8 Secrets Your Body Language Is Revealing About You

1. Eye contact
If you want your body language to show you’re listening to another person,
make eye contact. But limit it: An overly aggressive eye lock can be read as
threatening. “When you give more than 80 percent, the person you are
communicating with will feel uncomfortable,” explains Janine Driver, author of
the New York Times best seller You Can’t Lie to Me. Give too little (40 percent
or less) and it can be a sign of deceit. The magic number? 60 percent, or a little
more than half. “Give them eye contact, then slightly glance away.”
Knowing these body language tricks will give you exactly what you want from
life.

2. Crossed arms

Crossing your arms? Others may read that to mean you’re distant, insecure,
anxious, defensive, or stubborn, according to Barbara and Allen Pease in The
Definitive Book of Body Language.

But arm crossing has its pluses, too. Driver points out that it can make someone
better at sticking to a difficult task, citing a study that found adults who crossed
their arms and then were asked hard math questions were 30 percent more
likely to keep trying to solve them than those who kept their hands on a table.
“The act of crossing your arms utilizes both your left and right brain, creating
higher cognitive function,” says Driver.

So the next time you confront someone with a tough question and they cross
their arms, don’t assume you’ve made them mad; they might just be trying to
come up with an answer.

3. Sitting with legs spread

Driver says when you sit like this you’re marking your territory and exuding
dominance. “People with power are seen to take up more space,” she says.
Here are the best ways to build trust with your body language.

4. Crossed legs
If you sit with your legs crossed, ankle over knee, you’re confident and
dominate, says Driver. Known as “figure four” in body language circles, Driver
says when you sit in this position you’re opening up your “power zone,” or the
nether region. “We have three areas on our body where we open up when we
are stress-free and relaxed: the neck dimple, belly button, and ‘naughty bits,’”
she says. It’s a predominantly male movement but Driver says women are
beginning to sit like this more and more.

Crossing your legs at the ankles while seated is known as the “ankle lock” and
can mean you’re holding back, uncertain, or fearful, making it common in
interview situations.

And ladies, if you want to appeal to a man, cross your legs at the knees.
According to the Peases, men voted this their favorite position for seated
women.

5. Standing with hands on hips

You might think the “Superman pose” shows off your confident side, but
beware, because Driver says this stance can often come off as aggressive.
That’s because you’re taking up more space and “threatening” with your pointed
elbows, preventing others from getting by you. Even propping just one hand on
your hip can give off an intimidating vibe, say the Peases. Make sure you never
make these body language mistakes during a job interview.

6. Reaching for a handshake

The custom of shaking someone’s hand goes as far back as the Ancient
Romans. At first, people would hold onto each other’s forearms, and now we
reach for just the palm of someone’s hand. But there are important thoughts to
consider before going in for the grab. Handshakes are a sign of trust and
welcome, according to the Peases, so reaching first means that you believe
you’re welcomed by the other person and they are happy to meet you. Imitating
a handshake to someone who might not be so welcomed to meet you could
result in negative feelings towards you. Here are eight ways to build trust with
someone with the best body language techniques. 

7. Smiling often
Making a habit out of smiling and laughing during conversations and
interactions with other people can result in positive outcomes. When smiling at
another person, you can increasingly improve relationships. “Evidence shows
the conclusively that smiles and laughter build the immune system, defend the
body against illness and disease, medicate the body, sell ideas, teach better,
attract more friends, and extend life,” say the Peases. In their book, they say
that this is part of the reason being funny or having the ability to make others
laugh can be found attractive by so many people. 

8. The nose touch

When you lie, your nose doesn’t necessarily grow longer, but there is a
scientific “Pinocchio Effect” that occurs. At the Smell and Taste Treatment and
Research Foundation in Chicago, scientists discovered that when you lie,
chemicals called catecholamines are released, making the tissue inside your
nose to sell. There’s also an increase in blood pressure, causing your nose to
tingle, and you, in turn, to start rubbing your nose to “just itch” it. The same
reactions happen if you are upset, angry, or anxious. You won’t be able to see
any sort of swelling on a person’s nose if they lie, but if you start to notice them
quickly rubbing their nose, you should pay close attention to see if they could be
lying. If the person you’re talking to just has an itchy nose, their actions will be a
more deliberate rubbing instead of light strokes. Next, be sure you know more
ways when someone is lying to you.