Lauren Carroll

Communications 2206
November 14, 2018
Writing Assignment 2

Hearing is something that happens almost constantly, but listening may not always be

happening, whether that is intentional or not. Listening is important to any type of relationship;

whether it be with personal or business. Too often, people interchange the words listening and

hearing even though they mean two different things. Listening is the “process of receiving and

responding to others messages” (Adler 206), while hearing is the “process in which sound waves

strike the eardrum and cause vibrations that are transmitted to the brain” (Adler 206). In other

words, listening is actually hearing and understanding the words, while hearing is the sound

waves that are necessary in order to be able to have words to understand. Hearing is automatic

and there is no way to stop this process, unlike listening that can be stopped or block out what

you don’t want to hear. Imagine someone is trying to talk to you and you can hear the noise of

their voice, but you are not actually listening to the words that are being said. That is the

important difference between listening and hearing.

The first listening style is task-oriented and describes people who are “most concerned

with efficiency and accomplishing the job at hand” (Adler 208). This means that people who are

task-oriented listeners want no distractions and only want to focus on the important things. To

these people, “time is valuable,” which is helpful for timeliness but could be harmful to

relationships because others may see it as having no empathy. As for my results, I scored 30 out

of 42. I feel this says something important about my listening skills because it shows that I want

to get to the main point, but also do not want to miss out on some details within it. I do often find

myself bored if a person is telling an excessively long story, but do want to hear some details in
order to gain insight into the important information, which I feel carries over into the next

listening style.

The next listening style is relational, which was my second highest score for all four

styles. Relational listening is defined by Adler as being “most concerned with building emotional

closeness with others” (208). People that are mainly this type of listeners are generally

“extroverted, attentive, and friendly” (Adler 208). To me, these people would be empathetic with

others and is the most personal of the four styles. This style could cause issues because others

may not be as much of a “people person” as the listener and when they are being caring, it could

come off as being intrusive. It makes sense that this would be a high score for me because I

enjoy listening to people and creating a bond or even just slightly connecting with someone

through conversation. As I stated, this was my second highest score with 34 out of 42 possible

points, just two points behind the next style.

Critical listening is the third style and is my highest score at 36 out of 42. Critical

listening, as defined by Adler, is the “strong desire to evaluate messages” (208). These types of

listeners want to understand the message, but also figure out how to help discover or solve an

issue. The textbook states that it is “especially helpful when trying to investigate a problem” but

also could be a problem in itself because other people may think they are trying to “nitpick

everything” said (Adler 210). I understand how this is my highest scorer because I want to

understand as much as possible about a situation. Even though I want to know the details about

something, I often cannot hold judgement, like the last and lowest scoring style.

Analytical listening is the fourth and final listening style, but also my lowest scoring style

at 25 out of 45. I have found it difficult in certain situations to hold off judging something until I

know the whole story, which is what analytical listeners do. By textbook definition, it means
being “concerned about attending to the full message before coming to judgement” (Adler 208).

This involves finding out as many details as possible and then coming to a conclusion about the

situation. This could be an issue because, depending on the situation, there may not be enough

time to discover each and every detail necessary to come to an nonjudgmental conclusion.

After learning about the styles and seeing my scores for each category, I concluded that

my listening skills are high in being personal and critical, but low in being focused and

analytical. I want to find everything out that I can and get details but want to do it in a timely

manner, though I keep other people’s feelings in the back of my mind and want to connect with

them. I can be focused on a main point but can also find it difficult to not rush judgement on a

situation.

There are many things that can be changed about my listening skills to strengthen my

relationships with others through listening. First, to improve my analytical thinking, I need to

start listening to a full story and get more details before I draw up a conclusion of what I feel.

Second, focusing more on a single main point or a few main points will allow me to stay

efficient. My lowest score was analytical listening and I feel that will be a hard skill for me to

improve, not because I am judgmental, but because I can start to judge after just a few details.

The first listening response I could use more often is questioning and it is defined as when the

“listener asks the speaker for additional information” (Adler 217). This would help improve my

listening skills because it would allow me to gain more information about something that I do not

understand or get clarification on something that I question. Another response is silent listening

which is defined as “staying attentive and nonverbally responsive without offering any verbal

feedback” (Adler 217). Basically, this response means staying quiet and listening to everything
that the speaker says, which would improve my analytical listening skills greatly because it

would allow me to gain all the knowledge that they care to give.

A nonverbal skill that would assist the improvement process is paralanguage. This would

assist in the response of questioning because it is the “way a message is spoken” (Adler 190). If

my questions have the wrong tone or even wrong volume, the other person may become

offended and think that I am judging. This could lead to someone thinking I am using counterfeit

questions, or questions that are attempting to tell them how I feel about the situation, and cause

false answers or holding back. Another nonverbal skill would be the “study of how people

communicate through bodily movements,” or kinesics (Adler 186). This could assist in the

response of silent listening because it would show my interest in the conversation without

speaking to the other person. Having a good posture, leaning in towards but not too close, along

with eye contact would show that I care about what the speaker is saying.

Learning listening styles allowed me to discover how I listen best and what areas need

improvement. I listen to people with a genuine concern for their feelings, but may not always be

fully nonjudgmental from the start. Also, I like to evaluate what is being said and find out details

to pick out information, but have issues being task-oriented at all times. There are many ways I

can improve my skills, including questioning with a good tone of voice and silently listening

with positive body language. Everyone most likely has many styles of listening, but the main

style may just tell you more about the person who is listening.

Works Cited

Adler, Ronald B. (Ronald Brian), et al. Interplay: the Process of Interpersonal

Communication. 13th ed., Oxford University Pres, 2015.