[OPINION] Divorce and the religious response

The realities that necessitate divorce include: violence, infidelity, and abandonment. Instead of providing comfort,
religion brings only oppression when often a romanticized image of the family is used against even the most
dysfunctional relationships.
The tide has shifted.
In a matter of years public opinion has changed in favor of legalizing divorce. In 2005 only 43% of adult Filipinos agreed
that separated couples should be allowed to divorce. At that time 45% disagreed. In 2017, those who agreed increased
to 53% while those who disagreed went down to 32%. SWS describes the net agreement of +21 as moderately strong.
Although 15% remain undecided there is no indication that public opinion will roll back. Since 2011 surveys have
consistently shown that there are more people who want divorce legalized in the Philippines.

Good thing or bad thing?

How the trend is interpreted depends on one's moral or religious worldviews.

For some people, that the Philippines does not have a divorce law is a badge of honor it shares with the Vatican. And it
must remain like this at all costs.
In their view it reflects our society's moral standing. We may not be as developed as other countries but this is our way
of resisting moral decay. Recently one bishop even proclaimed that "the destruction of families by divorce is indeed a
project of Satan, the enemy par excellence of God."
(For the record the Philippines has a very specific provision for divorce under the Code of Muslim Personal Laws.)
For others, however, divorce is very much needed in the Philippines. Legal separation and annulment are provisions that
are not only expensive and tedious. They also have their respective limitations.
Legal separation does not allow for remarriage while annulment places a lot of burden to show that the marriage that
took place was void to begin with.
With justification, divorce addresses the limitations of these provisions. It recognizes that marriage existed and that
divorced individuals can marry again.

Violence and betrayal

What is interesting is that even Filipino Catholics themselves agree with legalizing divorce. 54% of adult Catholics agree
as opposed to only 31% who disagree.

Clearly, these figures fly in the face of the Church's official teaching that marriage cannot be dissolved. What accounts
for the discrepancy?

Ordinary Filipino Catholics, in my view, do not entertain divorce just because they want to contradict their clergy.

They know that the Church values marriage. They do too. This is the reason getting married remains an ideal in
Philippine society. In 2015 more than 1,000 marriages were solemnized on a daily basis.
At the same time, our society treats the abiding family as a source of happiness and meaning. This will make it difficult
for divorce to become a quick legal remedy, as others might fear.
But ordinary Filipinos also know that not all marriages are made in heaven. Violence and betrayal are realities on the
ground.
For these individuals divorce is needed not because they want to destroy families or their children's future. They are
simply aware that not all conflicts can be resolved in the context of marriage.

Religious response
Today whenever divorce is brought up in church communities it is treated either as taboo or as moral depravity.
What exacerbates the problem is this: Too often a romanticized image of the family is used against even the most
dysfunctional relationships. Passages from the Bible are even carelessly invoked in the name of marital sanctity.
Asserting it in this way neglects completely the realities that necessitate divorce: violence, infidelity, and abandonment.
Instead of providing comfort, religion brings only oppression.
Hence for the religious to focus only on the divorce law is inadequate. Already the bigger issue is the reality of broken
families in our society.
How then can separation and its consequences be dealt with? How then can separated individuals be assisted? How
about their grieving children?
These are just some of the big questions at hand. Surely, religion, as an institution of hope, has something concrete to
offer.