On Modern love

“I didn’t kiss her goodbye because it didn’t feel quite the right moment to do it. And now
I’m freaking out, waiting for her to text me, because it’s her turn. I’m totally behaving like
the girl.” His words resounded in my head like a gong. The more I thought about it, the
more ridiculous the whole situation seemed. He was losing his head because she wasn’t
texting him back, and because, apparently, the roles had reversed. And then I realized that
I myself have stressed over the same issues multiple times in the past. Whoever’s been in
a relationship knows they are never easy, though I’m pretty sure my generation deals with
a lot of problems my parents’ generation didn’t have. It’s the modern love, the only kind
we know, one we didn’t choose and cannot avoid.

Back in the day people didn’t have many options to communicate with one another: either
they wrote letters, visited each other or, those who could afford it, used the telephone.
Nowadays we have cellphones and the internet, but instead of enhancing communication
I think sometimes technology disturbs it. Texting, for example, may seem convenient
because it saves us time, but does it really help us communicate? The words we read have
punctuation marks but the imaginary tone we use to read it is ours, and might be
influenced by our mood. Besides, what is this turn-taking protocol we seem to follow in
order not to sound too clingy, or show too much interest, or convey the idea that we don’t
value ourselves? I wish we could just reach out to somebody whenever we wanted to
without fearing rejection. And I wish I didn’t get so cynical and check mark-dependent
when people take their time to respond.

Maybe fear is the reason why we behave the way we do, why we follow social
conventions even when we find them ridiculous. After all, as much as I complain about the
fact that we women are expected to be submissive, I hardly ever dare to take the
initiative. What for? I could play by my own rules but the rest of the society would still be
playing by the old ones, and nobody likes being the odd one out. It seems like
unfortunately, adhering to these unspoken social rules works as a shield for self-
protection.

And I can’t help but wonder what relationships would be like without all this unnecessary
stress. I can’t be the only one who feels this way, so why haven’t things changed? Perhaps
because it takes courage to swim against the tide, or maybe it’s the fact that this is the
only way to interact with each other we know. Whatever the reason, there’s one thing I’ve
learned: to reach different results one must dare to do things differently. Maybe it’s time I
stop complaining and start acting: I might not win love, but I may learn a lesson.