
will help you take control of your tiring lungs

1 Bend over
Have you ever laughed at
the fat guy bent double trying to catch
his breath five minutes into a 90-minute
game? Prepare to wipe that smug grin
off your face, because the joke’s on you.
Why? Well, scientists at Western
Washington University decided to find
out the most effective way of reducing
heart rate in between bouts of exercise.
The boffins tested participants stood
upright with their hands behind their
head and another group who were bent
over with their hands on their knees.
The results were conclusive. It turns
out that bending down while gasping for
air brings down heart rate 22 beats per
minute faster than staying upright.
And guess what? One of sport’s
biggest icons – basketball legend
Michael Jordan – spent his entire career
doing exactly that. Add it to your game
and you too could breathe like a baller.

2 Put your lungs to work

It’s time to enroll at
a very different kind of gym – one
without barbells and beefcakes.
Professor Alison McConnell is the
creator of Breathe Strong Training –
a programme designed to improve the
strength of your respiratory system.
She uses a range of breathing
trainers – the equivalent of dumbbells
for your diaphragm – to add resistance
to your breathing, just like when you
are doing bicep curls in the gym.
Inhaling air through the training
device as fast as possible and exhaling
over three to four seconds can help
boost your on-pitch performance.
“You need to train twice a day – 30
breaths each session – to stress your
respiratory system enough for it to
3 Breathe through your nose
If you want to be good
at anything, you’ve got to master the
technique. Free-kicks, penalties – it
doesn’t matter. Success is dependent
on the efficiency of the execution.
Breathing is no different. So get your
tekkers right and you’ll be motoring past
opponents when the pressure’s on.
Inhaling through your nose has
a host of benefits. “Breathing through
your nasal passage can increase CO2
saturation in the blood and slow down
your breathing – both create a calming
effect,” says Dr Roy Sugarman, director
of applied neuroscience for EXOS.
Don’t even think about gasping
for air like a fish out of water, either.
Orthodontist Dr Yosh Jefferson explains
that this “irritates the tonsils which can
Words Alec Fenn

grow,” says McConnell. “In one study then cause a blockage in your airways”.
five minutes of training per day for That’s the last thing you need when
four weeks improved the displays of you’re a wheezing mess, willing the ref
cyclists in time trials by five per cent. to blow his whistle and end the agony.

FourFourTwo.com/Performance August 2016 111

 PERFORMANCE

[ Fitness ]

The Pistol
“Stand on one leg and put
your arms and other leg out
in front of you,” advises Chris
START
EARLY,
SERVE
gym-free
squats Edmundson, former Blackpool
conditioning coach. “Lower
yourself until your
UP ACE
REST
standing leg 2016-17
off-season
SETS 5-8 PERIOD
REPS 5-8 1-2 MINS is at 90
degrees, Make sure you
then return are ready to hit

workout
to the start position.” your peak when
the campaign
kicks off with
FFT’s summer
Ditch the bench presses and the training tips
barbells. Ease your way back into
shape in five easy-to-follow steps

“Stand on one leg and bend “Ask a friend to hold your

Single leg forwards while bracing your Nordic ankles and gradually lower
Romanian core until your head and hamstring yourself towards the floor,
deadlifts non-standing leg are in curls contracting your hamstrings
a straight line,” says and core,” says Edmundson.
Edmundson. “That “Place your hands on the floor OFF-SEASON:
REST REST
SETS 5-8 PERIOD leg must be straight SETS 5-8 PERIOD to avoid hitting your face, “Both physically and
REPS 5-8 1-2 MINS REPS 5-8 1-2 MINS
to really work your then return to the start mentally it’s good to
hamstrings.” position.” have 10-14 days of
complete rest,” says
FA fitness expert Matt
Portas. “Try some light
tennis if you get the
itch to get active.”
 
PRE-SEASON:
WEEK 1-2
“Ease back into it with
some simple ball drills.
Work on a large pitch to
slowly build up a base
level of endurance.”
 
“This exercise will challenge “Stand about two feet PRE-SEASON:
Bear your core,” Edmundson says. Box in front of a sturdy box WEEK 3-4
crawl “Get on all fours, raise your jumps or stool no higher than “Step up your training
knees off the ground and then knee height and with explosive work.
Small-sided games –
stand on your tiptoes, keeping jump as high as
2v2 and 3v3 in small
REST your back straight. Crawl REST you can, landing
PERIOD PERIOD spaces will really help
SETS 5 forward for two minutes per SETS 3 2 MINS on the box with
1-2 MINS to test your engine.”
PER SET
set, maintaining this position.” both feet – then step  
Words Alec Fenn; Illustrations Jason Pickersgill

carefully off the box PRE-SEASON:

WEEK 5-6
and repeat,” explains
“Organise a friendly
Edmundson. “Swing match among your
your arms upwards as squad, or play against
you jump as doing that lesser opposition and
will allow you to gain slowly increase the
quality as you work
more elevation.”
your way back up
towards full fitness.”

112 August 2016 FourFourTwo.com/Performance


[ Recovery ]
You won’t catch FourFourTwo sunbathing in
between double sessions this summer. Oh no.
We stripped down to our underpants and
braved a Whole Body Cryotherapy chamber
to help sooth some of our aching limbs. Brrrr!
What is it?
A recovery method used by professional
footballers to accelerate rehabilitation
from injuries and ease muscle soreness.
How does it work?
Athletes stand in a chamber exposing
their bodies to extreme temperatures as
low as -85C, wearing little else but their
underpants for up to six minutes. Fun.
Who uses it?
Champions League winners Cristiano
Ronaldo and Franck Ribery, plus Zlatan
Ibrahimovic, have all been willing to
feel the chill in the name of fitness.
“SO.S. please
someone help me”
Why are they using it?
The cold causes your body to go into
shock mode. Blood vessels narrow to
reduce circulation and protect internal
organs. When you step out, blood rich
in anti-inflammatory substances floods
the body, breaking down lactic acid.
How much does it cost?
CR7 splashed out £36,000 on his,
but you can save yourself a few
quid by spending £50 on a single
session at the BMI Hendon Hospital.
Does it really work?
Always at your service, FourFourTwo
decided to pop along and find out…
Wooly hat? Check. Surgical mask?
Check. Gloves? Yep. Socks? Got it. Navy
blue crocs?! Looking like Mr Muscle’s
anaemic cousin, FFT stepped towards
a swirling, whirring blur of biting cold.
Minus 85 degrees can’t be that bad.
Sure, it’s colder than Antarctica, but
this was important research.
At least we had Rihanna for company.
No, she wasn’t taking part in a twin
session. Cryotherapy users are able to
plug their headphones into a dock and
play music inside the chamber. We can
confirm that Caribbean vocals do very
little to thaw out frozen chest hair.
PERFORMANCE
RED
SO
CEN
“When you said
we were going
to an ice bar...”
“It might
feel a bit
nippy”
The first minute was a frantic battle Triumphantly, we emerged - mission
for breath. What’s wrong with hot yoga? completed and feeling invigorated as
The photographer smirked on the other the blood rushed back through the
side of the glass in the nice warm room. old capillaries. For 48 hours, FFT felt
A bit of macho posturing helped pass refreshed, revitalised and ready to
the time... for another 60 seconds. get stuck into back-to-back games.
The finish line slowly neared. Was VERDICT: Cryo is the real deal.
hypothermia imminent? And would
Words Alec Fenn
frostbite be claiming a few toes? The RECOVERY RATING
cold does wonders for the imagination.
At last, a knock at the door signalled
the end of this three-minute torture.
FourFourTwo.com/Performance August 2016 113
 SUNDAY
LEAGUEL DRESSING ROOM
SURVIVA INITIATIONS
GUIDE
THE ESSENTIALS
Transferred to a new club this summer? Warm up your vocal
chords and practise your chat-up lines as we prepare you
for the very worst of welcomes from your team-mates

4
1
3

1. Belt out a winning 2. Watch your clothes 3. Whisper sweet 4. Outlast the
solo performance go up in flames nothings to a mop wall of silence
Words Alec Fenn; Illustration Bill McConkey

NOTABLE VICTIM Andriy Shevchenko
was made to sing in front of his Chelsea
team-mates on the Blues’ tour of the
USA. They pelted him with bread rolls.
SURVIVAL TIP “Remember, nerves are
only adrenaline,” says public-speaking
expert Simon Bucknall. “Put your chin
down and take two deep breaths from
your stomach before you start.”
NOTABLE VICTIM Wimbledon’s
Crazy Gang tested the humour of John
Hartson by torching his brand new suit,
before soaking the charred remains in
a puddle and letting down his car tyres.
SURVIVAL TIP “If you’ve got a bad
temper, walk away from the situation,”
says clinical psychologist Isabel Clarke.
“Exercise can defuse feelings of anger.”
NOTABLE VICTIM Nicky Butt was
forced to chat up a mop in front of Man
United’s first team while David Beckham
had to, er, get up close and personal
with a photo of Clayton Blackmore.
SURVIVAL TIP “Just throw yourself
into it,” says confidence coach Martin
Perry. “You’ll earn respect. Being out of
your comfort zone will give you a boost.”
NOTABLE VICTIM Gerd Muller’s Bayern
Munich team-mates refused to speak to
him for two weeks. A round of applause
marked the end of his initiation period.
SURVIVAL TIP “If you’re shut out by
your team-mates, have a laugh with
your coach and get to know him – it
might help you get a place in the team,”
says sports psychologist Richard Nugent.

114 August 2016 FourFourTwo.com/Performance

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 FREE EXCLUSIVE
NUMBER PLATE
FOR SALE
To receive a FREE programme plus a copy
of our latest catalogue (listing several Outstanding investment opportunity
thousand different mint condition Big to invest in an appreciating asset
Match, League, Scottish, Irish, Foreign previously owned by legends of
and Non-League teams programmes etc.) the game.
please send your name and address to:
STEVE EARL FOOTBALL PROGRAMMES (DEPT.FFT) £125,000
BROAD STREET, BUNGAY, SUFFOLK, NR35 1AH, ENGLAND
If interested call: Anders Mankert
or phone 01986 892621 or visit www.footballprogs.co.uk
on 07764 274300 or email
The 2016 Euro Tournament & Final Programmes £12 each (inc. p&p)
(Credit/Debit Cards & PayPal accepted)
andersmankert@yahoo.co.uk

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 MY PERFECT XI

Tim Cahill
Australia’s all-time top goalscorer selects a side comprising the best
players he has come up against over 18 years with club and country

GK  MANUEL NEUER LB ROBERTO CARLOS AM RONALDINHO

What he’s done for both Bayern and
Germany has been class – he changed
the perception of what a keeper can do.
I played against him at the 2010 World
Cup, but not for long as I was sent off.
I played against him at the 2006 World
Cup. As a defender he had strength and
speed, but he could then burn you going
forward as well. He’s one of the hardest
strikers of a free-kick I have ever seen.
An absolute magician with his close
control. I can remember thinking that
I would be able to get the ball off him, SUBSTITUTES
but he just had this bag of tricks that
would make you look foolish. Every time.

RB PHILIPP LAHM CM STEVEN GERRARD RW CRISTIANO RONALDO

He’s been named in the team of the
tournament at every World Cup I’ve
played in. He’s versatile and has made
a career as a defender despite being
undersized – something I really admire.
CB FABIO CANNAVARO
He wasn’t particularly tall, but he was so
strong, solid, and tactically aware. You
couldn’t beat him in the air so you’d try
and beat him on the ground, but he’d
then position himself to shut you down.
I had several tough Merseyside derby
battles against him when he was one of
the very best midfielders in the Premier
League. The complete footballer, who
always played with passion and dignity.
CM PAUL SCHOLES
As a Manchester United fan growing up,
I had long admired him. There’s a great
photograph of him sliding into a tackle
on me from when I played against him
about 10 years ago, which I really love.
I first faced Cristiano in the 2004 FA Cup
Final with Millwall, when he was starting
to make his name at Old Trafford. He did
score that day, but I mostly remember
his combination of speed and control.
1
LW ALEXIS SANCHEZ DENNIS BERGKAMP
I played against him at the 2014 World My Premier League career
Cup. It was our first match, and both he began near the end of his
and Chile were quick out of the blocks. time at Arsenal. He was still
He’s incredibly strong on the ball, but a force to be reckoned with.
also so quick with the ball at his feet.

CB NEMANJA VIDIC CF THIERRY HENRY

Every time we played, we would go hard When I played for Everton and went up
at one another. We were in each other’s GK against him at Arsenal, he’d kill us – no
pockets, with elbows, pushing, fouls and one could mark him. His pace was
grappling. He was a dangerous player, pure jet propulsion. It was an honour
and just brilliant at marking you tight.
MANUEL
NEUER
to play with him for New York Red Bulls.
2
RB CB CB LB YAYA TOURE
That engine combined with
his skillset makes Yaya an
incredibly tough opponent.
PHILIPP FABIO NEMANJA ROBERTO
LAHM CANNAVARO VIDIC CARLOS

CM CM

AM

STEVEN
GERRARD
PAUL
SCHOLES
3
RW LW RYAN GIGGS
RONALDINHO The consummate all-round
midfielder who I have long
admired for his longevity.

MANAGER

DAVID MOYES
CRISTIANO CF ALEXIS He was my boss at Everton
RONALDO SANCHEZ for eight years, and is the
man I would
nt to put in
arge of my
m team. A top
Interview Sam Pilger

THIERRY ager who has

HENRY so remained
a close friend
outside of
football.

YOUR NEXT FOURFOURTWO IS ON SALE AUGUST 3