Running head: WHAT MATTERS MOST?

What Matters Most?

Shelly Treleaven

Prepared for EEA 535

M. Ed. in Leadership

City University of Seattle in Canada

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When I explain my philosophy of teaching or how students ought to be taught, one would

find that I become rather passionate in my response. The commitment to work with children and

youth holds a deeply personal and emotional connection for me. While I had many excellent

teachers who contributed to my curricular understanding, I felt isolated, alone and not worth

effort or time when I was in my middle years. It is my belief that we must always remember we

have been entrusted with someone’s child, and we impact their perspectives on themselves and

their future. We must develop relationships and meet them where they are on a social,

emotional, and educational level to support the whole child.

My philosophy of life and education has been influenced by a variety of authors and

mentors. Glasser (Year) stated that the basic need to survive, feel love and belonging, and have

power, freedom, and fun impacts how we perceive our world and experiences. He stated that

“[a]ll our behaviour is always our best choice, at the time we make the choice, to satisfy one or

more of these needs” (p. 28). This theory made sense to me and when Green (2008) stated that

“kids do well if they can” (p. 28) it helped to explain my struggles as a child and helped me to

internalize and comprehend these concepts as an adult.

As I was in four different schools from Grades One to Four, I lacked a connection to my

teachers. I did, however, have a principal in Grade Two, who seemed to know every student’s

name and was in the halls talking to the students often. When I got called to his office due to a

conflict with another student, I was terrified. I knew what I had done was wrong but felt

justified. He did something that few adults did in my life at that time, he listened to me. He did

not condone what I had done, but I’ll never forget the way he made me feel, understood. Even
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though I was a little girl, he patiently listened to my side of the story. While this happened over

40 years ago, it continues to resonate within me emotionally, which illustrates its impact.

All through my middle school years, I struggled, not with school, but with my family life

as it was in crisis. School for me was a separate part of my life and had no connection to home.

It was the place I went to feel safe and socialize with my peers. I struggled to be focused; I

learned in spite of myself. If any teacher had any idea what was going on in my life, I never

knew it, as no one ever made an effort to talk with me about anything but the content of a lesson.

Due to the lack of connection at school, I only felt shame and humiliation by my home situation,

and as a result, my mental health suffered. I often wonder how things might have been different

if an effort to understand my situation had been made.

My thought is that many people sense that education is the formal act of receiving

instruction, however, I feel it is the interactions with those around us, our environment, and how

we change due to these interactions that define our education. I postulate that we are born to

learn and that most people spend their lives seeking experiences with variety, novelty, and

change in order to develop meaning, understanding, and purpose for their lives. At the school

level, a student’s education would ideally focus on the whole child and would provide powerful

interactions with the people, experiences, and curriculum in order to shape their comprehension

about themselves and the world around them.

As educators we are not given just the brains of students so that we might fill them with

knowledge, we are also offered their hearts and souls. “They may forget what you said - but they

will never forget how you made them feel” (Buhner, 1971) and I agree. We must build
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relationships and meet the needs of the child. Only once they feel a safe, connected, cared for,

allowed choice and they are having fun, are they truly able to maximize their potential.
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References

Buehner, C. (1971). Retrieved from ​https://quoteinvestigator.com/2014/04/06/they-feel/​.

Glasser, W. (1988). ​Choice theory in the classroom​ (Rev. ed.). New York: Quill.

Greene, R. (2008). Kids do well if they can.​ The Phi Delta Kappan, 90​(3), 160-167.