“Age and Feelings”

-ALEAKIM-

These past few days, the only feeling I’m constantly having is weariness. Weariness is

growing up, they say. Weariness is college and I believe that. The energy you once had when

you were a grade III student who doesn’t have anything to worry about like having high grades,

friends, defending a thesis will change once you enter the world of college life. It’s cruel.

Since I entered college, I can notice that not only my year level is changing but also my

way of thinking and even the events that are happening in my life. I am now experiencing

problems that only adults can solve and I am not ready.

As cliché as it may seem but I am missing my childhood so much and when I say

“childhood” I am talking about myself as a seven-year-old kid who was a grade III student. For

me, that is the best year of my elementary time. That was the time when all we could do was

playing. Every morning, all of us including teachers and students would go to the field to have

our flag ceremony. After the flag ceremony, we would have our dance exercise and there were

chosen students who were asked to lead the dance. I remember myself having this desire to be

one of those students because I really love dancing but unfortunately, I wasn’t able to join the

girls, not until Grade IV. Anyways, after our preliminary activities we would go straight to our

room and start the lesson. We had this typical classroom setting wherein the teacher will teach

while students will listen and learn. But the magic happen every lunch break. My brother who

was grade IV that time would always come to my room and we would go home to eat lunch

together. After that, we would go back to the school. Then, as I was walking my way alone, I

could see my fellow students playing in the corridor. But instead of playing in the corridor, I
preferred playing Gerbase or Dagitan with my classmates who were all boys in the field wherein

the sun was our only audience. The mechanics of the game was very easy. The goal was to own

your opponent’s base by catching them and make all of them be your prisoners in your base.

Once you see them get out on their base, run and do everything to catch them. There’s no turning

back. This was a kind of game that for some, only men are allowed to play but not for me. Even

before, I liked doing unusual things like men games and stuff. Then minutes after, the school bell

would ring as a sign that it’s time for our afternoon class.

There were also days which I considered extraordinary. Actually, whenever I hear the

words “GRADE THREE”, the very first thing that comes to my mind is my classmate (I won’t

drop a name. I am afraid this paper would fly exactly in his face and I know that he knows where

to find me and their family is very influential. I can’t risk my family’s life) who pooped in his

pants. We were having our class when some of my classmates smelled something unusual. Then

we noticed that there were flies inside the room and they seemed very busy searching for like a

treasure chest. My teacher told us to take our lunch early and before I could get out of the room, I

found myself looking at one of my classmates who seemed very uncomfortable trying not to

move. Then her mother came and asked people to leave the room immediately as if there was a

fire burning the room so all of us evacuated the classroom. After eating, I looked through the

window and saw my classmate’s mother cleaning the whole classroom. She was pouring a lot of

Zonrox in the classroom and I realized that it’s not only us who she wanted to evacuate the room

but also the treasure hunters, the flies.

Another extraordinary phase of my grade-three-life was the age of Roller Shoes. I

remember looking at my girl classmates who were always busy running through the use of their

roller shoes. Only three girls had them because they were the only persons who can afford such
pricey shoes during that time. The other girls would always ask these three girls to let them use it

and they would gladly agree. But these girls only had 10 seconds to use the shoes. By the way, I

am one of those who borrowed also. After a few minutes, our teacher would call us to start our

lesson again. After a long day in school, we would go home, change our clothes, eat meryenda

and play again. I would play the same game but with different playmates. This time, it’s my

neighborhood and we would also play other games like patintero, bang-sak, tagu-taguan and also

Barbie dolls.

That was my routine. No grades to think of, no ASL to solve: only basic math, no thesis

to defend, no people to please and no need to be perfect. We were tired but happy. We love what

we’re doing. We do things because we want to and not because we need to.

How I wish I could turn back time and just stay. I know I can’t but it’s okay. I know

people my age feel the same way too and they are constantly fighting so maybe I should, too. I

made my decision. I will consider life as a Gerbase and my opponent is my dreams. I’ll chase

them and catch them until I make the most out of it. There is no turning back now. Weariness is

growing up, yes but weariness is what makes you appreciate the product of what you’re doing.

Apply all the lessons you had gained and use them as your weapon to beat challenges that are

constantly coming. After all, we all have the same routine in life, right? We face challenges; beat

them and then another challenge to beat. What matters is that we continue fighting regardless of

our age. Age is just a number. It doesn’t matter. We matter.