Art and Science of Counseling:

Training Material 3

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 INDEX

1. Introduction........................................................................... 03

Part 1 (Theory)

2. The Human Mind and its Programming ......................................05

3. Believing is Seeing ................................................................. 06
4. Stress and Stress Management ................................................ 08
5. Communication with Teenagers / Students ............................... 11
6. Affect Regulation .................................................................... 14

Part 2 (Practical Techniques)

7. Breathing Awareness ............................................................... 21

8. Success and Excellence ........................................................... 22
9. Convert “Have to” into “Want to”................................................ 22
10. Concentration Technique........................................................... 23
11. Progressive Muscular Relaxation (PMR) ...................................... 24
12. Dealing with Distractions ......................................................... 25
13. Preparing Autosuggestions ....................................................... 26
14. Mini-nap................................................................................. 28
15. General Ego-strengthening Autosuggestions............................... 29
16. Learning – Memory and Test taking Autosuggestions ................... 31
17. ECC Vs TTF ............................................................................. 33
18. Introspection .......................................................................... 34
19. Your Daily Practice Schedule ...................................................... 39
20. Faculty................................................................................... 40

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 INTRODUCTION

Affect Regulation

Definitions

“Affect” refers to the feeling tone a person is experiencing at any particular

point in time. If the feeling tone is strong, has a clear cause, and is the focus of
conscious awareness, then we use the term “emotion” to refer to those feelings.
However, if the feeling tone is mild, does not have a clear cause, and is in the
background of awareness, then we use the term “mood”. Most definitions of
affect regulation include the notion that in the process of monitoring and
evaluating affective states, individuals take action either to maintain or to
change (enhance or suppress) the intensity of affect, or to prolonged or shorten
the affective episode.

Why Regulate Affect?

Feelings provide important information to a person and serve to direct

subsequent thought and behaviour in mostly adaptive ways; therefore, the goal
of affect regulation is not to prevent or short-circuit all affect.

Affect status influence subsequent behaviour, experience, and cognition,

especially in terms of social consequences. So, one function of affect regulation
is to limit the residual impact of lingering emotions and moods on subsequent
behaviour and experience. For example, if a woman is angry at her spouse
because he did not listen to her side in an argument, then that experience of
anger should tell her that this issue is important to her. Effective anger
regulation would allow her to have the information that her angry feelings
convey, yet also use these feelings to energize an effective and mature
response, thereby limiting the residual maladaptive interpersonal effects that
often follow in the wake of anger. Emotional affect regulation in healthy
individuals facilitates goal-directed activities and helps individuals to recover
from negative life events and stressors. Another significance of affect regulation
is its relation to mental and physical health.

Affect regulation also contribute in maintenance of a global sense of subjective

well-being (SWB). SWB has two affective components at its core, both of which
are considered as aggregates, or averages, over relatively long time periods:
Average level of positive affect (PA) and negative affect (NA).

Strategies for Affect Regulation

Negative life events have a stronger impact on subjective feelings than do

positive events. There are many strategies for down-regulation of negative
affects and up-regulation of positive affects.

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I. Strategies for Down-regulation of Negative Affects

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(1) Distraction or Emotion Avoiding Rumination:

It involves disengagement from the problematic situation, or avoidance of

thinking about the problem. The behaviours employed may be engaging in
some other activities, like watching television, listening to music, working on a
hobby or reading an involving book.

(2) Venting, Expressing Negative Affect, Catharsis

Freud taught that negative emotions, when not expressed, build up tension and
ultimately produce symptoms. Consequently, the discharge of negative
emotions through expression was taught to rid the psychological system of
tension. Psychoanalysis is sometimes viewed as a form of venting therapy,
because the patients are encouraged to re-experiencing the emotions
associated with past traumas, a process known as “catharsis”.

Catharsis theory is most often associated with the management of anger.

However recent studies conclude that venting anger (e.g., hitting a punching
bag) makes people angrier and more likely to be aggressive. Emotion feedback
theories suggest that the outward expression of an emotion serves to amplify
the subjective impact or feeling of the emotion. Venting would probably be
more useful in the up-regulation of positive emotions; that is, smiling, laughing,
or postural adjustments, such as sitting up tall, can be used to increase positive
feelings.

(3) Suppression of Negative Affect

Inhibiting the expression of the negative emotion takes work or effort, so it is

associated with increased physiological arousal. Yet emotional inhibition is not
inherently unhealthy always. Capacity to inhibit emotional expression evolved
because it is beneficial, in some instances (depending upon the specific emotion
being inhibited, the time course of the emotion, which component of emotion is
being inhibited, and the degree of volition involved in the inhibition).

(4) Cognitive Reappraisal, Finding Meaning in Negative Events

It involves the attempt to develop a positive interpretation of a problematic

situation. Many terms have been used to describe this strategy, including
“positive reappraisal”, “cognitive restructuring”, “cognitive reframing” or
“benefit finding”. Perception of benefits in otherwise negative experiences is
associated with more adaptive long-term outcomes.

Cognitive reappraisal can occur even before a negative emotion is evoked. This
strategy is useful even when negative emotions are anticipated. For example,
before a job interview, candidates might try to convince themselves that the
main purpose of the interview is to gather information about the prospective

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employer. They potentially avoid the anxiety of seeing the situation in purely
social evaluation terms.

Persons who are induced to write about a traumatic experience, over a period of
time, tend to fare better – in terms of physical health, immune function and
psychological health – than those who spend the same period of time writing
about a mundane experience. They explain that by writing about a negative
experience people construct a story, a reinterpretation of the event that
facilitates a sense of resolution.

(5) Downward Social Comparison

After a negative event, comparing oneself to others who have experienced a

more severe negative event can serve to put one’s problem into perspective. No
matter what, there are always people who are worse off for comparing a
negative event.

(6) Problem-Directed Action / Planning to Avoid Problem

Thinking about and acting on the problem responsible for the unpleasant mood.
It could be problem-focused or emotion-focused coping. Planning to avoid such
events in the future will immediately start improvement in mood.

(7) Self-reward / Thinking About or Doing Pleasant Activities

Self-rewarding experience can be an actual act (e.g. going shopping) or a more

cognitive pleasure (e.g. taking a few minutes off to recall some pleasant
experience). This may be especially useful in speeding recovery from negative
events.

(8) Exercise / Relaxation / Eating

Moderate exercise is a reliable method for changing a bad mood and boost felt
energy. Meditation or going to sleep earlier than usual can cause positive
changes in affective states. Diet that influence blood glucose, hormones or
neurotransmitters (especially dopamine and serotonin) are likely to produce
alterations in affective states.

(9) Socializing, Seeking Help or Advise from Others

The number, quality and frequency of relationships correlate with happiness.

Socializing may work to relieve negative affect through many processes. For
example, it provides opportunity to reframe the situation cognitively or it
provides distraction.

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(10) Withdrawal / Isolation / Spending Time Alone

Removing oneself from social activities during a negative emotional experience

is a commonly used strategy, but is not very successful in dealing with negative
affects except anger.

II. Strategies for Up-regulation of Positive Affects

(1) Gratitude / Counting One’s Blessings

Keeping a focus on one’s strengths or the events in life for which one can be
thankful enhances sense of well-being, health and interpersonal relationships.
This slows down adaptation to positive events and reminds the person of areas
of life that are going well. Finding something in a negative event that is positive
and worth being grateful for (reappraisal) is a way of taking control and
perceiving the event as a gift.

(2) Helping Others / Committing Acts of Kindness

Several researchers have demonstrated a link between dispositional happiness

and the propensity to be generous, altruistic and charitable.

(3) Humour / Laughter / Expressing Positive Emotions

Persons with a sense of humor cope better with stress and illness, recover
faster from illnesses and appear to have enhanced immune system responses
compared to low-humor persons. Laughter attenuates certain physiological
responses to stress. Periods of self-conscious PA (positive affects) induction can
be quite useful in overcoming deleterious effects of chronic stress.

It is not always possible to avoid or modify undesirable situations, or to ignore

particular aspects of them selectively, and response suppression takes both a
physical (boosting blood pressure, heart rate and skin conductance) and a
mental toll (impairing memory). While cognitive reappraisal strategies, which
influence the appraisal process itself by changing the way an event is
interpreted, are widely applicable, and can successfully influence emotional
experience and expression without the physiological and mental costs.

Spiritual Perspective

Lord Krishna advised, “Perform action, O Dhananjaya (you and me),

abandoning attachment, being steadfast in Yoga, and balanced (equipoise) in
success and failure. Evenness of mind while responding to any pair of opposites
is called Yoga (The Bhagvad Gita II/48). This is the quality of a sthitpragya – a
balanced person. A sthitpragya is not emotionless, neither he is sentimental,
but the one who is aware about his own and other’s feelings and who gives
thoughtful, appropriate and mature response to the situation. His actions are
primarily guided by intellect (objective and rational thinking), and colored with
appropriate emotions. His actions are not direct outcome of emotions.
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There are seven fields of relationships in human life: The Universal field wherein
I am connected with the universe; the Social field wherein I am related with the
society (my country, my city, my cast); the Professional field in which I am
relating with my organization; the field of Family where I am related to my
family; the Physical field in which I am related with my body, the Mental field
wherein I am related with my mind and finally, the Intellectual field wherein I
relate with my intellect.

In every relationship there are mutual expectations. I have expectation from

the universe that there should be optimum rains every year, the climate should
not be too hot or cool and so on. And the universe expects me to take care of
the carbon emission or other pollutants. I have expectations from my fellow
people in the society; my city, my government and all. The city, the
government and the society expect me to follow their rules properly. I have
expectations that my organization should pay me a certain amount or give me
certain facilities, while the organization expects me to work efficiently and
honestly. I have expectations from my wife/husband and the children and in
turn they all have many expectations from me. I have desires in the field of my
body that it should be healthy, strong and good looking. My body would expect
me to give proper diet, rest and exercise to it. I would wish my mind to be
calm, happy and confident always; while my mind would wish me to give
appropriate relaxation and recreation to it. I wish to have sharp and subtle
intellect and my intellect would need me to feed it with good knowledge.

Affects are the outcome of what happens to our desire. Some of our desires are
fulfilled and thereby give us happiness (Positive Affect - PA); but many of them
remain unfulfilled creating unhappiness (Negative Affect - NA). Even though the
fulfilment of desire gives me happiness, neither it will be everlasting nor will it
be absolute happiness. Either my desire will increase or change or I realize that
the same object, individual or situation brought me problems also. Then I will
have some another desire and the same cycle will repeat. Ultimately I will land
up with the desire which will not be fulfilled and I will be unhappy. So, some
people consider the desire to be the cause of unhappiness and they have a
desire of not having any further desires. But it is not in our hand to create or
get rid of any desire. They are natural and they are created by themselves.

Ability to desire is a strength; it is one of the three powers (Strength of Desiring

– Ichcha Shakti, Strength of taking Action for fulfillment of desire – Karya
Shakti, and Strength of Intellectually evaluating the desire – Budhdhi Shakti)
we possess. But the insistence for the fulfillment of our desire – the attitude
that unless my desire is fulfilled, I will remain unhappy – is the cause of
unhappiness and not the desire by itself. Insistence for the desire of getting
something is called raga and insistence for the desire of getting rid of
something is called dwesha. It is this insistence – the raga and dwesha – which

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can be dropped by making some efforts towards Desire Management and
thereby the affects are regulated.

It is the observation by rishis or the knowledge imparted by the oldest books of

knowledge – the Vedanta or upanishadas – that the consciousness or
awareness (there are many terms used to indicate the same, like the Brahman
or the chaitanya or the purusha or the adhisthana or the Unified Field of
Awareness or the Non-local Pure Potential) is manifested in the form of material
Universe (the abhivyakti, the local potential) and then un-manifested into pure
consciousness again by itself. It goes on happening repeatedly again and again
– no one is doing this, it is the intrinsic quality of the consciousness itself. The
manifestation may be inanimate (viz., solid, liquid, gas, space, time) or animate
(viz., the vegetable and animal kingdoms - fish, bird, reptiles, mammals
including man).

It is the knowledge of upnishadas that while manifesting, the consciousness will

have some design - some laws or some order - which may be called “intention”
or “Order” or the wish of God. If our desire is matching with the intrinsic design
of the consciousness, it will be fulfilled (provided we work on it) but if our desire
is different from the original design, the “intention”, then it will never be
fulfilled. There are criteria for checking the desire given in the scriptures (as
they are out of the context of this article, we are not discussing them here).

We need to use our body, mind, intellect, strength, skills, resources, time, and
everything fully to perform action on our right desire. Taking action – working
hard is very important. Then there will be the result.

There are four possible outcomes of our efforts: We may get exactly what we
expected; we may get something more; or something less; or the result may
be just the opposite. There is no fifth possibility; these are the only four
possible results. The result is always going to be the one necessary for our long
term happiness (shreya), for our growth, the one which can make us more
mature; which can lead us to fulfill the purpose (the mission) of our life. The
result is always befitting with the design of the Universe, the “intention”.

As we learn to accept the result gracefully with the above understanding

(reappraisal), we grow – we become more mature. We start realizing that in all
the seven fields of life, the events and situations were designed to gradually
lead us to this maturity. We start realizing that when our desires are fulfilled
(through the objects, persons or situations), we do get happiness, but this
happiness does not exist permanently, neither it is absolute happiness. And our
search is for everlasting and absolute happiness. We gradually move on to
discover the harmony, the justice, the order in the universe. As we recognize
and follow this order (existing, for example, in the form of laws of Physics or
Biology or Sociology), we achieve the inner state of blissfulness independent of
objects or situations. And this is the real growth for which we are blessed with
this beautiful human life.

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