SIBLING

CARE HOME

“A total of Rs. 17 lakhs and 21 thousand, the receptionist says.

I handed over the cheque to her.

“Thank you, Sir!”, she said with a smile.

As I was leaving the place, I don’t know, but I felt a lump in my throat. A deep sense of
guilt and shame paralyzed my entire body. I never wanted this, but now this is a reality.
It happened, and I did that myself.

I could not look back, because I know I would see my sister watching me leaving, with
tearful eyes.

After reaching home I went straight to my room. I could see mom sitting by the window
side, stiff and lifeless.

Gently I said, “Mom”. She looked at me. I continued, “Mom the place is nice. I had
inspected the entire premise personally. It’s well maintained. The staffs are good too.
They will take good care of Didi, there.”

“Yeah! They will take good care of my daughter. Good enough for her to die early”, mom
said with a sigh.

“Why are you thinking like that. She will be good there, trust me.”

“What else you got to say apart from this? She had never been outside home since her
birth. She had never stayed without me a single night. How will she cope up there at this
age? What do they know about her? She won’t be able to survive this shock, she won’t.”

“Mom, why are you thinking….”

“Your dad was aware of this day long back. It was me, who fought with him saying, ‘no
her brother would take care of her. Do not worry’, I was so wrong”

Mom broke down into tears.

I stood there speechless, gazing towards the setting sun outside the window.
FLASHBACK

Jhimlee, my sister, is 4 years elder to me. She suffers from ‘Pervasive Developmental
Disorder’ nowadays known as Autism Spectrum Disorder in medical terminology. We
grew up together and I never had any problem. My father in fact recommended me to
go to boarding school, however my mom insisted me staying home as she feared going
to boarding school may distant me from my sister.

Back then I used to say proudly, “I would look after my sister throughout my life”.
Everyone who heard me telling this, used to admire my noble thoughts and tell my
mother how lucky she is to have me as her son. My father, however never appreciated
me, as if, he believed it too good to be true. When my mother boasted on this, he just
smiled and used to say one thing, ‘‘You have no idea how time changes people.’’

He was right. Things started to change as I grew up. My growing number of friends and
increasing social circle left me with less time for my parents and lesser time for my
sibling.

I was in degree 2nd year when my father passed away. The following 2 years was a period
of intense struggle for us. The money my father left behind for us was used to pay back
loans. I raised my education funds through a part time job in a private tutorial.
My mom’s salary was just enough to have our ends meet.

After my graduation I landed up in a job in Hyderabad and moved away from my

hometown, Kolkata. My mom came to see me off at the station. As the train was leaving
the station, I still remember the expression on my Mom’s face. It was a mixed
melancholic expression of dejection, despair and desolance. As if, whatever she had
thought about me, dreamt about me so far was being challenged, yet little she could do
about it.

Spending a brief stint of 3 years of my life in Hyderabad, I moved to Bangalore. There I

met the love of my life Rimi and we decided to get married. With time, my initial plan of
moving back to Kolkata faded away. Rimi never wanted to go to Kolkata.

It’s been 2.5 years we have been married. Needless to say, I never moved out of
Bangalore, instead settled over here. Last year I bought an apartment in one of the
busiest areas in Bangalore. In last few years my life took an upturn where everything
seemed right and anything that does not fit over there is simply out. Well paid job in an
American MNC, promotion, couple of onsite assignments, new car, new house and a
would-be father status.

All through this, my mother and sister have been there living in Kolkata on their own.
Occasionally they used to come to my place, though I used to visit my home often. But I
could feel the difference. I don’t know when, without my knowing, I have distanced
myself from them. It was obvious. Irrespective of how strong the relationship is, the
intensity of the bonding drifts away, when a gap of time & place are left unattended.
That’s reality.
But things were not as bad then, as it is now. After marriage we moved into a bigger
house at rent for 2 years. My mother and sister visited my new home quite a few times
after that. But there’s something unusual this time. Rimi was not comfortable with my
sister.

During last 1-year Mom’s health deteriorated drastically and we decided to move her
along with us. However, the problem with my sister still persists.

“I’m sorry Rishi but I would have difficulties staying with your sister. You know, I have
never been brought up in such environment. I have thought about it a lot, but I could
not do this. I’m sorry”

Mom shifted with us, but sister could not. We sent her to a care home for assisted living.
Mom never wanted this, but little could she do with her health.

There is a picture of my father in our room, perfectly inserted inside a photo frame, with
a gracious smile on his face. Since the day I sent my sister to a care home, I could barely
look into that picture. That smile which has always been so gracious and tender to me,
all of a sudden turned sarcastic. As if he is saying, ‘I knew that.’

MISHI

15th Feb, 2017. Very special day of my life. This is the day when Mishi arrived in our life,
making me the proud father of a beautiful daughter. I had never been so happy ever in
my life before. God has been so kind enough to bestow the greatest treasure of my life.

I returned home that night all alone. My Mom & mother in law stayed in the hospital
with Rimi.

I entered my room and switched on the light. Before anything else my eyes went
towards my father’s picture. Same smile on his face. I was looking for that sarcasm and
was on the verge of taking my eyes off, then I saw something different. It was not the
sarcastic smile. It was an ecstatic smile of utter blissfulness. The euphoric feeling of
becoming a grandfather was visibly clear in his eyes. How I wish he was there!

I took out my cellphone and looked at the pic of my little angel. She is so cute, so
adorable. I guess there cannot be any feeling on this earth more elating than to become
a parent.

Since the last few hours my entire world has been revolving around Mishi. I have already
started imagining her growing up. What would be her first word, at what age she would
call me, ‘Papa’, when would she start walking? But before that she has to crawl, how can
I miss that?
There was smile all over my face as I lied down on my bed, thanking The Almighty for His
immeasurable blessing upon my life.

Then the anxiety begins. Will I be able to take good care of my child? Will I be able to
protect her from dangers and risks all around? Will I be able to meet all her
expectations? Will I be able to….?

I can’t think of any further. I got up from my bed and switched on the light. My eyes
straight went to my father’s photo again.

All of a sudden, the room changed to a hospital ward. Instead of my wife, I could see my
mother lying on the bed and instead of me it was my father standing beside her holding
a new born in his lap. I leaned forward to have a glance of the baby. No, it was not me, it
was a baby girl. It was the day when my parents experienced the bliss of parenthood for
the first time in their life. It was the day when their life got a new meaning. It was the
beginning of the day when they started living not for themselves, but for someone else.

My dad lifted up his face and looked into my Mom’s eyes. His face was glowing. I had
rarely seen him so happy. As if he is on top of the world. And why not?

Little he predicted that day, that his daughter would end up in a care home someday
down the line. Wherever he is today, he must have known about this, in his utter
dismay, augmenting to the anguish that it’s been initiated by his own son.

PHONE CALL

My sister was diagnosed with autism 4 months after her birth. My mom later told me
that my father never recovered from that shock. Even in his last days he used to lament
on his fate for this misfortune. As a father today, I could very well empathize his
emotions.

I reached the hospital early next day.

“Your eyes are swollen”, Rimi said. “Haven’t you slept yesterday all night due to
excitement” she giggled.

I smiled. “Did the doctor come and visit you?” I asked.

“Yes, in the morning.”

“Are all the mandatory tests done?”

“Yes, all necessary screening test including metabolic test, genetic test, are all done. All
good.”

“Did the doctor tell when they would be able to discharge you?”
“Not before a week at least. You know I am anaemic ”

I went near cradle and looked at Mishi. She was sleeping.

“Don’t wake her up. She just slept.”

“I won’t”

I came back home early that night, as I did not have sufficient sleep, and planned to go
to bed early. After dinner I usually prefer reading for a while, but that night I just threw
myself on to my bed and in no time, I was out.

“Another sight, you fade away…afraid of another sight...Wanna see us…alive, ..Where
are you now!..”

Initially I thought I was dreaming, the music was so soothing, but then realized that it
was my phone ringing.

“Hello”

“Hello is it Rishi?” a cold voice on the other side said.

“Yes, Who’s this?”

“Hi Rishi. This is Roger. I have a message to deliver to you”

“Message? “I asked perplexedly. “Who are you? What message you have for me at this
hour?”

“I am sorry to call you at this hour. I am out of India now, and this message is urgent.
Hence could not wait.”

“I am listening.”

“Thanks. Rishi. I am a lawyer. I called you to inform that your father prepared a will
according to which you would inherit a property, on the birth of your first child.”

“Is it some kind of joke?” I asked in disbelief.

“No. This is true.”

“A Property? Where?”

“In Kolkata. It’s an estate of 0.5 acre in Salt Lake Kolkata. He purchased this property in
1998, 5 years before he passed away.”
 I was speechless.

“This sounds too good to be true. How come I am not aware of this?”

“Your father kept it secret and asked us to do the same, till the time you first child is
born”

“Could you kindly send me some documents, supporting what you are saying?”

“Definitely” He said confidently. “I would forward you the scanned copies of the relevant
documents right away. Have a look yourself.”

“Great! Kindly share them.”

“I would. Rishi, there is one more thing that I would like to mention. There are 2
conditions to be fulfilled in order to get this property”

“Conditions?” I asked skeptically. “What conditions?”

“Number 1. You would not share this information with anyone, including your wife,
before you the property is actually transferred in your name.”

“And what’s the other one?”

“Number 2,” he continued, “your mom and sister would be staying with you and would
continue to stay with you for the rest of their life”

“Why would Dad put such conditions?”

“I don’t know but maybe he was worried about future. Why? Is there any problem?”

“No problem.”

“Awesome. I have emailed the documents into your mailbox. Bye, Rishi. I would call you
again tomorrow.”

He hung up.

I immediately logged into my Gmail account. Yes, there’s a new mail from
rogerfernandez@gmail.com with an attachment.

I clicked on the attachment. It’s a legal document, duly signed by my father and group of
lawyers, one being Roger himself. I took some time to go through it.

Roger was telling the truth. The testament indeed talks about the estate that my father left
for me to inherit on the birth of my first child, with the two set conditions. There was one
more condition, the 3rd one that Roger did not mention. I have to claim this property
officially within 7 days from the date of birth of my first child.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BACK HOME

Next day I left the hospital early in the afternoon and went straight to ‘Swathi’ the name of
the Care Home where my sister is staying.

“Good Morning Sir!” The lady in the reception said, “How can I help you?”

“I need to meet the Director, Mrs. Swamy.”

“Sure sir, kindly have a seat.”

I sat on the sofa nearby and waited for 10 mins before the lady said, “Sir, straight through
the corridor and then left.”

“Thank You”

“Good Morning Mr. Mitra. Please have a seat.” The Director greeted me with a warm smile.

“Thank You”

“Tell me, what can I do for you?”

“How is my sister doing?”

“She is absolutely fine. Would you like to meet her now? Did you come alone or your
mother is also here?”

“I came alone today. I did not come to meet my sister today.” I paused.

“Is there any issue sir?”

“I have come to take my sister with me.”

“Ok. Sure, she can go and stay with her family for as long as 1 month”

“Not for a month. I have come to take her with me, forever.”

Mrs. Swamy paused and looked at me in astonishment. As if she is hearing this for the first
time in her life. I am sure there are not many who take their family members, back home
from here.

“What’s the issue sir? Is there any expectation not met from our side? If so, I am sure we
can fix that.”
“I’m sure we can fix that, only if there is any issue. I have some personal reason due to
which I want to take her back with me, forever, and as per the clause 7b in the agreement I
can do that anytime I wish.”

“Sure, you can do that sir. But clause 7b also states that, under such circumstances the
organization is not liable to refund you any money back.”

“That’s ok.”

“Alright. In that case kindly fill up this application form and I’ll get the paperworks ready”

“Sure”

Two days later post lunch, I reached ‘Swathi’ again. As usual the receptionist asked me to
wait for 10 mins before allowing me to meet Mrs. Swamy. I guess it’s their norm.
Irrespective of the fact the director is busy or not, since she is a director, you have to wait
for at least 10 mins before you get the permission.

“Good afternoon Mr. Mitra. Please have a seat.”

“Thanks. Is everything ready?”

“Almost. Just a few more formalities. You need to put your signature on these two
documents.”

I looked into each document and read through it. One says, that I am taking my sister
forever and the other says as per the agreement the organization is not liable to pay me any
money back.

“I hope you understand sir. We cannot give back you any refund.”

“Yes, I do understand.” I replied as I signed the documents.

“Thank you very much sir! Please this way”

Mrs. Swamy guided me through a lobby to a breakout area where I could see my sister
sitting on a bench with some packed-up baggage by her side.

“Duggu!”, I could hear my sister’s voice now as I approached closer. She seemed pale, thin
and depressed as if deep down she felt dejected from the fact that her brother has
disowned her. It’s been close to three months she has been here, but looks like she is still in
the state of shock. Mom was right. Chances of her recovering from this trauma are slim and
if this continues, this may lead to her premature death. How did I not see all these?

“Duggu, how are you?”, she asked.

“I’m fine Didi.”

“Duggu, please ask Mom to take me home. I feel so lonely over here. There is no one I know
with whom I can talk. I do not like this place.”

I could not answer anything. My voice choked and with much difficulty I was able to control
my tears. She mentioned about Mom, as if she had lost complete hope on me.

I picked up her bags and told. “Come. Let’s go home.”

She remained silent for a while. As we started to walk towards my car she said, “Have you
come to take me home?”

“Yes”

I put her baggage inside the trunk of the car and opened the rear door for her.

“I can’t thank you enough Mrs. Swamy. Take Care”

“Thanks Mr. Mitra. My pleasure.” She said with a smile.

I was about to open the door and get into the driving seat when Mrs. Swamy called.

“Mr. Mitra, there is something I would like to tell you. I have been running this organization
since last 15 years. I founded ‘Swathi’ with an objective of providing assisted living to people
who are mentally challenged. We try to give them a relatively better life here which they
may not get at home. Many of them have one or more siblings, some in India and some
settled abroad, but the reality is none of them accepted to include them in their life.

There are numerous houses in our country who could not afford to send their family
members to care home, one like this, due to financial constraint. Those poor fellows
undergo even worse sufferings. Many of them are not given food for days, beaten
inhumanly, locked inside a room 24/7, abandoned in streets, sold in exchange of money and
even murdered. We have a team who look for these unfortunate people and rescue them to
here, sometimes through rigorous legal procedure.

I told that we could not refund your payment because I wanted to check how genuinely you
want your sister back. There is also another reason and if I do not explain that I would be
lying to you. 40% of the people who stay over here cannot pay the fees, due to reasons I
mentioned just now. It’s from the fees we get from the balance 60% that help us run this
organization.”

I stood there silently, not knowing what to say.

“We try to provide them here as many things as possible. But still half of the ones who come
here go into deep depression. They miss their family every moment. 80% of them have lost
both of their parents. They miss their parents, their siblings, cousins and other members of
their family.”

“What you have done, very few people can do. I do not know if you have your wife’s
support in this matter, if so, then I have huge respect for her as well. If more and more
people start thinking like you, then we would not require organizations like ‘Swathi’
anymore.”

“Thanks for all the kind words.”

I drove away from ‘Swathi Care Home’ towards my own home.

After driving for around 15 mins my sister called me again. Duggu”

“Tell Me”

“I do not want to come back here again very soon. Why can’t I stay with you?”

“Do not worry. No one will send you here again. From today onwards, you would stay with
us.”

“Really”

“Yes”

I looked at her from the rear-view mirror. Her eyes sparkled, though her face still seemed
confused, as if it was too good to be true for her.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Revelation

Mom was at home. She was overwhelmed to see my sister coming back home. The next
moment she was nervous.

“Did you tell this to Rimi?”

“I would”

“What if she does not agree to this?”

“Hmm… Mom if she loves me then she would. If Rimi, would have had any brother or sister
with special needs, I would have accepted them. It’s not about Rimi, it’s about me. I am at
fault, not her. It was me who has distanced himself from you guys. But it’s not too late yet. “
I could see tears rolling down my Mom’s cheeks. She came and gave me a tight hug. Then
she went in front of my father’s photo and said, “I was right, see, I was right… I knew my
son, he could never do such things, I knew…” She continued, while still crying.

I came to my room. Now comes the next most important thing I got to do. I thought over it
many times and I know I am right.

Roger called me twice after that night. Once he told me there would be a team visiting my
place early next week to validate my identity and that I meet all the criteria mentioned in
the testament for the inheritance of the property.

Yesterday he called me to tell that he has initiated all the paper works from his side so once
the checks are done, I don’t have any difficulties in the process.

After he hung up, I sat there quietly and started thinking what kind of a person I am. Had it
been not for the property I wouldn’t have thought of getting my sister back from the care
home. Which means I am doing this for money. Shame on me. Being her brother, don’t I
have responsibility towards her? How insensitive I had been to send her to a care home,
because I think she may not fit into my society, my surrounding and more important in my
life. Why will others accept her, if I being her own brother despise her. It is about ME.

Will I ever be able to look into the mirror with self-respect again, after this? How will Mishi
react when she will get to know this in future?

No. I can’t be like this. With God’s grace I have enough and I do not require money to be
with my sister. I decided to call up Roger and let him know that the he can initiate paper
works to sell the property after the same been transferred to my name and donate the
money to a care home for mentally challenged. In fact, I have got few names now.

I looked for Roger’s number in my phone but could not find it. I remember saving the
number. I further looked into the call history. Roger used to call me at midnight between
12.00 -12.15 am, but I never found any number in my call list at that time.

Did I delete my call history? But the record of the other calls is there? I am clueless.

I went and logged into my gmail. He sent me a mail after our very first conversation and I
also remembered replying to the mail. To my astonishment I did not find any mail from
Roger, neither in my Inbox nor in my Sent items.

Not knowing what’s going on, I thought of sending a fresh email to Roger. Oh My God! I got
an undelivered message stating, ‘ rogerfernandez@gmail.com’ does not exist.

I realized even inside an air-condition room I have started to sweat. There is one last way
out. I had recorded our last conversation into my phone. I hastily opened my record folder
in my phone and looked for the calls I recorded yesterday. I remembered attending one
conference call 3 hours before I spoke to Roger. That was the last recorded call I found in my
phone
Bewildered I rushed out of my room.

“Mom”, I shouted.

“What happened Duggu? Why are you shouting?”

“Mom have you heard about anyone by name Roger, from Dad ever, Roger Fernandez?”

“Roger who?”

“Roger Fernandez, he is a lawyer”

“As far as I know your father had only one encounter with lawyers, it was when he
purchased our house in Kolkata”, Mom said, “but I don’t recall any of them named Roger.”

“Roger from USA, I mean he may be from India or was in India but now he is in USA”

“Why your father who was based out of Kolkata would contact a lawyer from USA?”, Mom
laughed.” Your father had never been out of India. But why are you asking all these?”

I preferred to remain silent, because I knew, if I tell the truth no one would believe me.

ANSWERS

“All the reports are fine. I do not see any issue.” Dr. Harman said

“Do I need to get an MRI or CT done”

“HeHe. I do not see any need for one. You are absolutely fine.”

I looked at the doctor with a blank expression on my face.

“Come on Man! Cheer Up. You are absolutely fine!”

“If I’m fine then how did I receive calls from a stranger at midnight for 3 days and later did
not find any trace of him.”

“At what time did you say, you received the call?”

“At midnight”

“Did you ever meet him in person, or did anyone apart from you speak to him?”

“No. It was only me. Also, I did not tell about him to anyone as he asked me to keep it only
between us.”
“Hmmm… Rishi how do you know it’s not a dream?”

“Dream ??” I stared at the doctor in incredulity. “It cannot be a dream.”

“How can you be so sure. You see, according to you the calls came at midnight. The calls
came on the days when you were alone. No one heard or spoke to this stranger except you.
Also, according to you the stranger asked you to keep this a secret. All these evidences
support activities of your sub conscious mind, may be in your sleep”

“Is it possible?” I asked in disbelief

“In psychological term there is something known as dream-reality confusion or DRC. Dream-
reality confusion is a difficulty or inability to determine whether an event or experience
occurred during the waking state or whether it was part of a dream.”

“But I never had any psychiatric problem”

“No, you never. But during that period, you had a conflict between your conscious and sub
conscious mind. That created a temporary personality disorder in you which may had led to
this.”

“Deep down in your subconscious mind you never wanted your sister to go there”, Dr
Harman continued his explanation. “Since the time your sister went to caré home you had
been suffering from a deep feeling of guilt. Contrary to that, you were also insecured about
your social status and your wife’s acceptance towards your sister. That created a conflict.”

“After you became a father yourself, you empathized your father’s pain and agony. That
gave your subconscious mind the required strength to take the decision of getting back your
sister. However, your conscious mind was still not ready to accept that, hence it had to
come through your dreams. “

“But what about the estate? The property I was told, I had inherited.”

“Hmm… That part is bit tricky. The possible explanation of that could be, self-interest. As I
mentioned before, your conscious mind was still not ready to accept your sister. Hence, you
required some self-interest for your conscious mind to act, and what could be better than
money.”

“The day your conscious mind accepted this fact, you stopped getting any more calls in your
dream. And it’s obvious that you never found any trace of Roger, because he never existed.
He was only in your imagination.”

“Do you mean to say doctor, I’m schizophrenic?”

“Schizophrenia lasts much longer than what you have experienced. Not to worry. I am
writing you some medicines. These will get you some good sleep.” Doctor smiled.
“Thank you Doctor”

“How is the situation at your home now. Is everyone happy?”

“I hope so. I bought another apartment next to our old one. Mom and Didi will live there
happily without much conflict with my wife. In this way, they would be able to stay close to
me and also independently.”

“Awesome.” Dr. Harman almost yelled as he handed the prescription to me. I took the
prescription and put it inside the file.

“Thank you doctor.”

“Rishi, I think you are good now and need not to come to me again until things turn
otherwise, which I hope will not. Take the medicines for the prescribed number of days and
all will be fine. All the best” Dr. Harman shook my hand firmly with a broad smile.

“Thank you doctor! Thank you so much” I shook his hands in return.

As I was leaving the clinic I felt very relaxed. Is it because I am fully convinced to what Dr.
Harman told me in explanation. Not really. I have limited understanding of psychology and
whatever doctor told me, may be true. But the fact is I don’t care. May be its my sub
conscious mind, may be its my illusion, may be its something else which humans can’t
explain, but whatever it is, it has brought my inner humanity into light and forbade me from
committing a sin which I may have repented in my future days.

THE END