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Tiffany Green
HS 2300
Prof. Diritsky

HS 2300

SYNTHESIS/REFLECTION PAPER
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Tiffany Green
HS 2300
Prof. Diritsky

Throughout the course there were so many concepts and issues discussed. Many I knew nothing

about before enrolling into this course. I was to model some of the teaching in class through our

“simulated family”. Having that hands on practice was very helpful with exploring different

family settings. I was able to go in depth with the readings and ask questions on current

situations that addressed similar issues. Overall the entire course was very informative and I

know ill be able to apply many of this to my own personal and professional life.

The characteristics of the Family System is a model used to evaluate a family’s strengths and

challenges through six concepts. Community, where members are linked to one another by

common goals, purpose and values. Each member in a family is unique and possess different

qualities and each contribute to the best interest of the family. In healthy families members

typically don’t stray from this community during maturation. Boundaries, implicit rules that

determine how family members or subsystems are expected to relate to one another and non-

family members. I’ve learned that this characteristic is having clear understanding about the

appropriateness of information shared between parent and child. Having boundaries make it clear

to determine how each family member participate. On a scale of boundaries there are two

extremes. Disengaged , which is an extreme degree of individuality and separation among family

members. Children raised in disengaged families grow up isolated and become withdrawn. On

the other end of the boundaries scale, enmeshed. Enmeshed families are overly involved in

another individuals life, including emotionally. These families over share information, have no

privacy and join in on decision making. Boundaries allow for healthy subsystems. Roles,
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Tiffany Green
HS 2300
Prof. Diritsky

determined pattern of behavior for and individuals status in a family. Roles are learned from the

family of origin. We learn our roles in each of our relationships and are clear and defined. Power

and hierarchy, having the ability to influence and control over others. Parents have the influence

in a family, so there is no clash of powers between parent and child. In unhealthy families,

triangulation may develop when distribution of power is in appropriately placed. Rules, refer to

the repetitious pattern of behavior. Rules may be overt or covert, can be changed or rigid. In

healthy families rules should be flexible and age appropriate. Communication, verbal and

nonverbal exchange of information among family members and the world. Messages should

have specific meaning and given the basis of context in which they are given. Positive and clear

communication has intention, say what you mean. I was able to apply these characteristics to my

own family of origin. I discovered that I was raised in an extremely unhealthy disengaged family

system. My family lacked many of the characteristics in the family system. I grew up not

knowing my role and with boundaries. After becoming a mother I wanted to raise my own

children differently from how I had been brought up. Without having any clear or defined

instruction, I just wanted to teach them everything my mother did not teach me. After learning

how to properly apply these characteristics, knowing my current family is not the optimal

healthy family but we have a decent balance not tipping the scale more in any direction. I am

able to take the information learned to properly identify a family’s strength and therapeutically

establish trust in relationships and families and work to begin to build healthy relationships.

Learning the characteristics of the Family System was very important to know to assist with the

initial interview. Working with families can be challenging. Learning and modeling the initial

interview proved to be challenging and informative. The interview is composed of seven steps
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Tiffany Green
HS 2300
Prof. Diritsky

and should be looked at as a host-guest relationship. The family should be put at ease during the

introduction by making sure the family is comfortable, small talk is essential. Attention should

be paid to the positioning of the family, their seating arrangement could closely reflect the roles

and boundaries set in the family. The family therapist should work to make therapeutic contact

with each member to draw everyone together. Participation of each member is encouraged to

broaden the focus away from the person the family has determined to be the problem. Educating

the family is important. Using the Basic Strategic Family Theory which is the assumption that

family is the most proximal and influential context for a child’s development (Szapocnik

&Coatsworth,1999). It is the primary force in shaping thinking, feeling, and behaviors. This

system is based on three principals: systems,(roles/responsibilities) structure(interactions that

characterize a family) and strategy(practical, problem-focused). During the initial interview and

throughout therapy this model is very important. In a professional setting I would be able to

implement this model into the initial interview by educating the family while receiving their

input and feedback. Being an instrumental leader for the family I could give them elements of

hope while joining and exploring the family’s views in a coalition.

Another impactful issue I learned during this class was working with gay and lesbian couples.

Most family therapy models do not reflect the realities and desires of many gay and lesbian

couples. Throughout the reading I learned how therapists can adapt family therapy models to suit

the needs of the LGBT community. One specific area many include sexual monogamy in gay

men. Although family therapist believe sexual monogamy and intimacy should be exclusive to

long term committed relationships. The reading has taught me that gay men are more likely to be

in unions that allow extradyadic sex. In a professional setting it is important to have this
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Tiffany Green
HS 2300
Prof. Diritsky

information because I’ll be better prepared for the couples. I’ll be able to focus on the

relationship issues and not focus on their monogamy or seeing that as being an issue.

On both personal and professional, learning more about the LGBT community and

understanding their roles in relationships was very impactful. I have close friends and even

relatives that are gay/lesbian. I now have a greater understanding of their relationships and how

they relate to family. I personally never quite understood why, beyond a parents not accepting

their lifestyle gay/lesbians were distant from family. Although families are expected to stay

connected and supportive during the maturation process, gay/lesbian families often have conflict.

Sexual orientation play a role in the intergenerational boundaries and differentiation process. As

a professional I would be able to educate couples on the importance of prioritizing their

relationship with their partner over their parents, especially if there are any disapproving parents.

This could help avoid problems in the relationship.

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Tiffany Green
HS 2300
Prof. Diritsky

Characteristics of the family system handbook 1

The initial interview: The Gordons and Braulio Montalvo handbook 1 handout 20

Old Maps, New Territory: Family theory and Gay and Lesbian Couples packet 3

Marriage and Family Therapists’ Comfort Level Working with Gay and Lesbian Individuals,

Couples and families.

Mary S. Green, Megan J. Murphy, Markie Blumer

Department of Human Development & Family Studies Iowa State University, Ames, Iowa, USA

Devon Palmanteer Non-Profit Agency, Hillsboro, Oregon, USA

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Tiffany Green
HS 2300
Prof. Diritsky