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One of the most helpful truths for us to consider as parents is that our children are a stewardship. They are good
gifts from our Heavenly Father, given to us in order that we might “bring them up in the discipline and instruction
of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4b). We have been tasked, by the God of the universe, to train our precious children
according to His good commandments. This reality brings us hope and clarity in understanding that we have a
very specific task to do, but it can also bring a lot of fear and insecurity when we appreciate the full weight of our
task. Our greatest desire for ourselves is that we would lean heavily into the hope and clarity, while moving
completely away from any lurking fear and insecurity. We’ve put together five “helps” to get us started on doing
just that. We pray that you would join us on our journey of biblical parenting and we pray that these “helps” are a
blessing to you and your family as well!
1. TRAIN OURSELVES
It will be extremely difficult, if not impossible, for us to train our children effectively if we are not being diligent to
train ourselves. And even if we feel as though we are “pulling it off”, our children are bound to spot our hypocrisy
at some point in their lives and we will end up worse off then when we started. But do you ever feel like you have
all of the right desires, but you simply don’t know where to start? Here are a few areas of our life that we can all
look at to make sure we are appropriately setting the pace for biblical training in our homes.
Put first things first and we get second things thrown in: put second things first and we
lose both first and second things.
Learn how to talk to our kids about God and the Bible.
While I trust that we all agree on the importance of talking to our children about God and the Bible, I imagine that
we can also all agree on how difficult that can be. Where do we start? And how do we naturally bring these super
important things into our everyday conversations? One thing that has been a blessing to our family is continually
learning from other families! Even as this has become a natural activity in our home, we are always eager to look
for new and more helpful ways to do it. We pray that the following resources will be a huge blessing to you and
your family!
I am currently reading a book called Keeping Your Kids on God's Side by Natasha Crain. It's a great guide,
suggesting 40 different conversations to have with your children.
Here's a resource that guides our kids through biblical conversations, teaching them to make wise decisions
based completely on Scripture. View the Choose Wisely Cards.
2. ENCOURAGE QUESTIONS
If we’re a parent, we’re used to questions. So. Many. Questions. But some questions are more important than
others. That being said, some questions are much scarier than others! Questions about God and the Bible can be
daunting. It’s possible we won’t know the answer. It’s possible that our children won’t like or understand the
answer. But we need to make sure that our fear about the “what if’s” of our children’s questions doesn't keep us
from encouraging them to ask. For one, it’s a good thing for our children to see that dad and mom don’t know
everything. Our humility and honesty in the “I don’t know,” moments shows our children that we’re still learning
too and teaches them the gift of pastors and teachers to seek help from. And second, we need to be totally okay
with our children not liking some of what the Bible has to say. If we’re honest, sometimes we don’t like what it has
to say. But we uphold a high view of God and His Word when we maintain that all of Scripture is God-breathed
and, therefore, must be obeyed… like it or not. And when it comes to things they may not yet understand, we
love what Tedd Tripp says in Shepherding a Child’s Heart; “Give your children big truths they will grow into rather
than light explanations they will grow out of.” We need to show our children that we’re not afraid of their questions
because we are absolutely certain that God’s Word has the answer.
One final thought on this, when we encourage questions, we teach our children to think critically. And all we have
to do is look around to notice that we need more critical thinkers in the Church now than ever before. The culture
is going to do a "full-court press" on our kid's soul as early as grade school (i.e. Evolution, Sexual Ethics,
Naturalism, Pluralism, Atheism, etc.). One of our greatest desires should be to prepare them to take in the
barrage of questions that their peers throw at them and have a biblical response. It’s super important for us to
see that it's not the Church's job to do this alone. It's ours. We are the disciple-makers in our homes. May we
raise families that are willing to talk through life's most important questions together.
Just as it’s important for our children to see that we don’t know everything, it’s also super important for us to
remember that we don’t know everything. And while I think we’d all agree with that statement, sometimes we can
act like we have nothing left to learn. We fail to take advantage of the incredible resources that we have access
to. Let’s be honest, the journey of biblical parenting is hard and it requires a lot of help. Here are a few of the
resources that have been a real blessing to us as we’ve navigated the first twelve years of our own journey.
Deuteronomy 6:7 gives us a very clear picture of just how often we need to be bringing God and His Word into
the conversation with our children. "You shall teach them [God’s commandments] diligently to your children, and
shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when
you rise." In order for us to do this successfully, we need to create some very intentional habits in our home that
make God's Word, God's promises, and God's history of provision ever-present. By failing to do this, we risk
forgetting these things, just like the Israelites did. Here are three key times during the day that we would suggest
creating these biblical habits:
The one single best piece of advice I received from my Pastor about child raising is this; "You're not raising
children, you're raising adults." This profound statement short-wired my brain (in the best way possible) forever. It
helped me to realize that I had been falling into the trap of two lies:
When we raise our kids with a biblically accurate perspective, it's so much easier to understand the “why” and get
excited about the “how”. We can fight the temptation to "hide our kids under the mattress" in this scary world and
rather train them up and send them out as a "Kingdom Investment", Lord willing delivering a 100x return.
One final encouragement... The job of "adult raising" is not easy and we cannot expect to do it well all on our
own. However difficult it might be for us to open up and be vulnerable with others, we need to fight the temptation
to isolate ourselves. Proverbs 18:1 teaches us that “Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks
out against all sound judgment.” So let’s make it a priority to get into a small group or a tight community with
other Christian parents and then share with them our experiences and seek wise counsel. Let’s combat the
prevalent lie that we’re the only ones struggling along this journey. The enemy is prowling around like a lion,
seeking someone to devour. It's much easier to kill a sheep when it's alone.