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Stories
1 Edward Jarrell shares the journey of how he became a part of the Page 5
Friendship House family.
2 Kathy Griffin-Graham, our Clothing Bank Director, shares a Page 7
touching story.
3 Meg Matteson Aument is a volunteer who has been walking with Page 8
our homeless friends for many years and is now an active board
member.
4 Gina Martinez, one of our housing graduates from several years Page 9
ago, is thriving now and shares her story.
5 Ken Copeland is a dedicated volunteer to Friendship House and a Page 10
past board president.
6 Roxane Blake is our Friendship House Office Manager and so much Page 11
more.
7 Dede Johnston has been a supporter, volunteer, and friend to Page 13
Friendship House for many years. She serves on our board as
Treasurer and has been a constant presence of the Ties that Bind at
our Wilmington Center.
8 Donald Drane is a dedicated volunteer, past board president, and has Page 14
been instrumental in our strategic and management transition
planning these past several years.
9 Marcy Perkins shares about a woman our staff walked with many Page 15
moons ago, Zella.
10 Debbie Layton has been part of the Friendship House family from Page 16
the beginning. Her beloved group from St. John's Cathedral School
has been part of our Sunday Breakfast since 1987.
11 Marcy Perkins shares about a dear friend in our Housing Page 17
community, Yvonne.
12 Kim Eppehimer, our Executive Director, shares a Friendship House Page 18
experience.
13 Ronda, a housing graduate, shares about her recovery. A telling Page 19
insight into some of the ugliness addiction brings, Ronda’s story
first appeared in our Against All Odds newsletter. A part of this
story is shared here.
14 Eileen Taylor, one of our female housing graduates, works two jobs, Page 21
including our Clothing Bank of Delaware.
15 Marissa Missan, our intern from the University of Delaware, shares Page 23
her insight as a youth volunteer.
16 Kathy Griffin-Graham, shares her experiences as the Director of the Page 24
Clothing Bank.

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17 Dunia Tonob, a recent graduate from the University of Delaware, Page 26
shares about her volunteer experience.
18 Maria Rivera was one of our incredible job trainees. An intern helps Page 27
to share her story.
19 Pat Saunders, the welcoming face of the Wilmington Empowerment Page 29
Center, has volunteered with Friendship House for 10 years and
shares her story.
20 Silas Harrison’s story is shared by one of Friendship House’s Page 31
interns.
21 Tom Parkins, a Newark Empowerment Center volunteer, shares his Page 32
story.
22 Sarah Wheatley tells about her volunteering experience. Page 34
23 Kathy Mowczan has helped Friendship House women from stage Page 35
one go grocery shopping for years and shares about her experiences.
24 Carly Wilt, who works at the Newark Empowerment Center, shares Page 36
her story.
25 Donna Johnson, a housing graduate of Friendship House, shares her Page 38
touching story.
26 Richard Waibel shares of his important role in the start of the Page 40
Newark Empowerment Center.
27 Mary Anne Matarese, the Assistant Director of Woman's Housing, Page 42
shares about her experience at Friendship House.
28 Karen Rogalsky shares about her inspiration to volunteer. Page 43
29 Shirley Pritchett shares her memories of the Transitional Housing Page 45
Program.
30 Bill Perkins reflects on his Friendship House journey. Page 47

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 Forward

For 30 years, Friendship House has walked with individuals in New Castle
Country during their life journeys. It is hard to imagine a more fulfilling experience
than taking part in a mother being reunited with her child, a father attending his
formerly estranged daughter’s wedding after being sober for months, or a man
receiving his first paycheck in years. Although these triumphs are challenging to
achieve, they represent the changing of lives. Our work empowers individuals to
save money, address their past, overcome obstacles, reunite with family members,
and take ownership for their actions. We are a stepping stone to independence and
pride.

Staff, board members, volunteers, donors, and others involved with our
relational ministry have had the opportunity to meet people from all walks of life.
We enable others to open their minds and hearts to others in need. We help those
misunderstood to feel supported and heard. Friendship House is fortunate enough
to be supported by the community it serves.

Thank you for your support.

~ The Friendship House Family

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 1. Edward Jarrell
On the night before Thanksgiving, arguably the biggest bar night of the year, I
took my last drink. For the next several days I would lay on my couch going through all
the symptoms that a cold turkey quit has to offer. The plan was to simply get myself
together enough to get on a plane, train or anything and get back to Delaware.
The odds were stacked. I had less than twenty dollars to my name, no car, no contacts
left to reach out to for any help, and my cell phone was a week away from termination.
Even though I was living on the west coast of Florida I was in hell. One-step away from
homelessness.
By the grace of God I sold everything of value in the span of a day and secured
enough money to purchase a Grey Hound bus ticket from Tampa to Wilmington. I would
then take a transfer bus to Kirkwood Detox and hopefully then back to Gateway. The
program I had walked out of several years before when I was convinced I had alcohol
beat. I took a drink less than two days after leaving that time.
Thin at best, I look back at this course as one of pure genius for it is exactly how it
happened. I waited in the lobby of Kirkwood Detox for countless hours. I stayed there
hoping for a spot back at Gateway for many days and then was a guest of Gateway for
four months. I listened, took suggestions and followed the advice of counsel. It was my
counselor that suggested Friendship House.
Friendship House was this form of “Halfway House” in the city. You had to be
interviewed and if you were accepted, you would wait for an opening. It was described
by my counselor as a strict, no nonsense place to get your toe back in the world. I knew
that if I were truly in it for my recovery I would have to go there. My recovery was taking
me to Wilmington.
It was a cold, rainy day straight out of a movie when I showed up at the doors of
8th and Madison. Things would start out rough and I would doubt my decision to come
to the city and Friendship House many times. A funny thing happens in recovery when
you work it. You just might not see it at first.
Looking back, the blessings and achievements I had while at Friendship House
were the greatest in my recovery. They were the building blocks of my sober life. I could
take the time to assimilate myself back into the world as a member of society. While
there, I renewed my license, credit, and more importantly, my self-esteem. I found my
sponsor while living there who to this day is like a father. I found a job that turned into a

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career, which started with the simple fact that the bus ran from Friendship House to
that business’s front door. I took the bus for a year while saving for a vehicle.
Upon my Graduation from Friendship House, I took their suggestion and moved
into an Oxford House. It is now arguably the strongest in the city. When there is an
opening, Friendship House is first on our list to see if there are any worthy candidates.
When I chaired my two-year anniversary in AA, the room was full of men with
countless sobriety. I spoke about how for me, the difference between the first year of
sobriety and the second year had one distinct difference. The first year is when I got
myself back and the second is when I got my stuff back. Friendship House & my
Guardian Angels over there played a major role in my first year.

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 2. 5th Grader – Kathy Griffin-Graham
I usually do not get to see the recipients of our clothing orders from the Clothing
Bank of Delaware, but on a special day last June, this was a little different. A local social
worker stopped in with a very handsome young man who had just entered the foster
care program. "You see", she told me, "he is graduating from 5th grade and needs dress
clothes to attend." Yikes! This boy has nothing! I asked him what clothes he had. Very
softly he told me "some school clothes." I think he was a little embarrassed to tell me
that he had nothing. I asked him if he had a suitcase or way to carry his clothing. "No." I
know all too well that most foster kids are handed a plastic trash bag to carry their
belongings.
While we are not in the business of filling orders on the spot, what is one to do?
My new friend needs to look super for his 5th grade graduation. Boys clothing is always
in such demand as we receive so little but, much to my surprise we were able to find
him black pants, a white dress shirt, dress shoes size 7 1/2 (that is a rare find), a suit
jacket (another rare find being small), socks, and a tie! In addition, we were able to find
him a couple of cool shirts, swim trunks, pajamas, and shorts. The bonus was finding a
black duffel bag that will hold all of my new friend’s belongings!
With a fist pump my friend was pleased that he matters, that there are people
who care and he has clothing. He owns something even if it does fit in a small black
duffel bag. He is going to look great at graduation!
Friends, pray for my 5th grade friend. Pray for all of the children in foster care.
Pray that they are safe, feel loved, and know that their lives matter.
I give thanks for the ministry of the Friendship House Clothing Bank of Delaware
and all of the fine people who support us. Without them, how could I help make a
difference in our community?

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 3. Meg Matteson Aument
A memorable story for me was meeting a young couple one night at Code Purple,
either last year or the year before. They stopped by to say hi to Bill, and I think they
brought clothing with them to donate. The previous year they had been homeless and
needing shelter. They told me how hard it had been to live on the street and get a job.
The housing programs offered required them to stand in line in the morning and then to
arrive back early to get access. I believe they had to do this daily. It had been impossible
for them to secure a job when they spent all their time trying to get housing. It wasn't
until they found a shed on a large property off 52 where they could stay and keep their
belongings that they could get jobs and move forward. They remarked that the support
they received from Friendship House kept them encouraged. They both had good jobs
and an apartment and were hopeful for the future. I remember feeling that the help and
encouragement that Friendship House provided helped this couple reach independence.

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 4. Gina Martinez

I can honestly say that without the Friendship house I would not be where I am
today. Once I was done at the Crest program, the first thing I worried about is where do
I go now? I feel many of the problems today are because once someone is done a
program, or incarceration, people tend to get stuck, asking themselves “Do I get sober,
do I look for a job, or try to find a place to live? Which comes first?”
You should not have to choose. That's were having a place to transition to is so
comforting, a peace of mind! Not only does the Friendship House help you transition
from one place to theirs, but they show you every day skills that most people take for
granted. In addition, with each stage you progress with more responsibilities you receive
more privileges. This is how it is in real life too. To much is given, much is required! I
recently received a promotion in July 2016 as Assistant Director of Security and
Technology where I work. I would not be able to do this position without all the
"behavior modifications" I learned at both the Crest and Friendship House. ROCK ON
FRIENDSHIP HOUSE!

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 5. Ken Kopeland
A few years ago, my wife Janice, her sister, brother-in-law, and I helped prepare a
meal to serve to the clients of Andrew’s Place. At the time, Janice was in the early stage
of Alzheimer’s disease, but still remained in sound enough condition to participate in
serving and socializing. As we busily prepared the platters and began serving, I noticed
Janice was already seated at a table in the back of the room and engaged in
conversation with one of the clients. Because she seemed pre-occupied, I didn’t bother
to remind her that there were still platters to be served; the other three of us took care
of that responsibility. Then, after all the meals were served to the clients, I saw Janice
waving for me to join her. I approached the table and Janice enthusiastically introduced
me to the client seated with her. “This is David,” she offered. “He grew up down the
street from me in Stanton!” Though he was a few years younger than Janice, they knew
each other’s families and the neighbors of that community. David shared that he’d
suffered a career-ending injury, and had encountered addiction issues as he tried to
cope with the chronic pain.
But on this Sunday evening, Janice’s still functioning, long-term memory allowed
her to pick David out of a crowded room, even though it had been over four decades
since she’d seen him last. As they exchanged stories, laughed, and enjoyed a few
minutes together, I clearly saw how God had brought them together to brighten each
other’s day and to reassure David that he was not forgotten, but remained treasured in
people’s hearts and minds!

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 6. Roxane Blake

The first time I ever heard about transitional housing was February 1998, I was
interviewed to move into transitional housing not knowing I was accepted. I was
released from the Crest Program on April 1, 1998 after completing 14 months of the
Village Program and 4 months of the Crest Program. Still not knowing if I was accepted, I
decided to take a chance and head over to the Epiphany House located at 1411 W. 4th
St. where Marcy Perkins was there to greet me. Telling me I was accepted, I was so
grateful that day. At that moment, my life would change beyond my wildest dreams.
The women’s housing program taught me how to live and be a mother to my daughter,
how to save money and pay bills, things I never knew how to do. I learned to be
responsible for my actions. The women I lived with encouraged me to attend 12 step
meetings, and I am a living miracle with 20 years clean. I am a proud member of the
fellowship, still attending meetings on a regular basis.
Not knowing at the time that I would end up working for Friendship House, I have
now worked here for 19 years. My job is so rewarding. I am the Office Manager in the
Main Office. Our staff here at Friendship House is like no other place I have ever
worked. Everyone here supports each other; we are a family.
In 2004, my co-worker talked me into applying for a pardon. She had a friend,
who was a lawyer that wanted to volunteer in some capacity at Friendship House, and
she suggested helping me with a pardon. I really thought it would be a waste of time. In

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my addiction, I was always in trouble with the law, and I did not think it was worth it or
that they would give me a pardon anyway. I got the courage to face the wreckage of my
past. The pardon took over a year to complete. We went before the pardon board on
December 15, 2005, and the pardon board granted a recommendation to the governor.
On June 13, 2006 the governor, Ruth Ann Minner signed my pardon!
I am so grateful for all of the people I work with at Friendship House who have
walked this journey with me, and for the encouragement they give me every day to be
the best I can be. I could not have done it without you Friendship House. Happy 30th
Anniversary; I am glad I am a part of it.

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 7. Dede Johnston

I have a deep and lasting place in my heart for The Ties that Bind, a group of
clients, staff, and volunteers that meet monthly at the Wilmington Empowerment
Center. We share stories, learn empowerment strategies and skills that help us grow,
and we pray.
I will never forget a particular January afternoon four years ago when Evelyn
shared with us vignettes from her life; vignettes filled with much hardship and despair.
Yet, as she stood before us that day, she was self-possessed and confident; a mother
and grandmother, a woman clean for five years.
Evelyn trusted God and invented a new path for herself and her message.
Speaking directly and quietly to the group of twenty women who had gathered, she
said, “Your future depends on how you decide to remember your past. We each have a
choice of letting God speak or letting our wounded self-cry out.”
Genell crystallized the importance of Evelyn’s message and The Ties That Bind
community of women, when she explained, “We all have detours. We are all in some
kind of recovery, and we all need to let go of what is holding us back. We need to clean
our wounds and let them heal from the inside out.”
I remember stepping out into the cold January air after our meeting and feeling
the power and importance of this Friendship House community—a community that
shows us we are not alone, any of us, and that Evelyn’s story, like all of our stories, is a
story of overcoming—a process without an end.

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 8. Donald Drane
“Trillizos” is a Spanish word I wasn’t familiar with. Despite not being a native
Spanish speaker, I thought I was communicating fairly well with a Hispanic woman
asking for some clothing for her six grandchildren, including some little ones. Finally, I
put 2 and 2 together (or, better said, 2 and 1) and realized that the three babies were in
fact 6-month-old triplets, “trillizos” in Spanish. Once my lesson was over, we got the list
of ages/genders, and the Friendship House Clothing Bank of Delaware came through big
time with several bags of clothing.
Friendship House is expanding its network of Empowerment Centers in New
Castle County so that we are physically present for those in the wider community, many
of whom are reluctant – or unable – to travel to the Wilmington or Newark
Empowerment Centers. On Wednesday’s during St. Mark’s UMC’s weekly food ministry,
Friendship House staff and volunteers provide empowerment services. I have been
there for some months now as part of a Resurrection Parish “contingent” of volunteers,
which includes Pat Scofield. Some of the food ministry’s clients are Hispanic, and many
of these people do not speak English. (A full 13% of all Americans speak only Spanish or
have limited English skills; that’s over 40 million people. Approximately, 10% of people
in New Castle County are Hispanic.) On other occasions, Friendship House has been able
to help with a propane gas (heating) bill and provide phone numbers / contact
information to a young mother in a domestic violence situation.

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 9. Zella – Marcy Perkins
Zella was one of God’s Little Ones, a unique being who made us laugh and cry
and rant and rave. She was both vulnerable and indestructible, intelligent and erratic.
To the casual eye, she was a crazy street lady, even after she secured independent
housing. She was somewhat scary to those who didn’t know her and she was
unpredictable to those of us who had known her for years, even decades. Disruptive,
demanding, argumentative and, at times, out of control, she was a tormented soul who
heard voices and battled with them every day. She was known all over Wilmington, at
least by homeless service providers and by the “authorities.”
Yet every now and then there would appear glimpses of a gentler spirit. She
never held a grudge against us for putting her out of the Women’s Center when she lost
control. And, likewise, we didn’t hold a grudge: it was just Zella. She was who she was.
She was a spiritual woman who kept the High Holy Days (often borrowing money from
us so that she could keep the feasts). She sent money she couldn’t afford overseas to
Save the Children or a similar charity because her heart was touched by the plight of
suffering children.

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 10. Debbie Layton
When Bill Perkins approached the Cathedral Church of St. John in 1987 about
creating a team for a new program to provide breakfast for the homeless at Saint
Andrew’s, his timing was perfect. Cathedral members had been seeking a “hands-on”
program it could actively support. There were so many parishioners wanting to
participate that the Cathedral immediately created two teams to serve breakfast once a
month.
Early on someone from the team approached Tomm’s in Hockessin about
providing leftover produce that could be used either in the quiche or donated outright
to those coming to the breakfast. My husband and I would drive to Tomm’s to pick up
boxes and boxes of leftover fruits and vegetables. We were extremely grateful for
Tomm’s generosity when we saw how quickly the produce disappeared on Sunday
mornings.
When Tomm’s closed and produce was no longer available to add to the quiche,
our team thought the quiche needed some more body. We started bringing either
ground pork or ground beef to add to the quiche. Pork was problematic for some of the
attendees, so we settled on bringing cooked and seasoned ground beef (which became
known as “cheeseburger quiche”). On Sunday mornings we were pleased by the positive
response to our quiche and for the gratitude of those sharing the meal; a simple “thank-
you” was heartwarming. Each of us looked forward to our team’s turn and for the
opportunity to see familiar faces, to serve, and to be part of this vital ministry to those
in need.
When the Cathedral closed in 2012, the question arose as to whether the team
wanted to continue serving the breakfast. The immediate, unanimous response was, “Of
course, we want to continue; this service is special!” And that is how we became “St.
John’s Alumni.” The team was enthusiastic about the opportunity to serve those who
needed a warm meal or a smile.
Our team loved working with John Owens and Bill Perkins, and the opportunity to
provide breakfast made those Sunday mornings special. We are all grateful for our years
of service to this ministry to the community.

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 11. Yvonne – Marcy Perkins

On December 8, 2011, I was privileged to be present at the birth of one of the

sweetest, most energetic and most beautiful of little girls. Yvonne Lee Nock is the child
of my friend and housing graduate, Roselaine, and her significant other, Lamont.
Yvonne is now five and has been surrounded by loving support and guidance all
her life. Her mother works two jobs; her dad is fully employed. They are buying their
own home. Roselaine has over 10 years clean from drugs and alcohol, and she maintains
her relationship with Friendship House by budgeting with us and by attending Graduate
events. She also works for us on weekends.
Yvonne’s happiness is particularly poignant because Roselaine’s childhood was
not always happy. Roselaine makes the wellbeing of her children, Yvonne and her sister
Gabrielle, top priority. It is wonderful to see her care of these girls: Yvonne takes a
dance class; both girls go to an educational day care center; they go to church and
Sunday School.
Life is not always a smooth ride for this family, but faith sustains them. One look
at Yvonne’s smiling face reveals the joy at the foundation of her being. What a gift.

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 12. Chris – Kim Eppehimer
One morning at our Sunday Breakfast, as we were wrapping up and people were
leaving, one of our homeless friends asked me if I saw his girlfriend, Katie, to let her
know he will be down the street. “Sure,” I said. “And what’s your name?” “Psycho. Well,
that’s how people out there know me. My name is Chris. But I don’t use that name out
there,” Chris said as he pointed towards the church doors. “Yes,” I said, “I understand.”
He continued, “It’s rough, you know, being on the streets. I don’t give my name.” But,
you will give it to me in here, I wanted to say. I didn’t need to say that, though, because
we both knew. We knew the sanctuary built inside the Friendship House walls is sacred.
It is here that we ask you to leave the street name out on the street, and we invite you
in to be yourself. Inside these walls, we look past your hard exterior, past the image you
have built to hide the insecurities and truth, past whatever shame you may be carrying;
and, instead, we aim to look inside to see the person God is trying to pull out. It is in
these sacred moments we might be able to find a connection – a connection that might
take years to turn into an “a-ha” moment when someone finally chooses to change
something in their life holding them back from being the best person they can be. It is in
this safety that we, as staff and volunteers, also drop our own insecurities, judgement,
and shame in order to see the person sitting next to us as a brother or sister.
There is a lot of shame our clients carry with them. It is something I can see
because it is something I have also felt and still carry with me. In fact, I do not know
anyone who has not felt shame. I do know many people, though, not ready or willing to
admit that they have felt this feeling. Shame holds people back from the truth – and it is
within the admittance of feeling shame that grace finds its way out and we feel relief.
As I have solicited for stories for our 30 for 30 project, I have asked the question,
“How has Friendship House affected you?” For me, I should be asking, “How hasn’t
Friendship House affected me?” In so many ways I have grown, stretched, shrank, and
learned. I have become more of who God wants me to be, I think, once I walked into the
Friendship House family. I have seen firsthand that shame and grace can live in the same
space, and given the chance, grace will win – every time.

(Names changed for anonymity.)

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 13. Ronda
I look back at the people in my life, and I can’t help but feel witty. I’ve lied,
manipulated, and betrayed in the past. In my recovery, I’ve learned that these were part
of my character defects. I always justified these behaviors. I was seeking sympathy and
pity from others. In this way, I could get what I wanted when I wanted it. I felt I
deserved it. If anything bad happened, it wasn’t my fault, because the world was out to
get me. My manipulation allowed me to control every situation. I thought control was
the key to everything. I failed to realize that my actions took that same control away
from me. The things I did made my life unmanageable. In my eyes, though, no one had
the right to tell me what to do. As my life spiraled downhill, I became completely lost. I
hid my emotions, who I really was, in different addictions. Food was my first addiction,
then I substituted alcohol and pills. I didn’t have the food or weight to hide behind, so I
found other things.
Due to my manipulation and lies, I was able to hide my addictions for years. My
weight had led to health problems, so any signs of my addiction were attributed to
those health problems. People felt more sympathy for me, and that just fed the whole
cycle of self-pity.
Finally though, I hit the proverbial bottom. I lost control of my life, all pride, and
my job. The loss of these things barely fazed me. All I could think about was making any
feelings go away.
At one moment of clarity, I knew I needed help. I ended up at the hospital for the
first time admitting to someone that I was an alcoholic. I begged for help. My pleas
landed on deaf ears. Even during my subsequent stay detoxing, my pleas to go to rehab
failed.
After getting out, I did take control again: calling, writing, doing everything I could
do to get help. I put as much determination in that as I had in my using.
I don’t know what I expected, but I soon realized going to rehab was my way of
running from who I was and what I was doing to myself. I somehow thought I could
manipulate my way through rehab as I had through life. Little did I know that I was
trying to manipulate people who had seen it all: other addicts, manipulators, and
counselors who saw through it.
I spent the next 5 months, 21 days trying to see me. I had to dig through 30 years
of lies and hidden emotions: pain that I’d covered up and fears that I’d denied.

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 Facing these problems was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I knew if I didn’t
face it, I would continue to run and hide, resorting to the same old behaviors. The same
fight I had put into running and hiding all of those years I now had to put into my
recovery. I had to make the choice between recovery or relapse.
I chose recovery. Part of that meant turning my control over again. I decided not
to go back downstate to a family that loved, but enabled me. Instead, I went into
transitional housing. I had gained strength, and I knew I needed the help and support of
people who understood me.
Giving up control and old behaviors that I’d lived with for so long was necessary
for me to live. Over 8 months, I’ve grown finding the person I am, setting up the
boundaries I know I need to in order to be spiritually alive. I learned to live again with
honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness.

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 14. Eileen Taylor
I left it all behind, everything familiar and comfortable to me was left in New
Jersey: family, friends, home, addictions. I started over in Delaware.
Nearly penniless, jobless, and just completing another program in Delaware
where I gained a greater understanding of God and faith, I needed a safe place to live a
clean and sober life. I knew I needed an additional program, something greater to keep
me on my journey to an independent and clean life that I had started in Delaware.
Grace led me to Friendship House.
I knew nothing about Friendship House but applied for the Transitional Housing
Program. At my first interview with Marcy Perkins I knew I was going to be okay. I had
no ID, no social security card, no birth certificate, NOTHING! What I remember most of
that meeting with Marcy was what she said when she learned that I had no
documentation of my life. She simply said, “We can help you.” I arrived at the
Epiphany House on February 15, 2016. This is when my new life began.
This was not my first attempt to be clean. I have struggled with addictions since
the 80’s and attempted recovery many times in the past. Recovery is difficult; it takes a
lot of work. When you lose belief in yourself, have no money or family, no job, do not
recognize your skill sets, and have no self-worth, it is easier to “just use.” This is where
I was when I left New Jersey and made my way across the bridge to Delaware, to my
new beginning.
Walking into the Friendship House housing program, I found a safe haven. It was
as if my own mother’s arms were wrapped around me. The housing staff spent hours
getting my ID, social security card, birth certificate, and marriage certificate. If that was
not enough, they helped me gain employment at the Clothing Bank of Delaware. My
first paying job in a very long time.
All of a sudden, I began to feel like a human again! I was contributing to my
community and society in a meaningful and constructive way!
Many events happened to help transform me. Meeting with my caseworker,
Maryanne, every day to share what I did and late-night talks with Shirley helped me gain
confidence that I was capable of making good choices. After a while, I was comfortable
enough to meet with her once weekly. I was taught to budget (which was not fun for
Maryanne) but it paid off big for me.

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 The staff would leave the office on Friendship House budget review days.
Working at the Clothing Bank of Delaware, I felt like a valued employee. Working with
Kathy, I was not judged for my past; I was valued for the skills I brought to the job (I had
forgotten I had skills)!
I also learned how to communicate better because of all of the Friendship House
programs. I found I was no longer angry at the world. Everywhere I turned there was
someone from Friendship House working to help me: everyone in housing, Marcy,
Maryanne, Shirley, and Shawn, board members Sharon and Kay, the Clothing Bank,
Marc, Kathy, and the Main Office, Roxane, Mr. Bill, and Kim. It just seemed impossible
that this many people want to see me succeed and truly care about me.
The entire process helped me to obtain my new job at BJ’s Wholesale Club. But, it
was no secret that I really wanted to work at Friendship House. If I could work at
Friendship House, I, too, could possibly make a difference in the life of another person.
Life has a funny way of working out when you start doing the right things and
make the next right decision. I graduated from the Friendship House in January 24,
2017. Now I have INDEPENDENT housing, a savings account, a checking account, and a
401K plan! As I said earlier, that time spent with Maryanne paid off! (My apologies to
Maryanne for being difficult). Then to add a cherry on top, I was invited to interview for
an open position at the Clothing Bank of Delaware. So, I now work at BJ’s and at the
Clothing Bank of Delaware.
My journey gets better every day. I am not saying that there are not difficult
times, but I know that I have the strength and courage to get through any challenge. I
have reunited with my family in New Jersey. They are very proud of the person I am
today. I have gained a new family in Wilmington, Delaware. Marc Marcus, upon my
hire at the Clothing Bank, ended our meeting by saying that what mattered more than
the job I was taking was me. I was worth the investment that Friendship House had
made in me over the past year.
I am brought to tears (ask anyone in Friendship House) each time I talk about my
journey at Friendship House. I am in awe of the path God has laid out for me. My soul
is filled with gratitude and thanks to Friendship House for reminding me that God is not
done with me. I am here, I can make a difference, and I matter.

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 15. Marissa Missan

About two years ago, I started at the University of Delaware without declaring a
major. I knew I wanted to help people, but I did not know how to make a true impact on
society and individuals. During my first two years at UD, I volunteered in DE through
clubs. One of the first locations I volunteered at was the Friendship House’s Clothing
Bank of Delaware. This, and other experiences, accumulated to an interest in non-profit
business. As I researched organizations in the area, I discovered Friendship House was
the organization behind much of the incredible work done in the community. As I read
more about the organization, I wanted to get involved and help the cause. Friendship
House does not just provide substantial support for those experiencing homelessness,
but it is also an organization that is a true home. The staff truly care, and the touching
30 for 30 stories that have preceded this demonstrate the good their caring does. I have
just started interning at Friendship House, and I cannot wait to add to this story and
learn more about the organization’s impact and contribute to the community it serves.

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 16. Kathy Griffin-Graham
The year was about 2000, I was the Office Manager at a local veterinary hospital,
and I had this feeling that it was no longer the job that God had planned for me. It only
took me eight years and three more jobs to figure out His plan. In between 2000 and
2008, my jobs included scheduling installations and handling concerns for a prominent
home improvement company, two more jobs as veterinary hospital manager, and even
a dabbling in home sales. I gathered many valuable tools along the way with those jobs,
but the nagging feeling that I was supposed to do something else, something bigger,
persisted. I am not sure quiet how it happened, but I recall having one of those AHA!
moments in 2009. I called my husband and said, "I should be a volunteer co-coordinator
for a non-profit organization.” That sounds rather crazy I know, but it happened. Then
out of the blue, just two days later, my church's newsletter arrived, and who would
believe it!? There in print was an advertisement for a Volunteer co-coordinator right
there in black and white! Yep! I called my husband at work and said, "my job has
become available." Within a few days, I had an interview with Bill Perkins, who I knew
from the first veterinary hospital and Ashlin Bray. About a week later, I had a job offer. I
was extremely excited to begin a new adventure but terrified because of the uncharted
territory! For heaven's sake I never even asked what the job paid! Over the next two
weeks I kept seeing church signs and each sign had the same message "Do Not Be
Afraid, Do Not Worry." So in I jumped with my eyes WIDE SHUT!
It has been a very rewarding eight years with Friendship House, Inc. Where I
began my journey as a volunteer coordinator, I had the opportunity to really get an
understanding of Friendship House and the amazing "Relational Ministry" they provide. I
was blessed to work with many great volunteers and many awesome clients. While
working at each Friendship House site, I became quite a fan of the Clothing Bank of
Delaware. Many times I was asked to come and cover hours when there was a shortage
of staff. This is when I really began to find my niche and the call that God had planned
for me. In 2013 I was asked to join the Clothing Bank team full time and became the
Director. It has been an amazing journey, shaping new programs to help our job trainees
move forward and growing the number of volunteers who visit our site and giving
clothing away. Who does not like giving things away?! Then, I get the pleasure of
working with AMAZING volunteers. I feel like I get a new friend each time a first-time
volunteer enters my door. Last year we had nearly 1,500 volunteers. That is a lot of
friends! We certainly could not get our jobs done without these great folks.
My job has not been without challenges. The women who choose to leave the
program, those who relapse, women who struggle to find employment, and the loss of
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co-workers always leave a little hole in my heart. But, it also has its triumphs! Seeing a
woman cry when she gets her first pay after years of unemployment, watching a women
get that call that she has been hired, seeing women become more confident, trusting,
and full of renewed spirits, makes the job all worthwhile. If you have not had the chance
to join me at the Clothing Bank, I encourage you to come and see what all of the fuss is
about. I always have room for a new friend.

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 17. Dunia Tonob

I first volunteered at the Friendship House's clothing bank four years ago during
my freshman year of college. Service and being an active participant in my community
has always been a very important part of my life, so I truly appreciated the opportunity
to do some hands-on work sorting and organizing clothes. Over the past four years, I
have both participated in and led service trips for UD students to the Friendship House,
and I have always appreciated how welcoming all the staff and administrators have
been, and how supportive they are of our desire to get involved. Everyone I have met
who either works or volunteers at the Friendship House has been nothing short of
amazing - they truly care about the community and about encouraging others to give
back. I am so grateful to have played a small part in their efforts over the past few years!

26
 18. Maria Rivera

I have had the pleasure of working alongside Maria these past few weeks. When I
walk into the Clothing Bank, I anxiously look around to see if she is there that day. Maria
has made me feel welcome, and I greatly enjoy her company. As I got to know her, I
realized her story was one of struggles and triumphs, a journey worth sharing. Nothing
compares to speaking with Maria about her life, and I hope this narrative can do it even
a little of the justice it deserves.
Maria has two adorable boys, Ethan (12) and Nathan (9). She has been away from
them for years, as she served time in jail. She struggled with sobriety, and drinking lead
her down a path of dealing. These experiences at home were hard to avoid, and Maria
needed a change of pace to jump-start her strength.
When I was sorting clothes with Maria, hearing about her past, my respect for
her continued to grow. She cares deeply for her sons (who were tired after just a day at
the Clothing Bank with their mom). Maria has been strong, sober, hardworking, and has
persevered through hard times.
In November 2016, she started working at Friendship House’s Clothing Bank of
Delaware. Maria said at Friendship House “they didn't judge me,” they “gave me the
opportunity to get a job, [...a] wonderful feeling,” “they were there for me,” and they
“put me in the right direction when I was thinking of doing the wrong thing again.” She
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remembers when things felt like they were going wrong, and her habits of drinking
seemed easier than sobriety. Maria’s roommate, Stephanie Rspinni, gave her Bill Perkins
number, and he “did not hesitate” to help. She is thankful to Bill, Ms. Kathy, Ms. Eileen,
Ms. Lynn, Ms. Joanne, and the entire Friendship House staff for not just giving financial
support, but emotional support as well. She feels she would not be where she is today
without them.
As Maria shared her story, I heard the word grateful too many times to count.
She is grateful for her job, and enjoys working here, for she says it keeps her “busy,
happy, [...] and comfortable. It makes [her] day.” She is grateful for the staff and the
open mindedness of the organization. She is grateful for all of the lessons and support in
Empower Hour, and for all that she has learned from Friendship House.
She shared her experiences with me trying to hold back tears. She felt
Friendship House did so much for her that she had to thank them by sharing with
everyone what it has done for her life. I hope she realizes that she has touched the
hearts of all the Friendship House employees that she is so grateful for. We all love her
here, and we are so proud and amazed by all that she does.

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 19. Pat Saunders

Karen Johnson asked me to shadow her as a volunteer receptionist for the

Women's Center, one part of Friendship House, almost 10 years ago. She wanted
someone to substitute for her when family obligations kept her from fulfilling her duties
there. Soon, I had an assignment of my own, and I have been volunteering there ever
since. There have been changes throughout the years. It is now called the Wilmington
Empowerment Center, the name has changed, and we serve men as well as women.
There is much more automation, everything is computerized, so in these respects,
things are different than when I came, but some things have remained the same.
When I first got there, I was struck by the enormity of the need of the people
who come. They need IDs, birth certificates, a place to live, food, clothing, toiletries,
reuniting with family members, and the list goes on. When I first came, I had this mad
urge to make it all right for whomever came. By my second time of volunteering, I had
begun to recognize that fixing things for people was beyond my capability. Even now, it
frustrates me that I am not able to help. I must remember my role!
The job of the receptionist at the Center is to welcome people. She buzzes people
in, signs them in, asks what help they need, and tries to make them feel welcome. I

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often have to remind myself that there is very little that I can do to help except the tasks
that are assigned to me.
The receptionist can get mail for clients. Many clients use the Center as their
address. She can dial phone calls for those who need that, send faxes, and answer the
phone when it rings. She keeps order in the waiting room and makes sure that the
guests follow the rules, so that everyone is comfortable. Most days, it is easy...
Through the years, I have joined in the rejoicing of clients who have made great
strides. I have cried over loss, whether in self-worth or death. I have seen clients come
and go, depending on the circumstances. Loss is always hard, and it is not an easy lesson
to leave it all there. Maybe someday I'll really learn to do that. The staff and volunteers
are there to help those who walk through those doors that day. We all try to do the best
we can each day. The volunteer has a job to do. That job has restrictions. One must
never forget that, but it has rewards that far outnumber the restrictions. I have many
friends among this community; I treasure each and every one!
One lesson I have learned for sure. I do not take my comfortable home for
granted, the food I eat, or the clothes I wear. No one is guaranteed the niceties of life.
But everyone is entitled to be treated with respect and dignity. The volunteer
receptionist at the Wilmington Empowerment Center can give that. I am proud to be
one of these volunteers.

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 20. Silas Harrison

“That man saved my life” said Silas as we spoke about Bill Perkins. Silas was living
on the street under a bridge when he met Bill at Saints Andrew and Matthew Episcopal
Church during a Sunday Breakfast over four years ago. Silas knows from experience that
it is hard to trust people, but as Bill has shown everyone at Friendship House, some
people are truly good and caring. Bill introduced himself, asked Silas about his story, and
they began talking. Silas started going regularly to Sunday Breakfasts, enjoying the
conversations he had. Silas found some refuge in a men’s shelter as he started working
towards his GED, and Bill talked to him and got him involved in Friendship House. Silas
would come to the Wilmington Day Center and Winter Sanctuary Program to and study
with the Friendship House resources, talking to Bill regularly. Silas said Bill approached
him and said, “I know you’re not working, why don’t you let Friendship House help you
pay for your GED?” Bill encouraged Silas to interview for a spot at Andrew’s Place, and
Silas liked the idea of making his church his home.
“Since Friendship House, I got my GED diploma, [and] I have one semester down
in college with straight As.” Silas also received the 2017 Adult Education Award from Del
Tech, and attended a luncheon with senators where he had the opportunity to give a
speech to around 800 people. Silas got a job at the University of delaware and is starting
night school to study human services. He was inspired by Josh, Paul, Joe, and Pam, and
he wants to take a career path to help people like they do every day, like they did for
him. “Friendship House saved my life, really,” Silas repeated after we talked. He says he
has all of his counseling experience, and now he just needs the degree to match. We are
all proud and excited for what Silas will do in the future.

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 21. Tom Parkins

I am Tom Parkins. I grew up in Newark. I spent 30 years with the Army and the
Delaware National Guard. I retired after 42 years of teaching science at St. Mark's High
School. And I attend Calvary Baptist Church in Newark. This is my story....
Each December we would take a family trip to see the Christmas lights of
Philadelphia. We were walking up Market St. on the return to the train station. A
homeless man was on the curb and stood up and says, “Hey bud, you gotta buck?” I
brushed him off saying that I'd catch him on the way back, knowing full well that I would
not pass by him again. Then my young son then says to me, “but Dad, I thought Jesus
says we should give to the poor.” I did not sleep well that night, I had failed my son, but
more importantly, I failed God. I failed to live my faith. That day was over 30 years ago
and it was a game changer. It started a journey towards ministering to the poor.
Let's fast forward to a hot August day 12 years ago. A small group of us was were
meeting because we were concerned with what we saw in Newark, homeless people
sleeping on the steps of the churches. They would occasionally ask for some help for
food or lodging, and they mostly got brushed off, but some folks would reach in a
pocket or take them to Burger King. For well over a year we had meetings to explore
different ideas, and look at different models. We were stumped, and it seemed that
nothing would work.
Bill Perkins came to one of our meetings, and immediately I knew that things
would be different. Bill impressed me as a man living his faith. I knew that he was a
humble man who walked the talk. When I listened to him I was inspired to think what

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could be done in Newark and what I could do myself. Out of that meeting came the
birth of the Newark Empowerment Center and Code Purple Newark.
Bill, Kim Eppehimer, Marc Marcus and many others have taught me much as a
volunteer, and they still continue to inspire. I feel like a disciple, learning the ways of
working with the homeless and needy, but also sharing those lessons with others
around me. I try to encourage others to step in and give themselves to help the poor.
I especially enjoy working Code Purple in Newark and working individually with
clients. I enjoy meeting with our homeless friends over breakfast to gain insight into
their lives and their needs and acting to help them over the speed bumps in life. The
most memorable Code Purple events have been the blizzards when we open up our
church for the duration of the storm. We usually spend about 3 days in the church. The
guests are real good about helping out, shoveling snow and cleaning up. I am always
amazed by the number of volunteers, who fix food or show up to help out.
At Christmas I felt that Mary and Joseph were “homeless” and so we needed to
do something for our homeless community. We now host Code Purple Christmas
regardless of temperature. At 4PM Christmas Eve we open the doors with a huge feast,
followed by Christmas worship with our congregation. Overnight in the fellowship hall
we have a fine Christmas morning breakfast. And my favorite part is a visit from Santa
with a few goodies for our guests. After lunch and packing a meal to go, it's departure.
The Newark community has been terrific in their support.
I also get to mix a passion of mine with serving the poor. I enjoy barbecuing and
grilling. So we host picnics on 4th of July and Labor Day. These are festive events with
lots of good food. Our end of summer Labor Day picnic also includes a clothing
distribution. (Aug 27 this year). Last year we added the “Great Thanksgiving Leftover
Feast” on Black Friday. One of our homeless friends said, “Mr. Tom, Thanksgiving is
about family, and you guys are our family. We need to get together.”
So I thank Friendship House for the opportunity it has given me to get together
with the homeless and needy. And I thank Bill Perkins and Marc Marcus for being the
inspiration and for mentoring me in my efforts. I pray that God continues to bless
Friendship House and their work. And I'm excited about Kim and her leadership. There
are greater things still to come.
As my friend said “...we need to get together.”

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 22. Sarah Wheatley

I have been blessed to be a part of Friendship House for the past two summers. I
have been welcomed and felt like a part of this wonderful team from the first day I
came here to volunteer. In my time with Kim, Carly, and Lashea I see generous and
knowledgeable people with a good heart to serve wherever and however they are
needed.
Through my time, my eyes have been opened to the needs in our community. As
a teacher, being here gave me a perspective into the lives of some of my students (and
their families) that I work with during the school year. I have also been made aware of
how many things I take for granted in my own life, from my home to transportation to
food to eat every day. I am truly thankful for the opportunity I have had to work with
these amazing ladies and help where I can in my community.

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 23. Kathy Mowczan

My task at Friendship House is a simple one. Every other week, I take a few of the
women from Epiphany House grocery shopping at a local supermarket. It is a humbling
act. I have taken women with babies, young ladies who have not shopped alone before,
others that have not been in a supermarket in a long time, most seem like friends or
family.
Part of witnessing to Christ is in showing up. I witness these courageous women
rebuild their lives with dignity and grace. It is blessing in my life that I am able to
contribute in this small way.

35
 24. Carly Wilt

Since childhood, I have always had a passion for helping those who seem
hopeless and downtrodden. I remember walking down main street in Newark with my
mom and seeing these kind of hardened faces staring back at me from their place “the
wall”—a favorite spot for many clients of the Newark Empowerment Center—and
realizing for the first time that I was one of the only people looking back at them. Most
of my fellow shoppers, walkers, and hurried students were just walking by them without
paying them any mind. Not the slightest smile, or “hello.” Nothing. Even as a child, this
was really concerning to me. I felt as though these people were not being treated as
people should be. This conviction followed me throughout the remainder of my
childhood and into adulthood and left me with a desire to really appreciate life and the
life inside of every human being I came in contact with.
So began my journey to Friendship House. When it came time to complete my 50
hour field placement as a Human Services major at the University of Delaware, I
expressed that particular experience and the passion it had evoked in me to my adviser
and she responded with, “I have the perfect placement for you!” I began working at the
Newark Empowerment Center a few months later. I remember being incredibly nervous
about actually working face to face with these people whom I had never interacted with
before, only seen on the street, because I had no idea how I was supposed to interact
with them! Now, looking back, it seems silly to me that I would have been nervous
because during my internship, and now 2 years of experience as an employee of
Friendship House, these faces I had seen have now become real people with names,
stories, hurts, and successes. Some of them, I would say, have even become like friends!
36
 Friendship House has really come to mean just that to me: friendship, family,
community, and support. It has taught me the importance of EVERY human life to its
Creator. Not only have I found a certain sense of community and joy in walking with
clients, hearing their stories, and witnessing both their failures and successes, but I have
also found friendship and community within my fellow staff members and some of our
volunteers and interns as well. This job came along right when I needed it. I believe it
has been my first “big girl job” and introduction into the “real world.” My first
experience in this big, bad world after college has been one of such grace, compassion,
patience, and tenderness, and I am incredibly grateful for it! I have grown up here. I
believe Friendship House has and will continue to prepare and push me toward
whatever God has for me to do as I continue on this journey with Him.

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 25. Donna Johnson

My story is truly one of hope, faith, love, support, prayer, and a miracle. Five
years ago, my life was a train wreck. The grace of God landed me on the doorsteps of
Friendship House (FH), which changed my life. With the help of the staff I was able to
build the foundation that would support me for the journey I was about to take. I
remained clean and sober, became employed, gained self-confidence, earned my GED,
rebuilt my relationships with my family, and started attending Delaware Technical
Community College.
After I graduated from FH, the staff remained my biggest support system. They
were always there for me whether it was in laughter or tears. With only two semesters
until graduation from Del. Tech., I came into some difficulties with my living situation. I
was so blessed that Marcy opened her doors to me once again to enable me to
complete school.
In my last semester (Thanksgiving night), I found a lump on the side of my neck
that was diagnosed as Stage 4 throat cancer. Now I began a physical and emotional
rollercoaster ride that, through God’s grace, everyone went on with me. The next month
and a half was crazy. I was taking two classes, doing my internship, working and
traveling back and forth to Fox Chase Cancer Center in Philadelphia, PA. I was blessed
that when my professors heard what was happening they allowed me to work at my
own pace. This allowed me to complete my classes and my internship before treatment
started.

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 The first month and a half of this journey was figuring out what type of cancer I
had and how to treat it. There were several CAT scans, PET scans, a Laryngoscopy, and
Biopsies done. The results of the test resulted in a new diagnosis and treatment. It
started with the mildest type of cancer I could have to the worst type. The first
treatment was two major surgeries with radiation and chemotherapy; that changed to
taking a trial drug along with radiation and chemo because the cancer had spread, and
surgery was no longer an option. This was a very emotional time and I was so grateful
for the support from everyone at Friendship House.
The first two weeks of treatment were tough, because I had a mega dose of
chemo and was having radiation every day (twice on Friday). For the first five weeks, I
was able to drive myself to Philly, but that was about all I could do. The chemo made me
sick and the radiation was building in my system causing a lot of fatigue. I did manage to
attend my graduation with Marcy and Mary Ann by my side. I was then given the second
mega dose of chemo and that is when things went very bad. We realized that the cancer
was not responding to treatment, in fact it had mutated and was growing. I was told
that we would continue treatment, but that I probably only had a year to live. I was so
blessed with a group of prayer warriors from Friendship House that gave me the faith to
move forward.
At this point, I was no longer able to drive myself to the cancer center. Without a
second thought, Bill and Marcy and two FH Board members began to drive me every
day. They were so humbling that they made me feel as if I were doing them a favor. On
one trip with Bill and me, I was so sick I could not stay conscious. Bill stayed by my side
for hours while they stabilized me and I was admitted to the hospital. Only a few hours
from then Marcy and Mary Ann drove up to make sure I was okay. When I was
released, the daily treatments began again.
When the treatments ended, I was in the worst shape of all. My throat continued
to blister on the inside and out. Everyone at the house continued to care for me. They
came several times a day to check on me, bringing me support and smoothies. I am
getting better every day, but could never have gotten through this journey without
Friendship House. They have supported me spiritually, physically, financially, and in any
other way they could. Thank you will never be enough for what they have done in my
life. I am forever in your debt.
On July 18, 2017, I received the best possible news: I am cancer free! Miracles
really do happen. Thanks be to God.

39
 26. Richard Waibel

About twelve years ago, Tom Parkins and I undertook the task of providing an
outreach for Newark homeless and people in need. We were joined by people from
several community faith groups involved with social outreach. Several years before,
many of us had worked together to support and fund the building of Habitat for
Humanity homes, so we were not all strangers coming together. For many months, we
would meet and discuss ideas and approaches, but found barriers all along the way. We
continued to work on possibilities and learn from our experiences.

A few of the lessons learned included:

Many people in the community did not recognize there was a need. Some people
supported doing something, but there was a “fear factor” and a concern that whatever
is provided not be in their backyard. There was a concern that if anything be done, the
community would become a magnet for the homeless and make the problem worse. It
was recognized that there would be an ongoing cost of operation that needed
community support.
What evolved was a relationship with Friendship House thanks to the care and
compassion shown by both Bill Perkins and Marc Marcus. The concept for the Newark
Empowerment Center was developed and supported by several community faith
groups.
From very limited beginnings, the Empowerment Center and the Code Purple
Sanctuary has continued to grow, responding with a hand-up not a hand-out approach
for the homeless and people in need. The community support, faith group participation,

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other community groups such as the Newark Welfare Committee, service groups, and
schools have responded and supported the effort. A huge thank you goes to the many
volunteers who help every day at the Empowerment Center and the Code Purple nights.
While not every client is necessarily a success story, there are many success
stories nothing short of a miracle. Lives have been changed and saved.
I am personally and forever grateful to Bill Perkins, Marc Marcus, the Friendship
House staff and professionals, the faith groups and community organizations, and the
many volunteers who make this Newark outreach possible.

41
 27. Mary Anne Matarese

Today a resident thanked me for the part I played in her recovery. It was a
humbling moment like many I experience in my work at Friendship House. The
truth about my ministry here is best summed up in the saying: "I'm just glad I was in the
room when God showed up to do great things." God does great things every day. I am
grateful.

But there are also struggles and sorrows that make up our days. Most difficult is
learning of a resident's or former resident's relapse. To witness someone fall back into
the grips of addiction is heartbreaking; the suffering and death almost unbearable. It
might lead to despair except for a truth I learned along the way: we are sower of seeds,
not the Savior.
The story goes something like this: when women or men are successful we
rejoice. Still, we remember lots of other folks who contributed to that success. Many
planted good seeds before us. We are blessed to be there for the harvest. When
residents fail by relapse or anything else, we remember we have planted good seeds.
We pray that someone somewhere else will be blessed to see the harvest.
Our call, then, is not to be successful but faithful. I thank God for my small part in
the 30 year history of Friendship House. I am blessed. I pray to be faithful. Happy
anniversary Friendship House family. Let's pray for each other.

42
 28. Karen Rogalsky

I grew up in a family that helped people. We sang Christmas Carols at nursing

homes, packaged meals for shut-ins, and brought Christmas shoe boxes to homeless
shelters. About five years ago, when my church announced there was a need for people
to cook dinner for Epiphany house, I did not hesitate to sign up. For years after, my
mom and I would cook together once every few months, and I really enjoyed feeling like
I was doing something to help these women who were doing such hard work to build
their lives, and to show them that I cared about their success.
About three years ago, I was at a Women’s dinner at my church and there were
women in the transitional housing program, as well as graduates, speaking and sharing
their stories with us. One women spoke about her daughter, and how she was hoping to
regain custody of her by the time the following school year started. In that moment, I
was struck with a single thought, and it was that I wanted to make sure her little girl had
everything she needed to start the school year. Her mother was struggling to get her life
back on track, and I knew this was something I could do to help. I contacted the
transitional housing program and asked a caseworker about her, and also learned of
another mom in the program that had been in the case worker’s office just the day
before, crying that she didn’t know how she was going to purchase everything on her
son’s back-to-school supply list. Without hesitating, I asked the case worker to get me
lists for all the children of the women in the program, and I’d see what I could do.

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 I reached out to my friends from my children’s preschool and told them about
the need. As I had hoped, they all wanted to help. That year, and every year since, with
the help of my community of friends, we have been able to supply all the children in the
transitional housing program with backpacks, needed school supplies, and in some
cases, gift cards to buy school uniforms. There are usually more supplies donated than
that program can use, so I end up making a trip to the day center to share the overflow
with them.
I hope to be able to contribute in this way every year, and I know many of my
friends who look forward to helping as well. I am in awe of the work the individuals in
transitional housing are doing to create better lives for themselves and their families,
and heartened to know I have friends who feel the same way and are always willing to
help out when I share a need.

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 29. Shirley Pritchett

I started working at Friendship House on February 13, 2000. At that time,

Epiphany House was located at Fourth and Rodney Street (1411 W. 4th Street) and we
were renting. A lot has changed since then.
Unlike now, most of the residents at that time were women who were homeless
because of economic reasons or domestic violence; only a few came from drug and
alcohol rehabilitation programs.
In 2000, Marcy Perkins was the Director of Women’s Ministry, which included the
Women’s Day Center, the Clothing Bank of Delaware, and three women’s transitional
housing properties. Now, the Clothing Bank has its own ministry director. The Men’s and
Women’s Day Centers have been combined into the Wilmington Empowerment Center,
and we have added Empowerment Centers in Newark, Middletown, and Mill Creek.
My how things have changed.
Currently, we have six women’s houses. In 2000, we had three, renting one.
Now we own all of them. In 2000, we owned two men’s houses out of three. Today we
have six houses for men, including the first Friendship House site outside the city of
Wilmington (Corner House).
As I look back over the time I have been at Friendship House, I see the hand of
God at work in the Housing Program and in the lives of the women who passed through

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the program. Starting in 2004, events leading up to the addition of each house have
been a marvel to me.
My years with Friendship House have been a bitter/sweet experience.
Bitter/sweet because of the women I have encountered there: women who continue to
live clean and sober lives; women who continue to struggle with addiction; those who
have died being addicted; and those who have died from the damage which addiction
had done to their bodies.
I also think of the times we have had to ask women to leave the Housing Program
for one reason or another. Some have gone on to improve their lives while others have
not. There are always interesting circumstances surrounding the issue of asking a
woman to vacate the program. Some circumstances are heart wrenching, and some are
very surprising–almost funny–but these times are always memorable. You just do not
forget them.
Lasting memories are often created at the dinner table. The women will let their
hair down (so to speak), be themselves, and share some of the interesting moments in
their lives. Then there are the private moments when we get serious about what is
ahead for them. As I interact with the women, lo and behold, I am learning things about
myself also.
The Housing Program is constantly changing to meet the needs of the individuals
who enter into partnership with the program. If an element is no longer working, it is
deleted or adjusted to accomplish what the program anticipates. Even though changes
may be made to the program, each participant must put in the necessary work to see
the change in themselves and in their lives as they make progress toward getting their
own lives back on track.
This is the partnership that the Housing Program has with each individual that
enters. We owe it to each resident to do our best so that they can get the best from the
program.

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 30. Bill Perkins

THE WINK OF AN EYE! That's how fast these seventy years of life, fifty years of
ministry, and thirty years as executive director of Friendship House have gone. It all
seems like it was just yesterday that I was playing in the back yard with my brothers and
sisters, or having a last cup of coffee with Dad before I left home to become a Jesuit, or
saying "I do" as I married Marcy, or accepting the challenge to make the Friendship
House vision a reality.
Sometimes that journey has felt like life is one long letting go of pieces of your
heart (family members, friends, pets, and places) and seasons of your life (a wonderful
childhood in Maryland, twenty-three years as a Jesuit priest and missionary, and now
thirty years as the director of Friendship House).
The older you get, the more precious every day and every life becomes. It forces
you to remember that everything is a gift from God that you have for a season, but
which ultimately must be surrendered back to the Giver with interest. Life is too short
for anger or envy or regrets. The only thing that you never lose and Death cannot touch
are the moments when you have loved or have been loved. They live forever. They are
as alive in my life today as the moment that they were given.
If the last seventy years have passed in the wink of an eye, it is also just as brief a
time before we are all together again forever in a moment of love and joy that will never
end. I love you all and feel incredibly privileged that God blessed me to be a part of your
lives.
As I begin the next season of my life, I feel incredibly blessed that I am
surrounded by friends and am blessed with Marcy as my wife. I am also grateful that
God has given us a new generation of servants to keep the Friendship House vision alive.
In Kim Eppehimer, we have a leader who will mold our wonderful staff and volunteers

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into a team with a single vision and purpose. In our dedicated staff, we have people who
walk the walk and give flesh to the Friendship House dream.
I hope to be a part of Friendship House for many years to come -- whether it's
serving Sunday Breakfast or staffing winter sanctuary or being that extra set of hands to
make a burden easier to bear.
God Bless You ALL and Thank You for your love on my birthday.

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