I want you to read each other’s argumentative claims in order to help the student author

evaluate the statement.

Please take a minute to review these notes and then turn to each other’s statements and
use this criteria to help the student author better develop their thesis. Your job is to write
to them (i.e. silent discussion) and help them see areas of improvement.

Here are ways you could respond: How would you frame that thesis statement? What
would you include and what would you exclude? What is confusing or misleading?
What terms are unclear? How could the statement be more bold or assertive? Or is the
statement too bold and likely to offend? What do you, as reader, expect to see in the
paper based on this statement?

**The biggest issue is almost always that statements are not yet argumentative. Ask yourself: is
there a clear opposition? If no one would disagree with your statement, then it’s not yet an
argument.

A thesis statement is an assertion, not a statement of fact or an observation.

 Fact or observation: People use many lawn chemicals.

 Thesis: People are poisoning the environment with chemicals merely to keep
their lawns clean.

A thesis takes a stand rather than announcing a subject.

 Announcement: The thesis of this paper is the difficulty of solving our

environmental problems.
 Thesis: Solving our environmental problems is more difficult than many
environmentalists believe.

A thesis is a topic + assertion, not the title. It must be a complete sentence that
explains in some detail what you expect to write about.

 Title: Social Security and Old Age.

 Thesis: Continuing changes in the Social Security System makes it almost
impossible to plan intelligently for one's retirement.

A thesis statement is narrow, rather than broad. If the thesis statement is sufficiently
narrow, it can be fully supported.

 Broad: The American steel industry has many problems.

 Narrow: The primary problem if the American steel industry is the lack of funds
to renovate outdated plants and equipment.

A thesis statement clearly suggests an essay’s direction, emphasis and scope

 A thesis statement should not make promises that the essay will not fulfill. It
should suggest how ideas are related and where the emphasis lies.
A good argumentative thesis statement argues a point of view.
To test whether a thesis is argumentative or not, ask yourself whether a person could
argue against it.

Not Argumentative: I want to share some thoughts with you about our space
program.
Not Argumentative: The Unites States space program grew extensively during
the cold war.
Argumentative: Investing money in our space program is a misuse of taxpayers’
dollars.

A good thesis statement is strong.

 The thesis statement should be as strong as possible. This means avoiding weak
phrasing such as “in my opinion,” “I believe,” “I think,” or “it seems to me.”
Since you, the writer, wrote the paper, it is obvious that the content of the paper
is your opinion; you don’t need to tell your reader.

A good thesis expresses the writer’s passion for the topic and assertion.
 Your thesis statement ought to have energy and it ought to leave no doubt that
the writer is committing him/herself to the argument.

One final note…..

Please, please, please help each other watch out for thesis statements that set the student
writer up for a paper full of just facts. It is easy to do. Look at these examples in order to
see what I mean. You do not want a paper filled with only facts. You want an argument.

Examples:
1. Teenage drinking is very common in this country.
2. College costs are too expensive.
3. Acid rain hurts fish.

The writer doesn’t have to work very hard to convince us of these claims. They are well
accepted and unoriginal. And while you can always find someone willing to argue with
you, these aren’t likely to stimulate genuine opposition.