Copyright © 2019/Karen Mhanda

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or by any means, without the prior written permission of the author.

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 CONTENTS
CHAPTER ONE ............................................................................... 4
AN UNPLEASANT DAY AND A PARTY ................................. 4
CHAPTER TWO............................................................................... 9
OFF TO KWAZULU NATAL...................................................... 9
CHAPTER THREE ......................................................................... 17
GAUTENG COURT ................................................................... 17
CHAPTER FOUR ........................................................................... 21
3 WEEKS LATER... ................................................................... 21
CHAPTER FIVE ............................................................................. 32
SCHOOL SCANDAL ................................................................. 32
CHAPTER SIX ............................................................................... 44
FINALLY, FULL TIME DANCING .......................................... 44
CHAPTER SEVEN ......................................................................... 49
THE BAD EXPERIENCE .......................................................... 49

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 CHAPTER ONE

AN UNPLEASANT DAY AND A PARTY

M y name is Anne. I am a fourteen year old girl who

sees herself different amongst others. I am living
with albinism and both my parents are Zulu. Cape Town,
South Africa is the place of my birth. My sisters and
brothers are black; Kentsani, Tiiletso, Kakathi and Vuyiso.
I enjoy spending time with them because they are the only
people who never discriminate me. Vuyiso and Kakathi are
twin brothers aged eighteen, Kentsani is sixteen and
Tiiletso is twenty-four. Tiiletso is finishing her studies
next year at the University of Johannesburg where she is
studying medicine. Vuyiso and Kakathi are doing their
grade twelve at Kerl's Boys Academy which is a boarding
school away from home. Kentsani and I are at Thabiseng
Sekondere Skool.

So this is my story...
As an 'albino' I face many challenges fighting for
success, most of the times I feel out of place around people
at school because they always make fun of me; especially
the black people.
It happened this day when I was going for an eye
surgery. (It is rare for an ‘albino’ to have perfect eyesight.)
"Anne Petersons?" — The tall white optician called me.
I stood up and took a deep breath before the theatre
doors had welcomed and trapped me in.
"Good luck!” – Whispered my faithful mother.
In the theatre they were two opticians, a brain surgeon
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and an eye surgeon. What a scary scenario! I was given a
puce gown to put on. I could see how shiny and sharp their
tools were. My shoulders shivered when I saw the eye
surgeon coming to me with a very sharp needle on a
syringe about to inject my eye lids. I screamed my guts
out when the brain surgeon took one of the small tiny
sharp knives, I could see he was about to shave off my hair.
I felt like the blood in my veins boiled to its highest boiling
point. I had so much fear of those sharp instruments.
As I shook with fear of being hurt and imagining my
eye wrapped with a band aid afterwards, I suddenly
opened my eyes and behold, it was all a dream, just scary
events in my mind whilst I was sleeping. I came out of bed,
my pyjamas looked sweaty and I felt uncomfortable. I was
really fighting the dream yazi. I took a cold shower. No
one was home. I went to check the calendar just to see it
was Carnival day. I wore my Adidas tracksuits and
sneakers and went to town with so much joy and
anticipation to meet my uncle and his family who had
promised would be in town that day.
"Anne, Anne!" I heard a voice shouting behind me from
a distance and it was my uncle with his daughters who
were about to get in the car after shopping at Spar. I ran
with joy and gave my uncle a brief hug. He was really a
gentleman that day, looking all good in his fancy grey suit.
I couldn't believe he was the same guy who used to come
home at 3am early in the morning drunk and smelling
alcohol. He used to play checkers with amajita eGauteng.
The guy who used to skip lectures, but now he was a
graduate and had three kids: Naledi, Nomsa and Thabiso;
but he was married to a wicked wife. I had a very close
relationship with my uncle.
"Long time dear, you should come with us to Durban
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for the holidays," he said.
Durban is my favourite city. I love the sea side, the
eateries, the jewellery stores nje and even the top
academies. On our way home I saw my father's car
bumping in front of us. Kentsani was the one who came
out first– uncle's crazy buddy of all times.
"Happy Birthday my angel," said uncle.
I had completely forgotten it was Kentsani's birthday,
I was only thinking about the Carnival day. I squeezed her
into my arms trying to stop myself from laughing.
She made an angry face, "Wena you didn't even text me
just to say Happy birthday!"
"Ngiyanxolisa s'thandwa sam."
We drove home and prepared for Kentsani's birthday
party. She asked me if I could help her with what to wear.
Kentsani had a lot of clothes, I mean some of them still had
price tags on and she never bothered to wear them. She
had skin jeans, boyfriend jeans, t-shirts, sweaters, joggers,
tracksuits. Every latest costume on Instagram she would
make sure she had it by the end of that week.
"How do I look?" she wore a pair of black ripped jeans
and a crop top with her face on it.
"Stunning girl!"
She was also a ‘selfie’ addict. I mean she would take two
hundred photos of herself every day and only upload one
on Instagram and Facebook. So the party started and
there were a lot of school friends and our cousins from the
Western Cape. I felt out of place because at school people
always humiliated me and I never liked their company.
They called me 'Ugly Scary Albino', uscobino. I didn't like
confronting people so I always ignored them to avoid
noise. Suddenly someone pushed me to the ground and

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stepped on my head.
"Stop it, you are hurting me"
"Uscobino, unjan' mgani wami"
The crowd starting laughing.
It was Marth-nee, a giant girl who bullied other
learners at school. I pulled her leg and she immediately
fell to the ground.
"So you want to fight me?" she asked.
"Marth-nee I don't want to fight with you."
She slapped me and I smiled as I walked away. She
pulled me back and I didn't allow defeat this time. I was
about to punch her on the tummy but suddenly my father
and uncle showed up.
"Kakathi go and take my leather belt," I knew it was
totally going to be bad this time.
"Kanti ngenzeni baba?" – my eyes dissolved in tears.
"Kanti ngenzeni when you are busy fighting other kids?"
he pulled his sleeves.
"She is not a kid baba," I meant to say she was a female
goliath though and that's when you hear my father calling
her a kid.
"You think because of your skin colour you are so
unique than these black people!" he raised his voice.
This time I was angry too. I quickly wiped a tear from
my cheek.
"Dad is it my fault that I'm living with albinism? You
never get it when I say I also wish to be black." I surely
was about to cry this time.
I made him angry the more.
"You are enigmatically a fierce monster!" he shouted at
me.
The party was not going to be fun for me anymore. I

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looked at Kentsani and she was enjoying with the cousins
so I went to my room. It was unbelievable my father had
spit such words and I couldn't believe that l had
confronted him too.

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 CHAPTER TWO

OFF TO KWAZULU NATAL

T he next day I woke up and heard voices from my

closet; well it was Thabiso and her sisters wearing
my clothes and shoes while taking selfies nje.
"Hey you ugly black rats, didn't your mother buy you
clothes?"
I grabbed them out and pushed them to the corridor. I
saw my father coming out of the bedroom ready to go to
work, although late that day.
"So now you want to kill your cousins," he said
"Good morning baba!" I didn't want to have a word with
him but greeted him instead.
He walked towards me and said, "Go and pack your
things you are going to KZN."
"Hawu baba KZN?"
I never liked KZN since childhood. I started wailing at
my father's feet. He ambled back to his bedroom. I went to
my room and sat on the carpet crying. Thabiso and Naledi
silently laughed at me whilst they stood at the door step.
I slammed the door and went to the closet to put on my
buff morning coat and went to the kitchen to make myself
omelette and a cup of coffee. Well for sure I enjoyed the
fancy life but the confronts from my dad, haii I didnt.
My uncle entered the kitchen tying his neck tie, "Mmm,
you are such a good chef."
"Thank you uncle, and where are you up to?" I knew
how he would dress for an occasion.
"Durban. I have a very urgent meeting to attend," he
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said.
"Uncle I want to come with you," suddenly I asked with
a long face.
"I am sorry but your father said you have to go to
KZN," he shrugged his shoulders, with no choice at all
though.
"Seriously in KZN, I can't celebrate Easter holiday and
my birthday as well."
"I will try to talk to him," he at least understood my
opinion.
I had my breakfast, I entirely had nothing in my tummy
since last lunch before the party had started. Suddenly
Kentsani came out of her room with her travelling bag.
"Are you not coming with me?" She said taking some
selfies of her new pair of nikes and her bag, "hash tag
travelling to Durban in air and in nike," she added.
"To where?"
"Durban of course."
"Papa said I'm going to KZN."
She started taking pictures of me whilst I talked to her
with a long sad face "hash tag sister sister KZN le."
"Hai maan Kentsani stop it," I was not a selfie fan. I was
just annoyed nje.
"Happy holidays," she winked at me.
Within an hour they had all left for Durban: Uncle,
Thabiso, Naledi, Nomsa and Kentsani. Now I was the only
child left.
Later my mother woke up tired as always, she had just
arrived last night from the court to sort out her divorce
papers. To some extent, my parents' marriage had failed
in a bad way though.
"Morning my angel!"
"Mama I'm not fine at all.”
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 "Why?" she looked a bit confused. She wasn't aware of
anything.
"uBaba said I'm going to KZN."
"Come on it’s only for this holiday."
"I just don't enjoy that place mama."
It seemed as if my mother no longer had that
responsibility on me as her child since the divorce was
taking place. Vuyiso and KK had gone to Jo'burg, Kentsani
to Durban and I was going to KZN. My mother left then
for Gauteng to visit her sister who had just given birth to
a baby boy. My mind was busy, thinking about KZN. My
father got ready for the journey to KZN and with no
option I was bound to go to KZN.
We arrived later that day. That was where my
grandmother, my grandfather and my aunt from my
father's side lived. My aunt Fikile was just the same age as
Kentsani but she had dropped school. After an hour my
father departed and I was feeling lonely and sad. There
was no network and I needed to check my messages and
all the updates on social media. I was just an addict when
it comes to amaWhatsapp, Facebook and Instagram...mara
if you check my accounts amaUploads, niks. I didn't want
to face discrimination from people at all.
Fikile showed up with a bucket as I sat.
"Go and fetch water."
"Hai mxm," I took the bucket without asking for
directions.
I thought maybe I will find network on my way there.
On my way some kids shouted umhlungu umhlungu. Maybe
they had never seen such a monster like my father said. As
I walked I bumped into two black girls who were very
dark in complexion. They stopped by and we greeted each

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other.
"Saubona"
"What's up?" You know me as someone from the urban
I was not a big fan of local languages excluding afrikaans
which I was only good at but the rest I tried a bit.
"I am Matsindiso and my friend here nguCleopatra."
"Oh that's good, I'm Anne."
They walked me to the river. I was surprised to see
some people bathing and even washing in the water. I
mean they were contaminating the water yazi.
They helped me to fill the bucket and Cleopatra adraitly
put it on top of her head. Ouch that would be really painful
though.
"There is a place we want to show you before you go,"
said Matsindiso.
We walked through the bushes and arrived at a very
calm site which was beautiful though.
"Wow this is beautiful," eye catching site nje.
We chilled at the place for a while as I continued to
search for network. They were even surprised that at my
age I had a phone because they said they will only to get
cellphones at the age of twenty five. That's a whole lot of
years to go until you open a Facebook and Instagram
account.
It was getting late and they walked me home. I showed
them where I was staying and they promised to visit.
My grandmother was already waiting for me, old
people maar mxm.
"Where were you?"
"Kanti thela utatela a manzi"
"You took a long time there," she said.
"Hai don't suspect me of anything bad."

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 "Thula wena, do you know the reason why you are here
and not in Durban? it's because of that stupid behaviour
you got from your mother," she said.
"And who the hell are you to say such words about my
mother, she gave birth to an albino and you see her as a
bad person maar why? Mxm."
That was one of the thousand reasons why my parents
were going through a divorce. I walked away from my
grandmother's sight. The next morning I was told to
wake up early and clean the yard. While I was sweeping I
fell to the ground and I started bleeding on my left knee.
"Khuyenza khaleni?" Fikile came running as she heard
me screaming.
"I fell."
"Rest for a while whilst I go fetch herbs from Ma
Dhlamini," she said.
I lay down on the rough surface outside. So Fikile
prepared herbs for me. Later that day I got a little better
but I still couldn't wear skin jeans, I had to wear skirts for
a while.
The next day I met Matsindiso and Cleopatra whilst I
was just having a walk listening to music on my ipod.
"Unjani wena and why are you limping?" Said Cleopatra
looking at my knee.
"Don't worry I'm okay I just fell yesterday"
"I guess you are used to cleaning with machines and
advanced tools."
"Yah sho," I rolled my eyes, kanti yin' mina namaShow
off's nyana.
"Ulehlahla nguwe," Matsindiso really wished for it, I
could see the look on her face.
"Do you like fruits?" Asked Matsindiso.

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 "ngiyawathanda kakhulu," I said so showing a little bit of
locality and not showing off my English accent, British
like nje.
We gathered some fruits and we sat on the ground to
dig in them.
"Anne tell us about your family back home," said Cleo.
"Well I have two sisters and two twin brothers but I
am the last child though."
“Oh that's great, I had a twin sister but she died of
severe headaches that was last year,” Cleopatra shame. I
really get emotional when we talk about death.
"Oh my...I'm really sorry about that."
"KuRight," she was strong nje.
"I am the only child in my family and I'm really lonely
all the time, although my cousins usually visits...they just
show off when it comes to money," said Matsindiso.
I could feel her from her quietness though, she was
super calm and not crazy like mina who got Kentsani and
Kakathi the weirdest in the house.
"My parents are in the process of divorcing and my
father would like to marry another wife, some coloured
chick from Western Cape."
"Tjo ngiyakuzonda khonokhu, maar why?" said
Matsindiso.
"They never tell us the reasons."
We went to the stores to get traditional drinks. They
were really cool but a bit sour although the girls were
really enjoying.
The time I got home I decided to give Tiiletso a phone
call.
"Hie baby girl, missed you a lot."
"I am not fine, I'm at KZN, mxm, l don't know why your

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father hates me so much."
"Gosh, uleqiniso yini?" She was shocked though.
“Yebo sis, enza into," I mean she is the eldest maybe she
got some responsibilities nje.
"I have no option baby girl, but I promise to visit."
She dropped the phone and I started crying. My
grandfather entered in the room.
"Anne s'thandwa sami uyakhala?"
I wiped my tears and stood up to give him a hug. He
was only the person with a warm heart that moment.
"Well uBaba wakho called me and we have to be at the
Gauteng Magistrate Court."
"Yes it's about the divorce right?"
"Yebo," oupa was the only one who loved my mom from
my father's side.
"Can you excuse me?"
He excused me and I gave a call to mama.
"Mama."
"Baby girl, what's up? I'm busy right
now...ngiyakuthanda Anne, I will get back to you."
It seemed as if she was just having some rude talks with
uBaba, I could hear his voice in the background and he was
really drunk though. I just prayed he wouldn’t kill my
mother.
That evil man should rot in jail. He was the reason why
my mother had a weak backbone because she was hit when
she was pregnant with me. I just thank the Lord that I'm
not disabled although I'm living in this unchangeable state.
But why me all the time. The pain I feel gets deeper all
the time and it leaves unhealed wounds. My wish is just to
meet an albino like me but I guess I'm the only existing
fierce monster like my father said. And will I even succeed

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or death is welcoming me soon? Who knows?

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 CHAPTER THREE

GAUTENG COURT

S o the next day I got up and dressed in my long dress

and sneakers like a young makhoti, self love nje. I
tied my hair and made a pony tail. I am not a big fan of
make up so I just applied mascara and coconut lip balm.
We went to the bus stop. It was very early and quite that
you could even hear a needle fall. I didn't even have a
jacket so I could feel the July gust. We board an old bus to
Gauteng. Later we arrived in Gauteng. I had only been
there for the tennis ball tournament when I was in grade
eight. We arrived at the court. They were a lot of cars and
even Kesha's car, she really couldn't wait to ululate that
finally Mr Petersons is hers...mxm.
I heard a voice from my background.
"Anne, Anne"
Aargh this lady maar, she loved me more than I knew
and really did hate it. I turned to her and she squeezed me
into her arms. She was very happy to see me.
"I know no one is expecting me to be here at the other
side I'm here to support my husband," shame I really
wanted to laugh though she was already calling uBaba her
husband.
She looked stunning though in a yellow sari and silver
heels.
"All his children are here to support him," I shrugged
my shoulders as if she was annoying me.
"Alright Anne"
I walked away when I saw Tiiletso from a distance I ran
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to her with joy. It had been such a long time since I saw
her, I mean she is always busy with school. My sister has
always been my model from her body structure, her skin
color and dimples damn. I also adore her fashion style.
This time she was wearing boyfriend jeans, black top with
a Chinese collar and old skool vans.
Later after some speeches, divorce papers were signed
and everything had just come to an end. The happiness I
got with my mother, the stories, the treaties were all left
as memories. How was I going to cremate the moments?
I ambled to my mother with a long face.
We shared a long hug and ended up in tears. Her
mascara was melting on top her cheeks.
"Mama can I at least spend time with you?"
"Yes and your father had said something about some
family time in Polokwane so you won't have to go back to
KZN."
"Yeay" a little smile on my face though.
"But go tell your father first."
She went to sit in her car. She really don't have to be
standing for a long time because of her weak backbone.
She really refused to be going about on a wheel chair.
My shoulders shivered a bit, I mean that man had a
suicidal tongue. He really spoke dangerous words. He was
standing with Kesha by his car giggling like really crazy
love birds of the 20s.
"Hello baba," I sighed.
"Long time."
"Well unjani my angel?"
"Did he just call me angel I mean I thought I will
always be the fierce monster. I'm pretty sure he was in a
good mood.
"Excuse us Kesha."
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 "Well I will be in the car," she winked at uBaba...mxm.
"May I spend this day with my mother for the last time
nje asseblief Baba?"
"Are you sure? I hope she won't get away with you."
"Oh come on baba, she is still my mother not a stranger
in this state."
"You really don't understand what a divorce is right?"
it was like he was talking to a grade two girl.
"I know," I rolled my eyes.
"Anyway enjoy your day I will see you later."
"So I went on a ride in my mother's Mercedes."
"Siyan'api?" l was just curious.
"Trust me you are going love this," she smiled.
"My mother is full of surprises nje. I remember on my
tenth birthday she bought me a human size teddy which
would push me and fall to the ground, I was really tiny
back then.
Suddenly we stopped at one of the biggest malls in
Gauteng. We first went to some eateries. We had hot
wings, ribs, chicken salads, cheese cake and chocolate ice
cream for dessert.
"I have a surprise for you," we went to a sports wear
store on the first floor.
She went to the till operator and she was handed a
shopping bag. In the shopping bag was something black
and I tried zooming in it.
"Hai wena, close your eyes."
"Okay," I giggled.
"Surprise"
I opened my eyes and it was a black t-shirt with a
picture of us on our last vacation to Paris.
"Mama this is beautiful and I love it."

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 We later went to watch a movie and afterwards she
drove me home. At least I was going to spend the rest of
the holidays in Polokwane. I got home and everyone was
in the dining room. They were enjoying themselves vele.
My mother walked out depressed without saying a
word. I went to my room and started crying. I was not
happy at all.
The moment I lay on the bed I drifted into a deep sleep.
The next day Kesha was taking us for camping. We all
prepared our sleeping bags, coats, food, braai stand, meat,
fishing hooks, tennis pack.
I guess it was going to be fun though. My father had to
remain behind for some office work.
It was such a great vacation. At least we had to get used
to our step mother. Kakathi and Kentsani got used to her
because they were full of humour and all she could do is
laugh and laugh. We visited a lot of sites.
After three days we got back home. I was really tired,
sick and missing my mother at the same time. The next
day it was my birthday. I was finally fifteen.
I went to the park with my friends; Kamo, Nelisiwe and
Cheryl. We ordered a lot of food. It was really great. We
went home and popping up was a birthday party. My
cousins were there, my best friend, my uncle and also my
friends from Cape Town as well. The party was legit. I
enjoyed every part of it. Kakathi being the naughty guy he
mixed alcohol and juice and we all ended up drunk. Lucky
uBaba was out of town.

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 CHAPTER FOUR

3 WEEKS LATER...

I couldn't get out of bed. I was in a pain. I was feeling

dizzy. I grabbed the sheets trying to remain still. We
were only left with three days to open schools. Tiiletso
entered my room just to check on me. I was crying silently
on the bed.
She felt my forehead and I guess my temperature was
hot as hell because the way she reacted was really
something else.
"Ngifun uhamba nawe esipatale"
We went to the nearest private hospital and I went
through some tests and we were told to wait for a while
for the results. Later after a while the doctor came in
arguing with the nurse. I didn't get what all that was
about because they were speaking shangani.
"Her nerve cells..." he stared at Tiiletso.
"What about them?"
"She might be having a poor vision anytime or
nevertheless I think she should have a brain surgery"
Did he just mention something about brain surgery? I
mean I could not pay attention because of the pain that I
was feeling. The nightmare that I had before was now
coming to reality.
Tiiletso signed up some documents which I had no idea
what they were about. You could see on her face that she
was unhappy about it.
I was admitted for about a week and later after schools
had opened, my friends came visiting me everyday, and
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even some of my teachers and also my tennis coach Miss
Sheilah who loved me like no other. Everyday I was
injected three injections and well that made me a little
better and I had to go back to school.
When my father came back to town he purchased some
medicine online from India which was really expensive
than my school fees per term. He was really showing the
good side of him though.
When I got home Vuyiso was always in my room
checking on me because one thing he didn't want was for
me to wear spectacles, he knows the pain and struggle
because he also wear spectacles.
"Vuyiso go to your room I want to take a bath."
"Halla me when you are done."
"Come on dude, I will be alright."
He even chose me over his girlfriend who is always
calling him but this whole time he had to decline her calls
because of me. My sweet brother, the second after my
mother.
The next day I woke up, took a bowel of oats and a glass
of milk. Tiiletso had already left for Jo'burg. Suddenly I
received a call from my mother.
"Hey darling, how are you?"
"Super great mom, I'm getting used and I'm fighting
hard," I didn't want her to get worried.
My mother has always been careful with me because
she told me that when she gave birth to me she got in a
coma and some people said I was already dead by then. She
always told me the challenges she faced when she was
pregnant with me. How she almost got hit by a train and
some fake prophecies that I was going to be born without
my right eye.
"Baby girl I will visit you soon well right now I moved
Page | 22
to Santiago."
"Will I join you for holidays some time?" I asked with
a baby voice just to make her laugh.
"Yes dear, anyway I have to rest I have been having a
lot of clients in my office all the day so I'm now having
back pains."
"Love you Mama"
"Love you too baby take care of yourself akere?"
"Sho"
My situation was getting a little better everyday. I only
had to take the medication as prescribed. I also had to visit
the hospital often times. I started wearing sunglasses
because I was really struggling in the sun and all kinds of
bright things. I even locked up my laptop and stopped
watching television.
Vuyiso and KK had been transferred to a day school.
Now the four of us were schooling at Thabiseng
Sekondere Skool. Kesha was now six months pregnant. I
could see her tummy growing up and how she would
always invite the family doctor everyday. She had even
started her baby preparations.
Being at school was my worst nightmare especially
when it comes to discrimination, humiliation and being
bullied because of my unchangeable state. At times I felt
being all muddy and just look like a black girl or even melt
chocolate and cover my skin with it. I even thought of
buying brown shoe polish and do the same.
That term everything had changed. I got bullied
everyday. Sometimes I felt like skipping class and just go
to the dance club which was something I enjoyed at
school. At least they made us show our talents and
inspired us for better. Sadly my father was not proud of
my grades because, as a result of skipping class and
Page | 23
focusing on the dance club, I became lowest in class. I used
to appear in the top five but now I was far from that. Being
a dancer just became my ambition, I had become so
passionate about it.
"Anne I'm not proud of you at all," he folded his
newspapers.
"Kanti ngenzeni baba?"
"Your performance. You used to be the highest and
even when your teachers met me in town they would
praise me but now I walk like a fool." He continued, "Do
you want people to think that it's because you were
separated from your mother?"
"It gets harder for me everyday Baba."
"Thula wena, now you think you know what is hard
when you are still in grade nine?"
"At least I was being honest."
He slapped me on my cheek.
"You are evil Baba."
"I walked out of the house angry and went somewhere
downtown where I could not be found easily. I sat on a
bench next to the balancing rocks at the park. I started
feeling dizzy. I had forgotten to take my medication in the
afternoon. I didn't even eat lunch. I tried walking but I just
felt that I wouldn't make it. My head felt so heavy like I
was holding a thousand tonnes on top of it. I bit my lips
and closed my eyes for a while as I waited to cross the
road. I tightened up my shoe laces and lifted the glasses
up my nose.
"I can do this."
The road was actually really busy but I had to rush
home to take my medication or else I would wake up in
the hospital the following day and maybe a brain surgery
for me.
Page | 24
 I crossed the busy road and in the middle that's when I
felt worse. I had realized I had left my phone from where
I was sitting. I turned to rush and get it. On my way back
from picking my phone; my head feeling heavy I took a
step into the busy road without looking carefully at the
vehicles and immediately I got hit by a car. I felt myself
hitting against it then the tarred road and absolutely I lost
my consciousness.
The next thing I remember was waking up in the
hospital. I was having a blurry vision but I could barely
see a hand waving on top of my forehead.
"Hello, can you see me? Are you okay? Should I call the
doctor?" She kept asking questions but I couldn't answer
her.
I cleared my throat and took a deep breath.
"Doctor, Doctor she is awake," she shouted.
I really had no idea who the person could be. I was just
trying to fight the pain that I was feeling at the moment.
My head was really heavy. I couldn't turn the other side.
A nurse came in with some eye drops and dropped them
in my eyes. They were very itchy and painful.
"Ouch." I rubbed my eyes and I could now see a little
bit clearer than before.
I just realized the person who had been asking me all
these questions was a bright coloured girl with blonde
dreadlocks and nose piercing. She was just an albino like
me. I smiled at her and she smiled back.
"Well you might wonder why I am here." she
continued.
"My father's car is the one that hit you and I was the
one driving it, lucky enough I have a license I'm not
literally professional though."
I still couldn't spit a word out of my mouth. With all
Page | 25
that pain I was happy to see an albino like me. I gave her
a phone number so that she could contact Kesha. Lucky
Kesha being the responsible mother she came in just after
fifteen minutes.
The girl explained to her what had happened. The next
day Kesha came to take me because I was much better.
"Anne you have to think about it now, surgery or not?"
She asked me.
"I am not going to have a surgery, I will have to fight
it and I will make it."
I really didn't want to face death now. A lot of people
have died because of these surgeries.
The next day it was matric farewell and dance for the
grade twelve. So the guys had to look for girls they want
even if she is in grade eight, nine or ten. As a dancer at
school boys were after me. I was helping Miss Sheilah
packing the books on the book shelves. She was my
favourite teacher and my tennis coach as well. Jayden our
school head boy or let me mention that he was every girl's
crush, he entered the library with his vice NIgel who was
dating Kentsani.
"Hey Anne, how is it?" Said Nigel who liked me as ever.
"I am alright"
"Hi" Jayden shame being a charmer though.
"I have to see the Principal I'm coming back soon," said
Miss Sheilah.
"I will be outside," Nigel excused as well.
My heart started beating fast. It looked as if this was a
deal to leave Jayden. I was just having butterflies in my
tummy.
"How's the dance coming up?" I drew his attention
from looking at my legs.
"Really good but I don't have a date yet," he said with
Page | 26
a long face.
"And the girls from the dance club?"
"Eish you know they are kind of taken; Sandra is with
Thembi, Lakisha with Noah and Dreezy with T-boy," he
said.
"Damn Dreezy and T-boy shame my favourite couple
in the dance club."
"I guess you have to keep on trying before the end of
the day," I tried giving a little hope.
"I want you Anne."
"Huh?" I dropped the books in my hand.
He laughed as he helped me pick them up.
"You girls maar, you might absolutely throw up when
a guy proposes to you,” he giggled a little.
I cleared my throat. I wanted to sound smarter than he
thought. He should know that the girl standing here does
not impress with the beauty but with the brains of course.
I'm not so cheap maan.
"I am not certainly what you think about me, I'm just
really going to help you in this but only on one condition."
"Yebo Miss"
"You have to respect me as your date, be a humbled guy
and don't have your eyes on anyone else akere?" I
continued, "And also remember I'm helping you and if you
disappoint then kama will hit the fan."
It looked as if I was giving someone older than me
orders maar that is what happens in a relationship though
not really a relationship here, but even in a friendship.
Later that day I went home to prepare for the dance and
farewell party. Kentsani was Nigel's date so we both had
to prepare for it. Kentsani being a selfie addict she dressed
into her dress and heels and took some selfies.

Page | 27
 "Hash tag Mrs Kellys naah mean."
"Hai Kentsani you are crazy over that guy right? The
day you will realize he is not loyal you are going to dig
your own grave trust me."
She laughed at me, "Maar wena you are not even in love
so what do you expect, you think all these novels and
movies you watch are reality?"
"Take the facts in your plate darling."
"Mxm," she got annoyed.
We went to the school hall. A lot of people were there.
My eyes kept searching for Jayden in the crowds but I
couldn't see him. Suddenly my eyes bumped on the albino
girl I saw at the hospital the other day.
"Hey Kentsani look."
"Huh? Is Nigel and Jayden here? Where?" She was
getting impatient yazi.
"No maan I mean the girl who was at the hospital."
She walked to us. She was in a stunning black dress and
glass heels shame. Jealous down this was Nicki Minaj in
South Africa.
We shared a brief hug.
"I am glad to see you again, recovering and looking
beautiful."
"Well thank you."
"My name is Thandie by the way." Oh so she was Zulu
too. Zulu girls nje.
"I am Anne and this is my sister Kent's ani."
I was starting to feel dizzy and I realized I didn't take
my medication that evening.
"Well excuse me guys I will join you in a second."
I went to the tuckshop and grabbed an apple and
macadamia nuts. I had to make sure I had something

Page | 28
before I had taken the medication.
I went to the bathroom and tried calling on Jayden but
his phone went straight on voice mail.
When I went back. The red carpet was on and Kentsani
was with Nigel and I couldn't see Jayden anywhere.
Suddenly people made some noise and I walked closer just
to see Jayden and Thandie walking on the red carpet like
one perfect match.
I walked away disappointed. I couldn't believe this. I
went to the bathroom and washed my face. The mascaras
came off and I went outside to refresh away from the noise.
I decided to join my brothers at the photo shoot
apartment.
"Hey sister."
"Big brothers in the house what's popping?"
"And where is your partner?" Asked Vuyiso being the
sweetest brother of all the times.
"Well never mind, anyways I'm going home my head is
killing me."
"Don't forget to pray and I love you." Vuyiso the kind
hearted guy shame.
I smiled at him and walked away.
As I was about to walk out the school date I heard
someone calling me behind and it was Jayden. He was
drunk so I couldn't handle whatever he was going to spit
out of his mouth. I just walked away.
I arrived home feeling dizzy and I just drifted into a
deep sleep because no one was awake to entertain my
sickness.
The next day I got up feeling dizzy. I couldn't get out
of bed or shout out loud for Kesha. It seemed as if the
oxygen was being taken away from me but I was fighting
it. I really didn't want to die now. Kesha always being the
Page | 29
caring mother, she took me to the hospital.
I was admitted for two weeks this time. It was either a
brain surgery or die. This condition was eating up
everything in my head. I would wake up with eye bags and
sometimes my face would be totally red. The person I
didn't want get worried about this was my mother.
The next day Thandie came to visit with flowers and a
box of chocolates.
She smiled at me and I looked away.
I closed my eyes and pretended as if there was no one
in the room. Suddenly Kentsani entered.
"Wena Thandie?", Kentsani entered shouting.
"Yes, how are you Kentsani?" Said Thandie
"You stole my sister's date and the next thing you want
is to kill her," she shouted.
She was surprised. She could not even reply I could feel
her eyes staring at me with such weird smiles. She left the
flowers and walked away.
"Vuka Anne, I know you are awake," Kentsani really
knew some games I played yazi.
"Kentsani I think Thandie is just trying to be sweet I
mean look at these flowers and your favourite chocolates,"
she really got annoyed of me and left.
Later that day Kamo, Cheryl and Nelly came to visit.
They really made me smile yazi. They are the only
people who never discouraged me.
"Hey fam."
"Anne, how are you doing?"
"I am fighting it"
We really had a lot to chat about. I mean school, what's
happening on social media you know.
"So Marth-nee was sent out of school," said Kamo.

Page | 30
 "Oh really?" At least I will have peace because that girl
was really hell in school.
All the time I would stand by the school gate I would
just regret the bad days I will always face with her always
pulling me down. Would wonder what she wanted from
me? I didn't date any of her boyfriends, I never copied her
styles, I was not popular like she was.
We had a lot to giggle about. They showed some of the
videos at school, how people were using their free periods
for rap battling, dancing and all the type of things you do
at school when there is nothing to do; you name them.
Later that day they went home and I was left alone
starring at the walls of the room, feeling like a monster. I
just felt like digging my grave right next to the bed I was
lying on because the pain was extremely unconditional.
That night I had nightmares. I saw owls on the ceiling. I
saw my mother's wedding gown hanging.
I saw Kesha's unborn baby screaming at me on the
window. I shook side to side but nothing changed. I tried
drifting from all that in the nightmare but I couldn't. Even
screaming didn't help because no one heard me. I really
wanted to die. This time I couldn't resist the struggle and
the pain I was feeling.

Page | 31
 CHAPTER FIVE

SCHOOL SCANDAL

T he next morning the doctor came in and he told

me that he had to do the brain surgery. I was
scared and I couldn't stop him until Kesha came during
the visiting hours with a book in her hands.
"What is that?" I asked.
"Anne, read this book it is The BIBLE,” she said.
I wasn’t used to such a book all my life but it had always
been on mama's desk all the time. It was the same book
that remained dusty in my grandmother's bedroom and
also similar to the one uncle always read on his free time..
I took it and placed it under my pillow and I thought in
my mind that I really needed time to get used to it. I
looked at Kesha and smiled. I could see her tummy
growing more and more everyday and how she would
always come hungry and eating all the food she would
have brought for me.
"How are you feeling now?" she asked.
"Well I couldn't sleep, my head was killing me"
"The Pastor will come to see you later during the day
akere?"
"Who? Pastor! I really don't want strangers coming in
here."
"He is not a stranger Anne, he is a man of God," she
made me keep calm.
All that she was talking about really confused me —
the bible, the Pastor, God; did she wanted to make me a
Christian? I had given up being a Christian in grade six. I
Page | 32
mean going to church was not in me. I thought Pastors
always preached about stuff that wouldn't happen. They
used to say Jesus turned water into wine and a man can't
do that. They would talk about Jesus healing people but
here I was lying in pain and this Jesus could not heal me.
Why?
Visiting hours were over and Kesha asked the doctor if
the Pastor would come in to see me later day and he
agreed. I took some rest for a while because I had spent
most of the night hours awake. Suddenly there was a
gentle knock on the door. It was a man dressed in a black
suit and by his side a lady dressed in a peach outfit. They
were both carrying the book that Kesha had given me
earlier.
"Hello Anne," the man greeted me.
I didn't reply him I just kept staring at him. His face
was not familiar to me. The lady came close and touched
my hand.
"I know you are scared but we are here to save you,"
she said but what would that mean. The doctor wanted to
save me with a brain surgery but perhaps this time they
were going to save me by killing me and take me to
heaven. She took out a small bottle with oil and handed it
to the man. They smiled at each other and came closer and
closer to my bed. The man dipped his thumb in the oil and
made a little cross on my forehead. Did he knew how
heavy my head was?
Even I couldn't feel it because the pain was extremely
bad. They got on their knees and stretched their hands
towards me. I didn't know what they were doing; probably
they were praying. I guessed. They did that for half an
hour and I kept staring at them. Suddenly I felt like a stone
had hit me on my forehead.
Page | 33
 "Ouch!"
They opened their eyes and smiled. I was starting to
see a blurry vision again and feeling dizzy at the same time
but my head was drifting away from the pain that I had
been feeling.
The doctor came in and he told them it was time for me
to get some medication and rest.
They left and I couldn't believe that with their prayer I
was starting to get better. I slept like a baby that night but
suddenly I woke up early it was around three in the
morning and something just made me go through the
pages of the bible that Kesha had given me. Well it was
kind of inspiring, motivating and healing a piece of me as
well.
My eyes came across this verse which really made me
note it down and read it out again many times.

1 Corinthians 14 vs 28 : “And God has appointed in the

church first apostles, second prophets, third prophets, then
miracles, then gifts of healing, helping administrating, and
various kinds of tongues.”
The next day Jayden came to visit and he had brought
me flowers, chocolates and chicken soup.
"I thought I would make it up to you today," he said.
I could see how guilty he was but just because for the
first time I had read the bible and I was feeling as different
as ever; that really made me forget about how he had
disappointed me.
"Come here," I told him to come close and I gave him a
kiss on the cheek.
"I really didn't expect that, Anne I'm sorry," he said.
"Hai maan it's okay."
Page | 34
 "Thandie is my sister's friend and my sister had told her
to come and be my date but the moment I saw her I
thought it was you then we just rocked on the red carpet."
He said.
There was a little bit of lying in that but I really didn't
mind. He stayed for a while, made me laugh and forget
about the little pain that was left in me and then he later
went home.
Later in the evening Kesha and Kentsani came to take
me home since the doctor had discharged me and told me
I was fine and even ready for school the next day.
At least I was saved from the scary noises some patients
would be making. I guess some were even possessed; they
even had their hands and legs chained and pinned on their
beds. That was total madness not sickness.
Well I was welcomed home and Kesha cooked my
favourite dish. Vuyiso made dessert and that night he
stayed in my room until I had drifted into sleep.
The next day I woke up early and prepared to go to
school to cover up some of my assignments for the past
two weeks.
Lucky Kamo and Kelly were already in class so I had
some people to update me about everything nje.
"So what have you been up to guys, I guess I missed
much right?"
"Yes sure, examinations are just around the corner so
its study full time"
Kamo being the guy of bad news he mentioned that the
Principal wanted me in her office after assembly and I was
really curious this time. Suddenly Jayden came in our class
and Kamo and Kelly excused us and went out of the room.
"Hey, how are you feeling today?" he asked.
"Much better."
Page | 35
 "Well so will you join the dance group again?" With
nothing much to talk about the dance group comes first.
It was my thing.
"Yes, sure." I responded and continued, "Being a dancer
was all I wanted to be and then the rest follows. My father
really wants me to become a chartered accountant but
naah that's not for me; oops sorry pops."

The bell rang and we went for assembly. The Principal

did her endless speeches and announcements like it’s the
last day of school or prize giving day. I never liked her
with her scary face looking like Nanny McPhee.
So after the assembly I quickly followed her to her
office. She was not in a good mood; she was never in a good
mood most times.
"Anne what's up with your performance what are you
planning for your future if you are playing like this and
being absent all the times?" She asked.
"I was sick."
"Now I have got a big record of you being absent," she
said.
"I said I was sick; my head was killing me."
"That's not a disability akere? Wena you told uBaba
wakho that you don't want school now he thinks we
discouraged you because you are an albino."
"Maar ang'sazi utini... you will never get it when I'm
always writing reports to you about how I'm surviving in
this hell of a school"
"It's your problem because you never communicated,"
she said.
Come on, I always write reports but it seems she was
never reading any of them...I think they were the papers
she would always be throwing without reading them
Page | 36
because she never had time for her students.
She gave me one last chance and I went back to class. I
spent half of the day busy covering up and during lunch
time that's when I decided to refresh. I went to sit alone
and suddenly Jayden showed up and disturbed my alone
time.
"Are you okay?"
"Duhh I guess," I rolled my eyes.
I really wanted to be alone but it seemed as if there was
no way he was going to understand me. He shared some
snacks he had and sat next to me. I took a deep breath and
just decided to let it out because there was no one who
would understand me better.
"I can't handle people's judgements yazi? Some things
keep dragging me away from anywhere I really want to be
all the time."
"Tell me exactly what's going on?" He said.
I guess Jayden was not the right person to discuss my
issues because people kept staring at us and some
whispered in their groups. I could see their eyes staring at
us and their lips just moving about. I was not dating him
so I was not ready to handle whatever rumours they
would create.
"Jaydne just leave." I was beginning to feel out of place.
"Not until you tell me,” he squeezed my hand and pulled
me closer.
"Ouch stop it, you are hurting me." I cried.
"You are so beautiful,” he said.
I touched my face and laughed. He giggled along and I
never realised he had dimples like that.
"Would you mind if I take you out today?" he asked.
"Well I really don't mind."
He was really friendly and I didn't mind.
Page | 37
 So later I had to go home. On my way I heard Kelly
yelling out my name and running to me. She really
sounded happy.
"What is it girl? You will fall, take it easy mngani
wami."
"Tjo wena Anne you never updated me about your love
life maar why?" She said.
"You really know that I'm single wena don't be such a
freak."
"And Jayden, what's popping?" She asked.
I laughed. I really didn't think people would go that
way about my friendship with Jayden. I just thought it was
because I had never told her about that.
"He is just a friend."
She really didn't believe me though. She walked me
home pleading me to tell her that I was dating Jayden even
if I was not.
When I reached home I had nothing much to do other
than to dress in my golf t-shirt and black jeans and went
to meet Jayden who had asked me out for the day. We
went to the game shop and played some latest video
games. We also visited some dance clubs in town and even
bought videos on some dancing tutorials for the next
dancing competition. Well later that day he invited me to
a party which I had no idea what it was about. They were
a lot of people and the next thing I didn't want was for
some school friends to notice me, especially the grade
twelve guys who always humiliated me.
"Jayden do you mind walking me home, I'm not feeling
comfortable"
"Come on stay for a while, it's still twelve," he said.
I was twelve midnight and he was never bothered about

Page | 38
that. He was even starting to get drunk and I had no idea
about the location where we were at. I tried searching
online but my phone turned off.
I stood up and I had to take my way home now. I looked
for a taxi although I didn't even have ten rand with me I
had to make sure I paid him the moment I get home. My
heart was starting to beat fast. I had realised my father
was back in town and I was really going to be flogged
twenty times his age. In my life I really survived in hell. I
got home after forty five minutes and that's when I
realised Jayden had taken me out of town.
The moment I opened the door dad was the only person
still up but lucky he was on a phone call but the look he
gave me as I walked up stairs was really something else. I
went to my room and immediately got into my night wear.
I realised how hungry I was feeling so I decided to go grab
something in the kitchen. The moment I opened the door
he was standing with his leather belt. I tried walking back
but I suddenly fell because I was feeling scared and
shivering at the same time. I was beaten so bad. I could
not even sit or stand but all I could do was sleep with my
tummy against the sheets.
The next day I woke up feeling dizzy and weak. I took
a cold shower and went to school. The moment I arrived,
the people kept staring at me like I'm some new girl in
school. It was just awful. I went to the restroom and
washed my face. I had realised I was starting to sweat so
early. The bell rang and we went for assembly. The
Principal delayed for a while and she was in a bad mood I
guessed.
"Last night two of our students were noticed at some
gangster party out of town," and she continued, "I am
really disappointed, Jayden and Anne to my office right
Page | 39
now!"
All eyes were on me. I waded to the Principal's office
and Jayden followed. I didn't want to have a word with
him that moment. Later the assembly was over and people
went back to their busy classes. That lady I was beginning
to hate, bumped in front of us and told us to follow her in
her office. I really didn't want to be rude but she really
deserved hell. I knew she was sending me out of school
only for finding out I was with Jayden last night. Jayden
tried crying out loud whilst I just left her office with my
transfer letter. I went back to class to take my bag and left
the school yard before anyone had found out I had been
kicked out of school. It was still nine and I knew my father
would still be home before ten so I had to walk slowly
home just to let the time pass by. I couldn't believe I was
kicked out of school but at the other side I was happy that
I would not be receiving the kind of treatment people at
school had always given me. On my way I met Thandie
just after the chic shops.
"Hello Anne, how are you?"
"Good and you?"
"Fine, I was just worried about you," she came close and
squeezed me in her arms. I was also starting to like her
though.
"So wena you are hustling in school clothes?" She
asked.
"Not really, you will get to know what happened," of
course I never wanted to tell her about it.
"Okay then come with me to the studio."
I wouldn't mind because I really wanted to go home the
time schools would've dismissed. We walked in the busy
streets of Polokwane to the suburbs where some Mexicans
lived. We arrived at this big building which looked more
Page | 40
like the world's greatest malls. I mean it was even higher
than the buildings in Dubai. We walked in and Inside were
wonderful paintings on the walls — music instruments,
modern celebrity pictures, lyrics, quotes; you know all
things that had to do with creativity. That was all that. I
even saw this glass room where there was a group of
dancers and we walked in. It made me stop and follow the
dance moves that I was more familiar with.
"Well I see you are enjoying there?" Thandie even
giggled at me.
"The group is called the McSplash Stars of Dance from
Canada but it is even inviting talented African dancers to
it," she said.
I was starting to get interested in it because yes I had
realised that dancing is my talent and the only thing I
hoped for is that I wouldn't get discriminated in the group.
I just felt like I had found an opportunity to be successful,
famous and be someone who can be counted in the world.
We went to Thandie's apartment where she recorded
music. It had the same designs I had wished would be in
my bedroom one day. She played the guitar and sang one
of Zahara's songs – destiny. The song reminded me of my
mother. She would always play it in her car and even when
she was doing house chores. I had missed her a lot.
Sometimes I knew I was always the reason for her back
pain because if she weren’t pregnant with me that time she
wouldn't get hit; maybe she would have survived and
continued in her normal state. It made me cry.
"What's wrong Anne? You are crying?" She walked
close to me with a guilty face.
"The song reminds me of my mother."
"What happened to her? Is she dead?" She asked with
her eyes wide open.
Page | 41
 "No, we separated the day since she divorced my
father."
"Well I'm really sorry I didn't mean to, at least she is
alive," and she continued, "I lost my mother when I was
nine"
I felt more emotional especially for the fact that I was
crying and yet my mother was alive although there was a
distance between us, but here is a person whose mother
had died. I even felt guilty for my tears. I was even feeling
stupid inside and thinking why am I crying. I have to be
strong and everything will be okay. After some chatting
she later asked me to join her for lunch and it was now
twelve. We had French fries, chicken breasts, mixed fruit
salads and for dessert we had chocolate cake. The food was
very appetising. Thandie made my day and she made me
forget about what had happened earlier. She later walked
me home and I was really happy. The moment I arrived
home, Kesha and Tiiletso were about to go somewhere.
"Afternoon lovely family and where are you up to?"
They were even carrying a monarch with them.
"I am taking Kesha to the hospital, you are about to
have a baby brother," replied Tiiletso.
She had come all the way from Jo'burg just to help
Kesha; what a great work being a big sister.
I was happy that I won’t be the last child at least.
"Your brothers and Kentsani have left for Western
Cape to get their national identity cards," she said. And
continued, "And uBaba is out of town."
"Alright."
I was still fifteen so I would be getting mine the
following year and also if I might be lucky then I would
also get my license. At grade twelve I should be driving
like what the rich kids do. Although we were not rich I
Page | 42
knew I would become rich from dancing. Yes travelling
all around the world; I really couldn’t wait.
They departed and I was all alone but at least there was
wifi so I would watch movies online and also update my
social media profiles. I took a shower, dressed in one of
Vuyiso’s basketball jerseys he had given me on my
birthday.

Page | 43
 CHAPTER SIX

FINALLY, FULL TIME DANCING

L ater that night Jayden called me and apologized

about what had happened the previous night where
we had to go party with some gangs I had no idea about.
I was already kicked out of school so there was no need to
apologies. I asked him if he would be interested in the
McSplash Stars' dance group and he was interested. I
watched movies the whole night and I didn't care about
waking up having a bad headache. I took my medication
and for the first time I got on my knees to pray. I really
didn't know how to pray because I was never taught how
to.
So I just said the following words:
Lord I am a sinner but accept me as I am in your
kingdom. I am not worthy that you should enter under my
roof but only say the word and my soul shall be healed.
Amen.
I slept with hope really knowing that I will be okay.
The next day I woke up and did the house chores. I didn't
feel like going out to buy bread or vegies that morning.
People would start questioning, “Is she pregnant? Her
stepmother must be treating her so bad. Maybe her days
are few.”
I never understood the gossiping women selling
mogundu in the streets. How could a woman with three
children and five grandchildren be gossiping about a
fifteen year old girl like me? Hai they should be serious
man. So I communicated with Jayden if he would come
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pick me up and then drive to the studio. I dressed in my
grey jumpsuits, all stars sneakers and my Adidas cap. He
arrived just after forty minutes and we drove to the studio.
Everyone looked so busy. I was just happy to see Thandie
again. She was just singing with a small band of four. It
looked like they were preparing for a competition or
something. She showed us the Director who was
responsible for the McSplash Stars of Dance.
The Director was a lady, a beautiful indian with brown
eyes and smoothy silky long hair. She absolutely applied
amla oil you know.
“Get in,” she looked so welcoming even from her voice
and accent unlike the Principal who was always shouting
about stupid things; shame.
I am Anne Petersons and my company here is jayden
Dimakang. We would like to join the McSplash Stars of
Dance.” I was nervous as if I was on some type of job
interview.
“Interesting. It’s really easy but this is not just for fun,”
she instructed us and continued, “We compete for fame.
Anyway is there any dance group you have been to?”
“Well yes, at school we have a dance club and we are
pretty sure this is for us,” said Jayden.
We signed in some information while she called the
group President and we waited patiently because the call
was quite long.
“Well, sounds great, the group President is currently
out of town but she needs to see you two at six today so
be ready and impress her with the dance moves you have
got,” she said.
“Thank you very much,” I was happy that day.
I was really happy like an elected president and I was
really proud of myself and having greater plans for the
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future. I really wanted to accomplish something really
great in life. We went back to Thandie and her band. She
was really happy and gave us hope that we would make it.
She took us out for lunch and it was just great hanging
out with such talented youth. We really had fun and later
went back to the studio to meet the President. I was really
nervous. We were directed to the boardroom and waited
for her to come. Suddenly she came in and her assistant
gave us signals that we should stand up. Tjo she was so
respected though she looked the same age as Kentsani. We
did our introductions and she told her assistant to book
for the plane to Cape Town.
“Black and albino, I never thought it was such a perfect
match,” she giggled.
Was she making fun out of our friendship or? I didn’t
want jokes at that time.
“I am Kayla Quinton, the group president,” she
introduced herself and continued, “Without wasting time
show me what you guys got.”
So the first song was played and I had something in
common. I made some cool moves and Jayden finished off.
Suddenly her face reacted in a way that she didn't like our
moves.
“Hold on!” She stopped us.
“We can do another one, and we won’t disappoint you
please.”
The assistant played another song and it was one of my
favourite songs by Usher. I danced like no one was
watching. She clapped her wands and I stopped.
“Damn girl where did you get that from?” she asked
with a smile on her face.
“I guess it exists naturally.” I had impressed her.
“Well guys I love your dance moves and the fact that
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you are fit is just legit but when you are in the dance group
please avoid eating junky foods, chocolates and drinking
alcohol,” she said instructed us.
I silently laughed because I am a big fan of chocolates
and as for Jayden he can't resist alcohol; shame. I was
super excited now that we are part of the group. The
group was also on the internet and our names were also
uploaded to be website. We were introduced to the group
members and later I walked home. I was alone so there
would be no one to entertain or tell the good news to.
Jayden took his way too.
I slept like a baby that night and the next day I woke
up just after I heard a knock on the door. Who could it be
that early? It was Nigel on the door and Kentsani was not
even around.
“Hi Anne I'm not here to see Kentsani. I just want to
tell you that Jayden was involved in a car accident
yesterday,” he said.
“You can't be serious. I was with him yesterday.”
“Come with me and you will see for yourself.”
I got in my morning shoes though I was still in my
pyjamas, but I was really curious so we had to rush to the
hospital. We drove to the Bavlis Private Hospital. My eyes
dissolved in tears when I saw Jayden in an extremely bad
condition. They were machines all around him and they
were making all beeping sounds.
“What happened to him?”
“He had an accident downtown on his way home,” said
Nigel.
I started crying with my knees on the ground. I really
didn't want to lose Jayden now. He was so good to me.
Well that night I slept in the hospital praying that the
Lord will heal the pain that he was feeling. The next
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morning his mother was visiting so I had to go home. On
my way I received a call that Kentsani and the twins were
coming back home. I rushed home to clean up all the mess
because I hadn't cleaned up since the day before. I really
didn't want them to be asking me about why my eyes were
bloodshot red because I had been crying the whole night.
It even made my head heavy because I didn't even eat or
take my medication.

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 CHAPTER SEVEN

THE BAD EXPERIENCE

A fter two weeks Jayden was beginning to recover

and I didn't want him to miss the dancing sessions.
I had to join him for jogging and muscle stretching so that
he would be the best dancer again. His mother was
beginning to be acquainted with me and I actually created
time to meet his siblings as well. His birthday was also
around the corner and I had to do something big for my
buddy. Am I not being kind enough? Okay I have never
felt the same way for someone but Jayden was really more
than a friend and I cared for the bond we shared. I had to
meet up with Nigel and organise something for Jayden.
All was sorted. When I got home Kesha was now back
home with a baby – my baby sister. I was so happy. I
gently got hold of her in my arms. She was so beautiful
just like her mother.
“Her name is Kylie,” said Kesha.
I was so happy, I mean I had no reason to hate her. Why
hate her for goodness sake? She had brought happiness in
the family. Kesha had to look for a nanny because she had
to start work the following week but I would be grateful
babysitting Kylie. Although she had asked me about
school, I really didn't want to tell her what had happened.
Suddenly I received a call from Jayden and he was
sounding better than I thought he would be. I decided to
go to his place and spend time with him. I started to feel
more comfortable with him.
“So what have you been up to?” he asked.
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 “Nothing much.” I didn't want to spit out the surprise
about the surprise.
We had a lot of fun with his siblings and they later
walked me home. At least now I had people who didn't
discriminate me. Well I arrived home and my father had
also just arrived.
“Welcome home baba,” we shared a brief hug.
“We have a new baby and we are treating her like a
princess.”
He smiled at me and said, “My daughter I'm really
proud of you and I hope you are improving in your
academics,” he said. Tjo if he only knew I had been kicked
out of school he would kill me straight away. So later we
had dinner and afterwards he called me to his office.
“Well Anne your mother just told me about you
babysitting Kyle what about school? Tell me what's going
on?” That was a very hard question to answer..
“Well baba I was kicked out of school because of
attending one of some gangster parties out of town. That
was the night I came late.”
“What!” He stood up and made fists with both his
hands.
“Baba I don't belong to that place I just want to be a
dancer.” I opened up but with my fear filled eyes wide
open. He slapped me and tears filled my eyes were.
“I paid school fees for you since kindergarten and now
you're in grade nine is this how you repay me?” He was
really angry for sure.
“I have realised I have a talent that totally flows in my
veins, I'm into it and you just don't really understand.” I
had to boldly argue.
“I really don't and I will never do, now get out of my

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sight!” he shouted angrily.
Who was going to be proud of me? Who was going to
support me in the dance competitions? I started crying on
my way out. I really didn't want to lose control. I ran in
the dark wishing I would find my way out of all this. I
went to the nearest bottle store and for the first time I
drank beer. I just wanted to get drunk and get myself into
a new habit. I had heard people say that drinking and
smoking makes you stress free. I really had to give it a try
because I was fed up. The biggest problem of my life was
my father, he had always argued with me and never
protected me from my own thoughts.
“Dear don't take too much okay?” Said the barman.
I started feeling dizzy after a few glasses and my head
got heavy. The barman started getting worried about me.
I was feeling weak and I couldn't stand.
“I want to lock the bar it's now getting late,” said the
barman.
“Mxm ng'zohamba manje...but I'm not going back to that
house, that son of a bitch is killing me everyday.”
He didn't even pay attention. He walked me out and
stopped a car that was passing by so that I would get
home. I got in the car and the driver kept asking for
directions to my place but I just felt so weak and dizzy the
more.
“Help me out, you are a man just take me to your place.”
“Are you sure wena ntombi?” He asked.
He really looked like a businessman. We drove to his
house and it was indeed a big mansion.
“And wena since when do you bring ama side chicks
akho to my house?” Shouted a pregnant lady standing on
the main door.

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 “Hey wena Lettie, she is just a poor girl seeking help.”
He said.
I followed the man indoors and I was starting to get a
little sober. He showed me the guestroom and I quickly
fell asleep.
The couple kept shouting at each other in their
bedroom.
“Dav, kanti yini iproblem yakho,” she continued, “That
girl is drunk and you just picked her up in the streets to
come and sleep in my house. I really don’t want this. I
heard that an albino child is a bad luck.”
The moment I heard her last words I felt like crying,
and at the same time, as if I should wake up and go to slap
her.
The next morning I woke up a bit late feeling tired and
at the same time I was hungry. I was feeling ashamed of
myself. I couldn't get out of the room. I just felt like
jumping through the window when suddenly the
pregnant lady came in.
“What time will you be on your way out, the maid is
about to tidy up the guestrooms?” she said.
“Well actually now.” I took my sneakers and my phone.
“May the Lord bless you. Thank you.” I said.
She showed me the way out and I took a taxi home. The
moment I was on my way back home I realised I had really
travelled a long distance last night. I arrived home and the
doors were locked. Where could everyone be?
I also had to get the party things ready so I just decided
to go to town and buy Jayden some goodies and also his
birthday present. I went home really knowing I won’t be
having the same peace again. Vuyiso and Kakathi were
back at least.
“Where is Kesha?” I asked them.
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 “Because she has a baby now you want to teach Kylie
your dance moves? Mxm” Kakathi responded.
“Are you crazy dude? I'm not your buddy akere? What
does that has to do with my dancing career?” He was
really out of his senses.
“Dancing career? I mean compare yourself with me, the
future scientist.” he said.
I almost slapped him, like seriously why would he say
that. So the next day it was Jayden's birthday. I woke up
early and we had to prepare for the party at the park.
Everything was done as planned. We danced, ate and had
a lot of fun. Suddenly he gathered everyone and he looked
depressed with what he was about to say.
“Well thank you a lot for this party guys, well I guess
this will turn into a farewell party after all,” he said.
I was surprised. Where would he be going after all he
was raised in Polokwane? This was his home nje.
“Anne, I know this will hurt you the most but I'm
leaving for good.” He further pricked my heart and
continued, “I am moving to Germany.”
I giggled with tears in my eyes. “No no! Tell me you
are joking, I know people always do pranks on their
birthdays and Jayden you are not an exception. Just tell
me that you are lying.”
He came close to me and squeezed me in his arms. At
that moment I realised he was telling the truth. Jayden
had become my best friend and I couldn't stand losing him.
I really cried and it made people emotional. The disk jocky
played one of the goodbye songs. I was ready to die if
everything was going to turn out this way. His phone rang
and it was his mother telling him to be ready for the early
flight the next day. I walked him home in tears and he kept

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comforting me but that really didn't work. I didn't want to
go home in that state so I walked to the bar again.
This time I really wanted to do some of drug dealing
for real. I guess the moment you get high after sniffing
them all will be totally okay. I made a deal with the bar
man and he drove me to one drug dealer's house. The drug
dealer was more like Rick Ross, I mean money on the table
and the girls all over his house like The Kardashians.
My phone rang and it was my mother in Santiago. For
the first time I declined her call.
“Okay let's make a deal, you will work for me in a men's
club as a stripper and I will give you drugs and thirty five
thousand rands every week, deal?”
Tjo that was really a lot. I mean I wouldn't say no after
all this was exactly what I wanted. I was also given a place
to stay after all. He called one of the strippers and we
drove to another mansion. They were a lot of ladies living
there. They were all dressed in tiny strips of clothing. I
was sharing a room with one of his girlfriends who looked
like NIcki Minaj nje.
“So I will be your roommate and I'm Lakitah,” she said.
“How do you feel being a stripper?” I was really getting
nervous after all I wanted to know.
“Just because I get paid, I have to manage it after all
because I can’t go back to my miserable past,” she said.
“Tell me about it.” I was curious now.
“I grew up with my mother in KZN after my father had
remarried in Gauteng. My mother had a heart problem so
I had to drop school and work on farms for the sake of my
siblings.” She continued, “My mother died and I received
a letter from a friend about being a stripper and getting
paid every week so this is what I do and I always send
money for my siblings back home.” She said.
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 What a quite touching history. We talked and talked
and I was later feeling sleepy then I had to sleep. I went
to sleep knowing that the following day I was working
and getting paid a lot of money. I would even use the
money to book a plane and visit Jayden in Germany. He
even sent messages appreciating everything I had done to
him.
The next morning I woke up and Lakitah showed me a
shopping bag. They matched a suit of a crop top and a mini
skirt.
“No thanks, I will wear my jeans.” I don’t wear skirts.
“Listen you are now a stripper so you have to do what
other strippers do.” She said.
“Maar I can’t”
Suddenly they popped out with a gun at her right hand.
“Are you going to do it or not?" she asked.
Just because I was scared, I dressed into the stripper
wear. It was exposing a lot and I didn't feel comfortable.
We drove to the club and there were some strippers’ pole
dancing. I was told to join in but as someone who was used
to hip hop dancing I started doing and rocking some cool
moves. Suddenly Lakitah dragged me outside.
“This is not Chris Brown's club, get inside and do the
right thing.”
I tried and tried and after two weeks I was getting used
to it. It was almost my fourth week and Lakitah gave me
a different offer, and by the way, they hadn't been paying
me since the first week.
“You know the business man who owns three ships,” I
nodded and she continued, “Mamela, he needs you at his
place tonight and he is giving you a cheque of sixty
thousand rands,” she said.
“Tjo I'm going for that, I will get ready.”
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 She took me to the salon and I had to get a new
hairstyle. Dreadlocks looked really good on me. The kind
of life I was beginning to live made me forget about all my
struggles as an albino. Later that night I went to the man's
house; it was like a castle in Disney land. Tjo if I get
married to a man like this, it will be heaven on earth. He
welcomed me in and locked all the doors which were
remote controlled.
“You live alone?” I asked.
“Yes baby girl,” he continued, “Come near me.”
“No, I need to visit the bathroom first.”
He pinned me against the walls and started touching
me. The next thing he had his hand in my pants.
“Stop!”
I pushed him and tried to unlock the door. I was really
getting scared. I opened the window and he pushed me on
the sofa. He squeezed my both hands in his and used his
teeth to unbutton my top. He was very strong, I swear I
couldn't even resist him. He rapped me and this wasn't my
first struggle. It also happened when I was in grade seven.
After that he ordered some kidnappers and I was locked
up at some garage far away. I felt like I was in hell guys. I
was in pain. It was just one of different feelings. I really
wanted to die. I was kidnapped for seven weeks. The day
I escaped I went to Lakitah's mansion to get my pay.
“Lakitah I'm here for imali yami.”
“Imali yakho? You didn't do your work as told.”
“Didn't I do the stripper thing? Didn’t I sleep with that
man?”
“You didn't,” she said.
“Listen young lady I'm pregnant uyang'zwa? So I want
my money now.”
“Go to school young guy and make your mommy proud
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akere?” She said
“Mxm”
I can't believe this is how I got paid and I was also
pregnant. I started sleeping in the streets. I started
missing my mother. I had lost my phone so there was no
communication. I later received a letter that she had
passed away after she had an accident and her back bone
broke.
My fellow peers you couldn't believe the much pain that
I was feeling. I fed on dry pieces of bread in the streets. I
would hide my face when I saw my old friends from school
in the streets. Until one day I was ready to commit suicide.
I tied a rope in the tree and climbed up the tree ready for
death. Suddenly it was all in a nightmare, just scary events
while I was asleep. I was later helped by the Pastor who
had prayed for me the other time in hospital. I started
living at an orphanage, not as an orphan but I taught some
orphans how to dance. After a few months I gave birth to
a baby boy who died after a year because of blindness. It
was really hard for me. I continued teaching orphans and
nothing went different. The Pastor always invited me to
church but it never transformed my life so quick. The
elders are never wrong when they say look before you leap,
follow the river and you will find a sea. I started to realise the
value of life after all and I had to fight harder for the best
of life.

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