Intimacy

Tips From
An Introvert


Arlo Polestico Et. Al.
(More on Al, really)
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Special Thanks to My Team
Introduction
You are probably reading this book because you are
having a rough patch in your life and hope to fix it
through intimacy.

We know that intimacy can cure a multitude of ills. It’s

one of the few things in the world that benefits both
parties involved.

Intimacy can help us relax after a long depressing day. It

can connect us to another person in a deeply spiritual
level. It’s the reward we get when we treat people kindly.

When we focus all our attention to someone we love and

admire, we feel peace.

This book explores intimacy in-depth and how you can

use this information to inspire you through a difficult
relationship.
 Table of Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1 – The Reasons Why We Need Marriage

Chapter 2 – The Reasons Why We Need a Partner
Chapter 3 – It Is Hard to Keep a Sexual Connection
with Your Partner
Chapter 4 – Difficulty in Dealing with Anger in
Relationship
Chapter 5 – There Are Always Disagreements with
Your Partner
Chapter 6 – Chronic Stress in Relationship
Chapter 7 – Business CEO Worry About Business
and How to Acknowledge Partners Feelings
Chapter 8 – No time to Have Personal Connection in
Relationships
Chapter 9 – It Is Hard to Build Trust in
Relationships
Chapter 10 – Cool War in Relationships
Chapter 11 – Reasons for These Issues Can't Be
Fixed Why Rich People Easily Have Relationship
Problems
Chapter 12 – Reasons for these issues can't be fixed
The Factors Why the Rich Always Change Partners
Chapter 13 – Counseling, Therapy, Training Can't
Really Fix Relationship Problems
Chapter 14 – The Reasons Why Some Couples Have
Relationship Problems When Becoming Parents
Chapter 15 – The Reasons Why Some Couples Have
Relationship Problems When They Have No
Children
Chapter 16 – Family Influence on Relationship
Patterns
Chapter 17 – Social Influence on Relationship
Patterns
Chapter 18 – If The Doctor, Coach, Counselor,
Theorist, Healer, Master, Etc., Holds Fear Inside,
How Can They Take You to The Highest Possibility
of Freedom?
Chapter 19 – Dig Deep Within
Chapter 20 – Dr. Angela Wilson Will Take You to
an 8-Level Journey Towards Freedom
Chapter 21 – Be Courageous to Go Through
Optimal Transformation
Chapter 22 – Be Ready to Update Yourself to A New
Version
Chapter 23 – Be Ready to Be Who You Are
Chapter 24 – If You Do the Steps Above, Your
Immune System Will Be High Level and Stable
Chapter 25 – You Will Be Confident to Handle Any
Situation
 Chapter 1
The Reasons Why We Need Marriage

The secrets of success are a good wife and a steady job.

My wife told me.
-Howard Nemerov

If you’re already in a long term relationship and wonder

why you need to marry, give these ideas a serious thought.

1. Marriage is the proof of your love for your partner

It is the highest commitment you can give to the person

you love. Marriage is sharing your life with the person
you love. As people, we are social creatures that need
attention. Living life alone may sound good, but there
comes a time when all of us feel the need to be watched
by another person and have someone to share the ups and
downs of life.
2. Marriage is the end of your single life

Do you still remember how you spent your teenage years

as a single person? You’ve had your share of parties and
fun until those one night stands and flings seem pointless
already. By now, your mind is probably telling you that
things have changed, and you want to share your life with
someone, and not just share a bed with a person for one
night.

3. Marriage is taking the next stage of your life

Life is a game with different stages. When you’re

prepared for the next stage, your mind conditions itself to
move to the next stage. If you love someone, take the risk.
It will be a new experience to live for.

4. Follow a centuries-old tradition

Marriage stood the test of time. With most cultural

traditions dying down in the world, marriage is still very
much alive and for good reason as it serves a multitude of
uses.

5. Experience the celebration of true love

Have you been in a relationship for a few years and you’re

still happy? You’re more ready than you believe.
6. Marriage is a means to a great support system

Marriage is the best way to provide support to your life.

When you’re going through a tough time, just knowing
that you have someone who can share your load can help
you get a better perspective of life.

7. Marriage gives you motivation

Just imagining that you have someone who loves and

cares for you can give you the strength and inspiration to
be a better person and chase your goals. If you love the
one you’re married to, you’d be determined to create a
better life for you and your partner.

8. Marriage is giving a name for your relationship

Marrying your partner means being committed to the

idea of spending a lifetime together with someone.

9. Marriage allows you to fit in society

Marriage is recognized all over the world and even

demanded in some societies. And just like we’re all meant
to have jobs, earn a living, live in a house, to get married
to the one you love is the right and respectful way to live.

10. Marriage makes you more mature

With marriage is maturity. Marriage requires faith, trust,
and pixie dust. Joking aside, marriage requires
commitment. It’s the commitment that makes a boy
become a man or the man to become a man again. It
makes him feel responsible for himself and his future
family. To the woman, marriage means having emotional
security. She sleeps soundly knowing her man’s
commitment proves that he loves her and won’t look for
love in another woman.

11. Marriage is your ticket to having children

If you look at children in public and wish to have a child

of your own, maybe it’s time to settle down and put a
baby in someone’s belly.

12. Marriage secures your finances

When you’re married, you can share each other’s money

through hard times. If you get fired from your job, you
have your partner to depend on until you find a next one.
Having each other’s goals and aspirations in life makes
you more likely to succeed.

13. Marriage makes you a more virtuous person

Marriage is a bond that stands for morality and defines

your relationship as more than a short-term relationship.
14. Marriage gives you one more accomplishment in life

You’ve achieved what you want in life, money, a house, a

car, among others. But all of these are material things
that don’t give meaning to your life.

Knowing you have someone who loves you

unconditionally and is waiting for you at home will always
give you more happiness than anything that surrounds
you.

15. Marriage gives you someone you can call your own

There are billions of people in the world. But when

you’re single, you’re just an individual walking the lonely
road with no one to call your own. But when you get
married you have someone who will share your life with
you, and have someone you can call yours.

16. Marriage gives you a companion to grow old with

This may not make a lot of sense if you’re still young, but
as you get older, you would enjoy the pleasure of
spending time with a person that you love more than
anyone else. Having someone to take care of you,
understand your quirks and principles in life, at the same
time, having someone to care for and love can make you
feel more satisfied and significant.
Marriage is finding your soulmate. Have you found the
one who makes you most alive and happy? If you’ve met
your true love and look forward to spending the forever
together and grow old together, marriage is what you
need.

Marriage is helping your parents. Marrying someone can

reassure your parents about your future. Even though
they may not say it, getting married to the one you love is
reassuring for both families because it makes them
happier to know that you and your partner have found
happiness, and would go through life’s challenges
together. Plus, parents are looking forward to seeing their
grandchildren.

Marriage gives meaning to life. Marriage gives you focus

in life. When you’re married, you’re not just responsible
for yourself; you’re responsible for your partner too.
Together, both of you become one organism, no matter
how creepy that sounds.

If you are married, you may be aware why marriage is

important. It’s because you experienced the good that
comes from it.

To others, marriage was hard and you’re no longer

married. However, there is hope. But that hope starts with
knowing that marriage can be more amazing than you
have experienced or thought.

Being married for many years means experiencing the

magic and the hardships of life. Marriage removes
loneliness for both parties involved.

One married couple says, “We are more effective working

as a team versus working as individuals. Through
challenges, we have both matured. And a side bonus, we
have wonderful kids that came from our union.”

Marriage is defined as many things. Below are some great

definitions.

1. Marriage is the beginning of a new life

It provides an opportunity to be selfless as you serve your

partner and children. Marriage is greater than a physical
union; it is also an emotional and spiritual union.

2. Marriage is oneness

When two people get married, they become one entity.

They have one mind, one heart, one genital. Well, maybe
not one genital. Marriage is a unique bond. Not one
marriage is the same in the world. It gives a person a life
partner as he or she moves through the hardships of life
together. Through aging and monetary crisis.
3. Marriage is purity

We are under tempted nearly every minute and from

many directions. Marriage gives us the support to counter
temptation by practicing a deep and satisfying love. Love
that reciprocates physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

4. Marriage is parenting

When you and your spouse have a child, it’s one of the
greatest blessings in life. Around 40% of kids today are
being raised without a father. Growing up without a
father puts children at a greater likelihood of developing
mental and behavioral disorders as well as a life of crime
and drug abuse. But when children are raised in an
otherwise healthy marriage, they get to witness the
lasting benefits of a strong family.

5. Marriage is love

Marriage is designed to mirror out a higher being’s love

for us. It’s a love that will never forsake us. When two
people love each other, contentment follows and joy
surfaces.

However, not all relationships last forever. Sometimes

couples stick it out all the way to the altar. They might
make the marriage last a few years. Maybe they’ll have
children. But to nobody’s surprise, they soon find
themselves in front of a judge, wanting a divorce. By that
time, each side of the party is regretting their decision of
ever getting married.

Witnesses often ask the question: If they knew this was

going to happen, then why did they? Every marriage is
different, but below are some of the common reasons
couples still tie the knot despite the odds.

Below are some reasons why people marry despite the

odds.

1. It’s the only logical step forward

They’ve been together for many years. They’ve lived

together for many years. They look good together. Isn’t
marriage the necessary move?

There was a time two people were in love. At the

beginning of every marriage is a fairy tale. After the cool
down, marriage is a perfect way to shake things up.

2. Marriage is an opportunity to grow up

A ring on your finger is an upgrade to a person’s standard

of living and a better reputation in your community.

3. Marriage removes the fear of staying single

Nobody wants to be labeled as a crazy cat lady.

4. Marriage removes wishful thinking

Getting married means growing up. It’s saying goodbye

to late night outs, mysterious texts, and worries of your
partner changing or not.

5. Marriage is security

Spouses sleep better knowing there’s a backup income to

cover the bills if you get fired.

6. Unplanned kids need married parents

When your partner gets knocked up before marriage, or

the thought of marriage, sealing the deal would be the
best thing to do.

7. Society will pressure you to no end

Almost all your friends are married. Your family keeps

asking when you’re going to settle down. A person can
only take so much.

8. Put a ring on that finger before your partner runs out

of eggs.
9. Marriage is more relevant today than in any moment in
history

Marriage used to be a requirement, but now it is a choice.

All the worn out arguments for marriage have faded away,
and we are left with one reason to settle down. We can
finally marry for the right reason. There’s only one
reason. Marriage makes a relationship divine. Getting
hitched means that something bigger than your
relationship is bringing you together. It’s when a higher
being enters your relationship.

Until you are married to your partner, your relationship is

only a human commitment, with all the limitations of
being human. We cannot see the future, we cannot know
what may change, and we make mistakes. When you get
married, it’s not just because chose to be, but because it is
written in your destiny.

Marriage is also great for your health. US researchers

followed 1,700 people over 20 years and found that those
who had a happy marriage had improved overall health,
specifically making spouses more likely to sleep better and
participate in healthy activities. They’re also less likely to
drink and miss doctor’s appointments.

It follows that as wedded couples are healthier, they also

live longer. A 2013 US study found that unmarried
individuals are twice as likely to die earlier than those
who were married in the middle or later parts of their
life.

Even when compared to couples living together, married

men and women have a significantly lower risk of having
depression, and are at least 50% less likely to develop any
mental disorder, according to studies.

Married people of both genders are up to 66% less likely

to have a heart attack, a 2013 study found. The theory is
that this could be a result of married couples being more
stable financially and being able to rely on someone to call
an ambulance in time, making survival more likely.

Regardless of stroke risk factors such as smoking, obesity,

and diabetes, happily married men are 64% less likely to
have a fatal stroke compared to single or unhappily
married men.

Marriage makes your bones stronger, especially for men.

A US study found that married men had a higher bone
density than both single and divorced men. In women, a
supportive husband, rather than marriage itself, was
linked to stronger bones.

Being married increases the chance of surviving colon

cancer, according to a study. Researchers in China found
that unmarried colon-cancer patients were 37% more
likely to die than those who were married, no matter if
you were a man or woman.

Think about it, if you live longer, you can enjoy playing
the game of life longer. You can work for money, then
spend money for your happiness. The longer the
experience, the fuller the life. And marriage gives you
children to share that life with and give you an
opportunity to pass your legacy to.
 Chapter 2
The Reasons Why We Need a Partner

A good wife is one who serves her husband in the

morning like a mother, loves him in the day like a sister,
and pleases him like a prostitute in the night.
-Chanakya

The philosopher Wittgenstein died in his bed sad, alone,

and miserable. He died concluding that all wonderful lives
do involve a life partner. Numerous studies tell us that
being in a committed and stable relationship makes us
happier than other things we search for, such as having a
career or being rich and famous.

If you are someone who wants to be in a relationship,

have you thought why you want to be in one in the first
place? There are two main reasons for wanting a
relationship—to receive love and to give love.
These are variations of those two reasons.

1. I want someone to love me and make me feel good.

2. I don’t want to be alone anymore.

3. I want to have kids.

4. I want to feel physically safe and fiscally secure.

5. I want someone to fill the empty place within me.

6. I want someone to complete me. I hope I can find a

partner that will give me what I can’t give myself and
what I wasn’t able to give myself as a child.

7. I want someone to take care of me emotionally,

financially, and sexually. All at the same time.

8. The next morning after you slept with the person you
shared drinks with, you might think.

9. I just want someone to heal me, learn with me, and

share the love with me.

10. I want someone to merge financial accounts with.

11. I want to merge assets and properties with someone.

The other reason for being in a relationship originates
from the fact that being in a relationship is one of the best
ways to learn about what is unhealed in us, and for having
something to heal. Most of us have baggage from our
childhood that we carry into all our relationships. We
have fears of rejection and fears of fears. These fears get
ironed out with a partner, which offers us an opportunity
to learn about ourselves and heal ourselves. A relationship
can be the Ph.D. of personal growth.

Learning your fears of being close to someone, as well as

about control issues can lead to growth of your ability to
love. The more you learn to carry responsibility for your
feelings and learning to love yourself, the more you will
want a relationship to share your love rather than to keep
receiving love. Opposite to what many may believe, it’s
not the receiving of love that takes away loneliness, but
the giving of love.

The most beautiful experience in life is the sharing of

love. But that’s not possible unless we are filled with love.
When we learn to fill ourselves with love from our source,
whether it’s a person, nature, God, or the energy of the
universe, then we come to our partner with fullness
within rather than emptiness. Instead of wanting our
partner to complete us, we desire instead to share our
completeness to them.
When two people come together to keep receiving love
rather than to heal, learn, and reciprocate love, the
relationship won’t last. With both parties trying to
receive love, and neither one gives, each will be
disappointed. Soon they will realize, they picked the
wrong partner.

When two people develop a relationship to grow together,

heal each other, share experiences and companionship,
and share their love and sexual passion, there is a greater
chance for a lasting relationship.

When these couples are asked why they want a

relationship, they would say:

I have a lot of extra love to give, and I want to share it with

someone who also has a lot of love to give. If my love expands
and expands, I might even be open to having children.

I want to grow and learn with someone who also wants to do

the same thing.

I want to share companionship, time, sex, laughter, and fun with

someone I feel deeply connected with.

If you look deep inside the recesses of your heart and ask
yourself why you want a relationship. Why? Why? Why
do you want a relationship? You find yourself asking the
same thing over and over again, but never get a satisfying
answer, don’t worry. You can learn how to fill yourself
with love so that you can finally take that first step of
sharing that love with another person.

Always remember that we attract people with the same

level of health as we do. When you get to the level of
taking responsibility for our happiness and selflessness,
we attract people of the same frequency.

If you believe this with every fiber of your being, you are
ready for a healthy and loving relationship with a partner.
We must love ourselves enough, so our love overflows to
our partners.

Chances are, you’re going to wed someone similar to you.

The same level of intelligence, same height, same body
weight. A new study of thousands of married couples
shows that this isn’t an accident. We don’t marry smart
people because we happen to hang around with smart
people—we actively seek them out. And these preferences
shape our genes.

This study sets the records straight and saves on so much

wasted ink on why it’s so common to find couples with
similar traits.

Researchers tapped into large databases to track physical

traits of humans from height and body mass index.
The study revealed that there is strong evidence that
people had actively chosen partners with roughly the
same genes to themselves.

This also shows in nature such as when brightly colored

bluebirds mate with each other, and the duller colored
bluebirds mate within their group as well.

This kind of selective mating increases relatedness in a

family and can make their children survive better as long
as the characteristic proves to be beneficial. An example
would be to acquire mates.

These studies show that mate choice affects our genetic

structure. Selective mating increases the odds that a trait
such as height will be passed to one’s children.

An example would be a couple who are both doctors and

are both tall.

We’ve all heard it at some point in our lives: “You'll find a

person to love when you're not looking.” Some believe it,
and the rest dismiss it as illogical. How likely are you to
find your wallet if you’re not looking for it? How about
your cellphone? How likely are you to receive that pay
increase if you don’t put in the work to be noticed?
Just because humans are mobile doesn't mean they will
simply walk into your life. On top of all that, if you're not
searching, who's to say that you'll take notice of this
person when he or she walks into your life?

There is a difference between actively and passively

searching for a partner. Seeking for someone actively by
dating sites or going out to bars has a much higher
success rate than not taking any action steps. Actively
looking gets exhausting, and the fact is, much of who we
meet in our life depends on our luck.

The important thing to remember is not to spend so

much time searching for someone to love, but making sure
that we are ready to love once we find someone worth our
love.

How does a person prepare to fall in love? We must know

the type of person that can make us the happiest person
in the world. Sometimes the right person for you is your
best friend.

If we imagine the one we would like to spend forever

with, the person we will spend all our days with, and the
person we will raise a family with, and support for as long
as we live, we should be searching for the one that we will
have the most fun with. A person that will get into all
sorts of trouble with us, explore with us, support our
dreams, and make us better.
What we should all be looking for is not just a partner for
life, but a partner in crime. Life is meant to be fun.

There is a story of a woman who went away for a week-

long retreat in the woods. She went on bike rides alone
and raced up hills. It was during this time that she had
moments of clarity washing over her.

She rediscovered herself as a passionate, fast-paced,

highly-competitive, and relentless person. She also
realized that what she needs is a person who can keep up
with her. She wanted someone to test her limits and make
her better.
 Chapter 3
It Is Hard to Keep a Sexual Connection with
Your Partner

Intimacy is not a happy medium. It is a way of being in

which the tension between distance and closeness is
dissolved and a new horizon appears. Intimacy is beyond
fear.
-Henri Nouwen

Part of being intimate is having a sex life with your

partner. When there is a problem in the sexual life, it can
be very challenging for couples. This part of the book
looks at some reasons why a sexual relationship might
prove to be difficult.

Loss of desire is common in both men and women. The

person who does not want to have sex may seem as if
they have stopped functioning as a human being. It may
seem like he or she would never initiate sex or has lost all
interest in you.

If there’s trouble in your sex life, this can lead to other

difficult feelings, such as frustrations and distress.

There are many possible reasons a couple suddenly stops

having sex. These range from physical to psychological,
and environmental reasons.

1. Physical problems

Sometimes you may not be aware that you have a physical

problem. What do you think about yourself ? What part
of your body are you most conscious of ? Are you insecure
of your small penis? Are you insecure of your
performance in bed? Are you insecure of your erectile
dysfunction?

Other physical problems include extreme stress from

overworking.

2. Psychological problems

Psychological factors are thought to have a major role in

your sexual life. How you feel in your head can have a
huge impact on whether you have good sex or not. The
way we think can be the sole determinant in whether you
will have sex tonight or not.
Think about how your feelings right now. Perhaps this
could be affecting your partner too, how do you think you
are feeling?

3. Problems with your environment

Where you live, and your surroundings also play a part in

your sexual connection with your partner. If you have
kids in the house, it may be difficult to get an erection.

To have the full sex life experience, you need to spend

time alone together. A crowded space can affect your sex
life immensely.

3. Problems With Social Pressure

Every day advertising shows us images of people with

perfect bodies. Sometimes it can be difficult to fall short
of these ideal portraits. When we look at our bodies and
see a disconnect, we often feel discouraged to approach
women who you want to have sex with for fear of being
insulted or rejected.

Sex is a difficult subject to talk about with others.

Keeping it all inside can make you feel very isolated and
alone.
But sex is personal for all couples. What seems wrong for
you may be perfect for another couple. Each of us has our
expectations of sex. What’s important is to have an open
discussion about your specific sexual needs if there are
any.

It can happen as time passes—you start to lose the love

you used to have. You’ll wake up one day and realize that
although you still love your partner, there is no
connection anymore between both of you. It would even
come at a point wherein you’d think if there was ever a
connection in the first place.

Most people look for sparks with their partner. This spark
is said to be caused by love. Beyond that, perhaps they
have tried to choose a lover from a similar social
upbringing, or someone with similar intelligence levels,
and educational attainments. Having similar interests,
goals, and hobbies are important. So is the desire to have a
family, educate the future kids within a particular religion
or way of thinking. When you feel truly connected with
another person, the sparks just come naturally.

4. A good sexual connection is of high importance.

The focus here is not whether the couple no longer even

like each other, or if there is a third party, or when you
both find each other boring or disgusting. In most cases,
couples do still love each other deep down, but what
changed?

With the passage of time, it is possible that your interests

change. Your sexuality wanes, and your goals shift one
way or another.

5. Attraction Factors

When you are truly attracted to someone, you see that

person beyond the empirical definitions of beauty. These
only serve us in the initial stage of a relationship. The
chemistry, the physical pull, the history of conversations
that show us that this person is the same wavelength as
us, the desirability of that person are some of the factors
that help us know the reasons we are attracted someone.

However, these are not enough to point out the real

connection between two people.

The real connection is our inner self. It has to do with our

inner energy and our inner power.

The real connection has to come from a place where our

true self resides, on a level that goes beyond the physical
world, and connects us to our partner's inner self as well.

The most sacred journey you can go to is deep inside

yourself. Facing yourself with complete honesty, so that
you can understand why you are the way you are and
what you can make of yourself in the greater scheme of
things.

A deep understanding of your inner self brings us into a

state where the type of connection we form go beyond
the physical realm.

A connection to the self allows you to attract people into

your life that are on the same path as you.

But still what happens when sex is just not in the

equation anymore?

It takes a lot of effort to look inside yourself. It takes

more effort to let your partner do the same. Or to wait for
your partner to do it on his or her own.

When both of you awaken, the spark you once had during
the honeymoon phase can come back.

So how do you bring a marriage back to life?

First, realize, it's never too late to save a marriage. Any

time is a good time. The important thing is that you start.
It is like waking up from a deep slumber. The more you
wake up, the more you take in of the world.
Secondly, the beginning can vary for each person. For
example, your beginning might be reading this book, to
others, it’s intuition.

You are never the same person to every person you

encounter. You can be needy in one relationship, but
independent in another one. These two are involuntary
reactions to your situation. There is not much you can do
about something that developed since your childhood.

Let me tell you another story.

A 35-year old man has been in a two-year relationship

with his girlfriend. This is the longest he has stayed in a
relationship. Other relationships only lasted a few months
to a year. At the beginning of the relationship, he had a
song sexual attraction to his girlfriend, but now it has
disappeared.

This time he was sure he had found the right one. He was
happy because he felt it was already time to get married
and was looking forward to having children. However,
even though he loves his partner, he has started to lose his
sexual feelings for her. He isn't driven to have sex with
her any more. Instead of three or four times a week, sex
has been reduced to once every two weeks. Then once
every 2 months. Unsurprisingly, his girlfriend is already
complaining. He feels he is cheating on her as he
fantasizes other women, and is convinced he can’t make
love to his girlfriend anymore.

Cases like these are commonplace. Many men and women

have these feelings that make them confused. The problem
is, they think that love and lust are the same things.

In 1979, the word limerence was coined. It’s the period in

a relationship where you are falling in love and feeling
lust at the same time. During this time, love hormones are
released into your system. These love chemicals can spark
euphoria, increased energy, and desire.

They are the reason for your newfound passion and the
rose-colored glasses we see our partners through.
Limerence feels great, but it doesn’t last forever. It has a
shelf life lasting from about six months to two or three
years. It gradually declines over time.

Some people feel the after effects of limerence and leave

the relationship. Some choose to stay.

Some people get engaged during limerence, but a few

months before the wedding, after the date is set, the venue
is chosen, and guests have booked overseas tickets, the
wedding gets canceled because one party got cold feet.

Other people realize their wives are not the loves of their
life after all, however, by this time, they’re already
expecting a child, or well their children are teenagers or
adults already.

The phrase, “I love my spouse, but I’m not in love

anymore,” is common in the lips of a weary man.

Most people believe the fireworks of those few months in

a relationship will last forever, but in most cases, it doesn't
happen. We are in a society that perpetuates an image that
romantic love is the happy ending.

When the lust fades away, a deeper commitment is

needed. This is where marriage comes in.

When feelings of love and lust disappear, people spend

less time together. They start to have fights, arguments
or stop speaking to each other. They feel unappreciated.
Resentment soon builds up, and they drift apart. It's easy
to understand how people fall out of love, and eventually
stop having sex with each other.

One reason is a lack of emotional intimacy. This can only

be achieved after spending a lot of time together and
connecting with each other.

There is no quick fix, but when you notice the passion

dwindling in your relationship, it’s time to discuss what
you are experiencing with your partner and turn things
around.
Recently, there has been some attention on low sex or no
sex marriages. In such a situation usually one partner has
low libido or there is a difference between their level of
sexual desire.

The longer the time two people avoid sexual contact, the
harder it becomes to bring back intimacy. The longer they
withhold sex, the more they can blame each other.

Marriage with low or no sex can deteriorate and conflict,

boredom, and frustration surface. With the right
motivation, the passion of relationships can reignite.

Sexuality is as crucial as it is complex. There are many

ways to express sexuality and no particular sexual
frequency is considered normal.

For majority of people, sexuality is healthy for so long as

it doesn’t cause either partner to be in distress or
emotional torment. Healthy sexual lives allow people to
enjoy pleasure and have realistic expectations of their
partners.

Maintaining attraction, sexual desire, and trust is a never-

ending process that takes a lot of effort and initiative for
both parties. When a person’s sexual expression begins to
slow down and lack magic, the key to sparking sexual
desire is to enjoy natural, non-demanding pleasuring,
increasing closeness and having fun with each other. Both
parties must be determined to restoring the sexual
energy between them.

A low sex drive can have numerous causes. These include

a history of sexual abuse, feelings of guilt from previous
sexual encounters, fears of a lack of genuine feelings for
one’s partner, and fears of failure.

These secrets usually damage the trust in a relationship

and can impair communication between your partner. In
an ideal situation, they should be sorted out between each
other. If the problem persists, a therapist, best friend, or
sibling might come in handy. If left unresolved, they can
become toxic to a relationship.

Other factors affecting sexual desire can include issues

such as fears of pregnancy or difficulties such as
infertility, fears of abandonment, shame about a sexual
fetish, the need to protect a partner or lack of physical
attraction.

For a person with medical problems or chronic health

issues, additional factors may cause the lack of sexual
desire. These include negative feelings or shame about
one’s body. Additional issues are feelings of being a
burden, fears of being rejected, feelings of dread when
thinking about preparing for sex, chronic fatigue
syndrome, lack of privacy, erectile dysfunction,
ejaculation difficulties, and not feeling good enough as a
sexual partner.

Increasing sexual desire is possible but requires a

commitment of both parties in a relationship. Some
experts have given instructions designed to reignite
sexual interest. To maintain a healthy sexual life you have
to take time and expend a lot of energy.

The most crucial components in maintaining sexual

desire are to function as a team, anticipate sexual
encounters, realize that sex is more than intercourse and
orgasm, spend time with foreplay, be open to sexual
experimentation, maintain a regular rhythm of affection
and sexual contact.

Be dedicated to making your relationship stronger by

fostering your sexual life together.
Some marriages can stay afloat in spite of low sexual
desire or little to no sex. Contrary to some beliefs, it’s
possible to have a positive relationship without sexual
desire or sex. However, over time, the absence of sexual
desire becomes damaging. Tension arises, and intimacy is
destroyed. In these relationships, built up anger becomes a
constant issue. For one partner, denying sex is a way to
fight back and withholding sex can be a reaction to issues
with one’s spouse.
If the absence of sexual desire has been a continuous
problem, dealing with unexpressed anger may be the
stepping stone in restoring intimacy. Blaming your spouse
doesn’t accomplish anything. It only adds flame to the fire
and divides a relationship further apart.

Both parties need to take responsibility and deal with

their problems to break a slump and promote positive
change. Regardless of what caused the problem, it’s easier
to break the cycle if you’re able to talk about the sexual
difficulty as an issue of both parties. Looking at a lack of
sexual desire as a couple of problem reduces blame, guilt,
and defensiveness.

For a lot of people, intimacy adds fire to the marital

relationship and promotes a sense of connection.
However, the real test of a marriage is to keep the
intimacy alive during tough times. Maintaining intimacy
during hard times is a sure sign of a healthy relationship.

An important thing to keep in mind is that conflict does

not have to hinder emotional closeness and harboring
feelings of anger is not a limitation of being sexual. In
fact, angry sex is one of the best ways to have sex in the
world. For most of us, it’s important to deal with anger,
conflict, and frustration outside of the bedroom, but for
other couples, they solve it in the bedroom. In other
situations, it could entail asking for professional assistance
with a problem instead of letting frustration slowly eat up
your relationship.

Many men would gladly have sex with their house cleaner
than their wives.

In the same logic, married women would gladly have sex

with their yoga teacher.

The truth is, being with the same person over and over
again makes other people a million times more attractive.

Other than that, probably the main reason why your

spouse won’t screw you is because you now look a lot
uglier than you once were.

Everybody loses hair, gains weight, and adds a few

wrinkles over time. Nobody looks fresh forever no matter
how good your cosmetic surgeon is.

Not many real people are as good looking like porn stars,
and it’s sad that desire in men is being conditioned to be
aroused only by a ridiculous standard.

There is pressure on men to look like celebrities and

commercial models. We see this every day when we go to
work or when we go online.
Unfortunately, some men and women have standards used
to point out the smallest imperfections of their partners.
But certainly, decent physical and dental hygiene, decent
clothes that flatter your shape, attractive hairstyles and
slight weight loss should be the least you can do to spark
that physical attraction again.

Weight gain in a culture that praises slimness is usually

the complaint from people who don’t feel as much
attraction to their partner anymore. Other than its being
unable to meet societal standards, a big belly or a broader
backside interferes with sexual positioning.

Make a positive request to your partner to make an effort

to increase your sexual desire. As obnoxious as that
sounds, steps must be taken to move forward. Verbal
abuse or repetitive nagging is a big no-no.

Maybe plan a family activity that includes time for your

partner to get some exercise. Realize that weight is a
complex concept. Your partner probably desires to be
thinner and isn’t carrying extra weight to spite you.

Remember that if the sparks die, and staying married is

the only way to remain stable in life, it doesn’t mean that
you should stop having sex or stop feeling desire for your
wife.
If you’re on a mission to get your partner to have sex
with you, you have to put in some time and effort. Take in
as much information from books, YouTube, or the local
playboy. The oxytocin that’s released during an orgasm
will build a strong physical bond that will cement the
bond between you and your partner. All your efforts will
be worth it once your partner goes back to her youthful
self.

Many people start out as cold-blooded, but overtime

develops a strong desire to mate with constant sex.

They say marriage is made up of three buckets. There’s

practical duties, friendship, and sex.

Expending too much energy in one bucket leads to

emptiness in the other buckets.

Imagine not putting enough in the practical duty bucket,

that is, being jobless with a messy house, huge debt, poor
health, troubled kids, and loss of hope in life. Surely
there’s no stronger sex-killer than these factors.

Make sure to seek out ways to be closer to your partner.

Turn off your phone during dinner, go out every week
just the two of you, hire a baby sitter, delegate tasks to
house help, take baths together, cuddle, talk, go on a
couple’s retreat, read an erotica book, go to a sex
therapist, initiate the sex, accept the sexual advances of
your partner, put reminders on your phone to do romantic
things, call your wife and talk dirty to her, help ease the
household burden. If nothing else works, pop a blue pill.
That will get things going for you.

Many women often have a low sexual desire for their

husbands because their skills in the bedroom don’t match
that of their previous lovers. While men struggle to see
their wife as a sexual figure.
One thing is clear if you’re the woman in the relationship
and you know your partner doesn’t see you sexually
anymore, and you want to be seen sexually, then you
should do something about it.

Take some action steps. Tell your partner your turn-ons.

Tell your partner how to touch you. Show him excerpts
from erotica books that you would like to reenact. Show
him that Game of Thrones episode that awakened the
sexual beast inside you. Write down your favorite sexual
fantasy and leave it unabashedly on the coffee table for
him to read.

If you’re starting to develop some strong sexual feelings

towards someone, just remember that there is a difference
between acknowledging your being a sexual creature and
going on with your life and suddenly inviting your
secretary to dinner dates.
If you’re afraid of your partner for any reason
whatsoever, understand that all couples feel angry with
each other now and then. A relationship is not rainbows
and butterflies all the time. When you’re in a choke hold,
adjust your expectations.

If you’re withholding sex because you’re afraid to give

your whole heart to your partner, remember this fact, the
number one thing widowed husbands regret is not giving
enough love to their wives. Not saying the things that
could have been said. Not sharing the passion that was
withheld.

If you’ve simply had enough of your marriage and choose

to leave, remember this fact, marriage doesn’t end simply
because of one party. Admit that you did some wrong too.
And when your next spouse asks you why your marriage
ended, remember to tell him or her it wasn’t all your
partner’s fault, because the last person someone would
marry is someone who blames the other person
completely.
 Chapter 4
Difficulty in Dealing with Anger in
Relationships

Fighting is as intrinsic to marriage as sex. And the goal

for both activities is to do them well.
-Les and Leslie Parrott

Every person who has walked the earth knows that anger
is a difficult emotion to handle. It’s when we are angry
that we feel most powerful, but at the same time, it’s when
we are most vulnerable.

When we are angry, the energy in our body clouds our

mind and everything turns to red. We do what we never
expected ourselves to do. When we are angry at our wife,
sometimes emotions get the better of us, and we end up
abusing her. Not just physically, but also emotionally and
mentally.
When we obey our anger we could be looking at millions
of dollars of lost profit. Especially if your wife files for
divorce and she’s got proof that you abused her.

Our anger burns our money like a forest fire.

I will tell you anger is the hardest to control of all the

emotions. Many prisoners will tell you the same thing.
They will tell you if they were able to control their anger,
they would not rot in jail for years or their whole lifetime.

Anger is as ingrained in a person’s heart as hunger or

thirst. It is something we can never remove no matter
how hard we try. All we can do is control it.

However, as mysterious as emotions are, there are some

things we know about anger. It is like wielding a double-
edged sword. While we use it to strike our enemies, we
are hurting ourselves.

If you are a CEO and someone got angry at you for not
doing your job well, he or she is not scolding you, but the
CEO in you.

If your parents get angry at you, they are not scolding

you, but the child in you.
If your sibling gets angry at you, they are not scolding
you, but the brother in you.

If an older person gets angry at you, they are not

scolding in you, but the younger you.

Controlling your anger now will save you from a million

moments of future suffering.

If you feel anger, it only means you are attached to the

person. You are attached to the thing. You are attached to
the belief. You are attached to the feeling.

A high-rank person knows how to handle the energy

within their body to release tension. Meditation is the
watered down version of this technique. Counting to ten
is also an effective technique.

If you harness the energy within you, things around you

will change like magic.

You commit abuse because you need to prove that you

aren’t weak. But abuse is the weakest thing you can do for
your career. It will haunt you until the day you die. Your
children will never forget it. And your spouse can use it to
their advantage. Especially in court.

Insulting someone would only create bad karma for you.

You can insult them in your head, but to utter the words
out loud creates a string of bad energy around you that
will only drive away good fortune.

Having a short temper is a sign of anger controlling you

and not the other way around. If you look deep in your
childhood history, you will find the source of your anger.
Try closing your eyes. Take deep breaths. Be aware of the
breath going in and out of your body. Then be aware of
the energy within you. Command it to circulate your
body. If you focus your attention on your energy, you will
begin to enjoy this, and you will forget about the trivial
issues that made you angry. You are aware of your power.
And that is what matters.

You will come to realize that the past is the reason for our
anger. We have always believed that we are powerful. And
when somebody challenges that, we doubt our capacity to
win. But you can win. You are not wrong to think that
you are powerful. You must believe you can win. You can
even do it without drawing blood.

You must stand on your principle. Your enemy has as

many loopholes as you. A human can only make so many
right moves.

Another method is to reduce your secrets. You must put

your trust into someone or something.
You can never win on your own. You have to at least pick
one ally. If your wife is your enemy, let me tell you, things
won’t end well. It is better to get the only person who
would possibly care for you to be on your team.

To recollect yourself, the best wisdom in times of anger is

meditation.

If you wish to end your anger in a bloody way, it will only

lead you to the gate of misfortune.
Anger is a result of our expectations not being met.

When we do net get the results we wanted or when

people disappoint us, it can burn relationships to ashes.

The key to understanding why your wife makes you

angry is looking at your past. Perhaps a history of abuse
has left you defensive of your pride.

You may try to run away from anger when it happens, but
it is as inevitable as the coming of the seasons. Only when
you feel far above their ignorance can you transcend
anger. When you transform that anger to pity, you begin
to dissipate your anger like a balloon releasing air.

Anger can make the people around you extremely

uncomfortable. Even scared. But the way to approach it is
not to suppress it because it will build up inside you like a
volcano. You must find a way to transfer that dangerous
energy into a worthwhile cause.

When you help someone else, you help yourself. The way
to manage anger is to be thankful of your enemies. For
they have shown you how to make yourself better. An
enemy converted is a client gained. If you are in tune
with your body, you know when the body is in
equilibrium. You know that something is off because of
tension and pain.

Mild anger gives your body neck tension.

Anger makes your skin hot, increases the volume and

intensity of your voice, creates extreme tension on the
neck, and tightens all your muscles. It is a terrible state to
be in. You can destroy everything that you ever earned in
life in this state.

The good news is, anger can be managed.

You may not be aware of it, but your childhood is still

making you angry.

When you’ve been taken advantage of by people too

many times, you would want to lash out too. Feelings of
betrayal make you want to protect yourself from making
yourself feel good.
Couples with a good relationship don’t happen by
accident. There are people who know how to handle anger
when it comes to them because they are aware of its
consequences to their life and career.
Being aware of yourself at the peak of your anger is
wisdom. Mercy is wisdom. That is your higher self
telling you that after your anger comes years of suffering.

When your body is in equilibrium again, you can begin to

heal your life using your wisdom. If not, there’s always
Grey Goose.

A study shows that the average office worker is angry in

his work station twice a day. The reason for their anger
are coworkers, computer problems, and rude clients.

Anger from the workplace often trickles down to the

household.

Keep this in mind before you step into your house. To

every problem, there is a solution.

If we are in a bad mood, anything can make us angry. A

person cuts ahead of you on the road. A subordinate
insulting you. A trainee who disappointed you. This can
blow our head off.

Anger is a normal, healthy emotion. It means you are

human and not a corpse.
However, rage can lead to irreversible problems at work,
partnership, relationships, marriage, and quality of life.

If you often feel rage, you become less free. You are
bound by your emotion. Your enemies can use this to their
advantage because they know they can hit you where it
hurts the most.

You cannot control the events and people that make you
angry. And you cannot change them. All you can do is
control your reaction. You can control your within.

There are some people who are more short-tempered than

others. Some get angry more easily than you. Some are
calmer than you. Then there are those who are ready to
die who don’t feel anger anymore.

Short-tempered people are usually not the ones that say

curse words and throw things. Sometimes short-tempered
people withdraw from society and get an illness.

People with a short temper have a low tolerance for

contempt. In other words, they cannot take that they
receive contempt or any inconvenience. They cannot
manage the little things that make them annoyed.
Example, they cannot handle being corrected for a
mistake.
Experts say that some children are born irritable. Other
experts say that children were raised never to express
anger. As a result, when it comes to them, they simply
can’t handle it.
 Chapter 5
There Are Always Disagreements with Your
Partners

A good friend just told me that the key to a successful

marriage was to argue naked.
-Leann Rimes

You might think you are fighting about money, sex,

children, in-laws, and addiction, but if you look closer,
you are fighting about something deeper than that. You
are fighting about your relationship.

You have become two people instead of one in your

marriage. Your minds are not in-sync anymore, and the
other person is frustrated that they cannot see your why
you are doing what she doesn’t like.
You expect them to understand, but they do not listen
because they don’t see why you do it. They don’t know
why you needed to flirt with that pretty receptionist or
why you needed to get an erotic massage.

At later stages of marriage, it is unlikely that couples care

for each other the way they did in their honeymoon
period.

They fight about practical things. The wife wants her

demands to be met while the husband works and the
husband is exhausted because his wife can’t compensate
for his exhaustion. He wishes the wife would do
something to make his exhaustion worth it, but the wife is
thinking of other things like the kids, church, or the sexy
gardener in the house.

There is no force on earth that can tell you that two

people are the same. There will always be conflict between
two people. The closer you are to each other the more the
likelihood of experiencing great betrayal.

To avoid a tragic ending to a relationship like an

expensive divorce, you must be strategic with settling
disagreements.

After the honeymoon phase of marriage is the beginning

of conflict.
If you put a man and a woman in the same house long
enough without sex, there will be blood.

However, the issue is not that they argue, but how you
handle the argument.

Instead of insulting the person, you must express your

feelings. You can even sing it in a song just to calm her
down.

Remember it’s better to say, “I’m very angry right now.”

instead of saying, “You’re being a cunt right now.”

Insulting your wife is grounds for verbal abuse, and it can

work to your disadvantage in court when she files for
divorce. The more bullets she has in her arsenal; the more
damage she can incur to your bank account.

However, a successful marriage is not having to worry

whether your partner is going to steal everything from
you. A successful marriage is being confident that your
wife is on your side.

Successful marriages have partners who don’t run away

from fights. If you know you’re in until the end, you know
somebody has to compromise. And someone has to
swallow their pride to avoid expensive mistakes.
A powerful couple argues with finesse. One person speaks,
and the other listens.

A powerful couple knows they are stronger as a team.

Abuse in a relationship is the weapon of the weak. Real

power is creating a win-win situation for all parties
involved.

A smart spouse knows when to say, “Let’s discuss it in the

morning.”

Let’s say your wife is planning a vacation with your in-

laws in Hawaii. You hate your in-laws and her relatives as
well. Make a compromise by getting a private room with
just you and your wife, schedule in some alone time in a
golf club; you could also address your fears by talking to
her family. If all goes to hell, there’s always a cold one in a
bar somewhere in Hawaii.

There are three possible sexual problems in a marriage.

The wife wants to have sex, but you don’t.

You want to have sex with her, but she doesn’t.

Or both of you don’t want to have sex with each other.

The likely answer is the third one, but let’s try to keep the
family together for the children’s sake.

Marriage can seem like a farce at this point. But there’s

more to marriage than sex.

You have to agree on something that will make both of

you have similar frequencies.

An example would be taking care of your kids. When one

of your kids is having a difficult time in life, like
undergoing cancer treatment or having a mental
breakdown, this is when parents really come together as
one. They become the singular unit they were designed to
be.

Another example is earning money for your retirement,

creating properties for rent or creating businesses. You
don’t want to be spending your retirement money on a
divorce, do you?

For younger couples fighting means better sex, but for

older couples, sex is definitely off the table. Especially if
the reproductive areas don’t function the way, they do
anymore.

Couples who are cynical or hostile towards the world are

easily provoked, while couples who never seem to fight
have little to no hostility towards the world.
Wives are notorious for starting a fight in a marriage. It
is the husband’s job to calm the wife before things get out
of hand.

A few things are clear. It is wrong to abuse your spouse

verbally. Especially when they are doing everything in
their power to keep the family intact.

If a fight ends in a bad end, surely it can have disastrous

effects for the rest of your day.

If a fight ends in a good end, both parties can remain

hopeful about the future.

When a couple fights, they switch from being allies to

becoming enemies.

The goal of a marital fight is not for someone to lose, but

for both parties to win.

Here is something a few people cannot grasp. All conflicts

can be discussed maturely.

Productive arguments are what makes couples who stay

together for a lifetime different from couples who divorce.
A study of 145 couples showed that they felt more
satisfied in their relationship after one year than those
who did not get training.

A study also showed that money is the number one reason

why couples argue. Husbands would complain about the
wife’s unnecessary spending. Men hate it when their
wives or girlfriends are more adventurous than them.

Expensive divorces happen for many reasons. One is the

stress of raising children. Another is a huge age gap
between two partners. Another reason for divorce is
because of a highly-educated woman.

When wives have high levels of education, they know

exactly how to get their husbands.
 Chapter 6
Chronic Stress in A Relationship

They say love is blind and marriage can restore your

vision. -Anonymous

You just came home from a stressful day at work. Your

body is craving for sleep, and your stomach is grumbling
for food. Then your wife comes up to you saying she
wants a divorce. All hell breaks loose.

Suddenly age-old issues start springing back to life, and

pent-up emotions are put on the table. The plates start
flying from the dish rack, and before long someone walks
away. The kids are traumatized in the backdrop, and
somebody has to clean up the mess in the house.
This is a picture of how stress can build up in a
relationship and cause its downfall.

Below are some stories of people at the most stressful

moment in their relationship.

Shelley, a student, shares that she felt most stressed when

she was unemployed, was having fertility problems, and
had trouble with in-laws who couldn’t accept her as she
was.

Carl, a divorcee, shared that his most stressful moment

was when his wife cheated on him. His girlfriend slept
with his best friend on an overseas youth club trip to
Portugal.

Fran, an English teacher, shares that the most stressful

moment in her life was when her husband left her and her
two daughters out of the blue.

Geoffrey, a taxi driver and service trainer shares that his

most stressful moment was when his bipolar girlfriend
slept with most of the doctors and nurses in the mental
hospital she stayed in.

Steve, a divorcee shares that his most stressful moment

was when his doctor told him his legs had to be operated
on or he would have to use a wheelchair. At this point, his
wife left him when he needed her the most.
Many marriages end in divorce because they married for
the wrong reasons.

Women would say, “I married him because he is rich.”

After a couple of years in the marriage, women would say

they’ve lost their identity.

Many women would complain that they go into a

relationship without knowing who they are first.
After the marriage, they would say I don’t know what
music I like, what movies I like, what food I like. I want to
explore the world.

After the divorce, the husband is left with a failed

marriage and expenses to settle.

If self-discovery is not the case, the children ruin the

marriage.

Couples don’t have time for each other anymore, and they
soon grow apart with different goals in life.

Their differences slowly tear them apart. After a few

years, two people in a relationship start to make different
goals. Personality differences also become more evident.
Example, if you become a serial saver, the other becomes
a serial spender. This is the kind of situation that gives
children mental health issues.

Another source of stress is when the woman wants the

man to be more romantic, and the man wants the woman
to be more sexual. What they don’t know is that when
both parties get what they want, they provide what the
other person needs.

When both parties can’t fulfill each other's needs, they

start to look for love in other people. This could often lead
to third parties in the relationship which can be toxic to a
relationship if not handled properly.

Somewhere in the human DNA, there is a code that tells

us to change when we are not happy. Many partners
would show this by blaming, complaining, nagging, and
manipulating. When one party forces the other to do
something they don’t to do, it could lead to disaster in a
marriage.

Another thing that can cause chronic stress in a

relationship is the lack of compatibility in how to handle
the finances in a marriage. While it’s true that opposites
attract, it doesn’t usually apply to the financial
department.

If one party thinks that you should not worry about the
future, the other is thinking of the long-term expenses.
Especially if you have children, who are one day going to
expensive universities. When things get out of hand in
the financial department, it’s likely that the marriage can
end in divorce.

However, you can still save your marriage. You might not
have sex anymore, but showing you care for your partner
is key to maintaining the relationship. It also doesn’t hurt
to do some physical contact.
Hello and goodbye kisses and hugs are a great way to
show affection.

While it is healthy to have alone time, you have to find

ways to have a common experience together to avoid
growing farther apart. This is what you should do if you
want to save your relationship.
Just make sure your spouse knows that you care for him
or her. If you stop caring for them, you are more likely to
get a divorce. And you can finally be at peace with your
mistress. However, marrying the mistress comes with its
own set of disadvantages. One example is losing the
female demographic in your business. Married women
tend to only support businesses that support fellow
women and not men who replace their wives for another
woman. Especially if the woman is decades younger than
you.

However, divorce is not always bad. It is very common

nowadays. Especially in Hollywood. However, aside from
being bad for the business, it can also lead to bad blood
between two family clans. It’s like having a dark cloud
following you around when you go out in public.
Especially when you live in highly traditional countries.

There are many red flags for divorce. First is when your
partner is having an affair or having multiple affairs.
Another red flag is when your partner is abusive. Not just
physically, but also financially.

Some signs that marriages can break down fast is when

you don’t have a good relationship with your in-laws.
Studies show that a good relationship with in-laws means
a stronger marriage.
 Chapter 7
Business CEO Worries About the Business
and How to Acknowledge His Partner’s
Feelings

Most of the successful people I’ve known are the ones

who do more listening than talking.
-Bernard M. Baruch

Business CEOs tend to be very smart, but sometimes

being very smart in the brain means being very dumb in
the heart.

Business CEOs and politicians usually don’t have time to

think about the wife. After a few years of the marriage,
the wife merely becomes a placeholder. Although not all
business CEO s are like this. There are those who know
how to acknowledge their partner’s feelings.
But the question remains, why do people fail to keep the
magic alive in a relationship? Are all marriages doomed to
be lackluster after a while?

When the sparks are gone, some couples don’t withstand

the test of time, and the marriage ends in separation.

Paul, a flight trainee, said he broke up with his girlfriend

after her emails and texts became less interesting and less
informative. His girlfriend’s emails started to sound like
lip service like she’d rather do something else than talking
to him. After two days of thinking, Paul broke up with
her.

Ukah Chukwude, a father, and priest in Nigeria, says it

was his overconfidence and arrogance that led to the
breakup of his relationship. He never apologized for his
mistakes in the relationship until his partner did. One day
he demanded an apology from his girlfriend until she had
enough of his attitude and broke up with her.

Business CEOs face the same challenges as Ukah. Because

of being highly intelligent, they tend to be arrogant, and
because of their busy schedules, they tend to be irritable
and emotionally cut off from their family.

It’s not easy being a CEO. When you’re a CEO of a big

company, your life becomes very public. Everything is
exposed from extramarital relationships, drug dealings,
political connections, and religious affiliations.

A divorce can impact business CEOs in more ways than

one.

Aside from emotional instability for the CEO, the

company also suffers. A divorce reduces the CEO’s
control of the organization. His influence wanes, and his
employees unconsciously take sides between their boss or
his wife.

The CEO himself also suffers as his productivity,

concentration, and energy is compromised.

The image of the company at large also gets affected as

issues come to light. Customers identify with one party
over the other and may choose to withhold their support
for the company.

Samantha, a professional matchmaker and author share

her experiences working with CEOs. To no surprise,
many people love to marry CEOs. After all, CEOs are
smart, powerful, and successful. But, just because someone
is skillful in business, does not make them a good
husband. It doesn’t mean that when you marry a CEO,
you will have a smooth marriage and a great life.
CEOs have huge responsibilities when it comes to their
company. This may be good financially, but to the
relationship, not so. As the wife of a CEO, you need to
make sure your husband can balance his responsibilities at
home so he can stay in tip top shape at work. This is no
easy feat for both parties.

CEOs are usually on call 24/7. This does not mean that
they are working all the time, but that they are always the
person to call when there is an emergency in the company.
This means that when you are eating out with your
husband, your dinner might get cut off. This also means
your husband being absent in your children’s soccer
games. The advantage to marrying a CEO is that you get
to go to restaurants and your children can go to private
schools.

CEOs are always under the watchful eye of the public.

When they are doing well, they are regarded as heroes.
Everybody wants to be their friend. However, when the
going gets tough, everybody points their fingers at them.
The invitations to go out start to die down, and they are
left to pick up the pieces of their mistakes. The wife needs
to be prepared with this fact and needs to be supportive
of the husband at his lowest point.

CEOs are business-oriented. They don’t usually think

about romance or games. They think about business.
That’s why it’s hard for them to recognize other people in
their homes. They’re always thinking about the business
and how to improve their company’s image and
performance. The CEO’s wife usually has to endure
nights with a news program blaring on the TV the whole
night or road trips with the radio set to the news. This is
when the wife gets irritated with the marriage.

The wife also has to endure a lot of fake smiles and fake
conversations in her husband’s social events. It doesn’t
mean she can’t enjoy herself, but it’s a lot of hard work
too.

CEOs work overtime a lot. It may seem like they have a

lot of employees in their hands, but the CEO has to carry
a majority of the burden on his back. That’s why it’s hard
for them to make time for the wife.

Jennifer Field, a mother, and wife of a CEO, shares that

being married to a CEO is hard work. Her husband is
always stressed, and it has a dangerous ripple effect on the
rest of the family. He can only devote so much time for his
family because of his job.

During vacation time, her husband still can’t take a break

from work. There’s always someone calling him for a talk
or a conference call.

When a CEO gets a divorce, it can have a negative impact

on his job.
Many studies show that a CEO’s job is unexpectedly
lonely. Especially when there is a company crisis or a
personal crisis.

There is only one chair for the CEO and if the CEO
panics, everybody panics.

Being a leader is a one of a kind job with amazing

benefits, but it can also be very confusing and conflicting.
You're expected to be strong, even if you're feeling
terrified inside. You're also expected to have all the
answers, even when you don't know. If you show any sign
of fear, you become less believable, and your employees
will lose faith in you.

It’s hard for some CEOs to fire their employees especially

when they are undergoing a personal crisis like cancer,
divorce, or family death.

However, CEOs share their fair share of personal crisis.

Sergey Brin, Google's cofounder, was not spared of

divorce. He and his wife split from his wife of six years
and is now dating another Google executive, a woman 14
years younger than him.
Apparently, the Brin and his wife had been living apart for
months. However, they remain to be good friends and
partners until now.

Brin is not alone among wealthy and high-ranking people

in the world who have marriage problems.

Harold Hamm, owner of Continental Resources, one of

the richest oil and gas drilling companies in the US, is
also filing for divorce. His wife is set to receive five billion
dollars in settlement money. If she gets her way, she
would be receiving the largest divorce settlement in US
history.

Justine Musk, ex-wife of billionaire genius CEO and

super success Elon Musk shares that to achieve success
like Bill Gates, Richard Branson, and Steve Jobs, you need
to have insanity and god-like genetics. However, with all
that success in Elon Musk’s career, he still failed in his
marriage.
 Chapter 8
Couples Don’t Have Time to Have a
Personal Connection in A Relationship

Deep connection is the antidote to madness.

-Stefan Molyneux

Nowadays, husbands barely have time for their wives and

children. They rarely even have time for themselves. Life
is all about work now.

However, it’s important to keep in mind that any couple

can have time to form a connection in the relationship if
they consider it important.

Parents usually get lost in their daily activities especially

after the birth of their kids.
Fathers get overwhelmed with their work load, and
mothers get busy running the household. They forget
about each other, and they become too tired to listen to
each other.

Society expects parents to put children first all the time.

In America, it’s very important that children join lots of
events and activities. Parents feel obligated to make sure
children are entertained unlike before when kids were just
left to themselves by parents.

Karen Eyers, a teacher, and parent, shares that the whole

“date night” advice she gets doesn’t work for her.

Margery Caroline Whittle, a parent from the UK, shares

that when she comes home from work, she has to cook
dinner, bathe her kids, hear them read, nag them to do
piano practice, taxi them to dance lessons, take them to
scouts, and take them to taekwondo lessons. On the
weekends, she catches up with housework, she shops, she
takes the family to grandma, they go to church, and they
prepare for the week ahead.

Angela Carleton, a former business development manager,

shares that her kids have to go to soccer, ballet, basketball,
football, and many other extra-curricular activities.

When parents don’t have time to build a connection in

their relationship, it often leads to a breakup.
They say resentment is the cause of all divorces.

There are so many differing causes of divorce. Some of

the big ones are cheating, alcohol abuse, drug abuse,
growing apart, and irreconcilable differences. However,
the cause of all divorces is resentment.
Everyone has resentment towards another. It starts the
day we meet our partner and continues until somebody
dies.

Resentment is inevitable. Little things about our partners

annoy us and cause negative feelings. The best advice
would be to hold it in to preserve the partnership more
than the temporary inconvenience.

Resentment is bitterness. It’s the experience of anger for

instance as a result of a real or imagined wrongdoing.

An example would be the wife resenting the husband for

snoring every night for the rest of her life.

Another would be the wife resenting the husband for

never changing the baby’s diapers.

Another example would be when the husband starts to go

out every weekend for drinks with his friends. The wife is
left home alone all the time. The time comes when the
husband stops going out, but the wife still holds the
painful memories of being alone in the house all the time.

How you handle the resentment could spell the outcome

of whether you become divorced or not.

When people feel resentment, they act out in several

ways. They cheat, use drugs, drink alcohol, verbally or
physically abuse their partner, use passive aggressive
behavior, and having a revenge mentality.

It’s best to talk to each other when there are feelings of

resentment so that it doesn’t build up and end up in
divorce.

Do you wonder why you stopped seeing your wife the

same way you did when you first met her?
One reason is laziness. People don’t want to fight for their
marriage anymore. In a world of quick fixes, it’s better to
start a new life.

Women plan expensive weddings and men find a woman

who will be worth it. But after a few years, it feels like it’s
not worth it anymore. All the hard work just to feel
depressed and old.

Blame seems to be the easy way out. It’s easy to blame a

spouse or marriage than to take responsibility.
If you get over your laziness, you can find a whole new
world waiting for you.

Another reason for divorce is the lack of communication

between each other. Nobody has time for a personal
connection anymore.

The most important conversation you can have for your

happiness is not your business partner, but your wife and
kids. Sparing even just a few minutes with them can
renew your vitality and nourish your soul down to its
core.

If you don’t communicate, you can’t solve your marriage

problems.

Listening is also just as important as expressing yourself.

It’s all about coming together to have a clear plan and

strategy about the workings of the household.

High expectations are the key to success, but not for

marriage. High expectations for marriage coupled with
laziness often end in unhappy marriages.

The woman who buys an expensive wedding dress has

very high expectations of marriage.
It’s rare for expectations to align with reality, especially in
marriage. For example, women are taught by society that
men want sex. From experience and exposure to movies
and TV, women know that sex is second nature to men.
Therefore, a man should have sex with you all throughout
your marriage, right? Not quite.

Some men don’t want to have sex with you after a certain
period. The desire dies down and women are left barren
and bare.

The worst part is, a woman is labeled a slut when she

sleeps with other men within a marriage, while a man is
called a legend when he sleeps with girls within a
marriage.

Women often say had they known their husbands would

not think of them as sexually desirable after some time,
they would not have married them.

Most of the time, when a husband or wife cheats, it’s

because of a problem in the marriage that pushed them to
take the bite.

It is also thought that children cause problems in the

marriage.

When married people are asked how their relationship

was before they had children, they would say we were
happier, more carefree, and more playful. Then they are
quick to point out that the children did not cause the
change of disposition.

The connection is clear. Children rob the parents of their

relationship with each other.

However, only the toughest of couples can withstand this

challenge without resenting their kids.

One mother shares that she once dreamed of having kids

who would love her unconditionally, but the reality is they
grew up to become so needy and resentful when they
don’t get what they want.

The cognitive dissonance comes when the parent’s

instinctive nature to hurt what caused their suffering
overpower their desire to care and nurture for their
children. Sometimes the negative energy can be passed on
to the wife and subordinates.

Make sure you sit down with your spouse now and then to
see if your goals and values are still on track. Air out
your expectations and action steps. The majority of
couples don’t do this because they feel it’s not necessary,
but it can help out in easing tension.
 Chapter 9
It Is Hard to Build Trust in A Relationship

Trust takes years to build, seconds to break, and forever

to repair.
-Anonymous

If you weren’t born yesterday, you know that people lie.

All people lie. Which makes it so hard to trust someone.
One lie can instantly break your trustworthy reputation.

It’s easy to accept it when strangers lie, but when our

loved ones do it, it causes pain in our heart.

Ella Mains, a blogger, and author, shares that she doesn’t

trust easily because she hasn’t been given enough reason
to.

Marissa Rogil, a musician and office worker, shares that

breaking someone’s trust is like shattering a beautiful
glass house. Once it’s broken, it’s broken.
Eran Ariel, a management student, says you should never
trust someone who lies. A liar is a liar and is never to be
trusted.

Vanya Marinova, a doctor, shares that we are afraid to

trust because we’re afraid we’ll be hurt and betrayed
again.

Sometimes past experiences make it hard for us to trust

someone.

Building trust is like building muscle; you can never be

muscular overnight. It takes time and exercise to build
muscle just like it takes time to build trust.

Building up trust needs a lot of effort. Just one mistake

and a single lie can lead to a slippery slope heading
towards betrayal and hurt.

Lying is a habit for some people. People who tell white

lies will soon be comfortable telling big ones. In a
relationship, you might catch your wife telling a lie. This
can be harmless at first, but if it forms a pattern and
insidious, it will destroy the marriage and the family like
poison in a well.

It's important to establish honesty in a relationship. Just

one lie can shatter annihilate trust. Decades of trust can
be destroyed with a string of words. And once trust is
compromised, it may be forgiven, but it can never be
forgotten.

You've spent so much time building an honest household

with someone, but when the trust is violated, it creates a
ripple effect, and uncertainty will loom over the house like
a dark cloud. You begin to question all you experienced
with your partner. Were there any other lies you missed.
Paranoia starts to creep in and the next steps you take in
a relationship can be like walking on egg shells.

Once trust is gone in a relationship, all other aspects

begin to crumble. When you’re caught in a lie, make sure
that every day is a commitment to restoring back your
partner’s trust. If you're trying to win someone's trust,
you have to earn it.

Trust is not something to joke around with. It has a real

market value, and it’s essential in all business
transactions. There’s no such thing as half-trusting
someone. It’s either you trust him, or you don’t. Lying
may seem rewarding at first, but in the long run, it will
bite you in the ass so hard.

If you become conditioned to lying, it’ll become ingrained

in your system, and you will be labeled in a community as
a snake. If you’re going to lie, let it be how much hard
work you did.
People aren't deceitful by accident. If they’re hiding
something from you, they have bad intentions. When a
spouse cheats, the relationship can suffer more from
hiding the truth than asking for forgiveness for cheating.

It’s become more difficult to remain trusting to life in this

time of uncertainty, divorce, and dysfunctional families.
Fortunately, many of us have friends and relatives we can
trust and let down our guard down to.

When stress intrudes our protected space and disturbs

our calm, we begin to doubt if we can endure the
marriage. Unconsciously, we may react to these doubts by
pulling away from our loved ones. While it’s dangerous to
be cynical, it’s also dangerous to be too trusting.

A significant number of psychologists reported that, over

the past ten years, there had been a rise in trust issues
among couples who seek therapy. Part of this increase is
likely due to recent technological advances that make it
easier for couples to be deceptive. Some of these
advancements are hiding text messages, cell phone call
lists, chat messages, and emails.

Betrayal is a violation of a spoken or unspoken agreement

between two parties. Example, a husband cheats on his
wife. How can trust be repaired after breaking it? The key
is in never repeating the same mistake again. However, if
you want to go deeper into life, you must understand that
betrayal is inevitable.

Living a life being paranoid about who is going to betray

you next is not living at all. Life is about taking risks. If
you want to be successful, you need to know where to
invest your trust in. It’s normal for a spouse to betray you.
It’s what happens when two people are in the same house
for too long.

Humans are as susceptible to lying as your pet cat is

susceptible to stealing your food. The key is trusting
someone enough to make you say it’s okay for my food to
be taken by that cat. She’s my cat.

We all have a dark side—qualities, needs, and powers that

are not fully known to us.

These shadowy aspects can cause damage to a

relationship, in part because they are unconscious and
express themselves without our knowing.

It may be anger, vengeance, selfishness, jealousy,

resentment, fear, or spite. It could be our need to be free,
important, powerful, and beautiful. Removing these
qualities in us is simply impossible.

So, how can your relationship benefit you if you know

betrayal is unavoidable? By using it to your advantage. If
anyone’s trust is going to be broken, let it not be yours. If
your spirit remains impervious to life’s poisons, good
fortune will follow you like a butterfly to a flower.
 Chapter 10
Cool War in A Relationship

When two people give each other the silent treatment, the
winner is always the one who cares the least.
-Anonymous

Men and women always have unspoken inner conflict.

In a marriage, this often manifests in a cold war.

In their heads, women have many complaints about their

husbands—the endless tasks in the house, the meals to
cook, the kids to take care of, and the expenses to manage.

Colly Frances, a mother, and wife, shares that she would

give her husband the silent treatment to regain her sanity
when she’s upset.
Heidi Rangel Knoderer, a former CEO, however, shares
that she set a rule when she and her husband were mad at
each other to always talk the problem out. She believes
spending many days without speaking builds up anger
inside and it’s not healthy for the relationship.

Shannon Giles from Texas shares that she gives herself

some quiet time when she is angry which may or may not
have anything to do with her husband. But one time she
got so angry at her husband after he came home drunk
and forgot all the plans they made for that night that she
drove off to their family’s beach house for the weekend
and didn’t speak to him until she came back home.

For some people, a good marriage is defined as being free

of conflict. This expectation has caused anguish to many
people since the commercialization of marriage. It’s also
been shared by clients to their therapists a million times.

It has been said that it is not the absence of conflict that

makes a marriage great, but how a couple handles the
conflict.

Some marital differences serve to nurture the marriage

rather than destroy it. The difference in viewpoints makes
for a good approach to tackle a problem.

A couple has to learn to compromise to make a marriage

work. However, disappointing it may sound, it is the key
to resolving conflicts. One party has to make way for the
other for the preservation of the relationship. Negotiation
is all about streamlining your goals as a couple.

A good fight can clear the bad air between two couples.
It’s good to know a couple can survive conflict and learn
from a clash of opinion. However, not all couples are so
lucky as they get trapped in an endless cycle of fighting
and blaming. When fights go on and on with no
intervention, they eventually destroy the love and respect
between two people. When the love and respect are gone,
you destroy the foundation of marriage.

Some people stay away from conflict because of a bad

experience with one’s parents. After all, it is conflict that
tears marriages apart. On the other hand, keeping
negative thoughts and feelings inside doesn’t give your
partner a chance to change their behavior. One of the
secrets of a good relationship is learning to choose your
battles wisely. You may know how to take down your
partner with a few sentences, but it takes great wisdom to
realize it’s better to let go of grievances than to ruin a
good relationship.

Research shows that productive fights can help a

relationship grow. Happy couples learn ways to be more
productive. The challenge of any couple is learning how
to bounce back from a fight.
Below are some suggestions on how to address conflict in
relationships.

1. Interact with your partner – Tell your partner what

you need from her and always to their side of the story.
You’ll learn more than you think.

2. Look at the problem in a problem-solving perspective –

Stop thinking you’re on the right because you could be
wrong in more ways than you think. There’s a reason the
topic was brought up—your solutions are not in-sync.
The discussion serves to get the best win-win solution
from both of you.

3. Use the word “I” more than “You” - Example, instead

of saying “Why did you buy that car?” you could say “I
felt hurt you bought that car without telling me first.”

4. Take breaks between fights. This will allow your brain

to come up with a rational solution rather than a rushed
one.

5. Pay attention to your body language – It could be

telling the truth on how you feel and it often contradicts
your words.

6. Establish relationship boundaries – Determine the non-

negotiables such as having an open relationship. Some
couples don’t tolerate these. However, some accept it as is
for the preservation of the marriage. That’s not to say it
doesn’t hurt one or even both parties, but human nature is
a funny thing.

There is an ongoing debate among marriage experts as to

whether or not all conflicts can be resolved. One side
thinks, yes, all conflicts can be resolved. While the other
thinks it's impossible to resolve all conflicts in a
relationship.

One thing is clear; the most skillful of partners view

marriage like driving a car on the road. It's better to have
a zero accident record. To do that takes a lot of skill and
maneuvering. That's why it's important to take your
conflict-resolving skills to the next level. Way beyond the
body level, but to a soul level. This way, you can begin to
see your marriage conflicts go down to zero.

Differences are usually what makes your partner desirable

to you. Agreeing to disagree is the practical thing to do
unless you’re planning to make a clone out of your
spouse. It can also help both of you to appreciate what
makes your partner unique.

It’s stupid to stay divided from each other over issues that
are petty. But how do you tell the difference between a
petty disagreement and an irreconcilable difference in
philosophy?
The answer is in how important you see the issue you’re
dealing with. There are certain decisions, such as having
children, building businesses, and choosing a home, that
may require interventions from family, friends, or an
expert to negotiate if you can’t resolve it.

Other problems like having pets, where to go on vacation,

how much to spend on dining out, may be easier to work
out on your own. In all instances, the answer lies in your
willingness to compromise.

Remember that a know-it-all and close-minded attitude do

not help in resolving conflicts in relationships. You’d be
surprised how the words, “I’m sorry I was wrong,” can
quickly end an argument.

When thinking about disputes in a relationship, it is

crucial to identify whether a problem is solvable or
unsolvable. Research shows that most relationship
conflicts are unsolvable, which makes you wonder why
certain fights have to happen in the first place.

All couples have conflict. These problems are based on the

fundamental differences that two people face. Differences
between men and women. Or men to men and women to
women if you swing that way.

Two people can have fundamentally different personalities

that perpetually create conflict.
Two people can also have fundamental differences in their
lifestyle.

Thorough research has shown that sometimes it’s not the

solving of a problem that’s important in a fight, it’s the
creation of dialogue. The absence of a dialogue creates a
gridlock in a relationship and eventually leads to
emotional stagnation.

Some examples of solvable problems are division of

house chores, the upbringing of children, intimacy, sex,
and in-laws.

Unsolvable problems have something to do with your

personalities. The cards you were dealt with since the day
you were born. Factors like your gender, culture, and
upbringing are things that are almost impossible to
change. This causes a lot of the irreconcilable differences
between two people.

Taking your soul to a whole new level builds up your

emotional intelligence and develops your skills to manage
conflicts.
 Chapter 11
Reasons for These Issues Can’t Be Fixed
Why Rich People Easily Have Relationship
Problems

You have a choice. You can either focus on what’s tearing

you apart or what’s holding you together.
-Anonymous

You might be shaking your head right now, but it’s true,
rich people do have problems. Some of them are lazy kids,
needy friends, and lawsuit threats. Yes, the rich face these
problems day to day. Their kids grow up to be spoiled and
continuation of the success of the business seems
unlikely.

Money messes rich kid’s up. It gives them a sense of

entitlement and prevents them from developing a sense of
empathy and compassion. That’s why it’s difficult for a
rich person to have a healthy relationship. Their
arrogance seems to get in their heads and they think that
they’re too good for a person.

Rich people’s children are notorious for being spoiled and

dependent. When their parents die, they find it hard to
earn money for themselves because they’ve never worked
a day in their life.

However, it’s not always the case as some rich kids learn
to adapt money-generating skills like trading in the stock
market.

Another problem rich people have is worrying about

being kidnapped.

Rich parents always worry about the safety of their

children.

Cases like the abduction of software tycoon Eugene

Kaspersky’s son grow this fear among wealthy parents all
over the world.

Wealthy children can’t just post vacation picks so easily as

criminals can use these as leverage to kidnap them.

Aside from these, rich people are also always on their toes
of lawsuits. When you have money, you’re bound to be a
target of lawsuits. Now and then somebody jumps on you
and files a case towards you.

Do you know why billionaires are rarely featured in the

Forbes richest list? It’s because of the illegal ways they’re
earning money, but the elites know who the real rich ones
are. This is why they often hire personal bodyguards, go
to different VIP events, be nice to the press, and disprove
fake stories.

To add to this, rich people have to worry about appeasing

their needy friends. Having lots of money means having
people in your life who will treat you like a bank.

What borrowers don’t realize is that rich people achieve

their wealth through hard work and calculated moves.
Having money borrowed from them and most likely never
to be paid was never part of the equation. What’s
upsetting is that once the friend borrows money from you,
your relationship with that person starts to water down.
It’s true what they say that money and friendship are like
oil and water. They never mix.

Wealth becomes a family problem when one person has

significantly more money than the other. I’m talking
about millions of dollars in difference. The one with more
money has to deal with the strain and the guilt for
providing for the rest of the family. This puts a lot of
pressure on a family or person.
Sometimes it’s not only family members that ask for
money, but also strangers. Rich people have shared that
people and charities would message them on their social
media accounts like Instagram or Facebook asking for
money.

It takes a thick hide and a cold heart to become a

billionaire. For you to accumulate so much money in your
accounts, you have to ignore all those requests from
charities. Whenever the words income inequality are
brought to light, billionaires have to turn a blind eye to
that, because it’s true that the distribution of wealth is
not equal in the world because of these powerful people.

Rich people also wonder all the time if their friends are
their friends. People from well-off families find it difficult
to find true friends. What’s sad is the fact that they find it
even harder to find people who would stick by them when
they’re in a financial crisis.

Billionaires have a problem with finding friends because it

seems like everyone is just pretending around them.

Because of people’s attitude of pretense around rich

people, they often marry the wrong people. This is why
you would find many billionaires, CEOs, politicians, and
Hollywood celebrities divorcing and losing a considerable
amount of wealth to the other party.
Friends leave them in an instant when they no longer pay
for the drinks in the club or the meals in the restaurants.

Rich people also lose old friends fast. You just can’t be
friends with someone who makes one less zero than you.
You start to have different lifestyles.

Rich people would say that people knew very little of how
rich they were because it would change their relationship
completely.

Rich people also wonder if their wife loves them. There’s

always the thought that the wife just married the husband
because of the money and stability.

Women are unafraid to admit this. Some people like

brown hair. Some like green eyes. While some just want a
guy with a fat wallet.

Rich people always hire someone to manage their assets.

However, they find it hard to trust these people too. Once
there was a rich man with a lot of gold coins under his
bed. One day he died, and his assistant remained in his
house, but the gold coins were gone.

Managing lots of money is not an easy task. Some

billionaires may not be informed enough because of their
age or access to information. Billionaires have to think
about reducing their taxes, diversifying their wealth,
looking for secure offshores, etc. Not knowing how to
handle money can lead to financial ruin, just like what
happened to with Nathaniel Rothschild, British banking
millionaire, who lost over 90% of his wealth in a year. His
net worth went from $1 billion to $100 million because of
bad business ventures.

Rich people also worry about everything that involves the

economy. They worry about estate prices, federal reserve
and interest rates, global currencies, and stock
fluctuations. These are all connected to the wealth they’re
wielding.

The billionaires have a lot of money, and wherever money

is involved, there are a lot of rivals and people ready to
get a portion from you. Every billionaire has to deal with
competition.

Billionaires have to worry about small, more agile

businesses who can take away their hold of their market.
They also secretly feel threatened with small organized
crime groups, because these criminals can ruin their good
image with just one banking heist or cyber-attack.

In the US, people fight for security online, because new

money is virtual money. Everything is transacted online,
making paper money less and less relevant today.
Businesses are threatened by hackers who would
otherwise be powerless without their computers.

Every day we would see businesses going down and

losing value when a hacker or a group of hackers would
shut down their online platforms, thus losing customer
and investor trust.

The higher your ranking in the business world, the more

rivals you gain.
 Chapter 12
The Reasons Why the Rich Always Change
Partners Can’t Be Fixed

Divorce isn’t such a tragedy. A tragedy is staying in an

unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong
things about love.
-Jennifer Weiner

The truth is, you cannot control your partner’s urge to

cheat on you. Why? Because it is our human nature to
want to have sex.

If your wife sleeps with another man, you cannot do

anything about it.

However, it is wrong to say humans cannot say no to

someone who is offering sex to you.
It all depends on your power to control your desire.

You must learn to use that sexual energy into something

else and not cheating on your partner.

To cheat on your partner while in wedlock is bad in many

ways.

Some people simply don’t care about morality anymore.

Especially when they are past a certain age. Their mental
and physical health is diminishing every year so it’s
normal to appease their low self-esteem with a morale
booster in the form of another lover.

Cheating can also be a form of revenge by the partner.

Whenever one party feels neglected, betrayed, unloved, or
bored, he or she cheats.

Another reason is that sex feels good. Especially when

you haven’t had any for years. Doing it with someone
other than your partner can be extremely satisfying.

However, it’s important to note that sexual addiction is a

real mental disorder. This is when someone doesn’t have a
concept of morality anymore and just has sex with
anyone or anything.

When it comes to cheating, men and women can have

very different reasons.
Women want to feel intimate with someone. They want to
feel connected to someone. When they don’t feel that
connection to their husband anymore, they look for it in
other people.

Women often cheat in less severe forms than men. For

women, even talking to someone in a deep, emotional
level is already considered cheating for them.

Most of the time, the new man in a woman’s life is a great

talker. He makes her feel like a woman again. Someone
who is loved and respected.

Men may cheat for money, status, or just for the sex of it,
but women cheat because of an emotional void in their
heart. To housewives, life can be very boring. To working
women, life can be very stressful. It helps to put a little
excitement in life by cheating.

For husbands and wives, there is no single factor that

drove them to commit adultery, but regardless of the
reasons, they could have said no.

One thing is for certain though, at some point in the

relationship, somebody’s needs were not met within the
relationship.
It’s easy to say to a couple to communicate what the other
needs, but in reality, a marriage that’s past the honeymoon
phase is often cold and devoid of communication. It’s rare
for a couple to express what they need financially,
sexually, and intellectually, that’s why most spouses end
up cheating on their significant other.

There is no end to the desires of the human heart.

Husbands who cheat often think there’s a better version

of their wife somewhere out there, but whenever a man is
past a certain period in marriage, all sexual advancements
are arousing to him. Humans get easily bored when they
experience the same things over and over again. No
person eats the same meal every day for a week. He’s
bound to mix things up. The same goes for clothes,
traveling, jobs, and even wives. This is not to encourage
cheating. It is simply a fact of life. Marriage then soon
becomes a test of man’s ability to withstand boredom.

However, if you take proactive steps to combat this

boredom, you may find a silver lining in your marriage.
Do something you always wanted to do, but never have.

Show your partner your fun side. Take her along in your
adventure. An example would be trying an exotic
restaurant. Another example would be to go to the zoo or
an amusement park. You could also take her to a cruise in
the Caribbean.
 Chapter 13
Counseling or Therapy Can’t Fix
Relationship Problems

The best kind of therapy is beach therapy.

-Anonymous

Some marriage problems can be solved. For example, if

you’re not spending enough time with your kids, you
simply clear out your schedule or if you’re spending too
much time in your cellphone, simply turn off your
cellphone. However, some marital problems just can’t be
fixed no matter how much therapy you avail of. Below are
reasons why.

1. Contempt

Contempt is the feeling that someone is beneath your

level. This is a dangerous viewpoint that some people
practice towards their partners and it can be as insidious
as it is morally wrong. A result of harboring contempt
towards your partner are tendencies to insult, abuse, or
manipulate the other.

2. An argumentative personality

It’s hard to erase something that is so ingrained in your

system. A personality is like a tiger’s stripes, no matter
how much you try, you can never erase it.

Sometimes a person goes into a marriage not knowing the

true personality of a person. Husbands are often left in
disbelief after the honeymoon phase of their marriage is
over that the wife has one of the most contemptuous
personalities he has witnessed in a person.

Disputes are often never settled because personality gets

in the way. Nobody wants to forgive the other person and
both refuse to discuss the issue. This hinders the wheels
of the household economy from turning. It also puts the
psychological wellness of the children vulnerable. They
may even blame themselves for your fights.

3. A sex addiction

When your partner is a serial cheater, life is hard. Some

wives turn a blind eye to cheating for the sake of their
children and the sake of the family. However, some
women would raise hell when their husbands are with
another woman.

When it comes to cheating and becoming emotionally

attached to another person, someone is bound to be hurt.

4. Your partner is secretive

While your partner is not entitled to knowing everything

you do, keeping secrets can eat up your marriage like a
parasite from within.

5. You have different levels of sexual desires

While having different sexual desires is more of the norm

than the exception, it still doesn’t make it any less sad
that one person in the relationship is not getting what
they want on the sexual level.

7. Your partner is a narcissist

A narcissistic partner can never truly love anyone but

himself or herself. This makes for a marriage composed
of two different people and not one unit. She only cares
about making herself happy and making herself look
good to other people. It’s rare for a narcissist to have
another person in their mind.

8. You don’t communicate

Somebody has to bend down and learn to communicate
their feelings towards the other. If you don’t express your
needs, you’ll end up feeling anxious or disappointed in the
relationship. Normally in these situations, a therapist is
needed. However, therapists have their limitations.

Therapists can’t fix the relationship between two people.

Therapists can serve as an outlet for your frustrations, but
the only real remedy to fix your relationship between you
and your partner is within you.

Counseling and other psychological therapies can do more

harm than good if they are of poor quality or the wrong
type.

Talking therapies are often beneficial to people in distress,

but sometimes it can go wrong and can leave vulnerable
people more depressed before the session.

Anything that has power to transform your life for the

better can also change it for the worse. Especially when
it’s done incorrectly.

Because of this likelihood, the awareness of safe therapy

is widely promoted. There have been numerous reports of
abusive behavior among therapists who undermine the
trust of their clients. Many therapists are the reason why
certain clients become the talk of the town the next day.
Therapists have their issues as well. Most therapists have
worse lives than you probably. Other therapists are just
plain perverts. They can misbehave sometimes. Other
therapists are just plain unskilled. One client came out of
therapy without any skills to deal with the emotions that
surfaced during therapy. This made the client ill-equipped
to deal with the problem in the real world and nothing
changed inside her.

Life can throw a bunch of curve balls at you. How you

handle life’s difficulties is key to your mental health and
quality of life. How your therapist helps you handle these
is even bigger because poor therapy can result in keeping
you down in the dumps and losing your will to live.

There is nothing more depressing than witnessing the

effects of poor therapy on someone. Even after all the
talks, a person can still come out as ill-equipped to handle
real challenges in life.

The worst case scenario for clients who avail of therapy

is being under a therapist who keeps their clients
distressed so they can keep coming back.

While there's been some searching on the detrimental

effects of poor therapy, it's difficult to measure the actual
numbers of people who have suffered at the hands of a
toxic psychotherapist.
The following are some of the signs of good therapy
with a discussion of the red flag situations that you
should avoid. If you are experiencing these red flag
experiences with your therapist or counselor, don't be
afraid to speak your mind and look somewhere else.

Voicing your concern and seeking better therapeutic help

is a sign of a sound mind.

Psychotherapy should make your life during or after your

treatment better, not worse.

Do you find yourself anticipating all week to get back to

your therapy session? Does it feel like life is on pause until
you can get back and discuss more situations and
problems? While it is great to have someone process your
issues and pains with you, they should not be the center
of your life.

It shouldn't feel like you're a drug junkie waiting for your

next hit. Instead, you should begin to see measurable
improvement in your life.

You should begin to feel more strong and empowered,

more confident to handle distressing situations. A good
therapist or counselor helps you find where you’re good
at. They feed your strength and focus on your abilities
that will help you overcome hardships.
If a therapist or counselor is constantly picking at your
emotional wounds and leading you to a rabbit hole of
eternal analysis, there is danger. You can be suffering re-
traumatization. If so, get out and seek a new therapist.

Psychotherapy should improve your social interactions

and relationships.

Have you begun to cut off your friends and relationships

to the point where your therapist or counselor is your
only companion and secret keeper in life? If so, then
you’re in deep trouble.

It can be normal to have a complete shift in relationships

over the course of your therapy sessions.

If your therapist is keeping you from having a social life

outside your sessions, then something is wrong.

While it's typical for certain friendships to fadenew,

there's a serious issue if all of your relationships have
ended and your therapist or counselor is the only one
fulfilling relationship needs in your life.

Having a healthy social group in our lives is one of the

main components for living a healthier and longer life, so
a good therapist or counselor helps you nurture this
critical part of your life.
Psychotherapy should stabilize your finances and not
burn your money.

Are you saving up just because you want to see your

therapist or counselor? Quality therapy sessions should
not break your bank account. In fact, healthy therapy is
about helping you make more sound decisions in your life,
and this manifests in better financial choices. It is not
right for your therapist or counselor to take your last
dollar. Instead, your therapist or counselor should be
working with you on a fixed fee or referring you to
another clinic that offers a more if you a more affordable
rate if you are in a financial crisis.

Here are some things to watch out for to assure you’re not
a victim of bad psychotherapy.

1. Psychotherapy should focus on the positive.

One of the hallmarks of strength and intelligence is to

see the world with the glass half full. There are numerous
studies that support this and why counseling or therapy is
effective because it helps adjust unhealthy perspectives of
seeing the world. These viewpoints range from parental
and societal prejudices to irrational fears.

If a therapist or counselor reinforces negative beliefs and

negative ways of processing information, you’re doing the
opposite of healing. You could even feel worse off than
before you came in.

That’s why it’s important to observe how the therapist or

counselor handles what you tell them. If they constantly
tell you all about the negatives without saying positive
points, it’s best to find another therapist.

2. A good therapist makes laughter a part of the healing

process.

Laughter is still the best medicine. Your counselor or

therapist should be able to laugh with you and help you
laugh at yourself and your problems. Nonstop seriousness
is unhealthy and unbalanced. Humor is one of the biggest
indicators of resilience and the ability to stand back up
from trauma. While it’s true that you will have serious
moments and bouts of crying and heartache, humor and
laughing are just as important too. It might help you
more to find another therapist if you feel like your
sessions are too rigid and tense and don't allow for
laughter.

3. Psychotherapy should not feel like you’re married to

your therapist.

If you’ve been seeing your therapist or counselor longer

than you’re staying in your home or working in your job
or being with your partner, it’s best to check yourself.
There have been cases of people seeing their therapist or
counselor once a week for twenty years. These are
controversial cases that show how long-term therapy can
be dangerous. It creates a dependent relationship that
robs the client of his or her freedom. Check if your
therapist is abusing his or her power.

4. A good therapist should respect your boundaries.

Therapists should never have romantic relations with

their clients. Dual relationships are also prohibited. That
means your therapist cannot be your yoga teacher and
your therapist at the same time.

That’s just taking advantage of your professional

relationship.

The point is to pay attention to your instincts and your

intuition. If something inside you feels that something is
fishy about a person, you must avoid making the same
mistake twice. Don’t let a therapist bully or manipulate
you. Just as in any profession, there are therapists who
have higher skills and lower skills than others. Some are
better in certain fields, and some are simply not the right
fit for you.

Sometimes therapists have your best interests in their

heart, but sometimes they don’t.
These are the limitations of therapists.
 Chapter 14
The Reasons Why Some Couples Have
Relationship Problems When Becoming
Parents

Let’s raise children who won’t have to recover from their

childhoods.
-Pam Leo

1. Many parents have low self-esteem and see their

children in a negative way too

If parents cannot love themselves, or see themselves

negatively, they see their children the same way too. They
cannot give love and tenderness to them.

It is known that people who do not like themselves cannot

genuinely like other people. They are more likely to see
other people negatively. That’s why it’s dangerous for a
person who doesn’t like themselves to function in a world
where the rule is to love yourself.

2. Immature parents see their children as unwanted,

intimidating, and dependent burdens

They find it threatening to their security to bear the

responsibility to care for a child, and they soon despise
their offspring. This shows in the way they talk about
them behind their backs or insult them to their face.
Words like, “You will never be good enough,” or “You still
have a long way to go to achieve what I did when I was
your age,” are commonly heard from immature parents.

3. Many parents are not used to receiving love

Many parents never experienced expressions of love from

their parents, that’s why when their child expresses it to
them, they shy away and see it as strange behavior.
Unconsciously, they begin to distance themselves from
their children, and a wall is formed between their
relationship.

4. Many parents have unresolved trauma

When parents who have experienced traumatic

experiences in their childhood have children, they are
often reminded of their pain. That’s why they often
punish their children for enjoying the privileges of being
spared of such a traumatic experience.

5. Children remind parents that time is passing, and death

is near

This is when parents turn to destructive behavior like

cheating, alcohol addiction, or substance abuse. They may
even punish their children for depriving them of a fuller
life.

6. Parents are often disappointed their children don’t

become achievers

Some parents do everything in their power for their child

to win. When their children fall short of this, the parents
become hateful towards their child. Some examples of
this would be, you being an Olympic gold medalist and
your child is not an athlete. You being a business CEO
and your child is an artist. You being a Republican and
your child is a Democrat.

7. Their children grow up to become spoiled and entitled

Some children, especially those coming from society’s

elites, grow up to be spoiled and entitled when they grow
up. When parents discover their child is a bad person,
they start to harbor some feelings of resentment. This is
not to say that they hate their child, but that they are
worried that their bad attitude will lead their children to a
tragic ending.

A parents’ unconditional love for their child can prove to

be inconsistent over time. At certain stages in our lives,
one or both of our parents would always be against
something we do or believe.
 Chapter 15
The Reasons Why Some Couples Have
Relationship Problems When They Have No
Children

If I have no children, what would be the point of living?

-Sheena Easton

According to research, couples with no children divorce

more often than couples who have at least one child. This
is despite the research that happiness in marriage drops
after having children.

This is because a home without a child leads to loneliness

and weariness. This is despite the opinions of parents that
being without their kids would make them very happy.
The question is if parents are so happy without their
children, why do couples with no children end up in
divorce?

While it is quick to assume that children are the glue that

binds families together, that may not be entirely true all
the time.

Here are some facts. It’s harder to process a divorce case

legally and financially if a couple has kids. Without
children, all you have to fight for are the assets. There are
no custody issues, no family court, and no parental
alienation syndrome to worry about.

In Virginia, married couples who file for divorce have to

meet higher standards than childless couples. Couples
with children have to wait for about a year to get a
divorce, while childless couples only have to wait for
about six months.

Some women have such a difficult time getting pregnant

from their husbands. Even after hundreds of attempts,
some women just can’t get pregnant. It’s at this point that
a wife feels like a failure. It’s also at this point where the
husband would say that sex isn’t fun anymore. That it’s
starting to feel like they’re just sperm banks.
Couples who undergo treatment for infertility are up to
three times more likely to end in divorce if they don’t
produce a child.

When treatment does not result in a baby, it has a toxic

effect on a relationship and is very likely to lead to
divorce.

When couples go to fertility treatment, they are dying to

have a baby. When they learn that it’s next to impossible
to produce a baby, there is a risk of the couple separating.

Because of the crashing down of such high expectations,

a couple may not survive the fall of an unfulfilled wish.

Childless marriages are defined as having no children due

to biological problems, waiting too long to have a child, a
reproductive illness, unsuccessful fertility treatments, not
finding a suitable partner, or not having enough money to
raise a child.
 Chapter 16
Family Influence On Relationship Patterns

Children learn from what you are than what you teach.
-W.E.B. DuBois

Stephen Whitehead, a writer, and professor of gender

studies, has had five marriages since he was 21 and says
that family has had zero influence in his decisions.

Heidi Rangel Knoderer, a student of art history in Paris,

says even if the family does not say an opinion of your
choice of partner, the influence is still very high.
Everything about your marriage has been influenced by
your family one way or another. From your choice of
spouse, her physical characteristics, your family values,
cultural patterns, religious patterns, and sexual activity.

Heidi is right. Your relationships are likely a result of the

way you experienced your childhood with your parents.
For example, your mom might have been authoritative. As
a result, you tend to seek out women who are
authoritative as well. If you end up with a wife who has a
tender heart, you might subconsciously want to toughen
her up.

When you’re used to being the problem-solver when you

were a child, you might seek out partners who have
problems that you can fix because it makes you feel good
about yourself.

If your parents were comfortable with public display of

affection, there’s a good chance you would too.

Intimacy would be no problem for you if your parents

showed they loved each other through touching,
exchanging sweet words, kissing, and hugging.

If your parents did not express their love, there’s a good

chance you would feel weird when someone shows you
affection.

If you had a tiger mom and a strict dad, you probably

would become one too.

But if only one were, it’s when things become

complicated. If you identified more with your mom,
there’s a big chance you’re going to become like her. If
you identified with your dad, there’s also a big chance you
would become like him.

Say, your mom likes to nag your dad. If you were closer to
your mom than your dad, you would probably pick up that
behavior in your marriage as well.

The family is the number one influence on a person’s

behavior. Parents shape the behavior and beliefs of their
kids through expectations and pressure.

Whenever you spend time with your parents, these are the
times they can influence you. Whether it’s a phone call, a
dinner together, or just being in the same room. The more
we interact with someone, the higher the chance of being
influenced by that person.

When a child’s personality is in-sync to the people around

him, he can be influenced easily. However, when his
personality is different from the people surrounding him,
he can become closed off and put up walls to
communication.

There is no telling how much parents affect their

children’s behavior. Children are like sponges to a parent’s
behavior. Even antisocial children learn the behavior of
their parents.
A parent’s response to stress influences the way a child
reacts to stress. If a parent doesn’t know how to handle
stress properly, a child will not learn to handle stress well
in the future. Also, violent reactions to stress, such as
shouting and throwing a tantrum, can reinforce bad
behaviors to a child.

It is this way that children learn to shut themselves down.

Whenever parents fight, there is a high chance that
children will blame the fight on themselves. If stress is
handled well, it helps children work with stressful
situations in the future, even when their emotional
balance is compromised.

The way a parent raises their children greatly affects their

behavior. When a parent uses physical punishment, such
as spanking and beating, it only passes down the abusive
behavior to the child.
If an argument is handled properly, a child can benefit
from seeing how conflicts can be resolved.

Children blame themselves for their parents’ fights for

years. No therapist can remove the trauma that was
caused by two parents in rage.

Children of abusive families develop low self-esteems and

may turn to violent behavior when confronted with
stressful situations. It’s common sense that dysfunctional
families produce dysfunctional children. Children often
repeat bad behavior in their future relationships.

Child abuse can also cause a range of antisocial and

destructive behaviors. This is because abused children can
never wrap their heads around why their parents would
abuse them. Parents who abuse their children cause their
children to be aggressive, violent, resistant to learning,
and susceptible to drug and alcohol abuse.

However, parents can also shape their children for the

better. Children can learn how to listen to other people
and speak up for themselves when their dignity is stepped
on because of their parents.

Whether we like it or not, our choice of partner is greatly

influenced by our parents.

Perhaps your mother was a career woman. Because of

this, you tend to seek out a wife who has a job.

Perhaps your mother was a homemaker. Because of this,

you tend to pattern your life so that you can one day have
a wife who only stays at home.

Or perhaps your mother was an absentee mother. Because

of this, your subconscious tends to lean towards women
who are unstable.
In a sense, you are in a relationship with someone who
resembles your mother in more ways than one.

If your parents’ marriage is like a fairy tale, you may look

for that in your marriage as well.

However, if you’ve had a bad relationship with your

parents, you may also find it hard to maintain good
relations with your partner.

Studies show that people who lived with alcoholic parents

tend to date people who have drinking problems as well.

You may have thought to yourself that things would be

different with your relationship because of what you
learned from your parents, but it’s only a matter of time
until you find yourself in the same predicament as your
parents did. That’s the way the subconscious works.
 Chapter 17
Social Influence On Relationship Pattern

Your friends may influence your decisions even more than

your parents will.
-Robert Cheeke

They say we are the composite of our three closest

friends.

If you have carefree friends, we tend to be carefree as

well. If we have workaholic friends, we tend to be a
workaholic as well.

But how deep is society’s influence on us?

Since the beginning of time, society has played an

important role in shaping a person's character. It helps
shape children's ability to co-exist with other people, their
sense of morality, and their outlook on life. Parents have
the strongest influence in a person's life. Understanding
how society influences you and your family can help you
gain a better understanding of who they are and why
they do what they do.

1. The Influence of Parents

Parents spend a lot of time with children and influence

them through their words and actions. Teenagers learn
skills such as socializing, nurturing, and making decisions
through observation and interaction with parents.

The relationship between children and parents determines

most outcomes in their life. When a parent nurtures and
cares for their child in all the right ways, they are more
likely to prevent behavior such as drug abuse, alcohol
addiction, or teenage pregnancy.

Although teenagers may seem rebellious at first, they are

likely to adapt the positive behaviors of their parents as
they mature and become older.

2. The Influence of Media

The media can have a positive or a negative influence on

children. Young people spend a majority of their time
online, watching Netflix, listening to music, and reading
online content.
Some of the behaviors they may pick up are violence,
prejudice, vulgar language, sex expectations, religious
ideologies, perspectives on gender, culture, success, and
ideal body types.

Alternatively, the media is also a source of information for

everyone. It creates awareness on today's hot issues. It is
through the media that children pick up their ideologies.

3. The Influence of Friends

Friends create a space for a child to influence the decisions

they make in life.

Friends can help you reach success, or they can hinder you
from success.

Friends can challenge each other to become better

individuals, or they can influence each other to perpetuate
the negative behavior.

In your early days, you may not be aware of it, but your
friends have had a significant effect on your performance
in academics, sports, and social situations.

4. The Influence of Community

The community makes the rules that shape your

perceptions of right and wrong.
This is to avoid tragic endings like suicide and
imprisonment.

It also helps in forming what advocacies a person should

support. Whether it's environmental awareness, fighting
poverty, fighting addiction, prisoner rehabilitation,
fighting sexually transmitted diseases, or supporting
disabled and special children.

5. The Influence of Culture

Every day there are battles in our head about our personal
choices and the rules of society. When this happens, there
is conflict. There are many types of conflicts between
ourselves and society that influence our behavior. Below
are some examples.

Structural conflict – These are conflict brought about by

gender, tribe, race, and class differences.

Between different people, a general feeling of mistrust

causes the conflict brewing inside of us. This is why
violence sometimes happens between two different people.

Inbuilt conflict – Something deeply ingrained in our

minds tell us that if you're different, you either have to
change or leave.
Some people have adapted a diversity mindset, but others
remain closed-minded.

Every small difference can annoy us. This affects our

choices greatly. Who we associate with, who we hire, who
we let in our inner circle, who we consult, and who we
love.

Gender differences – Conflict can arise by the gender

prejudices. For example, you may have grown to believe
that all men cheat which caused your dislike for men. You
may have also grown to believe that all women are
unhelpful. This is not always the case as most men rely on
women in many ways.

Ethnic and racial differences – When you marry a person

from another community, it is common for other people to
identify him or her by where she was raised. “He married
a Chinese” Or “He married an American.”

Economic differences – You may have grown to steer

clear of women who are gold diggers. This influences you
in your choice of friends and choice of spouse.

The take away here is to remember that culture never

stops changing. As culture changes, so do the nature of
human relationships.
 Chapter 21
If The Doctor, Coach, Counselor, Theorist,
Healer, Master, Etc., Holds Fear Inside, How
Can They Take You to The Highest
Possibility of Freedom?

Freedom is the oxygen of the soul.

-Moshe Dayan

While all of us have fear, some people let fear

control them.

A concert pianist has fear. But the difference between

a seasoned concert pianist and a fearful person is that
the concert pianist has had many huge performances
that gave them the tools to handle fear in their life,
making them stronger.
A great teacher who has mastered fear is aware of
the presence of fear in their life. Fear follows them
around like a shadow, but they have never let that
fear control them, instead they control that fear,
making them more powerful than their competition.

Some of the most successful people in the world eat

death threats for breakfast and yet they continue to
function at optimum levels every day.

A great teacher can stare down other fearless people

in the eye. They know how to act in a situation by
considering different possibilities and outcomes in a
split second.

A great teacher is objective with their fears. They

know how to dissect their fears. The thoughts that
generate the fear, where the fear lies, and how to
react to the fear in the best possible way.

Even successful people like Bill Gates, Henry Ford,

Colonel Sanders, Elon Musk, and Richard Branson
have been confronted with fears in their lives, but the
difference is, they defeated their fears.
A great teacher is grateful for their fears and are
grateful for the opportunity to be a better person.

A great teacher seeks out other teachers who make

them stronger, and not those who want to feel warm
and soft. A person who can give you clear directions
on how you can be a better person is an asset to your
development.

A great teacher determines what your real fear is.

A great teacher can help you determine what you

want out of life and work towards achieving your
goals. A real teacher doesn’t avoid struggle but
welcomes it instead. They believe that struggle is
equal to positive development. A real teacher is
always learning of ways to approach problems in
new ways.

A great teacher visualizes the situation of which he

or she will face that fear. Attacking it head on,
ultimately conquering it and becoming an upgraded
version of you.

A great teacher has experienced the most

devastating of circumstances life has thrown at
them. Whether it’s the death of a loved one, the end
of multiple marriages, the aftermaths of abuse, the
recovery from natural disaster, financial crises,
bankruptcy, and many more problems.

Having someone who has walked the way and

experienced the pains of life truly helps.
 Chapter 22
Dig Deep Within

If you set your goals ridiculously high, you will fail

above everyone else’s success.
-James Cameron

There are many different factors you need to

consider as CEO, decision-maker, or director of your
company.

The key to consistent high-performance is hard

work multiplied by instant recovery.

As most CEOs know, hard work is the easier task.

The real challenge is how you slow down and
recover, as well as, how to respond accordingly to the
message you receive as it comes at the moment.

Many CEOs book vacations to unwind and recharge,

yet their body and mind will not stop wandering to
their work responsibilities. This may lead to chronic
damage and may slowly kill us if we don’t do
something about it.

It doesn’t matter when and where you take the

vacation. This will not reverse our toxic mindset.
This is also the reason why we would just be
surprised to find out that someone who had a clear
medical record and enjoyed a healthy lifestyle would
suddenly disappear.

It doesn’t mean that if we followed a healthy diet

and a healthy workout routine that we can provide
an authentic positive meaning in our lives with
consistency. Many CEOs have a routine of doing
workouts, running, doing yoga, spending time in the
gym, but these do not matter.

It is evident that physical strength does not

necessarily contribute to the prevention of a tragic
ending to our life. When we don’t face our problems
head on, something inside our body eats us up. This
may take the form of chronic stress, which in turn
might have been caused by a relationship with a
person, partner, or child, if not, it will be the cause
of these possibilities.

The secrets we keep inside act as poison in our

system, and you may feel like you cannot dare share
them with anyone. When the stress accumulates,
CEOs, politicians, and other people who hold high
positions would decide to quit and would sacrifice
their career to a so-called “less” stressful job, without
knowing there is an alternative in handling these
challenges.

Remember this: wandering thoughts are only natural

to human beings. If your thoughts do not wander,
you are dead. The only way to cope with wandering
thoughts is to master in balancing our whole self—
our brain, our nerves, and even how our blood
operates.

Coaching might be one of the best options CEOs

might want to choose. It can be a good option if we
have enough financial resources and have sufficient
time to spare to engage with different coaches. The
marketplace is bigger and has a lot of variety.

Sometimes it can be very embarrassing for us to

share our privacy when we go to a counselor,
psychologist, psychiatrist, or any other type of
support. Sharing all these experiences and stories
can be very time-consuming and can be ineffective in
bringing lasting change. This is the reason why so
many CEOs worldwide have high achievements but
also carry significant chronic symptoms which
manifest into different interests, characters, or
unique habits.

Religious belief can help now and then. However, we

can hardly really believe in something which we are
not sure is true or not. These kinds of doubts and
suspicion can slow us down or even doesn’t provide
sound solutions for what we want.

Furthermore, there is no insurance in any techniques

that rely on external resources. Luckily we can count
on our power within for a 100% guaranteed result.

Some CEOs chose to be part of spiritual practices in

the course of their lifestyle, but many blind spots
and confusions would make it hard to identify with a
religious group and to make it useful in our
commercial world, especially because we are time-
bounded.

If you have enough experiences in different options,

we can quickly identify gaps and conflicts among the
various techniques and different competitions in the
same industry. For example, different doctors have
different opinions, and different coaches have
different methods.

Which one works? Which one doesn’t work? How

long will it work? We don’t know.

The good news is there is one person we can rely on

100 percent. That is ourselves. All that you need to
survive in this life without a tragic ending can be
found if you can dig out the answers deep inside
yourself.

However, as we know, all knowledge is divided into

different fields and are given different names. Our
brain is trained to separate and isolate different
knowledge and experiences.
Without systematized training that integrates all
our knowledge into one, it would be hard to get what
you want, even if it is just within you. Being able to
remove the limitation of human thoughts, we open
ourselves up to freedom. Stress no matter what type
or form contribute significantly to unreasonable
tragedy, especially when we are near the top of our
career life.

Being able to remove the limitation of human

thoughts, we present ourselves from the real sense
of freedom. Human stress no matter what type or
form contribute significantly to the expected and
unreasonable tragedy in our lives, especially when we
are closer to the peak of our career.

The buried contributor for stress in a different shape

or form is the hidden fear within, worry, the sense of
insecurity inside of us. The majority of us carry this
in our lifetime until the end.

If we want to conquer ourselves, we have to

overcome our fear within. Once we can do it, and
master the tools, the rest will take care of
themselves. We will be able to make decisions
without unnecessary internal struggles. We will be
able to follow the message within. You will be able to
awaken the real successful CEO within.

The first thing we need to do is to find out how the

inside of our mind works. After that, we can practice
it, and play with it like a fun game. The more we
practice and master how the within works, we will
no longer feel helpless, even during our busy day up
until the moment we lie down on our beds to sleep.

It will trigger your immune system to the need you

want and to the level you want, and to the moment
you need it to be at its full capacity. Being careful of
the tendency of how your insides work and then pull
it back before hitting the margin of unrecoverable
damage and irreversible mistakes.

We need to take high respect to signals from our

internal system and care for the tiny movements our
body makes. Ultimately, we need to understand the
passionate whisper within. Our within is the only
one who would never betray you because it will
never leave you.

Given the permission to what our within wants can

allow the energy to flow where it should be. We
must top up and charge instantly even when we are
in an important business party or event, or when we
are walking, sitting, and talking. We just need to be
humble and accept how it will work. Stop ignoring
the needs of your inner voice.

Plant the message using our unique mind power and

control it. Take nutrition that fits what your body
needs, not what you desire. Bridging the gap and
conflict between the two is important. You must
learn how to accelerate the process and effort in self-
mastery of this unique technique to maximize the
possibility of avoiding a tragic ending. Pretty soon
you’ll be dancing with the music of life while
achieving high-performance in your work.
 Chapter 23
Dr. Angela Wilson Will Take You to an 8-
Level Journey Towards Freedom

Freedom is never given. It is won.

-A. Philip Randolph

In the journey, you will feel like being reborn eight

times.

During your membership period, you will be guided

practically and safely as you live your life of pure
freedom.

Going through the eight levels will help you realize

your real potential as a high-level leader.
All the human problems in the world point back to
stress. Tension. When you don’t have stress, that’s
when you feel most free.

Stress can lead a person to do many mistakes in

life—murder, incest, rape, suicide, and addictions.

I will teach you how to handle stress in all aspects of

your life. From the home to the workplace, from the
public park to the boardroom. Imagine yourself in
an open space. So free from anything that tethers
you.

The 8-level technique teaches you how to be reborn

again and again to face your struggles with a fresh
and clear mind, giving you the best possible solution.

Learn how to avoid the biggest mistakes of your

career.

Like many of you, I only want to stay away from

trouble, but if we are to do anything important in
this world, risk is always involved. The greater the
goal, the more fear you have to handle in your body.
It is my business to help you handle that fear inside
of you.
I will help you determine the many goals in your life.
Your lifetime goal, your 10-year goal, 5-year goal,
your 2-year goal, and your goal for this year.

The first level of the 8-level process is the power to

control your body. The second level is the power to
control your mind. The third level is how to monitor
the body and the mind together. With all the eight
levels within your brain, you can approach almost all
problems in life.
 Chapter 24
Be Courageous to Go Through Optimal
Transformation

Transformation means going beyond your form.

-Wayne Dyer

To be bold means to make changes in your mindset.

If you spend the time to truly look into the depths
of your mind, you will know the answers to your
problems.

A paradigm shift in thinking can happen in an

instant, and at that moment, all your cells will work
towards achieving your goal. All you have to do is
look inside.
Take time to go deep inside yourself. A brief period
of reflection and communication with a great
teacher can help you come up with the best possible
way to approach a problem.

Learn to activate your intuition.

I have risked my life several times testing different

solutions to come up with the formula to win in life.

The more you are trained, the easier your life can be.
 Chapter 25
Be Ready to Upgrade Yourself to A New
Version

You are only going to be as good as the people you

surround yourself with.
-Anonymous

People never stop growing. Life is just a constant

state of change. Even if you do something wrong,
it’s also a step closer to being a better version of
yourself. Time never goes backward. With the
passage of time, comes added life experience, which
no matter right or wrong, will make you a new
version of yourself day by day.
If you want to approach a problem from a different
angle, look deep inside yourself.

If you have any plans of conquering your fear, your

answer should fight it. Only then can you discover a
new version of yourself.

I will take you through a journey of 8 levels. From

level 1-5, you will learn how to handle your
strengths. You control how far you can go.

The training will take you through different levels in

your life. One day you may feel you are in level 2, the
other day you will feel like you are in level 5, then
you may fall back down to level 1 again, until you can
stabilize it.

This is the reason why the journey is like a

rollercoaster. You must repeat again and again until
you master it. Everyone has a different experience
with the 8 levels. After you pass the assessment of
stability, you will be ready for level 6-8. It will teach
you how to deal with unexpected and devastating
situations.
 Chapter 26
Be Ready to Be Who You Are

The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.

-Joseph Campbell

When we change our mindset, everything around us

changes. Each shift of mindset has a particular
consequence in your external world. Life then
becomes a game of cause and effect. Your thoughts
create your present reality. Remember, you control
your world.

The reality we see outside of us is a mirror of

what’s inside of us. To change what’s outside, we
must first change what’s inside. And it’s not to say
we’re going to stop changing one day, we will only
stop changing, and our environment will only stop
changing when we die.

Let’s be honest here, it is difficult to achieve a happy

life. At least, it is difficult to confidently anticipate,
face and deal with all kinds of situations that are
impossible to control when we are in pursuit of an
abundant and prosperous life.

All kinds of personal improvement and potential

development techniques make us very confused. We
want to learn the techniques but eventually give up
because it wastes so much time and energy, and we
can’t experience and identify those techniques. Many
blind-spots in life cannot be identified, anticipated,
and managed because of avoidance, which will force
the direction of our life to go out of the control due
to some unexpected changes.

Most certified professional teachers cannot maintain

the purity of their energy field in this materialistic
secular life, so naturally they don’t have the ability to
tackle different complex situations of different
students, let alone instruct them.
Many contributed so much time or money without
convincing results. There is still doubt deep inside.
This reluctant and conflicted attitude comes from the
fear of the mysterious power they control.

Religious practitioners and those who live in

reclusion will not reveal the core points and
principles of techniques that they know, and those
techniques are limited with certain religion, so the
energy field is also limited. They may even ask
students or believers to get rid of sexual thoughts,
which causes great conflicts with students’ lifestyle.
Therefore, it obviously cannot solve your practical
problems.
 Chapter 27
If You Do the Steps Above, Your Immune
System Will Be High Level and Stable

As you begin to heal the inner you, you begin to heal

yourself.
-Wayne Dyer

Are you ready to be the boss of your immune

system? Are you willing to heal yourself ?

If you focus, you can control your entire body. Each

cell is under your command. When you command
your cells, you control your body.

When you control yourself, you can handle massive

amounts of responsibility.
The Infinite Wisdom Experience outline involves
different kinds of theories, techniques and evidence
regarding physical, mind and spiritual health in our
life.

It involves the sources and factors that influence our

intimate relationships. It also teaches you to break
the barriers in difficult relationships.

It will teach you to reverse tragedies of parenthood

and how to prevent the situations that you don’t
want to happen in your family.

We will determine the necessary factors, training

methods, and precautions to achieve ultimate success.

The difference between this course to other courses

is I won’t hold back on secrets, principles, and
techniques. You can ask me any question and I will
clear out any confusion you have.

I will make practical training plans for your most

concerning problems on the spot.
Together we will plan the procedure of your life
while anticipating risks and making precautions.
There is no substitute for mastering the hologram
that can guide you through your life journey and
ensure that you can confidently deal with your
problems every day.

It is a worthy investment to be able to face any

unpredictable situations you can encounter in life.
Finally, you can take control of how you want to live
your life. You can confidently design your future and
be free from an exhausting life.

I will teach you a set of practical skills that connects

and combines many different techniques to allow you
to use what you have learned to completely manage
the rest of your time, energy, and money after the
course.

Do you know that many people spent 5 to 10 years

of their life and wasted more than $100,000 to find a
more convincing answer to only one question?

This course will teach you many different techniques

to save your life and allow you to reverse the
situation in time and avoid paying a lot to ask for
help from many teachers who can’t solve your
problems.
 Chapter 28
You Will Be Confident to Handle Any
Situation

Handle the situation before it handles you.

-Anonymous

Whether it’s a criminal trial, a mental illness,

conflicts with colleagues, conflicts with family
members, career problems, blind trust for your
religion, suspicious thoughts about your religion,
feeling of discrimination from other people, a plan to
commit a crime, a plan to murder someone or groups
of people, thoughts of divorcing your partner,
thoughts of infidelity, thoughts of quitting your job,
thoughts of giving up, thoughts of killing yourself,
unknown fear, and uncertainty, I can help you handle
all of these.

Once you equip yourself with the 8-level technique,

the universe will give you all the answers you need. I
will help you believe in yourself and you will achieve
your goal.

Dr. Angela Wilson PhD is waiting for you on the

other side for your enlightening journey.

If you want to make sure that the techniques that

you have learned can help you to endure the test of
time, space, and any extreme condition in any stage
of your life, then the teacher you are looking for
should be willing to risk his or her life to master
many difficult techniques. The teacher should also
have very sharp comprehension ability and be able to
connect and reflect other factors to achieve the
ability of deep understanding, flexible adaption and
teaching.

If you want to make sure that the techniques you

have learned are safe and reliable, then the teacher
should have the ability and be willing to make the
core secret of the techniques public. In the
meanwhile, the teacher should be able to abandon the
prejudice of religious belief and values, as well as
the subjective prejudice, so the purity level of his or
her energy can be guaranteed.

My journey of searching to be a higher-self began

from the time I was baptized when I was a
University student, and became a converted later in a
Buddhism temple. For a long period of practicing
with devotees from various relational resource. Then
I was intended to be a religious nun. But to a certain
point I chose to be a non-religious nun in a real
world and found infinite Wisdom Academy. I was
regarded as “a person able to take you to places that
others can’t. The journey is both fascinating and
enlightening.

In the past 15 years, I have been helping many

people from different background, regions,
professions and incomes to deal with the 9 main
problems in their lives. Among my clients, there are
comedians, entrepreneurs, corporate decision-
makers, and people from all kinds of professions.

I don’t simply help students through training

courses. As a comprehensive therapist with many
different techniques, I also offer a more effective and
convenient coaching service through one to one
personal therapeutic coaching to people who need it.
I know how to help you to maximize the effect
within time frame in a most effective way.

The three-day courses that I designed contains a

great deal of information and mutual communication
and interaction, which means you will have a
complete knowledge and comprehension of a happy
life after this course. You will know how to control
the well-being of your life and you will not be living
in a life full of unknown fears and dread. And you
will also know how to remain the achievements and
happiness of your life.

Testimonials from Clients

“Angela takes one to places that others can’t. The
journey is both fascinating and enlightening. She has
a gentle, caring manner. She has the skills to help
you through the most complicated situations. I am
happy to recommend her services to you, especially
if you have been searching for answers for a long
time.”
“Dr. Angela Wilson’s ability to take you deep is
unmatched by anyone in the helping profession that I
have encountered. The results for me were fast. She
goes straightly to the points. I have improved so
much. I strongly recommend her to anyone.”