The news anchors report on inappropriate holiday toys like the rude robot R2-Fuck You and popular items like Tickle Your Elmo. A reporter discusses accidents at the Fruit Roll-Up factory leading to inappropriate flavors. The anchors struggle to report without laughing at the inappropriate content they are reading from the teleprompter.
The news anchors report on inappropriate holiday toys like the rude robot R2-Fuck You and popular items like Tickle Your Elmo. A reporter discusses accidents at the Fruit Roll-Up factory leading to inappropriate flavors. The anchors struggle to report without laughing at the inappropriate content they are reading from the teleprompter.
The news anchors report on inappropriate holiday toys like the rude robot R2-Fuck You and popular items like Tickle Your Elmo. A reporter discusses accidents at the Fruit Roll-Up factory leading to inappropriate flavors. The anchors struggle to report without laughing at the inappropriate content they are reading from the teleprompter.
6/26/2019 Printing Mode The Don't Laugh Newsroom - VoiceTube
VoiceTube The Don't Laugh Newsroom
1. - Yes, it's Christmas in July in May.
2. Oh, I've immediately failed (laughs). 3. (electronic music) 4. - [Announcer] From West Hollywood, California 5. the only news team that doesn't know 6. what's on the teleprompter before they read it. 7. Anyone who laughs or breaks loses points. 8. This is Breaking News. 9. - Good evening, and welcome to Breaking News. 10. - The show where we don't know what we're about to say 11. and we aren't allowed to smile or laugh. 12. - I'm Taffy Moops. 13. - And I'm O.K. Simpson. 14. - Tonight, ho ho ho, no. 15. You're not hearing things, that's the sound Santa Claus 16. makes plus an extra ho. 17. - No. Yes, it's Christmas in July in May (Laughs). 18. Oh, I've immediately failed (laughs). 19. And we've got the lowdown on the 20. hottest toys this holiday season. 21. - Kids can't get enough of R2-Fuck You. 22. The rude little robot that hates his parents. 23. - Fuck (laughs). 24. This little shit fucking sucks, and I hate it. 25. - But your children love it. 26. - This toy is a bad influence, 27. just like that kid you weren't 28. supposed to play with when you were little. 29. - Jonathan? 30. - Yes, Jonathan. 31. - R2-Fuck You already has a soft little mustache, 32. knows a lot about guns, and hates wearing a shirt. 33. - He's got a Big Dogs hat 34. and milk crust in the corner of his mouth. 35. - And he knows a surprising amount about sex. 36. - If you buy R2-Fuck You, 37. remember to pick up a few packs of D batteries 38. 'cause baby, you'll need them. 39. - Remember D batteries? 40. Well they're back, and heavier than ever. 41. - Load 'em up like shotgun shells 42. in this disrespectful robot, 43. and let it corrupt your children. 44. - Other popular toys this season include https://www.voicetube.com/videos/print/69319 1/3 6/26/2019 Printing Mode The Don't Laugh Newsroom - VoiceTube
45. Your Little Pony, Tickle Your Elmo, and YournCraft.
46. - We now go to Skimberly Milk with the sport report. 47. Skim? 48. - Thanks, Taffy. 49. The Washington Redskins announced 50. that they'll change their name to 51. The Washington Denver Nuggets. 52. Xavier has decided to open a college 53. to support its baseball team, 54. and Mr. Met is in critical condition 55. after a terrible misunderstanding involving his head. 56. All that to come. 57. But first: Soccer has been officially declared 58. The Rick and Morty of Sports. 59. A highly entertaining spectacle 60. with just the worst fucking fans. 61. Yes, whether you suddenly started using the word "lads" 62. or you won't shut up about your one visit to Europe, 63. you all fucking suck. 64. That's it for the sports report. 65. Until next time, I'm Skimberly Milk. 66. - Thanks, Skim. 67. I'm getting word of breaking news. 68. For more on this story, we turn to our reporter 69. in the field, Sumptuous Cream. 70. Sump, what's going on out there? 71. - Tragedy, O.K.,Total tragedy. 72. It appears there's been yet another mistake 73. at the Fruit Roll-Up Factory. 74. This time resulting in the creation of 75. Tropical Kiwi Threesome Roll-Ups, 76. and the loss of seven lives. 77. - How terrible. 78. - Yes, and this same negligent factory 79. has twelve accidents in the past year alone, leading to, 80. Oops All Wrapper, Uh-Uh Beef on The Inside, 81. Fuck, Three Sided Roll-Ups, Envelope Glue Flavor, 82. the dis-embarkment of four workers, 83. and Lame Ass Ranch. 84. - A shocking disaster. 85. What fun Fruit Roll-Ups with they roll out next? 86. - God willing, none. 87. - Well thanks, Sump. 88. Sumptuous Cream will have more 89. on this story as it develops. 90. - And that's all we have time for for now. 91. We close with a bit of personal news. 92. Oh no. 93. Our employee of the week just couldn't stop smiling https://www.voicetube.com/videos/print/69319 2/3 6/26/2019 Printing Mode The Don't Laugh Newsroom - VoiceTube
94. and laughing even though they're not allowed to.
95. Congrats to our employee of the week... 96. Oh no, it's me. 97. - Well, until next time. 98. Thank you from everyone here at Breaking News. 99. Taffy Moops, O.K. Simpson, Skimberly Milk, 100. and Sumptuous Cream. 101. Goodnight. 102. (electronic blips) 103. - Hey, it's Grant from College Humor. 104. Click her to subscribe to the channel, 105. click here for more fun stuff, and... 106. Sorry, guys, it feels like I'm out. 107. Am I out? 108. 'Cause I can like see the top of the camera so it's... 109. Is this better? 110. Alright, it feels worse. 111. Okay, thanks for watching!
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