A.

Process of GROW Model of Coaching

As expressed earlier, any coaching process helps the coachees to have deliberate consciousness
of where they are going (goals) and where they are (current reality), and by enabling them to
know the gap between the two, helps them formulate right strategies and deliberately take
action to implement those strategies (action steps).

This basic structure of all improvement can be approached and implemented in many ways, since
there is a plurality of personalities among coaches and coachees.

For the sake of an orderly exposition, we will present the basic structure using the GROW
Model.

GOALS (where am I going?)

REALITY (Where am I?)
OPTIONS (How do I get there?)
WAY FORWARD (What will I do?)

1. GOALS (where am I going?)

As someone who understands the school’s ideals, goals, values and philosophy, the peer coach
takes the lead in ensuring that the coachee understands these.

The coach should clearly lay down to the father the three goals of peer coaching, which are thus
also the three basic topics or structure of discussion during the chats.

The aim is that the new father consciously and deliberately chooses to become

1) a better spouse (continuous spousal courtship)

2) a better parent to his children (parenting development), by
 Developing virtues in the children
 Maintaining a virtuous home environment
 Collaborating effectively with the school
3) a better person and develop a close relationship with God (character and faith
development) 

Different approaches to discussing the goals. The explanation of these character goals and
reasons behind these goals has been done in various ways. The most common way is to explain
them as a sharing of personal experiences (Annex 2 contains points for discussion). Another way
is to give them short talks to initiate discussion (Annex 3 contains 5 talk topics). A third way is
to discuss the goals and themes discussed in their NPEP sessions.

It will also be good to ask the coachee his way of explaining why those goals are important. The
coachee should be encouraged to share with the coach the ideals, vision, values and principles he
is trying to live up to in his home. He may also want to discuss the teachings of his own parents.
Making someone argue for a goal is one of the most effective ways of motivating people.

How many goals to discuss in each chat? Some coaches discuss the three goals one at a time,
that is, one chat, one topic. Some other coaches discuss two; some all the goals in each chat.

The place of the spiritual aspect. There are also different approaches as to bringing up the
spiritual aspect. For some they prefer to develop the human virtues and relationships first before
they build the supernatural virtues.
Some others prefer to make it the foundation of the discussion. One highly experienced peer
coach explains: “Focusing on his relationship with the Lord, is very important, (maybe essential)
to be able to make peer coaching an effective experience for the father. We can motivate him
more effectively if we tell him that the Lord wants him to be a very good husband and father. He
will be more willing to listen to us. He will be able to develop himself much more effectively if
his relationship with the Lord is also developing.” Many Filipino parents who have a strong
Christian background will appreciate this approach.

The right approach for each coachee will certainly depend on the dispositions that are perceived
in the coachee.

2. REALITY (Where am I?)

A second phase in the discussion is to help the coachee assess his situation vis-à-vis the goals.
This is the first meaning of In-context Peer Coaching (ICPC): coaching the father based on the
actual context of their family environment.

This can be done by simple questions such as:

 So how’s the family in this aspect?
 What is your reaction to what I said?
 What do you think needs to improve?
 What are the challenges that you face? The difficulties?
 What are “the facts of the case”? (a humorous reference to the NPEP phraseology, by
which the participants are helped to keep an objective, third-party view of the
situation under examination)

These questions will usually bring about many points for discussion, and reality-checks.

It is may be good for them to learn how to process things or think things through by following
certain steps: (a) identify the issue/s; (b) identify the facts surrounding the issue; (c) what are the
possible reasons/solutions; (d) what is the best solution?

A method that can also be used is for the coachee to rate the situation, from 1-10. This allows for
a more precise assessment of how much improvement should be done, and also a clearer
consciousness of the gap between goal and reality, an awareness that can help move the coachee
to action.

3. OPTIONS (How do I get there?)

It bears repeating that it is best that the coachee thinks through the “problem” or gaps, or
improvement opportunities, rather than be given all the solutions by the coach.

Some possible questions to tackle the options or alternative for action are:

 What do you think can be done?

 How can we move toward the goal?
 What options or alternatives do we have?
 What has worked in the past?

Only after hearing his own approaches will the coach bring up his suggestions or share his
experiences and best practices:
 What do you think of this approach: ______?

It will also be opportune to ask him about the NPEP Actions Plans that the couple plotted out in
their last NPEP session. This is the second meaning of In-context Peer Coaching: coaching the
father in the context of what they learned in the NPEP sessions.
Peer coaches should not be afraid to point out mistaken options that will not lead to the goal, but
away from it. His role is to help the coachee foresee the consequences of these wrong choices,
based on his experience.

Even for the good choices, the peer coach will be able to help the new father if he can point out
the possible obstacles and difficulties in threading the top options available.

4. WAY FORWARD (What will I do?)

The last step is to help the coachee to decide on a specific plan of action, or next steps.

It is good to come up with concrete resolutions, as specific as possible. They must be doable.
Some experienced peer coaches recommend baby steps that the coaches can easily perform, so
they are encouraged by their improvements.