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The Underground: January 2011
The Underground: January 2011
Brazos Books
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Cole Manning Feature Correspondent affiliated with or sanctioned by Midway High School. Views expressed do not necessarily reflect those of the entire newspa-
per staff, the student body as a whole, administrators, or Midway ISD. This newspaper does not discriminate on the basis of
sex, disability, race, color, age or national orgin in its educational programs, activities or employment as required by Title IX,
Section 504 and Title VI. The Underground is free for all students, with production costs offset by advertisements. Ads are
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The Underground 3
Before After
Sports 5
Dallas Fills Schedule Goodell Creates Detroit
with Midway Games Redemption Plan
In a press conference on you make decisions that you NFL
Tuesday, Dallas Cowboys would not normally make.” Commis-
owner Jerry Jones an- When asked for comment, sioner Roger
nounced that the Cowboys MHS Head Football Coach Goodell
would play an eight game Terry Gambill made clear announced
series with the Midway Pan- his surprise with the Cow- Saturday his
thers for the 2011 season. boy’s decision. solution to
“This decision was made “If they don’t want to the Detroit
in response to the recent lose again why in the world Lion’s
lack of wins,” Jones said. are they playing Midway?” shortage of
“We in Dallas believe that Gambill said. “We’ve done success.
diversifying our schedule better at Cowboy stadium “In re-
may help solve that prob- than they have.” sponse to
lem.” Jones also reportedly ap- the contin-
This series will substitute pealed to the NFL to fine ued failure
in for eight of the tougher a reported 31 NFL teams of the De-
games on the Dallas sched- because they had “an unfair troit football
ule. NFL Commissioner advantage” over the Cow- program, the
Roger Goodell applauded boys since their players NFL board
the decision. actually cared about some- has decided
“This is just the first step thing other than themselves. to instate a
in a plan to rebuild the fran- Jones is daily sending in number of changes to cer- balance out the totals of all
chise,” Goodell said. appeals to the NFL to make tain NFL rules and regula- 32 teams and at the moment
Jones said substituting in an exception of the Dallas tions,” Goodell said during this seems to be the only
MHS was not at all a tough Cowboys in order to find a Monday’s press conference. way.”
decision and that it was a way to reincarnate the once Next season Detroit’s sal- This did not appease all
completely logical option. great team. ary cap will be deleted and the critics. In fact New
“If a team is struggling a harsher cap will be placed England Patriots’ coach Bill
on all other programs, and Belichick led a rally outside
all well preforming non-De- the commissioner’s office
troit players will be relocat- against the plan.
ed to the Lion’s roster. All “I believe that we should
empty slots in other team’s not be punished just because
rosters will subsequently be one team can’t win a game,”
filled with high school Divi- Belichick said.
sion 1A players and NFL Goodell says he under-
retirees. stands Belichick’s position
Critics of the plan say but is out of options.
that this may put an unfair “Until someone comes up
advantage on the side of with a better suggestion this
Detroit. is what’s going to happen.”
“I believe that this may
bring somewhat of an ad-
vantage to this football pro-
gram,” Goodell responded. Travis Morrow
“But the NFL is trying to Sports Editor
Backspace 7
Cole Manning his way. We’d been
Feature Correspondent running from him for
too long; it was time
to head south to Can-
I was sitting there with ada. According to Mr.
a half empty bottle of Tinkles the only way to
Adventuretime and a travel was by flamingo.
mean mug from hell. To That was impossible
my left sat Mr. Tinkles, though because the last
my only companion in flamingo dealership
this world of cucumbers had closed in 1498 and
and closet beatings. He renting one was far too
had just purchased a new expensive.
salt shaker, and as he later I suggested the bus, but Mr. “Why do I hear Jefferson Air-
informed me he planned Tinkles harbored a strong fear of plane in my thigh?” I screamed. “Is
to distribute it among the the ax bandits and Rosa Parks that it too much to ask for a Jamaican
poor and fragile. seemed to populate the buses. Salad pie?”
I thought that was fan- Mr. Tinkles made it to the bus My pain transcended generations
tastic, but what I thought station before being gripped by and soon I was defending myself
was even more fantastic uncontrollable fear and fleeing against the bounty hunters who
was the path my feet into the woods. I followed him and were trying to take my freedom.
seemed to be walking. soon found him amongst a group of And then they were gone. I
One after another they Native American bears. The bears awoke at the foot of Mr. Tinkles
paced up the wall, as if were burning sage and passing a bed in a Montreal Motel 6. He in-
they were kicking around peace pipe. We naturally joined formed me that Dave would never
the ground of their home them, and soon my introspective find us here. If only bubbles were
town. Strange. thoughts took over my mouth. safe.
I turned my
attention to
Mr. Tinkles.
Despite his
Puerto Rican
flavor, he was
quite true to
his Asian cul-
ture. I combed
my eyes after
his silken fur
and black
talons. Losing
him would be
an inconve-
nience.
We had
heard on the
wind that
Dave was on