THE NEVADA TIMES

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Breaking News: Britney in the

Bikini Bottom
RACHEL ROMERO
On Monday, June 1st, Brittney Spears posted on
her Instagram story asking fans, “Where's the
best place to get a burger?” She also added,
“I'll fly anywhere for a good burger.” Fans
started to comment, “Go to the Krusty Krab.”, as
a joke. By Tuesday morning Spears had
uploaded another video of her on a
boat informing fans that she was on her way to
the Bikini Bottom. Later that day photos were
posted of Brittney meeting SpongeBob and
taking a tour of the Bikini Bottom. Fans from all
over are in shock to find out that the Bikini
Bottom does exist, and everyone wants answers
to where it is. The only question
we have to ask is, when does the episode
of Brittney's visit to the Bikini Bottom air?

Check out events below at McCarran
Airport, all at 8 PM:
Live w/Carlos Santana: 7/10
Learn to Salsa: 8/6
Portuguese 101: 9/15
BREAKING: Scientists discover In other news, a new outbreak has
Coronavirus cure and vaccine. Dr. Fauci emerged! This time, the SARS is back
speaks to the press this Sunday at 2 PM and headed for Eastern Europe, after first
PST. being discovered in New Zealand.

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Monday
THE NEVADA TIMES
-THE DIGITAL NEWSPAPER -
Daenerys Targaryen Spotted ALIVE at King's Towers in LA
KAYLA XAYPANYA
The profound Khaleesi, Mother of Dragons,
was seen in Los Angeles, CA, walking into
the infamous King's Towers Hotel, where
aspiring actor, Jamie King (Jamie Foxx)
works. Inside information was reported from
one of the guests in the hotel. Daenerys
looked awfully out of place in her winter coat
and boots, coat dripping blood from her
chest. She seemed to be limping her way to
the front desk when Jamie King dropped a
stack of envelopes at the sight of her. He
stood frozen in shock as the beautifully long,
wavy, white haired woman stuttered and
gasped for help.
Jamie's coworker, Braxton, immediately
jumped up to help the aching beauty. "K-
Khaleesi!...Daenerys-I'm sorry, I mean m-my
Queen! What happened?!"
DIVYA HALTHORE
JUNE 2020
She couldn't form a sentence or word and just
clutched her chest. "Jamie! What in the same heck
are you doing? Come help me!" Jamie finally
snapped out of it and said, "Uh-uh, I don't know
where she been! Get her up off the floor, Braxton,
she drippin' all over the wood!" They both
wondered how the woman of Westeros ended up
in the United States, let alone in their hotel.
Braxton tried guiding her to the couch when
Daenerys suddenly removed herself from his
grasp. She fled out the front doors yelling
obscenities like, "absurd, strange men" and
refusing the help of the two.
Braxton incredulously followed her movements
with his eyes when Jamie shouted, "Well, we ain't
want you anyway! That's why the Starks rule the
damn kingdoms!" Queen Daenerys was last seen
riding Drogon above the streets of LA, unknown
where their whereabouts will land next.
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 DIVYA HALTHORE
Monday
THE NEVADA TIMES JUNE 2020

-THE DIGITAL NEWSPAPER -

BILL COSBY
GETS A NEW
JOB ?
CYNTHIA AMARILLAS
Corona Who? Vegas has finally opened its
doors to the world! We have all waited the for
the day we can go and gamble our stimulus
checks away while getting free drinks every
10 minutes. With thousands of people on
unemployment Circus Circus is now in high
demand for bartenders at their new bar called
"Laced" . A local source has told us that a
celebrity has been in training to start working
the night shift. Drinks are half off all night and
they pour generously. We reached out to
Circus Circus for a comment but no one can
seem to remember to call us back. They are
still taking applications online but spots are
filling up pretty fast.
JEDD CLAMPETT; 90 DAY
DISASTER
JESSIKA WASS
Last Saturday, June 6, 2020, Mr. When the episode aired on TLC,
Jed Clempett went onto Twitter fans were quick to comment their
and threw fans in a frenzy. The opinions on the Millionaire’s poor
recently made millionaire had treatment of the lady. Clampett’s
joined the cast of 90 Day response seemed to have added
Fiancé, introducing the world flames to the fire when he called the
to his internet, Russia born, love fans of the show “mindless critter-
Katya Polvich. Waiting years to snappers who need a lesson in bear
meet the proclaimed love of his wrestling”. It is speculated that this
life, Clampett finally got the comment may have indeed come
chance when she agreed to fly from his well-known tomboy
out to Beverly Hills earlier this daughter, Elly May Clampett. It is
year. Surely the language unclear the current status of the
barrier between these two love relationship of Clampett and his
birds was hard enough but fiancé, who some claim to have
meeting the rest of the Clampett seen around town with Sonny
clan turned out to be too much Drysdale, stepson to the wealthy
for the young woman. When she banker Milburn Drysdale. Fans
had first flown out, she was met from all over wait to find out the
by Jedd and his family. truth in the next “Tell All” episode
Expecting the luxuries a of 90 Day Fiancé, airing Sunday,
millionaire could provide her, June 14, 2020 at 9/8c.
she was utterly disappointed
when she was met at the airport
in a horse-drawn wagon. Almost
getting injured when Jethro
Clampett threw her over his
shoulder and carried her out to
the worn-down transport, Katya
was in a rush to escape. When
the clan got to their Beverly
Hills Mansion, Katya
immediately demanding getting
a hotel suite at the Ramada.

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 DIVYA HALTHORE
Monday
THE NEVADA TIMES JUNE 2020

-THE DIGITAL NEWSPAPER -

MTV'S "THE CHALLENGE" IS FEATURING MEMBERS FROM THE

ORIGINAL "REAL WORLD NEW YORK", AIRED IN 1992, FOR
"CHALLENGE'S" 36TH SEASON

DAVID SLIFKIN

In a transparent attempt to fight off

recent allegations of "ageism", MTV
networks flagship game show "The
Challenge" will be bringing back
original cast members from the first
"Real World New York" for its
upcoming 36 season. The "Real World
New York" was filmed in 1991,
meaning that this upcoming
"Challenge" season will feature
competitors that first graced MTV's
screen 30 years ago. Suzanne Daniels,
President of MTV programming said,
"By bringing back the O.G. (original
gangster) crew from "Real World New
York" to compete in the upcoming
season of "The Challenge", we will
have competitors ranging in from age
19 to 57 battling it out for the prize
money.
This should quell any talk of our
network supporting ageism in our
casting procedures. It should also
set up some interesting dating
dynamics for the single cast
members as many of our younger
competitors have severe Daddy
and Mommy issues!". Original
"Real World New York" heartthrob,
Eric Nies - who will turn 54 during
filming of the upcoming
"Challenge" season added, "I am
very happy to get back into the
MTV spotlight so that I can
reconnect with America's youth.
This time around instead of sleeping
with most of my fans, I hope to
connect with people on a spiritual
level and provide inspiration as to
what they can achieve." Eric Nies,
after spending several years hosting
dance programs on MTV continued
on to become a spiritualist, well-
being coach and crystal expert. Nies
enjoyed an additional 15 minutes of
fame recently when he went public
with his ritual of drinking his own
urine daily. Nies credits this habit
with his health and vitality and he
looks forward to preaching its merits
during this upcoming "Challenge"
season.

J.K ROWLING COMING

OUT... WHAT!
ERIC BEMOLL

Earlier this week, Ms. Rowling was in the news about her
stance about the transgender community. The words spoken
were absolutely crazy. The true breaking news is that she
was just caught coming out of her hotel room with her female
lover. After being confronted by the local media, she had
made an announcement to the world that she was bisexual
She stated that her comments from earlier this week
was just to throw everyone off as well as make the world
think that she was not this way. She apologizes from the
bottom of her heart. Is it a little too late? Only time will tell.