Text from my initial  A comment or  The change(s) I  How this change 
WP submission  question I received  made to what I  impacts my paper 
initially wrote 

WP1: The scholarly  Allison: thesis could be  The scientific scholarly  This provides more 
texts…both discuss the  more specific - perhaps  text…and the English  detail to the reader on 
ethical justification of  mentioning what  journal...both stimulate  what I aim to discuss in 
switching to  different genre  a discussion on the  my paper. The 
plant-based lifestyles,  conventions will be  justification of  reconstruction of my 
using drastically  discussed  switching to  thesis better responds 
contrastive sources as  plant-based lifestyles,  to the prompt 
well as distinct styles of  revolving their  regarding differing 
writing based on their  particular  genre conventions, 
particular goals,  argumentation around  while still delving into 
assumptions, concepts,  discourse  the purpose of these 
and ideologies.  community-respective  journals. 
presentation of 
evidence, research 
questions, tone, 
assumptions of their 
audience’s knowledge, 
and organization. 

WP1: The  Allison: topic sentences  Not only are the  Upon reflection, diving 
environmental science  are missing in a few  sources of evidence  into what I want to 
journal…delves into the  places  extracted for these  discuss in my paper 
analysis “that  scholarly journals  appeared to be 
vegetarian alternatives  strikingly different, but  confusing and 
for meat, cheese, and  the approaches in  disorganized to read. 
fish may have a  which the two break  Adding a clear topic 
relatively low  down the data to fuel  sentence to my body 
environmental impact  their argument are just  paragraph helped lead 
when primary  as distinct.  way and clarify the 
production and  topic at hand. 
processing are 
considered.” 

WP1: The authors  Myself: I noticed I  To illustrate how the  Adding that transition 
provide tables of  sometimes didn’t tie  process of production  to the beginning of the 
environmentally  back evidence from the  and exportation are  sentence informs the 
relevant differences  journal to the point I am  factored into this  reader how that data 
between meat protein  trying to make about  argument, the authors  plays a role in the 
and its products from  the specific discourse  provide tables of  discipline’s specific 
plant protein and its  community  environmentally  genre convention I am 
products...   relevant differences  discussing--in this case, 
between meat protein  it was research 
and its products from  questions. 
plant protein and its 
products... 

WP1: ... many of the  Allison: it would be  ... many of the units of  Incorporating a quote 
units of measurement  helpful to see more  measurement, as well  to refine my claim as 
as well as the symbols  quotes  as the symbols  well as following it with 
accompanying the  Myself: my analysis for  accompanying the  a sentence about how 
numbers would be  this sentence is  numbers, would be  the quote and my 
difficult to interpret by  thorough, however, it  difficult to interpret by  analysis supports my 
someone unfamiliar  fails to tie back to my  someone unfamiliar  thesis helps my writing 
with environmental  argument about  with environmental  to be more direct and 
science data.  scientific discourse  science data such as  prompt-oriented. 
communities and their  “0.02 ha 100 kg–1y–1” 
genre conventions  and “ecopoints/kg.”6 
Therefore, the 
discourse community 
appears to be those 
within the 
environmental or even 
nutrition studies based 
on the scientific jargon 
and data tables used in 
the journal. 

WP1: Otherwise, the  Myself: I saw that I  Otherwise, data like  Clarifying what I was 
data used in the journal  referred to data in the  Singer’s postulation on  referring to when I 
may come off as  journal and while I said  “the ecumenical  wrote: “data used in the 
impractical to those  what it was I was  importance of the  journal” in my first draft 
outside of the English  analyzing about it, the  silence of God in the  strengthens my claim 
field because it is not  reader may feel lost on  face of human anguish”  with evidential support, 
contributing to a  what exactly I am  may come off as  and helps to make sure 
broader discussion  implying in my  impractical to those  I don’t lose the reader. 
other than the specific  reference  outside of the English 
deliberation of Singer’s  field because it is not 
vegetarianism.  contributing to a 
broader discussion 
other than the specific 
deliberation of Singer’s 
vegetarianism. 

WP1: Many people are  Myself: Some of my  This requires a more  This change of 
familiar with this  analysis was redundant  immersive reading to  reconstructing my 
structure of writing,  and would be more  fully follow the  analysis allows for a 
however, it requires a  effective if it was more  development of the  more concise, 
more immersive  refined.  author’s analysis.  straightforward point 
reading to fully follow  that I was originally 
the development of the  trying to make. 
author’s analysis. There 
are no headings for a 
skimmer to browse for 
or tables that sum up 
findings. 

WP1: Unlike the  Allison: you could  Unlike the more rigid  In the first draft, I lost 
objective tone that  expand more on what  structure that  focus on how specific 
environmental science  these differences tell  environmental science  differences are 
journals tend to take  us about the discipline's  journals tend to take  particular to a 
on, the author of the  discourse communities.  on, the author of the  discipline’s discourse 
English journal is able  English journal is able  communities, and so I 
to develop their own  to develop more  restructured my 
voice and maintain its  personal writing  analysis so that it 
presence throughout  motives and style,  focused on how English 
the writing. This adds to  maintaining its  journals tend to have 
the reading of the  presence throughout  more flexibility in its 
journal and influences  the journal.  writing style and 
how the author  structure as opposed to 
presents their  science. 
perspective to the 
audience. 

WP1: ... academic  Myself: My intro and  ...academic disciplines  This additional 
disciplines can clearly  conclusion paragraph  can clearly possess a  sentence clarifies why 
possess a specific and  discussed discourse  specific and unique  the variance of 
unique outlook on the  communities but  outlook on the same  discourse communities 
same topic of  skimmed on the role of  topic of argument. This  is significant, explaining 
argument.  genre conventions.  is accredited to the  how genre conventions 
various genre  display many of these 
conventions particular  differences in 
to a certain academic  ideologies. 
discipline. 

WP2: Common writing  Myself: I stated that  Writing conventions of  By adding which 
conventions of  there were certain  scientific journals often  headings and data 
scientific journals  writing conventions in  include data tables or  tables are in the journal, 
include data tables or  the science journal, but  graphs, headings, and  I strengthened the 
graphs, headings, and  did not follow it with  subheadings, which is  point I was making on 
subheadings, which is  evidence.  apparent in this  how specific genre 
apparent in this  environmental science  conventions are 
environmental science  journal with their three  important in scientific 
journal.  data tables and  discourse communities. 
headings: introduction, 
life cycle impact 
assessment techniques, 
comparisons, and 
discussion.2 

WP2: Second body  Myself: I blurred  Divided paragraph to  By separating the 
paragraph (as a whole)  multiple conventions in  lead into a new body  claims regarding 
a body paragraph,  paragraph at “there are  different conventions, 
weakening my  also headings that  it makes for the reader 
individual claims.  appear often in  to more easily follow as 
magazine articles,  well as distribute the 
commonly representing  integrated quotes more 
steps the author is  evenly. 
advising the reader to 
take such as ‘1. Don’t 
quit meat cold turkey.’” 

WP2: Missing from last  Myself: I did not  I strayed from adding  Explaining how 
paragraph, after  elaborate after I  “where,” “when,” and  techniques used by 
referencing Boyd  referenced Boyd  “how,” into the  Boyd applied to my 
translation as I felt that  translation strengthens 
that would  the use of Boyd’s tips 
unnecessarily linger on  and explains my writing 
the denser portion of  process more 
the text, which could  reflectively. 
have jeopardized the 
objective of magazine 
reading as a light, 
leisurely reading 

WP2: I focused on  Allison: I noticed you  I focused on  I reworded my thesis to 
composing text that  brought up the visuals  incorporating common  include how the visuals 
appeals as a common  of a magazine article  genre conventions of  played a role in the 
lifestyle magazine,  when discussing the  magazine  translation process, and 
using casual and  translation process but  writing--composing  so it connects when I 
current jargon that is  not when discussing the  visually pleasing text  talk about it in my body 
understood primarily by  genre conventions  and images that appeal  paragraphs. 
a generation of  as a common lifestyle 
millennial women who  magazine as well as 
would read health  using casual and 
magazines.  current jargon that is 
understood primarily by 
a generation of 
millennial women who 
would read health 
magazines. 

WP2: Additionally, the  Allison: felt like the  The recurring  I bridged two separate 
article continues with  references to the  convention of  sentences to 
the convention of  required articles were a  conversational tone  correspond with my 
conversational tone,  bit of an afterthought  continues with a  one claim about the 
“you might need some  since they came at the  VegNews article, “you  specific convention, 
help when making the  end and weren't  might need some help  helping to integrate the 
transition, which is why  integrated into the  when making the  quotes more and 
we’re providing six tips  body of the reflection  transition, which is why  discussing it in a more 
that’ll have you saying  we’re providing six tips  organized manner. 
“please pass the kale”  that’ll have you saying 
in no time.”5  “please pass the kale” 
in no time,” as well as 
with VegetarianTimes 
who chats with the 
reader, “Worried that 
you—or someone you 
love—won’t get enough 
protein without meat? 
Relax!” 

WP2: Missing in new  Myself: lack of  Rather than an  Adding this closing 
body paragraph I made  closure/analysis after  objective tone that  sentence for the new 
(2nd body)  discussing a specific  many informative  body paragraph helps 
convention  articles tend to take on,  to clarify and establish 
magazine articles often  tone and headings as 
 aim for this friendly  separate conventions 
approach to their  with different purposes. 
audience--making their 
article an inviting 
source of information 

WP2: The editors of  Myself: lack of evidence  The editors of  Because I 
Vegetarian Times  Vegetarian Times  re-distributed and 
include a list of their  include a list of their  changed where I 
advised protein choices  advised protein choices  integrated quotes, I 
for vegans in a similar  for vegans in a similar  added this quote so 
heading format as the  heading format as the  that the last body 
other articles.  other articles, “1. Tofu…  paragraph still had 
2. Beans… 3. Greek  evidence and was 
Yogurt… 4. Eggs… 5.  equally as strong. 
Lentils… 6. Nuts and 
Nut Butters… 7. 
Tempeh… 8. Protein 
Powder.”4