 What’s in it for me?

Master the techniques used by strong, inspiring leaders

everywhere!
 The only way to improve leadership skills is by focusing on ourselves, not others.
 Changing your leadership style starts with assessing your current leadership level.
 Leader speaks the languages of courage and strength.
 Directive Leaders are capable of engineering their environments and abdicating power
to others.
 The Perceptive Leader speaks the language of trust.
 The Perceptive Leader encourages the language of vulnerability.
 Final summary

What’s in it for me? Master the techniques

used by strong, inspiring leaders everywhere!
No matter what line of work we’re in, we’ve all probably suffered under the leadership of a
truly terrible boss at one time or another. Bad bosses come in many forms. There’s the tyrant
who insists on doing things his way or else! There’s the lazy, checked-out boss who lets
everybody else do all the work and grabs all the credit. And then there’s the micromanager
who does everything herself because she assumes nobody else is capable of producing at her
level.

But on the flip side, you’ve probably also had at least one boss who was a genuine
inspiration. Maybe that boss even became a mentor, guiding you down a satisfying career
path. If you had to stay in one job for the rest of your life, there’s no doubt about which boss
you’d rather work for. 

Great leaders didn’t get where they are by accident. It took a lot of hard work and, along the
way, they had to contend with dozens, if not hundreds, of different individuals. To stand out,
they had to prove their leadership skills every step of the way. But what are the leadership
skills that help great leaders stand out? In these blinks, you’ll learn about the Languages of
Leadership – ways of speaking and acting that will help you stand out.

In these blinks, you’ll discover

 why great leaders are vulnerable and strong;

 who’s in your circle of influence; and
 why you don’t want to be an isolated leader.

The only way to improve leadership skills is

by focusing on ourselves, not others.
Being a leader these days is hard.

Our organizations are complex. Our attention is pulled in a dozen different directions at once.
And the people we work with can be scattered all around the world. Problems can arise at the
drop of a hat.

When they do, it can be tempting for a leader to blame his employees, or his organization.
Everything would be fine if only people did their jobs, if only the boss would make her mind
up, if only the organization was structured better.

But in blaming others, we’re making a mistake. There is only one thing we can freely change
and improve: ourselves.

The key message here is: The only way to improve leadership skills is by focusing on
ourselves, not others.

It all starts by caring, or taking things more personally. If we don’t take things personally, we
can grow detached from our work, lose our motivation, and even make unethical decisions.

The trick is not to take work so personally that we bite off more than we can chew and burn
out. It’s a balancing act. And here’s how to tackle it.

In The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People, Steven Covey introduces the key concepts of the
circle of concern and the circle of influence.

The circle of concern includes all those things that concern you but you have no control over.
Included in this circle are your co-workers. The circle of influence, on the other hand, focuses
on everything you can actually do something about. Things you can directly improve. To take
things personally, in the right way, you need to focus on the things in this circle.

For example, imagine you work in accounting. You’re great with numbers, you deal with
them all day long. But you have a problem dealing with people. You worry about your lack
of interpersonal skills. So you avoid going out of your comfort zone and stick to numbers
rather than people. Now, if you were to take things more personally, you’d realize that
improving your people skills is important and worthwhile. What’s more, you’d notice that
this is something in your circle of influence. It’s something you can control yourself.

You could make an effort to socialize more. Instead of responding to every question by
email, get up and meet your coworkers face to face. Or you could volunteer for projects that
include working as part of a team. Just by working on this one thing, your circle of influence
grows.
Changing your leadership style starts with
assessing your current leadership level.
Think back on some of the best bosses you’ve ever had. Now, think about the elements of
your own leadership style that work best. Notice a pattern? We all mirror our behavior on the
people we admire most. So if you want to inspire that same level of admiration in the people
around you, you need to start by being the change you want to see.

But how do you do this? Well, you first need to assess honestly what your leadership style is. 

The key message here is: Changing your leadership style starts with assessing your
current leadership level.

There are six basic levels of leadership.

At the bottom of the ladder sits the “Isolated leader.” Isolated leaders work with just a
handful of people, tend to be manipulative and don’t care about anyone other than
themselves.

Next, on Level 2 is the “Interested leader.” These leaders are slightly more engaged but they
don’t command much respect, either from their superiors or the people who work for them.

Smack in the middle is level 3, the “Involved leader.” These are team players who definitely
get the job done. But their performance reviews are decidedly average, sometimes because
they’ve taken on more than they can handle.

At level 4 is the “Integrated leader.” These leaders have been noticed and people are
impressed by their work. But they’re still seen as having potential, not as having truly
achieved success.

Next up at level 5 is the “Influenced leader.” These are great networkers who are active both
inside their own organization and outside. Hard workers with a reputation for getting things
done.

Finally, at the very top is the “Inspired leader.” These people are innovators who have
cultivated working relationships with everyone from the CEO down to the folks in the
trenches. If you want to be running the show someday, this is the level to aspire to. 

Figuring out what level you’re currently at requires taking a good, hard look at yourself and
honest reflection on your strengths and weaknesses. But by focusing your energy on the areas
you need to improve, it’s possible to transform yourself from a merely interested leader to an
inspired one. You can move up that ladder by mastering the six languages of leadership. Let’s
learn more about these over the following blinks.

Leader speaks the languages of courage and

strength.
Successful leaders come in all shapes and sizes. However, they can all be classified into three
different skill-sets: the Active Leader, the Directive Leader and the Perceptive Leader. Within
each of these are various languages of leadership. To be the best leader, you have to draw on
all of these at different times and in different situations.

Let’s start by examining how to become an Active Leader.

The key message here is: The Active Leader speaks the languages of courage and
strength.

Key to being an Active Leader is courage. This of course, means facing up to your fears.
Now, this might sound scary, but it really isn’t. In business, your fears are hardly ever life-
threatening and they can all be overcome with practice.

In fact, preparation is the key to courage. You can usually anticipate the situations that are
going to cause you fear and prepare for them. For example, you may be afraid to stand up and
disagree with your boss during meetings. But if you prepare for the moment by analyzing
why you disagree, preparing a counter-argument and maybe even scripting out exactly what
you want to say, you can face that fear and stand up for what you believe in.

The great thing about courage is how easily it spreads. Just like yawning and sneezing,
courage is contagious. Leading by example sets a tone that inspires others to follow suit. It
may be difficult and uncomfortable but practicing courage shows integrity and confidence
and sets you apart from the rest.

Courage goes hand in hand with the next language: strength. But being a strong leader isn’t
just about overcoming your fears. It means that you’re willing to make tough decisions, even
when they might be unpopular.

A strong leader isn’t merely ruthless. Strong leaders know how to make tough calls while not
destroying morale.
For instance, let’s say that you’ve just been promoted, and you’re now in charge of a project
that has dragged on for months with no end in sight. It clearly needs to go but how do you
cancel it? If you just terminate it without any thought to the people affected by your decision,
you risk appearing ruthless and unfeeling. Instead, gather the input of everyone in your
division and take the time to ensure that they all buy in to your way of thinking.

Always remember the distinction between respect and fear. A culture of fear destroys a
company’s morale and reduces productivity. You don’t want people to view you as a bully. If
you treat them with respect, they’ll treat you the same way.

By mastering the languages of courage and strength, you’ll project a confident, self-assured
image that commands respect from both your supervisor and the people who report to you.

Directive Leaders are capable of engineering

their environments and abdicating power to
others.
Let’s move on to talk about the Directive Leader.

The key skill of a Directive Leader is maneuvering situations, circumstances and even people
to best achieve goals. But how do you do this?

The key message here is: Directive Leaders are capable of engineering their
environments and abdicating power to others.

Let’s start with engineering your environment. This requires a three-pronged approach:
observe, interpret and intervene.

For example, let’s say you want to propose a new project to your boss. But you’ve noticed
that every time you sit down with her in her office, she’s too distracted by emails and calls to
pay close attention. You know from past experience that it’s not because she isn’t interested
in new ideas, she’s just too busy to focus. The easiest solution here is to get her out of that
office. Maybe you could propose an off-site coffee or lunch meeting, or simply walk and talk
while you’re both heading to a staff meeting. In other words, you observe your boss’s
behavior, you interpret why it’s happening, and you intervene to help.

Transparency is key to engineering your environment. This doesn’t mean just creating a few
open work spaces, or getting out of your office for quick chats with the team. You need to be
completely open with people about your thought process and your intentions, and you need to
communicate why you’re taking particular actions.
As well as being transparent, the Directive Leader should also be willing to abdicate power to
others. This means giving up a measure of control.

Giving up control can be very hard, but it’s worth it. When your team members feel
empowered to make their own decisions, they become more invested in you, your goals and
your company.

So, how do we effectively abdicate power? It starts with self-awareness. We tend to believe
that the best solutions are the ones we come up with ourselves. But virtually every problem
can be solved in a number of different ways. And who knows, someone else’s solution might
be a better one. Being aware that our own thoughts and ideas aren’t always the best way
forward is the start of giving control to others.

Next you need to abdicate power upwards. Having the courage and strength to stand up to
your boss isn’t always the most diplomatic strategy. So, in some cases, just let your boss win
the argument. Save your energy for the most important arguments. Occasionally, it may even
be a good idea to let him take credit for something you did. It’s never a bad idea to help make
your boss look good.

By engineering your environment and abdicating power to others, you show that you are a
collaborative innovator willing to take calculated risks.

The Perceptive Leader speaks the language of

trust.
Okay, now it’s time to talk about the final languages of leadership: The languages of the
Perceptive Leader.

The key message in this blink is: The Perceptive Leader speaks the language of trust.

Let’s start with trust. Trust is a very difficult thing to build up. It takes time and patience to
get people in your team to trust you. Even worse, it can be destroyed in an instant. Just one
poor decision, and levels of trust can plummet.

So how can you build trust effectively? Trust is built on a foundation of credibility, respect
and fairness. Credibility gives you the authority to have difficult conversations. Mutual
respect allows everyone involved to listen with an open mind. And fairness eliminates the
fear of reprisals that can so often poison open conversations.
But trust is a two-way street. You can’t just prove that you are trustworthy. You have to
demonstrate that you trust those around you. Abdicating some power is a great way of
displaying trust. As is increasing collaboration and building transparency. By showing others
that you’re happy with them taking the lead, or that their decisions matter, you are displaying
trust in them.

But along with developing trust you need to be aware of what can destroy it. There are five
major threats to trust: inaction, competition, fear, blame and gossip. Fear, blame and gossip
are self-explanatory but inaction is a tricky one.

Let’s say a position opens up in your company and it sits vacant for weeks, even months.
Despite this situation, no one in the team is offered a promotion. This inaction can be a sign
that the boss doesn’t trust anyone to do the job effectively, that he would rather not hire
anyone than promote someone who doesn’t deserve it. How do you think those in the team
would feel? They’d hardly feel trusted, would they?

Competition can undermine trust when used inappropriately. A healthy degree of competition
can be fine to keep people motivated. But focusing too much on individual targets will eat
away at their sense of teamwork. A team which is in fierce competition within itself creates
colleagues who see each other as rivals to crush rather than teammates to trust.

So, that’s how you develop the trust that’s essential to becoming a Perceptive Leader. But
trust isn’t the only language a Perceptive Leader must speak. In the next blink we’ll look at
communicating vulnerability.

The Perceptive Leader encourages the

language of vulnerability.
What do you think of when you hear the word “vulnerability?” You probably think it’s a
weakness, right? Something that should be hidden at all costs. After all, a great leader needs
to show she is strong and resilient, not vulnerable, doesn’t she?

Not at all.

The key message in this blink is: The Perceptive Leader encourages the language of
vulnerability.

The deepest connections you have with people are formed when they allow themselves to feel
vulnerable in front of you. Great leaders try and encourage displays of vulnerability in
themselves and their teams. This doesn’t mean you have to turn every staff meeting into a
group therapy session. Just sharing a little bit of your story goes a long way. Even simple
phrases like “I’m sorry” or “I didn’t think about that” show that you don’t always have all the
answers and can learn from your mistakes.

But vulnerability can be overused. If you go too far and try to play on someone’s sympathy,
you can appear manipulative or weak. So how do you strike the right balance? How do you
express vulnerability without having to beg forgiveness?

The best way is to actively seek out feedback and contrary opinions on your ideas. By doing
this, you’re allowing yourself to appear vulnerable. Simply asking for help shows that you’re
only human.

But above all, look for opportunities to connect with people one-on-one. And when you speak
with people in person, treat them as humans. Don’t hector or reprimand them for every
mistake they make. Empathize with them, talk about your own mistakes and missteps. Do
whatever you can to connect with them on a personal level.

Now you may be wondering, “but how can I appear vulnerable and strong at the same
time?” How is it possible to simultaneously reflect all the languages of leadership?

The reality is: you don’t have to. The key to mastering all six languages of leadership is using
them all in balance.

To master the languages of leadership you need to know when and how to use each one. If
you project strength in a situation that calls for vulnerability, you can be considered mean and
unfeeling. If you abdicate power when you should be showing courage, you look like you’re
passing the buck. The key to striking the proper balance is reflection and self-awareness. In
every situation, take an honest look at yourself and ask what you’re trying to accomplish and
why. Because as a leader, even if you’re not looking at your words and actions, everyone else
in the room is.

Final summary
The key message in these blinks is:

Being an effective leader takes a lot of work, and there are many ways to tackle
leadership. But there are a few key skills and approaches that all good leaders must
display. To thrive as a leader, you must be courageous and strong. You must be able to
engineer your environment and abdicate power to others. Finally, you must inspire
trust in your team and be willing to appear vulnerable. Rather than trying to display all
these languages at the same time, you must judge the situation and communicate the
language which fits best. 

Actionable advice:

Here’s one last piece of advice

Set clear expectations and learn to say “no!”

It can be hard to communicate in the language of strength. But luckily there are a few simple
techniques that can help you to project strength and command respect. First, set very clear
expectations with hard-and-fast deadlines so there can be no misunderstandings. If people fail
to meet those expectations, you need to hold them accountable, even if it means having tough
conversations. Second, learn to say “no” and stick to it, even in the face of pushback.