Tonya Miller

Dr. Cathy Moore

English l1113
11/04/2019
The Positive and Negatives of Family

As a child I had believed it was all easy. When I was hungry there was food or when I

was bored there would be something to do. But as I started maturing things slowly changed.

Watching my parents struggle to put food on the table every day slowly entered my vision. I was

no longer able to ignore situations that happened around me. Now, as an adult, I can look back

and see the struggle in full view. I can see how different situations with my family made me the

very person I am today.

From the beginning, I always noticed how strong my mother was. She was determined to

do the very best for our family no matter what. Many points in my youth, she would work two

jobs and stay awake after a long shift just to see me. We were her priority and even if she only

slept a few hours a day she would spend time with us between jobs. Her determination to

succeed for our family is something I will always cherish and strive to duplicate.

Even though my mother always tried her best for us does not mean others did as well.

Growing up, I had five older brothers that were only concerned for their own wellbeing. After

school, I would come home to find the house filled with smoke that was coming from their

rooms. While they were babysitting me, they would have girls in their rooms with no idea of

what was happening on the other side of the door. One specific memory I have is one of my

brothers falling asleep in bed with a cigarette. Memories like these make me more responsible

with what is going on around me and to have more consideration for others.

Sadly, my brothers were not the only negative influence in my life. Since I was adopted,

my father’s side of the family decided that I was not really theirs. This was apparent because at
Tonya Miller
Dr. Cathy Moore
English l1113
11/04/2019
family gatherings, I would be shunned to the back of the kids’ section and left without goodies

everyone else had. Many of my childhood memories at my grandmother’s house are filled with

tricks and teasing that ended with me hiding until I was due to be picked up. As an adult, I sadly

have little to no relationship with any of these people, but I can say that because of them I make

sure to include everyone in everything. I have found that I reach out and befriend many people

that others think “undesirable”.

Whether influences are positive or negative, they happen. It is what we do with them that

makes the most difference in life. I always dislike thinking that much of my childhood was

depressing, so instead of seeing the negatives I try to flip it into what I can learn from it. Yes, my

father’s family might not have been the nicest to me, but instead of always being sour about it, I

try to refrain from acting like them. This also goes along with my brothers’ carelessness when it

came to our family. The person I am today is strong, confident, and caring. This is all true

because of my family and how they influenced the changes in my life.