CHRONICLES

OF
GAMAHILLARY
POETIC AFFILIATED

GAMAHILLARY
TABLE OF
CONTENTS
1ACKNOLEDGEMENTS

2 IDENTITY CRISIS
3 CAMOUFLAGE
4 FUTURE OF MY PAST

6 FADING MEMORIES

7 LOVE COMES AGAIN

9 THE SAD PART

10 OPEN YOUR EYES

12 HOPE

13 VISIONS OF YESTERDAY

14 TWO SIDES OF LIFE

15 THE PAIN

16 RESPECT WOMEN

18 OLD AGE

19 MIND FLEX
20 KARMA

21 INVISIBLE

23 IMMINENT CHANGE

25 HOPEFUL

26 FORBIDDEN FRUIT

27 DO YOU KNOW IT

29 COUNTERFEIT DREAMS

31 ART ODF LIVING

33 THANKS

34 BLANK PAGE
I AM THANKFUL FIRST TO GOD, THEN MY
MOTHER WHO TAUGHT ME ANYTHING IS
POSSIBLE AND WITH THAT I CAN DREAM AND
SPREAD MY WINGS. THE WORDS I WRITE ARE
A TESTAMENT THAT WORDS CAN MOVE
MOUNTAINS AND WITH JUST WORDS I CAN
REACH THE FOUR CORNERS OF THE WORLD.

MY LITTLE SISTER WHO WAS THE FIRST TO

READ AND CRITIQUE ME MADE IT A
CHALLENGE BUT A FUN EXPERIENCE, I HOPE
YOU RECEIVE THESE WORD AND THEY MAKE
YOU FEEL, REMENASE AND DREAM LIKE I DID.
Identity crisis

Future of an unknown past

Consequences of related guilt
Window to a parallel universe
Emotions of unknown origin
Visions of an unforeseen future
Fear of unknown elements
Justice for the voiceless
Freedom to the chained
Taste of greener pastures
Unconditional love
Sins of the past
Who do we think we are?
Are we sons and daughters of men?
Are we even humans anymore?
Controlled by fear
Governed by greed
Running from the truth

Our identity is lost

How are we the superior species?
Are we hopeless?
Are we the cause of global warming?
Are we fighting meaningless wars?
Is our fate inevitable?
Are we going to be the end of human kind?
It is time we found our identity
Take charge of our future
Make peace within ourselves
Create a better tomorrow
Stop the fighting
Help each other
Stop being greedy
Stop being corrupt
Let's mend our ways
This all starts with the man in the mirror
All of us united

2
Camouflage

I am in front of you
Standing in the crowd
I just want u to see me
Am I invisible?
Or maybe you don't recognize me
Is it that I am trying too hard?
Can't you just look my way?
For once

Just a glimpse my way

Maybe I am in camouflage
So into you that i am now familiar
So lost in you i am like an imagination
So obsessed with your beauty i am fading away
So in love i am lost in translation
Maybe camouflage is where I belong
Slowly I go back into the shadows
With one wish
That one day u will notice me
Hope you finally see through my camouflage

3
Future of my past

Did I do something wrong

Did I make a mistake?
Did I miss my opportunity?
Did I trust the wrong people?
Did I cause a lot of pain?
Did I force my way through

Was I heartless?
Was I misguided?
Was I cruel?
Was I misinterpreted?
Was I wrong?

Am I being punished?
Am I stuck on yesterday?
Am I remorseful?
Am I doing it right?
Am I forgiving?
Am I without a soul?

Day by day I ask myself these questions

Here I am alone
Feeling courageous
I wonder if I was too ambitious
But I am with no regrets
Where I am is great
With no apologies

4
I am stronger without the rest of you
Now I know who my real friends are
I sleep peaceful at night
Life is hard
Surround Yosef with people that love you
Then life will not be as hard

5
Fading memories

Seems like yesterday I was young

With an innocent mind I stood tall
I was observant of things around me
With crazy friends we had adventures
Memories of a past but yet so vivid
I remember the good old days
I remember my first crush
I was in grade seven
She was a new comer
She had that smile that made you want to smile too
The way she moved was so elegant
She the one that got away
I remember I was playing with my friends
That day I slipped and stepped on glass
It cut so deep I went to hospital
I had at least six stitches on my foot
I remember my mother was so worried
My Aunt was terrified
I still have the scar to show for it
I remember the windows we broke
While we played cricket
The tennis balls that got lost in hedges
Childhood was a good time
We used to be outdoors more
We were more active than today's kids
Fading memories are worth holding onto

6
Love comes again

Love can end

Just as Leaves turn yellow
And grass turns brown
As Color fades
And People lie
Heartbreak is hard
As fruits lose flavor
And death brings sorrow
Just as love can end
It can begin again with more passion
And New leaves shoot out of branches
Grass can be green again
As color can be
And some people are trustworthy
Just as death brings sorrow
New born brings joy
Just as love is for the unloved
Happiness is for the heartbroken
Treatment is for the sick
Food is for the hungry
Warmth is for the cold
Water for the thirsty
Clothes for the naked
Having a heartbreak or
Losing love is not the end of the world
Just that a new and better love is around the corner
If you are not appreciated don't hesitate to move on
Love comes again
Better than the last

7
Love is kind
Love is pure
Love is patient
You don't have to fight for love
Let love fight for you
Just enjoy the fruits of love
Be happy and love wholeheartedly

8
The sad part

Moment of truth has come

The silver lining has vanished
Greener pastures have turned brown
Love songs have become a cliché
Roses leave scars on my hands
Confusion has become clarity to me
Fights are how we communicate
Compromise has taken over our lives
Good or bad is now a blur
From the outside we look perfect
Perfection has its own price
Destruction is the next logical thing
I scream so loud in my head

The sad part is this

We know we heading for the cliff
We know what to do
We have a great bond
We love each other so
We have been through worse
We are stronger together
Are we going to let this be the end of us?

9
Open your eyes

Open your eyes

What do you see?
Are those people dying of starvation
Is that ignorance I see?
Is that corruption everywhere?
Is the death toll rising each day?
Open your eyes
Open your eyes
See the violence
See the greed
See a world of pain
See disruption
Open your eyes
Do you see me?
Do you see yourself?
Do you see the mirror?
Do you see change?
Please open your eyes
Are you just standing by?
Are you helping someone?
Are you causing this?
Are you doing anything?
Are your eyes open?
Or are they still closed
If you are not helping
Then what use are you to mankind
Your existence is a lie
If you don't help
You are better off dead

10
Soon you will be a figment of our imagination
If your eyes are open
Welcome to a better future
Change is just a word
With you it will be a revolution
Let's open our eyes
Help build a better tomorrow
Hope begins with you

11
Hope

Everything I am is because of hope

Everything I do is because of hope
Everything I feel is because of hope
Everything I dream of is because of hope
Everything I desire is because of hope
Everything I want is because of hope
I am a child of an African beautiful lady
I do for actions speak louder than words
I feel because it’s amazing
I dream for a better tomorrow
I desire to have wisdom
I want to be free
Fueled by my emotions
Unaware of my surroundings
Thirsting for love
Striving for more
Fighting my demons
I only have hope.......
Hopelessly hopeful that hope will be my salvation

12
Visions of yesterday

I see my first kiss

I see my first love
I see my first time
I see my first betrayal
I see my first heartbreak
I feel my first regret
I feel my first anger
I feel my first guilt
I feel my first punch
I feel my first doubt
I have loved
I have been betrayed
I have felt pain
I have seen beauty
I have been lonely
I have been back stabbed
These are my visions of yesterday
I now wonder what tomorrow bring
I long for true love
I long for trust
I long for lustful kisses
I long for tomorrow

13
Two sides of life

Light goes with darkness

Joy goes with hurt
Smile goes with frown
Laughter goes with crying
Life goes with death
Wealth goes with poverty
Trust goes with dishonest
Love goes with heartbreak
Marriage goes with divorce
Peace goes with violence
Good goes with bad
Wright goes with wrong
For everything there are two sides
In despair choose light
In desperation choose wright
In life choose love
In relationship choose trust
In chaos choose peace
In trying times choose smile
After loss choose laughter
In evil choose good
Though with flaws we are perfect
Students of life
Lessons we learn each day
Choose life
Choose marriage
Choose joy

14
The pain

I feel something in my chest

It grows so slow yet so hard
Tears run down my cheeks
My body acting on its own accord
My body so numb I can't feel anything
What is happening to me?
Am I going insane?
Should I see a doctor?
Conflicted I feel the hot tears on my cheeks
This pain I feel has scars so big
It’s like I am fighting a lost war

15
Respect women

They looked happy

They had everything
They were blessed with a kid
They loved their daughter
Until he lost his job
He lost his senses
He started drinking
He lost control
The first time she told herself it was an accident
So she put make up over it
Then the second time she blamed herself
So she lied about it
As time went by
She started to believe she deserved it
So she made excuses for him
Until their daughter saw him hit her
She stood in front of his dad
She closed her eyes trying to protect her mother
Her mother realized she had to go
When she came here she was happy
Now she was surviving
When she came here she used to smile
Now she had no teeth to smile will
Stop the violence
Stop the abuse
Don't be worse than animals
If he hits you he does not love you
Get help today
You are of royalty

16
You deserve better
Teach your daughters to fight back
Not hold back

17
Old age

I want to grow old

I want to be wiser
I want to have silver hair
I want to see my grandchildren’s kids
I want to have a wrinkled smile
I want to grow old with you
Spend the days in the sun with you
Dance slowly with you
Kiss you like we were young
Make love like we were in out 20's
Sit and think back to our younger years
Old is accomplishment
Old is resting
Old is relief
Old is knowledge
Old is beautiful
Old is memories
Old is like a dream
With age we realize our mistakes
With age we see truth
With age comes understanding
With age we grow wiser
With age we develop
With age time seems irrelevant
Let's grow old together
Share memories together
Tell stories of the past to our grandchildren

18
Mind flex

The world is crumbling

Pain is all I feel
Disappointment is all I see
Dreams became nightmares
Fear becomes a way of life
Stress a daily dosage
Happiness far from reach
Struggle make you see in high definition
You see who loves you, who hates you
Haters are people who envy what you have accomplished
The more haters you have, the more successful you become
Through this bumpy road
You get to appreciate the little things in life
Though you succeed know you didn't do it alone
I have this melody in my head
It’s so sad I cry each time I play it
It’s so deep I wish I could share
Circumstances make you wiser
Age gives you experience
Friends give you perspective
Parents share their wisdom
The world is just that a planet
Mystery has its own price
Love has its heartaches
Truth has its consequences
Families have their differences
Life is not fair to the ungrateful
Trust is the forbidden fruit
The mind is the downfall of man

19
Karma

Enticing people with your charm

Seducing them to do your will
Inspiring to the better half
Cruel to the other half
Everyone a pawn to your desire
Elegance is how you operate
With ease you corrupt
Then reward for doing nothing
Your intentions are known by you alone
Patience is your virtue
You come unexpected
Yet you leave wreckages
Just like a woman
You seduce, conquer and destroy
Your name so beautiful
But what you stand for is far worst
You remind us that for every action there are consequences
Either good or bad
No matter how good we are for every little mistake
You have a response
Not to add insult but now I know why the saying goes
Karma is a b***h

20
Invisible

I had no name
I was unknown
I did not exist
I was lonely
I yearned for company
In a room full of people
I was invisible
People could throw stones at me
And feel nothing because they did not see me
Mosquitoes could not bite me
They too could not see me
I could be laughing
But no one knew
I could be crying
But no one would know
I had no fear
Even dogs did not bark at me
It is as if I was not there
Then one day the mosquitoes bite me
The dog almost bite me
The stones where thrown at me on purpose
I laughed with everyone
I felt pain
I could fall and people could see me
Some would laugh or help me up
Finally I was visible
All this happened because you saw me

21
I would go through pain with you
I would be with you in good and bad times
I would make sure you stay visible
I would be yours like you are mine
In my world you will always be visible, relevant and loved

22
Imminent change

I feel the pain of thousand souls

My heart breaks for the pain felt across the globe
I cry for the mothers who lose their children to crime
My shoulders so heavy carrying everyone on my back
Kids losing their parents so young
I feel pain of mothers who can't conceive
I scream for the hate that is everywhere
Racism destroying hope
I like Martin Luther share a dream
With mind of Gandhi I pray for peace
I wish like Mandela that there is no discrimination
I fight like Mqabuko for unity
The world in shreds can't we get along
War was here still here but has solved nothing
Bloodshed all around us
In the words of 2pac I see no changes
We have descended to be the worst of humanity
I speak without a voice
Let my words be a stamp in your heart
We as humans should be as one
Haven't we learned from the past?
We owe the generation of tomorrow to at least try
Everyone has a responsibility
Let us face the truth
See how destructive we are
There is no balance anymore evil is taking over
Be the first to change
Let's not go down in history as the ones who destroyed our planet

23
Starting today one by one let's change for the better
Let a nobody say to someone that change is inevitable
I can be a nobody but you can be a somebody
Let's treat hate, racism, discrimination, corruption as a disease
Fortunately the cure is love
And everyone is capable of giving it
Be part of the revolution
Say no to sexual abuse, to endangering human kind
You can be the first in many to change destiny
Help humans have hope
Like Titanic we are heading for disaster
Unless we change for the better

24
Hopeful

I see clouds moving apart

I see bright colors everywhere
Luck if dangling at my feet
Birds chipping a familiar melody
People around me seem happy
Now the sky is wide open
Blue is the color of the month
I met the same person twice
Even the animals sense it
Wat I have is contagious
For the first time in a while I am hopeful

25
Forbidden fruit

So close yet so far

Miles away but just a dream from reality
Eyes can’t see what the heart feels
Like a border a line keeps us apart
Forbidden is what we enjoy
Away from the eyes we long for
Distance is only seconds to us being together
Together a covenant we share
We scream our love to the world
But only in our hearts
This love of our is as pure but a secret to the world
When we touch nothing else matters
We have what the needs but can’t have
But in secret is where we reside
As told forbidden fruit is as good as a kept secret
From the shades we glow
From society we hide
From each other we will be forever

26
Do you know it?

Do you have it?

Can you see it?
Can you feel it?
Could you recognize it?
Everyone is searching for it
Everyone wants to have it
Everyone needs it
Some are born with it
Some have it around them
Some find it
Some wish they have it
Children have it in abundance
Some have it but don't want it
Some have it but don't know it
Some have it but don't understand it
Some have it and change for the good
Some have it and change for the worst
Some have it and are happy
Some take it for granted
When you lose it the pain is unbearable
It brings joy to everyone who has it
Though its touch is spiritual
Its presents is felt like its physical
How do we find it?
Does it have a secret hiding place
Does it have favorites?
How can we hold on to it?
Is it a plant we have to grow?
Is it air we need to breath?

27
Is it clothes we need to wear?
Is it fire we need to stay away from?
Its sightings have been seen around the world
So say it makes the world go around
I have found it
I have seen it
I feel it
I don't want to lose it
IT'S called. LOVE

28
COUNTERFEIT DREAMS

Counterfeit dreams keep me up at night

I dream i am stuck right where I am
Feeling like I would explode into pieces
My heart shattered into infinity pieces
I crave for a better tomorrow
Sleep deprived for months
I struggle to breathe so I suffocate
I feel myself being overcrowded
Hate chasing me everywhere
Friends stabbing my back like a shooting target
I don't know where to run to
I am enslaved by my own dreams and ambitions
Seeing a blurred future
I alone with my demons
I alone can fight these demons and I am powerless
Seeing double I am fighting shadows
What is left for me to do?

My other half stressed because of me

I feel her pain and feel am not worthy
Could this be karma?
Sins of the generation unknown to me
World on my shoulders
I move with a heavy heart
Burdened by the past mistakes I can't forget
I think I dug my own grave
Lord help because I see evil around me
Shot fired I feet them aiming for me
Should I duck or just pray for miracle

29
Weakened by these emotions
Should I be heartless to be great?
My thoughts cruising through my veins am an addict
Temptation knocking on my door
Stuck On empty Promises I fear for my future
Motionless I try to get up

Opportunities see me and run

I am chasing shadows trying to see a better tomorrow
In all this confusion I wake up
Counterfeit dreams got me sweating

30
Art of living

Lifeless emotions
Blind faith
Love without bounds
Kisses without end
Fairytale endings
Dream house
Hopeless romantics
Muses and genies
Immortality
Life is simple
People just complicate it
Everyone dies in the end

Live like a star

You will shine bright
Live free
You will die with pieces of mind
Live by drugs
You will die horrible
Live like a king
You will die a common death
Live happy
You will die without regret
Live of sorrow
You will rest in the end
Live rich
You will die poor
Live poor
You will die rich

31
Live like today is your first
And learn new things
Live like today is your last
And love with no bounds
Live like today is your birthday
And celebrate with your friends
Live like today is your wedding night
And treat your wife like a queen
Live like today is your first time
And kiss with passion
Live like today is your first date
And enjoy with your boyfriend or girlfriend
Live like today is Valentine's Day
And be with the one you love
Live like today is a holiday
And relax with family
Live like today is mother's day
And appreciate what they have done for you
Live like today is father's day
And do something fun with them
Live like today is your day
And treat yourself to something special
Art of life is unknown to us
Life is like a riddle
Life is good
Life is bad
Life is everything
Without you there is no life

32
Thank you
for reading
stay tuned,
more to
come …..
Gamahillary©2020

33
34