Santos, Benedict T. Prof. Carlo G.

de Pano

BA Speech Communication Speech 135

Journal Article Review

Are Secret Relationships Hot, Then Not?

Romantic Secrecy As A Function of Relationship Duration.
W. Keith Campbell, Craig Foster, and Joshua Foster

Campbell, Foster, and Foster sought to reconcile the two major theories on the influence
of romantic secrecy in the development or deterioration of relationships, namely the obsessive
preoccupation theory and the burden theory. Romantic secrecy was defined by the researchers as
the “…deliberate concealment of one’s ongoing romantic relationship from a person or persons
outside of the relationship.” Romantic secrecy can also exist when the parties acknowledge that
they are involved in a romantic relationship but conceal each others’ identities, or when they try
to obscure the emotional depth of the relationship. Romantic secrecy is prevalent among
workplace, same-sex, interracial, and extra-dyadic romances given their nature and how it is
considered inappropriate by the society.
The obsessive preoccupation theory (Dimitri, Lane, and Wegner, 1994) posits that
romantic secrecy enhances the feeling of passionate love between the couple as a result of the
cognitive processes involved in the maintenance of the relationship’s surreptitious nature. People
engaged in secret romances tend to suppress thoughts that could risk the relationship to being
exposed, which, in turn, paradoxically surfaces the same or related thoughts that would require to
be re-suppressed. This cycle of thought suppression and intrusion brings about “obsessive
preoccupation,” which amplifies positive feelings toward one’s partner. Passionate love has been
correlated with increased levels of thought intrusion about the romantic relationship.
Wegner, Lane, and Dimitri were able to bolster the theory by gathering support obtained from
several studies. The studies revealed that individuals were highly likely to think more frequently
about previous relationships that necessitated high levels of secrecy. In addition, strangers
reported greater mutual attraction after communicating with people via secret channels.
On the other hand, the burden theory (Foster and Campbell, 2005) proposes a contrasting
view on the influence of romantic secrecy on relationships. According to the theory, romantic
secrecy puts the relationship under strain and increases the level of dissatisfaction between the
couple, which ultimately threatens the dynamics of the relationship. Maintaining the secrecy of
the relationship is mentally, emotionally, and physically cumbersome, thereby lowering the
satisfaction gained from the relationship. Furthermore, social support that may be extended to the
couple is being disrupted. Social support according to the social network theory plays a vital role
in the success of the relationship. Foster and Campbell’s findings provided empirical support for
the theory by establishing the negative correlation between romantic secrecy and relationship
satisfaction. Moreover, the researchers predicted decreases in the quality of the relationship over
a two-week period.
In the authors’ attempt to bridge the gap between the contrasting propositions of the two
theories given above, they advanced that romantic secrecy enhances relationships during initial
stages of relationship development but impedes and undermines the relationship during the later
stages. Nascent romantic relationships are characterized by intense feelings of passionate love.
Passionate love encourages partner-related thought intrusion, which then facilitates obsessive
preoccupation, thereby increasing levels of romantic attraction. This demonstrates the capacity of
romantic secrecy to enhance budding relationships as this induces obsessive preoccupation
according to the obsessive preoccupation model. During the subsequent stages of romantic
relationships, the authors proposed that secrecy becomes even more burdensome as the
relationship is expected to be public. This shift is a central turning point disrupted and
compromised by the couple’s continuous attempt to keep the relationship a secret, hence the
stronger impact of the burden model on the later stages. In summary, these two secrecy models
coexist throughout a romantic relationship, with the obsessive preoccupation model influencing
early relationship development and the burden model exerting influence on subsequent stages of
relationship development. The researchers hypothesized that (1) romantic secrecy will have a
correlation with the positive relationship outcomes in newer romantic relationships but
associated with negative relationship outcomes in older, (2) that obsessive preoccupation would
mediate the early, positive influence of romantic secrecy on romantic relationships, and (3) that
relationship burden and relationship satisfaction would mediate the later, harmful influence of
romantic secrecy on romantic relationships.
564 (566 women; 98 men) responses were obtained using an online questionnaire. The
collated data were afterwards subjected to statistical analysis. Participants ranged from 18 to 55
years of age and averaged 24.6 years of age. The reported average relationship duration was 31.6
months. The instrument used contained 28 items on the reported relationship, 5 items about the
intentions underlying romantic secrecy, and 12 demographic questions. The 28 items on the
reported relationship provided the researchers primary means of hypothesis testing. These items
corresponded to variables used previously to examine the obsessive preoccupation and burden
theories of romantic secrecy, namely romantic secrecy, relationship burden, relationship
satisfaction, partner thought intrusion, partner thought suppression, perceived physical
attractiveness of the relationship partner, anticipated breakup distress, and love (Foster &
Campbell, 2005; Wegner et al., 1994).
The current study found that romantic secrecy correlated positively with the burden
model and negatively with relationship satisfaction. Findings were only partially consistent with
the obsessive preoccupation theory of romantic secrecy (Wegner et al., 1994). Romantic secrecy
was found to have a positive correlation with thought suppression as predicted by the obsessive
preoccupation theory, but correlated negatively and minimally with thought intrusion. Thought
intrusion did not correlate significantly with thought suppression, which hindered the researchers
from combining these variables into the more comprehensive construct of obsessive
preoccupation. This supports the proposition that romantic secrecy is generally deleterious to the
development of romantic relationships. And since the obsessive preoccupation theory is heavily
predicated on the correlation between thought suppression and thought intrusion, and the
relationship between the two was not established in this research, the researchers were thereby
precluded from validating how the obsessive preoccupation mediates the positive influence of
romantic secrecy in the early stages of the relationship. Lastly, it was found that the burden
model of romantic secrecy predicts that it disrupts romantic relationships primarily by increasing
relationship burden and decreasing relationship satisfaction across stages of the relationship
development.
The current research was able to expand the literature on romantic secrecy in two ways.
First, the study was able to thoroughly examine the influence of romantic secrecy on
relationships through the substantial data gathered. The researchers were able to sample a
sizeable number of respondents who were engaged in budding to mature relationships, which
allowed them to observe the phenomenon across the stages of the relationship. Second, the
research was able to address the problem of generalizability posed by a homogenous group
usually being sampled in previous studies on the subject. The study was able to survey a diverse
pool of respondents because of the instrument’s accessibility through the Internet.
Establishing and maintaining interpersonal relationships are central to a person’s
emotional, mental, and physical well-being. Members of marginalized sectors or even just
regular people who engage in romantic affairs, which are frowned upon by the society, are even
more prone to health risks associated with the stress brought about by their managing the
relationship given the external forces that impinge on the dynamics of the relationship. The
romanticization of romantic secrecy in the media and literature trivializes the gravity of the issue
to some extent. The expansion of the research to various contexts may shed light on the reality of
the issue and may yield beneficial findings that could aid in the designing of specific approaches
to romantic secrecy considering the many situational factors that surround a relationship. It is
difficult to generalize that an approach to manage and alleviate the burden caused by the secrecy
that worked on same-sex relationships will also work for extra-dyadic ones. A qualitative
approach to understanding the dynamics of romantic secrecy in various contexts may be useful in
corroborating the findings of this research as the motivations of the individuals involved may be
explored in depth.
The ultimate goal of studies of this nature should not stop at the description of the reality.
Solutions should be sought in order to address the issues posed by the findings of the research.
The identification of how the romantic secrecy models influence the relationship should serve as
a framework in further examining the complexities of the issue.

Campbell, W.K., Foster, C., and Foster, C. (2010). Are Secret Relationships Hot, Then Not?
Romantic Secrecy As A Function of Relationship Duration. The Journal of Social
Psychology. Retrieved September 10, 2015 from
http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/00224540903365547