LIL Quark-FM 1/22/01 8:42 AM Page 7

Introduction • 7

the things that were supposed to provide significance in life — edu-

cation, success, relationships, money — were in themselves
ephemeral, meaningless, and empty. There didn’t seem to be any-
thing else to fill the void. I was deeply disillusioned and depressed,
and basically remained in that state for several years.
In retrospect, I can see that I was going through an experience
that all of us must pass through at one time or another (or many
times) — what mystics call the piercing of the veil of illusion. It’s
the point where we begin to recognize that our physical world is
not the ultimate reality and we turn inward to discover the spiritu-
al aspect of our existence. At these times, we usually feel, emo-
tionally, that we are hitting bottom, but as we actually hit bottom
it’s as if we fall through a trap door into a new place — the inner
realm of the soul, where we can begin to explore our connection
to life in a whole new way. When we can face our fears and move
through such a “dark night of the soul,” we are greeted by the
dawn of a profound new adventure.

New Experiences

Over the next few years, I began to have new experiences, open-
ings, a growing awareness that did not fit into my former rational
framework. In college, I studied psychology and got involved in some
encounter groups and sensitivity training groups that, in addition
to allowing me to release old emotional pain, led me to new feelings
of love, joy, and oneness with all. I studied dance and discovered that
when I was dancing, I would often have an exhilarating feeling, as if