THE DOG EATERS  tells the story of a couple’s disintegrating marriage against a backdrop of

poverty. Mariana, the distressed wife of a husband lacking in ambition, explodes when her
husband’s friends invite him for a drink. These friends have prepared a canine treat for their
drinking bout. The food disgusts Mariana. She feels that eating dog meat is indecent and
inhumane. But when she realizes that the people around her do not have any problems with this,
her cup is filled and takes certain matters into her hands as a desperate attempt to escape her
squalid realities.

I have many problems with this short story. First is the language. It is rife with
grammatical errors and typography. It’s possible that the version I read was carelessly
typed by someone else, but one could detect lapses in diction and parallelisms, things that
are not committed by dyslexic fingers. I’m not a grammar Nazi, the kind who would
triumphantly point out such and such mistake, but how can one trust a writer when the
work presented to you makes you want to grab a red pen? With that, the work feels
unfinished and hurriedly submitted to a writing workshop.

Second is technique. I’m sure that you’ve heard of the dictum “show, not tell.” Reading
the story feels a little gossipy, and this made me lose interest in whatever Mariana, the
disillusioned protagonist, is going through. I like themes of disillusionment, particularly
this one because of its transgressive twist, but this could have worked better had the
structure been reconstructed.

There is a flashback scene shoved to the reader that tries to summarize how Mariana and
her husband , Victor, ended up in poor state.

Victor was quite attractive. When he was teen-ager, he was a member of the
Gregory Body Building Club on Cortes Street. He dropped out of freshmen
year at Harvadian and instead developed his chest and biceps at the club. His
was to be Mr. Philippines, until one day, Gregory cancelled his membership.
Big Boss Gregory – who was not interested in girls but in club members with
the proportions of Mr. Philippines – had discovered that Victor was dating a
manicurist named Fely.

Victor found work as a bouncer at Three Diamonds, a candlelit bar at the end
of Artiaga, near Jacinto Street. All the hostesses there were Fely’s customers.
Mariana, who came from a better neighborhood, was a third year BSE student
at Rizal Memorial Colleges. They eloped during the second semester, the very
week Fey drowned in the pool behind Three Diamonds. Just as Mariana grew
heavy with a child, Victor lost his job at the bar. He quarreled with the
manager. An uncle working in a construction company found him a new job.
But he showed up only when the man did not report for work.
One of the challenges in writing a short story is giving life to its characters within its
limited boundaries. A blow-by-blow account of the key moments in the characters’ lives
will not do, and these paragraphs hold a testimony for it. There are details in this part that
are included only for the sake of being details. They hardly contribute anything to the
development of plot.

Furthermore, they seem like details that are seemingly important but are just glossed
over, as if they were just things suddenly remembered as asides, therefore giving the
reader an impression that indeed, they are inconsequential.

I have never heard of Leoncio P. Deriada. This first encounter is not good.