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A Med Student’s Diary

April 2020

Her day starts suddenly, again


like the cracking of an eggshell
There’s no going back
to the tranquility just before.

Reality
is harsher than the smell of cauterized flesh
And more stark
than blood on a fresh blouse
Reality has long been a resting place.

Medicine is safer
than those moments between tasks
than these days lacking structure
than the weeks without purpose.

Gone are the days


of struggle with peace
of venture with serenity
Each intellectual pursuit, each insurmountable goal
calms the internal storm
that reality insists on pressurizing.

She can’t be alone in this plight


Troubled hearts become lovers
Troubled souls become healers
who aspire to treat all but one
and are damn persistent in that affliction.

The world slows yet the virus spreads


Safe spaces include the home
Safe spaces exclude her home
Medicine missing most poignant
Reality present most unwavering.

Ambition is not lacking


as there is much to still be done
But there is no replacement for medicine
And reality approaches faster
then she could ever run.

-KJS

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