1. This is a letter from a Sardarjee mother to her son.

Pyaarey puttar,
Vahe Guru.
I'm writing this letter slow, because I know you cannot read fast. We
don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the
paper that most accidents happen 20 miles from your home, so we
moved. I won't be able to send you the address as the last Sardar who
stayed here took the house numbers with them for their next house,
so they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, situated right
above the commode. I'm not sure it works too well. Last week I put in
3 shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since. The weather
here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first it rained for
3 days and second time for 4 days. The coat you wanted me to send
you, your Aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail
with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the
pocket. Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is
cutting the grass at the cemetery. Your sister had a baby this morning.
I haven't found out whether it's a girl or a boy, so I don't now whether
you are an Aunt or Uncle. Your uncle, Jatinder fell in a nearby well.
Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off bravely and
drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days. Your best
friend, Balwinder, is no more. He died trying to fulfil his father's last
wishes. His father had wished to be buried in the sea after he died.
and your friend died while in the process of digging a grave for his
father. There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has
happened.
Love sat shree akal.
Mom.
P. S : I was going to send you some money but the envelope was
already sealed.

2. Santa Singh was driving his Mercedes at a furious pace and

suddenly hits the car ahead, a Maruti, and both come to a complete
halt. The Maruti's driver, Banta Singh is furious. He steps out of his car
and moves towards Santa. He makes a circle on the road and asks
Santa to stand inside it and dares him to step out of it. He pulls out a
rod and breaks the bonnet of the Mercedes. He looks back at Santa
and finds him laughing cunningly. This makes him even more furious
and goes about breaking all the windows of the expensive car. Again
looking back he finds Santa laughing! His anger peaking, Banta
smashes whatever part of the Mercedes he can lay hands on. Yet again
Santa is found smiling. Frustated and tired, Banta finally asks Santa
Singh, "What's the matter with you? I have completely torn apart your
car and you continue to smile, what's wrong with you?" Santa replies,
"Well, you didn't know... you see, everytime you turned to smash my
car, I stepped out of the circle!"

3.

1. Santa got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket.
He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.

2. Santa joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the
computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Santa : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

3. On a romantic day santa's girlfriend asks him. Darling on our

engagement day will you give me a ring.
Santa : Ya sure, from landline or mobile.

4. Doctor to patient : Y o u will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see

any one before you die? Patient : Yes. A good doctor.

5. Santa & Banta were fixing a bomb in a car.

Santa : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
Banta: Dont worry, I have a one more.

6. Interviewer : When is your birthday. Santa : 13th Oct. Interviewer :

which year ? Santa : Oye Ullu ke patte : Every year.

7. Santa was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks santa
why are you removing a wheel from your auto.
Santa : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler.

8. Santa : What is the name of your car ? Lady : I forgot the name,
but is starts with "T".
Santa : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi
petrol se start hoti hai.

9. Boss : Where were you born ? santa : Punjab. Boss : which part ?
santa : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.

10. American told santa : Hamare desh me 90% shaadi e-mail se hoti
hai.
Santa : Kya bath hai. Hamari desh me 100% female se hoti hai.

11. How will you destroy a submarine full of Santas? Simple. Just
knock the door and they will open it.