SAMPLE MODULE FORMAT

 Beginning work, developing work identity and financial independence.

TITLE OF THE TOPIC : Family Life Cycle

OBJECTIVE : To identify the cycle of family life significant in understanding the dynamics of a
family.
Stage 3: Premarriage stage
INTRODUCTION :

KEY TO REMEMBER : During this phase the main tasks are:

ACTIVITY : ENERGIZER

INPUT : Title of Topic

 Selecting partners

ACTIVITY : (Film Showing, Role Playing, Seatwork, etc.)

 Developing a relationship

SYNTHESIS :
 Deciding to establish own home with someone.
QUIZZ :

SUMMARY :

KEY TO CORRECTION:
Stage 4: Childless couple stage

During this phase the main tasks are:

GROUP NO. ____: LEADER - ___________________________

SECRETARY - ________________________
 Developing a way to live together both practically and emotionally

MEMBERS - _________________________  Adjusting relationships with families of origin and peers to include partner

_________________________

Stage 5: Family with young children

During this phase the main tasks are:

 Realigning family system to make space for children

 Adopting and developing parenting roles

LESSON 1: The Family as a Unit: Family Life Cycle and Developmental Tasks

Family denotes a group of people affiliated by consanguinity, affinity or co-residence.  Realigning relationships with families of origin to include parenting and grandparenting roles

Family life has its own rhythm and while this model has its roots in the idea of a nuclear family, the developmental
challenges are shared in families with different structures. This model is based on that of Carter & Goldrick (1999)
and Carr (2006)  Facilitating children to develop peer relationships

The stages of family life

Stage 6. Family with adolescents

Stage 1: Family of origin experiences

During this phase the main tasks are:

During this phase the main tasks are:

 Adjusting parent-child relationships to allow adolescents more autonomy

 Maintaining relationships with parents, siblings and peers *Completing education

 Adjusting family relationships to focus on midlife relationship and career issues

 Developing the foundations of a model of family life

 Taking on responsibility of caring for families of origin

Stage 2: Leaving home

During this phase the main tasks are:

Stage 7: Launching children

 Differentiation of self from family of origin and parents and developing adult to adult relationships
During this phase the main tasks are:

with parents *Developing intimate peer relationships.


 Resolving midlife issues
 Negotiating adult to adult relationships with children
 Adjusting to living as a couple again
 Adjusting to including in-laws and grandchildren within the family circle
 Dealing with disabilities and death in the family of origin
Stage 8: Later family life
During this phase the main tasks are:
 Coping with physiological decline in self and others
 Adjusting to children taking a more central role in family maintenance
 Valuing the wisdom and experience of the elderly
 Dealing with loss of spouse and peers
 Preparation for death, life review, reminiscence and integration 1
Stages of the Family Life Cycle
BY ARLENE F. HARDER, MA, MFT
"Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one."
— Jane However
How did your parents react when you left home? Did your mother want to camp out in your dorm room to make
certain you were okay and wouldn't make a mistake she was sure would ruin your life, and did she keep your
room just as you left it, a shrine to your childhood, and a place you could return any time you wanted? Were you
glad your mother was always there to do your laundry and were you eager to tell her everything you did because
you knew it made her happy to know?
On the other hand, when you left home for college, did your mother breathe a sigh of relief, wish you all the luck
in the world, and turn your room into her study? And were you glad to be out of the house, away from all her rules
and regulations, and were fairly mum about your activities, and didn't ask for her opinion on what courses you
should take?
Each family approaches the transition from living-at-home to launching-into-the-world a little differently. As a
family moves from one stage of life to another, they have to navigate new territory in which the rules of the game
have shifted. It can be very stressful.
During the middle of a stage within a family's life cycle, patterns of behavior become comfortable and everyone
rather knows what is expected of them. Then, seemingly suddenly, there is a shift. A "child" (though now in her
twenties or, often these days, even in her thirties) begins her own family and the parents need to back away.
Intrusions into their daughter's life may be welcomed by her, because she is used to relying on her parents for
support. But in-laws butting into her life may not be welcome by her new husband. Such is the making of mother-
in-law jokes.
Few of us make the transition from one stage to another seamlessly. But it is helpful to know that there is a
pattern of life that flows through all families. Of course, the age at which an individual leaves home and the time
when he or she enters into a relationship and has children will vary considerably from one person to another, and
from one culture or era to another. Nevertheless, the stages of the family life cycle remain the same.
The following description of these stages is based on my own graduate school work and a variety of resources,
such as Family Therapy: An Overview by Goldenberg and Goldenberg.
Stage One: Single young adults leave home
Here the emotional change is from the reliance on the family to acceptance of emotional and financial
responsibility for ourselves. Second-order changes (see sidebar) include differentiation of self in relation to family
of origin. This means we neither blindly accept what our parents believe or want us to do, nor do we automatically
respond negatively to their requests. Our beliefs and behaviors are now part of our own identity, though we will
change and refine what we believe throughout our lives. Also, during this period we develop intimate peer
relationships on a deeper level than we had previously and become financially independent.
Stage Two: The new couple joins their families through marriage or living together
The major emotional transition during this phase is through commitment to the new system. Second-order change
involves the formation of a marital system and realignment of relationships with extended families and friends that
includes our spouses.
Stage Three: Families with young children
Emotionally we must now accept new members into the system. This isn't hard initially because babies come to
us in sweet innocent packages that open our hearts. Unfortunately, in the middle of the night we may wonder
what we've gotten ourselves into. Nevertheless, we adjust the marital system to make space for our children,
juggling child rearing, financial and household tasks. Second-order change also occurs with the realignment of
relationships with extended family as it opens to include the parenting and grandparenting roles.
Stage Four: Families with adolescents
Emotional transitions are hard here for the whole family because we need to increase the flexibility of a family's
boundaries to include children's independence and grandparents' frailties. As noted above, second-order change
is required in order for the shifting of the parent-child relationship to permit adolescents to move in and out of the
system. Now there is a new focus on midlife marital and career issues and the beginning shift toward joint caring
for the older generation when both children and aging parents demand our attention, creating what is now called
the sandwich generation.
Stage Five: Launching children and moving on
This is one of the transitions that can be most emotionally difficult for parents as they now need to accept a
multitude of exits from and entries into the family system. If the choices of the children leaving the nest are
compatible with the values and expectations of the parents, the transition can be relatively easy and enjoyable,
especially if the parents successfully navigate their second-order changes, such as renegotiation of the marital
system as a couple rather than as simply parents. Other developmental changes include development of adult-to-
adult relationships between us and our grown children, inclusion of in-laws and grandchildren, and dealing with
the disabilities and death of our own parents. (See Letting Go of Our Adult Children: When What We Do is Never
Enough for what can happen when transitions in this stage become particularly bumpy.)
Stage Six: Families in later life
When Erik Erikson discusses this stage, he focuses on how we as individuals either review our lives with
acceptance and a sense of accomplishment or with bitterness and regret. A family systems approach, however, is
interested in how the family as a unit responds and sees the key emotional principle as accepting the shifting of
generational roles. Second-order changes require us to maintain our own interests and functioning as a couple in
face of physiological decline. We shift our focus onto the middle generation (the children who are still in stage
five) and support them as they launch their own children. In this process the younger generation needs to make
room for the wisdom and experience of the elderly, supporting the older generation without overfunctioning for
them. Other second-order change includes dealing with the loss of our spouse, siblings, and peers and the
preparation for our own death and the end of our generation.
© Copyright 2002, Arlene F. Harder, MA, MFT
Erik Erikson's Stages Recognize Life as Opportunities to Grow
BY ARLENE F. HARDER, MA, MFT
"How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic
with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these."
— George Washington Carver
Our personality traits come in opposites. We think of ourselves as optimistic or pessimistic, independent or
dependent, emotional or unemotional, adventurous or cautious, leader or follower, aggressive or passive. Many of
these are inborn temperament traits, but other characteristics, such as feeling either competent or inferior, appear
to be learned, based on the challenges and support we receive in growing up.
The man who did a great deal to explore this concept is Erik Erikson. Although he was influenced by Freud, he
believed that the ego exists from birth and that behavior is not totally defensive. Based in part on his study of
Sioux Indians on a reservation, Erikson became aware of the massive influence of culture on behavior and placed
more emphasis on the external world, such as depression and wars. He felt the course of development is
determined by the interaction of the body (genetic biological programming), mind (psychological), and cultural
(ethos) influences.
He organized life into eight stages that extend from birth to death (many developmental theories only cover
childhood). Since adulthood covers a span of many years, Erikson divided the stages of adulthood into the
experiences of young adults, middle aged adults and older adults. While the actual ages may vary considerably
from one stage to another, the ages seem to be appropriate for the majority of people.
Erikson's basic philosophy might be said to rest on two major themes: (1) the world gets bigger as we go along
and (2) failure is cumulative. However, for a different perspective on the effect of stages on personality, be
sure to read the sidebar for how some people feel there is always a chance to learn what we missed earlier in life.
As you read through the following eight stages with their sets of opposites, notice which strengths you identify
with most and those you need to work on some more.
1. Infancy: Birth to 18 Months
Ego Development Outcome: Trust vs. Mistrust
Basic strength: Drive and Hope
Erikson also referred to infancy as the Oral Sensory Stage (as anyone might who watches a baby put everything
in her mouth) where the major emphasis is on the mother's positive and loving care for the child, with a big
emphasis on visual contact and touch. If we pass successfully through this period of life, we will learn to trust that
life is basically okay and have basic confidence in the future. If we fail to experience trust and are constantly
frustrated because our needs are not met, we may end up with a deep-seated feeling of worthlessness and
a mistrust of the world in general.
Incidentally, many studies of suicides and suicide attempts point to the importance of the early years in
developing the basic belief that the world is trustworthy and that every individual has a right to be here.
Not surprisingly, the most significant relationship is with the maternal parent, or whoever is our most significant
and constant caregiver.
2. Early Childhood: 18 Months to 3 Years
Ego Development Outcome: Autonomy vs. Shame
Basic Strengths: Self-control, Courage, and Will
During this stage we learn to master skills for ourselves. Not only do we learn to walk, talk and feed ourselves, we
are learning finer motor development as well as the much appreciated toilet training. Here we have the
opportunity to build self-esteem and autonomy as we gain more control over our bodies and acquire new skills,
learning right from wrong. And one of our skills during the "Terrible Two's" is our ability to use the powerful word
"NO!" It may be pain for parents, but it develops important skills of the will.
It is also during this stage, however, that we can be very vulnerable. If we're shamed in the process of toilet
training or in learning other important skills, we may feel great shame and doubt of our capabilities and suffer low
self-esteem as a result.
The most significant relationships are with parents.
3. Play Age: 3 to 5 Years
Ego Development Outcome: Initiative vs. Guilt
Family Life Cycle - Topic Overview
Basic Strength: Purpose

During this period we experience a desire to copy the adults around us and take initiative in creating play
situations. We make up stories with Barbie's and Ken's, toy phones and miniature cars, playing out roles in a trial What is a family life cycle?
universe, experimenting with the blueprint for what we believe it means to be an adult. We also begin to use that
wonderful word for exploring the world—"WHY?"
The emotional and intellectual stages you pass through from childhood to your retirement years as a member of a

While Erikson was influenced by Freud, he downplays biological sexuality in favor of the psychosocial features of
conflict between child and parents. Nevertheless, he said that at this stage we usually become involved in the family are called the family life cycle. In each stage, you face challenges in your family life that cause you to build
classic "Oedipal struggle" and resolve this struggle through "social role identification." If we're frustrated over
natural desires and goals, we may easily experience guilt.
or gain new skills. Gaining these skills helps you work through the changes that nearly every family goes through.

The most significant relationship is with the basic family.

4. School Age: 6 to 12 Years Not everyone passes through these stages smoothly. Situations such as severe illness, financial problems, or the

Ego Development Outcome: Industry vs. Inferiority

death of a loved one can have an effect on how well you pass through the stages. Fortunately, if you miss skills in
Basic Strengths: Method and Competence
During this stage, often called the Latency, we are capable of learning, creating and accomplishing numerous one stage, you can learn them in later stages.
new skills and knowledge, thus developing a sense of industry. This is also a very social stage of development
and if we experience unresolved feelings of inadequacy and inferiority among our peers, we can have serious
problems in terms of competence and self-esteem.

The stages of the family life cycle are:

As the world expands a bit, our most significant relationship is with the school and neighborhood. Parents are no
longer the complete authorities they once were, although they are still important.

5. Adolescence: 12 to 18 Years  Independence.

Ego Development Outcome: Identity vs. Role Confusion

 Coupling or marriage.
Basic Strengths: Devotion and Fidelity
Up to this stage, according to Erikson, development mostly depends upon what is done to us. From here on out,


development depends primarily upon what we do. And while adolescence is a stage at which we are neither a
child nor an adult, life is definitely getting more complex as we attempt to find our own identity, struggle with Parenting: babies through adolescents.
social interactions, and grapple with moral issues.

Our task is to discover who we are as individuals separate from our family of origin and as members of a wider
society. Unfortunately for those around us, in this process many of us go into a period of withdrawing from  Launching adult children.
responsibilities, which Erikson called a "moratorium." And if we are unsuccessful in navigating this stage, we will
experience role confusion and upheaval.

A significant task for us is to establish a philosophy of life and in this process we tend to think in terms of ideals,
 Retirement or senior years.
which are conflict free, rather than reality, which is not. The problem is that we don't have much experience and
find it easy to substitute ideals for experience. However, we can also develop strong devotion to friends and
causes.

Why is it important to understand the family life cycle?

It is no surprise that our most significant relationships are with peer groups.

6. Young adulthood: 18 to 35 Mastering the skills and milestones of each stage allows you to successfully move from one stage of development

Ego Development Outcome: Intimacy and Solidarity vs. Isolation

to the next. If you don't master the skills, you may still move on to the next phase of the cycle, but you are more
Basic Strengths: Affiliation and Love
In the initial stage of being an adult we seek one or more companions and love. As we try to find mutually likely to have difficulty with relationshipsand future transitions. Family life cycle theory suggests that successful
satisfying relationships, primarily through marriage and friends, we generally also begin to start a family, though
this age has been pushed back for many couples who today don't start their families until their late thirties. If
negotiating this stage is successful, we can experience intimacy on a deep level. transitioning may also help to prevent disease and emotional or stress-related disorders.

If we're not successful, isolation and distance from others may occur. And when we don't find it easy to create
satisfying relationships, our world can begin to shrink as, in defense, we can feel superior to others.
Whether you are a parent or child, brother or sister, bonded by blood or love, your experiences through the family

Our significant relationships are with marital partners and friends.

life cycle will affect who you are and who you become. The more you understand about the challenges of each

7. Middle Adulthood: 35 to 55 or 65
stage of the cycle, the more likely you are to successfully move on.
Ego Development Outcome: Generativity vs. Self absorption or Stagnation
Basic Strengths: Production and Care
Now work is most crucial. Erikson observed that middle-age is when we tend to be occupied with creative and What can disrupt the normal cycle?
meaningful work and with issues surrounding our family. Also, middle adulthood is when we can expect to "be in
charge," the role we've longer envied.
The stress of daily living or coping with a chronic medical condition or other crisis disrupts the normal family cycle.
The significant task is to perpetuate culture and transmit values of the culture through the family (taming the kids)
and working to establish a stable environment. Strength comes through care of others and production of
something that contributes to the betterment of society, which Erikson calls generativity, so when we're in this A crisis or ongoing stress can delay the transition to the next phase of life. Or you may move on without the skills
stage we often fear inactivity and meaninglessness.
that you need to succeed.
As our children leave home, or our relationships or goals change, we may be faced with major life changes—the
mid-life crisis—and struggle with finding new meanings and purposes. If we don't get through this stage
successfully, we can become self-absorbed and stagnate.
How can I improve my family life cycle?
Significant relationships are within the workplace, the community and the family.

Be assured, you can learn missed skills and improve your and your family's quality of life at any stage. Self-
8. Late Adulthood: 55 or 65 to Death
Ego Development Outcome: Integrity vs. Despair examination, education, and perhaps counseling are ways to improve yourself and your family life. These are also
Basic Strengths: Wisdom
actions that can help you manage other issues, too, such as going through a divorce or being a part of a
Erikson felt that much of life is preparing for the middle adulthood stage and the last stage is recovering from it.
Perhaps that is because as older adults we can often look back on our lives with happiness and are content,
feeling fulfilled with a deep sense that life has meaning and we've made a contribution to life, a feeling Erikson nontraditional family structure.3
calls integrity. Our strength comes from a wisdom that the world is very large and we now have a detached
concern for the whole of life, accepting death as the completion of life.

On the other hand, some adults may reach this stage and despair at their experiences and perceived failures.
They may fear death as they struggle to find a purpose to their lives, wondering "Was the trip worth it?" Duvall defines a family developmental task as a growth responsibility that arises at a certain stage in the life of a
Alternatively, they may feel they have all the answers (not unlike going back to adolescence) and end with a
strong dogmatism that only their view has been correct. family, successful achievement of which leads to satisfaction, and success with later tasks, while failure leads to

The significant relationship is with all of mankind—"my-kind." unhappiness in the family, disapproval by society, and difficulty with later family developmental tasks. 4

© Copyright 2002, Arlene F. Harder, MA, MFT

www.childhoodaffirmations.com/.../family/stages.html 2
Developmental Tasks for the Individual and the Family
Family activities with the school-age child revolve around expanding the child’s world.
Stage I. Infant
1. Keeping lines of communication open among family members.
Developmental Tasks 2. Working together to achieve common goals.
3. Planning a life-style within economic means.
Infancy is far from what some have assumed – a time for rigidly and mechanically handling the baby because he 4. Finding creative ways to continue a mutually satisfactory married life.
seems to have so little capability as an adapting human being. The following developmental tasks are to be 5. Providing for parental privacy and space for children’s play.
accomplished in infancy: 6. Maintaining close ties with relatives.
7. Expanding family life into the community through various activities.
1. Achieve physiological equilibrium after birth. 8. Validating the family philosophy of life. The philosophy is tested when the child brings home new ideas and
2. Establish self as a dependent person but separate from others. talks about different lifestyles he has encountered, forcing the family to re-examine their patterns
3. Become aware of the “alive versus the inanimate” and “familiar versus unfamiliar” and develop rudimentary of living.
social interaction.
4. Develop a feeling of and desire for affection and response from others.
5. Adjust somewhat to the expectations of others. Stage V. Adolescent
6. Manage the changing body and learn new motor skills, develop equilibrium, begin hand-eye coordination, and
establish rest-activity and rhythm. Developmental Tasks
7. Learn to understand and control the physical world through exploration.
8. Develop a beginning symbol system, conceptual abilities, and preverbal communication. Adolescence is a stressful for time for both individuals and families given the demands of changes taking place.
9. Direct emotional expression to indicate needs and wishes. Until these tasks are accomplished, the person remains immature – an adolescent regardless of chronological
age.
Family Developmental Tasks
1. Accepting the changing body – size, shape, and function and understanding the meaning of physical maturity.
1. Income adjustments. 2. Learning to handle the body in a variety of physical skills and to maintain good health.
2. Role shifts. 3. Achieving a satisfying and socially accepted feminine or masculine role, recognizing how these roles have
3. Re-adjustment of personal goals toward family goals. similarities and distinctions.
4. Linkage with extended family. 4. Finding the self as a member of one or more peer groups and developing skills in relating to a variety of
people, including those of the opposite sex.
5. Achieving independence from parents and other adults while maintaining a mature affection and
Stage II. Toddler interdependence with them.
6. Selecting a satisfying occupation in line with interests and abilities and preparing for economic independence.
Developmental Tasks 7. Preparing to settle down, frequently for marriage and family life, or for a close relationship with another by
developing a responsible attitude, acquiring needed knowledge, making appropriate decisions,
The constantly sensitive situation of the toddler gaining autonomy and independence – at times over-reaching and forming a relationship based on lave rather than infatuation.
and needing parent’s help, at times needing the freedom from parent’s protection – is one which you can help 8. Developing the intellectual and work skills and social sensitivities of a competent citizen.
parents understand. His future personality and health will depend partially on how these many opportunities are 9. Developing a workable philosophy, a mature set of values, and worthy ideals.
handled at this time.
Family Developmental Tasks
1. Settling into healthy daily routines.
2. Mastering good eating habits. The teenage stage of the family life cycle is entered when the child becomes 13 and the stage ends when he
3. Mastering the basics of toilet-training. leaves the family circle to assume his role as a young adult through work, marriage, or military
4. Developing the physical skills appropriate to his stage of motor development. service. The overall family goal at this time is to allow the adolescent greater freedom and
5. Becoming a family member. responsibility to prepare him for young adulthood. Although each family member has personal
6. Learning to communicate effectively with others. developmental tasks, the family unit as a whole also has developmental tasks.
Generally speaking, the developmental tasks for a family at this time involve maintaining a grasp of those facets
Family Developmental Tasks of life which continue to have meaning, while striving for a deeper awareness and understanding
of the present situation.
1. Meeting the spiraling costs of family living.
2. Providing a home that is safe, comfortable, and has adequate space. 1. Provide facilities for individual differences and needs of family members.
3. Maintaining sexual involvement which meets both partners’ needs. 2. Work out a system of financial responsibility within the family.
4. Developing a satisfactory division of labor. 3. Establish a sharing of responsibilities.
5. Promoting understanding between the toddler and his family. 4. Re-establish a mutually satisfying marriage relationship.
6. Determining whether the family will have more children. 5. Strengthen communication within the family.
7. Re-dedicating themselves, among many dilemmas, to their decision to be a child-bearing family. 6. Rework relationships with relatives, friends, and associates.
7. Broaden horizons of the adolescents and parents.
8. Formulate a workable philosophy of life as a family.
Stage III. Preschooler

Developmental Tasks Stage VI. Young Adult

While the preschool child and his siblings are achieving their developmental tasks, the parents are struggling with Developmental Tasks
childrearing and their own personal developmental tasks.
The specific developmental tasks of the youth as he is making the transition from adolescence into young
1. Achieve physical health. adulthood can be summarized as the following: choosing a vocation, getting appropriate
2. Ability to finish tasks. education or training, and formulating ideas about selection of a mate or someone with whom to
3. Count to 20 or more. have a close relationship. For the young adult in general, the following tasks must be achieved
4. Take turns and share. regardless of his station in life.
5. Learn problem-solving skills.
6. Is enthusiastic and curious when approaching new activities. 1. Accepting self and stabilizing self-concept and body image.
7. Is able to use pencils or paintbrushes. 2. Establishing independence from parental home and financial aid.
8. Has good language skills. 3. Becoming established in a vocation or profession that provides personal satisfaction, economic independence,
9. Is sensitive to other children’s feelings. and a feeling of making a worthwhile contribution to society.
10. Can sit still and pay attention. 4. Learning to appraise and express love responsibly through more than sexual contact.
11. Knows the letters of the alphabet. 5. Establishing an intimate bond with another, either through marriage or with a close friendship.
12. Can follow directions. 6. Establishing and managing a residence or home.
13. Identifies primary colors and basic shapes. 7. Finding a congenial social group.
14. Communicates needs, wants, and thoughts in their primary language. 8. Deciding whether or not to have a family.
9. Formulating a meaningful philosophy of life.
Family Developmental Tasks 10. Becoming an involved citizen in the community.

1. Encourage and accept evolving skills rather than elevating self-esteem by pushing the child beyond his
capacity. Satisfaction is found through reducing assistance with physical care and giving more
guidance in other respects.
2. Supply adequate housing, facilities, space, equipment, and other materials needed for life, comfort, health,
and recreation.
3. Plan for predicted and unexpected costs of family life such as medical care, insurance, education, babysitter
fees, food, clothing, and recreation.
4. Maintain some privacy and provide an outlet for tension of family members while including the child as a
participant in the family.
5. Share household and child-care responsibility with other family members, including the child.
6. Strengthen the partnership with the mate and express affection in ways that keep the relationship from
becoming boring.
7. Learn to accept failures, mistakes, and blunders without piling up feelings of guilt, blame, and recrimination.
8. Nourish common interests and friendships to strengthen self-respect and self-confidence and to remain
interesting to each other.
9. Maintain a mutually satisfactory sexual relationship and plan whether or not to have more children.
10. Create and maintain effective communication within the family.
11. Cultivate relationships with the extended family.
12. Tap resources and serve others outside the family to prevent preoccupation with self and family.
13. Face life’s dilemmas and rework moral codes, spiritual values, and a philosophy of life.
Family Developmental Tasks
In summary, the following tasks must be accomplished by the family of the young adult.
1. Rearranging the home physically and reallocating the resources (space, material objects, etc.) to meet the
needs of remaining members.
2. Meeting the expenses of releasing the offspring and redistributing the budget.
3. Redistributing the responsibilities among grown and growing children and between the husband and wife on
the basis of interests, specialty, and availability.
4. Maintaining communication within the family to contribute to marital happiness while remaining available to
young adult and other offspring.
5. Enjoying mutual companionship as a husband-wife team while incorporating changes.
6. Widening the family circle to include the close friends of spouses of the offspring as well as the entire family of
in-laws.
7. Reconciling conflicting loyalties and philosophies of life.
Stage VII. Middle Age
Family Developmental Tasks

In summary, the following developmental tasks must be accomplished for the middle-aged family to survive and
Stage IV. School Age achieve happiness, harmony, and maturity.

Developmental Tasks 1. Maintain a pleasant and comfortable home.

2. Assure security for later years, financially and emotionally.
While the school child continues working on past developmental tasks, he is confronted with a series of new ones. 3. Share household responsibilities.
The accomplishment of these tasks gives the school child a foundation for entering adolescence, an era filled with 4. Draw emotionally closer as a couple.
dramatic growth and changing attitudes. 5. Maintain contact with grown children and their families.
6. Keep in touch with aging parents, siblings, their families, and other relatives and friends.
1. Decreasing dependence upon family and gaining some satisfaction from peers and other adults. 7. Participate in community life beyond the family.
2. Increasing neuromuscular skills so that he can participate in games and work with others. 8. Reaffirm the values of life that have real meaning – philosophical, religious, and social.
3. Learning basic adult concepts and knowledge to be able to reason and engage in the tasks of everyday living.
4. Learning ways to communicate with others realistically. Stage VIII. Aging Couple
5. Becoming a more active and cooperative family participant.
6. Giving and receiving affection to family and friends without immediately seeking or giving a gift in return. Family Developmental Tasks
7. Learning socially acceptable ways of getting money and saving it for later satisfaction.
8. Learning how to handle strong feelings and impulses appropriately. The following developmental tasks are to be achieved by the aging couple as a family as well as by the aging
9. Adjusting his changing body image and self-concept to come to terms with the masculine and feminine social person alone.
role.
10. Discovering healthy ways of becoming acceptable as a person. 1. Decide where and how to live out the remaining years.
11. Developing a positive attitude toward his own and other social, racial, economic, and religious groups. 2. Continue a supportive, close, warm relationship with a spouse or significant other, including a satisfying sexual
relationship.
Family Developmental Tasks
3. Find a satisfactory home or living arrangement and establish a safe, comfortable household routine to fit health Family with • Children belonging to OC: The child is smiling  Safety and risk-
and economic status. Toddler this level and mingles with taking
4. Adjust living standards to retirement income; supplement retirement income. (Child J1 of 3 manifests autonomy or act people even if he doesn’t strategies must be
5. Maintain maximum level of health; care for self physically and emotionally. years old) of know them. balanced
6. Maintain contact with children, grandchildren, and other living relatives – finding emotional satisfaction with being independent. They SC: During a home visit, it to permit growth
them. do not was noted that
7. Maintain interest in people outside the family and in social, civic, and political responsibility. want to be interfered or the child insists of doing
8. Pursue new interests and maintain former activities in order to gain status, recognition, and a feeling of being interrupted, or even things on his own. Often
needed. assumed times, he has temper
9. Find meaning in life after retirement and in facing inevitable illness and death of oneself, spouse, and other from their activity. They tantrums when he cannot
loved ones. always do what he
10. Work out a significant philosophy of life, finding comfort in that philosophy or religion. want to do things by wants to do.
11. Adjust to the death of spouse and other loved ones. 5 themselves
• During this stage,
parents must
FAMILY DEVELOPMENTAL THEORY :  know how to deal with the
by Nirmala Roberts Paediatric Nursing child’s needs. The
mothers
DEVELOPMENTAL THEORY :  should give ample time to
DEVELOPMENTAL THEORY Developed by Duvall (1977) & Rogers (1962) Duvall described 8 developmental let
tasks of the family through out it’s life span (from Erickson’s) Rogers - Role theory Family – A small group, a the child finish his activity
semi-closed system of personalities that interacts with the larger cultural social system Changes in one part SC: “Kani akong anak, dili
effects a series of changes in the other parts palahilak.
Pwede ra nako ibilin sa
iyang kuya.
Duvall’s Developmental Theory :  Usahay kung manglaba
Duvall’s Developmental Theory Addresses family change over time in life cycle Based on predictable changes in ko, ako ra
structure, function and roles of the family Age of the older child is the marker for stage transition Arrival of first siyang patulgon sa duyan
child marks the transition from Stage I to Stage II As the first child grows and develops, the family enters ug ako ra
subsequent stages At every stage family is at a developmental task At the same time, each member of the family siayng biyaan.” As
must achieve individual developmental task verbalized Mrs.
L.
Duvall’s Developmental Stages of the Family : 

Stage I : 
Stage I Marriage & independent home – The joining of families Re-establish couple identity Realign relationships INDIVIDUAL DEVELOPMENTAL TASK by Havighurst Theory of Developmental Tasks of Individual
with extended family Make decisions regarding parenthood

Stage II :  Stage Age Central Task Actual (+) (-) Indicators Nursing
Stage II Families with infants Integrate infants into family unit Accommodate to new parenting and grand Manifestation Indicators of of Resolution Interpretation
parenting roles Maintain marital bond Resolution
Stage III :  INFANCY 4 Trust versus SC: “Ang • • •
Stage III Families with preschoolers Socialize children Parents & children adjust to separation ‘Child J2’ month Mistrust akong anak Learning to Mistrust, The central
s mututoy man trust withdrawal, task of
Stage IV :  kung others estrangement the infant is
Stage IV Families with Schoolchildren Children develop peer relations Parents adjust to their children's, peer and patutyon nako. trust.
school influence Muduol His reliance to
man siya ug his
Stage V :  lain tao, mother
Stage V Families with teenagers Adolescents develop increasing autonomy Parental focus on midlife marital and pero muhilak justifies that
career issues Parents begin shift toward concern for older generation dayon kay he trusts her
wala man siya mother.
Stage VI :  kaila.” As •
Stage VI Families as launching centers Parents & young adults establish independent identities Renegotiate verbalized by To promote a
marital relationship Mrs. L worthwhile
OC: The child mother-
Stage VII :  exhibits child
Stage VII Middle aged families Re-invest in couple identity with concurrent development of independent interests dependence to relationship, it
Re-align relationships to include in-laws and grand children Deal with disabilities & death of older generation his is
mother as recommended
Stage VIII :  much as the to
Stage VIII Aging families Shift from work role to leisure and semiretirement or full retirement Maintain couple and child doesn’t increase
individual functioning while adapting to the aging process Prepare for own death and dealing with the loss of cling to further
spouse and/ or siblings and other peers other people. supervision
and
Family Developmental Stages for Divorce :  guidance.
Family Developmental Stages for Divorce Stage I – Decision to divorce Accept inability to resolve marital discord
Stage II – Planning the breakup Create viable arrangements for all members of the family Stage III – Separation TODDLER 3 Autonomy SC: “Kini si J1, • • •
Develop cooperative co-parenting relationships Stage IV – Divorce Resolve the emotional divorce Stage V – ‘Child J1’ years versus magtuman Self Control Compulsive Safety and
Single parent family OR Non custodial single parent Maintain parental contact with children (Non custodial parent) old Shame & gyud sa without Loss self risk-
Maintain relationship with ex in-laws (custodial parent) Rebuild personal social network Doubt iyang gusto of restraint or taking
buhaton, Self-Esteem compliance strategies
Application in Nursing Practice :  unya masuko • • must be
Application in Nursing Practice Assess the level of accomplishment of the families Assess the effect of illness on kung Ability to Willfulness & balanced to
family development Plan means to assist families to achieve the developmental task for that stage badlungon. cooperate Defiance permit growth
Gahi kaayo and to
Slide 15:  ug ulo.” As express
Include family in the work plan (the patient is the family) Thorough family assessment (for strengths & verbalized oneself
weaknesses) Anticipatory guidance Crisis intervention by Mrs. L.
OC: Child J1
FAMILY NURSING INTERVENTIONS :  doesn’t
FAMILY NURSING INTERVENTIONS Behaviour modification Case management & coordination Collaborative listen to what
strategies Contracting Counseling Empowering through active participation Environmental modification Family his mother
advocacy Family crisis intervention Networking (self-help groups, social support) Providing information & technical tells him to do.
expertise Role modeling Role supplementation Teaching strategies – stress management, lifestyle modification, He
anticipatory guidance insists on
doing things
Situation :  on his own. He
Situation 3 yr old Raju is admitted to your ward with Ac Gastro-enteritis with Mrs Lakshmi, his mother as doesn’t
attendant. 6 yr old Rashmi (in first std) and 1½ yr old Ramesh are his siblings. His father runs a grocery shop and want to be
mother is a house wife. Discuss application of the family theories when working with this family. managed by
other people.
Comparison of family theories : 
EARLY 24 Intimacy SC: “Palangga • • •
Comparison of family theories 6
ADULTHOO years versus man ko Intimate Impersonal Encourage
D old Isolation sa akong relationship relationship separation
‘Mrs. L’ bana. Siya with • from
man another Avoidance parents,
FAMILY DEVELOPMENTAL TASK
gani magluto person from achievement
Definition: The family developmental task shows the skills and behavioral patterns of a family learned during
sa among • relationship, of
various developmental stage and age.7
pagkaon kung Commitment career or independence
naa siya to lifestyle and
STAGE NORMAL ACTUAL INTERPRETATION diri sa balay, work and commitments decision-
MANIFESTATION MANIFESTATION ug dili pud relationships making
ko niya
Family with Infant • Normally, mothers are OC: The child is totally  Control the infant’s pasagdan sa
(Child J2 of 4 sensitive dependent to his environment so that the mga buluhaton
months) to their children’s needs. mother. Often times, the physical and diri sa
Theyrespond immediately child wants psychological balay. Siya
to satisfythe needs of an to be cuddled. Child J2 needs are met. usahay mag
infant smiles and atiman sa mga
• By this stage, the infant responds to strangers but bata kung
learns does not wala siya’y
or initiates to crawl and want to be cuddled by trabaho.” As
creep others. verbalized by
SC: “Nah! Arang gyud ni Mrs. L.
si J1. Kung naa OC: Both the
siya’y buhaton, gusto niya couple
nga siyara gyud mubuhat. exhibits
Masuko pa closeness as
kungtabangan. Perti manifested by
kaayong bataa.” helping in
Asverbalized by Mrs. L. household
chores during
 one of the 6. Education Attainment/Vocational Skills – Education is one source of empowerment. The present
home visits economic condition has great effect in the separation of families where a great majority of
we have grassroots families are experiencing because they are the ones who have less opportunity for
conducted. work and therefore could not support his family simple because they are non-degree holders
Often times, whose better work and salary is higher as compared to degree holders. The vision and
the perception of a well educated person could be different from that of an individual who is not well
husband is the educated and unless adequate care is taken, this could be a source of disagreement. It maybe
one who necessary to avoid to much gap in educational attainment in order to prevent conflict and marital
shows more instability.
care to the 7. Value Orientation – Ezeilo (1995) noted that establishment and acceptance of common goals
wife. and values by family members especially husband and wife ensure cohesion in the family
system. A common goal can be easily achieved when members of the family discuss issues
‘Mr. J’ 29 Generativity SC: “Ang ako • Creativity, • Self- • Accept affecting them and work together as one. Thus, prospective couples need to set common goals
years versus mang Productivity, indulgence, adult’s and values and work together to achieve such.
old Stagnation bana ang Concern for Self-concern, chosen 8. Nature of Job – The nature of the couple’s job is one of the important factors that can influence
nangita sa others lack of lifestyle and marital relationship. There are some professions that are time demanding and require a long
amo. Siya interests assist with the absence from home. E.g., call center worker, nurse, doctors, NGO worker, etc..
gyud na & necessary 9. Peer Influence - An adage says, show me who you are and I will tell you who your friends are.
mangita ug commitments adjustments Friends have important influence on teenagers and youths. Thus a suitor whose friends are
paagi kung relating smokers is most likely a smoker too. 1
wala nami to health. 10. Economic Fcator - marriage does not stand for just an occasion but rather the union of the lives
kwarta kay of two people after the celebration . However , before a couple decides to get married ,there must
dili na siya • Recognize be some important decisions that each of them has to make before they finally settle on a more
magsugot na the serious and lifetime commitment .Certainly , before facing the marital , financial , and later on
magutman mi person’s parental obligations , each person in the relationship must analyze the probable consequences of
ug iyang commitments. their spouse selection . In this part , economics is said to be one of the factors that affect the
mga ginikanan. choice of spouse of a person .From courtship to marriage , a certain person might probably have
Dili na • Support as gone through a lot of evaluation regarding the capacity of his or her future spouse to meet his or
siya necessary for her economic needs . In post modern world , most people are getting married at a very young
mahimutang health age . However , there are still a lot of people who evaluate their capacity to have a family first
kung before they commit and bow in front of the altar . According to Becker (1973 ) these past few
walay gatas, years , the economists have been using economic theory to explain societal problems and
sud-an ug behaviors outside the sector of monetary market .2
bugas diri sa
balay. Mao
talagsa ra There is a need to study who you would like to be your spouse to fully understand him/her better and
gyud na siya accept him/her for what he/she is. It may be difficult to find a perfect one however, do your best to get the
makastamabay best in order to avoid marital conflicts that will eventually affect your life, children and family as a whole.
diri sa
balay.” As LDS Dating and Courtship
verbalized How to Know Who to  Marry
by Mrs L., By Rachel Bruner, About.com Guide
referring to Courtship Leading to Temple Marriage
her husband.
REFERENCES:

After following the basic LDS dating rules and guidelines the time will come when you’re ready to work towards
1. Carter, B. & McGoldrick, M. (1999). The Expanded Family Lifecycle. Individual Family and Social
a temple marriage. How will you know who to marry? Prepare yourself through proper dating and courtship and
learn how to build a strong relationship by: dating for a sufficient time, becoming best friends, choosing the right
Perspectives (Third edition). Boston: Allyn & Bacon.
person, building a foundation upon Jesus Christ.

2. www.childhoodaffirmations.com/.../family/stages.html

3. http://children.webmd.com/tc/family-life-cycle-topic-overview Courtship Takes Time

4. Family Developmental Tasks: A Research Model. Frances M. Magrabi and William H. Marshall.
Journal of Marriage and Family. Vol. 27, No. 4 (Nov., 1965), pp. 454-458 Published by: National
Council on Family Relations
One of the most important aspects of the courtship process, which is unfortunately often lacking in LDS dating, is
the very important need to spend ample time together. Although LDS dating online can be an opportunity to meet
other singles, it is extremely important to date face-to-face for a long enough period of time. A few brief dates,
followed by a whirlwind engagement and marriage, does not build a solid foundation for marriage. Such a sandy
foundation will not hold firm when the storms of life come- and they always come.

5. Developmental Tasks for the Individual and the Family.

Avoiding Divorce/Annulment/Separation
faculty.ccri.edu/.../DevelopmentalTasksfortheIndividualandtheFamily.rtf.

"The best way to avoid divorce/annulment/separation from an unfaithful, abusive, or unsupportive spouse is to
6. http://www.scribd.com/doc/6004410/Family-Developmental-Task
avoid marriage to such a person. If you wish to marry well, inquire well. Associations through 'hanging out' or
exchanging information on the Internet are not a sufficient basis for marriage. There should be dating, followed by
7. http://www.authorstream.com/Presentation/anitarobins-338858-family-developmental-theory-
careful and thoughtful and thorough courtship. There should be ample opportunities to experience the prospective
spouse’s behavior in a variety of circumstances" (Dallin H. Oaks, "Divorce," Ensign, May 2007, 70–73).
stages-development-nursing-interventions-application-devt-al-education-ppt-powerpoint/

Don't let yourself get caught up in the moment by jumping into marriage when you're still in the stage of
infatuation and attraction. Take the time necessary to allow your relationship (and knowledge of the one you're
dating) to properly form into a sure foundation.

Becoming Best Friends

TOPIC 2: Choosing a partner
Marriage is an intimate relationship between a husband and wife. It is a conjugal relationship between a woman When you've fallen in love with someone it's easy to believe that you are the best of friends and will always feel
and a man, a union of two people between the opposite sex. It is believed that success of a family largely
the way you do, but falling in love is a temporary emotion, one that eventually fades. It's important when courting
depends on the marital relationship of husband and wife. Consequently, the development of the society is
influenced by the way the marital issues are handled. that you take the time to develop a strong friendship with the one you're dating.

In the Western Culture, divorce is rampant while separation in the Philippines becomes rampant too. Both of
which leads to broken families that has an immense effect on every family.
This is the reason why, every single individual must be careful in choosing his/her partner in life.
Marriage does not start as couple, they first go through courtship and dating.
"Bruce C. Hafen has compared relationships between men and women to a pyramid. The base of the pyramid is
friendship, and the ascending layers include building blocks such as understanding, respect, and restraint. At the
very top is what he terms a 'glittering little mystery called romance.' If one tries to stand the pyramid on its point,
expecting romance to hold everything else up, the pyramid will fall ("The Gospel and Romantic Love," Ensign,
Oct. 1982, p. 67)" (Jonn D. Claybaugh, "Dating: A Time to Become Best Friends," Ensign, Apr 1994, 19).

What are the factors influencing the choice of a spouse? (Marriage and sex Counseling by Yahaya et al.
Building a strong friendship will happen over time as you learn how to communicate together, discuss life's
1. Personality Disposition – This deals with the natural caharacteristics of an individual. Personality important issues, and have good, bad, and stressful experiences together.
Type as in introvert or extrovert etc..
a. Character – honesty, perseverance, loyalty and industry.
Choosing the Right Person
b. Adjustment – the way a person adapts to environment or get along with other
people.
c. Temperament – it relates to whether an individual easily gets angry, easily upset, Here are some things to look for in a potential spouse. Do they:
cool headed or calm.
d. Interest – likes and dislikes.
e. Attitude – this refers to how a person feels about other people, events or things.
An individual’s attitude maybe in favor or against, or indifference to, particular
people, events or things. The understanding of this personality characteristics by
 love God and others

2.
prospective couples, would promote effectiveand efficient marital relationship.
Religious Belief – It influence the adherents behavior. The daily living of an individual is
 value marriage and family
determined by his faith. So in order to promote marital stability and harmony, it is best for the
husband and wife to share common faith that would prevent conflict and give the children a
 respect you

3.
common focus. Eg. Belief in food, treatment etc..
Cultural/Family Background – Scientifically, “likes begets likes” – a tiger begets its kind.  respect themselves
Knowledge of the cultural background of either the spouses are important in
order to find out cultural practices and hereditary traits like psychosis or schizophrenia  have good mental and emotional health
that can be inherit by the children which has to be resolved/trashed out before marriage
to avoid family conflict.  maintain self-control


4. Health Condition – It is essential that information on state of the body and the mind of the person
an individual wants to marry. Some of these are: genotype, rhesus factor, mental ability, sexual honor their parents
experience, HIV status, and state of the psyche or mind. All these are necessary to be bale to
prepare for the challenges of marriage.  obey the commandments
5. Physical Appearance – Everyone has a mental picture of his/her desired spouse. But beauty is in
the hand of the beholder. This must be taken into consideration to avoid conflict in the future.  fulfill church callings including home/visiting teaching?

President Gordon B. Hinckley said:
"Choose a companion you can always honor, you can always respect, one who will complement you in your own
life, one to whom you can give your entire heart, your entire love, your entire allegiance, your entire loyalty"
("Life's Obligations," Ensign, Feb 1999, 2).
Seeking the Perfect Person
Although it is extremely important to date those who have high standards and to observe a potential spouse's
behavior, it's also important to remember that no one is perfect. Elder Richard G. Scott warns against focusing too
heavily on seeking a perfect companion:
"I suggest that you not ignore many possible candidates who are still developing these attributes, seeking the one
who is perfected in them. You will likely not find that perfect person, and if you did, there would certainly be no
interest in you. These attributes are best polished together as husband and wife" ("Receive the Temple
Blessings," Ensign, May 1999, 25).
Working Towards a Temple Marriage
Dating and courtship is the time to continue to prepare for a temple marriage. Being sealed to a spouse in
the temple is the greatest covenant one can make with God- and can only be achieved as a companionship. A
temple wedding seals a husband and wife together for all time and eternity- meaning they will be together again
after this life- and is necessary for exaltation.
Keeping the Law of Chastity
While working towards a temple marriage when dating, a couple must keep the law of chastity, one of the
basic guidelines of LDS dating. Keeping God's commandment to wait to have sexual relations until after marriage
shows respect for both you and those you date.
Relationship Founded Upon Jesus Christ
If you want to have a happy, healthy marriage then it's necessary to build a proper foundation upon the teachings
of Jesus Christ. Some excellent ways to do this are to do the following together:

Family Home Evening
 Scripture study
 Church attendance
 Temple attendance
 Prayer
 Share testimonies
 Church activities
 Institute classes
 Serve each other and others
Having continuous spiritual experiences together will help build a relationship founded upon Jesus Christ and his
teachings.
Making a Decision to Marry
The time will come when you will want to know if the person you are dating is the one you should marry. The Lord
taught Oliver Cowdery how to know the truth:
"But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is
right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right.
"But if it be not right you shall have no such feelings, but you shall have a stupor of thought that shall cause you to
forget the thing which is wrong," (D&C 9:8-9).
This means you must FIRST go through the dating and courtship process and learn for yourself if the one you are
dating is right for you. Then you must make a decision and prayabout it, and the Lord will answer you.
As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints we have high standards regarding LDS dating.
What are those standards? Why should you wait until the age of 16 before dating and whom should you date?
Also learn how proper dating prepares you for a mission and temple marriage.3
Waiting to Date:
LDS Youth are counseled to not date until they are at least 16 years old. Not only is dating during your early youth
not the proper time for dating, but it often leads to inappropriate behavior. The guideline to wait to date is inspired
counsel from Latter-day prophets and when followed it brings blessings.
There are many reasons why this important guideline has been given, including the following:
"In your early teens you are just beginning a process of emotional, social, mental, and physical development that
will go on for years. Dating too early in this maturing process can complicate your life.
"For example, it's not unusual to develop strong romantic feelings during your early teens. With those feelings
often come desires that are made even stronger by the fact that you are maturing physically. And all of this
happens at a time when you still don’t have the emotional and mental maturity to deal with those feelings," ("Q&A:
Questions and Answers," New Era, Feb 2001, 16).
Who Should You Date?:
When choosing someone to date, look for and date only those people who have high moral standards. If you are
unsure if a date would respect you then that's a good indicator to say no, or at least wait until you are sure of that
person's character. A good question to ask yourself when contemplating a possible date is, "Does this person live
the gospel standards?"
Don't date someone you know will tempt you to compromise your standards or your virtue. It's better to not date
then to date someone who does not respect you. As a son or daughter of God you have a right to be respected
as well as respect those you date.
Dating Other Latter-day Saints:
As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ you are strongly encouraged to only date other members of our faith.
Because of our high standards we believe in only dating those who respect and keep the commandments of
Jesus Christ.
The experiences you gain from dating will prepare you for a temple marriage. The chances for a happy, healthy
temple marriage are much greater if you only date other Latter-day Saints who uphold the same standards.
Group and Double Dating:
When you start dating, and throughout your youth, it is best to date in groups or go on double dates. A double
date is when you and your date pair up with another couple, and a group date is when three or more couples
participate in a date together. Dating with other couples is a lot of fun! Not only does it make conversation easier
but there's always a lot more laughter when people pair up and go on group dates together. Group and double
dating also helps keep things light and appropriate.
Refrain from Steady Dating:
Youth should avoid dating the same person too regularly. It's also best to wait until you are older to steadily date
someone, such as after high school and even after a mission. President Gordon B. Hinckley said:
"Steady dating at an early age leads so often to tragedy. Studies have shown that the longer a boy and girl date
one another, the more likely they are to get into trouble
"It is better, my friends, to date a variety of companions until you are ready to marry. Have a wonderful time, but
stay away from familiarity. Keep your hands to yourself" ("A Prophet's Counsel and Prayer for Youth," Ensign, Jan
2001, 2).
LDS Dating and the Law of Chastity:
One of God's greatest commandments is to keep the law of chastity which means to not have any sexual activity
outside of marriage. While dating you should always respect both you and your date by refraining from thinking,
saying, or doing anything that stimulates feelings of desire and arousal. In For the Strength of Youth: Fulfilling Our
Duty to God it says:
"Always treat your date with respect, never as an object to be used for your lustful desires. Stay in areas of safety
where you can easily control your physical feelings. Do not participate in talk or activities that arouse sexual
feelings," ("Sexual Purity," 26).
Preparing for a Mission and Temple Marriage:
Keeping the law of chastity while dating is one of the most important ways to remain worthy when preparing for a
mission and/or a temple marriage. When dating don't do anything that will question your worthiness to serve a
mission and enter the Lord's holy temple.
Through the prophet Alma, the Lord taught us to "bridle all your passions, that ye may be filled with love," (Alma
38:12). Learning how to control yourself while dating will greatly help prepare you for a strong, spiritual future.
Fun, Yet Simple, LDS Dating Ideas:
Dating doesn't have to be expensive! Not only is it impractical, but planning an extravagant date is unnecessary,
even for a formal date. Browse through these great LDS dating ideasto find some simple and fun things you can
plan for your next date. Many of these dating ideas are relatively inexpensive or even free.
Dating can be fun as you remember your standards and refrain from becoming too serious too soon. The time will
eventually come when you will be ready to prepare for temple marriage through steady dating and courtship. Until
then choose to uphold your standards and follow the Lord's counsel while dating.4