Christian Personal Relationship

Goals of the Course

1. To give the participants some understanding of how Christians should treat others, especially in daily life where the Christian
approach differs from the society around us

2. To instruct the participants in how to handle some typical, difficult situations in their lives in a good Christian way: how to
speak to others, how to honour others, how to work out personal conflicts, and how to relate differently to those in the
Christian community and those outside

CPR are the core of Christian Community, not community structures, and more importantly, personal relationship with Christ
(John 4:20-21 and 1 John 4:20-21).

Talk 1: Learning to Love One Another

How do you see Personal Relationships around you? Look around in your office, schools, and outside community, and share your
experience in terms of ideologies formed and the characteristics of human relationships.

What the World says:

Social change (modern society): Technological advances which drives a lot of things to virtual world, Secularism, Hedonism and
Individualism (i.e. rights to not wear mask, my body my life my decision – but how about the baby’s body?, etc.). This leads to
breakdown of stability, insecurity in relationship, fear of commitment, isolated individuals, and high rate of mental distress. The
idea of centring everything to yourself (everything is about me) is more attracting than having a Christ-centred life (everything is
about God).

In you experience of community, what contrasting difference you observer from the secular society?

Community is for… the Kingdom of God

Secular Society God’s Kingdom

Marked by individualism All about being in communion with one another

Upholds preferential relating, that we only relate to
those we prefer to
Centred on own natural feelings and emotions
Recommends self-protective and self-serving
Seeks good to all (inclusive relating)
Centred on the new life founded in him (fruit of the
Holy Spirit)
Characterized by generosity and service

What the bible says (the Lord’s alternative):

- John 15:12-13. That you love one another as I have loved you. No greater love than this, that a man lay down his life for
his friends
- Philippians 2:1-8. Do nothing from selfish or conceit but in humility count others better than yourselves. Let each not
look only to his own interest but also to the interests of others.
- 1 Thessalonians 5:11. Encourage one another and build one another up
- Romans 12:10. Love one another with brotherly affection; outdo one another in showing honour.
- The Holy Spirit empowers us to be the “new creation” (2 Corinthians 5:17)
- Commentary about Christian debates about earth’s origin and how Christians are showing that even in disagreement,
we can be brotherly to one another.

In our community, what are the actual practices that you have been part of or continually practicing consistent with what we
have discussed. Personally, what is that one thing that you would challenge yourself to be an ambassador of Good Christian
Personal Relationship.

Talk 2: Outdo One Another in Showing Honour

Showing love to our brothers and sisters in daily life. The Lord wants us to show honour and respect to one another

Practical things to live by: (note that ‘they’, ‘their’ and ‘them’ refers to our brothers and sisters in the community)

1. Obeying in a respectful way to the degree that obedience is due

2. Giving precedence (letting them go first, going to meet them)
3. Acknowledging their authority to direct, teach, correct, etc. (e.g. not giving them directions, but making requests)
 4. Serving them when with them (as appropriate)
5. Speaking and acting in a way that increases others‘ respect for them
6. Speaking about them in an honourable way
7. Commending them whenever it is deserved
8. Seeing that they are receiving honour
9. Speaking to them with courtesy (e.g., parents to children)

For you are free, yet you are God’s slaves, so don’t use your freedom as an excuse to do evil. Respect everyone and love the
family of believers. Fear God and respect the king. (1 Pet. 2:16-17).

Talk 3: Speech that Builds Up

The tongue is very powerful (Proverbs 18:21). Speech is crucial for developing good personal relationships.

1. ‘Speaking against’ others (slander or detraction) is seriously wrong. 1 Peter 2:10

2. ‘Tale bearing’ or reporting to one person something unfavourable said of that person by another person is also wrong.
Proverbs 6:19 False witness, 16:28 Gossip, 18:8 Rumours, 26:20 Gossip.
3. Listening to someone speaking against someone is also wrong. Proverbs 17:4
4. ‘Gossip’ means talking about others in way that negatively affects their good name in the eyes of others or passing on
things that should remain private. Proverbs 11:12
5. We should keep private matters confidential
6. We should not listen to gossip, much less pass it on.
7. Disloyalty. We should not speak about our brothers and sisters or any group we belong to in a way that leads others to
disrespect or distrust them. Proverbs 11:12. It is encouraged to talk to priests or ministers in order to get advice how
our church approach some matters, but speak loyally.

Talk 4: Keeping the Peace (working out a conflict)

Christian relationships involve peace. Ephesians 4:3. The general principle is “To approach the person in private and not tell a
soul (unless we seek help from others how to handle the situation)”. In the conversation between the “seeking advice” session,
remember that we speak loyally, and we keep things confidential.

Talk 5: Encouragement and Correction

As brothers and sisters in the Lord, we are part of a Christian body (Ephesians 4:15-16, 22-23). Therefore, it is our best interest
to keep peace, create an atmosphere of encouragement while at the same time ensuring that no one is derailed from our
Christian values. A bit tricky, that is why we have conflicts first discussed before Talk 5. At the end of the day, we are mutually
responsible to the life of our brothers and sisters in our community (Galatians 6:1-2)

There are a lot of instructions how to go about this, very meaningful and practical. However, with these two topics, I hope to
hear it from each one of us how we handle conflicts or if we have a question on how to address a certain situation. We can use
examples that happened in the past but remember, speak loyally, and maintain confidentiality. We can also share an experience
when we encouraged a brother or a sister and how you have done it and what is the outcome.

Talk 6. Relationship Outside

Essentially includes everything we discussed (Titus 3:2), but not to level that we ‘impose’ our Christianity. Be a man or woman of
peace, seeking good relationships, avoiding quarrelling. In situations that goes beyond what is right, separate to a necessary
degree. If the issue is Christianity or Christianity morality, take a firm but peaceful approach.

Talk 7. Relationships and Emotions

Our emotions should be our servants and not our masters. (Galatians 5:13-14). Try to recognize how your emotions work. Do not
let emotions keep you from obeying the Lord and loving others. Learn and communicate about how your emotions work on you
so that we gain understanding on how to form better relationship in our community. In the same way, as brothers and sisters,
we ought to seek to understand first.

Conclusion: “Self-discipline” story. We want to build a bulwark where people can be restored, refreshed, and motivated and then go out again
to step into the world. If we are not achieving this, then it only means that we keep on pursuing it. Others may say, it is difficult to attain the
standards of the Community (which are all biblical and therefore of Christ) but then, as soon as we realise this, we recognise that we need all
the more God’s grace and that we can only do this through Him who strengthen us.

Interesting how we said in the start, that everything should not be about ourselves and it is all but about God. When we really digest this
statement, meaning, as soon as we understand how to live life centred to God, in turns out it is really for our own good – good relationships,
upbuilding and serving one another. I pray and I hope that in our community, we get to that same attitude as it was written towards the end of
2 John. 2 John 1:12. I have much to write to you, but I do not want to use paper and ink. Instead, I hope to visit you and talk with you face to
face, so that our joy may be complete.