WELLBEING • MINDFULNESS • CREATIVIT Y • ESCAPING

Breathe
and make time for yourself

Perfectly diferent Aspiring to the spiritual Permission to change Energy lines Fabled encounters
A love of the unpredictable Open book Enter the labyrinth Second chances The art of friendship
WELCOME Remember being a kid and having to get permission to stay up late
on a school night, play outside on a cold day or eat a second biscuit?
Remember, in fact, having to get permission for what seemed like,
well, everything?

That was then. Now, it’s a different matter. The only approval needed is
from the self. But if that’s the case, why do so many feel uncomfortable
deviating from the path that’s expected of them, even if it might be the
first step to breaking out of a situation that feels static or suffocating?

It’s often easier said than done, of course. Practical considerations can
preclude major change and many are quite happy as they are, thank you
very much. But for those who aren’t, or who deep down crave different
things or greater self-fulfilment, it can be helpful to recognise choices
are out there and changes can be made without external sign-off.

This isn’t about clearing a path to goals or ambitions. It’s more

fundamental than that. It’s about recognising the power within to say,
‘I give myself permission to believe I am worthy of happiness’, ‘I give
myself permission to be different’, ‘I give myself permission to change’.

Physicist Albert Einstein once said: ‘The world as we have created it is

a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our
thinking.’ The days when approval from others was a prerequisite for any
deviation from the norm have passed.

Want to stay up late on a work night? Do it. Fancy heading out for a long
walk on a freezing winter’s day? Go for it (what better excuse to wear all
those winter woollies). A second biscuit? Yes, please, plus a hot chocolate.
No external permission required. That was then. This is now.

COVER ARTIST
Xuan Loc Xuan was born in Vietnam and lives and works in Ho Chi Minh City in the south of
the country. A freelance illustrator for several years, she uses traditional and digital tools in
her designs, which tend to be minimalistic and employ colour to great effect.
CONTENTS
BREATHE ISSUE 26

WELLBEING LIVING
6 New year, no resolutions 30 Stranger connections
Setting goals isn’t for everyone A shared comment while waiting in a
queue or at a bus stop can be a reminder
10 From the hips that we’re in this world together
Let yoga release the physical
and emotional tightness from this 34 A love of the unpredictable
Breathe (ISSN 2397-9747) is published by integral part of the anatomy The appeal of the charity shop extends
GMC Publications Ltd, 86 High Street, beyond finding a boutique bargain
Lewes, East Sussex BN7 1XN
14 Perfectly diferent
Tel: +44 (0) 1273 477374
The wonders of embracing and 38 How do you say..?
For editorial enquiries, email: celebrating humanity in all its guises Language can offer a closer look into
hello@breathemagazine.com new worlds and different cultures
16 Hands up!
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Who gives their hardest-working 40 Salt of the Earth
breathemagazine.com/submissions extremities the care they deserve? It may seem like a humble seasoning,
but this mineral has a rich history
Design: Jo Chapman 20 Aspiring to the spiritual
Editorial: Catherine Kielthy.
Lauren Goodchild, Jane Roe, Josie Fletcher
From crystals to astrology, the non-faith 43 Another level of lavour
Marketing: Anne Guillot belief systems attracting a wider audience Chef Valerie Aikman-Smith uses
Production: Jim Bulley salt to transform everyday dishes
Publisher: Jonathan Grogan 24 Hear and now into tantalising treats
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Regular dental appointments are the
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2
MINDFULNESS
56 Permission to change
Stuck in a groove and want to break free?
Allow yourself to explore a fresh approach
58 Fabled encounters
How the words of Aesop have
helped to shape so many adult lives
62 Just the job
The value of understanding and
respecting differences in the workplace
66 Enter the labyrinth
Slow the mind and body with
this intuitive ancient art
70 Then and now
Unravelling the enduring
connection to the newborn self
72 Second chances
Mistakes are part of life, but how do
you know when to offer – or accept –
an opportunity to try again?
76 Smooth out the tension
Welcome to the hidden joys of ironing
facebook.com/justbreathemagazine • breathemagazine.com • instagram.com/justbreathemagazine
CREATIVITY
80 The art of friendship
When two creatives connect, sparks
often fly and lifelong bonds are formed
84 Happy days
Sitcoms provide a world of diversity
and opportunity – ready to have a go
at writing one of your own?
88 Open book
They have a checkered history, but
memoirs can shed light on a person or
moment in time while also speaking
to the power of shared experience
92 Muddied emotions
Meet the artist practising the Japanese
phenomeon of hikaru dorodango
ESCAPING
98 Chamber of secrets
They’ve captivated people down the
centuries and caves continue to shift
perspectives of time and space
104 Up close and personal
Getting hot and sweaty isn’t everyone’s
thing, but communal suanas go back a
long way – and the Finns swear by them
108 Sail into serenity
Eschew the jeep in favour of a wild
cruise on Zimbabwe’s Lake Kariba
110 Pack light
Leave responsibilities and routine behind
in favour of friendship and fun
114 Beyond wild
From underwater feats to aerial
adventures, the world’s photographers go
the extra mile to reveal the planet’s riches
120 How to be wordless
Becoming quiet in a noisy world
3
 WELLBEING

‘The possession of knowledge does not kill the sense of

wonder and mystery. There is always more mystery’
Anaïs Nin
6
New year, no resolutions
It’s all too easy to be swept along by the idea that the only way to make lasting changes is to
set distinct goals, especially at this time of year. But could the more mindful practice of setting
intentions be a more enriching – and achievable – path to success?
The fragile Christmas baubles have barely been wrapped in
tissue paper and stored, the remaining pine needles inally
hoovered away, when it begins. A swirl of ‘New Year, New You’
campaigns that seems to lood magazines, newspapers and the
internet, all selling the idea of how setting shiny new resolutions
– from weight-loss plans (‘this one really works’) and bagging
that dream job (‘just apply yourself more’) to inding love (‘hire a
relationship coach’) – is the only way to embrace the coming year.
However, as seductive as this plethora of life-makeover advice
might be, especially during the post-festive comedown, when
the sparkle and excitement has faded and you’re contemplating
(and possibly feeling overwhelmed by) the new year ahead, it
often comes with a side serving of serious pressure.
While setting goals can work for some, for others, it can
trigger an often emotionally painful cycle of disappointment
and failure. This is because the implied promise and reward of
many of these goal-orientated plans is happiness – tip the scales
at the perfect weight/promotion/inding ‘the one’, and pure bliss
awaits. All sadness will melt away. Except it often doesn’t.
In his New York Times bestseller, Atomic Habits: An Easy and
Proven Way to Build Good Habits and Break Bad Ones, James Clear
admits it’s a trap he’s fallen into many times himself: ‘For years,
happiness was always something for my future self to enjoy.
I promised myself that once I gained 20 pounds of muscle, or
after my business was featured in the New York Times, then
I could inally relax,’ he says. ‘The problem with a goals-irst
mentality is that you’re continually putting happiness of until
the next milestone. Furthermore, goals create an either-or
conlict: either you achieve your goal and are successful or you
fail and you are a disappointment. You mentally box yourself
into a narrow version of happiness, and this is misguided.’
James also observes that the unpredictable nature of life has
a way of derailing goals. ‘It’s unlikely your actual path through
life will match the exact journey you had in mind when you set
out,’ he explains. ‘It makes no sense to restrict your satisfaction
to one scenario when there are many paths to success.’
So, perhaps it’s time to consider another, softer, more
self-compassionate approach. A less ixed expectation of the
outcome, perhaps? A process that allows for the unexpected
vagaries of life, while you hold (gently) on to the reins, steering
lightly along the path of self-betterment? One possible answer
could be to set intentions – or personal preferences – rather
than choosing strict goals. The power of intention has been
discussed for centuries by thought-leaders, philosophers
and spiritual gurus alike, as the route to personal growth
and potential – in essence, an alternative, more mindful
way to reaching your goals. Chandresh Bhardwaj, a seventh-
generation spiritual teacher and founder of Break The Norms, a
movement concerned with awakening human awareness from
its conditioned self, compares setting an intention to drawing a
map of where you wish to go, saying that it becomes ‘the driving
force of your higher consciousness’.
Being kinder to yourself
By setting an intention – learning Spanish in time for the
summer holidays, or taking longer walks in preparation for a
hiking expedition, for example – there is an innate acceptance
of the potential obstacles that will inevitably crop up. It’s a more
lexible (and given life’s ever-changing nature), a more realistic
plan. It allows for every circumstance and encourages a diferent
mindset. One that is more self-accepting and less self-critical,
one that doesn’t perceive surrendering control as giving up.
This is something that Lori Deschene, founder of the website
tinybuddha.com, discovered for herself. She admits that her
‘controlling instinct’ was a way to avoid chance – ‘the realm
where things could go wrong because you didn’t steer, compel
or manipulate [things] to ensure that they went right’ – and by
being so ixated on her goals, she was propelled by the energy-
draining mantra ‘keep doing’.
However, Lori came to realise that by focusing on getting
past the hurdles, she was missing an important lesson: ‘I didn’t
leave much time for learning from those obstacles and allowing
those lessons to shape my desires, intentions and eforts,’ she
explains. ‘But every setback gives you an opportunity to improve
how you deal with challenges, and every delay gives you a chance
to revisit your intentions and ensure your choices are aligned.
And, through it all, you learn to focus on the present and grow
where you are right now, regardless of where you’re headed.’
Deepak Chopra, the renowned spiritual leader, echoes this
idea of choosing your own authentic path – rather than a
7

prescribed set of actions – to achieve your personal intentions.
‘You and I are essentially ininite choice-makers,’ he says. ‘In
every moment of our existence, we are in that ield of all
possibilities, where we have access to an ininity of choice.’
At its heart, the daily practice of honouring personal
intentions means learning to let go of the idea of perfection. It’s
about accepting that there will be good days and bad in terms
of aligning actions with the eventual outcome you are working
towards. And a wealth of studies on the detrimental efects
of perfectionism have concluded that striving for this often
unrealistic pinnacle of success can lead to increased anxiety and
depression. So a happy by-product of setting and then following
intentions is that it helps to look after your mental wellbeing.
There’s an interesting paradox that comes into play, too. It
might seem counterintuitive, but by adopting a mantra of
‘letting go’ (the direct opposite of ‘keep doing’), an intention
becomes more powerful. That’s because, in the face of setbacks,
resilience and patience grow – qualities that increase the chance
of success. Throwing of perfectionism’s tyrannical shackles also
brings a sense of freedom and space, which in turn can make
the experience fun and playful, rather than heavy and serious.
Leading meditation teacher and spiritual empowerment
coach Kelsey Patel is interested in the power that fuels personal
8
NEED HELP SETTING
INTENTIONS?
Here are a few options to try:
• Use positive, uplifting language. For getting it,
you might say something like: ‘By exercising, I’m
respecting and looking after my body,’ rather
than ‘I must go to the gym three times this week.’
• Take baby steps. If your intention is to learn
French, for example, it can be overwhelming at
irst if your vocabulary only extends to ‘bonjour’
and ‘merci’. Recognise it’s going to take time and
break it down into manageable stages.
• Reward yourself. This doesn’t have to mean
spending money, rather, doing something you
enjoy when you stay on track.
• Keep your mind on its toes. It thrives on intrigue
– so it’s important to keep changing the ways you
follow your intentions. Switch it up.
• Practise equanimity and non-attachment. Zen
Buddhists cultivate ‘Is that so?’ awareness, which
sees ‘failure’ and ‘success’ not as contradictions,
but as part of the same continuum.
intentions: ‘An intention is so powerful because it slowly shows
people how incredibly powerful they are. Often, people allow
the day, or the week, or the month to “happen” to them, and
when you set an intention, you are activating your receptivity
and manifesting; putting out that which you intend to attract
and call into your life. That is the power behind it.’
Staying faithful to the truth
It’s also important to be 100 per cent truthful about personal
intentions. This is when to listen to your intuition – if there’s
a tightening or twinge in your gut when thinking through
intentions, it could be a signal that something’s not right.
Trying to force something ruins the purpose of the intention,
and change rarely happens unless it’s something you truly
PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM
desire. Kelsey advises: ‘The idea is to irst check in with mind,
body, spirit, and really accept and access what it is that you are
seeking, not just blindly throwing things on the list.’
And, much like a seed, an intention must irst be
planted, then cultivated and nourished with love, care and
understanding of the entire process before it bears fruit, ripe
and ready for the tasting.
Words: Rachel Roberts
 From the hips
They’re vital for balance, stability and movement and can even store emotions,
so it pays to take good care of this integral part of our anatomy
The hips are a complex piece of the body’s anatomical jigsaw.
Responsible for a range of physical functions, from supporting
the weight of the upper body to retaining balance and
facilitating movement in the lower body, they play an important
part in enabling everything from steady strolls to steamy
salsas. Yet hip problems are common, with debilitating issues
such as arthritis, bursitis and tendonitis, as well as fractures –
often occurring as a result of osteoporosis – causing pain and
afecting quality of life for many. And while hip-replacement
surgery is mostly associated with those aged 60-plus, in the
UK alone, the number of people below that age having the
procedure has risen by more than 70 per cent in the last
decade. Maintaining happy hips is therefore crucial, given their
essential role in so many human functions, and considering
those statistics, seemingly more necessary than ever before.
An intricate structure, the hip is made up of bones, muscles,
ligaments and tendons, as well as deeper layers of tissues,
nerves and blood vessels. It comprises a ball-and-socket joint
that connects the ‘ball’ of the largest bone in the body, the
thigh bone, to the ‘socket’ of the pelvis, supported by the
other vital components. Swiss-based physiotherapist Monique
Sanders explains: ‘The bony contractions of the thigh and hip
joint are pulled together by ligaments that make sure it stays
10
in place, preventing dislocation…’ Explaining the place and
role of the hips, Monique continues: ‘They form the gateway
between the upper and lower body, with the muscular
structures attaching to the knee and back to make sure you’re
able to do lexion, extension, abduction, adduction, internal
rotation and external rotation moves.’ In other words, the hips
cover the full range of bodily motions, including moving the
legs backwards and forwards, side-stepping, and rotating and
bending the legs and upper body.
Hips don’t lie
Problematic hips can be caused by many situations. Sedentary
jobs are a major culprit because they involve sitting in one
position for hours on end with the hips ‘locked’ in place, leading
to a weakening of the supporting muscles. At the other end of
the spectrum, injuries and degenerative issues often occur
through overuse, a common issue for those taking part in sports
and physical activity such as running. In this instance, the hips
take a repetitive pounding, and without complementary exercise
it can result in lost strength and lexibility (sometimes in other
parts of the body), alignment problems and strains and tears.
Yet the hips hold the key to so much more, way beyond the
physical, being, as they are, part of a deeply sensitive area that
can ‘hold’ emotions. This is familiar in yogic circles, where
postures to help release stored emotions might be encouraged,
and are often accompanied by restorative sequences, breathing
techniques and meditation. The hips’ proximity to the delicate
organs and functions of the pelvic region means they also have
a direct impact on the digestive and urinary systems, as well
as the reproductive system, with the complex hormonal and
emotional manifestations that this presents.
Monique explains: ‘The hips are one of the ive so-called
emotion or stress-containers of the body. They absorb diferent
kinds of emotional stress. At the top of the hips is the sacral
chakra, located at the base of the spine, between the hips. This
moves the energy that is related to emotional development,
passion and the ability to have relationships and be comfortable
in uncomfortable situations. When this is out of balance, you
may experience diiculties with trust and intimate relationships.
Research has shown that the hips also relate to stress that
comes with change, which may cause trouble with decision-
making or letting go of people, situations or feelings.’ Delicate
indeed, so all the more reason to show your hips a lot of love.
Helen Noakes, a yoga teacher who also trains teachers
worldwide, speaks emphatically of the fundamental role
the hips play in overall health and wellbeing: ‘The hips can
express stifness and general discomfort where there might be
physical, mental and emotional imbalance – all interconnected,
of course.’ This mirrors her personal experience, which saw
gynaecological issues bring about physical constraints.
Emotional and physical balance
She found that giving her hip joints and pelvis space had a
major impact on her physical and emotional recovery. ‘I noticed
an immediate efect from softening and widening the space
around the pelvic region,’ she recalls, ‘and this had a profound
efect on me while I was recovering. For a whole year, I wasn’t
able to open my legs as wide as before when practising seated
poses, or sit cross-legged on the loor to the same degree I was
used to. This was a real testament to my body protecting itself.
I practised many mobilisation exercises, which helped to soften
the area, enabling me to emotionally accept the situation.’
Helen put her yoga expertise to great use during her recovery,
inding one posture, reclined butterly (pictured above),
particularly therapeutic on a physical and emotional level. But
you don’t need to be an expert to take care of your hips.
Turn the page for yoga postures that are beneficial for the hips,
including the reclined butterfly
11
 HOW YOGA CAN HELP
When practised in a conscious, mindful way that works within the safe limits of the body, yoga is a great way of helping to
keep the hips and their surrounding tissues healthy, through a combination of mobilisation, strengthening and elongation.

Here are two hip-loving yoga postures, followed by relaxation, to try at home. Move slowly and gently in each,
maintaining a rhythm of long, slow and deep breathing throughout.

Ashta Chandrasana (high lunge, pictured near right)

A great all-rounder that provides gentle elongation to the front

of the hips while strengthening the supporting muscles of the
hamstrings (back of the thigh) and the bottom’s glutes.

• Start in a standing position with the feet hip-width apart,

hands on hips.

• Take a step back with the right foot so that the feet are
around a metre apart, with both feet, the hips and the upper
body facing forward.

• Bend the left knee, lowering the upper body while ensuring
the knee does not extend beyond the ankle, and with the
right heel lifted of the ground.

• Gradually start to straighten the right leg by gently guiding

the right heel towards the ground.

• Visualise grounding down through the hips, but avoid

‘collapsing’ into the lower body – feel the right glute and
hamstring muscles becoming active and warm.

• Visualise a thread passing through the body and up through

the crown of the head, creating lightness in the upper body
– a gentle elongation from the waist up.

• Once you feel stable, slowly begin to raise the arms overhead
with the palms facing up towards the sky.

• Keep the shoulders relaxed and away from the ears.

• Remain in the posture for 10 breaths before reversing the

movement and repeating on the opposite side.

12
 Supine Baddha Konasana (reclined butterly,
pictured page 11)
A relaxing posture that gently creates space across the entire
pelvic area. It is particularly beneicial for digestive and
reproductive issues.
• Carefully lower down to lie on your back with the arms
alongside the body, palms facing up.
• Bring the soles of the feet together and draw the heels up
towards the groin.
• Gently allow the hips to open by slowly and steadily lowering
the knees outwards and down towards the ground.
• As part of a short practice, remain in the posture for 10
breaths, though for a more Yin Yoga experience stay for
two to three minutes.
Savasana (corpse pose)
This is the ultimate pose of rest and relaxation, allowing the time
and space for the body and mind to fully absorb the beneits of
any yoga practice.
• Lie on your back, arms alongside but slightly away from the
body, palms facing up.
• Allow the legs to stretch out, with feet hip-distance apart and
gently falling out to the sides.
• If needed, place a low support beneath the head. A rolled-up
blanket or cushion beneath the knees may also be helpful.
• As the body temperature can quickly drop, have a soft blanket
to hand, if needed.
• Relax.

Avoid pushing down on the knees – they don’t need to reach the
loor, just to the point where a gentle elongation is felt along the
inside of the thighs. Cushions or blankets can be placed beneath
the outside of the thighs, if more support is needed.

To find out more about Helen’s bodywork and yoga events, workshops and teacher trainings, visit helennoakes.net. For more information
ILLUSTRATIONS: SARA THIELKER

about physiotherapist Monique Sanders, go to focus-seeland.ch.

As with all forms of movement, take great care to move within the limits of your body and stop immediately if you experience any pain. Always
seek advice from a doctor or experienced physical therapist if you’re unsure as to whether yoga is suitable for you.

Words: Simone Scott

Simone Scott is a freelance writer and RYT500 yoga teacher. Follow her journey on Instagram and Facebook: @simsspace.

13
 Perfectly different
Many strive to hide or remove character traits deemed less than perfect, but is there another
way to look at them – one that embraces and celebrates humanity in all its guises?
From lifestyle coaches to online therapy, these days there are
increasingly more ways to help you to help yourself, to ix those
parts of your character that are deemed less than perfect. Advice
is just a click away, and it seems there’s no excuse for quirks of
personality to remain unchecked. Coping with life or getting
support to deal with past hurts is no longer enough. Now,
turning to therapists for self-improvement, to become a better
version of yourself, is the choice of today’s self-aware citizen.
Desire for change
Rebecca Lockwood, a neurolinguistic programming (NLP)
coach and author, knows this all too well. Over the past
few years, she’s noticed that her clients’ reasons for seeking
help have shifted, particularly when it comes to changing
themselves, in the desire for greater business success.
‘People used to want to feel more conident, so they could
do public speaking, for example,’ says Rebecca. ‘Now, it’s more
often the case that people are wanting to gain more conidence
to become more visible, which to them means in their personal
brand, in their business. They want to do more video and put
themselves out there on social media, without worrying about
what other people think of them.’
This move away from objective goal to personal goal marks
a shift in people’s desire for better personal branding, in both
their professional and personal lives, particularly when played
out through the lens of social media. Setting up that carefully
14
lit holiday shot, the happy family unit or the most exquisite
looking meal can also be seen as examples of personal branding.
While life through this lens often does look perfect, what
is it that drives you to deny the imperfections that make you
unique? Not the bad habits, the chronic lateness or talking over
people to get your voice heard loudest, but the real, human
elements of what makes you, you.
Take Sam, for example, a 38-year-old father of two, from
Hastings, East Sussex. Throughout his life, Sam has struggled
with traits of obsessive-compulsive disorder. When he was a
lot younger, they worried him, and even when he married he
kept them from his wife for as long as he could. They weren’t
extreme, but they were ritualised – a certain order that had
to be kept. During moments of stress, these traits would be
particularly compelling. Not a fan of enclosed spaces, Sam would
run through his own checklist in his head before stepping inside
a lift. Once inside and heading up or down, he would go back
through that checklist, reciting it silently, right up until the lift
doors slid back open, to his great relief.
Focus on the positive
For many, having these same traits wouldn’t be something to
talk about, and certainly not something to be celebrated. Some
would perhaps seek treatment for them. But for Sam, denying
this so-called law in his character would be to deny a major
part of himself. His attitude to this element of his personality
 has undergone significant changes over the years: ‘When I was
really young, I felt like I had a superpower,’ he says. ‘I could
make things happen by thinking about them hard enough or
following a sequence in my thoughts. When I got a bit older and
learned more about OCD, I became ashamed and worried about
what people would think of me.
‘I think now that I’m more experienced and more secure in
myself, this element of my personality is, again, more like a
superpower. It helps me. It gives me order and it helps me to
focus. For example, in the morning I get ready for work in a
very specific order and at the same time every day. If I didn’t do
it that way, I’d forget something, especially in the hustle and
bustle of my house in the morning. I embrace my OCD traits
and I let them work for me, not against me.’
Another point of view
Other so-called imperfections can be viewed though a fresh
pair of eyes. Even therapists sometimes need to learn this lesson
about themselves. Rebecca remembers the moment that she
realised her imperfections were not necessarily a ‘bad’ thing,
and could be a force for good in her professional life.
‘I do so much work on myself, to not judge myself or my
imperfections,’ she says. ‘My book, Step into your Personal
Potential, is all about checking in with yourself and loving
yourself whole. One of the things that I used to believe was an
imperfection of mine is that I love to do a lot of things – I am
very creative and I quickly do projects and then move on. It was
ILLUSTRATION: AGNESE BICOCCHI
when I released this particular book that I realised how much
of an asset it is. When I had the idea, I was eating dinner at my
kitchen table with my mum and two children. As soon as I’d
eaten, I ran upstairs and started working. I worked solidly on
the book for two weeks, released it within a month and became
a bestselling author for the second time.’
It’s worth looking at where notions of imperfection come from
and how differences in personality can end up carrying such
negative values. Perhaps, for some people, the idea that there
are undesirable aspects of their personality is a concept that’s
been driven home since childhood, or it might stem from a non-
supportive romantic partner or, like Sam, from having a brain
that works differently from what’s considered normal.
Find self-acceptance
Rebecca believes that, for many people, it comes from a lack of
self-acceptance and an inability to fully appreciate yourself for
who you are, warts and all. Learning to do this and embracing
your imperfections marks the beginning of being able to move
forward with your life.
‘We can get so caught up in wanting to be a certain way
and have certain things,’ she says. ‘It’s more important to love
yourself fully, as you are. The aim isn’t to change you – it’s to
not care about the imperfections in the first place, not give
them a negative meaning or attach judgment towards yourself
for feeling as though there’s imperfection there.’
If it’s possible to find a sense of neutrality towards your
imperfections then that’s surely a starting point towards a fuller
acceptance of who you are. What’s clear from both Sam and
Rebecca’s stories is that character quirks and off-beat attributes
can be a force for good. While others may press you to change
or, worse, attempt to reduce you, the pressure to do away with
those allegedly less-than-perfect features often comes directly
from within – from you.
In a world where the presentation and idea of perfect often
comes at the expense of reality, maybe it’s time to embrace
the messiness, the fun and, yes, the frustrations that come
from being a whole person. A person with talents, desires
and ambitions, and with imperfections that are complicated,
brilliant and uniquely you.
Words: Caroline Pattenden
15
 Hands up!
Who gives their hardest-working extremities the care they deserve?
Hands are in almost constant use, engaged in untold daily
tasks. From making the bed in the morning to preparing dinner
in the evening, they’re hard-working and largely uncomplaining.
But apart from the occasional dab of hand lotion, how many of
us give them the attention they deserve and need?
When you think about it, hands are remarkable for their
strength and dexterity. It’s been estimated that a quarter of
the brain’s motor cortex is devoted to hand-muscle function,
enabling them to coordinate and perform complicated and
meticulous tasks. Despite being such formidable tools, however,
hands are more susceptible to the efects of environment, strain,
knocks, cuts and bruises than most other parts of the body.
Consider how many times a day they are immersed in water,
exposed to heat, cold or sunlight, or afected by chemicals
or abrasives. How often do you carry heavy loads, perform
repetitive tasks or use your hands, ingers and nails with force
to tackle tricky jobs?
Handle with care
Despite appearing robust, the skin on the top of the hands
tends to be thin and has few moisture-regulating sebaceous
glands, which means it can become dry, irritated, chapped and
leathery. Over time, the muscles, ligaments and joints in the
hands reveal the impact of everyday use, and they are one
of the irst parts of the body to show signs of ageing.
To keep hands healthy and in reasonable shape, it’s worth
taking time to include them in your daily self-care routine.
This isn’t about gels, varnishes or tips, it’s about protecting your
hands – sparing then from unnecessary environmental damage,
overuse and neglect – so that they stay nimble and in good
16
shape for longer. It’s partly about moisturiser and a nail ile,
but it’s also about not putting your hands under more stress
than is necessary (see panel, right).
Benefits of exercise
Lynn Houghton, a clinical specialist in hand therapy who works
across the NHS and private sector, explains that, with ageing,
hands become drier, tendons might not glide as smoothly, and
wear and tear can cause joint deterioration: ‘The joint at the
base of our thumb allows lexibility to pinch and grasp. Normal
use of the hand puts large forces through this joint, particularly
pinching activities, and some 22 per cent of people aged 50 and
above develop basal thumb osteoarthritis. These deteriorative
changes can cause pain, swelling and a reduced range of
movement. Everyday activities, such as writing, unscrewing
jars and opening cans, might aggravate symptoms.’
Taking extra care of your hands and exercising them will
help to maintain muscle tone and hand mobility. ‘Exercise
has many beneits. It can help ease stifness, improve movement
and strengthen muscles,’ Lynn explains. ‘Tendon glides, or
other speciic hand exercises, may be prescribed by a hand
therapist, while customised splints can provide support and
positioning. You can also give yourself a helping hand by using
gadgets that do some of the work for you. Aids such as spring-
loaded scissors, electric jar openers, key turners, padded handles
with thicker grips, and pen grips distribute pressure and reduce
stress on individual joints. Also, switching and changing tasks,
and pacing yourself helps to avoid hand fatigue.’
Turn the page for more advice on keeping your hands in good shape
PROTECTION FIRST
Don’t wash too often
Appropriate handwashing (before and after contact with food, after using the toilet,
visiting clinical settings) is a good defence against bacteria and viruses. But washing
too frequently can strip skin of vital natural oils and cause dryness or irritation. Choose
a natural, gentle hand soap.

Wear gloves
A cosy pair of gloves will keep your hands warm on winter days. It’s also a good idea
to wear suitable environmentally-friendly gloves for domestic, gardening or work-
based duties, especially if you’re frequently immersing your hands in water, using harsh
detergents or doing work that’s tough on your skin. Choose washing-up and gardening
gloves that are kinder to you and the planet. Look out for household gloves that are
compostable and made from FSC-certiied natural rubber sourced from a responsibly
managed plantation.

Moisturise and massage

Choose a good-quality, organic hand cream that hydrates, softens and protects, and
use it at least twice a day.

Exercise
Take a few moments to gently exercise your hands, which will improve circulation
and mobility. For example:
• Make a light ist with each hand and release, expanding the ingers.
• On each hand, bend each inger in turn towards the palm. Hold for a few
seconds and release.
• Lay palms lat on a table, and raise each inger one at a time.
Repeat each exercise several times.

Rest
If you do repetitive tasks that exert pressure on hands and wrists, remember to take
regular short breaks throughout the day. This helps to avoid repetitive strain injuries.

Special treatment
You may have heard of relexology for the feet, but did you know you can also beneit
from relexology on your hands? This ancient healing practice targets speciic areas of
the body, by applying pressure to certain points, and is relaxing and therapeutic. If you
have any concerns about your hands, however, consult a qualiied specialist irst.

17
 ATTRACTIVE, HEALTHY NAILS

• Nails can harbour germs, so keep them clean. Use a nail brush to remove dirt then
dip your ingertips into a bowl of warm water, containing two tablespoons of apple
cider vinegar or two drops of lemon oil, for a deeper clean.

• Trim your nails after a bath or hand soak as they’ll be easier to cut. Use an emery
board to shape and slightly round the nails at the corners.

• Although wearing artiicial nails, varnish or nail art can bring a touch of elegance
and style to your hands, going natural whenever possible lets nails breathe and
avoids discolouration or damage. But there’s another good reason – nail condition
is an efective indicator of general health. For example, nails that are brittle or
show white spots, ridges or discolouration might suggest a dietary imbalance,
allergy or possible health issues. Keeping nails natural means you can see and
check anything unusual.

• Do you wear false nails to hide bitten ones? If you’re a nail-biter, try to focus on
breaking the habit. On average, ingernails can grow up to four inches per year,
so visualise your nails growing strong, healthy and beautiful.

• Once a month, give your nails and cuticles a conditioning soak (see recipe, right).
And when you moisturise your hands, remember to massage the lotion into the
nails, too.

• Many people take care of their own nails, trimming and iling them when needed,
but consider treating yourself to a professional manicure once in a while, to give
your nails special attention.

18
 NATURAL TREATS

Hand-care scrub Nail-conditioning soak Hand mask

Ingredients:
• 1 tbsp coconut oil
• 3 drops frankincense oil
• 2 drops lemon juice
• 1 tsp sea salt
Combine the ingredients in a small
bowl and rub the scrub over the backs
and palms of the hands. Pay attention
to wrists, ingers and thumbs. Rinse
and dry gently and thoroughly before
moisturising. Exfoliating every few
weeks with a natural hand-care scrub
will help to remove dead skin and
improve circulation. This scrub is gentle,
but efective, and your hands will feel
softer afterwards.
ILLUSTRATIONS: NICOLA YOUD
Ingredients:
• 4 tbsp olive oil
• 5 drops lemon oil
• 3 drops lavender oil
• 2 drops rosemary oil
Combine the ingredients. Buf and then
soak the ingernails in the mixture for
about 10 minutes. Rinse and pat dry
before moisturising. This will help to
maintain clean, healthy nails and ease
torn or dry cuticles. It can also help to
ward of fungal or bacterial infection.
Ingredients:
• 3 tbsp ine rolled oats
• 2 tbsp rose water
• 2 tbsp baking soda
• 2 tsp almond oil
Mix all the ingredients and heat gently
until just warm (be careful not to let
the mixture overheat or boil). Apply
the warm mask to your hands and then
wrap them up in a clean towel. Leave
until the mask is cool and gently rinse
away the mixture. Pat dry and apply
hand lotion.

If you have concerns about your hands, particularly if it’s about their mobility, contact a qualified hand therapist. You can do this
through your GP or by self-referral. To find out more about Lynn’s work, visit houghtonhandtherapy.co.uk.

Words: Carol Anne Strange

19
 Aspiring to the spiritual
Crystals, yoga, meditation, chakras, Moon phases, astrology, tarot, Druidry… they’re all increasingly
popular. What is it that’s making these belief systems so attractive to people right now?
These days, it’s diicult to open a newspaper supplement
or scroll down a social-media platform without inding an
element of the ethereal, be it rose quartz accompanying a
skincare edit, or a tattoo of an alchemical symbol.
This doesn’t, however, stop many people from writing of
the intangible. You only need to start typing ‘are crystals a…’
before search engines suggest ‘load of rubbish’. But, with search
volume into such beliefs reportedly doubling in the past ive
years, it seems that many people are at least curious. In fact,
studies show that there’s a growing community who have found
spiritual belief systems to complement 21st-century life.
But what’s behind the apparent rise?
Above all, it’s not illegal, says moonologer and astrologist
Yasmin Boland: ‘People are no longer judged for being on the
spiritual path, nor are they burned alive at the stake in the village
square.’ This might seem obvious, but although the laws against
witchcraft were repealed in 1736, ines or imprisonment could
still be imposed on people who claimed to be able to use magical
powers until as recently as 1951. ‘We have to remember the
roots of many of these practices,’ says Giselle La Pompe-Moore,
a modern mystic, spiritual teacher and founder of Project Ajna,
an alternative and holistic health service. ‘Those who engaged
in the esoteric or anything outside of the norm were often
persecuted, bullied and reprimanded for having those beliefs.’
Many in the spiritual sphere also attribute the upsurge in
popularity to the current state of the world. ‘I see a correlation
between general instability about the future and people leaning
into these practices,’ says Jordan Ashley, a yoga teacher and
founder of non-proit foundation Souljourn Yoga. ‘With so much
violence, uncertainty, hatred, oppression and fear, there’s a
natural gravitation toward things that provide support, especially
those that make you feel in control of your own body and mind.’
Though research is lacking, both feelings of insecurity and
the number of people turning to alternative modalities are on
the up, according to studies, suggesting that there could be
something in Jordan’s theory. Giselle agrees: ‘Understandably,
these issues give rise to anxiety and a feeling of hopelessness
20
around how an individual can be an agent of change for such
large problems. As a result of both the increase in stress and
the times we live in, we’re all craving a sense of comfort,
community and having more autonomy over our own lives and
wellbeing that these reassuringly ancient practices can provide.’
Astrologist Francesca Oddie describes it as ‘a symptom of a
society that is entirely liberated, but anxious’. Others, however,
such as Max Blumberg, a research psychologist at Goldsmiths,
University of London, with a background in anomalistic beliefs,
question the veracity of the data, citing a lack of any real
statistics from the past, a growing population and easier ways
of quantifying igures: ‘It used to happen in the pub, now it’s
happening on social media,’ he says.
Despite his doubts, he says there are reasons why people –
millennials, in particular – might be turning to spirituality:
‘In a world where we feel less and less in control of our future
and what’s happening to us, it’s a form of escapism and getting
some power back. When humans don’t feel they can ind an
orthodox or mainstream solution to what’s going, through the
conventional channels, they look for other options.’
Max likens the spiritual insurgence to the counter-culture
rebellion ‘against the man’ in the 1960s. Spiritualist and author
Theresa Cheung agrees: ‘Alternative spiritual practices are a
symbolic form of revolt against traditional religion and the
political, economic and social injustices in the world today,’
she says. Only this time, the age of technology, dubbed the
information age, is at the root.
‘The ease with which we generate and share content on the
internet has enabled previously ostracised people to come
together, and for a movement to begin,’ claims Francesca.
Technology has brought these age-old practices to the masses.
In the past, you’d have to venture out of the institutional norm
to get your natal chart, for example, now all it takes is your time
of birth and the tap of a thumb to download an app. Want a
potion to harness the energy of the New Moon? Just Google it.
‘The fear of these practices usually stems from the fact they’re
often shrouded in secrecy,’ says Giselle. ‘Instagram creates a
21
 space to share what they look like – you can explain what tarot
cards are, but a picture of them makes them more accessible.’
It seems accepted that social media has played a part in the
process – as both a cause of and a cure for modern stresses,
and a connector of like-minded individuals. ‘It’s a two-fold
response,’ says Francesca. ‘It enables us to communicate
and learn from each other, but leaves us feeling strangely
disconnected and in need of grounding.’
This feeling of societal solitude is sometimes linked to the
decline of the traditional church in Western society. Whether
it was faith itself or the sense of safety and community that
provided connection, it seems that a chasm has opened and
some have filled it with less mainstream spiritual practices.
In short, ‘prayer has had a rebrand’, comments Francesca.
Younger generations are also making a difference. ‘Traditional
religion tends to be patriarchal, and the younger generations
can’t relate to that,’ says spiritualist and author Theresa. ‘It’s
failed to capture their minds and hearts. Alternative spiritual
practices are more relatable, especially in the social-media age.’
With perceptions around gender and sexuality also shifting,
it’s relevant that ‘spiritual practices are fluid, with fairly low
commitment required, which has a lot of appeal for those who
can’t find their place within the structure of an organised
religion’, says Giselle. ‘It can feel hard for many people to engage
with groups that have non-supportive or damaging attitudes
towards both women and the LGBTQ community.’
As an explanation of the transference, Max observes: ‘They’re
not that dissimilar. Both are looking for something outside
oneself to gain control of what’s going on. The difference is,
with religion, it’s the person in the pulpit telling you exactly
what you must do.’
The wellbeing industry is also thought to have had an impact.
‘[It’s] taken what was traditionally considered to be dusty and
crusty and created modern sanctuaries for like-minded people
to congregate,’ says Francesca. ‘It’s broken down barriers and
changed the way people think about the mind, body and spirit.’
Giselle has a similar take: ‘The wellbeing boom acknowledges
that we need a holistic approach to taking care of ourselves,
22
one that focuses not only on our physical body, but also on our
mental, emotional and spiritual bodies. All of these practices
encourage us to educate ourselves on how true wellbeing
happens when we view ourselves in this interconnected way.’
But could the growing popularity of non-mainstream
spirituality owe as much to its position in the media spotlight
as to genuine interest in different approaches to health and
wellbeing? Crystal healer Emma Lucy rebuffs the idea of these
mediums being classed as trends. ‘These are practices and
beliefs that span the ages,’ she says. ‘They’ve always played an
important part in communities and people’s lives. Nonetheless,
the movement has been a loudhailer for the positive benefits,
reaching whole new waves of people.’
There could also be a link to people investing time in their
physical and mental health. ‘People try out yoga and meditation
after work to de-stress and, as they develop their practices,
spirituality creeps in alongside their newfound peace. Before
they know it, they’re chanting in Sanskrit,’ says Francesca.
When it comes to the comforting element of these practices,
opinion is divided about labelling them as ‘coping mechanisms’.
Some, like moonologer and astrologist Yasmin, find it insulting
to the practitioner: ‘The idea comes from the cynical view that
the people who walk this path are somehow weak and in need
of a crutch.’ And others find it disparaging to the practice itself,
suggesting that it underestimates their ancient wisdom.
Theresa has another view: ‘They’re most certainly coping
mechanisms. When life feels out of control due to the rise
of technology, social media and other modern stresses, they
show that security comes from within and isn’t dependent on
unpredictable external factors.’
It could be said that they’re two sides of the same comforting
ILLUSTRATIONS: MICHELLE URRA
coin. Practitioners’ beliefs help them cope with and understand
the world, as religion has done in the past. Is there a uniting
factor? Yoga teacher Jordan suggests: ‘You can be everything
and nothing, with no judgment in trying out a whole spectrum
of belief systems and rituals, finding what works for you.’
Words: Rebecca Gillam
NEVER MISS AN ISSUE
WELLBEING • MINDFULNESS • CREATIVIT Y • ESCAPING

Breathe
and make time for yourself

Perfectly diferent Aspiring to the spiritual Permission to change Energy lines Fabled encounters
A love of the unpredictable Open book Enter the labyrinth Second chances The art of friendship

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24
Hear and now
Regular appointments with the dentist and optician are the norm, but how often
do you get your hearing checked? Few people do until there’s an audible issue
Ears – how much do you value yours? In the league table of
body parts, these appendages don’t always receive the closest
care and attention. And yet they play an important part in our
wellbeing. Just think of the pleasure of listening to music or the
radio, being able to hear friends and family – not to mention
how important the ears are to our sense of balance, spatial
awareness and in connecting us to our surroundings.
I had a lesson in the importance of ears recently when
I experienced severe problems with my own. It began with
a pressurised sensation in one ear, which I tried to shift by
joggling my earlobe, an efort that produced squelching noises
deep inside my head. Poking inside my ear with a cotton bud
would be stupid, I knew (although I was tempted).
Unfortunately, it wasn’t long before both my ears were
blocked and my hearing was so bad that I had to ask people
to repeat everything they said. Then I started to hear ringing
and hissing inside my ears – and internal ear noise is no joke.
When unexplainable noise is loud, constant and close, and sleep
and concentration destroyed, you feel driven to distraction. I
suspected tinnitus and feared this would be my lot from now on.
With these types of symptoms, your GP is usually the irst
stop. But for various reasons, I found myself at a London oice
of Hearology, a irm of audiologists and ear, nose and throat
(ENT) specialists. An audiologist diagnosed an ear infection
and wax as the cause of my problems, and cleaned my ears
with a technique called microsuction. The improvement was
immediate, and after a follow-up appointment, a session with
the company’s ENT specialist, more cleaning, and antibiotic
eardrops, my hearing returned to normal.
The experience left me with a renewed appreciation of the
value of hearing and I decided to talk to Hearology’s chief
audiologist, Vincent Howard, about how best to look after it in
the future. Vincent was 15 when he had his own lesson in the
importance of audio care. He’d gone to see Motörhead – once
dubbed the loudest band on Earth – and was standing right
next to the speakers when a head-splitting noise blasted out.
25

‘I sufered acoustic shock, which really hurt my left ear,’ he
says. ‘When I left the concert, I could tell that people were
talking very loudly around me, but I could hardly hear them.
All I could hear was a ringing tone.’
The ringing was later diagnosed as tinnitus – a doctor told
him that the damage was permanent and he’d ‘just have to live
with it’. ‘The noise shock had eroded the tiny hair cells in the
cochlea, which pick up frequencies in the ear,’ Vincent explains.
‘You can’t repair sensory hearing loss, it’s irreversible.’ It was
devastating news for Vincent, but it set him on a path to learn
all he could on the subject, and to study audiology.
Having become an audiologist and with experience in the
NHS and private sector, Vincent co-founded Hearology four
years ago. He wants to encourage everyone to prioritise taking
care of their ears. ‘Eye care has gone through an evolution in
terms of surgical procedures. Teeth are prioritised from a young
age – think of how many dental check-ups you’ve had in your
life. But how many hearing tests have you had? Maybe it’s
in single igures, or even none.’
He recommends having regular hearing check-ups and
tests, ‘so that you know what your good threshold is’.
Thankfully, there’s much we can do to protect our ears
and hearing. Ear-wax removal is a common procedure in
ear clinics. The wax itself, which is composed of skin cells,
dust and oil secretions from the sebaceous and ceruminous
glands, is normal. It lubricates the ear canal and helps
26
CATCH IT EARLY
It’s time to see an ear-care specialist if you
experience any of the following:
• Reduced hearing.
• Itchy ear(s).
• Recurrent dizziness/feeling of-balance.
• Constant ringing, buzzing, hissing, clicking or
roaring sound in your ear(s). This may be a build-
up of wax, but it could also be a condition called
tinnitus, in which case a specialist will be able
to suggest individual and appropriate treatment
(see tinnitus.org.uk for more details and support
information).
• Sticky ear(s).
• Pain or an inability to release the pressure in your
ear(s) while on a light or scuba diving.
• A blocked-up sensation.
• Discharge form your ear(s).
• A sensation of your ear(s) being full or swollen.
• Prolonged pain in your ear(s).
deter bacteria, regulates pH, traps dirt and dust and repels
insects and water. It also protects the eardrum. In most people,
the ear self-cleans as we chew or talk, causing the skin in the
ear canal to migrate outwards, moving any wax with it.
But around 15 per cent of people have excessive wax build-
up for reasons that include narrow ear canals, more active
ceruminous glands or working in dusty, dirty places. Some
also have a pH imbalance in the ear, which can be caused by
shampoo that enters the ear and dries out the skin lining,
causing wax to build up.
Syringing and irrigation, using water, is a common practice
for wax removal at GP surgeries. Vincent, however, prefers a
technique called microsuction, which is a ‘dry’ procedure that
he insists is both gentle and directable. ‘Skilled microsuction
practitioners can even remove wax that is attached to the ear
drum and do so without causing any discomfort,’ he says. This
is done with a tiny hoover-like instrument, which has a surgical
microscope that allows the audiologist to see inside the ear,
including the upper part, known as the ‘attic’.
He also advises clients not to self-diagnose a wax build-up,
or use olive oil or eardrops, before seeing a specialist, in case it
exacerbates the problem.
There’s also surfer’s (or swimmer’s) ear, where prolonged
exposure to cold water or wind causes the bone of the ear
canal to develop multiple bony growths, called exostoses. Over
time, these can cause a partial or complete blockage, requiring
medical attention. But shouldn’t it be okay to get our ears wet?

‘The ears are external, so it should be okay,’ says Vincent. ‘The
problem is when the ears never dry out.’ For some people, water
doesn’t drain easily after showering or swimming. In this case,
he recommends custom-made ear covers or swim plugs.
Hearing protection, such as earplugs, can help prevent
tinnitus and hearing loss caused by exposure to excessive noise
levels. Again, such protection works best if it’s custom-made.
For anyone who’s been in a noisy environment, it’s sensible
to spend time in a quiet zone to ‘recover’. Known as noise
dieting, it’s especially useful for musicians, nightclub workers,
construction staff and even people who work in a crèche.
Hearology works with musicians, schools and colleges to
improve awareness of how the ear works and to help people
recognise what is an acceptable noise level and what is loud and
dangerous. However, for some, a stigma persists about wearing
hearing protection. ‘We meet musicians who don’t want to be
seen wearing anything in their ears, in case colleagues view it as
a disability,’ explains Vincent, ‘and they hide hearing loss in case
it jeopardises their playing professionally.’
ILLUSTRATIONS: NADIA SGARAMELLA
Treasuring my hearing and looking after my ears is now a
firm part of my self-care practice. And there’s lots we can
all do (see panel, right) to keep them in good shape and
prevent problems…
Words: Beverley D’Silva
To ind out more about Vincent’s work,
visit hearology.uk.
EARS FIRST
Do:
• Have a hearing test to discover what your good
threshold is.
• Get your ears checked regularly by a doctor or
clinical specialist.
• Wear hearing protection if you work in, or visit,
a noisy environment. Whether it’s a crèche,
hairdresser’s, nightclub, sports stadium or music
festival, protect your ears.
• Keep ears dry. Their reaction to water can be to
secrete more wax to repel it. If water gets stuck
in the ears, it can cause an infection.
• Avoid getting shampoo or soap in the ears as this
can alter their pH and wash away oils.
• Understand what’s loud – what are
safe exposure levels?
• Keep earplugs and hearing aids clean.
Don’t:
• Use drops or olive oil without medical advice.
• Use ear candles at home.
• Poke anything into your ear – cotton buds, a inger,
car keys, anything. Ear canals have two bends and
are very narrow, so whatever’s in there will only be
pushed in further.
• Put water into your ear. It will cause more wax to
be secreted and, if water gets stuck behind wax,
it could cause temporary hearing loss and create
a breeding ground for infection.
• Ramp up the volume to block out all external
sounds if wearing headphones to listen to music.
27
 LIVING

‘When I stand before thee at the day’s end, thou shalt see my scars
and know that I had my wounds and also my healing’
Rabindranath Tagore
 Stranger connections
There’s an understandable reluctance to strike up conversations with people we don’t know, but
smiling, saying hello and even sharing a quip about the lateness of the bus or the length of the
queue at the post oice, is a reminder that we’re not alone in this world and we’re all human
From a very young age, children are told not to talk to people
they don’t know. It’s often impressed upon them that it’s not
wise and could be dangerous. The advice stems from the
knowledge that they haven’t yet had the time or experience
necessary to make fully informed judgments, which leaves
them vulnerable to those who would do them harm.
Consider, however, a child’s natural openness and enthusiasm
for others. It enables them to strike up a conversation with
another child at the sandpit, or to come home from a holiday
with a new best friend who they’re likely never to see again. It’s
a beautiful characteristic. Yet it’s this guilelessness that sparks
the adult’s cautionary ‘Don’t talk to strangers’.
To what extent, though, should this mode of thinking continue
as children pass through adolescence and into adulthood? As
instincts become more reined, people can more or less trust
themselves to swerve or extricate themselves from potentially
tricky encounters. Why is it, then, that many adults increasingly
lose the ability to engage with people they don’t know? All that
standing awkwardly in elevators, staring determinedly at the
doors or loor, quickly plugging in headphones on a plane
to avoid interacting with a fellow passenger, pulling out a
smartphone, laptop or book on the train… The list goes on.
Where did that child in the sandpit go? Why do so many people
in Western society feel uncomfortable about striking up a
conversation or making eye contact with a stranger?
Interestingly, it’s thanks to those smartphones that humans
are more connected today than they’ve ever been. Yet it’s
precisely this that gives everyone a ready-made escape from
30
engagement. People sit on a train, for example, liking and
commenting on the lives of others whom they barely know or
rarely see, while missing the opportunity to smile at the person
opposite them. Or they jump into the back of a taxi, mumble
a destination to the driver, and then scroll through emails,
only looking up to say ‘thank you’ at the end of the ride.
Should it matter? As some people might say, life is busy.
It’s diicult enough to ind the time for loved ones. Why
would anyone spend time on people they don’t even know?
What could possibly be in it for them?
Power of connection
One of the irst things to recognise is that human beings thrive
on connection. Indeed, this is probably partly why social media
has proliferated so rapidly in recent years. It feeds a real need
for connection, for recognition, for validation, to see and be
seen. When a person connects with someone in a real-life
setting, however, the interaction takes on a richness, endowed
by body language, eye contact, visual cues, intonation and
inlexion. It has an authenticity that screen-based interactions
can’t replicate. Again, this is possibly why some social-media
users report feeling hollow or empty, despite spending time
with people in a virtual sense.
It stands to reason that if we crave acknowledgement, then
so, too, does the person we’re passing on the street. Invisibility
sounds like an excellent superpower, but when it’s inlicted by
way of ignoring or avoiding, it can feel cruel. This is why humans
greet acquaintances or familiar faces with an innocuous ‘Hi, how
31
 are you?’ Nobody is really expecting to give or receive much more
than an ‘Okay, thanks’, but what’s critical in this interaction is
the sense of acknowledgement, of being seen and, in some small
way, validated. The alternative is a sense of isolation.
But that’s nonsense, some might say. How can any sense of
connection be achieved in a brief encounter? It’s only within
genuine, established relationships that this can possibly exist.
Not all intimacies are the same, however. It’s surprising,
sometimes, the candour that people demonstrate when they let
down their guard around people they don’t know well. Relieved
of the constraints that often govern close personal relationships,
with their previous knowledge, mutual friends and shared
history, individuals often feel freer to express themselves. This
is one of the reasons why therapy and counselling with a
professional you don’t already know can be beneicial. There’s
an impartiality brought to the situation that friends or family
can’t match. In an encounter with a stranger, the intimacy might
be brief – it may never be built upon as it would with a therapist
– but it’s a moment of human connection that can bolster
feelings of self-worth, meaning and essential humanness.
Being wary around strangers is not necessarily an indication
of inherent unfriendliness. According to sociologists, humans,
whose survival was based at one time on small, cooperative
groups (and, therefore, also on regarding outsiders with
suspicion) are hardwired to be wary of strangers. A study
conducted in 2015 found that being around unfamiliar people
32
raises cortisol (the stress hormone) levels, a fact that was
attributed to evolutionary wariness of strangers.
Of course, a level of wariness has kept humans alive for
millennia, but insulating oneself against unexpected and
unknown contact has a sadness to it. Imagine such fear
permeating all possible interactions: an older, frail person
shunning an ofer of help with bags because they suspect
ill intent, or even an individual being too nervous to ofer
assistance in the irst place, in case their motives are misread.
Herein lies one of the tragic issues of evading interaction
with strangers: avoidance begets avoidance and fear begets fear.
The more it becomes the norm to avoid engagement, the more
people will feel awkward about instigating it. The more people
recoil from advances, the more people will hesitate to make
them. The more people succumb to that awkwardness, the
more isolated everyone will become.
Natural boundaries
Of course, there are many circumstances that afect a person’s
willingness to engage with a stranger. On a long-haul light, it’s
understandable to be hesitant about striking up a conversation
with the passenger sitting next to you, who might turn out
to be a non-stop chatterbox. At a party, it’s not uncommon to
want to avoid being cornered by someone and monopolised for
the duration of the evening. It doesn’t equal unfriendly or cold.
It’s natural and reasonable to be mindful of one’s own need
 for personal space and time. That said, there are ways to keep
interactions brief, even when physical proximity persists. ‘Nice
talking to you, I’m going to watch a film now’ can work on a
plane and ‘Could you excuse me while I go and catch up with
my friend?’ is not impolite at a party.
There are any number of situations in the course of a regular
day that lend themselves to fleeting encounters and can elevate
experiences, imbuing the routine with the warmth of human
connection. Standing in line at the supermarket, browsing in a
shop, waiting for a bus… all of these situations are comfortably
finite and can be harnessed for a brief encounter of what
sociologists call ‘fleeting intimacy’. As author, teacher and TED
speaker Kio Stark puts it: ‘When you talk to strangers, you’re
making beautiful interruptions into the expected narrative of
your daily life and theirs.’
As well as enhancing the feelings of visibility and validation
on which humans thrive, there’s another equally compelling
reason for talking to strangers. It presents an opportunity to
make a connection with someone who is, most likely, different
ILLUSTRATIONS: SILVIA STECHER
from you. And the more people engage with each other, the
more it forces them to see each other, not as categories, but as
individual humans with specific contexts. In a world where
hatred, prejudice and violence still exist, the value of such
exchanges cannot be overestimated.
Words: Sarah Rodrigues
HOW TO CONNECT
WITH STRANGERS
• Make eye contact and, when the person
responds, smile at them.
• Say something about the circumstances you
both ind yourselves in: ‘The traic looks bad
this morning, doesn’t it?’, ‘Standing room only
today!’, ‘I didn’t think the post oice would
be so busy at this time’.
• Comment favourably or with interest on
something about the other person: ‘I love your
coat, do you mind me asking where you bought
it?’ ‘Your dog is lovely. What is its name?’
• Service providers are individuals, not faceless
non-entities. Look up from your smartphone,
smile, say hello and even enquire after their
day. ‘Have you been busy?’, ‘How long until
you get to clock of?’
These openers can lead to a conversation, however brief,
and, in turn, brighten your (and someone else’s) day.
33
 A love of the
UNPREDICTABLE
The appeal of the charity shop extends far beyond finding a boutique bargain
One of my favourite regular outings in my early teens was to
charity shops in London, with my older sister, Sonia. We would
wander down from Notting Hill tube station to Portobello
Road, intoxicated by the thrill of it all – the aroma of incense,
the psychedelic music (it was the 1970s) and the hunt for cheap,
beautiful things to take home with us.
On one such charity-shop crawl, I found my irst going-out
frock: a 1950s tea dress in crêpe de Chine, with a print of pale
spring lowers. My sister found her idea of the perfect rock-gig
34
gear – a bishop’s cape, in red silk with a gold trim. It was a foot
longer than her. She stopped short of buying the mitre to
complete her liturgical festival look, much to our mum’s relief.
I doubt we would have found such clothes in Dorothy Perkins,
House of Fraser, C&A or any of the other high-street stores, and
those early rummagings cemented my love of charity shops. It’s
a passion that endures to this day.
‘Charity shops are often popular with people who are frugal,’
says the Wikipedia entry on the subject. And, yes, they can be
goldmines for bargain hunters. But for me, the thrill of stepping
into one goes beyond a cheap buy.
Walk into other high-street shops or department stores,
and it’s all about order. Jewellery is presented in neat rows.
Clothes racks are graded according to texture and colour (this
season’s trends, so you’ll never find purple when teal’s all the
rage). Shoes are grouped according to brand or function – boots
here, trainers there, and, over there, dressy heels. Staff wear
uniforms for easy identification. Shopping is a more serious,
orderly business. Step into a charity shop, though, and it’s an
unpredictable experience – in a good way. Staff tend to be
volunteers, giving their time and energy for free, and this can
lead to a more relaxed atmosphere. Of course, there are modern
charity outlets run as businesses by paid staff, but I confess to
liking the more shambolic ones – and not knowing what you
might find is all part of the fun.
I love the randomness of the charity shop – the never-ending
stream of clothes, shoes, toys, books, bric-a-brac and household
35
 goods that low forth from the generosity of the nation into the
10,500 charity shops operating in the UK.
Crafty charity shoppers know exactly which ‘bougie’ areas of
the country to hit for the richest pickings and most expensive
cast-ofs, the barely worn Whistles, Cos and Jigsaw goodies. And
in sleepy backwater charity shops, I love that you might dig into
an oddments bin and pull out… who knows? A pair of Manolo
Blahnik shoes, for a song? Is it possible no one’s aware that
they’re worth hundreds of pounds? This is unlikely to happen at
the well-known chains, such as Fara, Cancer Research and Traid,
which have long been price-savvy, and whose valuation experts
check the market price for designer and specialist goods. In the
designer boutique section of Oxfam’s website, for example, I
found 12 handbags priced above £250, including a ‘Trapeze’ by
Céline, for £900. In the book section, I found Finden’s Tableaux
of the Affections, a rare, illustrated volume, for £2,000.
Still, without spending a fortune, I’ve managed to bag my
most treasured and luxe garments from charity shops: the
1940s jacket in navy rayon with white deco-style decoration
that I wore until it fell apart. A magenta silk shirt by Hugo
Boss (a label I wouldn’t think of actively searching for, which
is the beauty of shopping for secondhand clothes). A pale-gold
dress and one in burnt-red silk by Italian designers. A rope of
sparkling silver beads that is remarked on whenever I wear it.
Where would my wardrobe have been without these treasures?
And around the house – a hand-painted plaster cherub with
a divine face that cheers me up every day.
Of course, charity-shop trips are not always positive
experiences. You can’t go with a shopping list and it’s wise to keep
an open mind. Looking for a black leather skirt or a pair of white
Stan Smith trainers in your exact size might prove fruitless. And
while many shops clean goods before selling them, others can
be quite, well, odorous. When it comes to shoes, underwear or
nightwear, I’d feel squeamish about inheriting from a previous
36
owner. But many items are, in fact, new and unworn – donated
by high-street chains, or by people who’ve simply changed their
mind about something they’ve bought.
As for the history of the British charity shop, one of the
earliest was set up in Wolverhampton in 1899, by the city’s
Society for the Blind. It sold goods made by blind people to raise
money for the Society. Shops selling for charity became more
widespread around the time of World War Two, with a popular
thrift shop opening in Edinburgh in 1937, and the irst Red
Cross charity shop opening in 1941, at 17 Old Bond Street,
W1 – a site occupied today by Prada. The irst Oxfam shop
opened in Oxford in 1948. Today, the charity leads the ield,
with more than 700 outlets across the UK. More recently,
retail consultant, TV presenter and former high-street tsar
Mary Portas was ahead of the game with her upmarket charity
boutique, Mary’s Living & Giving Shop for Save the Children,
which she launched in 2009.
As well as the proits from these ventures going to good
causes, they (and anyone who shops in them) are also helping
to save the planet. According to a survey featured on BBC
Earth, 5 billion pounds of waste is generated each year through
returned goods, contributing 15 million metric tons of carbon
dioxide to the atmosphere. There are also several ethical and
social reasons to support charity shops (see right).
So, I ask myself: if I won the lottery, would I abandon charity
PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM
shops and head to Bond Street’s high-end luxury stores, such as
Mulberry, Tifany, Jimmy Choo and Louis Vuitton? Well, one
could try. But would I end up with things I really love? Things
that hold value and endure? Because the most loved, precious
things are hard to ind. They ind you, and they improve with
age and familiarity. And that’s something that can’t be bought
in an instant, of the shelf.
Words: Beverley D’Silva
Why charity shops are ace
• They beneit the environment: items sold get a new home rather than ending up in landill. When it comes to online
clothes and footwear shops, almost half of what consumers buy is returned, causing a huge amount of waste.
• Fundraising: charity shops raise more than £110million each year (according to surveys carried out by Charity
Finance). This helps fund medical research, overseas aid, hospice care, homeless shelters, ecological initiatives,
animal-welfare projects and many other good causes.
• Ethical beneits: new goods sold in charity shops are often Fairtrade.
• Recycling: many charity shops sell on their unsold textiles (damaged, stained or simply unwanted) to be recycled.
• Afordable goods: charity shops are a dependable source of low-cost, good-quality recycled and new items.

37
 How do you say..?
Learning how to communicate in a different language offers opportunities
that go way beyond making a reservation at a local Italian restaurant
Etymologically fascinating, furiously complicated and always
evolving, English is a joy to study for anyone interested in
language and words. For many of its native speakers, however,
its presence and usage on the world stage is a disincentive to
learning the wonders of other countries’ languages. Head to
most tourist areas around the world and the chances are you’ll
ind a few local people who speak English and, certainly in
Europe, menus, road signs and museum and art gallery guides
provided in English. It might make for an easier holiday, but
does it also mean missing out?
For the past 14 years, I’ve lived outside the UK – irst in
Vietnam for four years, and then in Switzerland for nine years.
Now, as I write, I’m moving to Italy, and I’m starting to learn
a new language. The process has its ups and downs, but when
I do ind the time and motivation, there’s a real sense of joy
and satisfaction from communicating in another tongue.
And, although my learning has an extrinsic purpose, I’m also
noticing the intrinsic pleasure it brings.
Choose your language
So, over to you. What second language, if any, would you like
to learn? Are you drawn to a particular language or culture?
Perhaps there’s a country you’ve always dreamt of visiting or a
place that holds fond memories to which you’d like to return.
Or was there a language you learnt at school that you’d like to
study in more detail?
For some people, mastering another language seems to be
as easy as putting one foot in front of another. London-based
Sinead, 34, began learning German at secondary school and, in
her words, ‘took to it like a duck to water’. This does happen for
those with a seemingly natural ainity for languages. ‘I had no
family connection to Germany, but I loved the language and I
excelled in it,’ she adds. ‘I eventually did a degree in German and
38
spent time living there. And the experience of living away from
home was life-changing.’
Not everyone’s experience of language-learning at school
is quite so smooth. Paul Noble, founder of the Paul Noble
Language Learning Institute and author of a series of Collins
language audiobooks, says it’s common for people to spend
years struggling in poorly taught classes, being confused by
grammar, to emerge unable to speak or communicate in their
chosen language.
‘I’ve never considered myself to be especially gifted at
languages,’ he says. ‘As a teenager, although I was otherwise
successful academically, I was totally lost with languages –
bemused and frustrated by them. The way they were taught
made me feel as though they were an unscaleable height and
beyond my own natural abilities.’ 
With this in mind, he went on to develop a method of
learning that gets people speaking languages without the need
for grammatical explanations (I’ve just started using his Italian
resource and have quickly been able to formulate and remember
sentences). Of course, diferent methods (and resources) will
work for diferent people. It’s a good idea to explore a range
of books, apps, online courses and audiobooks to see what
works best for you. Adult education classes are also a good
idea, especially if you’d like to get oline and learn with others
who share your desire to communicate in a diferent language.
Teaching methods have changed over the years and there’s
an emphasis on conversation and practical skills that enable
students to use the language fairly quickly.
Of course, a second language isn’t only useful for being
able to understand a menu and ask for the bill. IT consultant
Baron Christopher, 49, became a lover of languages after
meeting many international students during his time as an
undergraduate at Harvard University in the US. His experiences
 of travelling the world as a rugby player, and living abroad,
cemented his passion. He now speaks Italian, Spanish, German
and French, and has a smattering of Arabic, Dutch, Russian,
Thai, Mandarin and Japanese.
His experiences highlight how important knowing another
language can be: ‘Once, a Russian child was lost [in the US] and
I was able to say hello, ask where her mother/father was, and
help to stop her crying with a few native words,’ he says. ‘Her
face lit up. Another time, an Italian woman was injured and I
was able to help calm her and reach her family on the phone.’
Language-learning can open doors that might otherwise stay
irmly shut. Paula Webster and her husband Mike have always
been interested in wildlife conservation and, after taking early
retirement in 2009, decided to go to South America to explore
its biodiversity. Having learnt holiday Spanish 20 years earlier,
Paula started studying seriously and is now luent. Today,
the pair make wildlife documentaries and give talks about
conservation in schools, universities and at conferences across
South America, all of which would have been much harder
without Paula’s Spanish skills.
Just for fun
Embracing the nuances and attractions of another language –
regardless of one’s age – need not have an end purpose, either.
Learning can also be fun for learning’s sake.
Lauren John is a 40-year-old journalist and copywriter who’s
ILLUSTRATION: MICHELLE URRA
had a love of all things Italian since she was young. ‘Italy has
fascinated me since I was about 13,’ she reveals. ‘I don’t really
know why, but it’s one of my favourite places to learn and write
about and I’d love to visit one day.’ So far, anxiety and panic
attacks have prevented her from travelling, but that hasn’t
stopped her from learning the language or keeping in touch
with an Italian penfriend. Lauren’s method of study includes
the Duolingo app. ‘I like the diferent types of exercises –
speaking and translating. And it’s learn-at-your-own-pace, so
it’s perfect for me. Some of the phrases are random, though,
such as “the insect is stuck in the sugar”.’
Invertebrates aside, Lauren looks forward to spending time
on the app and enjoys the sense of achievement when she
remembers or guesses the right thing, ‘especially when I’ve not
picked it up for a while. It’s a good distraction and stress-relief
when I can’t settle to anything else.’
In 2012, Science Daily reported the conclusions of a Swedish
study, which had compared a group of talented language-
learners with a control set studying medicine and cognitive
science. Both groups had MRI scans before and after the three-
month trial, which saw the language-learners go from having no
knowledge of a language, such as Arabic, to speaking it luently.
In the post-study scans, it was found that in the language-
learning group, the parts of the brain associated with memory,
such as the cerebral cortex and hippocampus, had increased in
size. The same areas in the control group were unchanged.
Learning a language can also increase global awareness.
Words, after all, tell you about a culture, its food, festivals and
customs and often ofer a diferent perspective. In Maori, for
example, there are no words for please and thank you, because
politeness is always implied. That’s not to say that language
learning is without its challenges. For many of us, it takes years
to become comfortably luent in a language. But hang on in
there and don’t worry about making mistakes. You might mix
up your pesche and pesce in Italian, your caballero and caballo in
Spanish or your écharpe and écharde in French, but no matter.
Your eforts won’t go unappreciated and any resulting laughter
will be warm and shared.
Words: Kate Orson
39
 Salt of the Earth
Why there’s always been more than a pinch of interest
in the mineral that takes centre stage on most tables

The Chinese were writing about it 4,700 years ago, it was used by the ancient
Egyptians and Greeks, and throughout history, it’s opened up trade routes,
known as salt roads – there’s a lot more to this everyday seasoning than meets
the eye. Such has been its economic importance over the years that it’s also
known as white gold, and its place in language is equally assured. Where would
we be without all those gritty salt idioms: worth one’s salt, rubbing salt into the
wound, a pinch of salt? And when it comes to health, salt is invaluable.
A naturally occurring mineral, salt is made up of two elements – sodium and
chloride – and it has thousands of uses. As well as enhancing the lavour of food,
it’s an inexpensive preservative. It’s also used in cleaning and purifying products,
dyes, water-softening treatments, and manufacturing and industrial processes.
Salt is also found in many health remedies, which is less surprising, given
that it’s essential to life. The average adult body contains about 250g of this
mineral, which helps cells to communicate and transport nutrients and oxygen,
maintains luid balance, and promotes nerve and muscle function. A diet
consisting of protein, wholegrain foods, ibre, fruit and vegetables generally
provides a suicient amount of salt. Consuming too much, however, can put
pressure on the body’s organs and increase the risk of heart disease.
But exactly how much is too much? There’s plenty of conlicting advice. The
World Health Organisation advises a low-salt diet of less than 5g (one teaspoon)
per day. It also says that most people consume more than that – about 9-12g per
day. Some experts, however, say that moderate intake may be protective for
adults whose bodies are able to adjust to the amount of salt consumed and prompt
feelings of thirst if there is an excess that needs to be diluted and lushed out.
There does seem to be a consensus that neither too little nor too much salt is
good for health, so it’s best to aim for a balanced intake, which might vary from
person to person. The key is to focus on what’s right for you, while eating
a varied diet that includes all the main food groups.

Salt production
Salt is widely found in seawater and rock beds. There are two main methods
of production. Sea salt is obtained from evaporation, while rock salt (including
the lovely pink variety) is mined from deposits.
China, India, Germany, Australia, Canada and the US are the world’s largest
producers today, but salt has also been a part of British manufacturing for
hundreds of years. In the 19th century, Liverpool was the prime exporting
port for salt extracted from mines in Cheshire. Today, according to the Salt
Association, approximately two to three million tonnes of salt a year are
produced in the UK, supplying a range of industries (most of the rock salt is
spread on roads to melt ice in freezing temperatures).
There are diferent types of food-grade salt, including sea salt, Himalayan rock
salt, pickling salt and fortiied salt. While much of this is highly reined, there
are some smaller companies that focus on producing both high-quality salt and

40
DID YOU
KNOW…
• Salt lowers the freezing
point of water, making it
harder for water molecules to
bond together to form ice. But
the lower the temperature, the
more salt is needed as it’s less
eicient below -10˚C. This is
why so much is used on roads
in winter.

• There’s plenty of folklore

and superstition surrounding
salt. In various cultures and
religions, salt is used in rituals
to purify and protect people
from evil spirits. The ancient
Egyptians, Greeks and Romans
invoked their gods with
oferings of salt and water. And
in many cultures, care is taken
not to spill salt. According to
a Norwegian superstition, a
person will shed as many tears
as is necessary to dissolve
spilled salt. Even to this day,
the practice of throwing spilled
salt over your shoulder is
thought to prevent misfortune.

• In ancient times, as
a symbol of honesty and
integrity, a covenant of
salt was used as a binding
agreement. In some parts of
the world, salt has been used
as currency. It’s thought that
Roman soldiers were partly
paid in salt while protecting
the salt roads. In fact, the
word ‘soldier’ is believed to
derive from ‘sal dare’, meaning
to give salt. It’s also where
the word ‘salary’ is thought
to have come from. Right
up to the 20th century, pound
bars of salt, called amoleh,
were the basic currency in
Ethiopia, and salt has been
bartered for other goods in
many civilisations.

41
 SALT TIPS
• Add a pinch of salt to the water
in a vase of lowers to keep blooms
fresh for longer.

• Sore throat? Try gargling with

salt water. It will soothe and help
to heal.

• Put sea salt in your bath water

to ease muscle cramps, help relieve
joint stifness, soothe tired, achy
legs and stimulate circulation.
Add a few drops of essential oil
such as lavender or ylang ylang.
Soak for 15 minutes.

• If you spill red wine on your

carpet, sprinkle a generous amount
of salt into the stain. It’s said to
absorb the moisture and draw
minimising the impact on the environment. One of them is the award-winning out the wine’s colour. Let it dry
Isle of Skye Sea Salt Company in Scotland. completely and then wash with
Chris Watts, co-director and co-founder, explains how the company developed water and detergent.
its environmentally sustainable method of salt production: ‘We looked at how
sea salt was made in warmer climates, using the sun to evaporate the seawater • Salt can deter ants and leas.
in open-air ponds, and researched how we could make that work in a colder, Try sprinkling salt on problem
wetter climate,’ he explains. ‘The solution we came up with was to put the ponds places such as carpets and along
inside polytunnels so the sun would heat the seawater while [it was also] being skirting boards. Leave for a few
protected from the rain. Wind passes through the windows at each end of the hours and then hoover.
polytunnels, clearing away the saturated air, enabling the evaporation process
to be maintained. This process works efectively and means there’s no need for • Do you have a clogged bathtub
electrical power on site. However, it does leave us dependent on the weather, so or drain? Mix together one cup of
we’re a seasonal producer. Our salt is made between April and September.’ salt, one cup of baking soda and
half a cup of white vinegar. Pour
Working with nature the mixture down the drain. Wait
Within this time span, Chris explains that the amount of salt they make varies. for 20 minutes, then pour hot water
The weaker sun and shorter days at both the start and end of the season result in down until the blockage clears.
a three- to four-week cycle, but this falls to 10 to 12 days with the stronger sun
and longer days enjoyed in midsummer. • The NHS recommends 6g of
‘We now have three ponds producing lovely-quality salt crystals,’ says Chris. salt per day for adults. The amount
‘We only take the water on the high tide and each load of seawater is pre-iltered for babies and young children
down to 25 microns to remove sediment and seaweed particles. When the varies. It advises checking any
crystals are formed, we sweep the salt into piles to drain, before moving it into food labels carefully and says not
smaller polytunnels on the site, with sloping shelves, to drain further and dry to confuse salt and sodium igures
more in the sun. When it’s dry, it’s moved to our processing centre, where it’s – adults should eat no more than
sieved, sorted and packed – all by hand. It’s hard work, but we love to breathe 2.4g of sodium per day, as this is
in its fresh sea-air aroma.’ equal to 6g of salt. See nhs.uk/live-
well/eat-well/salt-nutrition

Words: Carol Anne Strange

42
Another level of flavour
Salt is a staple in most kitchens, but did you know it can be more than just a seasoning?
See how changing the way you use this simple ingredient can transform an everyday dish
into something spectacular with chef and food writer Valerie Aikman-Smith’s recipes

SALT-CRUSTED BRANZINO

Branzino is also known as Mediterranean sea bass. It’s a

white, flaky fish with a sweetish taste. You could use any
firm fish for this recipe. I like to include fennel seeds in the
crust to add an extra layer of flavour.

• 1 whole branzino, about 900g, cleaned

• 2 sprigs fresh rosemary
• 1 lemon, sliced, plus wedges to serve
• 1/2 fennel bulb, thinly sliced
• 1 garlic clove, thinly sliced
• 60ml white wine
• 5 egg whites
• 1.4kg coarse sea salt or rock salt
• 4 tbsp fennel seeds
• Cracked black pepper, to season

SERVES 2

1. Preheat the oven to 220°C (425°F/gas mark 7). Wash

the ish and pat dry with paper towels. Stuf the ish
with the rosemary, lemon slices, fennel and garlic, then
drizzle with the white wine.

2. In a large bowl, lightly whisk the egg whites. Add the

salt and fennel seeds and mix until it’s the consistency of
wet sand. Spread half the salt mixture over the bottom
of a baking dish and lay the ish on top. Season with
cracked black pepper. Cover the ish with the remainder
of the salt and pack tightly, making sure there are no
holes through which steam can escape.

3. Bake in the preheated oven for 30 minutes, then

remove and allow the ish to rest, untouched, for another
5 minutes. Crack open the salt crust with the back of a
knife and remove the salt from around the ish.

Serve with lemon wedges.

43
 OLIVE SUPPLI WITH
SAFFRON SALT

Traditional suppli have mozzarella inside and are known

in Italian as supplì al telefono, because when you bite into
them the mozzarella pulls and looks like a telephone wire.
I hide a cured black olive in the centre of mine, which
makes for a delicious surprise.

RISOTTO
• 20g dried porcini mushrooms
• 250ml white wine
• 500ml chicken stock
• 2 tbsp olive oil
• 1 garlic clove, inely chopped
• 2 tbsp fresh thyme leaves
• 1 tbsp chopped fresh rosemary
• 200g arborio rice
• 60g grated parmesan cheese
• Cracked black pepper and sea salt

CRUMB
• 16 cured black olives, stoned
• 40g plain lour
• 2 eggs, beaten
• 140g breadcrumbs
• Vegetable oil, for frying
• Safron salt, to sprinkle

MAKES 16

1. For the risotto, soak the mushrooms in the wine for

30 minutes. Drain, reserving the liquid, and chop roughly.
Pour the reserved liquid into a small pan with the chicken
stock. Bring to a boil, then reduce to a simmer.
2. Put the olive oil, garlic, thyme, rosemary and
mushrooms in a medium pan and cook over a medium
to high heat for a few seconds, coating with the olive oil.
Add the rice and stir for 2-3 minutes, until well coated
and translucent. Start adding the stock, a ladleful at
a time, stirring continuously until the liquid has been
absorbed. Continue until you have used all the liquid
(for about 20 minutes). Stir in the cheese and season
with cracked black pepper and sea salt. Pour on to a
large plate and spread out to cool.
3. To make the suppli, take tablespoons of cooled risotto
and form 16 balls. With your foreinger, make a dent in
each risotto ball and place an olive in the centre. Roll the
risotto ball in your hand to reshape and cover the olive.
4. Dust the suppli balls with lour, dip into the beaten
egg, and then toss in the breadcrumbs, until well coated.
At this stage they can be left to rest in the fridge for up
to 6 hours, until you are ready to cook.
5. Heat the oil in a heavy-bottomed pan, until it
reaches 180°C (350°F) on a deep-frying thermometer.
Alternatively, test the oil by dropping in a cube of bread.
When it’s hot enough, it should turn golden brown in
about 20 seconds.
6. Fry the suppli in batches, until crispy and golden
brown (for about 2 minutes). Drain on paper towels.
Sprinkle generously with safron salt and serve.

44
 CHOCOLATE SEA SALT
COOKIES

You may think this combination sounds a little odd, but

trust me, this is a divine cookie. One bite and you’ll feel
the explosion of tastes between the dark rich sweetness of
the chocolate and fleur de sel. Use only the best fleur de sel,
from Guérande in France.

• 140g plain lour

• 40g unsweetened cocoa powder
• 1/2 tsp baking powder
• 1/2 tsp bicarbonate of soda
• 120g dark chocolate (70% cocoa solids),
roughly chopped
• 170g unsalted butter, at room temperature
• 85g dark brown sugar
• 40g caster sugar
• 1 egg
• 1 tsp pure vanilla extract
• 1 tsp rum
• Fleur de sel, to sprinkle

MAKES APPROXIMATELY 24

1. Preheat the oven to 180°C (350°F/gas mark 4).

Sift together the lour, cocoa powder, baking powder
and bicarbonate of soda and set aside.
2. Melt 40g of the dark chocolate, either in a bowl over
a saucepan of simmering water, or in a microwave.
3. In the bowl of an electric stand mixer or using an
electric handheld beater on high speed, cream together
the butter and sugars until light and lufy, scraping
PHOTOGRAPHS: RYLAND PETERS & SMALL
4. Put the mixture in the fridge for 5 minutes, to harden
just slightly.
5. Scoop tablespoons of the mixture onto two baking
sheets lined with parchment, leaving 5cm between
each dollop. Flatten slightly with the back of the scoop.
Sprinkle a little leur de sel on top of each cookie and
bake in the preheated oven for 10 minutes. Store in an

down the sides of the bowl if necessary. Add the egg, airtight container for up to a week.
vanilla extract, rum and melted chocolate. Continue to
beat for 2 minutes. Reduce the speed to slow and add
the lour mixture. When that is well mixed, stir in the
remaining chopped chocolate.

Edited extract from Salt & Pepper by Valerie Aikman-Smith. Published by Ryland Peters & Small, £9.99.

45
 Energy lines
If you’re baled by reiki – what it is and how it works – you’re not alone. Here, we look at
the philosophy behind it and explore situations where practitioners claim it can be helpful
Imagine having a treatment that makes you feel better physically,
emotionally and mentally, but no words are spoken and the
practitioner doesn’t – or barely – touches you. This might sound
hard to believe but it’s exactly what reiki practitioners and
people who receive the treatment claim happens in a session.
Reiki is a form of energy healing, developed by a Japanese
monk called Mikao Usui at the beginning of the 20th century.
The word reiki means ‘universal life energy’. It’s based on the
belief that there’s an energy, or life force, that lows through
everyone and everything. This is not a new concept. In ancient
India, universal energy was referred to as prana, a term that’s
still used in yoga practice today. Native Americans call it the
Great Spirit. In China, it’s referred to as chi (or qi). Chinese
medicine and acupuncture are rooted in the concept of balancing
and increasing this energy to promote optimal health. Reiki is
based on similar principles. Its practitioners believe that when
energy becomes blocked or imbalanced within a person’s body,
it can lead to physical and mental ill-health. During a session,
the practitioner will work at rebalancing the energy ields in
and around your body, by placing their hands on or over you.
People choose reiki for a variety of reasons. For Michelle, a
sales executive from Ruislip in Middlesex, it was a last-ditch
attempt to help her move on after her marriage ended: ‘I’d
tried counselling and read just about every self-help book on
relationships and self-love under the sun,’ she explains, ‘but I
still felt a lot of anger towards my ex-husband and I didn’t want
to be this bitter, resentful person.’ Michelle admits to being
cynical about reiki at irst: ‘I just didn’t get how it worked. But
one of my friends was having regular treatments to help her
feel more conident, and she swore by it, so in the end I igured
I might as well give it a go.’ Reiki ended up providing Michelle
46
with the breakthrough she’d been looking for: ‘It was like
having the best massage ever – but without being touched,’ she
says. ‘It was the strangest sensation. I felt so relaxed, it was as
if my body had turned to air, but the practitioner didn’t place
a inger on me. I could feel the heat from her hands going into
my body, though, and it was so relaxing.’
At the end of Michelle’s session the practitioner told her that
she’d detected a lot of blocked sadness and anger in her body,
which she’d worked on releasing. ‘I did feel lighter afterwards,’
Michelle conirms. ‘And the residual anger I’d been feeling
towards my ex-husband seemed to have melted away. I’m still
not sure exactly how it worked, but it was healing.’
Jane, a teacher from Hove in East Sussex, started going for
fortnightly reiki sessions when her partner, Ade, was diagnosed
with cancer. ‘I knew that all of the stress I was bottling up,
trying to stay strong and brave for Ade, was no good for me,’ she
recalls. ‘I had some reiki to help release the stressful energy.’
Thankfully, Ade’s cancer is now in remission and Jane credits
her regular treatment during that dark, post-diagnosis time as a
sanity-saver. ‘After each session I’d feel a wave of grief washing
through me,’ she says. ‘I’d have a good old cry in the car on
the way home, but then I’d feel a beautiful sensation of peace
because I’d been able to release the fear and the grief.’
How exactly does reiki work? In their training, reiki healers
undergo a process known as attunement, which enables them
to work with universal energy so that they can help heal
others. There are three levels in reiki training. Level 1 is the
initiation. The main focus is on opening the energy channels
within the practitioner so that they’re able to work with the
universal energy. The emphasis at this level is on practising on
themselves. Level 2 emphasises practising healing on others.
47

Level 3 of the training process is to become a reiki master. This
enables the practitioner to teach and attune others.
Reiki practitioners are also taught about the diferent chakras
in the body and what an energetic imbalance in each area
might mean. For example, sensing a blockage in the throat
chakra could represent a problem with self-expression and
communication. An imbalance in the solar plexus area points
to fear, anger or shame. A blockage in the heart area indicates
pain, sadness or isolation. Once a practitioner knows what each
area represents, they can talk to their client about what they’ve
felt, although no words are needed for the healing to take place.
David, a theatre director who became a reiki master in
2007 after a series of sessions cured his insomnia, says he
can tell immediately where blockages exist within his clients
because his hands start to tingle when they get to that part of
the body. ‘It’s as if the energy is showing me where I need to
focus my attention,’ he explains. Any sudden increase in heat
or tingling in the practitioner’s hands indicates some kind of
imbalance and the need for healing, or, as Mikao Usui put it:
‘Reiki lows to the areas of need, soothing and supporting the
body’s natural ability to heal itself.’
It’s important to note that reiki is not an alternative to conventional
medicine. As a complementary therapy, it can be an effective form
of stress relief for some people. If you have any concerns about your
physical or mental health, see your GP.
Words: Siobhan Curham
Siobhan is an award-winning author. Her memoir, Something More, a
Spiritual Misfit’s Search for Meaning, is published by Little, Brown.
48
WHAT HAPPENS IN
A REIKI SESSION
• When you irst arrive at your session, you’ll
have a consultation with your practitioner,
where they’ll explain what reiki is, ask you
about your current state of health and why
you want to have the treatment.
• The session usually takes place on a
treatment table – although you can have
reiki in a seated position – and you remain
fully clothed.
• The practitioner may play soothing music
and dim the lights to help you relax.
• They will then begin placing their hands
over or on various parts of your body,
usually starting with your head.
• As they work, you might feel warmth, cold
or a tingling sensation, and experience a
feeling of deep relaxation. Some people
report feeling nothing during the session but
that doesn’t mean that it isn’t working.
• Most sessions last between 45 minutes
and an hour.
• Practitioners recommend that you have
between four and six sessions to achieve
the best results, as the beneit is cumulative.
It’s ine to a book a once-in-a-while, pick-
me-up session, though.
• You might feel thirsty immediately after a
session. If so, drink plenty of water.
• It’s possible to feel revitalised after a session,
but it’s common to feel deeply relaxed so, if
you can, book a session for a time when you
know you can go home and be peaceful.
• There’s no centralised accreditation process
for reiki practitioners, so it’s important
to do your due diligence when booking a
session. If you don’t know anyone who can
ILLUSTRATIONS: ELLICE WEAVER
recommend a practitioner personally, try
booking one via a treatment centre or spa.
If you search online, choose someone with a
lot of client testimonials and make sure that
they’ve done their reiki training up to level 2.
D I S C O V E R T E E N B R E AT H E

B E I N S PI R ED • B E B R AV E • B E K I N D • B E YO U R S EL F

TEEN Breathe

Finding happiness • One step ahead • I am enough • Wings of change • Room for focus
Warning! Meltdown on the way • A letter to my scars • Deine your success • Time out

T E E N B R E AT H E . C O . U K
 Time to log of?
If you’re spending more hours talking
to people online than to friends, family
and colleagues in person, it might be
worth considering whether social media
is taking over your life
You may recognise the scene. A group of people are hanging out
together, but they’re not talking to each other because their eyes
are ixed intently on screens. They’re lost in their individual
online worlds, chatting to more exciting people, visiting places
that are more enchanting than their present company. They scroll
and scroll… oblivious to everyone and everything around them.
Social media use is huge – one source estimates that a third of
the world’s population are sharing their lives online. Facebook
is the number one site, with 2.3 billion users, YouTube is second,
with 1.9 billion, and WhatsApp is third, with 1.5 billion. On
average, people in the UK check their phones 28 times per day
(but that rises to 150 times per day among younger people), and
you can bet that it’s not just to view missed calls.
There’s no denying that social media has positive uses. It’s a
platform for self-expression and creativity, for building personal
50
brands and sharing experiences and information. But evidence
is mounting for the negatives, too.
A recent UK government report found that social media use is
linked with increased rates of poor sleep, anxiety and depression
(with anxiety and depression estimated to have increased by
70 per cent in the past 25 years). Respondents in a study by the
University of Copenhagen complained of ‘Facebook envy’ –
negative feelings from looking at other people’s pages and
comparing their own bodies and lives to seemingly perfect and
covetable ones. Those who abstained from the site, however,
claimed that they felt relatively satisied with their lives.
Huge swathes of time can be lost to social media – some
people suspect that President Trump doesn’t sleep and instead
spends the whole night entangled in his Twitter feed. And
as author Neil Gaiman puts it: ‘I tweet, therefore my entire
life has shrunk to 140 character chunks of instant event and
predigested gnomic wisdom. And swearing.’
Joking aside, there is particular concern for young people.
Ninety-one per cent of 16-24-year-olds use the internet for
social networking. Prince Harry recently warned of the
dangers, describing social media as ‘more addictive than drugs
and alcohol’ and voicing his concerns about its impact on the
mental health of children and young adults.
Stephanie Barnes, a senior PR consultant based in Brighton,
East Sussex, recalls the love/hate relationship she had with
social media when she was a teenager. ‘I was 13 or 14 when
I started using social media seriously,’ she says. ‘I was on
Myspace, Faceparty and LiveJournal. I found the latter really
good for my mental health as it gave me a platform to write
out my teenage angst. Myspace helped connect me to creative
people. I knew early on that I wanted to work in design and
graphics, and there wasn’t much support for that at school.’
Stephanie, who’s now 32, says her parents were supportive of
her ambitions, but also kept an eye on her internet time. ‘I was
allowed on it for around two hours a day to chat to like-minded
people and build my websites, but I think they were quite
worried about how obsessed I was becoming with it.’
She was, she says, taking ‘real poser pictures’ of herself and
posting them online, but believes that it boosted her conidence
and body image. However, those ‘free-and-easy’ feelings began
to change as she started to spend more time on her web design.
‘I felt pressure to keep on top of the game. If I was working
online and my parents told me to come of, I’d panic that my
website or my time on Myspace wasn’t being seen by the right
people. It was a real anxiety.’
51
 In 2010, she launched her website, deerbrains.com, to relect
her inspirations in art. ‘I didn’t go out much for about a year.
I’d cancel plans with friends at the last minute just to work on
my website, out of fear that someone else’s website would be
better than mine. My mum was worried I wasn’t being sociable
enough, so I’d go out with my friends, but I’d be on my emails
and not present with them at all. They’d joke about it, but
looking back, it was disrespectful. I was just so concerned I’d
miss an opportunity if I wasn’t online.’
The Royal Society for Public Health is calling for measures
to mitigate the negative efects of social media. These include
a pop-up notiication for when you’ve spent a certain period
of time online, a watermark on photos to indicate that they’ve
been digitally manipulated, advice on how to use social media
in a healthy way, and intelligent analysis to identify those who
may be at risk from poor mental health and discreetly direct
them towards help.
Jason Shiers is a psychotherapist at UK Addiction Treatment
(UKAT), which runs programmes nationwide. ‘We tend to see
social media addiction as secondary to other addictions, such
as to alcohol, drugs or gaming,’ he says. ‘The addiction becomes
the outward manifestation of the escape from life that a person
has chosen. It’s a way of coping with emotions and avoiding
being present in life and relationships.’
Some people try to limit the time they spend on social media.
‘Many get rid of their smartphone and buy a phone that doesn’t
have the internet,’ Jason continues. ‘But these measures don’t
really deal with the underlying issues. We wouldn’t talk to
someone about the management of their social media usage.
What they’re struggling with is something else.’
Instead, he suggests to people that the way forward is to build
a better relationship with themselves and ‘one that allows them
to be present and to get a perspective on their internal life’.
Stephanie recalls reaching a crisis point in 2012: ‘I was
constantly stressed and my usage was afecting my relationship
with my then boyfriend. He said I needed to take up meditation
or yoga to relax and stop worrying.’ It all came to a head when
her website went down for a few hours. ‘I was so upset, I was
crying and couldn’t stop… That was when I knew my mental
health was sufering and I needed to balance myself.’
She spent time facing her feelings instead of running away
from them. ‘I saw that life wasn’t about sitting on social media.
I split from my boyfriend, but his advice stuck. I started doing
meditation, I learned about the law of attraction and energy. I
saw that if we focus too much on something, it won’t come our
way until we’ve eased up on the energy to allow it to low in.’
The phrase ‘What is meant for us won’t pass us by’ became
her mantra and helped her relax about things. She made other
changes, too. ‘I believe who we follow on social media impacts
who we are, and I unfollowed a lot. I’m still active on Instagram
but I’ve gone from following 1,400 accounts to just 300. I don’t
have Facebook on my phone, which feels healthier. I live in the

52
 now and I do things one at a time. I only check my emails at
10am, 12noon and 4pm, unless something urgent comes up.
I’m grateful not to want to be online all the time.’
If you think you may have a problem with social media
overuse (check the points below), there are steps you can take.
The irst is to acknowledge that it’s become an issue. Accept
that you’re spending too much time on this one activity and
make a promise to do something about it.
Many people choose to delete apps from their phone, but
as UKAT’s Jason explained, this doesn’t deal with possible
underlying problems. However, if you feel that limiting the
time you spend on social media will help, consider setting
yourself some boundaries. You could select speciic times to
check your notiications and update your statuses, or choose
to check accounts from your computer only, which may limit
your activity to home use. You could also spend more time
on enjoyable activities that take you away from the online
world. Take up a new hobby – start painting, dance classes or
join a debating society. If you’re busy doing other things, the
chances are you’ll have less time to spend on social media.
ILLUSTRATIONS: VARVARA FOMINA

Words: Beverley D’Silva

If you think you might be addicted to social media or that your

use of it is having a negative impact on your life, consider making
an appointment to see your GP, who will be able to recommend a
trained addiction counsellor. A qualified professional will help to
identify the root of the problem and explore ways of dealing with
compulsive tendencies.

SIGNS YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA USE MAY BE A CAUSE FOR CONCERN

• Constantly taking photos and
selies on a smartphone to upload
to social media. People with
social media addiction tend to
take pictures of anything and
everything – including their
breakfast, lunch and dinner.
• Waking up during the night to
check social media, or immediately
reaching for your phone upon
waking in the morning, just to
check notiications.
• Checking social media while
making dinner or carrying out
other household activities.
• Engaging with social media
throughout the day, while
going from one place to another
– for example, ‘checking in’ when
on the train to work, then again
when getting to work, and once
more when back home from work.
• Being unable to complete tasks
for work or school because you’ve
spent so much time on social
media sites.
• Finding it diicult to have face-
to-face conversations with
others and more comfortable
conversing with people via
phone, email or messaging.
• Having signiicantly more friends
on social media than in real life.
Some people have hundreds of
online friends but have only met
a handful of them in person.

53
 MINDFULNESS

‘Whoever looks into himself as into vast space and carries galaxies
in himself, also knows how irregular all galaxies are; they lead into
the chaos and labyrinth of existence’ Friedrich Nietzsche
 Permission to change
Feel stuck in a groove you’re not keen on? It might be you need to explore what’s keeping
you there in order to make the changes that will lead you towards the life you really want
If you’re waking up each day feeling discontented with life – be
it because you’re working in a job you don’t like, you’ve settled
in a place that feels soul-destroying or you’re existing (perhaps
even comfortably), while sensing you’re not where you want
to be – it can seem near impossible to believe and trust that
anything will change. In your mind, the situation might feel
static, your options restricted, your path to fulfilment blocked.
But these are limiting thoughts that can stop you from seeing
that change is possible. One way to alter this perception is to
realise there are choices. And the first one could be to cast off
the thoughts, feelings and habits that are blocking your route
to personal happiness and contentment.
Let go of your fears
This doesn’t mean it’s easy, however. Changing your outlook
and overriding deeply rooted thoughts and beliefs can be a
struggle. Puja K McClymont is a London-based neuro-linguistic
programming mindset, life and business coach, who helps
people find confidence and gain more control of their lives.
‘Nearly anything to do with change is connected with fear and
the actual fear of making changes,’ she says. ‘We are creatures
of habit, yet we tend to want so much more from our lives
without making the changes necessary to achieve them.’
These negative, fear-fuelled beliefs tend to run over and over
in a loop and can keep people where they are, hostages to their
own limiting thoughts and ideas. This can deter them from
trying fresh avenues, following their intuition and exploring
options that might be more fulfilling.
56
A person’s mindset can easily be influenced by environment,
circumstances, experiences and other people’s beliefs. That
person then creates a story for themselves that is based upon
these influences. If the mindset is fuelled by an undercurrent of
fear, this is likely to keep a person stuck but safe, constrained
but comfortable, and they can end up existing rather than
living. Holding on to this mindset fortifies the life you don’t
want, and it can become weighed down by heavy layers of
restrictions, sadness and regret. Given permission, self-limiting
thoughts can create a jail and keep you in there for life.
Kitty Waters, a transformational teacher, host of a
podcast called Kitty Talks and co-creator of The Network
for Transformational Leaders, is on a mission to help people
improve their lives. Her Do Your Dharma course helps people to
find their true calling, which involves letting go of feeling stuck
and creating a positive mindset that’s in alignment with the
life they want. Kitty says: ‘Awareness is the first step to change.
Everything is energy. What you focus on expands, and where
energy goes, focus flows. You shape your life experience through
your beliefs, and your thoughts and words create your reality.
When you’re aware of this, you can choose words, beliefs,
intentions and actions that help create the life you want.’
This change of mindset means letting go of your story and
any rigid thoughts and beliefs you have about both yourself
and the world. These thoughts might connect to issues
concerning trust, lack of confidence and self-worth, which are
all underpinned by fear. You have to be willing to give up this
investment in fear. Once you do this, life starts to flow.
 There are techniques that can overwrite your mind’s current
programme to establish a mindset that is more nurturing and
supportive and will help you move towards your dream life.
Puja suggests: ‘Start by writing a huge list full of all the things
you want in your life. Nothing negative, no ifs or buts, just what
you want. Then go through the list and actually be aware of the
feelings and sensations you get in your body when you read a
particular item. If you tense up, you’re fearing that it’ll never
happen. If you feel smiley, it’s likely that’s exactly what you need
to be doing with your life.
‘Review that list and separate the items that made you feel
tense. Those are the items that most require a shift in your
mindset. By planning backwards, so from the point where you’re
achieving that particular goal, you will soon see what you need
to do in order to get there. Suddenly, the fear dissipates and the
goal starts to become more realistic. Of course, you then need to
carve out time to follow the plan.’
As you begin creating a supportive mindset and moving
towards your goals, be aware of tension creeping in. Stressing
and overthinking can show up as resistance to change. When
you feel this tightening sensation, focus on lightening up. Bring
some humour and fun to the situation.
Puja says: ‘Be mindful of the words you use to describe your
goals. Keep the tone positive and in a forward motion, so that
you train your brain to accept the changes you’re making to live
your best life. If you believe that you can do it, you’re more likely
to achieve it because your will and motivation will always be
directed towards that goal. Your goal becomes your purpose.’
Changing your mindset so that you give up negative thoughts
and habits in favour of a fresh outlook requires constant
ILLUSTRATION: OLIVIA WALLER
attention on a daily basis. But the effort is worthwhile. Through
mindful attention, it’s possible to get out of your own way and
adopt a more optimistic mindset that, hopefully, will become
your new default mode of being. From here, you’ll feel lighter
and more capable of moving towards a more contented life.
Words: Carol Anne Strange
STEPS TO GET YOU STARTED
Try these exercises to change your outlook
What thoughts are holding you back?
Make a list of the thoughts, feelings and beliefs that
are self-limiting and keeping you stuck. Perhaps it’s
that you’re not clever enough or don’t have enough
resources, or you feel worthless, with nothing to
offer to the world. Dig deeper. Beyond these limiting
thoughts, do you feel fear? Are you frightened that
making changes will pull you out of your comfortable
place and make you vulnerable? See what comes up
for you, and then let it go.
Change your thoughts
For every self-limiting thought or belief, change
the dialogue to something positive, expansive and
limitless. For example: ‘I’m capable, creative and
resourceful’, ‘I’m worthy and open to receiving’ or
‘I can do this’. Truly feel the meaning of these
words and invest in your self-belief.
Do three things today that move you towards
the life you want
Intention is one thing. It needs to be followed by
action. Susan Jeffers, author of Feel the Fear and
Do It Anyway, says: ‘The only way to get rid of the
fear of doing something is to go out and do it.’ So
write down three things you can do today that will
take you three steps closer to creating the life you
truly want. Keep taking action every day, and do
more of what lights you up.
57
 Fabled encounters
How the words of Aesop, so often first heard in childhood, can help to shape the adult
‘Honesty is the best policy.’ ‘Slow and steady wins the race.’ ‘Birds
of a feather flock together.’ ‘Quality not quantity.’ ‘Necessity is the
mother of invention.’
Most likely you’ve heard or used these phrases many times
in your life, possibly without giving their origin a second
thought, so it might come as a surprise to learn they all stem
from the wisdom of one man – Aesop, one of the greatest
storytellers of all time. His gift to literature – and indeed to
ethics, because each of his narratives had a profoundly moral
message – includes The Hare and the Tortoise, The Lion and the
Mouse and The Boy Who Cried Wolf.
Aesop’s own story is as fabulous (in the original sense of the
word, meaning fable-like) as his tales. Born a slave on the Greek
island of Samos in about 620BC he was allegedly mute until the
goddess Isis gave him a voice as a reward for helping one of her
priestesses. He was eventually set free by his master, Iadmon,
and travelled far and wide, inally making his way to Delphi,
where, in about 560BC, he died in terrible circumstances. Some
versions have him framed for stealing from a temple, as payback
for insulting the locals, and then being stoned to death and his
body thrown of a clif as punishment, while others state that
he took matters into his own hands, deiantly leaping to his
58
death. Either way, the god Apollo was apparently so infuriated
by Aesop’s end that he sent a plague to Delphi.
Leaving aside his ictionalised death, it’s the iction he created
in life for which the world is indebted to him – more than 700
yarns that, true to the oral tradition of the day, were not written
down. It wasn’t until several centuries later that the irst
collections of his stories started to appear in written form.
Aesop holds a special place in my heart and life. When I was a
child, in Cyprus, my mother would recite his tales to my brother
and me, often from memory, taking pains to explain the moral
behind each one. That’s the thing about Aesop. Underpinning
the seemingly simple stories of hares and bears, cocks and
crows, ants and bugs, horses, donkeys and mules, were modes
of being and thinking that could help people be wiser and
kinder human beings.
My mum – and Aesop – taught me that it wasn’t great to
boast, to keep things that didn’t belong to me or to be unkind.
Some I got straight away. Others, such as ‘never give up’, I’m still
working on. On the next page are six of my favourites. They’ve
served me well and have helped shape my character. I only wish
I had my mum’s lair for telling them…
Turn the page for a selection of Aesop’s fables and their morals
59
 The North Wind and the Sun
The North Wind and the Sun are bickering about who is the
most powerful. They spot a human being walking along a road
far below them and decide to settle the argument once and
for all by seeing who can take the person’s coat off. The North
Wind blows, and huffs and puffs and rages, but all that happens
is that the person buttons their coat right up and tightens the
belt. The Sun has a go. Its warm rays soothe the pedestrian.
Within a few minutes, off comes the coat and the Sun wins.
Moral: Never bully, and always try to be kind. It’s the best
way to be and might even help you get what you want. People
respond better to gentle persuasion than they do to being
harassed and threatened.
The Dog and His Reflection
A dog is running through the village, delighted with the bone
he’s just been given by the butcher. He stops by a stream and,
catching his reflection in the water, mistakes it for another dog
holding an equally juicy meal in its jaws. Overcome by greed,
he tries to snatch the food, falls into the stream, loses his tasty
treat and only just manages to climb out alive.
Moral: If you have enough, then you don’t need more. Be happy
with what you have and don’t be greedy.
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The Lion and the Mouse
A lion sleeping in the jungle is so furious when a mouse races
across his legs and wakes him that he pins her down with his
paw. The mouse pleads for her life. She points out that she’s
meagre prey for such a noble beast and then promises that if the
lion sets her free, she will one day repay his kindness. The lion
laughs at this suggestion, but lets her go. Some while later, the
lion is caught in a hunter’s net. The little mouse hears his roars
and races to his rescue. She gnaws through the ropes and sets
him free.
Moral: Help others for no other reason than it’s a good thing to
do, and in return, your deeds may one day be repaid. My mum
also used the story to teach us to reciprocate and to find a way
to repay any kindnesses that had been shown to us.
The Crow and the Pitcher
A thirsty crow finds a pitcher half full of water, but try as she
might, she can’t reach in far enough to drink. The neck of the
pitcher is too narrow, her beak is too short, and she’s at a loss
for what to do. Should she try to tip it over, she wonders, and
then attempt to sip a few drops before the water seeps into the
ground? Then an idea comes to her. She drops a pebble into the
pitcher and sees the water rise. She adds another, and it rises
further. Finally, it reaches a level she can reach.
Moral: Approach problems in a mindful and logical way. Think
about the situation from different angles. This tale gave rise to
two sayings: ‘Where there’s a will, there’s a way’ and ‘Necessity
is the mother of invention’.

The Two Goats
Two goats are frolicking on either side of a deep gorge. Both
want to cross to the other side, and they spot a narrow bridge,
formed from a fallen tree that connects the two sides of the
mountain. They race to the bridge and meet somewhere in the
middle. Neither one will retreat and a fight ensues that sees
both goats plummet to their deaths in the ravine below.
Moral: Sometimes you have to back down to avoid disaster.
I think about this one when I’m driving down a narrow road
and I can see that the car coming towards me is not going to
pull in to any of the several spaces between us…
The Ants and the Grasshopper
It’s the middle of summer and the grasshopper is enjoying
itself, spending its days dancing and singing and going to
parties. The ants, meanwhile, are toiling away, gathering
food and taking it down to their nests. The grasshopper
looks on in bewilderment and asks the ants to join in its
revelries. ‘We can’t,’ say the ants. ‘We want to make sure we
have enough food for winter, and suggest you do the same.’
‘Winter is ages away,’ says the grasshopper. ‘We’ll sort out
ILLUSTRATIONS: NAMASRI NIUMIM
our food closer to the time.’ Of course winter soon comes,
the grasshopper perishes and the ants survive.
Moral: There’s a time for work and a time for play. Sayings that
reflect the moral of this fable include: ‘Make hay while the sun
shines’ and ‘You reap what you sow’.
Words: Xenia Taliotis
THE HISTORY OF FABLES
According to the Encyclopaedia Britannica,
the Western fable tradition effectively began
with Aesop, but what are fables, and what
sets them apart from fairy tales, parables and
myths? By and large, it’s the fact that they
use animals to show humans their character
flaws. Fables highlight humans’ vanity, greed,
deceit and, occasionally, their finer qualities
– determination, perseverance and kindness.
Interestingly, they were first directed at
adults, it wasn’t until the Renaissance that
their potential to teach children ethics was
recognised and exploited.
Aesop remains the undisputed master,
but what he began, others extended. Fable-
telling gradually spread throughout the
world and even expanded into a longer
and far more detailed form – the beast epic.
George Orwell’s Animal Farm falls into this
genre, as does the poem The Hind and the
Panther, by John Dryden.
61
 Just the job
The value of understanding differences in the workplace
That colleague who seems to know exactly where to strike
when it comes to inluencing those around them, the boss
who talks a great game but is really only in it for the power.
Sometimes it may feel as though you are the only one capable
of seeing through the emotional manoeuvring at your
workplace – and you might just be right.
While it’s often talked about, emotional intelligence isn’t a
straightforward or binary concept. People see, interpret and
understand the world and human interaction in diferent
ways. When it comes to the work environment, the likelihood
is there’ll be people from many walks of life and backgrounds,
each with their own perspectives and behaviours. Within this
grouping, few will ind it easy to igure out what makes each
and every one of their colleagues tick while also being able to
understand themselves and their emotional responses.
Different perceptions
A person who is able to interpret and respond to the emotions
of diferent colleagues can certainly ind it helpful in the
workplace, but just what is it about this character trait that
makes it for some such a coveted skill? What can it bring to the
choppy waters of relationships, the oice, family life to help
navigate the owner safely to dry land?
One place to start is with a deinition that provides some
insight into the internal life of a person whose level of emotional
intelligence is said to be high. Neel Burton is a psychologist,
philosopher and writer, the author of several books, including
Heaven and Hell: The Psychology of the Emotions. He says:
‘Emotional intelligence can supericially be deined as “the
ability to identify and manage one’s own emotions and the
emotions of others”. An emotion is, above all, a felt attitude or
stance towards an object or class of object. This felt attitude is
62
automatic and often unconscious, and is appropriate or justiied
in so far as it relects the relation between object and subject,
which itself is a function of context and values.’
One deinition of emotional intelligence, then, might be
seen as having the ability to recognise those feelings and
emotions that you have towards an object or subject and, more
importantly, knowing how to manage them. It also suggests
you recognise the emotions of others, a skill that could be used
for good or for ill. For the empathic colleague it’s one way they
might form deep and trusting relationships. But is it possible to
possess such a skill and use it to coerce a colleague, for example,
when it comes to achieving your own ambitions?
To answer this question is to ask another: is emotional
intelligence a skill that can be learned or is it something that
comes through as part of an innate, already programmed
personality? While not quite a question of nature or nurture,
it’s more a supposition of whether people have the potential to
enhance their own level of emotional intelligence and if that
skill is always inherently good, necessary or even desirable.
Therapist and author Sally Baker believes it is possible for
some to strengthen personal levels of emotional intelligence
and that for those who can and wish to do so active listening
techniques might help them on their journey. But as a power
for good? To quote Nobel prize-winning economist Milton
Friedman: ‘The power to do good is also the power to do harm.’
And it’s this power, in the form of emotional intelligence,
that allows the possessor of this trait to use it for selish as
well as altruistic means. Take the example of the workplace.
A colleague spreads fear about redundancy to other colleagues,
knowing this is exactly the type of rumour that will trigger
rebellion and unrest, while they diligently carry on working
– making themselves look good to management. Or perhaps
63
 ‘The power to do good is also the power to do harm’
MILTON FRIEDMAN
the boss who creates factions in their team, believing the fear of
failing and of competing will make team members work harder
and for longer. Adam Grant, a professor of management and
psychology at the University of Pennsylvania’s Wharton School
of Business, warns of the following: ‘Emotional intelligence
is important, but the unbridled enthusiasm has obscured a
dark side. New evidence shows that when people hone their
emotional skills, they become better at manipulating others.
‘When you’re good at controlling your own emotions, you
can disguise your true feelings. When you know what others
are feeling, you can tug at their heartstrings and motivate them
to act against their own best interests.’
That boss who gives a rousing, emotional speech but whose
motivation is to create an even heavier workload; that colleague
who, as Adam says, tugs at the heartstrings to oload some of
their own work and skip of early – that’s emotional intelligence
used for personal or inancial gain.
Fortunately, for every employee who uses emotional
manipulation for their own beneit, there will often be someone
of equal power who recognises what’s going on and tackles the
issue. One of the real beneits of being emotionally intelligent
and in a senior position is the ability to see when others are
using emotions inappropriately and being able to put a stop to
it or, at the least, challenging them on it.
Force for good
Having explored the darker side of emotional intelligence,
there are also hundreds of instances when this skill can be used
for good. As mentioned previously, those trusted and positive
relationships stem from the ability to understand, empathise
and respond accordingly to emotional triggers. When you spend
most of your waking time working with people who are not
quite family and not quite friends, being someone who is both
able to read others and respond in an appropriate way can be
one way of making for a happier work environment.
Take, for example, the colleague who starts to act coldly and
distant towards others in the shared oice space. Empathy,
which is often coupled with efective communication skills,
according to Sally, will uncover the reason far more quickly
than by ignoring a person or even feeling angry in return.
Active listening skills can in some situations also help to
resolve situations when a colleague is displaying emotions
or behaviours that are untypical for them.
64
Sally describes an enhanced sense of personal value that
colleagues experience when they feel listened to. She also
links the idea of charisma with someone who displays high
levels of emotional intelligence: ‘If you were to unpick the
characteristics of someone you consider has charisma, you
would ind they demonstrate traits of emotional intelligence
even without calling it that.’
But it’s not just colleagues who beneit, leaders, too,
can inspire the best from their team. Daniel Goleman, a
psychologist, lecturer and leading igure in the deinition of
emotional intelligence, divided this trait into ive main areas:
1. Self-awareness
2. Self-regulation
3. Motivation
4. Empathy
5. Social skills
To possess these skills is to hold the keys to the door when it
comes to understanding, motivating and inspiring a team.
Perhaps the crucial element that separates the leader
with positive intentions from the one seeking only proit or
personal glory is that of empathy. This skill stands out among
all the others as being the one that regulates and humanises
interactions with staf and team members.
Daniel and others point to the fact that emotional
intelligence, for the most part, is exceptionally useful and has
the potential for much good. Yes, there are those who would
use it for nefarious purposes but, by and large, people don’t.
Whether a person can gain a greater degree of emotional
intelligence – if that’s what they would like to try to do – is
something of a mystery. There are practices that can be put
in place, such as active listening skills and trying to really
understand how someone is feeling, but it’s important to
remember that everyone will have their own perspective and
that we’re all wired diferently.
ILLUSTRATIONS: SARA THIELKER
Boss or colleague, team player or lone wolf, the skills that
emotional intelligence brings with it can build up or tear down,
depending on intent. So be sure to celebrate the team players
and watch out for the wolves – especially if they come wearing
sheep’s clothing.
Words: Caroline Pattenden
HOW TO BE AN
ACTIVE LISTENER AT WORK

1. Encourage. Use verbal and non-verbal cues to show

you’re listening and encourage the speaker to keep talking.
Nod your head, make agreement noises and smile.

2. Feedback. Clarify points the speaker has made in

the form of a question, or summarise a point in your
own words.

3. Focus. Try not to get distracted by what’s going on

around you. Look at the speaker when they’re talking
and don’t always be thinking of a reply.

4. Empathise. Try to get an idea of how the speaker

is feeling by putting yourself in their shoes when they
talk to you.

5. Listen. Not just to what’s being said but how it’s being
said. Check body language and tone of voice for more
clues on how the speaker is really feeling.

65
 Enter the labyrinth 
How to quieten the mind, calm the body and open a channel
for intuition through this ancient art
The timeless and powerful symbol of the labyrinth is found
all over the world: etched on the landscape, carved into floors,
woven into fabrics and painted on jewellery and household
objects. As early as the Neolithic Age, their spiralling paths were
traced with fingertips or feet, creating a shift in consciousness.
Historically, labyrinths were associated with magic, mythology
and religion. Today they are sought out for their meditative
qualities. These walkable mandalas bring something different
to everyone who experiences them.
The spiral has, throughout history, represented growth and
change. It’s reflected in geometric patterns from the natural
world: the coiled shell of the snail, the arrangement of a rose, the
spinning vortex of whirlpools and tornados, the spiral growth
habit of plants (as seen in pineapples and pine cones) our coiling
galaxy and even the inner ear. Transcending culture and religion,
the spiral is a sacred symbol that reminds us of our evolving
journey and constantly shifting perspective through life.
Not to be confused with the maze, with its cul-de-sacs,
multiple entrances and blind choices, the labyrinth has only one
convoluted path leading to a central point. Without the high
66
walls or hedges that obscure the path of the maze, the central
point of the labyrinth is always visible. The path may meander,
shifting in unexpected ways. Often it seems to steer you away
from your goal, but ultimately, surrendering yourself to it, you
will find your way through. You can’t get lost. With no need to
figure out how to reach the centre, a walker can free their mind
in walking meditation.
While mazes are designed to challenge and stimulate, the
closed curve of the labyrinth has been shown to slow and
soothe the mind and body. As you pace or trace the labyrinth’s
unfaltering lines, you begin to shift from left-brain logic,
reasoning and goal-focused thinking to the more open, fluid and
mindful process of the right-brain. Engaging in activities which
invoke and stimulate undervalued right-brain qualities can help
to reintegrate and balance the two hemispheres, harmonising
the creative, intuitive and emotional part of yourself with the
focused, rational and action-based part. It’s when these aspects
work in unison that we can harness our true potential.
Turn the page for a guide to labyrinth meditations
67
 Finding a labyrinth
Often hiding in plain sight, labyrinths can typically be found in
parks, churches, church grounds, cathedrals, gardens, retreat
centres and in places where the natural beauty of the area has
inspired this meditative or spiritual practice. The labyrinth
locator is a good worldwide tool for locating a labyrinth near
you (labyrinthlocator.com), but a local search might bring up
more hidden gems.
Do consider the busyness of your chosen location when
preparing for your meditation. Try to find a time when you
can walk unhurriedly and with minimal distraction.
Making your own labyrinth
If you can’t find a labyrinth near you, or you prefer to walk
or trace your journey in a place of your own choosing, then
creating your own labyrinth could be the best option. The
creative process of making it can serve as the ideal prelude,
allowing you to unwind as the winding pattern of your
labyrinth gradually reveals itself.
You might choose to construct a walking labyrinth in a
place that is special to you: at the foot of a hill or mountain,
the edge of a cliff, a quiet beach or in your own garden. The
labyrinth could even be inside, if you have the space. You can
draw the paths with chalk or mark them out with pebbles,
leaves, twinkling candles, swathes of fabric, sand, dirt or fallen
branches… the possibilities are endless.
A finger labyrinth can be a portable option, perhaps even
painted on a flat stone that can be carried in your bag or pocket,
68
so that you can readily slide your finger along its steady paths.
You can draw, paint or smudge your paths onto paper with
forgiving pastels. Or you may prefer to carve or mould them into
clay or wood. Raised paths allow you to close your eyes and sink
further into your other senses and the present moment.
You can achieve this effect by gluing string, wool, stones or
dry beans onto a piece of card or wood, or any suitable surface.
The labyrinth design
Whether you choose to make a walking labyrinth or one that
you can follow with your finger, the basic design is the same.
Every labyrinth begins with a ‘seed’, the basic pattern from
which the rest of the pattern will flow. This seed, with its
evolving pathways, is for the seven-path or Cretan labyrinth.
You can draw your paths with rounded corners, or you might
prefer to square them.
Top tip: Try to keep the width of your pathways consistent.
You can find more designs on the Labyrinth Society’s website.
Visit labyrinthsociety.org.
ILLUSTRATIONS: KOMAL PAHWA
Words: Kerry Dolan
Kerry is a hypnotherapist, NLP master practitioner and speaker,
specialising in women’s health and wellbeing. Find out more
about her work at wombservice.co.uk or follow her on Instagram
@kerry.wombservice.
 LABYRINTH MEDITATIONS
• Like a small pilgrimage, the mindful act of walking or gliding a inger through a labyrinth requires preparation.
This is not another thing in your day to get through. Allow time before entering the labyrinth to settle into
yourself. You could do this with a meditation or simply by focusing your full attention on your breath. Notice
where your breath enters and leaves your body, don’t try to alter it in any way, just observe for a few mindful
inhalations and exhalations.

• Before you enter, decide what you want from your experience. Perhaps you have something you’d like to let
go of, a burning question you’d like answered, a solution to a problem, some creative inspiration or simply
the peace that meditative practice can bring. Frame your intention clearly.

• Prepare to enter. Depending on your personal beliefs and practices, this could take any form: a prayer, a
moment of closing your eyes, smudging or anointing yourself, removing your shoes so that you can connect
with the earth, a bow or raising your arms to the sky.

• Enter the labyrinth. Your movements should be mindful and steady, often they will be slow and deliberate,
thereby slowing the mind and allowing you to move from thinking to heart and intuition. At times when
emotions are high, you may ind a faster pace allows you to release any pent-up emotion.

• The key is to have your mind and body in the same place, not rushing forward to the end of the labyrinth and
the tasks you need to do later, or relecting back on earlier issues. If you notice yourself doing this, gently try
to tug your attention back to the sensations of your step or the feel of your ingers as you trace the twining
trail. Release your intentions and immerse yourself in the experience.

• As you make your convoluted journey through the labyrinth, the babble of your mind begins to quieten,
mirroring the empty space at its centre. On arrival at the centre, allow yourself just to be. This is a pure void
in which to do absolutely nothing. When we inally yield to stillness and silence, we are often rewarded with
the purest of inspiration, profound wisdom or a moment of blissful serenity.

• Leaving the labyrinth is as important as entering. When you are ready, trace your path out as steadily and
mindfully as you entered. Accept with gratitude that which you have released and gained, and be receptive
to anything that may still arise.

• Before you cross the threshold of the labyrinth, pause to check in with yourself and your feelings. Do you feel
ready to re-enter the everyday world? Take a moment to think about how you might utilise what you have
gained from the experience.

69
 Then and now
Exploring the connection with the newborn self
It begins with a cord, a lifeline between mother and child that
provides oxygen, nutrients and a sense of everlasting unity. A
seemingly unwavering connection. After about nine months
of growth, however, this cord – the umbilical cord – is cut. Life
will never be the same again. And while the memories from this
time might fade, their signiicance can be carried through every
stage of a person’s development and existence.
The cutting of the umbilical cord is more than a medical
necessity. It also symbolises our individuality. This is the
moment when we become physically a separate human being
and take our irst, purely independent, breath – the irst cry
that kick-starts the lungs.
Does that newborn child ever truly leave us? Not according to
Thich Nhat Hanh, Buddhist monk and author of Fear: Essential
Wisdom for Getting Through the Storm. He believes that much
of the fear we experience in everyday life stems from that irst
moment as a separate person on Earth, that we revert to an
almost childlike state of supposed helplessness. From the fear
of being called to the headteacher’s oice to the terror of being
caught up in a life-threatening situation, there is, he says, an
intrinsic connection with this earlier self.
Is this necessarily always negative? Fear can, at times, be a
great tool in life and the driver that steers us towards safety.
Nevertheless, there are times when a feeling of helplessness
– boldly returning from infancy – can seem to take hold. It
70
seems to be able to overlook the fact that in most cases, and
to diferent levels, many new skills have been acquired since
childhood that enable a person to function in life. When
fear inds us in adulthood, we’re perhaps not as helpless as
we might think. But how can we remember that fact in the
moment when it strikes?
A conversation with your newborn self might hold the
key. Thich Nhat Hanh says: ‘As adults, we’re often afraid to
remember or be in touch with that original fear… because the
helpless child in us is still alive… we haven’t taken the time to
care for… the helpless child within.’ When experiencing fear,
no matter the circumstances, it can help to consider embracing
that newborn child. Tell them that although your parent,
guardian or another helper is no longer constantly watching
over you, your adult self now has – or with help can learn – the
tools to overcome this feeling. Be your own guardian and give
your newborn self a hug.
The physical umbilical cord may have gone, but a spiritual
tie between your former and present self prevails. Try to ind
and nurture it. And then, in time, other cords may emerge, ones
that connect you to the world – just as sunlight feeds the trees,
which then provide us with the oxygen we need from that irst
separate breath.
Words: Alex Bowers
 MEDITATION SUGGESTION
Meditation can help in the search for the newborn self. Thich Nhat Hanh first suggests trying to
channel that feeling of helplessness commonly found in fear. Other uncomfortable thoughts might
also emerge as part of the process. You can let them be if that feels okay, but you don’t have to
continue with the exercise. (Stop any time you need to and, if it helps, talk to someone about any
feelings or emotions you find troubling – see below.) Now, allow yourself to take on the newborn
persona. What might they say if they were able to talk?

Once you know what your newborn persona would say, it’s time to reassure that infant through the
prism of your present self. For this, Thich Nhat Hanh recommends that you: ‘…sit down with that
fearful child inside and be gentle with him or her. You might say something like this: “Dear little child,
I am your adult self. I would like to tell you that we are no longer a baby, helpless and vulnerable. We
have strong hands and strong feet, we can very well defend ourselves. So there is no reason why we
have to continue to be fearful any more.”’

Of course, there will be times when fear is inescapable. And that’s okay. This exercise isn’t about
eradicating fear. Rather, it’s more about knowing, understanding and loving that newborn self.
Embrace who you were and who you are. Therein lies the cord. If you can tackle the fear in such a
manner, do so. If not, just be there for your younger self. Promise you’ll visit again – whenever the
time is right.

Meditation practice is not a therapy and it might not offer the support needed to explore one’s thoughts
and feelings, in which case it might help to talk to a GP, counsellor or a trusted friend or relative with
whom you feel comfortable. Remember, too, that there’s no right or wrong way to meditate and that
some people will find it more beneficial than others.
ILLUSTRATION: VARVARA FOMINA

71
72
Second chances
Everyone makes mistakes, some can be rectified,
others not. But how do you know when to offer
– or accept – an opportunity to try again?

As a work-in-progress, in an imperfect world, everyone’s life

journey contains points when they mess up. It could be a
mistake at work that caused no end of problems for colleagues,
an unfiltered comment that hurt a friend, or a betrayal of trust
that turned a loved one’s life upside down.
When these things happen, it can seem unimaginable that
you’ll have an opportunity to put them right. But don’t give up
– on yourself or others. Quite often there’ll be a chance to try
again. If you’re fortunate enough to be given a second chance,
it’s possible you’ll harbour some anxiety about repeating
past mistakes or making new ones, especially if you keep
continuously replaying previous errors in your head. What’s
important is to be open with yourself and work positively
towards a better outcome.
Danielle Brooker is a London-based life coach and Meta
Dynamics™ practitioner. She works with people who are
struggling to make decisions that feel right for them. ‘I’m a
big believer that everyone is always doing the best they can in
the moment, with whatever knowledge and understanding
they have at that time,’ says Danielle, who conducts sessions
over the phone, Skype or in person. ‘Some days, you get things
really right, and other days you just don’t. There’s always an
opportunity for a fresh start.’
To take full advantage of a second chance, it helps to
understand what went wrong first time around and adjust
behaviour patterns to minimise repeating the experience. This
might mean adopting a new perspective, changing the way
you think, taking a different course of action or gaining extra
skills or knowledge. It can require emotional resolve to be more
understanding, trusting or open-minded, too. It’s a learning
process, where it can pay to go that extra mile.
Whether giving or accepting a second chance, it can help to
be compassionate and forgiving. Equally, acknowledging, say,

73
 a friend’s forgiveness with a genuine apology (where needed)
clears the air and allows both parties the opportunity to move
forward with more reassurance and courage.
Would you offer a second chance?
You could say that everyone deserves an opportunity to put
things right, to try again, but it might depend upon the nature
of the transgression. Also, some people can’t, or won’t, change
their ways. Other factors also come into play. Has the person
apologised or shown remorse? Have they made amends and
committed to making changes?
On the whole, most people learn from experience. They
recognise personal failings or errors and determine to change
their ways. For anyone uncertain about giving someone a
second chance, it’s worth remembering this. People can and
do change. Kelly Buckley is a North Carolina-based speaker,
teacher of gratitude and resilience, and the author of Gratitude
in Grief and Just One Little Thing. On her blog, kellybuckley.com,
she says: ‘A second chance extended to another person is also
a second chance for you. Don’t limit your potential by closing
your mind to the possibility of change. Your decision that
someone is not worthy of forgiveness is in fact a statement
saying you are not worthy of peace.’
When giving or accepting a second chance, welcome it with
open arms and an open heart. It might require a leap of faith
in yourself and others, but work at it, embrace the opportunity,
and focus on a happier and satisfying outcome for all involved.
Life coach Danielle offers these words: ‘I like to remind
myself that life is seasonal and we’re constantly growing and
evolving. What felt challenging yesterday may feel easy today.
In the same way, second chances may feel easier on some days
than others. What’s most important is that you start to tune in
to what feels best for you.’
Words: Carol Anne Strange
74
HOW TO MAKE THE MOST
OF A SECOND CHANCE
• What’s done is done. Acknowledge and
understand what went wrong the irst time
and learn from those lessons. See this as an
opportunity to grow.
• Open your heart. Feel compassion and, where
needed, forgive yourself and others.
• Address any shortfalls in your knowledge or skills
so you’re fully prepared for the second time.
• If you don’t feel deserving of a fresh chance, be
kind to yourself. If you’ve genuinely learnt from
the past and have taken action to make amends,
remind yourself that you are worthy.
• Be grateful for another opportunity to try again
but don’t let it weigh heavily on you. If you feel
like you’re faltering at any point, discuss it. Be
open and honest with yourself and others.
• Ask yourself how you can do better this time.
What can you do to make it more likely that
there’ll be a successful outcome?
• Accept that you can’t change what happened
last time but you can make a diference right
now. Be mindful of where you are in the moment,
and do your best.
 READY TO TRY AGAIN?
If you’re stuck in a frustrating loop with yourself and not sure how to move forward,
here’s Danielle’s three-point guide to giving or accepting a second chance

1. It’s important to know that
everyone sees situations through
their own lens of the world. How
could you try to consider things from
the other person’s perspective? Ask
yourself: ‘What could I be missing
or not seeing right now? If I believe
they’re doing the best they can, how
would that change things?’
ILLUSTRATIONS: NADIA SGARAMELLA
yourself: ‘What’s this really about?’
And, one of my favourite questions:
‘If I were to respond from a place of
love, what would that look like?’
3. Finally, check whether you’re
ofering this second chance for the
right reasons. This means knowing
yourself and your needs. What’s most
that you deserve this and you’re
worthy? Also, if this is a fresh start
that’s been granted, what’s the big
lesson you’re taking away and how will
you do things diferently this time?
To find out more about Danielle’s
philosophy, visit thedaisypatch.co.uk.

important to you? Are you worried

2. The brain is wired to keep us safe.
This means that a lot of the time
people react from a place of fear and
worry without realising it. Deep down,
they’re thinking: ‘What if I mess this
up? What will they think of me? What
if I fail?’ To get out of this cycle, ask
about what others will think or
are you doing this because it really
matters to you? If you’re trapped in
that worry, or feeling like it’s a burden,
then you might be stuck in your own
fears. What is it you’re most afraid of?
What could you do to remind yourself

75
 Smooth out the tension
How ironing can become less of a chore and more of an opportunity to relax
My irst ever job involved ironing. Like many teenagers, I longed
to be more independent and earn my own money, so before I
was old enough to babysit or work at the local football-club café,
I would iron my parents’ clothes in exchange for pocket money.
On Sunday evenings, I’d set up in front of the TV and work my
way through the piles of clothes, prepping them for the week
ahead. I found the process of smoothing out the fabric rather
relaxing and got a sense of satisfaction from seeing a line of
crease-free shirts hanging in front of me.
Once I had my proper Saturday job in place, I gave up the
pocket-money ironing and, in fact, ironing altogether. Having
always worked in creative jobs, I’ve rarely needed a uniform
of crisp suits, and for the most part of my 20s, I didn’t really
care about a few crinkles. Over the past few years, however,
my thoughts on this have changed. I’ve discovered a newfound
appreciation for organisation, and ind that order in a physical
space also beneits my mental one. From being a loordrobe fan
(yes, that’s clothes all over the loor) and chair devotee (a storage
system for the overlow of items too clean for the laundry but
too dirty to put back in the wardrobe), I’ve become someone
who prides themselves on Marie Kondo’d drawers.
Looking after my belongings is now, well, important. While
organisation is crucial, caring for individual items – whether
that’s by washing them carefully or ironing – is imperative, too.
Beyond that, I’ve noticed the process of ironing brings its own
76
beneits. Enjoying might not be the right word, but it’s certainly
relaxing. And focusing on one task for 15 or 30 minutes can feel
calming when so much work feels like litting between tasks
and jumping between the multiple tabs open in my brain.
I would even argue that life admin is the real meaning of self-
care. Forget extravagant spa days or expensive candles, looking
after yourself by being organised instils a level of self-respect.
There’s a tendency among some to want to outsource many
domestic tasks (with some apps you can arrange for unironed
clothes to be collected and then returned home, crease-free),
but you overlook or underestimate these jobs at your peril.
Breathing space
When I put a call-out on social media about ironing, I was
overwhelmed by the response from my fellow ironing fans:
‘It’s simple, mindless, has fabulous results and lets my brain
meander whilst my hands are busy,’ one woman told me. ‘I work
full-time and commute long hours, but I still make time for
ironing. It always feels like a small luxury, plus a bit of a victory
that I managed to get it done,’ another commented. ‘I ind the
act of ironing an easy mindful activity and a good way to switch
of from work and brain overload. You just focus on the seams,
creases and water top-ups,’ someone else concurred.
One woman also told me how she’s found ironing helpful
in dealing with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD): ‘I use

ironing as a grounding technique for my PTSD. Doing
something to move your body is a good way to disperse the
trauma energy in lashbacks, but often I’m too anxious and
triggered to go for a walk. Instead, I iron. Something about the
gentle repetitive movements and quiet sense of achievement,
with no pressure or fear of making a mistake, really helps.’
Beyond appreciating its therapeutic beneits, others waxed
lyrical about the fact that ironing can be done while watching
TV, listening to live radio or catching up on a podcast. Some
even use the time to practise language skills (see page 38)
or phone friends and family. There are others who take their
ironing outdoors when the weather’s nice, and happily smooth
out the creases while simultaneously catching some sun.
From a nostalgic perspective, it seems that ironing holds a
special place in many a heart: ‘I have childhood memories of
my mum ironing while I’d sit and discuss the challenges of my
life with her,’ one woman shared. ‘My grandma taught me how
ILLUSTRATION: LOU BAKER SMITH
to iron when I was young, and doing so now always transports
me back to her house, ironing tea towels in front of the TV,’
another remembered.
Whether it’s the pleasure in crisp clothes, a mindful break in
a busy day or a chance to catch up on the week’s entertainment,
ironing doesn’t seem to be going out of fashion any time soon.
Words: Elizabeth Bennett
INSPIRING PODCASTS TO
ENJOY WHILE IRONING
Cofee Break Languages
Learn French, Spanish, Italian or German with this
series of interactive podcasts. Suitable for beginners
and those looking to brush up on their skills, this
conversation-based learning is practical and fun.
BBC Radio 3 Classical Fix
Enter the world of classical music with broadcaster
and violinist Clemmie Burton-Hill. She curates
bespoke playlists for her guests to discover.
BBC Radio 4 Book Club
Dive into the BBC archive and hear your favourite
authors discuss their works with readers.
Happy Place
Listen to Fearne Cotton, and guests such as Stephen
Fry and Ruby Wax, discuss happiness and wellbeing.
The Intelligence
Catch up on current affairs with this daily bite-sized
podcast from The Economist. It breaks down the
topics of the day with expert insight and comment.
77
 CREATIVITY

‘I used to find it hard to start… The first thing you write down won’t bear any
relation to what’s in your head and that’s always disappointing’
Victoria Wood
 The art of friendship
From sketching to sculpture and painting to poetry, creating art can be a lonely game.
But when two artists really connect, sparks often fly and lifelong bonds are formed
When Elizabeth Taylor irst met David Bowie in Beverly
Hills in 1975, the world lapped up the encounter. He had
kept the doyenne of Hollywood waiting for two hours
but despite not being too happy about the Thin White
Duke’s timekeeping, they presented a display of
friendship that many have loved to look at since, thanks
to photographer Terry O’Neill. The pair embraced for
the camera, Elizabeth wore David’s hat, put her
cigarette in his mouth and created a moment that
perfectly epitomises the connection between creatives.
But under the surface of these notable friendships,
whether they’re as leeting as the Hollywood ilm star
and musician or of the enduring pen-pal variety of
iconic Renaissance artists Raphael and Dürer, there is
a reason for their existence. For all artists, infamous,
iconic or lesser known, friendships are important.
Lone creator
‘Friendship is incredibly beneicial to our mental
health, it helps you feel a sense of belonging in the
world, it helps with self-esteem, giving you a positive
sense of self,’ says Simone Bose, counsellor at the
relationship support charity Relate.
Creatives tend to work alone. Art is often a solitary
pursuit. Whether you’re a painter, a writer or a musician,
there’s a good chance you will spend much of your
working life on your own. This can be detrimental for
mental health, says Simone. ‘To an extent, time alone
can be brilliant for creativity, you can express yourself
more freely without interruption or feeling self-
conscious and concentration is stronger. However,
80
there is a balance and when it becomes a situation
where we are not connecting with people for a long
period of time, this can be unhealthy mentally.’
It’s something artist Ana Leovy knows only too
well. ‘Being a freelance artist working from home can
be pretty isolating.’
Natural interaction
The human connection ofered in friendship can help
bring solace to those feelings of loneliness, however,
says Ana. ‘Talking to my friends makes my day way
better. Most of them are not even in the same time
zone as me, but we try having long FaceTime chats so
it feels like we are connected every week.’
Studies have shown that human connection is vital
to good mental health. As Simone explains: ‘We are
biologically geared to survive better with human
connection.’ Indeed, communication is built into
human DNA, most people naturally interact and
share thoughts and feelings, so the act of having to
continually create alone can be quite trying.
Creative courage
This is where friendships between artists have been
found to be beneicial. Creative duo Liv and Dom, who
also happen to be twins, know a thing or two about
collaboration. They created together all through
childhood, whether it was sculpting clay rabbits,
crafting miniature books or sewing clothes for their
Beanie Babies. But it was their shift into creative life as
adults that helped them to realise the importance of
81
 ‘Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to
another: “What! You too? I thought I was the only one”’
CS LEWIS
their friendship. ‘At uni, when we were struggling to
break through some artistic blocks, we decided to team
up again,’ says Dom.
Through their friendship, they have created a brand
– also called Liv & Dom – that oozes the joy that
characterises their relationship. ‘I hope people get from
our work that we genuinely have a good time doing it
and working with your best friend is a huge part of
that,’ says Dom.
Perhaps this is at the heart of why many artists are
naturally drawn to each other. They ind common
ground, they inspire each other and they can also ind
a safe place to explore their ideas.
Finding your tribe
History has shown that artists can feel like outsiders,
and friendship has often been seen to provide
acceptance. Friendships between artists have even
encouraged movements that have gone against the
grain in the art world.
Whether it’s a major art movement or a team of
fellow creatives, feeling like you belong to a particular
tribe of like-minded individuals can be a great place
to be as an artist. Fashion illustrator and artist Frida
Wannerberger relates to this. ‘With my friends in the
industry I feel we are a part of a movement, and that
is extremely exciting. The energy and inluences we
pick up from each other are always brewing in the
background when I think about my work.’
This source of continual inspiration is never a bad
thing for creativity, says Frida. ‘The everyday life
observations I share and experience with my friends
feed into my work constantly. A lot of my work is based
on relections, observations and narratives. Friends
contribute to these all the time.’
82
Modern art friends
Artists in the 20th century might typically have shared
studio space, creating alongside each other, but what
about the artistic space in the modern world? The age
of social media has deinitely changed the landscape,
something designer Ruthie Cawley quickly noticed
after setting up her brand Cawligraphy and inding her
‘work wife’ via her Instagram feed. It was designer
Laura Butlin-Policarpo of Paper By Her, and for Ruth,
‘it was love at irst stalk of the Instagram grid.
Aesthetically and design wise I was in love.’
As well as connecting over their love for each other’s
work, Laura and Ruth bonded over their positions in
business, another aspect of friendship that can help
during the creative journey. ‘We were in a similar
position – our irst year of business,’ says Laura. ‘We
had so much in common and we were able to support
one another in our creative work and personal lives.’
PHOTOGRAPHS: GETTY.COM. ADDITIONAL IMAGES: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM
Shared understanding
Empathy is one of the key aspects of any friendship,
and it works when you both have a similar goal in
mind. ‘I think I talk to Laura more than my own family,
who live in the same house [as me],’ says Ruth. ‘I can say
anything and she knows where I’m coming from,
without having to explain the context. It’s encouraging
knowing that I’m not alone and that someone else is
going through the same things.’
Whether it’s about the chance to escape, the chance
to laugh, cry, share frustrations or just create, Greek
philosopher Aristotle couldn’t have put it any better:
‘In poverty and other misfortunes of life, true friends
are a sure refuge.’
Words: Laura Gabrielle Feasey

Lucian Freud and Francis Bacon
Drinking, gambling and arguing
were said to be the cornerstones of
an inseparable friendship between
artists Lucian and Francis. They could
often be found in Soho’s Gargoyle
Club, where the latter was known to
shout ‘Champagne for my real friends
– real pain for my sham friends!’ They
worked together almost every day,
creating one of the most notorious
friendships in modern art, although,
like many artist alliances, they did
part ways in anger.
Jean-Michel Basquiat
and Andy Warhol
New York in the 1980s and the art
scene was an experimental melting
pot – a time known for its parties,
art dealings and commerce, and an
unexpected friendship between Andy
and Jean-Michel. They ate breakfast
ART FRIENDSHIP ICONS
together, partied together and
worked together, although Andy did
once say this of their collaborations:
‘[Jean-Michel] came up and painted
over a painting that I did, and I don’t
know if it got better or not.’
George Harrison and Ravi Shankar
(pictured above)
Beatles’ guitarist George formed
an instant bond with Indian music
maestro Ravi when the pair met
in London in the mid-1960s. Their
kinship saw Ravi agree to teach
George the sitar, a sound the latter
was keen for his band to incorporate.
The pair, who were said to share a
‘karmic connection’, collaborated on
many projects.
Vincent van Gogh and Paul Gauguin
One of the art world’s most famous
and tempestuous friendships, the
impressionist painters were said to
have had a love-hate relationship.
Most of us know that Vincent
chopped of his own ear, thought to
be because of a row between the
two, but a recent theory claimed Paul
actually did the chopping. All that
aside, they continued to write to each
other until van Gogh’s death.
JRR Tolkien and CS Lewis
A chance meeting and a long walk
in Oxford would change everything
for these two fantasy-literature
heavyweights. The writers talked
about religion and myth as they
strolled, it led CS Lewis back to a
previously broken faith and inspired
the creation of The Chronicles of
Narnia. The conversation also
prompted Tolkien to create The Lord
of the Rings. They fell out later on,
but still praised each other from afar.
 Happy days
From the old-school classics to contemporary greats, situation comedies – or sitcoms – provide
joyous escape and entertainment. Here, we explore how to get started on your very own story
and create characters that will bring lightness to some of life’s most trying moments

Put your pen down and put your feet up. The irst step to
writing a sitcom is to turn on the TV. Indulge yourself in as
many diferent comedies as you can – explore diferent styles,
diferent characters and diferent plots.
From enduring faithfuls such as Friends to mockumentaries
like The Oice, immerse yourself in laughs and enjoy exploring
why they work and what makes them funny. Think about
whether you’re a fan of the straightforward gags and slapstick
nature of classics such as the shop-based Open All Hours or you
prefer the nuanced and often moving Back to Life, where the
central character is a woman who after a long stint in prison
returns to live in the small town in which she grew up.
Write what you know
It’s also worth watching a few sitcoms you’re not so fond of.
Think about why you don’t like them. Perhaps you can’t identify
with the characters or you prefer a situation that is more, or less,
realistic. You’ll ind the world of the sitcom is rich and diverse.
If you have the stomach for it, you could consider stand-up
comedy, too, as a way to prepare yourself for writing a sitcom
(see Breathe, issue 20). Some of the greatest-ever comedy
characters started life as stage shows or stand-up sketches.
Fleabag, for example, was Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s one-hour,
one-woman show; Catastrophe co-creator Rob Delaney is a
seasoned stand-up comic; and Spaced creators Simon Pegg
and Jessica Hynes were both doing stand-up before they wrote
their show. Simon has even described his life back then as
being akin to that of his Spaced character Tim.
In fact, it is often better to write what you know. Take, for
instance, John Cleese, who was inspired to co-write Fawlty
Towers after a stay at a seaside hotel in Torquay, Devon, where
he received a frosty reception from proprietors Donald and
Beatrice Sinclair. The Sinclairs became the templates for Basil
and Sybil Fawlty, played by John and co-writer Connie Booth.
The former once described Donald as ‘the most wonderfully
rude man I have ever met’.

84
Get to know your characters
This neatly leads on to characterisation and the BBC Writers
Room ofers some sage advice here: ‘When planning a new
idea, the characters should come irst and if they are the right
characters they will arrive with their world attached.’ This
means going deeper than just a name and a job title. Give your
characters a whole life – an entire world. You should ask
yourself everything from ‘what car do they drive?’ and ‘what’s
in their fridge?’ to ‘do they get on with their siblings?’
Creating a well-rounded character will help you to assess
what decisions they would make at any point in time, how
they would go about something and what attitude they might
have in a certain situation. This will be vital when it comes
to writing a script.
Comedy writer and comedian Adrian Poynton says in a BBC
blog that the characters who stand the test of time are the ones
‘we all know’. For instance, we’ve all met a Basil Fawlty or a
David Brent and many people have discussed which member
of the Friends cast they’re most like. Adrian, who wrote BBC3’s
White Van Man, even says the character of Tony in his show
is based on his own father.
Finding the funny
Reece Shearsmith, one of the creators of The League of
Gentlemen, told The Independent newspaper that it’s important
to let the audience in on what is supposed to be funny as soon
as possible, so they have longer to enjoy the joke. This doesn’t
have to come from words, either, and some of the greatest
comedies exploit movement and timing to create the laughs.
It’s worth analysing one of your favourite shows (mine is
Frasier) to get a better idea of why it works so well and where
the laughs come from.
In the comedy podcast Rule of Three, writer, comedian
and actor Miles Jupp discusses the magic of Frasier and the
relationship between the characters. The spinof from Cheers,
he says, was originally meant to be what he calls a ‘precinct
sitcom’ – set in only one place – at the radio station where
Frasier works. But it blossomed into a much bigger project,
taking in Frasier’s home life, family and relationships.
While Frasier makes use of well-worn comedic devices,
such as the obvious class divide between the Crane brothers
and characters such as Daphne Moon and ‘Bulldog’ Briscoe,
their connections are nuanced and afectionate.
Miles describes the relationship of Frasier and his brother
Niles as resembling a bickering husband and wife, rather than
merely siblings. Roz Doyle, meanwhile, is akin to a sister,
while Frasier’s father, Martin, provides a helpful device for the
audience. He’s a normal guy and, like us, an observer of the
brothers’ often ludicrous antics. What Martin does is give the
viewer leave to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. Though
it’s worth noting, too, that Martin is also the butt of many
jokes, usually because he has taken the ‘normal guy’ element
to the extreme.
The other great character in Frasier is one we never see:
Niles’ irst wife, Maris. Throughout the multiple seasons, the
character gains legendary status – via several humorous and
vivid descriptions – to the point where the writers apparently
decided they could never cast a person into the role as the actor
would never live up to viewers’ expectations.
The concept of the unseen character has cropped up in a
few sitcoms, including Cheers in the form of Norm Peterson’s
wife Vera, who is sometimes heard but her face is never seen.
While this is a good gag for casual viewers, it’s also a reward
for long-time fans, who feel as though they’re in on the joke
with the writers.
One of the presenters of the Rule of Three podcast makes
an interesting point about the characters in Frasier. First, he
confesses he had never seen the show before Miles picked an
episode from a later season for discussion on the podcast.
Then he says: ‘I knew exactly who everyone was. It’s crystal
clear to the irst-time viewer. I could tell exactly what the
relationships were.’
85
 It’s not all laughs
The power of pathos is also an important element to bear in
mind. The sitcom’s ability to pull you up short, often amid
laughter, and offer an unsentimental insight into a character’s
inner angst, is part of the format’s magic. Take the classic
Steptoe and Son, where the cantankerous old rag-and-bone man
father continuously thwarts his socialist son Harold’s attempts
to live a new life, to find romance, to enjoy ‘fine wines’. Both
men, however, appear trapped in this dysfunctional setting
and relationship and the laughs are often infused with
resentment and bitterness.
A sitcom also has the power to find humour in the saddest
of moments. The death of the exquisitely written and observed
character of Nana in The Royle Family left few fans dry-eyed, but
the episode wasn’t without laughter. And the jolt of reality – the
loss of a much-loved character – ultimately brings us even closer
to our on-screen heroes.
Structure
Characters established and funniness found, it’s time to think
about writing. The poet Philip Larkin once said that a good
story needs ‘a beginning, a muddle and an end’. That muddle is
where the magic happens. Before settling in to write an actual
episode, jot down an overall storyline, noting what you expect
to happen in each episode and then in each scene. ‘Each scene
86
should be a mini-drama in itself, and should move the story or
subplot forward,’ says the BBC.
When it comes to tackling an episode, remember each one
usually contains three acts as well as a main plot and one or two
subplots. The first act, as you might imagine, sets the scene and
should introduce your main plot and, to a lesser extent, the
subplot. The main character usually sets out either a problem
they need to solve or a mission they would like to accomplish.
Open every scene with a description of the setting and, if
applicable, the character’s mood.
The ‘muddle’ comes in the second act, where attempts to
solve a problem or accomplish a mission go awry. This is a good
place to develop your secondary characters as well as the
subplots. If you have done stand-up comedy, this is also where
your ‘left turn’ comes in – meaning to take the story in an
unexpected direction in an effort to keep the audience engaged
and onboard for the rest of the current episode and, ideally,
into the following one.
THIELKER
SARA THIELKER
The final act involves the main character either solving their
problems or failing spectacularly to achieve their goals. Either
ILLUSTRATIONS: SARA
way, there should be some kind of a resolution.
ILLUSTRATIONS:
That is, of course, until the character starts the process all
over again in the next episode.
Words: Lucy Britner
THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX
Sitcoms come in many guises, settings and groupings. If you’re looking for inspiration as to where you might set yours,
think about what you know, where you live, where you went to school, countries you’ve visited and any incidents
that resonated, which, as we’ve seen, was fertile ground for John Cleese when creating Fawlty Towers. Among
the many great sitcoms that have graced our screens, here are just a few that might spark inspiration

Father Ted – the group here is three Irish
priests and their housekeeper while the
setting is a somewhat rundown, remote
house on Craggy Island. Central to the
humour is the eponymous Father Ted
whose ambitions to ‘get a better parish’
are continually thwarted by the impossibly
childlike Father Dougal, hard-drinking
Father Jack and tea-ixated Mrs Doyle.
I’m Alan Partridge – less a group, more
one cringe-inducing man and his long-
sufering (but still adoring) assistant Lynn.
A DJ from a bygone age, Partridge is both
tactless and artless. The world has moved
on without him, allowing for laugher and
occasional (and brilliant) moments of
painful self-awareness.
Desmond’s – the setting here, a barber
shop in south-east London, provides
the focal point for a wider set of people,
the community of Peckham, to bond
(and bicker) as one bigger family.
Desmond’s inability to cut and style hair
failed to deter his customers, who happily
returned to his old-fashioned chair and
shop to listen to his dreams of retiring
back home to Guyana.
The IT Crowd – proof that humour
can be found in the most unexpected
places, what looks like a dusty basement
in a glitzy oice block, and mined from
the unlikeliest subjects, Information
Technology. Central again are carefully
observed characters that invite and then
challenge stereotypes, the IT-illiterate
manager Jen, her polar opposite Moss
and the less-than-engaged Roy.
Scrubs – medical settings ofer endless
opportunities for hilarity and pathos,
witness, M*A*S*H, Only When I Laugh,
Green Wing, Nurse Jackie and Getting On
to name a few. And the humour comes
from both sides, patient and practitioner.
Scrubs, set in an American teaching
hospital, focused on the trials of its interns
and newly qualiied employees, but added
fast-paced slapstick and the surreal
daydreams of central character, JD.
The Golden Girls – like hospitals, the
shared house afords the opportunity to
explore diferent expectations, prejudice,
unrequited love, friendship and regret.
And latmates come in all shapes, guises
and ages. Here, four older women – an
often overlooked group on TV – share
a Miami house and show that age is
no barrier to ambition, competition or
(less surprisingly) humiliation.
Words: Catherine Kielthy

87
 Open book
Memoirs are personal reflections and observations that can entertain and enlighten, as well as
resonate on a profound level. They provide an opportunity for a writer to communicate with
readers in a direct and authentic way. And they can shed light on a particular individual or
moment in time, while speaking to the power of shared experience

Dabbing at my eyes with my pyjama sleeve, I put my book on
the bedside table. It’s Sue Perkins’ Spectacles – the comedian,
presenter and writer’s 2015 memoir – and it’s proved to be
an absolute gem of the genre. Despite never having met Sue,
I’ve found myself sniling through her heartbreak, sobbing
through her loss and weeping with laughter at all the right
moments. Finishing it feels like saying farewell to a friend after
a particularly lovely and unexpected stay, and I wouldn’t have
it any other way. Part soap opera, part philosophical treatise,
part history lesson, part chinwag, a great memoir can be both
informative and transformative.
It’s impossible to pinpoint the moment that I fell in love
with memoirs, but I do know that one of the irst examples
I came across was Boy, by Roald Dahl. I’d already worked my
way through his children’s stories by then and probably took
Boy home as a sort of next-best-choice. Like many people,
I suspected that an autobiography couldn’t be as exciting as
a work of iction – that, without Roald’s fanciful giants and
snozzcumbers, his memoir might be lacking in adventure.
Of course, this wasn’t the case. Why? Two reasons. The author
himself makes for exciting subject matter and there’s something
immediately endearing about a story when you realise the
protagonist has consciously chosen to share it with you,
the reader. Yet memoirs are perceived by some to be dry,
dismal and self-involved.
In his essay, The Critic as Artist, Oscar Wilde addressed this
belief. His characters, Gilbert and Ernest, discuss the genre,
with Ernest declaring that memoirs are ‘generally written
by people who have either entirely lost their memories, or
have never done anything worth remembering’ and Gilbert
retorting that, on the contrary, people are only ever really
interesting when they’re talking about themselves. While the
passage is full of characteristic lourish, it has a deinite ring
of truth. Certainly, during the 19th and into the 20th century,
memoirs did tend to be the preserve of retired clergymen and
ageing politicians, gently jotting down their achievements and
cataloguing their notable encounters.
Opportunity for understanding
Of course, there isn’t necessarily anything wrong with that.
This style of work provided (as it still does) a glimpse into
an exclusive lifestyle. The fashion for introspection and

88
psychological analysis had not yet taken hold and, on the rare
occasions an author disclosed something genuinely secret or
socially unacceptable, the entire volume tended to be couched
in religious terms – think Saint Augustine or Jean-Jacques
Rousseau, both of whom wrote autobiographical confessions.
It was arguably the two world wars that began to change the
nature of memoirs and the potential relationship they could
create between author and reader. While previous conlicts
had generated diaries, letters and memoirs, the late 1940s
saw a lood of war memoirs, published as people across the
globe grappled with the horror of death and destruction on
a devastating scale. Books like Primo Levi’s If This Is a Man
exposed the public to the raw, personal experiences that lay
behind the headlines and, in doing so, helped readers come to
understand more fully their own despair at what had happened.
The stark intimacy of the irst-person narrative means
memoirs can be potent educational tools. Authors have
historically used the medium to great efect, communicating
directly and profoundly to a sometimes unsuspecting audience.
Maya Angelou’s 1969 classic, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings,
tells of the oppression and racism she faced as a young black girl
growing up in mid-20th-century America. The work remained
on the New York Times bestseller list for two years following
its publication, but to this day its subject matter continues to
be regarded in some circles as controversial and it remains
banned in some US schools.
Historical context
Later in the 20th century, there was another subtle shift in
emphasis as, from the 1990s onwards, the genre expanded
exponentially. Increased interest in genealogy and popular
psychology fuelled a desire to understand oneself in relation
to one’s past and, by extension, other people’s pasts. Shelves
were illed with the accounts of people from all walks of life
and of all ages.
‘Something happened when the memoirs of so-called
ordinary people, like myself, suddenly hit the bestseller list,’
Frank McCourt is recorded as saying. When his book, Angela’s
Ashes, was irst published in 1996, it was groundbreaking. His
candid account of a inancially impoverished childhood in
Ireland went on to win the 1997 Pulitzer Prize for Biography or
Autobiography. Increasingly, memoir became a way of placing
89

oneself in a semi-historical context – a product of struggle
and triumph, of having survived something terrible and come
good. It’s a narrative that has often proved more popular with
readers and publishers than with an author’s friends and
relatives – despite the success of Angela’s Ashes, Frank’s family
publicly suggested he had been economical with the truth, an
accusation that has also been directed at other authors who
populate the genre.
But is strict adherence to the truth necessary? Some artistic
licence is probably to be expected – it might even be one of the
genre’s great advantages. While facts, igures and chronology
can be saved for strict autobiography, memoirs are free to hop
around between moments of importance, explaining how
things seemed or felt, rather than how they objectively were. It’s
perhaps because of this that their authors are able to speak so
freely and select snapshots of their life, ones that often provoke
sympathetic responses and might relect or suit the reader’s
current frame of mind or life stage.
Moment in time
Award-winning memoirist Diana Athill wrote several volumes
– the irst published when she was in her 40s and the last when
she was in her 90s. Each concentrated on a particular theme or
period, carving a lifetime into segments. ‘I write to get to the
bottom of things’, she once said (and, of course, many people
read for the same reason). Whether she was recording her
recollections of a career as an editor, or writing, in the third
person, of her miscarriage at 43, her tone remained pragmatic
and forthright. As much as the memoir preserves the past, it
also acknowledges the transitory nature of experience and
90
MAGIC MEMOIRS
Such Stuff – Michael Morpurgo
A beautifully presented memoir exploring the
events that inspired some of the former Children’s
Laureate’s well-known stories.
Wait For Me! – Deborah Devonshire
Written at the age of 90, this is a fabulous book full
of entertaining tales and well-known names. It’s
a wonderful insight into the life of the youngest
Mitford sister, later the Duchess of Devonshire.
Geisha, A Life – Mineko Iwasaki
An account by the real-life inspiration for Arthur
Golden’s novel, Memoirs of a Geisha, ofering an
insight into the roles of fact and iction in memoir.
reminds readers that there is no new emotion. As the old adage
says: for better or worse, ‘this too shall pass’.
While any book concerned with a person’s history is bound
to speak of another time, the demand for certain types of
stories often relects the concerns of the moment. Becoming, by
Michelle Obama, sold more copies in the US in 2018 than any
other book, breaking sales records within 15 days, an incredible
achievement for a memoirist. The work, which went on to be an
international bestseller, is both intensely personal and political.
By sharing with sincerity her private recollections, the former
First Lady tapped into current concerns, added her own voice to
a movement and inspired others to take up causes and pursue
their own ambitions.
A memoir needn’t, however, speak to an entire generation
to be deemed a success. The magical thing about this genre is
that it only needs to speak to one person at one time. While
early examples concentrated on the outstanding aspects of a
person’s life, some of the most touching memoirs are those that
express the similarities shared across humanity. No matter
how diferent I might have initially perceived an author to be
from myself, for instance, or how dissimilar our situations or
backgrounds, there can come a moment when I say, ‘Yes, me
ILLUSTRATIONS: AGNESE BICOCCHI
too’. It might be said through sighs or giggles or, sometimes, as
in the case of Spectacles – both. When you begin to see memoirs
as accounts of unknown allies, they have the power to change
outlook. They are, at heart, messages of solidarity from people
generous enough to share their experiences and remind us that,
come what may, we are all in it together.
Words: Victoria Pickett
 Breathe special

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 Muddied emotions
Turning dirt from your garden or local park into an emotionally evocative piece of art
seems an unlikely prospect, but that’s exactly what Bruce Gardner does when practising
the Japanese phenomenon of hikaru dorodango

Mud: it has a dirty reputation. Children love it – splashing in

it, sliding in it, making mud pies from it, rebelliously creating
a mess, all while covering themselves and their homes in it.
Adults mostly loathe it and see it as something to avoid and get
rid of. But, with the art of hikaru dorodango, you don’t have to
wash away mud and forget about it.
From the Japanese word ‘doro’, meaning mud, and ‘dango’, a
type of dumpling or lour cake, dorodango is the art of creating
unique mud balls by hand. The spheres are dried and polished
to a lustre – ‘hikaru’, which means shining.
The origins of dorodango are a mystery, but it’s been a
childhood pastime and hobby in Japan for a long time. The
unusual art form soared in popularity after Professor Fumio
Kayo of the Kyoto University of Education used it to observe
the nature of play in school children in 1999. He found that
children would put a lot of efort into shaping and polishing
their mud balls and even became attached to them. Professor
Kayo then created a simple method for dorodango to introduce

92
to the rest of the world. One person who became intrigued by
the art form is artist Bruce Gardner, who irst heard about it in
2002 and has been crafting mud balls ever since.
‘For me, it seemed like the concept of hikaru dorodango fell
through a rift in time-space,’ he says. ‘I simply couldn’t believe
that I hadn’t heard of it before. It was profoundly appealing.
With dorodango, I found an elemental art form where process
and technique would become the art itself. There is nothing
extraneous, no waste. It was immediately liberating. No trees
would be killed, no chemicals used, no clean canvases ruined.’
The process of dorodango involves several stages – creating
the mud with dirt and water, moulding the spherical core,
adding the next layer (the capsule), then the outer shell. After
this comes the drying and polishing. All in all, it can take days.
‘Each stage has a way of grabbing your attention,’ says Bruce.
‘I love settling into the work with a cup of tea and getting lost
in the process of creation. For something that only has three
elements, the art of hikaru dorodango is surprisingly complex
and challenging. And it’s all the more rewarding because of that. a bank, the inield dirt from a beloved baseball stadium that’s
‘The work itself is calming and rewarding, almost like been demolished, or dirt gathered by a marine while serving in
meditation. Having a few pieces in my favourite stages – capsule Afghanistan,’ he says. ‘A connection to the earth is something
and shell – feels like money in the bank. It’s always something we all feel and appreciate.’
to look forward to at the end of the day. While I’m working, Bruce’s own most memorable work came from pieces he
hours can slip by without me realising it.’ felt were ruined. ‘Several years ago I created three pieces from
Bruce, who creates his art in his studio in Albuquerque, a sample of Albuquerque soil,’ he says. ‘All three formed tiny
New Mexico, is hoping to share the art form with the wider hairline cracks in the shell as I was drying them. So I put them
community. He’s written a book, Dorodango: The Japanese Art of on my “seconds shelf” and forgot about them.
Making Mud Balls, which describes and illustrates the processes ‘A year or two later, I noticed all three had oxidised to a
in detail, and he runs workshops where people can get hands- beautiful, smoky patina. The tiny cracks, however, retained the
on experience. One of the joys of the latter for Bruce is seeing original soil colour and stood out in stark relief, similar to raku
people’s reactions to the unique art form. crazing [a pattern created by a traditional Japanese clay-iring
‘There is a wonderful transition that happens in the early process]. These pieces are special because there was a sort of
stages of creating a dorodango: a mud ball becomes something aesthetic awakening that occurred with them. It was a point
you care about,’ he says. ‘It happens after you’ve worked the where I better understood the Japanese concept of wabi-sabi:
core for a bit and the capsule begins to form. At that point, the the beauty of things imperfect, impermanent and incomplete.’
sphere starts transforming rapidly in your hands – minute to Bruce continues to look for fresh challenges, new soils and
minute. It takes on a personality of its own that’s impossible to diferent looks, and always has a shovel and sandbags in his car,
miss. It’s not mud or dirt any more, it’s an art medium and an just in case he spots some unusual dirt. It’s an art form anyone
art object. That’s precisely the point at which a simple mud ball can try, he says.
becomes a dorodango. It’s fascinating to watch that realisation ‘Start in your own backyard,’ he advises. ‘Four pounds of dirt
occur almost simultaneously throughout a group.’ is plenty to get started. If you live in a city, where dirt may not
It’s clear that creating a dorodango can be an emotional be at hand, ind a park or the shoulder of a road. Be patient and
experience that carries personal signiicance. Bruce hears many enjoy the process. Dorodango can be challenging at irst, but
amazing stories from dorodango makers across the globe. the process is always relaxing and rewarding.’
‘In every case, the dirt itself is signiicant or precious to them
for a particular reason – soil from a family farm that was lost to Turn the page for a step-by-step guide to dorodango

93
 DORODANGO: THE BASICS

You will need: STAGE 1 Create the mud

In a clean container, add soil to water. Mix slowly until the
Dirt/soil, water, more dirt (dry), smooth fabric, time, patience consistency is like cookie dough.

STAGE 2 Mould the core

Shape a handful of your mud into a sphere, around four inches in
diameter, squeezing out as much water as you can and working
out any irregularities, until it’s tacky to touch.

STAGE 3 Form the capsule

Holding the ball in one hand, sprinkle some dry dirt evenly over
the ball. Gently sweep away any excess, rotating the ball as you
do so, and then repeat until a new layer is formed. This can take
a day or more to complete.

Bruce explains: ‘The clay particles from the dirt stick to the surface,
while others fall away. Over time, this clay builds up on the surface,
forming a new layer, which I call the “capsule”. Since this layer is
typically richer in clay than the underlying mud-ball core, it tends
to shrink more and, as it does, makes the dorodango rounder.’

94
 STAGE 4 Build the shell
Pat ine particles of dirt dust on to the surface. Keep returning
to add particles, until none stick. This can also take a few days,
until the moisture from the ball has completely evaporated. Some
methods advise regularly putting the ball into a plastic bag for a
short period of time to draw the water out, before adding more
of the tiny particles.

Bruce explains: ‘Eventually, the surface of the dorodango will reach

a point where new particles no longer stick to the surface. This could
be because of water evaporation or, ideally, because the surface has
become so smooth that there isn’t any “tooth” for the new particles
to find a home.’

STAGE 5 Polish it
At this point, the dorodango is ready to be gently polished to
make it shine. Bruce uses silk or a smooth fabric. Be careful if it’s
still drying. Take your time, be patient and eventually you’ll have
a shiny dorodango. For a more detailed guide, Bruce Gardner’s book, Dorodango:
The Japanese Art of Making Mud Balls, is available now.
Words: Donna Findlay Published by Laurence King, £12.99.
PHOTOGRAPHY: © BUCK THE CUBICLE

95
 ESCAPE

‘We are all travellers in the wilderness of the world

and the best we can find in our travels is an honest friend’
Robert Louis Stevenson
 Chamber of secrets
Caves have captivated people throughout history and some have become must-visit destinations
for today’s explorers. Beyond this, they’re also special places that can encourage a sense of peace
There’s something magnetic about caves – what else can
explain their ability to draw visitors out of the daylight into
their murky depths? Yet caving – or spelunking, as it’s referred
to in the US and Canada – is now a growing trend in the
tourism industry, with ecotourists, adventurers and curiosity-
seekers keen to explore these hidden landscapes.
Caves have long been places of fascination. Ancient peoples
used their walls as a natural canvas for early forms of language
and art, they once provided refuge for the persecuted, and
bandits and thieves throughout history have used them as
storage facilities for their ill-gotten gains. Our prehistoric
ancestors used caves as burial grounds, while the ancient
Greeks built shrines and consulted oracles in them, as well
as populating them with their mythical monsters. Even the
Dead Sea Scrolls were found buried in 11 diferent caves in
the Judaean desert. But what’s behind their unique attraction?
98
Natural shelter
Perhaps caves appeal to a primal urge for shelter and
protection. In a world of high visibility and noise, caves ofer
refuge from prying eyes and incessant chatter. Uncharted by
Google maps and unreachable by wii, caves are among the few
remaining places on Earth where it’s possible to truly escape.
Psycho- and hypnotherapist Nick Davies agrees: ‘If you
look at Maslow’s hierarchy of needs (a theory in psychology
proposed by Abraham Maslow in his 1943 paper A Theory of
Human Motivation), you’ll ind that our most basic needs are
air, water, food, shelter and sleep. A cave is the most natural,
sturdy form of shelter, so thousands of years of hardwiring
makes us feel safe and secure whenever we enter one.
‘Historically, across Europe, whenever human remains are
found, they’re in and around caves. They make perfect homes
and don’t require much modiication to make them habitable,
so it’s no surprise that our ancestors were drawn to them.
They give protection easily from the elements, keep us
warm in winter and cool in summer, and they are plentiful.’
Dangers within
Yet caves have another, darker side. As well as early cave-
dwelling peoples, they attracted iercely predatory prehistoric
cave bears that were symbols of a terrifying power and played
a signiicant role in the mythology and rituals of the time.
In this sense, as well as sheltering humans, caves were also
sites of potential danger. From this ambiguous beginning,
they have continued to be seen as spaces of both risk and
opportunity. In myths and legends, they’re often the site
of portals to other worlds and mystical experiences, full of
spirits, dragons and buried treasure.
Caves in culture
From a meeting place for the witches in Shakespeare’s tragedy,
Macbeth, to the deathbed of Katherine Clifton in Michael
Ondaatje’s epic novel, The English Patient, caves also have
metaphorical and atmospheric importance in the arts.
For the author of The Hobbit, JRR Tolkien, hobbit holes
were warm, dry and homely, while caves contained dangerous
monsters and provided a home to greedy, xenophobic dwarves.
In 1977 ilm Star Wars, when Luke Skywalker has to enter a
cave to face Darth Vader – the ‘dark father’ and his own dark
side – during Jedi training, he asks Yoda what to expect inside.
‘Only what you take with you’ is his response, drawing on a
history of symbolism that uses the cave motif to imply hidden
depths of geography and the self.
In 1989 ilm The Dead Poets Society, Robin Williams plays an
inspiring teacher who encourages a group of students to host
regular meetings in a cave, where they learn to connect with
their true selves by letting go of their own inhibitions and the
expectations of others. At irst, the cave feels dangerous and
subversive – to get there, the boys must lout the school rules
and venture of campus through intimidating woodland after
dark. But they soon feel inspired and encouraged by their
meetings and learn to seize the day. The cave acts as a catalyst
for self-exploration, growth and even death.
Sense of exploration
Caves are also sites of physical exploration. In today’s know-
everything age, they remain unmapped and undiscovered,
beckoning visitors through their open mouths into the world of
the unknown. Andy Eavis, one of Britain’s most accomplished
speleologists (studier of caves) and chairman of the British
Caving Association, explains: ‘I consider myself a modern-day
explorer. Maybe 10 per cent of the caves in the world have been
explored, which leaves 90 per cent that are entirely unknown.
I like going where no one’s ever been. Cave exploring provides
a wonderful mental and physical challenge.’
Below and over the page are a selection of caves ripe for exploration

CAVES TO EXPLORE

Poole’s Cavern, Derbyshire, England

This two-million-year-old natural limestone
cave, on the edge of Buxton in the Peak
District, has hosted Stone Age cave dwellers,
Bronze Age burials, ancient rituals, medieval
robbers, 16th-century explorers, Victorian
visitors and 21st-century cave scientists.
See poolescavern.co.uk.

Devetàshka Cave, Bulgaria

(Right) This stunning karst cave (formed
from the dissolution of soluble rocks) was used
by humans tens of thousands of years ago in
the Palaeolithic era. Also known as Maarata
and Oknata, the cave’s seven diferent-sized
holes in its ceiling allow for light to ilter
through. Today, it’s a designated national
landmark and home to a wide diversity of
wildlife, including frogs, snakes and bats.
See bulgariatravel.org.

99
 Jenolan Caves, New South Wales,
Australia
(Above and left) More than 40km of multi-

PHOTOGRAPHS (THIS PAGE): COURTESY OF JENOLAN CAVES. (OPPOSITE, TOP): NATIONAL PARK SERVICE
level passages make up the famous Jenolan
Caves, though only a few are accessible to
tourists. The beautiful 9m-long Angel’s
Wing shawl – one of the most substantial
limestone cave shawls in the world – is a
true highlight. It can be explored through
a range of adventure-caving experiences,
night tours and child-friendly activities.
See jenolancaves.org.au.

Polar Caves, New Hampshire, US

These caves were formed during the last
Ice Age by a moving glacier that deposited
boulders at the base of a clif. The passageways
between the rocks allow for unfettered
exploration of the region’s nine caves. Best
of all, self-guided tours are encouraged, so
newbie cavers can experience what it feels
like to explore the depths on their own.
See polarcaves.com.

100
Mammoth Cave, Kentucky, US
(Right) Kentucky’s Mammoth Cave National
Park boasts the world’s longest cave – more
than 600km have been explored so far
– unearthed to date. Its winding chambers,
pools and limestone labyrinths are beautiful
and eerie. Newbie cavers looking to gain
experience will enjoy crawling, crouching
and stair-climbing during the tours.
See nps.gov/maca.

Fingal’s Cave, Isle of Staffa, Scotland

(Below) On the uninhabited Scottish island of
Stafa is a unique cave. Formed entirely from
naturally symmetrical hexagonal columns of
basalt, its 69m arched roof cavern creates
cathedral-like acoustics which inspired
Mendelssohn to compose The Hebrides
overture. Sir Walter Scott called it ‘…one of
the most extraordinary places I ever beheld.’
See nts.org.uk.

101
 Rangiri Dambulla Cave Temple,
Dambulla, Sri Lanka
(Above) Located in the centre of the country,
this Unesco world heritage site is a series of
ive caves hewn from a big rock. It’s thought
they were originally used as hiding places, but
over the centuries they’ve been embellished
and decorated by Sri Lanka’s kings. They hold
approximately 150 Buddhist and Hindu statues
and paintings – some of which are thought to
date back 2000 years.
See srilanka.travel.

Waitomo Glow-Worm Caves,

North Island, New Zealand
(Right) This is a 30-million-year-old system of
limestone caves and one of the best places in
the world to spot glow worms. Visitors venture
45m underground to witness hundreds of
thousands of arachnocampa luminosa lining the
roof of the caves, such as Ruakuri (see right),
like a sky full of stars.
See waitomo.com.

102
 Lascaux, south-west France
(Right) This complex network of caves is
famous is for its Palaeolithic paintings,
which are estimated to be around 17,000
years old. In 1979, Lascaux was listed as
a Unesco World Heritage Site.
See lascaux.fr.

Wind Cave, South Dakota, US

As indigenous animals roam the plains above
ground, the Wind Cave’s unique geology
dazzles visitors beneath the surface. This cave
is renowned for its speleothems (structures
formed by the deposition of minerals from
water), the most prominent of which is its
boxwork, which appears in a honeycomb
pattern and is one of the world’s most complex
and widespread examples of this formation.
See nps.gov/wica.

Words: Judith Hurrell

‘BEAUTY WAS ALL AROUND US’ – A CAVER’S STORY

For some, a cave is a sanctuary, free from the concerns and hustle and bustle of life above ground. The stillness,
the silence, the altered perspective and sense of timelessness are the perfect conditions for mindfulness.

Linda Wilson, a caver from Bristol, finds that caves sharpen her awareness of the here and now:

‘I’ve been a caver for 40 years, since joining the University white stalactites hanging from the soaring roof, darker
of Bristol Speleological Society in 1979, but even before lowstone coating the walls. Beauty was all around us,
PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM UNLESS OTHERWISE STATED. OPPOSITE PAGE: SHAUN JEFFERS

that, I’d never seen a hole in the ground that I didn’t want
to go down. I always knew it was something I wanted to
do, so when I came to Bristol, I had old clothes ready
to sacriice. My husband-to-be lent me a pair of old boots.
They fell apart on my second trip. His lasted a bit longer.
‘I’ve caved most in the UK, France and Ireland. On the
surface, I can sometimes be a seething mass of anxiety,
trying to ight my way through the black cloud and
stiling fog of depression. I might look and feel ine, but
underneath, it’s a diferent matter. When I can muster
enough energy to go underground, it’s diferent. I recently
went back to a cave that I know like the back of my hand
– GB Cavern, under the Mendip Hills, south of Bristol.
‘The irst thing that struck me as my friend and I
dropped down through the entrance was the warm, earthy
smell and the feel of the air, slightly warmer than a cold,
misty Mendip day. It felt like I was coming home, and
the mess inside my head fell away as we made our way
down climbs and through crawls into the large chamber
known as the gorge. We took the time to look around,
not rushing, just enjoying the sights and sounds –
as well as the quiet darkness. It’s easy to lose yourself in
the moment. When you’re clinging to a wall like a limpet
with a 9m drop below you, there isn’t much time to worry
about life’s problems. Being in the moment is easy, as it’s
only the moment that really matters underground.
‘I never feel threatened underground, conidence
comes more easily down there, and I know people who
thoroughly dislike me on the surface [who] would risk
their lives to save mine if I was in trouble. Cavers are like
that. They don’t leave people behind.
‘The trip reminded my friend and me that we can still
have fun and be self-reliant. We emerged a few hours later,
grubby and panting. The mist had cleared on the hills,
and for a while, the mist had cleared from my mind, too.’
Shelter, mindfulness, inner and outer exploration –
perhaps it’s the ambiguous nature of caves that enables
this rich experience. As the American professor, writer,
and orator Joseph Campbell once said: ‘The cave you fear
to enter holds the treasure you seek.’

103
 Up close and personal
Communal saunas aren’t for everyone, but they go back a long way – and the Finns swear by them
On the face of it, the sauna is an unlikely contender for one of
the world’s most popular health practices. Sitting in a hot box
with sweating – and sometimes naked – strangers or, perhaps
worse, family members, colleagues or neighbours, isn’t everyone’s
idea of fun. However, the beneits delivered by a good sweat are
so bountiful that they far outweigh the initial discomfort some
might feel in being in such close proximity to other bodies.
Interestingly, that communality was, and remains, one of the
key characteristics of a sauna. Back in who-knows-when and
who-knows-where, sweat baths brought people together for
rituals, spiritual healing and socialising, much like places of
worship did hundreds, or possibly thousands, of years later.
Although the Finns lay claim to being the irst to practise
intense perspiration in a conined, heated space to cleanse body
and soul, there’s evidence to suggest the Native Americans may
have beaten them to it. Mikkel Aaland, author of Sweat, and
an authority on the subject, admits that dates for when the
irst people crawled into the irst sauna – likely to have been an
earth pit covered in animal skin – are sketchy, wildly varying
(anything from 10,000 to 3,000 years ago) and inconclusive.
104
‘Most researchers agree that Finns always had some form
of sweat bath, as did most peoples around the world,’ wrote
Mikkel in a piece for Sauna Digest. ‘It was the simplest and most
eicient way to keep clean. When the Finns were nomadic, they
probably used a portable sweat lodge similar to those carried
by the American Indians and still seen among nomadic tribes
in central Asia. Once the Finns settled, they may have erected
underground sweat houses, forerunners of the sauna.’
While Finland has the greatest concentration of saunas
(reputedly three million for a population of 5.5 million), the
deepest sweat bath in the world (at the bottom of Pyhäsalmi
Mine, 1,400m below ground), and the quirkiest – you can ind
them on buses, in a gondola ski lift and in a phone booth on
wheels – you need none of those. All you need to heal with heat
is a basic leisure-centre sauna heated to the right temperature,
the willpower to stay in it long enough to sweat it out and, for
maximum health beneits, a cold plunge pool or shower to boost
circulation, increase heart rate and release adrenaline.
Turn the page to discover the health benefits of saunas
Saunas around the world
Finnish sauna
The Finns have a saying: ‘Build your sauna, then build your
house,’ which perfectly sums up how integral to their lifestyle the
practice is. Traditional Finnish saunas (with the sau pronounced
like cow) are wood-lined and ired, with a resting temperature of
up to 90°C. To ramp up the heat and humidity, water is ladled on
to the hot stones, resulting in a blast of löyly (steam), that sends
many newbies running for the cold shower.
Saunas were used for rites of passage, such as puriication
before marriage, as well as for births and deaths, and continue
to be places of family celebration and even of business.
Estonian suitsusaun or smoke sauna
The suitsusaun of Võromaa, in southern Estonia, were given a
Unesco intangible cultural heritage listing in 2014, but you’ll ind
traditional smoke-sauna log or stone cabins in forests and
by riverbanks throughout this enchanting country.
The earliest written records suggest that sweat baths have
been an important aspect of Estonian culture since the 13th
century. Again, they were used for births and deaths and remain
places for family celebrations, relaxation and… smoking food.
What diferentiates a smoke sauna from others is that there’s
no chimney, so smoke from burning wood – often birch – ills
the hut. Once the stones reach peak temperature – about 100°C
– the room is vented and people can go in for their marathon
three- to ive-hour sessions, which are interspersed with cold-
water plunges or snow rubs, and whipping the body with birch
whisks to boost circulation.
Mexican temazcal
Ritual and spirituality are as much a part of the temazcal tradition
as physical and mental wellbeing, with each session helping to
bring participants irst to a meditative state and then to a point of
puriication, transition and renewal. The structures themselves,
often circular and domed, and completely dark, are believed to
symbolise the womb, while the stones that heat them are called
abuelas (grandmothers). Sweat ceremonies are often presided
over by a curandero (healer). By all accounts, both the heat and
the ritual are intense and not for the faint-hearted.
South Korean charcoal kiln sauna
South Korea’s jjimjilbang (sauna) heritage is rich, varied and
centred around family and community, with people going there
to cement relationships. Children irst go with their parents
– boys with their fathers, and girls with their mothers – then
with close friends and partners.
Jjimjilbangs generally have several jjimjil rooms, each heated
to a diferent temperature and with diferent properties and
purposes: there will often be salt, jade, clay and charcoal rooms,
all leading of a central common area where people can relax,
chat and have refreshments, which typically include maekbanseok
(sauna-baked eggs) and sikhye (a sweet rice drink).
For a more intense experience, aicionados seek out traditional
charcoal kiln saunas, which take several days to prepare. Oak logs
are set alight inside clay structures and left to burn for a week.
The charcoal is then removed and the kiln left to cool for about
two days. Even then, the heat is blistering – synthetic ibres and
rubber shoes are prohibited because they’ll melt, and participants
are encouraged to cover their heads with a sheep’s head – thank
goodness this is simply a towel knotted on either side to resemble
a ram with horns.
Native American sweat lodge
Like the temazcal, the Native American sweat-lodge experience
can by highly ritualised and extremely challenging, the goal being
to reach a state of spiritual wellness and puriication through
sweating in a blazing hot, pitch-black wigwam. Those taking part
in an Inipi ceremony, run by an elder, gather round a central pit
illed with ‘grandfathers’ – volcanic rocks that represent spirits
and have been heated in a ire. Women form the outer circle, and
men the inner circle. A typical ceremony will involve several cycles
of bringing in fresh burning stones and of people voicing their
intentions and naming the relatives they wish to connect with
through this intense ritual. This is an extreme experience that
pushes people to the limit and is best avoided by most.
105
 Healing with heat
Recent studies of regular sauna use have attributed many health
beneits to the practice, including the easing of asthma and
eczema, the improvement of circulation and cardiovascular
performance, stress and pain relief, and even a reduced risk of
dementia. Researchers at the University of Eastern Finland, who
followed 2,315 men, aged 42 to 60, for 20 years, found that those
who used a sauna four to seven times a week were 66 per cent less
likely to be diagnosed with dementia (and 65 per cent less likely
to receive a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s) than those who only visited
once a week. However, Clare Walton, research communications
manager at the Alzheimer’s Society, cautioned that while
improving circulation and reducing blood pressure could reduce
risk of dementia, ‘this study alone cannot tell us whether starting
a regular sauna habit is a worthwhile way to improve brain health’.
Nazir Sacoor, chief executive of medical spa brand, Longevity
Wellness Worldwide (LWW), says heat and sweat treatments are
an important element of an integrated health regime that must,
of course, include exercise, time spent outdoors, healthy eating
and an awareness of any medical conditions that might make
raising body temperature inadvisable.
‘Balance is key and there are health and safety precautions
to be aware of,’ says Nazir. ‘At LWW, many of our programmes
106
include an element of sauna, but they are carefully supervised.
Always be aware of the time you are spending in the sauna and
how frequently you are in it. Dehydration is a concern, so make
sure you’re always well hydrated before and after a session. We
advise people that between 15 and 20 minutes is usually the
optimum amount of time to spend inside. If you have high blood
pressure, are pregnant or have any health issues, always consult
a doctor. Use a sauna that operates at a lower temperature. In
addition, avoid eating a large meal or drinking a large quantity of
alcohol before you use the sauna.’
The sweat-room suite at LWW’s new resort in Alvor, Portugal,
also includes an infrared sauna and an Iyashi dome, which
gradually heats up the body using infrared rays. These relatively
new additions to the scene – sometimes scorned by purists –
heat the body directly, unlike conventional saunas, which warm
the air. Their main appeal is that they produce the same efects
– increased heart rate and perspiration – but at lower
temperatures than traditional versions.
‘Studies indicate that infrared saunas deliver the same
beneits as other heat rooms, and with no adverse efects,’
says Nazir. ‘But, as ever, if you have any concerns, please seek
medical advice.’
ILLUSTRATIONS: LYLEAN LEE
Sauna etiquette

• Shower irst.

• People tend to bare all in Scandinavian and Nordic

countries, but if you’re not comfortable with that, ask
if you can wear a swimming costume, or use a towel.
Public saunas tend not to be mixed, but if you’re
staying with friends, expect to be invited in with the
rest of the family.

• Don’t stare.

• Stay until you are sweating heavily. This should

normally be within 15 minutes or so. If you are able
to stay longer, do. Otherwise, don’t push yourself.
Leave, take a cold plunge or shower, then go back
in. Don’t forget that you can wash in a sauna, so do
take in your face and body scrubs.

• Stay hydrated.

• Don’t be afraid to pour water on to the hot stones.

If you’re the one sitting next to the ladle and bucket,
you’ll be responsible for the löyly.

Words: Xenia Taliotis

107
 Sail into serenity
Swap the traditional African jeep safari for a wild cruise on Zimbabwe’s Lake Kariba
Every African safari is sprinkled with magic, but a cruise safari
on Lake Kariba, which straddles the Zimbabwe-Zambia border,
also offers a unique environment in which to slow down, relax
and recharge. This is one of the world’s largest man-made lakes,
held back by the mighty Kariba Dam halfway along the Zambezi
River, providing a vast sanctuary for birds, fish and many of
Africa’s iconic species, including lions and leopards.
Unlike more traditional safaris, where guests stay in a camp
or lodge and travel around by four-wheel drive to spot the
wildlife, your home here is a well-equipped boat, which leisurely
cruises the lake. Daily trips out on a smaller, tender vessel take
108
you closer to the action, and provide a floating platform for
‘sundowners’, the sunset drinks that have become an integral
part of the safari experience.
My trip with Zambezi Cruise & Safaris begins with a four-
hour drive north-west from the country’s hectic capital, Harare,
to the beautiful Kariba Safari Lodge. Set high on a hill, the nine
lodges and eight suites offer stunning views of the lake, which
stretches endlessly to the horizon like an ocean, consuming
Africa’s red sun as it drops below its surface at the end of the
day. Sloping down to a sandy beach, the lodge offers a rare
chance to swim in the lake, with a securely fenced area to keep
 ‘Mornings are magical on Kariba… Outside, a pair of pied wagtails swoop across the
surface of the lake, and as I follow their light path, two marbled green orbs set in a bony,
reptilian skull come into vision, just metres from my gaze: a crocodile’
hippos and crocs at bay. As it’s already night-time, I choose a
moonlit dip in the pool instead, before dining by candlelight on
the terrace, under the twinkling branches of a tamarind tree.
The next day, I board The Shikra, a 10-cabin boat, which ofers
all the comforts of a hotel, including a dining room, lounge and
small pool. With a charter, we can decide where to go, and what
to do and see. Captain Maxwell Baera is at the cruiser’s helm,
PHOTOGRAPHS (OPPOSITE PAGE): COURTESY OF ZAMBEZI CRUISE SAFARIS.COM (THIS PAGE) LAUREN JARVIS
while patient and happy host, Adam Mugwamadzi, serves all
our meals and drinks, summoning us from our cabins with a
rhythm beaten out on a traditional drum.
Wildlife abounds as we island-hop across the lake, the
mountains of the Zambezi escarpment rising in the distance.
Huge hippos wallow and churn the water, eyeing us with caution,
while mammoth Nile crocodiles bask on the banks, as ish
eagles ly overhead. Unlike a land safari, ours is the only vessel
witnessing it all. Out on the tender at sunset, we’re gifted an even
closer, exclusive view of bufalo and elephants emerging from the
bush, as we sink a drink in celebration of a day well spent.
We moor up for the night at an island, as the last traces of
crimson and purple ribbon the sky, soon to be replaced by a
vast, celestial sea of stars. After dinner and an evening dip
in the pool, I head to my cabin and fall into the large, comfy
bed, the lake gently lapping around the boat, lulling me to
sleep, while the bush breathes with a steady hum.
Mornings are magical on Kariba. While I’m not usually an
early bird, I can’t stay in bed with so much excitement and wild
beauty outside. I walk into the bathroom and slide back the large
window, letting the golden light of the Kariba dawn lood in.
Outside, a pair of pied wagtails swoop across the surface of
the lake, and as I follow their light path, two marbled green
orbs set in a bony, reptilian skull come into vision, just metres
from my gaze: a crocodile. Expertly camoulaged against the
brown-green water, he hangs semi-submerged and motionless.
I watch him as I go about my morning routine, showering and
brushing my considerably less-impressive teeth, before walking
barefoot upstairs for breakfast. It’s this ability to place you at
the very heart of the wildest African action that makes a cruise
on Kariba so unforgettably unique.
As I sip my cofee and eat cereal on a daybed on deck,
ishermen sail their boats back to shore, laden with nets of silver
kapenta. Kariba is a working lake, used by locals for food and
transportation, while to the south, Matusadona National Park
brings much-needed tourism and guiding opportunities.
After three days on the water, wildlife spotting, sunbathing
and sampling some of Zimbabwe’s inest food, The Shikra feels
like home. The cruise is as relaxed as a safari can be, with no
rush, no pressure and plenty of me-time to swim, read, talk or
just lounge and soak up the spectacular landscapes drifting by.
Now that’s an African escape I can get on board with.
Words: Lauren Jarvis
Lauren is a freelance journalist and editor with a special interest
in travel, wildlife and conservation. Follow more of her journeys
on Instagram: @laurenjarvistravels
Zambezi Cruise & Safaris ofers a two-night Lake Kariba cruise
and one night at Kariba Safari Lodge from £230 per person, per
night, based on two sharing a room, including all meals and boat
activities. For more information, visit zambezicruisesafaris.com.
Return economy lights from London Gatwick to Harare with
RwandAir start at £500 per person. Visit rwandair.com.
For more information on Zimbabwe, visit zimbabwetourism.net.
109
 Travel light
A holiday or short break with a close friend can help you reconnect, provide
invaluable time out from the routine and result in some fun memories
I’m lying on a beach in southern Spain, stoically attempting to
read my book while a small sandstorm blows around me. As
I complain to my best friend on the towel next to me, a gust
of wind lifts our parasol of its pole and sends it racing down
the beach. It’s not what we’d envisioned for a relaxing day of
sunbathing but the comedic scene of us attempting to rescue
said parasol, and the subsequent it of giggles, sticks in my
mind as one of the fondest memories of that trip. Holidays with
friends are some of my favourite times to look back on. These
shared experiences, whether good or bad, become stories you
bond over and talk about forever.
Such holidays are often demoted to third place, however,
behind romantic weekends away with a partner or time with
family members. But I would argue that a break with a friend –
be it an overnight spa trip, a city break or a week trekking in the
hills – is worth prioritising for the many beneits it can bring.
‘A holiday with a friend can create lifelong memories as you
share unique experiences that strengthen your friendship and
create a deeper sense of trust,’ says psychotherapist Hannah
Martin, who practises in West Sussex. Meg Arroll, a London-
based psychologist, echoes this viewpoint: ‘The shared
experiences that can only really be found when we’re out
of our day-to-day environment deepen friendship.’
Beyond creating memories, spending downtime with a close
friend can help to maintain these important, and often lifelong,
110
relationships. Many of my good friends now live abroad, or have
families or stressful jobs (or both), which makes regular catch-
ups diicult. Holidays provide the space that isn’t there with
a WhatsApp chat, a rushed cofee or a quick dinner.
‘Although texts or a ive-minute phone call are important
pepperings of friendship contact, it’s diicult to discuss what
matters in life in these short bursts,’ explains Meg. ‘A chunk
of time without work stress and life admin allows deeper
conversations to lourish.’
When you spend a day or two in someone’s company, you
have the opportunity to discuss life’s ups and down in more
detail and often veer of-topic completely, but that’s part of the
fun. This can be particularly important if there’s been a period
of time when a friendship has been neglected.
‘Friendships can sufer when you’re busy at work or with a
new partner, but they need nurturing like anything else,’ says
London-based psychologist Jivian Dempsey. The essence is that
friends need to know that they, too, are important in your life
and worthy of being prioritised sometimes.
Travelling with a friend does seem to ofer beneits that are
less easy to come by with a partner or family members. Hannah
describes how such trips can be ‘baggage-free’. She adds: ‘When
on holiday with family or a partner, any simmering resentments
and expectations – both self-imposed or imposed by others –
can follow. For example, if you do the cooking at home, this
111

pattern might continue on holiday. When you go on holiday
with friends, you escape all that baggage. Instead, you get to
be a new, freer version of you.’
Jivian reiterates this view, highlighting how trips with friends
bring less pressure than those with family. She attributes this
to a shift in compromise: ‘Firstly, friends that you’ve chosen to
book a holiday with tend to share similar interests. Secondly, if
difering opinions arise, it’s often ine for you to do something
separately. Friends are likely to understand this, but family
members might feel upset and confused that you don’t want
to spend time with them.’
Holidaying with a friend can be an escape from the norm,
and if you live with a partner or family, a break from the
everyday dynamic. It can create space to allow diferent aspects
of your personality to emerge. ‘Friends can bring out a more fun
and adventurous version of ourselves – one that perhaps we’d
forgotten about and want to experience again,’ says Hannah.
They might also introduce you to new experiences. ‘Even if it’s
just trying diferent types of food, or browsing diferent shops,
friends can take you safely out of your comfort zone, open up
new opportunities and broaden your mind,’ she adds.
Travelling with a friend you’ve known for a long time has
an added beneit: nostalgia. Slipping back into old patterns of
behaviour might help you reconnect with your younger selves
and a time of greater freedom. ‘You might choose to go to a
place you visited years before and rekindle some of those old
feelings and powerful emotions,’ says Meg. Just being with that
person, however, regardless of where you are, is often enough
to tap into that life-airming nostalgic feeling.
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TIPS FOR A REWARDING
FRIEND BREAK
All relationships come with challenges, and
holidaying with a friend won’t necessarily
be plain sailing. Here are Hannah’s tips for
making the most of your time away
Be upfront about your expectations
Are you someone who loves to wake at dawn and
run 10k before breakfast? Or do you prefer drinking
cocktails until 3am? It’s important to chat with your
holiday partner about what you hope to get from the
trip and make plans accordingly.
Be happy to compromise
If there’s something your friend really wants to do,
help to make it happen for them. In return, they’ll be
more willing to help you do the things you want to
do. You could even create a holiday wish list to which
you each equally contribute.
Have time apart
If you want to do diferent activities, agree to part
ways for a while. This will ensure you can both do
what you want to do without any resentment. Time
apart can also help ease any tension and give you
plenty to talk about when you meet up again.
Remember that tension is normal
Spending 24 hours a day in anyone’s company can
result in irritations. Don’t panic if your friend starts
to get on your nerves. Calmly discuss anything that’s
bothering you, or just take a few hours apart.
Laugh it off
If you do have a disagreement, don’t let it ruin
the holiday or the friendship. Arrange to meet
up when you’re home. After having some space,
you’ll hopefully be able to laugh about it.
Time away with a friend, however long or short, can help
to sustain an important relationship and extend the circle of
people whose support through the good times and the bad is
so valuable. ‘No one person can fulil all our emotional needs,’
says Hannah, ‘and it’s unfair and dangerous to expect them
ILLUSTRATIONS: IRINA PERJU
to.’ Instead, it’s best to ill your life with what she calls a ‘rich
tapestry’ of relationships, made up of family, friends and
acquaintances. Holidays provide the perfect opportunity to
foster those key connections, so what are you waiting for?
Words: Elizabeth Bennett
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 Beyond wild
From camera-shy eels to red-hot tongues of lava, the natural wonder of Earth’s wildlife
is celebrated in all its glory in the Wildlife Photographer of the Year competition

The Garden of Eels

Winner – Under Water
David Doubilet, US

This colony of garden eels was one of the
largest David had ever seen. At least two-thirds
the size of a football pitch, it stretched down a
steep sandy slope off Dauin, in the Philippines,
a cornerstone of the famous Coral Triangle. To
choose where to set up his kit, David descended
from the shallows along the colony edge. He
had long awaited this chance, sketching out
an ideal portrait of the colony and designing
an underwater remote system to realise his
ambition. These warm-water relatives of conger
eels are extremely shy, vanishing into their
sandy burrows the moment they sense anything
unfamiliar, so David placed his camera housing
just within the colony and hid behind the
remnants of a shipwreck. From there, he could
trigger the system remotely. It was several hours
before the eels rose again to feed on plankton
drifting by. Gradually, David perfected the
set-up and, several days later, having become
familiar with the eels’ rhythms and the path of
the light, began to get images he liked. When
a small wrasse led a slender cornetfish through
the gently swaying forms, he had his shot.

114
Pondworld
Winner – Behaviour: Amphibians and Reptiles
Manuel Plaickner, Italy
Every spring, for more than a decade, Manuel
has followed the mass migration of common
frogs in South Tyrol, Italy. Rising spring
temperatures stir the frogs to emerge from the
sheltered spots where they spend the winter
(often under rocks or wood, or even buried at
the bottom of ponds). They need to breed and
head straight for water, usually to where they
themselves were spawned. Mating involves
a male grasping his partner, piggyback, until
she lays her eggs – up to 2,000, each in a clear
jelly capsule – which he then fertilises. To
achieve his shot, Manuel needed to ind the
perfect pond in the right light at just the right
time. Though common frogs are widespread
across Europe, their numbers are thought to
be declining, with local populations threatened
by habitat degradation, disease and, in some
countries, hunting. In South Tyrol, there are
relatively few ponds where huge numbers of
frogs still congregate for spawning. Manuel
immersed himself in one of the larger ponds,
at the edge of woodland, where hundreds of
frogs had gathered in clear water. He watched
the spawn build up until the moment inally
arrived for the picture he had in mind – soft
natural light, lingering frogs, harmonious
colours and dreamy relections. Within a few
days, the frogs had gone, and the maturing
eggs had risen to the surface.
115
 Another Barred Migrant
Winner – Wildlife Photojournalism: Single Image
Alejandro Prieto, Mexico
Under a luminous, star-studded Arizona sky, an
enormous image of a male jaguar is projected
onto a section of the US-Mexico border fence
– symbolic, says Alejandro, of ‘the jaguar’s
past and future existence in the US’. Today,
the jaguar’s stronghold is in the Amazon, but
historically, its range included south-western
America. This presence was almost wiped out
by hunting – a practice declared illegal in 1997
– and habitat destruction, and the jaguar is now
a rare sight in the US. Today, two male jaguars
are known to inhabit the borderlands of New
Mexico and Arizona – probably originating from
reserves in north-western Mexico. But with no
recent records of a female – a hunter in Arizona
116
shot the last veriied female in 1963 – any
chance of a breeding population being re-
established rests on the contentious border
between the two countries remaining partially
open. A penetrable border is also vital for many
other species at risk, including Sonoran ocelots
and migrants such as Sonoran pronghorns. The
photograph that Alejandro projected is of a
Mexican jaguar, captured with camera traps he
has been setting on both sides of the border and
monitoring for more than two years. The shot of
the border fence was created to highlight plans
to seal of the entire US/Mexico frontier with an
impenetrable wall, a move that would spell the
end of wild jaguars in America.
Land of the Eagle
Winner – Behaviour: Birds
Audun Rikardsen, Norway
High on a ledge, on the coast near his home in
northern Norway, Audun carefully positioned
an old tree branch that he hoped would make a
perfect golden-eagle lookout. To this he bolted
a tripod head, with a camera, flashes and motion
sensor attached, before building himself a hide
a short distance away. From time to time, he
left road-kill carrion nearby. Over the next three
years, a golden eagle became used to the camera
and started to use the branch regularly to survey
the coast below. The species tends to favour
large territories in open, mountainous areas
inland, but in northern Norway, it’s also found
by the coast. It hunts and scavenges a variety
of prey – from fish, amphibians and insects
to birds and medium-sized mammals such as
foxes and fawns. For their size – the weight of
a domestic cat but with wings spanning more
than two metres – golden eagles are fast and
agile, soaring, gliding, diving and performing
spectacular, undulating display flights. Audun’s
painstaking work captures the eagle’s power as
it comes in to land, talons outstretched, poised
for a commanding view of its coastal realm.
117
 Tapestry of Life
Winner – Plants and Fungi
Zorica Kovacevic, Serbia/US
Festooned with bulging orange velvet, trimmed
with grey lace, the arms of a Monterey cypress
tree weave an otherworldly canopy over
Pinnacle Point, in Point Lobos State Natural
Reserve, California. This tiny, protected coastal
zone is the only place in the world where
natural conditions combine to conjure this
magical scene. Although the Monterey cypress
is widely planted (valued for its resistance to
wind, salt, drought and pests), it is native only
on the Californian coast in just two groves. Its
spongy orange cladding is in fact a green alga,
spectacularly coloured by carotenoid pigments,
118
which depends on the tree for physical support
but photosynthesises its own food. The
algal species occurs widely, but it is found on
Monterey cypress trees only at Point Lobos,
which has the necessary clean air and moisture,
delivered by sea breezes and fog. The vibrant
orange is set off by the tangles of grey lace
lichen (a combination of the alga and a fungus).
After several experiments, Zorica decided on
a close-up abstract of one particular tree and
was lucky to get overcast weather and gentle
light at a quiet moment, enabling her to reveal
the tree’s colourful maze in depth.
Creation
Winner – Earth’s Environments
Luis Vilariño Lopez, Spain
The beginning of May 2018 marked the biggest
eruption for 200 years of one of the world’s
most active volcanoes – Kîlauea, on Hawaii’s
Big Island. In a matter of days, the red-hot
tongues of lava reached the Paciic, on the
island’s south-east coast, producing huge
plumes of noxious laze – a mix of acid steam
and ine glass particles – as they met the
crashing waves. The low continued for three
months and created a huge delta of new
land. By the time Luis was permitted to hire a
helicopter, this new land extended more than
1.6km from shore. He faced two signiicant
Wildlife Photographer of the Year is developed and produced by the Natural History Museum, London. An exhibition of all the winning
entries can be viewed at the museum until 31 May 2020. For more information, visit nhm.ac.uk. Copyright for the images featured
remains with the respective photographers.
restrictions: the helicopter was forbidden to
ly lower than 1,000m and the time spent in
the noxious clouds of acid vapour had to be
minimal. He chose to ly late in the afternoon,
when the side light would reveal the relief and
cloud texture. Thick clouds of laze covered
the coast, but as dusk fell, there was a sudden
change in wind direction and the acidic clouds
moved aside to reveal a glimpse of the lava
lagoons and rivers. Framing his shot through
the helicopter’s open door, Luis captured the
collision boundary between molten rock and
water and the emergence of new land. 
119
 How to be wordless
A way to move silently through the chaos
My life is an immersion in words. They are my currency: I write
words and teach them. I adore the rhythms of literature, the
shape of lyrics, the meanings both surface and subtle in our
syntax and grammar. I enjoy – as now – building a turreted
argument from the bricks and mortar of words.
I’m not the only one. Our world is built on the power of
words, and many of us relish the challenge of a late-night debate
or the friendship established during a morning chat. At the
same time, I’m starting to wonder if I sometimes use words
to avoid, rather than connect.
In fact, it can seem that society adores a non-stop babble,
regardless of its content. And many people struggle with the
verbal or written form, causing them to fear the rigours of
email-writing, or the quick-fire jousting of conversation.
Perhaps words have assumed a power they never ought
to have, if many – including me – have sometimes felt
overwhelmed by this unconscious tyranny. This might explain
why silent retreats are popular. Without verbal distraction, the
mind can focus on the stillness within. They can be wonderful,
but silent retreats are an escape – we have to return to the
babble of the real world in the end.
Yet it’s not always the rest of the world that’s the problem,
at least for me. Because some of that babble is of my own
making, and maybe it’s possible to discover peace within the
chaos, if I can learn to shut up.
Once, I lost my spoken voice for a week. Even though I was
still writing, the act of not speaking led me to discover an inner
silence I’d never thought possible within the noise. I found a
part of that stillness awakened by going on retreat, and walked
through my home city in an oasis of quiet: listening, but not
engaging. And as the week went on, during those times when
120
I switched off from both my words, and those of others, I found
myself connecting to different rhythms: the tones of nature,
the pulse of my heart.
It’s a discipline, for me, to neither speak nor write for any
stretch of time. And yet I know that stepping back from
the chaos, within the chaos, is vital in order to discover the
inner peace many of us need. Plugging in to my silent self,
disconnecting from an unconscious demand that I ought to
verbalise my every thought, seems to me the only method for
tuning my mind to a different beat.
Words: Stephanie Lam
Follow more of Stephanie’s thoughts @StephanieLam1
STEP BY STEP TO BECOMING QUIET
IN A NOISY WORLD
• Start small: an hour of quietness with no phone.
• Don’t stay at home. Get out into your local
environment and resist the urge to chat.
• Begin connecting to other rhythms – of nature,
ILLUSTRATION: AGNESE BICOCCHI
of your heartbeat, of inner quiet.
• Feel the cobwebs blowing from your brain and
embrace any peace that comes.
• If words come to mind, let them settle inside.
Who knows what poetry might bloom as you
move silently through a noisy world?