The Art of Forming and Reforming Habits
writes: ‘From birth to death, from Monday
SWAMI BANESHANANDA
A former editor of The Vedanta Kesari,
the author is the Minister-in-charge of
Vedanta Gesellschaft (Vedanta Society) of
Germany.
VK-July-2020
The art of forming and reforming habits is
of great relevance to all of us,
irrespective of gender, race, colour, and
age. This article examines how habits
are formed and how they can be
reformed or changed.
Introduction
Some thinker has said that we do not live
in this world for many days. We actually
live ‘one day’ and repeat ‘the same day’
many times. Very true! From morning till
evening, what we do is more or less
nothing but following the same
programme. We have programmed
ourselves in such a convenient way that
every day is the same day for us. In his
famous book The Art of Loving, Prof Erich
Fromm terms such a person ‘a nine to
fiver’. In Sanskrit, these types of habits are
called Nitya-karmas or daily duties or
actions.
Of course, at the end of the week, may be
from Friday evening, we try to do
something different. We go outdoors, pitch
our tents somewhere and enjoy life. We
may think that this is a kind of change to
or difference in our fixed routine. But
again, it is the same change every week!
Finally, there are occasions like the
repetitive holidays on our yearly calendar
— every year the same type of events and
holidays repeat themselves. They are
called naimittika karmas or occasional
duties/ activities. All of this instills in us a
regular habit or a kind of programming. We
may not just be mere ‘gene machines’ but
also programmed gene machines.
1
Acknowledging this fact, Erich Fromm
to Monday, from morning to evening — all
activities are routinised, and
prefabricated. How should a man caught
up in this net of routine not forget that he
is a man, a unique individual, one who is
given only this one chance of living , with
hopes and disappointments, with sorrow
and fear, with the longing for love and the
dread of the nothing and separateness?’1
Our Habits Depend on Our Self-Worth
Actually, our habits reveal to us how much
we value ourselves. They mercilessly
expose how much self-respect we have.
Logically, we should not expect others to
value or respect us any more than this. If I
can’t value myself, if I can’t respect
myself, then how can I expect others to
value or respect me? Alas, our habits are
honest to the core, often brutally so!
I heard the following incident from one of
the attendants of Swami Bhuteshananda,
the 12th President of the Ramakrishna
Order. At that time, Maharaj was around
94 years old. About two years prior to that
he had undergone a heart-bypass surgery.
The breastbone had to be cut open and at
that age one never knows how securely the
bones will re-join. So the doctors advised
him to take care of some minor things, like
not getting up from his bed unaided, etc.
The doctors also asked him to take an
hour’s rest after lunch — between one and
two o’clock in the afternoon. One day he
got up fifteen minutes before two o’clock
and asked his attendant Swami to help him
to get out of bed. The attendant Swami
said, ‘Maharaj, we have still fifteen
minutes to go. According to the doctors’
advice, you need to take one-hour’s rest.’
Maharaj said, ‘No, I am awake now. I want
to get up.’ The attendant Swami persisted
saying, ‘No, you have to take rest.’
Maharaj said, ‘If you don’t help me, I’ll get
up myself.’ Then the attendant Swami
said, ‘Maharaj, just enjoy a bit of more
rest and comfort’; in Bengali he said, ‘Aar
ektu aaraam korun!’ Aaraam means
enjoying comfort or rest. Revered Maharaj
then replied to this with the Hindi proverb,
‘aaraam haaraam hai!’ That means,
allowing one’s time to be spent in enjoying
ease and comfort is deceiving oneself, and
is, therefore, forbidden. Just imagine! At
his age he is reminding us that we should
be up and doing work. Look at his sense of
self-worth! We have our defects and our
weaknesses. We have difficulties too. Still,
we can and must value ourselves. We
should learn from examples like this that
we should value ourselves appropriately.
Only then can we duly expect others to
respect us in the same measure.
Sri Ramakrishna defined the human being
as ‘maan hunsh to maanush’ in Bengali.
That is, a person (maanush) who is
constantly aware of his or her self-worth is
maanush. In other words, he asked us to
be aware of our infinite possibilities
(maan) as spiritual beings and, at the
same time, of our limitations (maan) as
humans. Evolutionary Biology says that our
species has been termed as Homo sapiens
from the time we started asking questions
about ourselves, like ‘Who am I?’.
We have our defects and our weaknesses.
We have difficulties too. Still, we can and
must value ourselves.
What Is Our Actual Self-Worth?
There is no denying the truth that we do
value ourselves. We want to value
ourselves, but we have not been taught or
we have never learnt what our actual self-
worth or value is. We do not know who we
really are. That is the confusion.
According to Vedanta, this confusion is
due to a mixing up of the real and the
unreal.2
Vedanta has discovered that we have
three layers or bodies encapsulating our
being: the physical body (sthula sharira),
interior to that — the mental sheath or
subtle body (sukshma sharira), and the
innermost — the causal body (kaarana
sharira). When we identify ourselves with
2
the physical body, we judge values
according to the wants of the physical
body. We value grosser things such as our
physical comfort, physical enjoyment and
physical happiness. When we identify
ourselves with our mind, we lift our
physical awareness to a level higher than
the physical one and value literary
discussions, ideas, ideals, etc. When we
are able to value our spiritual being, we
elevate ourselves to one level higher
still. This is the foundation of our self-
respect.
With amazing precision, the Taittiriya
Upanishad extensively narrates such a
phenomenon and says that there is a
gradation of our awareness. Our
understanding of ‘who we are’ is wrongly
associated with ‘who we are not’! For
example, in the second chapter of the
third part of the Upanishad3 we read that
Bhrigu, the student, approached his father
and guru, Varuna, and asked for
instructions about Brahman. Throughout
the story Varuna stressed one point in
unequivocal terms: that food, vital force,
eye, ear, mind and speech are not
Brahman, but are aids to the knowledge of
Brahman. The teacher defined what
Brahman is, saying, ‘Crave to know well
that from which all these beings take
birth, that by which they move and that
into which they merge. That is Brahman.’
Maybe it was for the first time in his life
that Bhrigu heard this unambiguous
definition of Brahman. The teacher asked
him to practise concentration and
contemplate on this definition. The later
narration of how the disciple’s
understanding grew deeper and deeper
step-by-step is an astounding process for
the psychologists to study. At each
progressive step the disciple’s own mind
advanced counter arguments, supported by
his practical experiences, alluding to the
existence of something beyond the food,
vital force, etc. In the earlier part4, one
finds more of such counter arguments
arising in the disciple’s mind. The initial
arguments present the makeup of a child’s
mind or the conviction of dyed-in-the wool
materialists – ‘the babies of the world’. For
instance, the question is asked, ‘Who am
I?’ The answer given is, ‘I am food, i.e., I
am an apple, etc.!’ The reason? Food
fullfils almost all our needs. Without food
no one can survive. And so on. This is
certainly a wrong self-identification since
the value of the ‘I’ is equated with ‘food’.
Again, according to Vedanta, a thorough
analysis (differentiation) shows that
these three layers (the physical, subtle
and causal) are ultimately not real. Yet
we have to achieve our goal in and
through these levels, because, as the
Upanishad says, these are sure and
structured aids to achieving the ultimate
goal. There is no other or better solution
as to how to get out of these levels. When
we identify ourselves with these levels,
they become our goals. We forget the real
goal. Unfortunately, habits are formed
according to our identification with any
one of these layers or levels, and the
pursuit of happiness at and within that
particular level makes us forget that there
could be something higher and better than
this!
Swami Vivekananda tries to logically
ascertain it in this way: “Suppose a baby
stands up among you when you are trying
to demonstrate an astronomical theorem,
and says, ‘Does it bring gingerbread?’ ‘No,
it does not,’ you answer. ‘Then,’ says the
baby, ‘it is useless.’ Babies judge the
whole universe from their own standpoint,
that of producing gingerbread, and so do
the babies of the world. We must not judge
of higher things from a low standpoint.
Everything must be judged by its own
standard and the infinite must be judged
by the standard of infinity.”5
Let me recall a story. There was a teacher
who used to teach his students about how
to detach oneself from the physical body
and from this world in order to fix the mind
on the ultimate goal of life, etc. But the
students discovered that this teacher
3
himself was attached to a dog. The
students used to make fun of the teacher
because they thought he was not true to
his words. One day they asked him the
teasing question, “Sir, what is the goal of
life?” The teacher understood the jibe. He
called the dog to his side and, pointing his
finger to the moon, asked the dog, “Fetch
the moon.” The dog looked up. The
teacher asked the students, “Can you tell
me where the dog is looking?” The students
said, “Obviously he is looking at the
moon.” The teacher laughed and said, “No.
He is looking at my finger! The finger is the
indicator or pointer and the thing which is
indicated is difficult for the poor creature
to appreciate.” He added, “It is for this
reason that I love this dog; it reminds me
of such a horrible contingency.”
Coming back to judging everything by its
own standard, sadly, considering
everything from the gingerbread viewpoint
creates further problems. It keeps us far
away from the real goal. And this brings,
what may be called a very common
‘delusional confidence’ or belief, which is
hard for the students of non-dual Vedanta
to identify and keep away from. It is much
harder for them to accept it and mend
their ways as needed. I believe it is the
same regrettable story in the case of many
religious people. Actually, it is the great
spoiler, the ego, which stands in our way.
The ego is unwisely fed with very
convincing theoretical interpretations of
non-dual Vedanta or any spiritual truth for
that matter. As a result, with even a small
intellectual achievement the ego thinks
that it has realised the Truth! At the same
time, the spiritual practices that non-dual
Vedanta prescribes appear to such people
to be limited to intellectual
understanding6 and many great theoretical
scholars try to confidently and aggressively
interpret it that way. However, Vedanta is
very emphatic and clear about spiritual
practices, especially the noble practices as
part of preparation. These noble practices
are: (i) Shravanam, i.e., hearing the great
sentences (maha-vakyas) like, ‘Tat tvam
asi’, – You are that Brahman,7 and then
deliberating on their purported meaning
that finally leads our understanding to the
Reality that is non-dual. 8 (ii) Mananam,
i.e., contemplating on the meaning of the
mahavakyas and strengthening our
conviction about the goal. And (iii)
Nididhyasanam, i.e., meditating on the
meaning of the maha-vakyas by eliminating
contrary thoughts9 and introducing similar
ones until finally the realisation of ‘the
fact’, so to say, behind words, ‘the thing’
behind indicators, or the ‘thing-initself’10,
happens!
‘Habit is our second nature; it is first
nature also. It is all there is of nature. I
repeat [something] two or three times; it
becomes my nature.’
However, I desperately hope that I should
be wrong, when I say that most of the
votaries of religions get mislead, because,
after reading and intellectually grasping
the information which is nothing more than
an indicator, they think that they have
indeed realised the Truth!! They forget
that the scriptures are nothing but pointers
to the truth. This is one of the reasons why
we say that the Vedas are sacrosanct;
because they are in fact the only real
pointers to the Truth. In reality, they
untiringly try to direct our attention to
something else, which is beyond the
scriptures.11 That is why Sri Ramakrishna
said that his experiences or realisations
had transcended the limit of scriptures.
Since scriptures are the only true pointers
to the goal, they are not the ultimate goal
themselves. Many so-called scholars fail to
separate the indicators from the real goal
that the indicators point to. This delusion
is why they are themselves misled, and
also how they in turn mislead others with
their confusion. Particularly for this
reason, Sri Krishna warns the students of
Vedanta saying, “The toil is harder for
those whose minds are fixed on the
Unmanifest.”12
4
There is a yardstick to test if we have
actually realised the Truth. This can be
tested by those who should check if their
own realisation is true. Others will also
know if a particular person’s claim is
genuine. It is seen that most of the people
are much attached to the body. They do
not give importance to anything if it is not
in any way benefitting their own body,
their things, their self, their ego etc. At
the same time they say that they have
realised Brahman. That is a kind of
selfdeception. This happens because we
mistake the ego for the Self. That is why
the Kathopanishad says, “One who has
desisted from bad conduct, whose senses
are under control, whose mind is
concentrated, whose mind is free from
anxiety, has attained this Self through
knowledge!”13
Our Total Self-Worth
This state of Self knowledge is the highest.
Before one reaches this state, there are
preparatory stages. The lowest is where
good and evil come into consideration.
Vedanta teaches us how to differentiate
between good and bad at the lowest level.
Good and bad are nothing but our
accumulated habits — good habits and bad
habits. Someone has said that the total
value or worth of a person is what remains
when we deduct good habits from bad
habits or bad habits from good habits. Fair
enough! For that reason we need to
differentiate or discern what is good and
what is bad, what is permanent and what is
impermanent, and finally, what is real and
what is unreal.
Swami Vivekananda has said, “Habit is our
second nature; it is first nature also. It is
all there is of nature. I repeat [something]
two or three times; it becomes my
nature.”14 Our first nature is what we are
born with; what we have brought with us;
the e a r l i e r s t o r e d - u p impressions
(samskaras) which have helped us to begin
with this life – the hardware in us, so to
speak. And the second nature is what we
learn in this life, our software. For
example, throughout the process of
evolution we have learnt one thing, how to
be always afraid of the unknown. In this
way we built up our defense mechanism or
our survival mechanism. But that is a
negative way of forming habits. ‘Fear’ is a
negative habit. This may be the reason why
many people are found to be uninterested
when people are discussing good ideas and
good things. But if we are talking ill of
others, criticising someone rightly or
wrongly, then many people are found to be
interested!
If we want to change our state of affairs
and states of being, we need to change our
habits.
In any case, if we want to change our state
of affairs and states of being, we need to
change our habits. We may need to
introduce a new habit, change our bad
habits, or improve upon our good habits. In
short, a change is necessary.
(To be continued. . .)
References: 1) The Art of Loving. Erich
Fromm. p. 17 2) Brahmasutras-Bhashya
Introduction by Shankara: satya-anrita-
mithuni-karana 3) Taittiriya Upanishad.
3.i.1 … . 4) Taittiriya Upanishad. 2.ii.1 …:
annam brahma iti vyajaanaat 5) The
Complete Works of Swami Vivekananda.
Vol. 3, Lectures and Discourses, Unity, the
Goal of Religion 6) Kathopanishad. 2.1.11:
manasaa eva idam aaptavyam 7)
Chandogya Upanishad. 6.8.7 8)
Vedantasarah. 182: advitiya-vastuni
taatparyaavadhaaranam 9) Vedantasarah.
192: vijaatiya .. pratyaya-rahita 10)
Prolegomena (32) by Immanuel Kant, Das
Ding an sich.‘ 11) Brihadaranyaka
Upanishad. 4.3.22: atra .. vedaah avedaah
[bhavanti], “in realization the scriptures
cease to be needed any more.” 12) Gita.
12.5: kleshah-adhikatarah-tesham 13)
Kathopanishad. 1.2.24 14) The Complete
Works of Swami Vivekananda. Vol. 2,
Practical Vedanta and Other Lectures, The
Goal.
5
The Art of Forming and Reforming Habits
SWAMI BANESHANANDA
(Continued from previous issue...)
VK-August-2020
The Idea of Change
‘Change’ implies the act of ‘letting go’. It
is like getting a good thing for a good price
and ‘letting go’ the other ones. The
quicker we are able to let go of the old,
the sooner we will be able to enjoy the
new. Our inner resistance to accept any
kind of change, is perhaps the most
difficult problem we face in this respect.
You try to change the location of your bed
in the room. Or try to change the position
of your reading table. It may be a very
insignificant thing; but so much disapproval
comes from within! It shows that we have
created our own comfort zones and we
love to remain there. We think that we are
quite safe being there. That is why it is
very difficult to bring about changes in
one’s own personal life or at the
workplace.
We may remember that small book, Who
Moved My Cheese?, written by Dr. Spencer
Johnson. It’s a wonderful story about two
mice, Sniff and Scurry, and two little
indecisive people, Hem and Haw. They
used to get cheese regularly from a store
without the knowledge of the owner. This
continued for a long time. No one ever
asked them where they were getting their
supply of cheese. So they thought that that
was their cheese. Psychologically speaking,
when you form a habit like this you think
that it is your right to enjoy it indefinitely!
One day they came and saw to their
surprise that the store was not there
anymore! The book shows how it was easy
for the mice to accept the change, and to
move away and find another store of
cheese. But it was a blow for Hem and
Haw, the indecisive little people. The one
called Haw somehow managed to accept
this change and was ready to look for
something elsewhere. But Hem was not. He
said, ‘First, you have to answer the
question: who moved my cheese?’ He was
convinced that it was his cheese. In the
same way, we say: this is my body. And my
whole Universe issues forth! Actually, this
is nobody’s body. It belongs to this
material world. Modern science also
corroborates this, saying that it is made of
ingredients available in the world. It is not
a property that we really own. Still we say,
‘It is my body!’ This is a very serious fault.
Hem developed habits based on the cheese
always being available, its supply
guaranteed. Therefore, he was not willing
to come out of his comfort zone and
accept the change.
There is an example of a great movement
called Alcoholics Anonymous (AA, for
short). Bill Wilson (William Griffith Wilson)
was the co-founder of AA. Bill himself was
an alcoholic. But he succeeded in
becoming sober and started Alcoholics
Anonymous. The twelve steps that an
alcoholic attending AA’s programme is
advised to follow can be found on the
Internet. Astonishingly, seven out of the
twelve steps speak of God or God’s grace,
etc! Initially it was difficult for the modern
researchers to acknowledge it as a
scientific approach, so they termed it a
cult! But the truth of AA’s overwhelming
success could not be denied for long. This
is a programme that deals with the
prospect and facts of a change.
We know that the Vedanta philosophy is
based on the authority of the Upanishads.
The word ‘Upanishad’ has been explained
as meaning a process of a change or
transformation. The word has three
syllables ‘upa’, ‘ni’ and ‘shad’. Here ‘upa’
is one prefix and ‘ni’ is another prefix to
the root ‘shad’. As if one prefix were not
enough to bring out the seriousness of the
undertaking and so it had to have another
prefix ‘ni’! The meaning of the root ‘shad’
is to cut asunder. One needs to cut asunder
the bondage which is an outcome of one’s
attachment that one has grown towards
6
things after mistaking the unreal (or
relatively real) for the real. The prefix ‘ni’
is very powerful because it means
‘nihseshena’, i.e., completely annihilating,
without leaving any trace. Why was this
prefix ‘ni’ used? The root ‘shad’ itself
seems to be enough to convey the
meaning. However, the answer is, it was
used because we have grown an
attachment to unreal things to the extent
of having an addiction! It is just like habits
and programming we spoke about in the
beginning. What is the process of
developing an attachment? Suppose, for
example, I like a beautiful face. My eyes
are there to look at things. Hence if I look
at your beautiful face, it is no harm for
me. This is also not the fault of the eyes.
But suppose I look at the same face a
second time, that shows I have given it my
‘attention’. When I look at the face for the
third time, it shows that there is an
‘intention’. If I look at it for the fourth
time, it is ‘attachment’; and if I look at the
same face again and again, it is called a
strong attachment to the point of having
an ‘addiction’!
In the second chapter of the Gita, Sri
Krishna, while narrating the traits of a
person of steady wisdom, analytically and
meticulously delineates the process of
forming a habit to the extent of addiction.
He says:
‘In a person (pumshah) who dwells
longingly on the sense objects (vishayaan),
an inclination (sangah) towards them is
generated. This inclination develops into
desire (kaamah), and desire begets anger
(krodhah).
‘Anger generates delusion (sammohah),
and delusion results in loss of memory
(smritivibhramah). Loss of memory brings
about the destruction of discerning
intelligence (buddhinaashah), and loss of
discerning intelligence spells ruin
(pranashyati) to a man.’15
The refreshingly significant message that
Sri Krishna implies through these two
verses is that of a counter process, and is
also very vital for forming or reforming our
habits. Let us read the above two verses,
instead, in the following manner. I have
merely replaced the word ‘Ishwaram’ for
the object ‘vishayaan’ in the original Gita-
verse. We need just to change the object
of meditation from ‘matter’ (vishayaan) to
‘God’ (Ishwaram) or our ‘Self’
(Aatmaanam). Now let us note the amazing
effect of this small change. It will produce
transformation in the consecutive objects
and will finally lead us not to our
‘destruction’ (vinaashah), but to our ‘final
liberation’ (vimuchyate)!
‘In a person (pumshah) who dwells
longingly on God (Ishwaram), an inclination
(sangah) towards Him is generated. This
inclination develops into divine love
(prema), and this divine love (premnah)
begets compassion (karunaa).
‘Compassion brings about loss of delusion
(nirmohah), and loss of delusion results in
increase of memory (smriti-vriddhih). The
augmentation of memory brings about the
purification of discerning intelligence
(buddhishuddhih), and the purification of
discerning intelligence (dhi-shuddhyaah)
leads to liberation (vimuchyate) for a
person.
What a message of hope and inspiration!
This shows how a stubborn or diehard habit
is formed and how it can be reformed. So
the use of the prefix ‘ni’ means that we
have to work hard to completely eradicate
or change such stubborn habits.
Why are these diehard habits formed? They
are formed, as mentioned earlier in this
write up, because of our wrong
identification of the Self with not-self. We
are attached to a particular thing and,
therefore, have formed our habits in the
way that they accommodate that particular
thing! When we are attached to our
7
physical body mistaking it for the reality, p
hy s i c a l h a b i t s a re formed; the
physicality about everything is valued and
appreciated. When we are attached to our
mind, our psychological or intellectual
habits are formed. It has been rightly said
by Swami Vivekananda that the attachment
to ‘name and fame’ is the last hurdle of
‘noble minds’. We are the makers of our
habits and hence our destiny.
We are the makers of habits and hence our
destiny
Neuroscience on Forming and Reforming
Habits
There is a branch of neuroscience called
Contemplative Neuroscience, founded by
Dr. B Alan Wallace. With the help of this
method we can learn how our brain works
when we think of ourselves. After Swami
Vivekananda’s original explanation of the
Yogasutras, the following important
concepts of Neuroscience have come to the
fore:
a) Neuroplasticity, also simply called
adaptability: The connections
between the neurons are not fatally
pre-determined. We can rewire the
connections the way we want. This
plays a vital role in the study of
changing our old habits or
developing new ones.
b) b) Epigenetics: Our habits do not
depend on our inheritance, i.e., I
cannot be an alcoholic simply
because my father was an alcoholic!
It is outside the control of the
genetic codes.
c) c) Bidirectional communication
between the mind/brain and body:
There are massive bi-directional
pathways between the mind/ brain
and the body. It has long been
discovered by medical science that
the brain controls the body. In
cases of tremendous mental stress,
the body develops pains at different
parts like the lower back, shoulder
muscles etc. The brain knows that
the mind is more important than
the body. Hence to save the mind it
reduces blood supply to certain
parts of the body creating pain t h e
r e a n d t h e r e b y distracting our
attention from the mind to the
body! Correspondingly the body also
continuously influences the brain in
giving feedback and helping it in
changing wirings between the
neurons. This is why our happiness
and unhappiness are also associated
with different health conditions!
Regular practice of our habits helps
the neurons to develop specific
connections, and they become
stronger and stronger, making the
task progressively easier.
Let me quote from a lecture on
Raja Yoga by Swami Vivekananda to
which I referred earlier. He says:
“You must remember that Yoga
changes the body. As you go on
practising, your body changes; it is
not the same body that you had
before the practice. That is very
rational, and can be explained,
because every new thought that we
have must make, as it were, a new
channel through the brain, and that
explains the tremendous
conservatism of human nature.
Human nature likes to run through
the ruts that are already there,
because it is easy. If we think, just
for example’s sake, that the mind is
like a needle, and the brain
substance a soft lump before it,
then each thought that we have
makes a street, as it were, in the
brain, and this street would close
up, but for the grey matter which
comes and makes a lining to keep it
separate. If there were no grey
matter, there would be no memory,
because memory means going over
these old streets, retracing a
thought as it were. Now perhaps
you have marked that when one
8
talks on subjects in which one takes
a few ideas that are familiar to
everyone, and combines and
recombines them, it is easy to
follow because these channels are
present in everyone’s brain, and it
is only necessary to recur them.” 16
Swami Vivekananda spoke about
this long before medical science
knew about neural plasticity! In
1906, almost five years after Swami
Vivekananda’s passing away,
Charles Sherrington, for the first
time, wrote, “... the brain
continuously rewires itself in
relation to individual experience.”
The brain continuously rewires
itself in relation to individual
experience
Swami Vivekananda continued to
explain that when we want to grow
a new habit, there is always
resistance: “But whenever a new
subject comes, new channels have
to be made, so it is not understood
readily. And that is why the brain
(it is the brain, and not the people
themselves) refuses unconsciously
to be acted upon by new ideas. It
resists.” There will always be
resistance because the pathway
that we are creating is not strong
enough. When the pathway
becomes strong, we form a new
habit.
(To be continued. . .)
References: 15) Gita, 2.62 & 63 16)
The Complete Works of Swami
Vivekananda, vol. 1, Raja Yoga 1.34
The Art of Forming and Reforming
Habits
SWAMI BANESHANANDA
VK-September-2020
(Continued from previous issue...)
The art of forming and reforming
habits is of great relevance to all of
us, irrespective of gender, race,
colour, and age. This article
examines how habits are formed
and how they can be reformed or
changed.
Ways to Change Our Habits
1) Practice
The scriptures have given solutions
to many complex questions or
problems. In the Bhagavad Gita,
Arjuna asks Sri Krishna: When we
try to control our mind, it appears
as difficult as controlling the flow
of wind. How to reorient the mind?
17 Sri Krishna says that there are
only two ways to achieve this —
abhyasah, or regular practice of
attaining the goal, and vairagyah,
or the practice of letting go the
things that are not of permanent
value. The Yoga Sutras and Vedanta
also prescribe the same two ways in
which repetition or ‘practice’ is the
means. But this prescription seems
too simplistic, because even if we
have heard it again and again, it has
not produced any effect on us. On
the other hand, we know that our
bad habits have an effect on us. It
is not only that they have a bad
effect on us, but also that they
affect others around us. So we want
to change the status quo.
Sri Ramakrishna asked his Vedanta
teacher, Totapuri, “Why do you
polish your brass water-pot every
day?” Totapuri replied, “One has to
do it. Otherwise it will rust or
gather dirt.” This is called
‘practice’ — the practice of
cleaning the pot to remove the dirt,
so that it regains its natural
radiance. Those who do physical
exercises know this. When we stop
doing exercises for some time, it is
9
difficult to resume at the level
previously achieved. We have to
restart from the beginning, or at a
lower level. In our monastic Order,
there is a saying that ‘there is no
holiday in spiritual life’. Spiritual
life is not for Sundays only; it is our
everyday life.
Even to achieve any material
success we need to allot time for
our practice by letting go of other
unrelated things which are
consuming our time. This is not
something very mystical. Even the
whole process of practising our
meditation, japa, reading of
scriptures (svadhyaya), holy
company (satsanga), doing good
works for others etc., is initially
very mechanical. But the result it
produces is really mystical. If we
read the lives of great sportspeople
or any great person for that matter,
we see that the key to their success
is practice. They do back-breaking
practice every day. This is what is
needed if we want to achieve
success in changing our habits.
2) Increasing our Willpower
It has been said in the scriptures
that to effect any change in our
habits for our betterment, or to
remove bad habits, we need
willpower. It is a common
experience that when we want to
change any habit we start with
great enthusiasm and vigour; but
we cannot keep up that force for
long and suddenly give up half-way.
This is the question asked to Sri
Krishna by the helpless Arjuna:
“What is that, O Krishna, prompted
by which one is forced, as it were,
to indulge in wrongdoings even
against one’s will?”18 We clearly
know that we lack in something
called willpower. Our willpower is
our inner immunity system, and the
objects of our senses are
temptations that eat up our
willpower or attack and shatter the
immunity inside! How to enhance
our willpower? We learn from the
scriptures and legions of examples,
that a kind of self-discipline needs
to be practised to develop or
strengthen our willpower. It will be
strengthened by taking up some
practices, and not by merely
intellectually understanding and
appreciating the fact that we need
to do it.
There is a story about Starbucks.
Though the context is very
commercial, it may teach us
something more general. The owner
of Starbucks, Howard Schultz,
devised and introduced an
innovative concept for training his
employees. He said, “We are not in
the coffee business serving people,
but in the people business serving
coffee.” Starbucks’ training is such
that when an employee is taken,
s/he will be trained keeping in view
the need of the customers, i.e., the
customers’ need and mental state
that lead them to a coffee shop!
Schultz’s idea of training not only
teaches employees a mere business-
skill, but a life-skill as well. All of
us want to do good to others. But
before that we all need to have our
own anger, greed, jealousy, etc.,
under control in order to be helpful
to others who are in need of our
mature understanding. Swami
Bhuteshanandaji Maharaj once told
a gathering of monks who were
discussing the idea of how to
‘spread the message’ (bhava-
prachar) of RamakrishnaVedanta
ideals, “We need to first purify our
own attitude (bhava-samshuddhih)
as to why we want to do good to
others, and then preach unto
others.” He also told that both
these — bhava-prachar, and bhava -
10
samshuddhih — should be practised
simultaneously. He also once said
that doing good to people should be
taken up as an ideal, not as a
policy. Unfortunately, these types
of life-skills are not taught in our
schools, in our families, and in our c
o m m u n i t i e s . O u r community
ethics and duties have failed in this
respect.
Three things bring about a change
in our life: a) A Goal b) Inspiration
c) Preparedness to confront
obstacles
Willpower is actually a learnable
skill. One can learn it by repetition
and by habit. It will go on becoming
stronger and stronger if we go on
doing the same thing again and
again. This is similar to how when
we train our muscles by exercise —
they gradually become stronger and
stronger. What do we need in order
to build up new habits or to change
existing habits? Experimentations
with patients who are
orthopedically almost incapacitated
have shown that we need three
things to bring about a change in
our life, (i) a goal, (ii) inspiration,
and (iii) preparedness for
confronting obstacles like
unwillingness and fear of suffering.
(i) A Goal: Believe it or not, if
we have a goal in life, things
will automatically change,
readjust, and ‘harmoniously’
fall in place, helping us to
reach the goal. We will then
be willing to appreciate the
need for changes. Otherwise
life will be an aggregate of
different varieties of ‘time-
pass’. What is special about
it then if we live for many
years, suppose even a
hundred years? Our
education-systems and
training programmes have
taught us how to spend
‘time’ enjoying, not how to
live ‘life’ meaningfully.
Observations carried out by
Harvard Professors in the
marshmallow experiment
with children showed that
our curriculum and the
training that we receive in
the schools don’t help us
much. They are merely
targeted towards a job-
oriented life. This is a kind
of a programme which
targets something which is
lifeless. We have been
programmed like robots. No
doubt, we are gene-
machines. But in modern
times, as I have said earlier,
we have become what can
be called ‘programmed
gene-machines’! Is there any
difference between the
Robots and genemachines?
No. This is sadly our case
when we have failed to
connect the curricular
programmes to life-skills. It
is aptly said that ‘CEOs are
hired for their intellect and
business expertise, and fired
for a lack of emotional
intelligence.’19 That is why
we see that great
management professors
managing problems in big
companies are failing at
home — many of them
actually fail to manage a
small family! Why? Because
there is no life in all these
skills! People trained in
these arts are behaving just
like ‘programmed gene-
machines’ or robots.
11
Unfortunately, it is the same
story in religious institutions
too! Pastors or priests are
academically trained with
accredited degrees to lead
prayers and sermons in
congregations. But in society
and families they lead a life
not anyway different than
that led by ordinary worldly
people! It is also a true fact
that sometimes these people
enjoy special religious
privileges, which they
misuse in order to lead a
despicable worldly life!
(ii) Inspiration: The second
significant thing is called
‘inspiration’. If you sincerely
have a goal, then the goal
will automatically generate
inspiration in you. It is
reported in the book The
Power of Habits by Charles
Duhigg that there was an
orthopedic patient in a
facility who would suffer
from excruciating pain
walking even a few steps. He
missed his dear wife, and so
he was given a task after his
heart — occasionally
meeting his wife at the
nearby bus stand. What did
the task mean for him? It set
a goal and an inspiration.
Let us recall the idea of
epigenetics. All our
behavioural impressions (or
samskaras, in Sanskrit) are
present in our frontal lobe of
the brain. In order to effect
change in our habits we
need to activate some non-
genetic variations, three of
which are: motivation, our
task demand, and our
 emotional state. All these
form part of our inspiration.
(iii) Preparedness: What did he,
the aforementioned
physically handicapped
person, need for himself to
achieve his goal of meeting
his wife? He needed to
prepare himself for the walk
up to the bus stand. As for
his preparedness, he used to
take some emergency
medicines with him in case
there would be any
unbearable pain on the way.
He did achieve the feat of
walking to the bus stop. And
many times he did not need
those tablets!
This preparedness is much dependent on
our ‘willpower’. When we look at the
genesis of our habits, we see that for each
habit there is a root cause, which created
that particular habit. Suppose there is a
die-hard habit. We will see that it was
based on some strong craving. Old habits
die hard, they say. If we have an old habit,
we see that it is based on some old
craving. Likewise, strong habits are based
on strong cravings, and these cravings have
a common name called ‘desire’ (or kama in
Sanskrit). In order to effect any change in
our ‘desire’, we need, as I have already
indicated, a strong willpower. The Yoga
Sutras say that we are not able to enhance
our willpower because of our ‘pleasure
pursuit’, which eats up our will power.
What is this pleasure pursuit? We are all
running after happiness. This happiness has
three names at three levels. When we
derive happiness using our physical body, it
is called pleasure. When we derive
happiness using our mind, it is called joy.
And when we derive happiness following
our spiritual practices, it is called bliss.
Physical pleasure is inferior to mental joy
and mental joy is inferior to spiritual bliss.
In other words, spiritual bliss is superior to
12
mental joy, and mental joy is superior to
physical pleasure. It will not be wise for us
to use our physical body in such a way that
it takes away our mental joy; and so on.
This ‘pleasure pursuit’ has to be changed
or reoriented. In order to do that we need
to be aware of our desire or kama which
diverts our attention from the real goal.
Desire has objects at three levels —
physical, mental and spiritual. There are
some ways to changing our habits at these
levels. That is what I want to discuss now
to end this write up. One can take help of
one or two or all of them.
The Gita advises us to include God as the
last of the five conditions of our self-
effort
a) Rehabilitation Therapy: Discipline
applied from the outside.
The first thing is that we can change
the habits or start with a new habit by
using force. That is what is called
rehabilitation in modern language.
People are taken to rehabilitation
homes and are asked to practise the
same thing again and again, i.e.,
repeating the same thing again and
again. But we have seen that after this,
in many cases, the rate of success is
not very high. Some successes are
there, but that does not stay for a long
time. That is why, in contrast, the
Alcoholics Anonymous has become so
famous. They have a different kind of
process to achieve rehabilitation.
b) By Self-effort: This is the hardest
thing, and we all know that. Still,
we can try to use our will power
for our well-being. The Yoga
Sutras mention this process as the
way to achieve cessation of
modifications of the mind.20
However, we need to understand
that strength does not mean that
we cannot ask for help. There is
 the story of a small boy who was
trying to overturn a big stone.
After a while, the boy stood up
being unable to do it. His father
who was observing him asked,
“Are you sure that you have
employed all the energy available
to you?” Upset the boy replied,
“How can you suspect me about
that? I am out of breath and
perspiring!” The father patted on
his back and said, “Son, it is not
that I don’t see it. But you have
not asked for my help which is
available to you!” Let us do it
ourselves with the help that is
available for us.
c) Spiritual Help:
(i) Help from God: This is
what the Alcoholic
Anonymous tries to
propagate. In seven out of
twelve points the alcoholics
have to practise speaking
directly about God. That is
why when the professors
from Harvard University
came to study as to why
and how AA was having so
much success without their
stamp of approval, they
found that AA was speaking
of God. The Gita advises us
to include God as the last
of the five conditions of our
selfeffort: a) one’s body
which is the seat of action,
b) the ego claiming to be
the actor, c) the several
instruments of actions like
the senses, the mind etc,
d) the varied and the
distinct types of
movements involved, and
finally e) the unknown
factor called God. 21
13
(ii) Help from a Guide: We can
get help from a
guide/teacher/guru. We
know it is not easy for us to
accept this proposition
because ‘we have never
learnt how to obey’. This is
not the kind of a submissive
attitude that makes us
weak and dependent. Many
fables of success show that
great achievements in the
world of science,
technology, innovation,
education etc., stand on
the shoulders of
teachers/guides/ gurus! So
this is an undeniable fact
about our success in the
perceptible material world.
How great would be the
need in case of our journey
into the unknown
nonmaterial spheres!
H o w e v e r, t h e journey begins
at the material level. Once a
disciple of one of our Swamis
approached him and asked,
“Swamiji, when I sit for
meditation I remember all the
works that I forgot to do during
the day! It is difficult to focus the
mind on the object of my
meditation!” The Swamiji told
him, “That is not something
unique in your case only! Well, for
the first ten minutes you think of
your work. Any urgent work, any
difficult work, any important work
you have to do, concentrate on
that, and analyse that work to find
out what way you can achieve
success. Think of the defects of
that work or think of the threats
that may appear. Use at least ten
minutes, and then try to
concentrate on God.” That
brought huge success for the
disciple. The practice of
concentration on material things
taught the mind how to
concentrate on higher ideals. The
mind is the same. And we do not
use a different mind for spiritual
practices. That is what the Yoga
Sutras have said: if you are
concentrating on a material
object, obviously your success will
be quick. That will also inspire the
mind to take to a higher kind of
concentration, which is called
meditation.22 The gist is, if you
cannot think of God immediately
or instantly, then begin in this
way; God will appear in your life
in the course of practice. This is
like an art.
One needs help and guidance from
practising spiritual people who are
called teachers, guides or gurus. A
guru helps us to come out or take
advantage of our defects and
overcome our difficulties.
There is a wonderful story about a
Judo teacher. One of his students,
like all others, aspired to become
a champion. He was really w o r k i
n g h a r d a n d preparing himself.
He was excelling in his practices.
But then, as ill luck would have it,
he met with an accident and lost
his ‘left’ h a n d . H e b e c a m e
depressed. But still he did not give
up his life’s goal. He went to his
teacher and asked for his advice.
The teacher said, “I don’t know
how to help you. But there is an
old Judo teacher who does not
teach much nowadays, but may be
able to help you!” The old Judo
teacher said, “I will try.” The
teacher started training him. But
the teacher went on teaching him
the same move over and over
again! There came the day when
there was a competition. In spite
of his desire to participate in the
tournament, the student did not
gather enough confidence. The
14
teacher said, “You go and register
your name. Let us try.” Then he
went on winning round after round
and reached the final. Now he was
scared! He told his teacher, “I
don’t know how I’m winning! But
now my strong opponent is going
to kill me!” The teacher
encouraged him. He went and
won. He could not believe that he
won. He came back to the teacher
and asked, “How is it that I won! I
know only one move.” The teacher
said, “I taught you the most
difficult move which is almost
impossible to defend. Your
opponent has only one chance to
defeat you and that is by grabbing
you by your left hand!” This is how
his defect became a boon for him
by the help of his guide.
The practice of concentration on
material things teaches the mind
how to concentrate on higher
ideals
(iii) Satsanga: The third thing is
called satsanga — coming
together of like-minded
people for a harmonious
and inspirational holy
company. I think, this is t h
e b e s t h e l p a n ordinary
person can take advantage
of in order to form and
reform habits. It is
interesting to note that
Alcoholics Anonymous use
the same method in the
form of the group
discussions. People share
their experiences so that
they have an occasion to
appreciate the truth of how
all are struggling to
transform themselves. That
helps. That gives them
inspiration to go on with
 their own individual
struggle.
In our spiritual life, when we go to
a satsanga, it is not that we are all
realised people, that we are
emanating light all around us, and
that Gods and angels are hovering
above us! No; we all assemble
there as ordinary people, as simple
seekers. We are going to discuss
thoughts about God and discuss
nice ideas of moral life based on
spirituality. In the process, we get
inspiration from the fact that all
of us are trying to reach the goal.
So the idea of satsanga is
highlighted in the scriptures.
Purity can only be reached
through our re-oriented and
well-directed habits.
Conclusion
There is a prayer for unity in the
Rig Veda, the oldest of the
scriptures in the world: “May we
all (participants in the prayer)
move in harmony, speak in one
voice; let our minds be in
agreement. In order for such unity
to form, we offer a common
prayer. May our intentions and
aspirations be alike, so that a
common objective unifies us
all.”23 This is a prayer to make us
aware of our responsibilities. It
acts on our minds to reorient its
functions towards the ultimate
goal in life, which is the real
meaning of our life.
Sri Krishna looked into the
structure of our inner struggle and
his words help to transform us.24
He says that it may be easy for one
to get rid of the outer gross part of
one’s real habits (rasa-varjyam);
but the roots of the main habits
15
are lodged deep inside the mind in
the form of the impressions (rasa)
of physical enjoyments. This
means that we may be able to give
up gross things which are
disturbing us, but the thoughts of
enjoyments derived earlier from
those things still remain in the
mind as impressions, and
unfortunately, we will continue to
enjoy their company, mentally!
Discipline, self-effort and spiritual
help are things which can help us
to effectively reduce the intensity
of those impressions.
There are apparently contradictory
statements in the Upanishads like,
“The ultimate Reality cannot be
realised by the mind”,25 and again
“It is with the help of the mind
that It can be reached”! But they
speak of two different minds — “It
cannot be realised by an impure
mind”, and again “It can be
realised by a pure mind”. We have
to get into those habits that make
our mind pure. Sri Ramakrishna
says, “The pure intellect, pure
mind, and pure Atman are one and
the same.” This purity can only be
reached through our reoriented
and well-directed habits. There is
no other way more effective than
this. (Concluded.)
References: 17) Gita, 6.34 18)
Gita, 3.36 19) Emotional
Intelligence by Daniel Goleman 20)
Yoga Sutras, 1.2 & 1.21 (Yogah
chittavritti-nirodhah, and tivra-
samvegānām āsannah) 21) Gita,
18.14 22) Yoga Sutras, 1.35:
vishayavati vā pravittirutpannā
manasah sthiti-nibandhini 23) Cf.
Rig Veda, 191.2-4:
samgacchadhvam samvadadhvam
… 24) Gita, 2.59 25) Kena
Upanishad, 1.6: yan manasā na
manute
16