The Bad Days Count Too

“Everything happens for a reason.” A quote from my mom that constantly runs through

my mind when it feels like my life is falling apart in a matter of seconds. I am submerged in

confusion, anger, sorrow, and despair. “Why did this happen to me? Was it my fault? How long

will these feelings last?” These were the emotions and questions stuck in my mind when I was in

first grade and my dad passed away. It was grueling to understand as a child, but it shaped me

into the man I am and hope to be.

It was a cool, early morning on January 11, 2009. Christmas was a few weeks prior, and

everyone was still in the cheerful, holiday spirit. I woke up, excited to play with my toys that

Santa had given me, oblivious to what was going on two rooms over. As I walked down the hall

to say good morning to my mom and dad, I had a feeling something was wrong. I was puzzled

when I walked into the room to see my mom pushing down continuously on my dad’s chest. In a

shaky yet calm voice, my mom told me to go to unlock the front door for the paramedics. I

bolted downstairs, still unaware of what was going on, and unlocked the door. No more than a

few minutes had passed before a sea of paramedics flooded into my house and stormed upstairs

to my mom and dad’s room. One of the paramedics took me into the living room and watched

me play with my toys while the rest of them rushed my dad to the hospital in hopes of

resurrecting him.

Days which felt like years had passed, tears were shed throughout the night, and loved

ones were called. Hearing my mom bawling on the phone while family friends tried to distract

me from the situation is something I would never wish upon anyone. At the funeral, I vividly

remember standing alone watching relatives throw dirt into his grave. I felt alone. I felt lost. I felt
beaten. Someone came up to me and told me that I looked just like my father. That’s when I

knew that he was gone. Forever.

It has been a decade since my dad left us, but it hasn’t done anything but strengthen

myself and my family. I no longer look up to God and ask, “Why me?” Instead, I look up and

say, “Thank you.” I know this pivotal moment helped me grow and learn, but it didn’t happen

overnight. Time and patience healed the wounds better than any band aid could. I was

enlightened by the fact that I can’t take anything for granted, and that it is okay to show your

emotions.

Throughout this hardship, I adapted to the situation and made sure to always do the very

best for my family, friends, and most importantly, me. I know that life will always teach me

lessons, whether I realize them right away or years down the road. I still talk to my dad

everyday, and I know he is looking down and saying, “Everything happens for a reason, Son.”