Chapter 8: Magic To Make The Maddest Man Go Sane Part Ⅱ

Janeway Leaped Into Action. “Activate Quantum Torpedoes!!”

Squirrel Girl Activated Ludicrous Speed and Warped Straight Through
Voyager, splitting it in two.
“Warp Core Breach! Warp Core Breach!” Screamed Torres!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
A Transmission Came Onto The Voyager’s Bridge. “Captain!” Ensign
Useless said, who was currently at paris’s station, due to him being
dead. “We have a transmission! It appears that the following area is
a Gormagander reserve! Legally, we cannot pass through it, only go
around. Going around it would add approximately 5 years to our
journey.” The Captain Angrily sipped her coffee. “Let me consult my
daily personality wheel.”
She Reached Inside Her Pocket. “Strange. I Don’t have a daily
personality wheel.”
Tilly walked onto the bridge and shot Janeway in the face with a
phaser. “So, you escaped the cliffhanger by using the time loop
itself?” She threw the personality wheel across the bridge.
She smiled. “That’s uh. Not very sporting.”
Commander Tuvok Grabbed His Phaser And Realized it had been replaced
with a spikey lionfish.
“AHGGGGHHHGH!!” Said Tuvok.
“Precautions.” Smiled Tilly.
Kes walked onto the bridge.
Kes shot Tilly.
“One thing she can never rely on is my movements.” Kes responded,
walking onto the bridge. “I’m outside of the time loop. The only way
we can escape it is if I know how the time loop was created.”
“What time loop?” Chakotay asked, confused.
“The Season Cliffhanger.” Kes responded.
“I don’t remember a season cliffhanger? I don’t even think it’s a new
season!” Ensign Useless screeched.
“Ensign Useless, you're part of the main cast now, since paris is
dead.”
“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Screeched Ensign Useless. “YEEHAH!”
“You’ll forget this due to the time loop in 3 2 1..” Kes Began.
BWAAAAAAAAAAAaAAAAAAaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMaaMMMMmmM!
Voyager was fine.
A Transmission Came Onto The Voyager’s Bridge. “Captain!” Ensign
Useless said, who was currently at paris’s station, due to him being
dead. “We have a transmission! It appears that the following area is
a Gormagander reserve! Legally, we cannot pass through it, only go
around. Going around it would add approximately 5 years to our
journey.” The Captain Angrily sipped her coffee. “Let me consult my
daily personality wheel.”
“OH, WOULD YOU SHUT UP?!??!” Lorca said, walking onto the bridge. “I
have heard you say this drabble 517,000 times, and I HAVE COUNTED.
I am sick of this time loop!”
“I am still confused as to the existence of a time loop.” Tuvok
commented. “A time loop implies repetition, able to be sensed by
psychic individuals. I sense nothing.”
“That’s because We blocked you.” Said Tilly, walking in, holding up a
tablet with an internet search on telepathic abilities, and the
settings next to tuvok’s picture was off. “Strangely, this doesn’t
have an off setting for Kes.”
Janeway suddenly realized and pressed her combadge. “Janeway to Kes.
Activate Temporal Shields.”

“You know, we don’t have those until Seven of Nine figures things out
in the Year of Hell episode. Also, Seven of Nine isn’t in this series
yet.”

“But this is a TIME TRAVEL EPISODE! Also We Need Seven to Show up to

boost ratings!”

“But logically, we shouldn’t know about her yet! Her first episode
hasn’t even premiered! These Lost Episodes are set in between Basics
Part Ⅱ and Flashback! We still have the Doctor’s mobile emitter for
some reason, actually, so it would really have to be after Futures
End Part Ⅱ. I don’t get it either.”

“We’re Non-Canon!” Screeched Janeway. “We can do whatever we want!”

Tilly raised her hand, from impulse of her old school days. “Yes, uh,
but how can lorca and I be here with discovery being made in 2018*
and Voyager in 1995?”

*Tilly And Lorca Come From The Time Period Between Into The Forest I
Go, And Despite Yourself. They Warped Here, Do things, and are
returned to the Discovery afterwards.
“Chronology is a concept made up by idiots who wanted everything to
happen quickly because they were impatient.” Perked Up Lorca.

“But we’re like 117 years old in your timeline, and 23 years apart in
real life!” Tilly Complained.
“Quiet, Before We have to make a sequel to Raiders of The Plot Arc.”
Janeway Responded.

All was quiet.

Tuvok Smiled, Creepily.

“Quickly! Now Bring Seven of Nine Into The Series!!!” Janeway

screeched.

“We’ll have to jettison a member of the main cast, if we want to keep

Kes, which would be smart, considering we’re in a time loop.”
Chakotay Responded.

A Few Moments Later,

Ensign Kim Flew out of Voyager’s Airlock.
“AAaAAaaaAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! ” He screamed internally, because there is
no sound in space, and If you try to hold your breath your lungs
explode.

Seven of Nine spontaneously appeared on the bridge. “Activating

Temporal Shields.”

“OH F-” Said Tilly before she was shot by Chakotay.

Lorca Drew A Sword, and charged at Janeway. Kes, having had 517,000
days to practice, Grabbed The Sword Mid-Movement, and pulled it out
of his hands, HOLDING THE BLADE.

“Hi, I’m awesome.” Said Kes.

“Greetings, Awesome. I am Seven Of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct Of

Unimatrix 01.” Seven Of Nine said in Response.

“This could take a while.”

Chapter 9: The KIlling (Me Softly with Your Song )Game:

Tilly and Lorca were ejected into space. Unlike Harry Kim, They
Warranted A Space Suit. Tilly began muttering- “Hey! So, Uh, Captain.
You know, we’re in space. So Yeah. Not Much to do…
What are your hobbies?
I think you're a crochet kind of guy, myself. Me, Personally, I like
cooking. But uh, I’m bad at it. So, I uh, Personally, one of my, uh,
hobbies, is, oh I’m saying personally a lot, Uh...”

“Quiet, Cadet.” Lorca growled, narrowing his eyebrows at an all time

low ever found on a human being.

“Oh, Sorry, Sir. I know I talk a lot, you see, Because, yeah, I have
a lot of social anxiety, and because of that, you see, uh, haha-”

Lorca didn’t say anything. He only flexed his fingers, and even Tilly
got the general Idea to be quiet.
A few moments passed.

“Do you, uh, Want to Play a game?”

Lorca paused.
“What kind of a game, cadet?”
“Woah! Uh, I wasn’t expecting that? Uh, I Spy?”
“You know that my Eyes have a condition, cadet.”
“Oh.” Tilly felt very awkward.
“How about, uh, would you rather?”
Lorca began, confused. “Would you rather-”
“OH, YAY! WE’RE PLAYING A GAME TOGETHER!!!”
“Yes, Cadet.” Lorca was slowly regretting this.
“Ok, So, Would you Rather, Uh, Be Disemboweled By a Klingon Or have
to kill your closest friend.”
Lorca rolled his eyes. “I don’t really have friends, so this one is
rather easy.”
Tilly Cringed. “Ok, Then… It’s, uh, Your turn.” She smiled, clearly
enjoying herself.
Lorca taxed himself. He didn’t have much imagination. “Would you
rather Die, Or Die?”
“Woo, Not much, uh, breathing room, there…” Tilly stressed. “Uh,
Die?”
Lorca was slowly making progress.
“So, Uh, My Turn. Would you rather spend 20 years hooked up to the
spore drive, like having to be stabbed everytime we made a jump, or
uh, Be forced to interact with the person all your ideals go
against?”
Lorca’s eyes reflected little light. “I’m doing one right now.”
“Funny, I don’t see any stab wounds...oh…”
Lorca Decided to lighten the mood. “Would you rather have a cat or a
dog-”
“Oh, I’m uh, more a dog person.” Tilly interrupted. “You see-”
“-For Dinner.” Lorca Finished, to Tilly’s Horror.
“Are you sure you’re uh, actually captain lorca?”
“Yep.”
“Not some evil possessive alien? There are plenty of those on star
trek…”
“Timeline wise, you shouldn’t know about this until ​Vaulting
Ambition.​”

“Uh, Whaaat?” Tilly commented.

“Cadet, Be Quiet. We need to figure out how we can possibly beat
Janeway! We would have lost if we didn’t use a time loop, and if it
wasn’t for the time loop, we would have won!”
“Well, Luckily, we are still alive, and these space suits-”
The Computer Interface in the Space Suit took the moment to advertise
that tilly’s oxygen tank was at 4%.

“Alright, Cadet. Try Not To Hyperventilate.”

“AHHHHH- EASY FOR YOU TO SAY- AAAAAAAAAH​” Went Tilly, Breathing

Heavily.

“OHHHHH- #@(*&!” Screamed Lorca.

A Ship Flew Into Space Next to Them. It Used A Stereotypical Alien

Beam From the 1940’s, and tractored them into the ship’s cargo bay.

Chapter 10: Chain of Demand

Tilly And Lorca sat in the alien ship’s cargo bay.

5 People Walked In, Embraced In Shadows.
“Hey!” Tilly Grinned.
They Stepped Out of the Shadows.
Worf, Major Kira, Captain Archer, Squirrel Girl and Seska were
standing there. “Wanna join our evil cult?” Seska asked.

Meanwhile… Captain Janeway was Very Pleased that Seven had finally
arrived. Really, the only person who missed Paris and Kim was
B’Elanna. She was looking into giving B’Elanna Therapy Sessions.
There had to be something wrong with her. “Greetings.” Seven said,
Walking In. “My Appearance Makes No Logical Sense. I’m Supposed To
first Appear in Scorpion Part Ⅱ.”
Janeway gave one of her dry grins. “Get used to it. Somehow our
ratings have to Compete With DS9, Enterprise and Discovery.”
“Character Development is Essential, Then.” Seven Responded.
“I recommend we Start With Neelix, And Commander Chakotay. Their
Characters are still redeemable, if we have enough time.”
“But I talked to Him!” Janeway Moaned. “Chakotay thinks being Native
American makes you a three dimensional Character!”
“Blasphemy!” Screeched Seven of Nine. “Let us go speak to him!”
Seven ran in and punched commander Chakotay in the face.
“What???” growled Chakotay.
“Your Character is Being Developed. Resistance is Futile.”
“You are out of line!! Make another Mutinus move, and I throw you out
the airlock!”
“Yes, Sir.” She walked away with no comment.

Chapter 11: Raiders Of The Plot Arc Ⅱ: we told you about this 5 pages
ago.

Tuvok was in his bedroom. He heard strange music.

We're no strangers to love 
You know the rules and so do I 
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of 
You wouldn't get this from any other guy 

I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling 

Gotta make you understand 

Never gonna give you up 

Never gonna let you down 

Never gonna run around and desert you 

Never gonna make you cry 

Never gonna say goodbye 

Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you 

We've known each other for so long 

Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it 

Inside we both know what's been going on 

We know the game and we're gonna play it 

And if you ask me how I'm feeling 

Don't tell me you're too blind to see 

Never gonna give you up 

Never gonna let you down 

Never gonna run around and desert you 

Never gonna make you cry 

Never gonna say goodbye 

Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you 

Never gonna give you up 

Never gonna let you down 

Never gonna run around and desert you 

Never gonna make you cry 

Never gonna say goodbye 

Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you 

Never gonna give, never gonna give 

(Give you up) 

(Ooh) Never gonna give, never gonna give 

(Give you up) 

We've known each other for so long 

Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it 

Inside we both know what's been going on 

We know the game and we're gonna play it 

I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling 

Gotta make you understand 

Never gonna give you up 

Never gonna let you down 

Never gonna run around and desert you 

Never gonna make you cry 

Never gonna say goodbye 

Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you 

Never gonna give you up 

Never gonna let you down 

Never gonna run around and desert you 

Never gonna make you cry 

Never gonna say goodbye 

Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you 

Never gonna give you up 

Never gonna let you down 

Never gonna run around and desert you 

Never gonna make you cry 

“What.” said Tuvok.

ASIDE FROM FUTURE RAIDERS OF THE PLOT ARC EPISODES, THIS WILL NEVER BE
MENTIONED AGAIN.

Chapter 12: Elementary, Dear Agatha

Janeway fingered her coffee cup. “It’s been a while since we ran into
any anomalies. We have too many antagonists right now. Set a course
for the nearest Binary Pulsar. Maximum Warp.”
“Do You Mean Maximum Warp, Ludicrous Warp, or Turn into a Lizard
Warp?” Ensign Useless Asked.
“Ludicrous Warp.” Janeway responded.
Everything made a hollywood flash to white so they could save budget,
and…

“Where are we?” Captain Janeway, Seven of Nine, And Ensign Useless
were all wearing 1920s dress, in a small grassy wasteland next to a
quaint house. There was no road, and no seeming way to exit for miles
upon miles.
“Ah, The Perfect Anomaly.” Janeway commented. “1920s brand.”
She, not being unintelligent, attempted to walk away from the house,
but a strange force field redirected her. “Well, we Can’t Leave.”
Seven of Nine tapped her forearm. She then rubbed her forehead.
“My Borg Implants are gone, captain! By all right, I should be dead!
Yet I am Still Here. Logic seems to have ceased to comply.” Seven
said, clearly worried, for a near emotionless borg drone.
“Fascinating,” said ensign useless.

A voice sounded out.

“I am the plot advertisment. Please read ​And then there were pun​ by
this author.”

“Oh!” said Captain Janeway who immediately appeared back on the

voyager bridge.
“Who caused the anomaly?”

“​Ph'nglui mglw'nafh ​Cthulhu​ R'lyeh wgah'nagl ​fhtagn​.” said Cthulhu.

“What?”
“I think Cthulhu caused the anomaly sir.”
“​Ph'nglui mglw'nafh ​Cthulhu​ R'lyeh wgah'nagl ​fhtagn​.” said Cthulhu.
“Well, the entire chapter was an advertisment for a different story
with different characters, then.” Janeway growled. “That’s cheap!”
“​Ph'nglui mglw'nafh ​Cthulhu​ R'lyeh wgah'nagl ​fhtagn​.” said Cthulhu.
“STOP IT!!!” Screamed Chakotay.
Cthulhu, filled with rage, disappeared.

Meanwhile, Tilly, Lorca, Kira, Archer, Worf, Squirrel Girl, and seska
were plotting against voyager.
Cthulhu warped into existence.
“​Ph'nglui mglw'nafh ​Cthulhu​ R'lyeh wgah'nagl ​fhtagn​.” said Cthulhu.
“Hi! Uh..” Said Tilly.
“​Ph'nglui mglw'nafh ​Cthulhu​ R'lyeh wgah'nagl ​fhtagn​.” said Cthulhu.
“What is wrong with this story! Can’t it realize Cthulhu is a one
note character joke that’s going to get less funny as it goes on?”

“​Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.”​ said Cthulhu.

“Whoever wrote this episode should be shot!”

Episode 13: Unimatrix Hero

Seven of Nine was checking through her efficiency roster. She began
in her signature monotone- “Captain, in order to-”
“No.” Said Janeway. “We aren’t getting rid of commander chakotay.”
“But the story!” Seven complained.
Janeway waved Seven’s pad out of her face. “You’re bugging me. I
enstate official shore leave. Go to the holodeck and have fun. That’s
an order.” Seven rolled her eyes, and made her way to holodeck four.

“Computer, activate Seven of Nine Program Alpha Beta One.” She said,
as the holodeck whirred to life.
“Seven of Nine Alpha Beta One Corrupted. Resolving.” Whirred the
computer. “Seven of Nine files irreparable. Finding substitute.”

“Explain.” Growled Seven to the computer.

“Substitute program loaded.” Responded the computer, not seeming to

pay attention.

“What is this? Deactivate the program! Comply!” Yelled Seven.

“Tom Paris Program One Open.”

Seven looked left and right. She was on Tom Paris’s Program-
And It seemed to be far more deadly than she thought it’d be.

Outside the Holodeck, Tuvok walked up to Janeway. “A spacial rift has

been loaded as a file into the computer memory. Someone created a
file for a literal black hole. I believe it is the program Seven of
Nine is Stuck in.”

“How can we have a black hole inside the ships memory files and not
all be dead?” Janeway asked.

“A simple answer. The plot armour generator.” Tuvok responded.

“Yes! All borg drones have a built in plot armour generator!” said
Janeway. “Seven must still have hers!”

Unbeknownst to Janeway and Tuvok, what Seven was dealing with was not
a black hole.

Seven grabbed her phaser from her pocket. She pointed it at the
threat. She began thinking- ​Why the hell would anyone have a file for
an eldritch abomination combination of a interspatial vortex, a
demogorgon, queen victoria and Cthulhu?

“RARRRRRRRGH” growled the eldritch abomination combination of a

interspatial vortex, a demogorgon, queen victoria and Cthulhu.

Seven thought to herself that this series was getting far too
ridiculous.

“Greetings, Eldritch abomination combination of a interspatial

vortex, a demogorgon, queen victoria and Cthulhu.” Seven of Nine
said. “Why are you here?”

“Hello, Jolly Great Holling, Cheer-io, AHYGDHDSAKADKjSKHAHsjsk, Thank

you, guv’nor, how are you this fine holiday?” The eldritch
abomination combination of a interspatial vortex, a demogorgon, queen
victoria and Cthulhu said.

“What.” Seven said flatly.

“Expert, Great Telly, cheerio, the copper, mate.” said The eldritch
abomination combination of a interspatial vortex, a demogorgon, queen
victoria and Cthulhu.

Seven, wondering what the absolute heck was going on, began to
scream.
Tom Paris suddenly appeared in the Holodeck. “So, I’m dead.” Paris
said. “Remember what Seska did? You know, in the episode ​Worst Case
​ he made a Posthumous Hologram Death Trap. So, I organized
Scenario? S
the computer, if I’m dead, for the next hologram program that is
loaded to basically become a proverbial whoopie cushion. So, sorry,
but you’re trapped in here with Mr. MittilyKiddens.”

The eldritch abomination combination of a interspatial vortex, a

demogorgon, queen victoria and Cthulhu, Apparently called Mr.
MiddlyKiddens roared.

Meanwhile…

B’Elanna Torres, and Ensign Useless were working on a bioparticular

temporal annexing chronotron analyzer.

“If we invert the emitter matrix the tachyon pull could cause the
plot to resolve!” Torres cheered.

Ensign Useless interrupted. “But our inter trans dimensional multi

faceted antimatter-matrix could do something related to the plot!
Without the plot armour generator, 97 borg cubes instantly land right
next to voyager and blow it up!”

Torres responded. “Then how much plot armour are we using? If we

could store some for when the borg cubes show up-”

“We’re at maximum capacity. eldritch abomination combinations of a

interspatial vortex, a demogorgon, queen victoria and Cthulhu, are
generally hard to control. If we had 0.000000000000000000001% less
plot armour, we would literally form 47 black holes on the port bow,
tearing the ship apart as the 97 borg cubes warp in, and once they
fire, we die, in literally biologically the most painful death ever
capable of creation.”

“Then we’re literally dead in 5 minutes?” Torres asked.

“Not if we activate one of the shuttlecraft’s plot generators and

feed it into the intermix matrix!” Ensign Useless cheered.

“Do it! Quickly!” Screamed Torres, running over to a nearby station.

She pressed buttons quickly.

Meanwhile…

Seska sat in her captains chair, trimming her nails. “So?” she asked.
“When are we going to do some plot contribution?”

“They’ve cut to our scene, Seska.” Kira said. “Something is going to

happen.”

Cthulhu began vibrating intensely. He collapsed, shaking.

“What?” Seska asked.

Tilly began chattering. “It seems Cthulhu is sensing another

Cthulhu!”

Lorca’s face blanched. “There’s more than one?!?”

Tilly paused. “No, the signal is too weak for the other Cthulhu to be
a pure Cthulhu. We’re dealing with a hybrid somewhere.”

“A hybrid?​ A CTHULHU HYBRID.”

“Yep!” Chirped Tilly. “There. I have it’s signal. I’m adjusting

engines to go after it. Shall we?”

The ship went to warp.

Meanwhile…

Seven was wondering what the heck was going on.

“Captain!” she said, slapping her communicator. “Any Progress?”

Janeway made incoherent stressed babbling, and hung up.

“Well.” Seven said, annoyed. She grabbed a deck of cards.
“Mr. MittlyKiddens, Do you want to play?”

“Blackjack, Pazaak, War, Go Fish?” Mr. MittlyKiddens asked.

“Poker.” Seven said, shuffling the cards. “I’ve always wanted to

learn.”
Mr. MittlyKiddens made strange noises, and he began dealing out
cards.

Meanwhile,

Torres and Ensign Useless had performed a miracle. She hit her
combadge.
“Torres to Janeway!” She said.
“What?” Janeway asked.
“Plot Armour Generator is doing...​something right​, deactivate the
holodecks!”

Janeway pulled the lever and deactivated the holodeck.

FZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ…

“Uh, Captain?” asked Seven.

“Seven, you sound uncertain.” Janeway responded.

“Because...It wasn’t a hologram…

Captain, It’s still here.”

“WHAT?” screamed Janeway. “Red Alert!”

*SCORPION CLIFFHANGER MUSIC PLAYS*

*DUN DUN DUN DUN!*

TO BE CONTINUED…

Chapter 14: Year of the Equinox of the Basic Future’s End of Unimatrix
Zero Scorpion- The ENDGAME.
As the scorpion cliffhanger music continued, Captain Janeway began
screaming with rage. “GET THIS GOD DANG CTHULHU OUT OF MY GOD DANG
HOLOSUITE!!!!”

“Commands Ineffectual, captain!” said Chakotay. “We cannot order

Cthulhu to do anything!”

“Crap!” Said Janeway. “Seven! Can you fix it with your nanoprobes?”

The Doctor walked onto the bridge. “Seven can fix anything with her
nanoprobes. Unfortunately, the writers have decided us to be stupid
for this episode, and not attempt to assimilate cthulhu into the
voyager collective.”

A voice played over the intercom. It was Seven, whining like a child.
“HIS NAME IS MR. MITTLYKIDDENS! HE’S ONLY PART CTHULHU!!!”

“And this episode is officially worse than threshold.” muttered

Janeway. Chakotay turned red with rage. ​“NOTHING IS WORSE THAN
THRESHOLD!!!”

Seven screeched maniacally like a six year old. “He’s Mr.

MittlyKiddens, He loves me, and I hate you! NYAHHHH!”

Janeway turns to Chakotay. “It seems seven has been reverted to the
mind of a six year old.”

“CTHULHU, I LOVE YOU, BUDDY BOY!” Screamed Seven.

“Cthulhu’s influence is strong. It must be him.” said Janeway.

“When did this stop being a star trek fanfic and start being a
cthulhu fanfic?” The Doctor asked.

B’Elanna Torres walked onto the bridge with Kes.

“I believe I have an answer for that, Captain.” said B’Elanna.

Kes began. “Everyone seems to forget that I have powers, so I

designed a temporal serum. One that will erase Cthulhu from this time
frame.”
“But the thing on the holodeck is not Cthulhu! It’s An Eldritch
Abomination Combination of-”
“I know!” screamed Kes. “If it works, we have to fight off the parts
that are separated, a demogorgon, A interspatial vortex and Queen
Victoria! But it’s the only chance we have!”

“Do it!” said Janeway. “Get down there and help Seven!”

Kes took the turbolift, and walked into the holodeck.

Seven was playing with a toy truck, lying on the floor innocently.
Mr MittlyKiddens was petting her head, and seemed to be somehow
smiling with the wisdom of an old woman, while at the same time it’s
face was blank, covered with tentacles and sucking everything in like
a vortex.
“Seven!” Said Kes.
“My name is AHSHEHDJDJDHSHSH.” Said Seven.
“This chapter is so dumb!” Screamed Kes. “And I’m gonna end it!”
Kes slammed a hypospray into Mr MiddlyKiddens, and the Cthulhu part
of him flickered and glowed.
It slowly disappeared into nothingness.
Meanwhile,​ The Real Cthulhu on Kira’s ship disappeared too.
“Goddangit.” said Kira.
Back on Voyager,
Queen Victoria, A Interspatial Vortex, and a Demogorgon collapsed on
the floor.
Kes grabbed Seven’s hand and threw her out of the holodeck.
“Captain! Eject the Holodeck!!” She Screamed.
Captain Janeway pulled a lever, and the Holodeck detached from
Voyager and was thrown into space.
“There! Now we can get back to serious and entertaining chapters!”
Janeway smiled.
Voyager Flew off into the unknown.

Later,​ a flying saucer flew up to the holodeck, now unattached to

voyager, which was floating aimlessly in space. Major Kira stood on
the bridge next to the others. Lorca commented Dryly that we never
caught up to Voyager in enough time to grab the Cthulhu hybrid in
it’s full glory. “Well, we can always salvage what they left.
Activate Tractor Beams.” Major Kira said.
“We need to pick up that Holodeck and set up foreboding
foreshadowing.”
Archer pressed random buttons on the bridge screen.
“Archer! Stop it!” yelled Seska. “You’re just pressing buttons! You
know literally nothing about our technology.”
“I want to feel useful!” Yelled Archer.
“Then Die.” Worf growled, and resumed his operating of his console,
which consisted of him slamming the wiring with a Bat'leth until
something happened.
“We need to find Voyager.” Kira said. “Whatever they left in that
holodeck could help us…

Chapter 15: If Wishes Were Bad Episode Titles.

Captain Janeway downed a cup of coffee. “You know what this story
needs? An Obligatory Star Trek Cameo. We need someone really good to
give us more ratings.”

Chakotay rested his head in his hands. “I have a suggestion.”

“Shut up, no one cares about you, Chakotay.” Janeway muttered.

Kes raised her hand like a schoolgirl.

“The most popular Star Trek Character is Spock. We Can’t Afford Him.”

“What about the other shows?” Ensign Useless asked. “Also yes, I may
have disappeared for the last few chapters, sorry.”

Janeway pressed a button and the view screen became a chalkboard.

“If anyone has nails, I’ll kill them.” she said. “Now, I’ll graph
each series’ most popular characters.”
She Wrote:

The Next Generation Captain Picard, Data, Riker.

Worf. Basically everyone but
Wesley.

The Original Series Kirk? We can’t use spock.

Deep Space Nine Garak. Everyone Loves Garak.

The Animated Series God dang M’Ress or something.

Enterprise Shran. Trip. T’Pol? Not that many

popular characters here.

Discovery Georgiou? People seem to Like

Georgiou.
Voyager Seven of Nine

“So,” Said Janeway, “I think our best chance for ratings, out of all
of these choices, is Seven of Nine.”

“But we already have Seven of Nine!”​ Screamed Everyone on the bridge.

“Then we get another Seven of Nine!” Smiled Janeway, Sweetly.

The Doctor rolled his eyes. “Last time, I checked, Disconnected Borg
Drones don’t grow on trees.”

“Goddang watch me,” Said Janeway, who took a Syringe of Seven’s DNA
and sprayed it into a nearby flower pot.

Seven began to grow on trees.

The Doctor Groaned. “That doesn’t count. We can’t get Seven’s a dime
a dozen.”

Janeway screeched. She pressed another button and the viewscreen

switched from a blackboard to the normal viewscreen. She dialed
1-800-BORG. “Hello, Borg. I’d like to buy another dozen Seven of
Nine’s. I seem to only have a dime on me, because the federation in
star trek is a communist society with no capitalistic ability. Do we
have a deal or something?”

“Sure.” said The Borg. “can we have some analysis’s on your genetic
makeup?”

“Doesn’t seem like we’re being double crossed to me!” said Janeway.
“Who would have thought the borg were trustworthy?”

Chakotay slammed his head into his monitor.

Chapter 16: Context is for Queens.

Chakotay collapsed in his bedroom after a long and annoying

occurrence that happened offscreen. He was annoyed with the Seven of
Nine Debacle as well. Evidently, Captain Janeway was willing to deal
with the borg to get NINE seven of nine’s, somehow, and was
completely unaware the borg would definitely double cross them. He
 ​ ctually, no,
hoped that this episode was a parody of ​counterpoint. A
he realized. There was enough pathetic heterosexual romantic
relationships in the series already. Anyway, he sat down, and
wondered when he had become the straight man in this series. Janeway
was crazy. Something had to be affecting her.
He began to wonder why this episode had a star trek discovery parody
title.

Janeway walked into her ready room. “It’s safe.” she muttered.
Captain Georgiou walked out of the shadows.
“They don’t suspect anything yet?” she asked, in her distinct accent.
“Maybe Chakotay.” Janeway responded.
“If they learn what’s happened to the real you...things could be
distinctly dangerous. I want you safe, Kathryn.”
“You’re far too overprotective.”
“And You are too trusting.” Georgiou glared. “I won’t let our plan go
to ruin.” Janeway smiled. “It won’t.” Janeway walked out of the ready
room onto the bridge. Georgiou made a faint smile, almost a smirk.
She sat in the captain’s chair, and began typing on her computer…

Tuvok sat in his quarters. *BEEOP.* The door chimed.

“Enter.” He responded. Chakotay walked into the office. “Janeway is
acting far differently.” he confided. “She doesn’t seem like
herself.”
“Her personality depends on the writer, Commander.” Tuvok responded.
“I am unaware of any out of character reactions.” he continued.
Chakotay groaned.

Kes walked in. “Tuvok! I’m sensing...Something from beyond the time
frame! It..Burns!”
Kes clutched her head and collapsed.
“Tuvok to sickbay!” Tuvok yelled, somehow still not portraying
emotion. “Medical emergency!”

Kes convulsed on the floor. Eventually, a transporter beam from

within the ship enveloped the three of them, and then they were in
sickbay.

The Doctor ran up to them, very quickly. “20 cc's cordrazine.

Cortical emitter.” he babbled quickly, handed instruments.
“Isomodulator. 20 cc’s Anti-Heptadine.” He injected instruments
quickly, time after time. “Medical tricorder!” he was handed it, and
scanned.
“She has inertial brain trauma.” The Doctor said.

“That’s not a thing!” Chakotay yelled.

“Alright, yes!” said The Doctor. “The writer of the story doesn’t
know medical science! He made something up!”

“Fine! What do you think is wrong with her, without using sciencey
terms!” Chakotay said, exasperated.

“Telepath Brain Hurty Hurty.” Responded The Doctor, Resuming his

work, waving his sciency wiency tools over Kes’s body.

“Don’t patronize me!” Yelled Chakotay, sick of being the straight

man, when Tuvok was literally standing right next to him.

“Her cerebral cortex is depolarizing! She will die in a few moments!”

“What about our reset button? Plot Armour?” Chakotay asked.

“I’m sorry. She is beyond dead. You have a few minutes left.”

Chakotay growled. “Kes, what did you mean beyond the time frame?”

Kes stuttered, and shook. ​“Discovery…”​ she whispered.

“DISCOVERY!?” Chakotay asked. “That’s insane! Computer: are tilly and

lorca onboard the ship!?”

“Negative.” responded the computer.

“Any other Discovery characters?”

“Data Restricted. Captain’s Authorization Required To Unlock.” the

computer reverberated.

“Dang.” muttered Chakotay. “Get me Mr. Neelix. Tuvok, with me. We’re
gonna talk to the captain.”

Kes screamed in agony, and flatlined, right behind them. They didn’t
notice, because of the plot.
Kes’s ghost popped up out of the body. “Oh Come on, does anyone care
about me??”

She sighed. “I’ll be back for ​The Haunting of Deck Thirteen.”

She then floated out of sickbay and into space.

Chapter 17: Armageddon Blame

“What’s going on with that chapter title?” Neelix asked, as they

walked through the hallway to meet up with Captain Janeway.
“It seems ominous. Like something really bad is going to happen.”

“It’s a pun on the DS9 episode Armageddon Game, Neelix.”

“Ooh! My actor auditioned for Quark on DS9!” Neelix shrieked.

“That’s a rumor.”

“I get them confused.”

“So.” Neelix began. “Why has Janeway gone insane?”

“It’s probably due to a star trek discovery character.” said

Chakotay.

“Sarek is one with mind powers! It’d be fun if it was Sarek!” Neelix
gleefully chattered.

“With all due respect, Mr. Neelix, A vulcan of such esteem would not
be evil.” Tuvok began.

“What about Tilly, Mr. Vulcan? She’s not evil-”

“But Lorca is-” Chakotay interrupted. “And Tilly is just following

Lorca’s orders. If we informed her of Lorca’s true identity, She
would probably rebel.”

“But this is irrelevant. They are not here. The Computer informed us
of such.” Tuvok summarized.

They arrived on the bridge.

“Officers!” Yelled Janeway, angrily. “What are you doing with Phaser
Rifles on ​MY​ BRIDGE…”

“We are relieving you of duty.” Tuvok summarized.

“Your actions related to Seven of Nine are Unacceptable.”

“So you know my true plan…” Whispered Janeway, cocking her head.

Several men beamed in-

In 23rd Century Terran Empire Uniform.

Janeway smiled, and calmly replaced her starfleet badge with a terran
one.

“The Mirror Universe is combining with this one. I’m afraid the
reflection… is killing your precious pacifistic federation.”

“This is a sudden and silly plot twist.” Chakotay remarked, before

being shot in the chest.

“All hail our emperor!” screamed Janeway.

“Hail her most Imperial Majesty, Mother of the Fatherland, Overlord

of Vulcan, Dominus of Kronos, Regina Andor, Emperor Philippa Georgiou
Augustus Iaponius Centarius!”

The golden dressed Emperor Georgiou entered.

She Began to Monologue evilly.
“Hello, Voyager. I suppose you thought You’d be meeting my prime
counterpart? None so lucky. She was a mewling fool, who attributed to
nothing but the saving of planets, the happiness of others, the
futility of pacifism. But I am here now! Bow Before Your Emperor!”

“BOW BEFORE THE EMPEROR!” The Voices Echoed, with a dramatic fade to
black.
*COMMERCIAL BREAK*

*YES THIS IS A COMMERCIAL BREAK*

*IN A STORY*

*DOESN'T MAKE MUCH SENSE*

*BUY SOME COCA COLA*

*STARBURST: UNEXPLAINABLY JUICY*

*AVENGERS 57: SO VERY TIRED AD.*

*IF YOU SWITCH TO GEICO YOU CAN SAVE 15% OR MORE ON CAR INSURANCE*

*PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE OTHER INSURANCE COMPANY DISSING GEICO AD*

*PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE GEICO DISSING OTHER INSURANCE COMPANY’S AD AD*

*PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE INCEPTION*

*WELCOME BACK TO STAR TREK VOYAGER THE LOST EPISODES, SORRY FOR THAT
COMMERCIAL BREAK!*

Chapter 18: Battered Mirror Part Ⅰ

Chakotay, Tuvok and Neelix were thrown into the brig, where they
found Torres, Ensign Useless, The Doctor and Seven of Nine.
“Mirror Georgiou is the Discovery character.” Seven muttered.
“Yeah, I noticed.” Muttered Chakotay, shrugging off the effects of
the phaser stun that shot him.
“Whatever is going on, it has to do with me, 8 other copies of me,
The Borg, Captain Janeway’s Sudden Loss of Logic, and The Mirror
Universe.” Seven continued.

“So far a normal day.” Snarked Torres.

“I think that most likely, we’re dealing with a mind controlled

Janeway.” The Doctor responded. “The Terrans have engineered a device
before, that acts as an agony chip on your shoulder, hurting you if
you disobey. It overall turns you into a puppet.”

“A puppet?” Tuvok queried.

​ hakotay wondered, before resuming to

Do they have those on vulcan? C
plan.

“So we get out of the brig, we find Janeway, deactivate the agony
chip, and hope nothing goes horribly wrong and we have a season
cliffhanger.” Ensign Useless summarized.

“That’s how it always seems to work.”

Seven perked up. “Have all of the writers forgotten that as a borg, I
am immune to force fields, such as the ones keeping us in this cell?”
Seven nonchalantly stuck her hand through the forcefield.

“Oh wow, I forgot all of the bullcrap a borg drone is capable of.”
“I could kill this whole ship if I wanted to.” Seven muttered, and
walked over to the console controlling the forcefield.

There was a terran guard. “Stop right there-”

Seven proceeded to utilize her assimilation tubules and cut the

terran guard in half.
“Why does everyone forget I literally have built in knife hands?”
Seven groaned.

“And you can bring people back to life.” Neelix added.

“Like I said, bullcrap that a borg drone is capable of.” Chakotay

lamented.

“I literally could just leave you there.” Seven said in her usual
deadpan.

“Nevermind!”

Seven pressed the console, and everyone walked out of the cell.

The crowd of crew proceeded to engineering.

Meanwhile, Janeway was sitting in the captain’s chair, but Georgiou

had made a ridiculously large throne next to it. Georgiou plucked her
nails.

“So, Captain. You know the plan. I’ve been waiting…” Georgiou
muttered impatiently.

Captain Janeway pressed buttons on her chair.

“Power up Ion-Tachyon Emitters. Warp Core Online.” She ordered.

“Activate Spore Fission Generator.” said Georgiou, pointing to a

terran ensign.

‘BLACK ALERT* BLACK ALERT* BLACK ALERT*’

Screeched the computer.

“And we… go!” Gleefully cheered Georgiou, who depite being gleeful,
had a subtle voice of maliciousness.
The Ship Warped.

The Crew of the USS Voyager was suddenly very unaware of where they
were. “Did you mess up the god forsaken​ CALCULATIONS!??!?”​ Yelled
Georgiou.

“Maybe.” said Janeway. “Or more likely, someone changed them.”

“Where are we, Captain?” Georgiou asked authoritatively. “Tell your

emperor!!”

Janeway looked out the voyager window. She began to shake.

“I won’t have y-you- c-control-l me aN-y longER!”

Georgiou growled. “Obey!” She Screamed. “We have arrived where you
told me to go! Now you will speak to them!”

“Emperor Georgiou? We have known coordinates.” an Ensign muttered.

“Yes?”

“We’re in fluidic Space.”

DUN DUN DUN DUN

TO BE CONTINUED....