1. “Any fool can write code that a computer can understand.

Good programmers write code

that humans can understand.” – Martin Fowler
2. “First, solve the problem. Then, write the code.” – John Johnson
3. “Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.” – Oscar Wilde
4. “ In order to be irreplaceable, one must always be different” – Coco Chanel
5. “Java is to JavaScript what car is to Carpet.” – Chris Heilmann
6. “Knowledge is power.” – Francis Bacon
7. “Sometimes it pays to stay in bed on Monday, rather than spending the rest of the
week debugging Monday’s code.” – Dan Salomon
8. “Perfection is achieved not when there is nothing more to add, but rather when there is
nothing more to take away.” – Antoine de Saint-Exupery
9. “Ruby is rubbish! PHP is phpantastic!” – Nikita Popov
10. “ Code is like humor. When you have to explain it, it’s bad.” – Cory House
11. “Fix the cause, not the symptom.” – Steve Maguire
12. “Optimism is an occupational hazard of programming: feedback is the treatment. “ Kent
Beck
13. “When to use iterative development? You should use iterative development only on projects
that you want to succeed.” – Martin Fowler
14. “Simplicity is the soul of efficiency.” – Austin Freeman
15. “Before software can be reusable it first has to be usable.” – Ralph Johnson
16. “Make it work, make it right, make it fast.” – Kent Beck

We build our computer (systems) the way we build our cities: over time,
without a plan, on top of ruins." - Ellen Ullman

Every great developer you know got there by solving problems they were
unqualified to solve until they actually did it." - Patrick McKenzie
One of the best programming skills you can have is knowing when to walk
away for awhile." - Oscar Godson
“ It's hard enough to find an error in your code when you're looking for it; it's even harder
when you've assumed your code is error-free. ” - Steve McConnell
“ If debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then programming
must be the process of putting them in. ” - Edsger Dijkstra
“ Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write
the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it. ” -
Brian Kernighan

“ Linux is only free if your time has no value. ” - Jamie Zawinski

“ There is not now, nor has there ever been, nor will there ever be, any programming
language in which it is the least bit difficult to write bad code. ” - Flon's Law
“ The first 90% of the code accounts for the first 90% of the development time. The
remaining 10% of the code accounts for the other 90% of the development time. ” - Tom Cargill
“ Any code of your own that you haven't looked at for six or more months might as well
have been written by someone else. ” - Eagleson's law
“ Computers are good at following instructions, but not at reading your mind. ” - Donald
Knuth

The best thing about a Boolean is even if you are wrong, you are only off by a bit.
(Anonymous)

If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that
came along wound destroy civilization. (Gerald Weinberg)

There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works. (Alan J. Perlis)

It’s not a bug – it’s an undocumented feature. (Anonymous)

One man’s crappy software is another man’s full time job. (Jessica Gaston)

A good programmer is someone who always looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.
(Doug Linder)

Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life. (Michael Sinz)

Deleted code is debugged code. (Jeff Sickel)

Software undergoes beta testing shortly before it’s released. Beta is Latin for “still doesn’t work.
(Anonymous)

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-
proof programs, and the universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe
is winning. (Rick Cook)

It’s a curious thing about our industry: not only do we not learn from our mistakes, we also don’t
learn from our successes. (Keith Braithwaite)

There are only two kinds of programming languages: those people always bitch about and those
nobody uses. (Bjarne Stroustrup)

In order to understand recursion, one must first understand recursion. (Anonymous)

The cheapest, fastest, and most reliable components are those that aren’t there. (Gordon Bell)
 The best performance improvement is the transition from the nonworking state to the working
state. (J. Osterhout)

1. “Code never lies, Comments sometimes do.”

2. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to read!
3. Blame doesn’t fix bugs

“I don’t care if it is the ‘proper’ way to do it, I just need to get it done.”

The trouble with programmers is that you can never tell what a programmer is doing until it’s too
late. (Seymour Cray)

Don’t worry if it doesn’t work right. If everything did, you’d be out of a job. (Mosher’s Law of
Software Engineering)

“Programming languages are all the same; you just need a logic.” – Joey O.

1. “VI has 2 modes. One that beeps at you, and another that ruins everything.”

to the hammer, every problem looks like a nail. Well, when your hammer is C++, every problem looks
like a thumb.

When the budget is low, go after the low hanging fruit.

1. “In a world without walls…..who needs Windows?”

“All software boils down to pure binary. It works or it doesn’t.”
“Spend two years writing a programe to allow someone do twice the work in half the time…their
spare time generatedv will be spent on the phone to IT support.”
1. “Last famous words: No need to manage this case, it will never happen!”
2. “Document What You Know When You Know It.”
“Good design resembles nature.” “I’m always skeptical of companies that don’t use their own products.”

1. It’s not a bug – it’s a feature

— A feature that cannot be turned off is a bug.

1. Given enough time, I can meet any software deadline.

1. “To err is human but to really foul things up you need a computer.” (The Economist)

1. The only way of writing less bugs is writing less code.

“Did you hear about that new branded MegaSuperComputer?

It returns from an infinite loop just on 6 seconds!”

In Pascal, God is real. Unless you declare it as integer!

(In Pascal, all varables starting a to m are real by default)

“Some people, when confronted with a problem, think

“I know, I’ll use regular expressions.” Now they have two problems.”

1. “Every program has at least one bug and can be shortened by at least one
instruction — from which, by induction, it is evident that every program
can be reduced to one instruction that does not work.” – Ken Arnold.
2. The one common language across all programmers is profanity.

1. “There are two ways of constructing a software design. One way is to make it so simple
that there are obviously no deficiencies. And the other way is to make it so complicated that
there are no obvious deficiencies.”- C.A.R. Hoare
2. My programs never have bugs, they just develop random features. (Radial Ronnie)
3. Documentation is like sex: when it’s good – it’s really good, and when it’s not so good –
it’s better than nothing.
4. Software is like cathedrals. First we build them, then we pray.
5. “There are 10 kinds of people – those who understand binary and those who don’t”
6. “Programmers always confuse Halloween with Christmas because OCT 31 = DEC 25”
“Saying that Java is nice because it works on all OSes is like saying that a**l s*x is nice because it works
on all genders.”

1. Coder: It’s working on My Machine!!

PM: We are not shipping your machine!!
Correctness is clearly the prime quality. If a system does not do what
it is supposed to do, then everything else about it matters little.

All programming is maintenance programming, because you are rarely

writing original code.     

Programming is breaking of one big impossible task into several very

small possible tasks.     

If we wish to count lines of code, we should not regard them as lines

produced but as lines spent.

The proper use of comments is to compensate for our failure to

express ourselves in code.     

In programming, as in everything else, to be in error is to be

reborn.     

Programming is an explanatory activity.

A language that doesn't have everything is actually easier to program

in than some that do.     

C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot. C++ makes it harder, but
when you do, it blows away your whole leg.     

A programming language is low level when its programs require

attention to the irrelevant.     

And don’t ever make the mistake that you can design something
better than what you get from ruthless massively parallel trial-and-
error with a feedback cycle. That’s giving your intelligence much too
much credit.     

Programming is similar to a game of golf. The point is not getting the

ball in the hole but how many strokes it takes.     
A C program is like a fast dance on a newly waxed dance floor by
people carrying razors.

Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied

mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure
mathematicians.     

In programming the hard part isn’t solving problems, but deciding what
problems to solve.     

You should imagine variables as tentacles, rather than boxes. They do

not contain values; they grasp them two variables can refer to the
same value.

It’s harder to read code than to write it.

Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring

aircraft building progress by weight.