DEFENSIVE PHRASES:

It never feels good to have fingers pointed at the

Complainants when they are actually the one who
deserves the protective mantle of the law.

Fairness
People value fairness from the evolutionary
perspective because they feel that, if everybody has
the same rules and chances, there's less of a worry
about missing out and being isolated. The
underlying belief is that, if you do the right thing or
what you're "supposed" to do, you'll get good
things, and that if you do the wrong thing, or break
the rules, you'll get bad things. So under the "just
world fallacy", people will assume that, because
something bad happened to you, you are at fault.
The justifications they come up with are often not
logical, connecting unrelated things, but it's hard for
them not to blame you without giving up the sense
of security they get from believing fairness always
applies.

Knowing that you’re on solid ground may help you

to self-soothe rather than feel compelled to defend
yourself—assuming that you are on solid ground
(that there is no affair). Maintaining your sense of
self-worth and not succumbing to shame, you’re
better positioned to hear the deeper feelings or
insecurities that your loved one is trying to convey,
even if their manner of delivery is difficult to hear.
The Truth Will Set You Free
At one time or another, most of us are blamed for
something we didn't do. It feels unjust and unfair.
And, it is. Even though we may be completely
guiltless, we feel guilty.

Often, jealousy, insecurity, and low self-esteem are

coursing through a liar's veins. The only way they
can feel their own importance is to gossip viciously
about other people, bringing them down so that
they themselves can feel better about who they are.

To intentionally accuse someone of doing

something they know is a lie gives the liar a feeling
of importance. Feel sorry for them, my friend. They
are miserable individuals and cannot find joy within.
They are unable to feel good themselves so they
continue this endless road of slum and slime as they
pass judgment and makeup lies about other people.

Armor yourself with knowledge. Like a bullet-proof

vest, the toxic blame will bounce right off of you.
The more aware you are, the better. You will avoid
these types of relationships and save your self-
esteem.
Making excuses. Blamers are always making excuses
for their own actions. They are very good at this.
They will rarely take responsibility for their
behavior.

Envy. Envy is the blamer's middle name. Any time

you get something nice, they become angry and
envious. This includes any success you might have.
When you're sick or in pain, believe me -- they're
happy. They may not realize this and in fact, will
deny it. Then, when you feel great and positive
again, they may immediately remind you that
"soon, bad things will happen, so don't get too
comfortable."

Beware of people who automatically assume the

fault is yours. After all, it could never be their fault.
By the way, these people also love to play mind
games. They rehearse their entire dialogue so they
will be prepared for your next conversation. It's a
full-time job for them.

“A lie can travel halfway around the world while the

truth is putting on its shoes.”
― Mark Twain