woman so nice - sometimes I feel bad for her, for the mother, not for Rose; Rose
is a great bitch and I love her for that.-
Not a lying biach
1 Willy Thomason. Willy and I were “friends” on vacation last year. My parents and
"Don't laugh, I feel bad! I look like a monkey", I said sadly looking at the monkey I
saw in the reflection of the mirror.
Being 16 years old for adults is to believe that we are thinking all the time about
parties, friends and how much we hate school. In general, it is that, but in the
inside of our room it is very different. In the messages on my phone is even
sadder, and in our hearts, life is hard exactly the same or maybe more than
adults´. Our ambitions have nothing to do with responsibilities yet, even though
we don't want to lose or be the losers in our groups, we are always thinking about
other things.
My phone rang: "We´ll stop by your house tonight, Kyle is going too!"
Since I couldn't get my mom to buy the pants I wanted, I asked Rose to lend me
hers, maybe I'd look good. My dad is on a trip, I can't ask him for money. Kyle
was also going to the party with us, we could drink vodka tonight. Willy would go?
I hope to see him, although maybe Santana is there too. If Santana is there then I
would see Willy with her. Anyway, I wasn't going to miss the opportunity to have a
good time with my friends: Rose and Kyle.
Rose has separate parents and she pretends not to be affected by that, I know
she would like to have a family with a mother and father. Every time she comes
home, she says the same thing to me, she complains to me why I treat my
parents like that!? How annoying she is. As if she won't treat her mother badly, a
Kyle is gay. He hasn't told his parents yet, but his friends know it. Our classmates
know it too, his parents secretly know it too, in fact everyone knows it. Kyle is 16
and a boy so masculine that stupid people believe that to be gay you have to be
feminine, listen to pop and avoid sports. Three things Kyle hates; he likes rap,
R&B and enjoys classic bands like Radiohead, Placebo and Oasis. Although
there are also Nicki Minaj, Beyoncé and Rihanna on his Spotify list (well that
comment was stereotypical: Sorry Kyle! I love you, even if you're already smoking
strange things and you are in love with Charly). Charly is a repressed boy who is
in love with Kyle, but he wouldn’t say anything: Stupid Charly with beautiful legs
even though his head is big as hell!
2
theirs are friends and so in the last vacation we had to share three weeks at the
beach. Willy is every boy in the world. He took his play station 4 on vacation, and
talked to his friends in the city 24/7. Instead, I wanted to start writing, although the
only thing I wrote, was a story about a boy who fell in love with a girl, but the girl
had cancer and dies at the end of the story. I threw those sheets of papers into
the sea: poor water, I contaminated it with the shit I wrote, and with the paper too.
In the end, Willy only shared with us a few outings the first few weeks, however,
in the last week he decided to spend moments of beach, outings and meals in
restaurants with me and my family. I don't have siblings so I was always with my
parents. Willy has a younger brother, the most annoying child on the planet. A
boy who still pisses his pants, is 6 years old and has not understood that there is
a thing called BATHROOM. “Is he too big for diapers and too small to go to the
bathroom alone?” The mother is embarrassed, and of course the brat doesn't let
people know, and when you least expect it, he appears with a yellow halo in his
pants. The boy is obsessed with his brother. Everything Willy does, so does the
brat; so, if Willy stayed at the hotel, so does he. Happy parents then. My parents
wouldn't have let me stay at the hotel, even if I had infectious diarrhea; my dad
paid a lot for that vacation so I had to jump, sing and even take pictures of
everything.
Willy's father is obsessed with selfies, the man bought himself a selfie stick to
document all those vacations. Many times, he would hug my mom or dad to take
a picture. My dad's face was the most embarrassing thing about the vacation,
more than the “wet boy”. Maybe Willy didn't want to be embarrassed by his dad,
maybe he really preferred to stay with his brother playing play station, or maybe
he didn't want to share his vacation with me.
The last week of the vacation he joined us. That day we all went on an excursion
to the water park we were united by the excitement of those games. The first
experience in which he looked happy and glad to be part of that holiday group.
The second time I saw him excited was when they left us in the city center with a
little money, there we discovered the number of common likes we had. We were
convinced that God didn't exist, we liked the same music except that we didn't
understand the Trap and all the revolution about it. We also liked the series,
speaking we realized that Stranger Things had marked our way of watching
television. We liked M.I.A. and we didn't understand how the best rapper in the
world had been banned in the United States for showing her middle finger in the
middle of the super bowl halftime. Finding a person who had that taste was not
easy to find. Willy was surprised that I didn't admire Ariana Grande or Taylor
Swift, and all the new pop stars that leave no room for innovation in music. All
that culminated when we decided to enter the cinema. We both wanted to go in to
see “Wonder Woman”. Another superhero film for him, the first female superhero
film for me.
Rose was about to arrive and I had already prepared my clothes, although only
the black pair of pants that I would wear were in the car with Rose. Kyle would
probably wear a T-shirt with a phrase against something, and jeans. We were
friends from an early age and used to understand the world the same way. That
night sounded special. Without any delay Rose sent me a message warning that
in fifteen minutes they would arrive. We would order pizza at my house, change
and go out together in an uber until the party at Pete's house.
Pete isn't important – except that he's in love with Rose, and Rose, I think, only
likes to drink beer. She's never talked about him, she thinks Pete will have no
hair in the head in a couple of year, it's true that he doesn't have much hair and
it's also true that he's a big fan of video games. Rose believes that boys who
enjoy game consoles think about having sex only with themselves.
______
We got to the party, it had already started. Willy was there with his friends. He
came to say hello to me, he said hello to Rose and Kyle too. That was all the
contact I had with him.
SPOILER BITCH ALERT: Santana arrived dressed in black, all tight, all goddess.
Her incredible hair, her 17-year-old female tits, her long legs, her imported
perfume and her Gucci backpack. Since I'm not interested in competing with
women; because we all look in the mirror and find defects and feel ugly because
that's how we've been raised, I don't intend to be jealous or believe that I have to
make Willy notice me and not her. Enjoy it, Santana. I believe: “Or I eat all the
cake or eat nothing, and this is not a birthday where I get just a piece of cake.
This is like my birthday! And I want everything or nothing.
If my parents saw me dancing, laughing and believing that tomorrow I don't have
to get up to help my mom with the house while she goes to the hospital, they
would be so proud of me! Of course, who can hold two beers in their hands,
dance to the rhythm of the music, know your limits and not leave the party with a
stranger? Fucking Christy, you're a fucking genius.
Fuck Santana too, not competing for a goddamn-play-station genius doesn't
mean I wouldn't want to be dancing with Willy or wishing he'd notice me. (Kyle is
looking at Sebastian, I didn't know Sebastian was gay too. Is he?)
Three hours later and I'm dizzy. I drank too much. I gotta go to the bathroom.
Rose. Where's Rose?
4
After going out downtown and debating the movie, about women's empowerment
and the rights to have superhero women we were picked up, we had a plan to go
to the beach all day the following morning. We wanted to drink a beer by the sea
and he offered to take them. When I told my parents that I would meet Willy the
following day, my mother laughed: "Someone seems to be enjoying the
company," she said. Embarrassed, I replied: "Who wouldn't enjoy my company,
Mom? I'm fucking fun for everyone!” Behind my narcissistic comment was my
shyness and my fear if Willy will like me.
Same old fears, fear that he won't like me. Fear that he'll think I'm just boring, fear
that tomorrow we'll get bored. What clothes should he wear? Right now, he
mustn’t be thinking about what he'll wear tomorrow! Why should I think about
what I'll wear? You're going to the sea, stupid Christy! What are you going to
wear? A dress and high heels? Stupid bitch. I'll wear a bikini with flowers and a
pink hat so he thinks I'm 5 years old or am retarded. Stop it, Christy. Just
because we think more about clothes than you boys don’t mean we're stupid, we
only use that time on things we like, what to wear, for example. The same time
you waste commenting on a soccer game or playing video games.
My parents left me with money, a toupper with food, and forbade me to turn off
the phone. His parents didn't take him, he took a taxi to the place and we found
ourselves in the first bus stop on parador 67.
He saw me, he greeted me. He had a red bathing suit with white palm trees, a
backpack with his towel- one from the hotel, - the telephone, his headphones,
and 4 cans of beer and money. I better not tell what I was carrying, even my
grandmother was in that backpack. I lied about that by saying that later we were
going to eat out and I didn't want to walk around in beach clothes in a restaurant.
Fake!.
Good afternoon! we talked, we bathed, we got wet, we talked again, we drank
beer, he smoked a cigarette that he had stolen from his mother. He peed in the
sea. I went to the bathroom of a parador, as a stupid I walked 6 blocks and as the
bitch of the bathroom keeper did not let me in because I did not carry money, I
came back and peed in the sea. I told Willy I had peed in the bathroom: Fake too!
Why do people tell each other where and when we pee?
At 7 PM my father called me and in 15 minutes they would pick me up. I prepared
my things, dressed and to the sound of me saying: "well, I think I'm going..." He
kissed me! He held my face gently with his hands and kissed me, I agreed, and I
think we spent several seconds kissing. Maybe the beer? Maybe we were in a
good mood? Maybe drunk? After a silly look and laughter, we walked up the
parador to wait for my parents. When they arrived, Willy and I hadn't spoken
since the kiss. When my dad arrived, Willy commented that he would take a taxi,
and they, my parents, offered to take him. Spoiler alert: Fucking trip!
All quiet, music on the radio, an old man talking about thousands of nonsenses
on FM, my dad drove and my mom asked:
- “How did it go?” she said.
- “Well”, I said.
- What did you do? She said.
- Take a bath, eat. I said.
- Were you just there or did you walk along the coast? She said.
- There!, I said.
- Tomorrow, what are you planning to do? She asked.
- Die!, I thought.
Shut up mom, shut up now! I thought. Don't you remember what it's like when
grandparents embarrass you? Did you forget the day you turned 15 years old and
grandpa told your friends that on the first day of school you were so nervous that
you shit your pants and ran out of class with all your brown ass? Do you want me
to tell that in the car? Shut up, mom!
We left Willy and I went up to my room in our hotel. I locked myself in the
bathroom, first because I had swallowed two portions of French fries with beer,
and then to think about how we said goodbye in the car: "Bye, see you!" Which of
the two of us was most imbecile? Innocent, stupid!
I added him to Instagram, he added me back. I accepted it, he accepted me.
(#ilikehimlikealot)
5
Rose is not here! Willy is literally eating the whole cake. He is kissing Santana. I
guess the kiss on the beach with me was just beer! And this one? Is it vodka with
some pink shit? Anyway. Rose?
Kyle can't go to the bathroom with me, he is a gay but has a penis. I need my
emotional support in the bathroom right now. I'm going alone. Kyle asks me if I'm
okay, clearly, I can't hold several beers in my hand, I can't dance well when I'm
drunk, let´s go to the bathroom. Kyle accompanies me, even though he thinks we
need to talk, he's still a man! I tell him he doesn't have to talk. Just walk me to the
door and wait for me to come out. “If 15 minutes pass and I don't go out then you
look for Rose to come in and look for me.”I'm going in," Kyle said. "Okay," I
answered”.
I'm already dizzy. I want to vomit. Damn Santana. Damn Willy. Fucking, fucking
Rose. I want to eat a hamburger. I stand up, I wash my hands. Ah, I am
confused. This is not a club. This bathroom is nice, it's not dirty. I'm very drunk.
This is bald Pete's house. Do I need to sleep? and if I go to bed in Pete's bed and
leave tomorrow? No, Christy. Stop it, I'm officially drunk and without a best friend.
And the guy that I liked and touched my ass on vacation is with Santana's perfect
fucking lizard. I'm adding her to Instagram. Santana, Santana, from Glee?
Santana, the singer? I don't know her last name. Wait. She is already on my
Instagram!
I decide to leave the bathroom, I think of Rose. Where are you? My little fatty girl?
Kyle is there, dancing alone next to a column, Kyle is cute. He sees me. He grabs
me. As I can’t walk I fall with my mouth open, hit my head on the floor. Kyle
begins to laugh between the mixture of alcohol and my shame that manifests
itself in a cry of pain.
Kyle tries to lift me and my body doesn't wake up, I'm too drunk to understand
that I have to get up before anyone sees me in this situation, I sit with my legs
stretched out looking double. I used a lot of strength, I feel that the world is
spinning, the house of the stupid Pete who puts carpets* everywhere, wait here it
comes the vomit! Guahhhh: I vomit on myself, I threw up a big vomit of brown
liquid on my legs. Rose's pants are wet now. I vomited on it, I hear Kyle laughs,
Rose is gone and Willy bitch is downstairs kissing Santana. Great, great, great.
I stand up and go back to the bathroom. I lock myself inside, as usual. Kyle keeps
laughing and stays outside waiting. I've already decided, I'll stay here and live in
the bathroom, it's big, I like it. I sit on the toilet and look at Rose's pants. How do I
get out of here?
*alfombra
6 I hear them talking while the smell in the bathroom makes me sicker. I opened
That morning I woke up early for breakfast at the hotel. Willy sends me a
message by Instagram: "where are you going today?
I don't know where we're going, my mom is sick, she seems to have eaten
something last night that hurt her. She's in bed complaining. My dad is watching
TV. They won't get up today. I should explain the situation to Willy but he invited
me to his hotel. I'd rather go somewhere else, I want to kiss him, but I can't tell
him that I feel like going downtown or somewhere where we can kiss. Control
yourself, woman! He doesn't kiss so well either, it looks like he's going to whistle
when he puts his mouth on me, and I look like I'm yawning. We're not the first
teenagers to start kissing. We're fish making bubbles.
While I think about all this, he disconnects. I have to write to him. I'll talk to him. I
am looking at his Instagram and bam! I see that Santana comments a photo to
him. Santana? Fucking bitch. What beautiful hair she has. It's not a war, Christy.
Santana´s comment makes me think: "How beautiful my boyfriend, I miss you
#seeuin4days. Take care, I love you”. I mother fucking love you? Whaaat? We're
16 years old! I love you? What the hell? Do you have a child or something? I love
you is the word that adults say when they want to conform to the other person
and avoid problems. Wait a minute: Does he love you back? Santana, your
boyfriend kissed me yesterday! Whaaat? I should tell her that Willy the fucking
hairy legs is a typical boy. I'm not going to answer him.
7 Willy is connected, Santana is connected, Christy is connected.
Before I opened the door, I drink water. And I get up quickly to wet my face, and
guahhh! I vomit again, the vomit jumps against the sink and the mirror. I start
laughing! Touched bottom, bitch! Suddenly Santana appears in the bathroom
and asks:
- "Is it busy?" she said.
- "Yeah," says Rose, "my friend is sick.”Can you wait?" asks Rose.
- "Christy?" asks Santana.
- "Yes," Kyle says with a confusing gesture.
the door and I look at Santana and invite her to come to “my house”: “Welcome to
Pete's fucking vomited bathroom, tall Santana”, I said.
Santana looked at me and sat me on the toilet again and starts fixing my hair and
washing my face. I hug her around the waist, and I'm actually touching her ass.
Beautiful ass, you fucking bitch. I feel bad, but comforted, Santana starts talking:
- "Thank you for telling me. I´m sorry I didn’t believe you. Willy denied me
everything. I can't pretend anymore. I'm going to cut him off, he's a jerk."
- "I like Willy, but I prefer a friend with long legs, incredible hair and great
tits," I said.
8
I decided what to do in the afternoon, I felt that fucking Willy doesn't deserve me
or Santana. I like him, I'd like to be with him. I'll always find him attractive, but he's
a stupid moron. He kissed me yesterday, and he has a girlfriend. Damn
monogamy that has programmed us. But she must believe that he is faithful.
Well, he's not.
Willy is a cutie, but he cheated on Santana. Who cheats on tits like that? I
grabbed my phone, looked for Instagram and entered Santana's profile.
Santana P. Defner. Of course, how can you not imagine, she's a fucking rich
woman with an important surname. Who can be so stupid to cheat on “a Santana
P. Defner”?
Message to Santana P. Defner: ____
Santana didn't believe me.
Fuck it, him, her, her ass, and God, just in case.
 - "I´m pooping," I said finally.

9
- "What did he say to you? I asked looking like a drogadict.
- "He lied to me, he didn't say anything about what you told me. Then I told
him I knew everything, he denied it. He told me you were a lying bitch,"
Santana told me.
- "Bitch? may be. I was ruining a couple. But a liar? Never, babe. Lying
bitch is his mom who says his brother pees because he has a problem,
Willy," I think angrily.
- "Anyway, I'm leaving. I don't want to be here. Do you want a ride? I called
my brother, he's coming here! she said.
- "I'm with my friends, I can't leave without them. I've already lost too many
things tonight," I replied.
- "If you want, I'll take them too," she told me.

The beautiful-tits bitch was a good person. I knew that behind her winning bitch
face, there was a poor woman hurt by an acne-face boy.

- "Come on," I said.

Kyle and Rose agreed to leave because they saw me in such a state that they
knew that if I stayed at the party, I could climb the roof and sing the national
anthem. Stop everything! As we walked out of the hallway of the bathroom to get
to the exit door of Pete's stupid carpet-playing house Willy is scrolling on his cell
phone waiting for Santana. He sees us. Santana holds my hand, so queen! looks
at him sideways, I look at him, he looks at me, and we leave quickly because I
can vomit again, I have nothing of a queen! Damn Santana model! I love her.

The brother arrives in Santana's "Poor" Defner's carriage, we get in the car. Kyle,
me, and then Rose. The vomit smell I have is unbelievable. No one can't stand it.
On the way home I asked:

- "News?" I said.
- "Sebastian is gay," Kyle replied.
- "Pete is a good kisser," Rose replied.