Evaluation

This evaluation will discuss how the short story “The Pedestrian” by Ray Bradbury (1951) fits into

The Craft of Writing Module (NESA, 2017). The language features in the text that have an enduring quality

and are significantly suitable for the module includes third-person limited narration and point of view,

irony, characterisation and vivid imagery developed by descriptive language. These features exemplify the

effects of the craft of writing, and can therefore be utilized in The Craft of Writing course. This evaluation

will then discuss how to teach students the chosen feature vivid imagery in the craft of writing by referring

to ‘The Craft of Writing module’ and actual lesson plans (NESA, 2017).

The third-person limited narration and omniscient point of view in the text presents the thoughts

and actions of the main character Mr. Leonard Mead. This allows the audience to be embedded into the

world of the short story and to explore and experience what the main character is experiencing. The

omniscient point of view presents the theme of how the dystopian world with highly advanced technology

in society has led to the death of humanity and a totalitarianism order. This fits into The Craft of Writing

Module, as students can ‘analyse’ and ‘experiment’ with the concept of point of view in the text to

consider its ‘purpose and how it ‘shapes meaning’ in the text (NESA, 2017, p. 74). For example, in a lesson,

students could analyse how the point of view in the text presents a biased view of the dark future, and can

then experiment with the point of view in the text by changing the narration to first person.

In addition, characterisation in the text presents how the only humane character Mr. Leonard Mead

reflects the only form of humanity. Bradbury establishes this depiction by associating the character with

nature and warm bright light, as opposed to the rest of the darkness and death associated with technology

in society. This feature of characterisation fits into The Craft of Writing Module, as students would be able

to utilize how Bradbury establishes characterisation as a stimulus of how to develop their own powerful

character. This would also enable students to consider the purpose of characterisation, the targeted

audience and how it would shape meaning in the craft of writing (NESA, 2017, p. 74). For example, in a

lesson, students could analyse how Bradbury establishes the character Mr. Leonard Mead and experiment

with characterisation by establishing a new character in the text. Furthermore, Irony is significant in the

text, as Mr. Leonard Mead is portrayed as the most normal character in the story, however he is regarded
by his society through the robotic car as the most deviant and taken away to a psychiatric centre. This

feature of irony fits into The Craft of Writing Module, as students could analyse and utilize how Bradbury

establishes irony in the text as a model to develop their own irony in the craft of writing.

Moreover, the descriptive language in the text presents powerful vivid imagery of the main

characters’ senses and actions, the dystopian world, power of technology, as well as darkness, death,

isolation, loneliness and despair. This vivid imagery evokes the audiences’ senses and emotions throughout

the text and persuades the audience to empathise with the fact that society has lost its humanity from the

advanced technology and a political order of totalitarianism. The vivid imagery developed by the

descriptive language in the text therefore fits into The Craft of Writing Module, as students are required to

examine how writers of a complex texts use “language creatively and imaginatively for a range of purposes,

to describe the world around them” and to evoke emotion (NESA, 2017, p. 74).

In addition, this evaluation will now discuss how to teach stage six students vivid imagery through

the short story, “The Pedestrian”, in order for them to work this particular feature into their own writing.

This evaluation will refer to The Craft of Writing Module and actual lesson plans to demonstrate how to

teach students the chosen feature. In relation to The Craft of Writing Module, students are firstly required

to “appreciate, examine and analyse” a text as a model for the development of their “own ideas and

written expression”; as well as to further develop their ability to apply “textual forms and features” in their

own writing (NESA, 2017, p. 74). I have significantly applied this into lesson one, as students analyse how

descriptive language creates vivid imagery in the text and evokes the readers’ senses, and develop their

own craft of writing piece. I focused on this by conducting a mini-lesson, and I then modelled an analysis

task to the students, in order to prepare them to independently analyse the vivid imagery in the text.

These activities effectively build to the short writing task at the end of lesson one, as students utilize the

skill of what they been taught from previous activities to convey vivid imagery in their own writing.

Furthermore, in relation to The Craft of Writing Module students are secondly required to in the

pre-writing stage to “generate and explore ideas through discussion and speculation”, as well as to

experiment with language forms and features in the drafting and revising stage (NESA, 2017, p. 74). I have

applied this into lesson two, as students explore the notion of how to develop vivid imagery through the
brainstorming activity. This builds to the writing task where students develop vivid imagery in their own

writing by creating their own short narrative. The next activity ‘Think, pair, share’ significantly builds from

the writing activity, as students are required to evaluate and reflect on how they implemented vivid

imagery in their own short narrative, as well as their peers.

In conclusion, it is therefore evident that I have discussed how the short story fits into ‘The Craft of

Writing Module’ from its enduring qualities. The features discussed are suitable for the craft of writing

course, as they can be utilized for students as a stimulus and to develop and apply in their own writing.

Subsequently, I have also demonstrated in the two lessons how to teach students through the short story

how to develop vivid imagery through descriptive language in their own writing.
 References

Creepy, D. (2018). Creepy, Horror, Dead trees Wallpapers HD / Desktop and Mobile

Backgrounds.

HD Wallpapers - Desktop Background Images. Retrieved 23 March 2018, from

https://wallup.net/creepy-horror-dead-trees/

Isolation. (2018). Flickr. Retrieved 23 March 2018, from

https://www.flickr.com/photos/kawaiinoir/10386828416

Is loneliness the next health epidemic?. (2018). MNN - Mother Nature Network. Retrieved

23 March 2018, from https://www.mnn.com/health/fitness-well-

being/stories/loneliness-can-be-as-deadly-as-obesity-study-finds

Ltd, B. (2018). Dark Street Free Stock Photo - Public Domain Pictures.

Publicdomainpictures.net. Retrieved 23 March 2018, from

https://www.publicdomainpictures.net/en/view-image.php?

image=13283&picture=dark-street

Nature. - Google Search. (2018). Google.com.au. Retrieved 23 March 2018, from

https://www.google.com.au/search?

New South Wales Education Standards Authority. (2017). NSW Syllabus Standard English

Stage 6. NSW Government. Retrieved from

https://syllabus.nesa.nsw.edu.au/assets/english_standard/english-standard-stage-6-

syllabus-2017.pdf
Orwell, G. (1984). The Penguin complete novels of George Orwell. Harmondsworth

(Middlesex): Penguin Books.

Summary and Analysis of No Man Can Compass a Despair - Beaming Notes. (2018). Beaming

Notes. Retrieved 23 March 2018, from

https://beamingnotes.com/2016/10/20/summary-analysis-no-man-can-compass-

despair/

Riversidelocalschools.com. (2018). Retrieved 23 March 2018, from

http://www.riversidelocalschools.com/Downloads/pedestrian%20short%20story.pdf

Süskind, P., Woods, J., & Updike, J. (1986). Perfume. New York: A.A. Knopf.

What is Imagery? Examples of Imagery From Great Writers. (2018). YouTube. Retrieved

23 March, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4LVTn4d_-Q

You are being redirected.... (2018). Ianmack.com. Retrieved 23 March 2018, from

http://www.ianmack.com/videos/the-pedestrian-ray-bradbury/
(Text etc) Lesson 1

Class: Standard Time:

English, Year 10am
12.
Teacher: Objectives for self
To teach students how descriptive language creates vivid imagery.
To teach students how vivid imagery is used to appeal to the readers senses.
To teach students how imagery creates effects and shapes meaning in a narrative.
Syllabus Outcomes for students
Outcome 3: Analyses and uses language forms, features and structures of texts and justifies their
appropriateness for purpose, audience and context and explains effects on meaning EN12-3.
Engage personally with texts
Content point:
 engage with complex texts through their language forms, features and structures to
understand and appreciate the power of language to shape meaning.
Outcome 5: thinks imaginatively, creatively, interpretively, analytically, and discerningly to
respond to and compose texts that include considered and detailed information, ideas and
arguments EN12-5.
 assess the effects of rhetorical devices, for example emphasis, emotive language and
imagery in the construction of argument.

Materials
 PowerPoint.
 ‘Vivid Imagery in The Pedestrian’ scaffolding sheet.
 ‘Short writing task’ scaffolding sheet.

Procedures
Time Organisation Teaching/ learning activities
5 T/C Teacher: writes the learning intention on the board as an inquiry
mins question. How do authors create vivid imagery in narratives, in order
to provoke the reader’s senses?
Brainstorming activity/class discussion: The teacher leads the
brainstorming activity by asking students (How do we create vivid
imagery in narratives? What elements do we need to consider and
include?). The teacher writes the questions and all students
responses on the board.
Students: Will be activating their prior knowledge by stating their
thoughts and ideas.
10 mins T/C (Mini Lesson) PowerPoint.
Teacher: The teacher conducts a short PowerPoint on vivid imagery
with the students to teach them how to develop vivid imagery in
narratives, in order to provoke the readers’ senses.
Students: engage in the PowerPoint and take notes. Students are
also encouraged to respond and ask any questions.

25 T/C (Note: students have already read the text in previous lessons).
mins Scaffolding/modelling) Analysis activity.
Teacher: directs the activity by selecting a few quotes from the text
to model to the students how to analyse the descriptive language,
in order to present how it creates vivid imagery and shapes
meaning in the text.

‘Imagery in The Pedestrian’ scaffolding sheet.

Teacher: Explains to students that they will now analyse how the
descriptive language creates vivid imagery in the text by answering
the questions on the scaffolding sheet. The teacher also explains to
S/C students that the questions are focused on asking about the effects
of the imagery; and how this shapes meaning in the text by creating
a dystopian world.
Students: will analyse the imagery in the text by responding to the
questions on the scaffolding sheet provided.

Differentiation: The teacher provides extra support to students

with additional learning needs by assisting them with their analysis
and answering the questions on the scaffolding sheet.

12 S/C Informal formative assessment: Collaborative activity.

mins Teacher: organises students into groups of four. The teacher then
explains to students that all groups must answer question one on
the worksheet. The teacher then directs each group to answer one
of the other questions provided on the board. Questions:
1. List the different types of vivid images Bradbury portrays through
descriptive language.
2. How do the images that you have listed above present the
context of the text and Bradbury’s purpose of portraying a dark
dystopian world?
3. What effect does the vivid imagery have on the audience? (hint:
refer to how vivid imagery provokes the audiences’ senses).

Students: respond to the questions and discuss their responses.

Differentiation: The teacher differentiates instruction by directing
students with additional learning needs to focus first on answering
the first question. The teacher works with the students’ responses
from the scaffolding sheet to answer the questions.

Class discussion: students will share their responses.

8 S/C Informal formative assessment: Short writing task.
Evaluation/ Extension
I evaluated the outcomes of the lesson through various activities. I assessed outcome 3 and 5 through the
‘Imagery in The Pedestrian’ scaffolding sheet, as students during this task analysed how the descriptive language
creates vivid imagery, effects and shapes meaning in the text. I also assessed outcome 3 and 5 through the
informal formative assessment task, where students worked in groups of four to respond to questions based on
how the vivid imagery conveys the purpose, directed audience and the context of the short story. In addition, I
assessed outcome 5 by getting students to complete a short imaginative writing task. Moreover, the learning in
the lesson could be extended by developing activities that focus on deepening students’ knowledge on the effects of
vivid imagery in the craft of writing, such as getting students to complete more writing tasks.

In retrospect

The lesson was effective in relation to utilizing the short story, “The pedestrian” by Ray Bradbury as a model to
teach students how authors use descriptive language to convey vivid imagery and provoke readers’ senses. The
strengths of the lesson includes the mini lesson as the teacher introduces the concept and craft of vivid imagery
by using short text extracts to explore the effects of vivid imagery. The mini lesson also includes the teacher
identifying textual strategies that students could take up in their own writing. In addition, other strengths of the
lesson include the teacher modelling to students how to analyse the vivid imagery in the text, as well as
providing scaffolding sheets for the analysis, writing task and differentiation for all activities. However, the most
significant weakness in the lesson is that a lot of time was contributed to analysing the text, rather than focusing
on the craft and process of writing.
Mini lesson (PowerPoint).
 Modelling Analysis Activity (Examples)
Type Vivid Imagery (quote the
descriptive language)
Visual/sight “He would see the cottages
and homes with their dark
windows and it was not
unequal to walking through
a graveyard where only the
faintest glimmers of firefly
light appeared in flickers
behind” (Bradbury, 1951,
p.1).
Auditory/hear “He listened to the faint
push of his soft shoes
through autumn leaves with
satisfaction” (Bradbury,
1951, p.1).
Vivid imagery in “The Pedestrian”
Effect of the imagery on the
story
This visual imagery affects
the meaning in the story, as
it presents the darkness,
death and lack of humanity
in the dystopian world. The
imagery also effectively
establishes the setting in the
story and creates a gloomy
atmosphere. The imagery
therefore appeals to the
readers’ senses as it enables
them to see what the main
character is seeing.
The auditory imagery affects
the meaning in the story, as
it presents the silence and
isolation of the dystopian
world, as well as how Mr.
Leonard Mead is the only
character associated with
nature and humanity. This
evokes the readers’ senses
as it enables them to hear
what the character is
hearing.
 Instructions
Directions: In the table below
1. Quote passages from the short story that demonstrates the type of vivid imagery.
2. Then discuss what effect the images have on the story.
You should at least provide 1 quote and the effect it has on the story for each type of vivid imagery.

Type Vivid Imagery (quote the Effect of the imagery on the

descriptive language) story
Visual/sight

Auditory/hear

Tactile/touch

Gustatory/taste

Olfactory/smell

Short Writing Task

1. Isolation
2. Loneliness

3. Despair

4. Death

5. Nature

(Text etc) Lesson 2

Class: Year 12, Time: 10am.

Standard
English.

Teacher: Objectives for self

To teach students to use descriptive language in their own writing to create vivid imagery.
To teach students to reflect on their process of writing.
To teach students the importance of creativity.

Syllabus Outcomes for students

 Preliminary/ HSC… Outcome 4: adapts and applies knowledge, skills and understanding of
language concepts and literary devices into new and different contexts.
Understand and apply knowledge of language forms and features.
 Make imaginative use of language features, including punctuation and syntax, for
particular effects (ACEEN051).
Outcome 9: reflects on, assesses and monitors own learning and refines individual and
collaborative
processes an independent learner.
Understand and apply knowledge of language forms and features.
 Understand and use appropriate metalanguage and textual forms to assess and reflect
on their own
learning and that of others.

Materials
 Informal formative assessment: ‘Writing task sheet’.
Procedures
Time Organisation Teaching/ learning activities
5 T/C Learning Intension.
mins Teacher: writes the learning intention on the board: students will use
descriptive language in their own writing, in order to create vivid imagery
that appeals to the readers’ senses.

Brainstorming activity (mind map):

Teacher: directs the brainstorming activity by activating students’ prior
knowledge from the previous lesson. The teacher leads the activity by asking
students how do we develop vivid imagery in a narrative? What sort of
language do we use and why? How does this appeal to our senses?
Students: respond to the questions and take notes in their workbooks.

30 mins S/C Informal formative assessment: Writing task sheet.

Teacher: Explains to students that they will now be completing a short
writing task. Students will use descriptive language to create vivid imagery
that evokes senses in their own piece of writing. Differentiation (student
direction): The teacher differentiates the writing task by providing students
with three options for the task.

1. The 1st option includes students taking a phrase from the short story,
“The Pedestrian” by Ray Bradbury provided by the teacher and
transferring it by creating their own short narrative (Students are
expected to write at least a paragraph). Phrase: ‘On this particular
evening he began his journey in a westerly direction’…
2. The 2nd option includes the teacher providing students with an
image related to the text and getting students to extend the short
story through the image by writing at least a paragraph. Students
with additional learning needs are encouraged to complete the 2 nd
option.
3. Students can choose any quote from the short story, “The
Pedestrian” (with the teachers’ approval) as a story starter for their
own short narrative. (Advanced learners are encouraged to choose
this
option).
Students: choose their option and complete the writing task.
15 S/C (Reflection): Think, pair, share.
mins Teacher: directs students to evaluate their own piece of writing. Students
are to evaluate their own passage by:
1. Highlighting the descriptive language that they used in their own
short piece of writing.
2. Taking notes of what types of senses their writing piece conveys. (This
includes visual, auditory, touch, taste and smell).
3. Listing the images their story portrays.
Students: Will complete their evaluation.
Teacher: then directs students to pair up with another student to share
their work, ideas and to provide feedback to one another. Students will
then join into groups of four to share their work and discuss their pieces of
writing.
Students: will share their ideas and provide feedback to each other while
the teacher goes around the classroom and asks students about their
evaluation.

10 S/C Class discussion.

mins Teacher: directs the class discussion by encouraging students from each
group to share their short narrative or their extension of the short story,
“The Pedestrian”. The class will then discuss how descriptive language in
students writing tasks is used to create vivid imagery and how this appeals
to the readers’ senses.

Homework Students:
Process contribute
Journal: to thewill
Students discussion and
reflect on share
what their
they haveresponses.
learnt this lesson
by writing in their workbook journals about what they have learnt in
relation to vivid imagery.
Evaluation/ Extension

I evaluated the outcomes of the lesson through several activities. I assessed outcome 4 through the
informal formative assessment writing task, where students had to demonstrate their understanding
and the ability to use descriptive language, in order to convey vivid imagery in their own short
writing piece. I also assessed outcome 4 through the class discussion by observing and listening to
students writing tasks. In addition, I designed the ‘Think, Pair, Share’ reflection activity to assess
students on outcome 9, where they evaluated and reflected on their ability and their peers to
implement vivid imagery and evoke the readers senses in their own writing. The learning in the
lesson could be extended by students completing more tasks that focuses on the processes of
writing.

In retrospect
The lesson was effective as it focused on students completing writing tasks and reflecting on their
process of writing. The writing task was significant, as it provided differentiation for students by
providing them with options, as well as extra scaffolding in the writing task worksheet. The reflection
was also a significant task, as students were able to reflect on how they have utilized descriptive
language to convey vivid imagery in their own writing, as well as to share feedback and ideas from
their peers.
 Writing Task

You are required to complete a writing task. You must focus on using descriptive language
to convey vivid images in the task. There are three options to choose from. For all three
options students are required to write at least a paragraph.

Option 1. Take the following quotation below from “The Pedestrian” by Ray
Bradbury, and transfer it by creating your own short narrative.

‘On this particular evening he began his journey in a westerly direction’ (p.1) …

Option 2. Extend the short story, “The Pedestrian” through the image provided
below.

Option 3. Choose any quote from the short story, “The Pedestrian” (with the
teachers’ approval) as a story starter for your own short narrative.