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Mallory Rosenberg

Professor Loudermilk

English Composition 1102

29 March 2020

The Secrets of Social Media

Days filled with careless fun, laughter, and no worries seems like days from the past. It

seems like when I was younger I could roll out of bed, have a fun day with friends, and not have

a care in the world. I wasn’t worried about if my hair was perfect, my clothes were perfect, my

smile was perfect – I just wanted to have a fun, carefree day. It seems like now perfection is part

of happiness. There are filters now to hide my imperfections. I need these filters on my camera to

disguise reality. Imperfection. Whether it is SnapChat, Instagram, Facebook or other platforms of

social media – they all have filters that allow its users to give the impression that everything is

perfect. The new way of life it to be perfect, or at least appear to be. Social media can affect

many different parts of your life without you even knowing. Social media can affect your sleep,

your happiness, cause bullying, lead to the development of anxiety and depression, cause

comparison, and be an addiction.

Independent explains, “Getting worked up with anxiety or envy from what we see on

social media keeps the brain on high alert, preventing us from falling asleep. Plus, the light from

our mobile device just inches from our face can suppress the release of melatonin, a hormone

that helps us feel tired” (Barr). This shows how even though we might not notice it, social media

is affecting our bodies. When one loses sleep, it can cause them to lose focus, feel grumpy and

groggy, and eventually affect our entire day. Sleep affects many different parts of our bodies. It

can affect our performance, our mind and focus, our social skills, and overall our health. When
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our bodies do not receive enough sleep, it can affect our immune system. Our immune system is

very important to keep us healthy and to fight off sickness. So, we must get the proper amount of

sleep to keep our bodies healthy.

Knowing how much social media can affect our sleep, we need to pay attention to our

social media use and how much time we spend on it. It is a good idea to stop the use of your

phone before you go to bed. Most researchers say about forty-five minutes to an hour before you

go to bed you should stop looking at your phone (Charles). This is so that the light from our

phone does not stimulate our brain and prohibit it from producing the sleep hormone melatonin.

It is also important to stay off of social media close to the time you go to bed. Social media can

get people worked up because for many people it is easy to get envious or compare yourself.

This allows anxiety and depression to come in and gets people stressed right before they go to

bed (Charles). Filling your mind with positive thoughts can help ease your mind as you get

yourself ready to sleep.

Another area that social media can affect is your happiness. Many times, we look to

social media to find our contentment, happiness, and pleasure. While social media is fun and

good for connecting with friends, it can also steal our happiness right away from us. Bailey

Parnell did a TedTalk called “Is Social Media Hurting Your Mental Health?” In this

presentation, she mentioned that “Social media is our personal highlight reel. It’s where we put

up our wins, or when we look great, or when we are out with friends and family” (Parnell). She

went on to quote a famous pastor, Steven Furtick, who said, “We struggle with insecurity

because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” These both

explain how social media can affect our happiness. It is easy to keeping scrolling and scrolling

and feel insecure about yourself because you don’t feel good enough or you think your life is a
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mess because it’s “not as good as” someone else’s. We can get into a pit of feeling bad about

ourselves which leads to insecurity. In the article Independent wrote about social media and

mental health, a doctor made a striking comment about how it affects our happiness. He went on

to say, “When we derive a sense of worth based on how we are doing relative to others, we place

our happiness in a variable that is completely beyond our control” (Barr).

Bailey continued talking about the struggle of insecurity because of social media. She

compared social media to currency, calling it “social currency”. Bailey explains how “these

likes, the comments, the shares, have become this form of social currency by which we attribute

value to something” (Parnell). We put so much value in the likes, comments, and shares we get.

Often, we look to those to find our worth and meaning. When we don’t feel like we’ve gotten

enough likes, we start to feel worthless or like a failure or meaningless. This continues to take

our happiness from us. We put so much value on what people think in say about us and when we

don’t feel enough value from that we become so insecure.

“We are the product. And we are letting others attribute value to us” (Parnell). It is

important to know these facts and statistics so that we are aware of how social can affect our

happiness. We must remember to not put our worth and value into social media. We cannot

expect it to produce the happiness and contentment we are looking for. I think it is important to

remind ourselves that we need to be happy and content with the life we have. We cannot

compare ourselves to others because that is when we lose our contentment and start seeking for

our worth in the wrong places. In the TedTalk, Bailey Parnell advises people to remove the

people who cause them to feel insecure from their friend lists on social media. This will help

people feel more satisfied and content with themselves and their life.
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Social media can also have an impact on us through bullying. Because many people are

on social media quite often, it is easy to get carried away. For younger social media users, they

can get bullied or taken advantage of. Sometimes, they do not know how to handle it so they

continue doing what the person is telling them to do. This can turn into a very vicious and

manipulative cycle. However, this is not the case for just young users. People who are a little

older can also get stuck in this because they want attention and to feel like they are needed. If

someone is manipulating them and harassing them, they might just comply so that they feel like

they have value. This can turn into a dangerous situation because the person can feel trapped and

like they can never get out of this cycle.

While this happens in other places than social media, it is very easy to access on social

media which makes it easier to do. Because you cannot physically see the other person, people

tend to say and do things they wouldn’t normally do in person. Not being able to physically see

the other person can cause people to be rude and hurt others easily. Bailey mentioned online

harassment in her TedTalk and stated that “40% of online adults have experienced online

harassment” (Parnell). This is a large number of people getting bullied and harassed when it can

be stopped. Bailey explains how people don’t quite notice that they are being harassed because it

starts with small parts. She said, “micro-moments happen over and over again and it can become

a macro problem”. (Parnell) This explains how over a long period, people can get manipulated

and bullied more and more.

We must be aware of how we can get harassed and manipulated so that we can do our

best to avoid it on social media. If it is a person you do not know, you must ask yourself

questions to know if you should continue that relationship. If something raises a red flag, it is

important to put a stop to the relationship immediatey. These pieces of advice sound like
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common sense, but when you feel like it just something small you might not feel like it is full

harassment, but it can lead to that. It is crucial to keep this in the back of your mind so that you

do not fall into a vicious cycle. We must keep ourselves aware of these things to keep our minds

and mental health healthy.

Social media has been proven to lead to the development of anxiety and depression.

Independent did a study and found that “41% of social media users have said they feel sadder or

depressed when using it” (Barr). Social media isn’t just something that affects teenagers, it also

can affect adults. Anyone who uses social media could end up having depression or anxiety

because of it. In Bailey Parnell’s TedTalk on mental health and social media, she also mentioned

anxiety and depression. She mentioned a study from The Canadian Association of Mental Health

and they found that children in grades 7-12 “who spent over two hours on social media, reported

higher depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts” (Parnell). This shows that the more time we

spend on social media, that it is more possible we will experience those feelings of anxiety and

depression.

Fig. 1 Screen Time Affecting Youth Mental Health

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Bailey went on to mention how people experience the fear of missing out, FOMO.

FOMO is actually a social anxiety that people can feel when they look on social media and

maybe see one of their friends having a party without them. This is when they can feel like they

are missing out. In the future, they will fear that they are always missing out because of the one

experience they missed out. Bailey explained that Canadian universities studied the fear of

missing out and found that “seven out of ten people would get rid of their social networking

accounts were it not for fear of being left out of the loop” (Parnell). This shows that the fear of

being left out impacts them so much that they refuse to get rid of their social media accounts.

They don’t want to miss out on the next new thing or their friends having a party without them or

to miss anything at all. They have such a fear of missing out, they refuse to get rid of social

media platforms.

We must remember that social media can have such a deep impact on our minds and

mental health. We have to remember to limit our time on social media so that it does not

completely control us and our lives. If we let it have too much power, we can become addicted to

it and become very anxious if we always have the fear of missing out. It is important to note that

limiting our time on social media can help keep our minds healthy and positive. If we spend

countless hours scrolling and scrolling, we can damage our mental health and create more and

more problems. We must pay attention to our time on social media.

It is mind-blowing how much we compare our lives with the lives of others on social

media. People we have never met or will never meet influence so many areas of our lives. It is

unimaginable. Some people spend more “time” with people on social than they do with their real

friends. As mentioned before, the anxiety, depression, and FOMO caused by social media are
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staggering. A major reason that these social media platforms cause such damaging results is

comparison.

Social media makes too easy to compare yourself with just about anyone. There is access

to a world of actors, models, athletes, peers and millions more. With a swipe of the phone, you

can dangerously spiral downward mentally and emotionally due to comparison. What do we

compare? The things that we compare ourselves to are limitless.

As a student, we see someone post what grade they got on a test, and we know that our

grade did not measure up. We compare that our friend made homecoming court and we don’t

even have a date. There are also academics. We see someone post a high score on the ACT and

get into the prestigious college they wanted to get into and we are going to have to settle for

community college because we don’t have the money, grades, or test scores. We compare

athletic ability. What about all of the time we have put into training for a spot on the team? With

a quick swipe while scrolling through our feed we see someone bragging about their making the

team – and you know you put way more work into it.

These are just a few examples of comparison by students. Students are not the only ones

who compare. Adults compare as much, if not more – the jobs, the houses, the vacations, the

promotions, the cars, the family, and much more. Suicide ranks as the fourth leading cause of

death for people ages 35 to 54 (Scott). Many believe this is so high is because of the comparison

of others because they find their lives lacking. Many people find that social media intensifies

social comparison.

While there are many downsides to social media, there are a few positive effects of social

media. Social media is great for connecting with people. You can connect with family and

friends who are far away by sharing pictures and videos (Frith). This allows both sides of the
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friendship to feel together, close, and not lonely or like they are missing out even though they are

far away. Another way they can connect is by connecting with people they don’t know.

Nowadays, when people are looking for a roommate for college they can find them on social

media. In doing this, they can begin talking and getting to know each other even if they haven’t

met in person. This is very helpful so that you can connect with the other person and learn more

about them and feel more comfortable once you get to college.

Another way social media is positive is being able to collaborate through online

communities (Frith). Whether it’s a neighborhood group, a school project, a mom’s club, a

running club or anything else, having an online community can help you connect and promote

your group. For example, if you were in a running club, you could create an Instagram account

and promote it. You could show pictures of what it’s like, answer questions, and connect with

people who are interested. You could also create a hashtag for the running club and everyone

who posted pictures in the club could use that hashtag to group the pictures. Social media is great

for connecting and promoting.

Lastly, social media can become an addiction. People begin to feel the need to constantly

check social media and it becomes a habit. They instantly pick up their phone and check it very

often. When they do this over and over again and they feel pleasure from it, their body can

release a hormone called dopamine (Walton). This is released and your body continues to go

through social media to feel the pleasure and release dopamine. People may not realize that they

are addictive to social media but some factors show when you are. Some people might start to

neglect their personal life, cause mood swings or changes, show withdraw symptoms.

When social media becomes addictive to you, it is quite dangerous. It can take over

different areas of your life. It is important for us to remember that we cannot let social media
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control us. We need to be intentional about our time on it so that we can continue to have control

over it and our life. It is also important to pay attention and make sure that you do not show any

of the alarming factors of addiction. Many people are on social media so often and for long

periods. When they do this over and over again, it can cause them to feel withdraw when they are

not on it. Back to the TedTalk by Bailey Parnell, she explained a time she went on a trip with her

sister. She turned off her Wi-Fi, email, and social media so she could be unplugged. After the

first day, she found herself having what she called “phantom vibration syndrome” (Parnell). This

is when you think your phone goes off when it actaully didn’t. She realized because she had not

been disconnected from social media in years that she was feeling withdraw. This was a red flag

to her because her mind was telling her she could not go without her phone or social media. She

now knew how important it was to distance herself from social media every once in a while, so

that she was not controlled by it. She also did not want to be addicted to it so she took the

important measures she needed so she could stop this psychological battle.

There are a few steps to making sure you have social media wellness and that it is not

affecting your mind, body, or mental health. The first step is recognizing the problem. You must

realize that there is a problem (Walton). It could be that it is taking up the majority of your time,

or you have mood changes because of it, or you neglect your personal life because of it, or you

just simply feel anxious and insecure because of social media. After you recognize that there is

an issue, you should monitor what goes into your mind. Just like we monitor what goes into our

mouth and heart, we need to do the same for our minds (Parnell). You can then ask yourself

questions to see if you put too much time into social media. Next, you should create a better

online experience (Parnell). Whether it is unfollowing certain accounts that make you feel

insecure or only looking at certain accounts each day, you must make sure that what is going into
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your mind is healthy and positive for you. Finally, you should model good behavior (Parnell).

This means not making other people feel bad about themselves by bullying or putting them

down. You could make your social media accounts positive and encouraging and it could help

uplift others following you.

Piles and piles of data show the harmful side of social media. Studies prove how social

media affects your life – your happiness most importantly. The good news to this alarming, and

honestly disturbing, data is you can rid yourself of this deception. Here are some simple ways

you can train your brain to care less about what others are doing or thinking: find role models,

create a support circle, partner up, avoid frenemies, cultivate kindness, and most importantly

count your blessings (Scott). If we put as much time into practicing these helpful tips as we do

on social media platforms then we can have a mentally healthy balanced life.
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Works Cited

Barr, Sabrina. “Six Ways Social Media Negatively Affects Your Mental Health.” The

Independent, 16 Apr. 2018, www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/social-

media-mental-health-negative-effects-depression-anxiety-addiction-memory-

a8307196.html. Accessed 22 Mar. 2020.

Charles, Shamard. “Social Media Linked to Rise in Mental Health Disorders in Teens, Survey

Finds.” NBC News, NBC News, 14 Mar. 2019, www.nbcnews.com/health/mental-

health/social-media-linked-rise-mental-health-disorders-teens-survey-finds-n982526.

Accessed 22 Mar. 2020.

Frith, Emily. Social Media and Children’s Mental Health. Education Policy Institute, June 2017.

Parnell, Bailey. “Is Social Media Hurting Your Mental Health? | Bailey Parnell |

TEDxRyersonU.” YouTube, 21 June 2017, www.youtube.com/watch?v=Czg_9C7gw0o.

Accessed 22 Mar. 2020.

Scott, Elizabeth. “How to Stop Constantly Comparing Yourself With Others.” Verywell Mind, 6

May 2019, www.verywellmind.com/the-stress-of-social-comparison-4154076. Accessed

1 Apr. 2020.

Walton, Alice G. “6 Ways Social Media Affects Our Mental Health.” Forbes, 30 June 2017,

www.forbes.com/sites/alicegwalton/2017/06/30/a-run-down-of-social-medias-effects-on-

our-mental-health/#62756e2e2e5a. Accessed 22 Mar. 2020.

“Youth, Mental Health, & Screen Time.” AMI-Quebec, amiquebec.org/infographics/. Accessed

12 Apr. 2020.