Different Types of Violence

Violence & Abuse can come in many different forms. Domestic Violence includes abuse
that is physical, sexual, emotional, economic, psychological, dating-related, focused on
children and the elderly, and stalking. Learn more about the different forms below:

Domestic Violence
Domestic Violence is a pattern of behaviors that intimidate, manipulate, humiliate, isolate, frighten,
terrorize, coerce, threaten, blame, hurt, injure, or wound someone; can be physical, sexual,
emotional, economic, or psychological actions or threats of actions used by one person to gain or
maintain power and control over another or others.

Domestic Violence includes:

 Physical Abuse: Hitting, slapping, shoving, grabbing, pinching, biting, hair pulling, etc.
Physical abuse also includes denying a partner medical care or forcing alcohol and/or drug
use.
 Sexual Abuse: Coercing or attempting to coerce any sexual contact or behavior without
consent. Sexual abuse includes, but is certainly not limited to marital rape, attacks on sexual
parts of the body, forcing sex after physical violence has occurred, or treating one in a
sexually demeaning manner.
 Emotional Abuse: Undermining an individual’s sense of self-worth and/or self-esteem. This
may include, but is not limited to constant criticism, diminishing one’s abilities, name-calling,
or damaging one’s relationship with his or her children.
 Economic Abuse: Making or attempting to make an individual financially dependent by
maintaining total control over financial resources, withholding one’s access to money, or
forbidding one’s attendance at school or employment.
 Psychological Abuse: Causing fear by intimidation; threatening physical harm to self, partner,
children, or partner’s family or friends; destruction of pets and property; and forcing isolation
from family, friends, or school and/or work.

(See more at http://www.justice.gov/ovw/domestic-violence)

Sexual Violence (Assault/Abuse)

Sexual Violence is any sexual behavior a person has not consented to that causes that person to
feel uncomfortable, frightened or intimidated is included in the sexual assault category. Physical
sexual assault occurs when someone touches any part of another person’s body in a sexual way,
even through clothes, without that person’s consent, including but not limited to forced sexual
intercourse (rape), sodomy (oral or anal sexual acts), child molestation, incest, fondling and
attempted rape.

The law generally assumes that a person does not consent to sexual conduct if he or she is forced,
threatened or is unconscious, drugged, a minor, developmentally disabled, chronically mentally ill, or
believe they are undergoing a medical procedure. Some examples of sexual assault include:
  Someone putting their finger, tongue, mouth, penis or an object in or on your vagina, penis
or anus when you don’t want them to;
 Someone touching, fondling, kissing or making any unwanted contact with your body;
 Someone forcing you to perform oral sex or forcing you to receive oral sex;
 Someone forcing you to masturbate, forcing you to masturbate them, or fondling and
touching you;
 Someone forcing you to look at sexually explicit material or forcing you to pose for sexually
explicit pictures; and
 A doctor, nurse, or other health care professional giving you an unnecessary internal
examination or touching your sexual organs in an unprofessional, unwarranted and
inappropriate manner.

(See more at http://www.justice.gov/ovw/sexual-assault)

Child Abuse
Child Abuse is purposeful and serious injury inflicted upon a child by a caregiver.

 Child neglect – most frequently reported form of child abuse and the most
lethal; defined as the failure to provide shelter, safety, supervision or nutrition;
can be physical, educational, or emotional.
 Physical neglect: refusal of or delay in seeking health care,
abandonment, expulsion from the home or refusal to allow a
runaway to return home, and inadequate supervision.
 Educational neglect: includes the allowance of chronic truancy,
failure to enroll a child of mandatory school age in school, and
failure to attend to a special educational need.
 Emotional neglect: includes such actions as marked inattention
to the child’s needs for affection, refusal of or failure to provide
needed psychological care, spouse abuse in the child’s presence,
and permission of drug or alcohol use by the child.
 Physical abuse – physical injury inflicted upon the child with cruel and/
or malicious intent; includes but is not limited to: punching, beating, kicking,
biting, burning, shaking, or otherwise bodily harming a child.
 Emotional abuse – (also called psychological child abuse, verbal child
abuse, or mental injury of a child) includes acts or omissions by parents or
other caregivers that could cause serious behavioral, emotional, or mental
disorders (e.g.: bizarre forms of punishment, such as confining a child in a
dark closet; extreme name-calling, etc.)
 Sexual abuse: includes fondling a child’s genitals, intercourse, incest, rape,
sodomy, exhibitionism, or commercial exploitation through prostitution or the
production of pornographic materials.

To report the crime of child abuse in New Mexico:

 From a cell phone dial #SAFE — #7233.

 From a landline, the number is 1-855-333-SAFE.
Youth & Dating Violence
Youth & Dating Violence is a pattern of abusive behaviors used to exert power and control over a
dating partner. Teens and young adults experience the same types of abuse in relationships as
adults. This can include:

 Physical abuse: any intentional use of physical force with the intent to cause fear
or injury, like hitting, shoving, biting, strangling, kicking or using a weapon
 Emotional abuse: non-physical behaviors such as threats, insults, constant
monitoring, humiliation, intimidation, isolation or stalking
 Sexual abuse: any action that impacts a person’s ability to control their sexual
activity or the circumstances in which sexual activity occurs, including rape,
coercion or restricting access to birth control.

While teens experience the same types of abuse as adults, often the methods are unique to teen
culture. For example, teens often report “digital abuse” — receiving threats by text messages or
being stalked on Facebook or MySpace.

(See more at http://www.breakthecycle.org)

Stalking
Stalking is a pattern of repeated, unwanted attention, harassment, and contact. It is a course
of conduct that can include:

 Following or laying in wait for the victim

 Repeated unwanted, intrusive, and frightening communications from the
perpetrator by phone, mail, and/or e-mail
 Damaging the victim’s property
 Making direct or indirect threats to harm the victim, the victim’s children,
relatives, friends, or pets
 Repeatedly sending the victim unwanted gifts
 Harassment through the Internet, known as cyberstalking, online stalking, or
Internet stalking
 Securing personal information about the victim by: accessing public records
(land records, phone listings, driver or voter registration), using Internet search
services, hiring private investigators, contacting friends, family, work, or neighbors, going
through the victim’s garbage, following the victim, etc.

Learn more here http://www.justice.gov/ovw/stalking

Elder Abuse
Elder Abuse is physical, sexual, emotional or financial abuse of an elderly person, usually one who
is disabled or frail by a caregiver (either in the person’s home or in an institution).

 Physical abuse – willful infliction of physical pain or injury, such as slapping, bruising,
sexually molesting, or restraining.
  Sexual abuse – infliction of non-consensual sexual contact of any kind.
 Emotional (psychological) abuse – the infliction of mental or emotional anguish, pain or
distress through verbal or non-verbal acts; including but not limited to: treating the adult as
an infant, isolating from family or friends; prohibiting social contact.
 Financial or material exploitation – the improper/illegal use of an elder’s funds, property or
assets including but not limited to: cashing checks without authorization, forging signatures,
coercing or forcing the elder to sign legal documents, improper use of conservatorship,
guardianship or power of attorney.
 Neglect – the intentional refusal or failure to provide goods or services necessary to avoid
physical harm, mental anguish or mental illness, including but not limited to: abandonment,
denial of food, basic hygiene or health related services.
 Self-neglect – is characterized by the behavior of an elderly person that threatens one’s
personal health or safety.

(To report Elder Abuse call 9-1-1 or 1-800-797-3260)

Learn more here http://www.aoa.gov/AoA_programs/elder_rights

Technology-Assisted Abuse
Technology-Assisted Abuse is using cell-phones, computers, social networks and other electronic
tools to stalk, bully, intimidate, frighten, harass or otherwise harm someone.

 Cyberstalking: a pattern of threatening behavior or unwanted advances directed at another

using the Internet and other forms of online and computer
communications.
 Cyberbullying: willful and repeated harm inflicted through the use of computers, cell phones,
and other electronic devices.

An abuser may keep track of how you use your computer. The only way to be completely safe is to
go to a computer the abuser doesn't know about, like a friend's computer or a computer at the
library. If you are at a safe computer, here are directions for making your home computer safe too,
go here to 9 Ways to Delete Web History.
Why Don’t They Just Leave?”
People who have never been abused often wonder why a person wouldn’t just leave an abusive
relationship. They don’t understand that leaving can be more complicated than it seems.

Leaving is often the most dangerous time for a victim of abuse, because abuse is about power and
control. When a victim leaves, they are taking control and threatening the abusive partner’s power, which
could cause the abusive partner to retaliate in very destructive ways.

Aside from this danger, there are many reasons why people stay in abusive relationships. Here are just a
few of the common ones:

 Fear: A person may be afraid of what will happen if they decide to leave the relationship.
 Believing Abuse is Normal: A person may not know what a healthy relationship looks like,
perhaps from growing up in an environment where abuse was common, and they may not
recognize that their relationship is unhealthy.
 Fear of Being Outed: If someone is in an LGBTQ relationship and has not yet come out to
everyone, their partner may threaten to reveal this secret.
 Embarrassment or Shame: It’s often difficult for someone to admit that they’ve been abused.
They may feel they’ve done something wrong by becoming involved with an abusive partner.
They may also worry that their friends and family will judge them.
 Low Self-Esteem: When an abusive partner constantly puts someone down and blames them for
the abuse, it can be easy for the victim to believe those statements and think that the abuse is
their fault.
 Love: So often, the victim feels love for their abusive partner. They may have children with them
and want to maintain their family. Abusive people can often be charming, especially at the
beginning of a relationship, and the victim may hope that their partner will go back to being that
person. They may only want the violence to stop, not for the relationship to end entirely.
 Cultural/Religious Reasons: Traditional gender roles supported by someone’s culture or
religion may influence them to stay rather than end the relationship for fear of bringing shame
upon their family.
 Language Barriers/Immigration Status: If a person is undocumented, they may fear that
reporting the abuse will affect their immigration status. Also, if their first language isn’t English, it
can be difficult to express the depth of their situation to others.
 Lack of Money/Resources: Financial abuse is common, and a victim may be financially
dependent on their abusive partner. Without money, access to resources or even a place to go, it
can seem impossible for them to leave the relationship. This feeling of helplessness can be
especially strong if the person lives with their abusive partner.
 Disability: When someone is physically dependent on their abusive partner, they can feel that
their well-being is connected to the relationship. This dependency could heavily influence their
decision to stay in an abusive relationship.
Barriers to Leaving an Abusive RelationsBarriers to Leaving
an Abusive Relationship

LEAVE THIS SITE QUICKLY

Many people ask “Why doesn’t the victim leave? Why does the victim stay?”–it is not
that simple. It is important to understand that there are many barriers to safety in an
abusive relationship. Leaving is often dangerous and there are many factors an abused
partner must consider in the analysis of how to respond to an abusive partner. The
better question is “Why does the abuser do this and how can I help the survivor gain
access to safety?” The reality is that the most dangerous time for a survivor/victim is
when she leaves the abusive partner; 75% of domestic violence related homicides
occur upon separation and there is a 75% increase of violence upon separation for at
least two years. These concerns are very real and must be addressed with safety
planning. The following are common barriers:

 Isolation: from friends, family, community support, resources, as abusers often attempt

to cut off survivors from support networks as a control mechanism
 Children: fear for their safety if abuser has threatened to hurt them if she leaves,
custody concerns (such as the abuser gaining custody which still occurs in 50% of
cases), child abuse that has occurred as a result of trying to leave in the past.
 Fear: of retaliation; of being killed; of the abuser hurting loved ones; of being stalked; of
not being believed; of unsupervised visits with the abuser putting children at risk
 Physical harm that occurred after trying to leave or after having called the police or after
having sought medical attention.
 Threats: the abusive partner may threaten to commit suicide or hurt their
partner/children, other loved ones and/or pets, threaten to call INS (Immigration and
Naturalization Services), threaten to take the children, threaten to “out” their partner to
family or coworkers, etc.
 Economic necessity: the abusive partner may control the finances or be the sole source
of finances for the family; the abusive partner may have destroyed the survivor’s credit
or forced joint accounts so starting over financially is not feasible.
 Lack of resources or information about available resources such as lack of
transportation to services or lack of access to the internet to find services or lack of
resources in the survivor’s language.
 Shelters are full and there is nowhere to safely go
 Hope/belief that partner will change, often resulting from manipulative tactics by the
abuser. A connection to partner’s well-being: fear that partner will be arrested,
imprisoned, deported etc. which may have consequences for retaliation, finances, and
children.
 Failure of the criminal justice system: with a very low prosecution rate, survivors are
not likely to pursue prosecution when they will have to be revictimized in court without
any meaningful results. Perpetrators often threaten the partner if they don’t recant and
 even when victims do “press charges,” it often only leads to a slap on the wrist for the
perpetrator.
 Racism and homophobia in the criminal justice system that results in a fear of turning to
resources such as the police or courts.
 Culture/ religion/ family pressures to stay together
 Shame or belief that the abuse is their fault, largely because of societal victim blaming.
 Immigration status: fear of deportation without partner’s support, fear of separation from
children, law enforcement etc.