First day

I have been well received on this farm, Sidsel is the owner, a very kind old lady of 150
years, apart from me there are 4 Italian, 2 French and a Pakistani.

My goal is to listen to conversations in English and try to speak and so far I have only been
able to articulate some sentences.

I miss my Chica a lot, she’s in Togo, a country in Africa doing a humanitarian service. She’s
the most beautiful woman and she’s made for me.

In the morning we have learned to feed the cows and calves, to give them straw and
water, the food extends near the gate and the rest is also straw but to sleep, it is their bed.
The water is deposited in buckets tied to the bars.

Apart from that there is an extra food that cows love.

In the middle of a big farm there’s a bunch of geese, they’re not bad but they think they’re
the bad guys in the neighbourhood.

The owner took care of me from breakfast that during the day I would first visit the whole
farm and asked me if I knew how to hunt hens, I replied that depends.
We tried to catch two roosters but it was a failure.

In the end we took two roosters from the henhouse, and I showed them how I killed the
birds while Sidsel said: forgive me bird but I don’t hate you, I’m just hungry.

The Italian girls speak all the time in their language, and sometimes in English, today they
go two, the French boys will also go in some days.

The rest of the day I spent cutting wood with an axe, one of the French boys got hurt
while trying to repair his axe, they have taught me how to be effective when cutting the
logs.
In the end I had to repair his axe because the wound looks deep, the blood came out fired
until I could see it.

We heal his wound and at the end we finish the day, we have dinner together and I still
cannot speak in English.

Second day.

I woke up very late, forgot my breakfast time and spent all night texting my friends.
I still have no answer from my love who is in Togo. I miss you very much Mahault.
I have respiratory problems, problems with mites, in fact I am allergic to them and I think I
know where it comes from, today we will clean my bed.

After the lunch that was purposely delicious Sidsel took me and a French boy to pick up cut
logs and fill the tractor so we made several trips, I must confess that until now it has been
the most difficult part of this experience as my body has lost the habit of physical exertion.
Then come to my memory the moments we have spent together my love, when I
translated a part of my life and you were surprised by the wealth and even experience
while you told me that when you read the diary of one of your brothers he was talking
about a bird. I adore you my life and I think of you every moment because thanks to you I
have regained the trust I lost by believing that no one else could accept me as I am and
for me and for you I want to improve, I want to overcome what I am. I think this is a new
story and you and I will be a new book with new pages to write, I promise love that when
you’re back, I will show you that what I feel for you is true and sincere.

It’s been in my memory that moment on the beach where you’d go in and pull your head
out of the water like it was natural for you, like you had all the control while I was choking
every time, drinking water through my mouth, nose and ears and a little bit by the eyes.

The rest of the afternoon after the break I spent learning to feed the cows, Margarita, one
of the remaining Italian girls has shown me step by step and I think I have understood him
between his Italian, English and Spanish.

I really want this to end and go back to Nancy, but I know I have my exams to take on my
return so I have to study and take my free time to think about my career.

In the communicative part I have not progressed much, I only understand what I am told
and for me it is enough then at the end of the day I move away to my body to do things as
a boy and rest.

3.In contact with

Love, you’re my precious pearl, even though you haven’t written me yet I think of you day
and night remembering every moment we’ve spent together.

Love if you knew what my life has become now, I’m at a point where it’s hard for me to be
myself because I overdemand myself, because I forget who I am and compare myself to
others.
I wonder what you saw in me that attracted you and I fell in love.

I will confess to you what attracted me to you:

When you told me you liked me from the first day we met.

When we talk and we talk, you listen to me carefully and so do I... very rarely have lived
those moments and I need them.

When you let yourself be mesmerized by the songs I played on the guitar even though I’m
just an amateur... I adore you for it, because every time you look at me with those eyes of
yours I feel alive and I get lost.

I will share a summary of what happened to me these days. I still work 5 hours a day but it
is very hard.

Today we have harvested fences with the two Italian girls, we try to speak in Spanish and
English and I think I begin to understand.

At the end of the day while we were having dinner they told me something that struck me,
Sidsel who owns the whole farm spoke of me before my coming, as if my arrival was
something expected, finally comes someone from South America who will be able to kill a
chicken (and yes I did)

He gave me a nice room with a shower, WiFi and his own sink, things that other guys don’t
own and I feel a little privileged by it.

Then came to my mind the moment you told me Arnaud did the same, that is he
anticipated my coming to the camp talking about me, I don’t know if I’ve lived up to your
expectations but I liked your words... now I know why Arnaud spoke so much about you,
because I’ve seen the pain and death so closely and I’ve experienced happiness and hope
with the other hand, life has taught me a lot and this class isn’t over yet, I don’t want to
get anyone else’s attention just from you.

I finally got the mattress out because the mites won’t let me sleep, tomorrow’s a day off
and we’ll be in Oslo.