Practice Tests Plus

Writing file
Advanced 2
New Edition Student scripts

Proposal
(Test 1, Part 2, Question 2)
Script A: Good answer

Introduction
The purpose of this proposal is to assess the needs of new students in the college with
regard to sporting and social activities, and make recommendation about what should be
provided.

Needs of new students

Students need to be integrated into the college so quickly as possible, so they can make the
most of the opportunities available as they tend to stick to what they know. They often lack
confidence and require support. They also tend to stick within their year group.

Current situation
There are currently a number of activities on offer.
1 Sports Clubs are run through the department of Physical Education. However, they are
perceived as elite and difficult to get into.
2 Faculty clubs run a variety of activities from the Geography club’s weekend trips to
the Philosophy club’s regular ‘dinner and debate’ evenings. Although information about
these can be found on every faculty noticeboard, it can be daunting and difficult for new
students to take the first step.

Recommendations
• Run free ‘taster days’ for all sporting activities, so new students can to meet older
students and try new sports. This would give them confidence, and widen their
experience.
• Implement a system of ‘buddies’ in the faculty clubs where an existing member takes a
new student to one of the meetings.
• Introduce a new type of informal gathering regularly where all students meet in the
coffee shop to mingle and to discuss.

Conclusions
The recommendations would be simple to implement, but would help new students socially.

Examiner comments
This answer is clear and well-organised with clear paragraphs. The style is appropriate for a
proposal, and the use of headings makes it very easy to read. The use of bullet points and numbers
also help to make it clear. There is a good range of language, and minor mistakes do not impede
communication. The content is relevant and the target reader would be informed and able to
assess the value of the recommendations.

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Practice Tests Plus
Writing file
Advanced 2
New Edition Student scripts

Proposal
(Test 1, Part 2, Question 2)
Script B: Satisfactory answer

The college currently provides many facilities for students apart from the excellent
academic programme. There is a great range of social and sporting activities on offer that
students can join to have fun and make new friends, although many new students don’t take
up the opportunities.

These are some of our recommendations for helping students make the most of their time.

In the sports facilities can students play football, rugby, cricket, basketball, softball and
the badminton. The college teams are always looking for skilled sportspeople to join the
college leagues, and students should be encouraged to join these; this can be done by having
special training sessions for all new students. If they have chance to represent the college
this is useful because it is good to include on your CV when you apply for jobs in the future.

The facilities also include a sophisticated gym and an enjoyable swimming pool, and college
should use these for social activities as well as serious training. There could to be a special
‘meet and greet’ night every week.

The college should to provide some other social activities that don’t require great skills, for
instance dancing lessons, book clubs, and cultural heritage tours around the area. One good
suggestion is that every Thursday should be students’ night with half-price drinks between
8 – 10 pm, because this provides perfect opportunity for meeting friends.

If these recomendations are followed, new students will benefit from them.

Examiner comments
The content is relevant, and the writer has made some good points. The answer is organised
although it is not always easy to pick out the different sections of the proposal, and this makes it less
communicative as the reader would find it hard to process. It would have been better with clearer
paragraphs or headings. The language is generally semi-formal and appropriate for the task, although
it is sometimes too informal, e.g. the use of you. There are also spelling and grammatical mistakes, e.g.
with articles. Although the answer is just about satisfactory, it is quite short.

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Practice Tests Plus
Writing file
Advanced 2
New Edition Student scripts

Proposal
(Test 1, Part 2, Question 2)
Script C: Unsatisfactory answer

Some useful tips for students

My name is Joe and I’m a student in this college. This is my last year now that I’m here. So I
would say that I know quite a lot of things about the life and the spirit of my college. That’s
why it could be helpful to give you some useful information.

At first I want to tell to you about the social activities offered by the college showing
several good ways to make new friends here.

Afterwards I inform you about the sporting activities which are organised by the college.

First of all l really want to recommend you to become a member in one of the several working
groups which meet after the lessons in the school. You can for example enter the ‘chess club’
or the ‘cooking club’. In those groups you really get to know other pupils very fast and besides
you learn a practical thing like playing chess or cooking.

The group that I am prefer is the ‘debate club’ where you talk and discuss about politics and
economics.

Additionally you get to know how other pupils think and you can learn from them.

These ‘working groups’ or ‘clubs’ were founded to advance socially and I really can recommend
them.

The sporting activities are another great aspect offered by the college. I play volleyball in
the college team and right there I found my first friends on the college. I think sports is
the easiest way of getting people together. So don’t be shy and go to training lessons of
football, volleyball or swimming. Do whatever you like! Sports really can help you to distract
from learning.

My final tip is to be open minded, if you have any further questions don’t hesitate asking me.

Examiner comments
The content is not relevant to the task, as the writer has not given an assessment of the situation
nor made recommendations about new activities. The ideas are confused which means they are
not communicated successfully and the target reader (the principal) would not be informed. The
conclusion is inappropriate. Although there is a range of language, the style is too informal for a
proposal (it is more like a personal letter) and the use of exclamation marks is inappropriate. There
are too many paragraphs, so the organisation is confused; a proposal should have paragraphs with
one topic in each and/or headings.

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