OPTION D: ARE YOU READY?

Suppose your 21 year old child or best friend came to you and asked the question, "How do you

know if you are ready for marriage?" How would you respond? If it will help, you may

interview two other people and list their answers in your paper. As you consider the factors

predicting marital success, look at your own past relationships. What factors, such as

background, personality characteristics, and relationship characteristics, might have predicted the

quality of your relationship? Were any particular characteristics especially important for you?

Why?

The decision to get married is one of the biggest decisions you will ever make in your

life. You choose a person and make commitments to intertwine your lives. You take on their

problems as your own as well as their extended family as your own. It changes you from an

independent individual into an interdependent couple. Due to the gravity of this choice, I don’t

think it is one that should be taken lightly. In this frame of mind if I had a friend who was

twenty-one and about to make the choice if she could get married I would advise her to access

several aspects of her current relationship and also make the decision with much care and

thought.

I would first ask my friend about her communication patterns with her boyfriend. If she

relays stories about poor communication then I would advise her to think about how she would

feel in her marriage if these patterns continued. “Many couples who communicate poorly before

marriage are likely to continue in the same way after marriage, and the result can be disastrous

for future marital happiness” (Strong & Cohen, 2014, p. 237). If she says that her communication
with her boyfriend in the past has been positive, then I would be more encouraging about her

getting married. I would also ask her about their arguments and if they argue at all. I would show

her this advice about arguing, “As long as we value, care about, and live with others, we will

experience occasions when we disagree” (Strong & Cohen, 2014, p. 230). I would assure my

friend that it is normal for her to fight with her husband once they get married and that conflict

actually can signify a healthy relationship if it is handled well. I would also give her other advice

and ask her if she feels ready to give up her independence for marriage and ask her what her

reasons are for wanting to get married. If she has good reasons for wanting to get married and it

seems like both individuals are committed and love each other, then I would encourage her to get

married. Lastly though I would caution her about the studies about cohabitation, couples who

cohabitate are much more likely to split up. I would thus encourage her to marry her boyfriend

rather than simply live with him because they are much more likely to have a successful

relationship if they are married.

While the decision to get married is a big one, it is also a very exciting transition in life. I

would be very excited for my friend if she decides to get married. There is much anticipation and

joy when two people decide to make commitments to stay together and be together for the rest of

their lives. Marriage can be the most fulfilling relationship in your life if you treat it with care. I

look forward to the day when I get married, but I will not take that decision lightly.
 References

​ ason, Cengage.
Strong, B., & Cohen, T. F. (2014). ​The marriage and family experience. M