Thank You, for being a part of The Total Package family! The Selling Power of Your Copy Take the world’s most powerful BULLET Clayton is thrilled to be able to and FASCINATION secrets (stolen directly share with you the secrets he’s used to attract more than 3 million new from decades of red-hot controls) … customers and rake in over $1 Billion in sales for his clients. Combine them with proven principles for boosting response, both online and off … Make sure you dig into our free archives to get the nitty-gritty details And finally filter it all through one of the most behind … RESPECTED copywriters to ever pick up a pen … How Clayton helped Security Rare Coin skyrocket Do all this and you’ve got a wickedly effective new from $3.5 million in sales to bullet-writing system that will change your copywriting over $120 million (a 3,400% and marketing, almost overnight! increase) – in a little over a year … By Anthony Flores Executive Editor “If you’ve ever wondered how The secrets he used to to write response-boosting, QUADRUPLED sales at Fellow Business Builder, Blanchard & Company to order-pulling BULLETS and over $115 million per year … W hy should you read — and HEED — the secrets I reveal in the following pages? FASCINATIONS that literally keep your prospect tossing and turning, unable to sleep How he attracted more than one million new, paying Simple: Because the ability to write until he orders your product customers to Phillips great bullets and fascinations is one of the … then this will be one of the Publishing in just over 3 most powerful skills you’ll EVER acquire most important marketing years … as a copywriter. And the ability to recognize letters you ever read!” How he helped make Safe both good and bad ones is essential to being Money Report the largest a great direct response entrepreneur or developed the ability to write world-class publication of its kind in the marketing director. bullets and it’s rare to see a big package world by QUADRUPLING without at least 10-20, if not many more. its customer file … Don’t believe me? Just scan through a stack of controls. You’ll find TONS of Plus, it’s hard not to love them — these Plus, you’ll discover more business sales letters and even larger promotions little benefit-packed gems do so much in so building, direct marketing and based almost entirely on great bullets and little space! copywriting secrets, insights and fascinations. This is especially true when strategies from the rest of The Total 9 times out of 10, bullets and selling books — like Boardroom and Package team. All of them real-world Rodale do through the mail. And like many fascinations offer benefits … but GREAT experts working right now online and Internet marketers do online. ones do much more than that. off to get bigger winners, more often. Just about every great A-list writer has The best bullets and fascinations often
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do the following: Others have a slightly different The Screaming Eagle™ approach. Clayton’s good friend and is published monthly by l Powerfully stimulate seven-figure writer Parris Lampropoulos Clayton Makepeace and The Total Package™ curiosity and intrigue … begins by going through his research as part of the l Seduce your prospect and writing as many as 700 fascinations. Easy Writers™ Marketing Club. to read, read, READ! Talk about discipline! He’ll probably only keep about 100 of them, but Parris It is owned by l Build desire — little by little likes to have about seven times more The Profit Center™ — by creating the urge to PO Box 750 than he could ever use. “know” the secret your bullet Waynesville, NC • 28786 promises to reveal … This is an elite strategy because it guarantees that every bullet or fascina- For customer support please contact us at: l Seize your prospect’s attention tion that makes it into the final draft is care@makepeacetotalpackage.com and keep him zooming through exceptional. He gets to select strictly or call 800-827-0940 (US) the copy … from the “cream of the crop” rather 828-456-9277 (INT) than some good ones and a bunch l Make your sales message more readable (which always boosts of mediocre ones. (I’m sure you’ve Rights of reproduction and distribution response!) … seen this problem — especially online of this newsletter are strictly reserved. — where you’re reading a long string l Pump up your promotions with of bullets and 3 out of every 4 are Any unauthorized reproduction more variety and prevent the mediocre, at best. You can bet the or distribution of information disastrous “flat” benefit syndrome writer didn’t write seven times what he contained herein is expressly forbidden … needed and then select his very best!) without the written consent of The Total Package™. l Crush “headline block,” instantly In looking at Parris’s packages, I see delivering a wealth of fantastic how this also gives him so much variety EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR: headline possibilities … in his bullet sections, making them more Clayton Makepeace intriguing and enjoyable to read. This is l And much, much more! crucial — especially in promotions that EXECUTIVE EDITOR: How to write bullets involve lots of fascinations — because Tony Flores that make it IMPOSSIBLE even just one or two bad ones can cause for your package your prospect to start “skimming.” In GENERAL MANAGER: Wendy Makepeace to be put down some cases, a few bad bullets alone can get your promotion tossed! Writing great bullets and fascina- GRAPHIC DESIGN: tions is truly a science. It’s about taking Remember — Brian K. Wilson all the right tools and then assembling your #1 job is to keep a little powerhouse of desire. your prospect READING! Circulation Manager: Martha Shelton If you’re writing them for a book As you know, the fundamental or a premium booklet, you’ll typically goal in copy is to MAKE THE SALE. begin by researching the daylights out And, without a doubt, the BEST way of your subject. to do that is to keep your prospect reading. Legends like Gene Schwartz would begin reading a book multiple times, Have you ever noticed when highlighting key points and tidbits with you’re reading sales letters … if you each read. Then he’d have his secre- read or study a good one from cover tary or a typist type up all of his notes to cover … you start feeling like you (which would often add up to a 60-70 WANT the product? That’s the magic of long copy! But it ONLY works if page document!) Finally, he’d organize you KEEP your prospect reading all the research information and begin the way to the end. filling in the running text, creating the fascinations as they came to him. That’s why Clayton constantly
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here’re the main types I’ve discovered: “Having an army of killer 1. The “how to” bullet bullets/fascinations at your disposal This is probably the single most gives you a whole slew of fantastic headline popular type of bullet/fascination and you see loads of it, both online and off. and subhead possibilities. Keep your eye It works because we seem to have a natural affinity and curiosity for “how out for those that will most to” information. That’s especially true forcefully grab his attention.” if the “how to” information is tied into our deepest feelings and desires. That’s the key to making it work. talks about systematically weeding out headline ideas and possibilities. “weak links” in your copy — because l How to use the secrets of Some of the very best writers “loading” your body for maximum weak links cause you to lose readership. in the business will often begin their power! (Traditional swings rob you And ultimately cause you to lose sales. writing process with bullets and of this potential power — while the Because they’re so easy to read, bullets fascinations. Triple Coil Swing actually increases can be the deadliest of weak links. That way, when it’s time to write it two-fold!) That’s why, if you bore your the headline, you’ve literally got l How to make yourself safer prospect with dull or repetitive bullets, dozens … if not HUNDREDS of than 89% of other car passengers the best case scenario is that he starts possibilities for a headline. — page 389. skimming and scanning (the opposite of what you want). This is one step One of the best recent examples l How to rub your stomach from putting the letter down or of a winning headline that began as a away. The simplest and most throwing it in the trash. bullet is from the control for Bottom natural way to lose weight is by this Line Personal: effortless two-minute exercise. So you want to make sure you vary your bullets in such a way that How Doctors Stay Well While 2. The “secret to” bullet your copy has a natural flow, that it Treating Sick People All Day This formula is perfect when you have doesn’t feel artificial. Which means a piece of information not commonly This was simply the most you want some bullets long, others known — something that can be legiti- intriguing, benefit-based bullet out of short, some bullets blind and others many hundreds written by the author mately called a “secret”. Typically the where you reveal the full secret your “secret” is centered on “how” your of the package. If you notice, it also prospect can use immediately. hints of “proof” because it references prospect will get the benefit. Be careful Reading through the bullets doctors. (We’ll discuss the need for not to overuse this idea, however, or should give your prospect an exciting proof/credibility in your bullets more your prospect will become exces- feeling. Almost like he’s on a roller in just a second.) sively skeptical. After all, if everything coaster ride and doesn’t know which is a secret then each one becomes a To work the same magic in your little less unique and enticing. These way he’s gonna be turned next. own writing, just write TONS of bullets bullets MUST be based on information If you can get your prospect covering every shocking, fascinating not commonly known and varied for through a long series of quality bullets/ and emotionally stirring piece of infor- maximum impact. fascinations, your chances of making mation you have. When you’re done, the sale shoot up exponentially! you’ll almost certainly have at least a l The secrets of “Single Finger” few very good headlines in there — and takedowns … using moves that are How to CRUSH indefensible even by a larger and probably at least 1-2 GREAT ones! “headline block” for good more experienced opponent! 21 proven bullet And here’s another really l Little known secrets that can formulas revealed powerful advantage you’ll have when by the best writers steer you to tremendous profits in you become a great bullet/fascina- in the business gold … even if bullion drops to $250 tion writer. Having an army of killer an ounce! bullets/fascination at your disposal After scouring hundreds of gives you a whole slew of fantastic controls looking just for bullets, l The secret of “that schoolgirl
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complexion” revealed! This is the added curiosity! stop the state from stealing it. natural compound you must have for l What you must do immedi- This kind of bullet/fascination can health, beauty and long life. Develops ately before November 15th, 2001 to be applied to many, many pieces of that youthful beauty from within. preserve your wealth and … information. And it’s powerful because 3. The “Why” bullet it alerts him of a possible mistake l What you must do at once if This bullet is ideal for building (tapping into fear emotion), promises you receive a mild shock when you intrigue. Essentially, you’re promising information that will protect your touch an electric appliance — page 26. to reveal why something is a certain prospect from the mistake (benefit), way — with the implication that l What the Corporate Fat Cats and also builds curiosity and intrigue knowing why will make a difference don’t tell you about their CoQ10 because he doesn’t yet know the in your prospect’s life. So make extra supplements … answer. If you’re selling supplements, sure the info your promise presents you could say, “What NEVER to take l What to watch when you’re is … (a) something your prospect is along with Vitamin C …” If you’re in eight feet apart (it’s NOT his eyes instantly curious to know more about the investment market, you could say, — a terrible mistake most fighters and (b) directly beneficial in his life. “What NEVER to invest in as infla- make that gets them hurt) … and l Why if this disaster strikes what to watch inside the two feet tion rises …” The list could go on for the US, you’ll pay up to 15 times “crunch time zone” … to keep miles. more money for cheap imitations of you a precious step ahead of even Along the same lines, you can your favorite supplements — and superbly-trained fighters! present any other type of “What why that’s the good news! You can see more great examples of NEVER” information with leads like l Why up to 70 percent of the “How to” … “What” … and “Why” “Why you should not …” or “The all poisonings happen to children bullets on page 1 (The Safe Money absolute worst …” or “What to avoid under five. And the best prevention Investor Service) of your Ride-Along™ …” — because the premise is exactly of them all. Page 34. in the FREE GIFT #1 sidebar. As you’ll the same. Just play around with the soon see, sidebars can showcase your different versions and see which works l Why you can’t trust your best for your information. Here are a best bullets with tremendous impact. pension fund: Dirty tricks they play few more examples: with your money — and how to stop 5. The “What NEVER” bullet them COLD … If you’ve ever read a Boardroom l Why you should not use soap report, I’d bet big money you’ve seen anywhere but under the arms and 4. The “What” bullet this type of bullet. They popularized it on the genitals. Page 37. “What” bullets work well in two ways. with the following bullet that became l The absolute worst time for First they can give your prospect very a blockbuster headline: specific instructions for action (“What your body to do paperwork or read. you MUST do now to avoid …”). l What never to eat on an airplane. Page 26. Second, they often offer him elusive, The dirtiest, deadliest airplane in l The One Place NEVER to valuable information (“What doctors the whole wide world. Store Your Gold: It’s practically don’t tell you about …”). Both do an engraved invitation to thieves. Here’s another example: a wonderful job of bumping up the Where to store your gold for perceived value of the information, l What never to keep in your maximum safety and convenience. while at the same time hiding it for deposit box. Never. And how to 6. The “PLUS” bullet The “PLUS” bullet is a greed bullet — “When you promise to reveal something it gets your prospect into the mindset of more, more, MORE! Its structure incredibly intriguing — something that’ll isn’t terribly unique — essentially it’s make a huge difference in his life — you just one of the other formulas with a PLUS at the beginning. PLUS bullets create a burning desire for the answer work best at the end of a list, helping finish with power and momentum. that must be fulfilled.” Here’s an example from some of Clayton’s financial self-mailers:
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l PLUS — How to turn the tables on them: Insulate your wealth and then USE their treachery to lock- “Together these bullet formulas allow you to in profit potential of up to 562%! hit every piece of intriguing info from l PLUS my complete list of a variety of angles. Practice using them 1,837 companies that we suspect of fudging their earnings — make sure TODAY and you’ll never write dull your stocks are NOT on this list! or repetitive bullets again.” 7. The “Number” bullet Use this kind of bullet when you can group together multiple ways of l The bathroom medicine shocking TRUTH that can protect doing something, multiple secrets or cabinet is the best place to store medi- you from being fleeced again! cine, right? Wrong! It’s the worst. multiple reasons why something will 10. The “Are you …?” bullet happen. It’s a great way of condensing The facts are on page 120. With this bullet, you ask your pros- unique information into a value-added l “Unscented” products have pect about something you strongly team of enticing secrets, methods or no scent? Sorry. Many are masked believe he’s already doing. Then you ways of delivering a desired benefit. with a chemical that can cause offer him a specific benefit, advice, or l Four ways to stimulate the allergic reactions. Page 24. instructions with as much credibility as possible. This bullet is particularly body to release its own natural pain- 9. The “WARNING” bullet strong because you get your pros- killers. It’s perfect for when you want to pect to say “yes” and nod his head, l The seven little-known signs alert your prospect of a danger ahead. building momentum toward the sale. You’ll often also see the words of internal bleeding and what to do “caution, alert, danger” at the begin- Variations on it can be about each — page 4. ning instead of warning. This is partic- “Do you …?” or “Does your …?” l The world’s two most ularly effective when your promotion or “Is your …?” — all work equally powerful inflation fighting strate- targets the fear emotion. Of course, well! gies: PLUS the stocks that can hand this bullet works much better when l Are you and your doctor you gains of up to 562% as inflation you give proof that you have the solu- making these common mistakes with returns … tion (benefit) to the problem you’re your health? One of the Country’s warning your prospect about. l 3 often overlooked investment most respected M.D.’s exposes the 9 vehicles that can make you up to 10 l WARNING — Your #1 asset deadliest flaws in disease treatment times richer when the next earnings is now in extreme danger! Why the that could be robbing you of your scandal bursts into the headlines. equity in your family’s home may health and hard-earned money. be vulnerable to an all out attack in 8. The “Right … WRONG!” bullet l Does your broker have a “rap 2004-2006 — crucial self-defense … There are times when you’ll be able sheet” with the SEC or NASD? to bank on your prospect having l WARNING: Avoid These 2 Here’s how to find out — FAST! certain assumptions. That’s where this Popular Gold Investments Like The l Do you take any of these 16 kind of bullet comes in. You suggest Plague! Ignoring this single warning popular vitamins or supplements? could leave you broke and holding the assumed idea or belief and then If so, please read this M.D.’s urgent the bag! you immediately debunk it with … warning! WRONG! It’s great because everybody l Cell phone DANGER! Avoid 11. The “Gimmick” bullet wants to know why or how they could sleep disruption from electromag- Here you carefully extract an idea from be wrong about something they thought netic waves … information in your research and put they knew. Especially, if there’s a killer l CAUTION: Washington a creative “spin” on it, assigning it a benefit in knowing the right answer! and Wall Street are conspiring to name. For example, say you’re selling l Sneezing into a tissue HOODWINK YOU! They only a fitness book and you find there’s a prevents colds, right? Wrong! want you to THINK that they’ve body fat test which requires you to Page 2 explains why. cleaned up Wall Street. Discover the pinch certain parts of your body. You
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could create a gimmick like … The surprise to turn around dangerous intrigue or additional benefits to the simple “pinch test” that instantly situations … even when they’re the original claim. tells what your body fat levels are ones who’ve been “jumped” by an Some examples: — with pinpoint, .5% accuracy. assailant unexpectedly! l BUILD ENORMOUS This technique works effectively l Sneaky little arthritis secrets STRENGTH AND MUSCLE because it often combines a benefit that doctors never, ever tell you TONE without exercise! Ten minute with specificity, intrigue/curiosity, about … breakthrough naturally triples your and delivers a precise mechanism for l Sneaky insurance tricks that growth hormone levels. Secretly achieving the benefit. AMAZING! could be costing you an arm and a being used by the New York Mets, And it does this ALL in a couple of leg. Make sure you’re not a victim. Chicago Cubs and many Hollywood simple lines. For an example of this kind of stars. All you do is stand. l The amazing “Towel Hanging” trick that increases the strength bullet (and many others!), see page 2 l BANISH MENSTRUAL of your Ride-Along™. It’s from The CRAMPS FOR GOOD with a of you erection … plus your love- Bob Livingston Letter. common vitamin! Now shown to wipe making stamina … allowing you to supercharge your love-life in a very 13. The “Statement of out over 80% of all cases of cramps. short time! (You have to experi- Interest + Benefit” bullet. l RECOVER FROM LATE- ence these kinds of “rocket burst” This formula works best when you STAGE CANCER, even after it has orgasms to believe they’re possible! have an exciting or intriguing tidbit spread to the bones. Just a tiny dose See page 139.) you can lead with. Then you immedi- of this cutting-edge nutrient has ately follow it with a strong benefit. now been shown to make it happen. l And … the amazing “follow Often you’ll start with a fact and then through” secret that is the founda- use one of the “how to” or “why” 15. The “Specific Question” bullet tion of making long, straight drives types of bullets for the second line. This bullet hooks your prospect by so easy you could cry with joy! This leading with an intriguing question of alone will change your game forever l Drowning is the third leading importance. Just like many of the other … cause of accidental death. But did formulas, what follows must offer you know it’s possible to save a the desired solution either within the l The “optical illusion” that drowning person even if you can’t running text of the copy or the product absolutely destroys most golfers … swim? Page 15. that’s being sold. And, of course, it’s the single most damaging “habit” nearly all amateurs suffer that l You walk into an empty self- always good to mix in credibility, GUARANTEES they will never service elevator late at night and benefit, intrigue and curiosity. experience a consistently great press the button. Before the door l Do you know that one- game! (Once you know the secret, has a chance to close you get back quarter of all household burglars however, you will OWN the course!) out fast. Why? (Nine ways to outwit gain entrance without breaking in? a mugger.) Page 380. 12. The “Sneaky” bullet Here’s how they do it … and how This one is used very selectively by l Platinum Prices Up 90% to get them to stop doing it to you. top writers — because overdoing it since 2002 — Here’s How To Page 157. can make your copy feel contrived. PROFIT: Why platinum prices l Joint bank accounts? Close Not everything can be “sneaky”. are expected to surge throughout them fast and open separate ones … It typically applies when you have 2005. Best coins and bars for profit- or you’ll pay dearly. Page 142. a piece of info that has some sort minded investors. of conspiracy factor … or in less l What time of day are you at 14. The “Direct Benefit” Bullet extreme cases: a hidden, guarded greatest risk for low blood glucose? Here’s where you simply make a or overlooked element. It’s most This surprising answer will put you claim (ideally a unique and powerful often used when there’s something a on alert. one!) in the opening line of your group doesn’t want you to know or is bullet. The first word is usually an 16. The “If … Then” bullet actively hiding from you. action verb, instantly promising the The “If … Then” bullet works l The sneaky ways profes- benefit. Then the next line is spent because it first engages your pros- sional fighters use the element of deepening, proving, and adding pect by inviting him to meet a simple
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requirement. It can also ask him if he’s in a specific “group” or if he’s experiencing some kind of malady or “You never know when one of your best symptom. If you’ve selected the right bullets could become a world-beating piece of info, he’s naturally interested in whether he meets the requirement headline. That’s why it pays to put tons of or is experiencing what you describe. It quickly grabs his attention! energy into them, making every And then he also wants to see single one as powerful as possible.” what happens if he DOES meet the requirement — which becomes the benefit you hit him with in the latter interest. No penalties. No nasty almost anything. half of the bullet. The legendary Gary visits from the Feds. Page 14. l The quickest, easiest ways to Bencivenga is particularly fond of l When cold pizza is the perfect find a broker who won’t cheat you. using these types of statements as fat-loss breakfast. Page 14. headlines and they’ve produced some 19. The “Truth” bullet You can see another example of Use this one when you want to help very big winners for him. this bullet and other great ones on your prospect put a controversial or l If you have a tension head- page 3 of your Ride-Along™. It’s debatable issue to rest. Select pieces ache, here’s why you should forget from Rodale’s Powerfood Nutrition of information that appear conflicting your scalp and concentrate on your Plan promotion — a very bullet-heavy or confusing to him. Then offer him toes. control that features many of the tech- a clear solution in the form of the niques you’re learning in this issue! “Truth”. People love to read about a l If you’ve got just 20 minutes a controversy or commonly held belief month, I guarantee to work a finan- 18. The “Quickest, Easiest” Bullet getting demystified. (You can see a cial miracle in your life. Here you offer to reveal the quickest great example of this on page 4 of the or easiest or simplest way to do some- l If you are now a "B" or Ride-Along™. The second bullet on thing, to achieve a beneficial result. "B+" copywriter, by learning this the page begins with “The real cause” It’s human nature to want to get one unusual secret, you will much — another way to word this same something easier, faster and with less more easily move up quickly into concept. The fourth bullet on the page effort — especially in today’s instant the rarefied ranks of the "A" or says, “The truth about fish oil.”) gratification driven society! You can even "A+" writers who command make this bullet work very simply or l The truth about the biggest freelance fees and make you can pile on additional possibili- mutual funds. What your fortunes in royalties. ties (from the formulas above) for a broker doesn’t tell you could cost 17. The “When” bullet wonderful one-two punch. you up to 5% this year. Perfect for when you’re promising l The easiest way to beat out l THE TRUTH ABOUT TUNA. a benefit at a very specific time. It’s even the most ferocious competi- Is it good for you? Or does it contain great because you’re implicitly saying, tion in your marketplace, even harmful metals that can ruin your “Do this at a certain time, and you’ll when their marketing is brilliant, immune system? See page 70. get a guaranteed result.” Your pros- their budget huge and their copy pects will naturally want to know l THE TRUTH ABOUT is so persuasive, it could have been ALCOHOL. Will it interfere with when he can get the benefit and how written by Claude Hopkins himself. muscle growth? Will it help your he can get it, so intrigue and curiosity l And finally, the easiest way heart and circulatory system? See are automatically built in. to be a master of persuasion — the page 274. l When the IRS has to pay you simple, 12 word sentence that will 20. The “Better” Bullet interest! If they miss this deadline make you one of the most persua- When there’s an assumption that by a single day, they’re legally obli- sive people on the planet, no matter something’s good but YOU have gated to do so. Page 15. what field you're in. This is the something even better — use this "master secret" of knowing how l When it’s safe to ignore bullet! It’s a great way to sneak right to persuade almost anyone to do the April 15th filing deadline. No under your prospect’s BS detector and
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slip in your benefit, build curiosity and nutrient you’ll ever need for heart l How to profit create momentum. A possible varia- health. It’s not expensive — but from stocks in 2006 … tion on this same concept is to lead there are at least 7 different forms with the word “beyond.” of it and only ONE works. To find This bullet obviously sucks. It’s out which one, see page 23. flat … it builds no intrigue or curiosity l BETTER THAN THE … it lacks specificity — really the BENCH PRESS. For a broader, l The single most explosive only positive is that it offers a benefit: more muscular chest, the uncanny investment in this coming crash. It profit. exercise on page 17 works wonders. takes advantage of my three proven growth factors and is still available But even then, the lack of l BETTER THAN SQUATS! specificity makes the benefit appear dirt-cheap. But it won’t stay that Try this leg exercise on page 29. It common and less believable. After way for long! takes less time than squats and will all, you’ve probably been exposed to not injure your back! Now that you have this army of hundreds (if not thousands) of oppor- hot new formulas … USE THEM. tunities to make money or “profit” … l BEYOND THE BEDROOM! Whenever you’re creating bullets/ and almost none of them work. Other rooms can spice up your sex fascinations for your promotions, life. Every home contains sexual On the other hand, if you said: attack each piece of information from secrets waiting to be unlocked … at least 2-3 different angles using l How to make 307% profit DAY 3 shows you how to make your the formulas that fit best. You’ll be from gold stocks in 2006 … lovemaking more fun! shocked at how much better they 21. The “Single” Bullet come out and how much more variety Now that’s a different story! Speci- This type of bullet is best used when you have in your final draft! ficity is the key ingredient in bullet you have a piece of information writing. The 307% implies you’ve done The 3-step or benefit that exceeds all others. some sort of research or analysis, that “Makepeace Makeover” you’re not just pulling this idea out of And you have proof. It’s effective that supercharges because you’re promising some- you-know-where. And the “gold stocks” ANY bullet in a matter thing that stands head and shoulders provides a more specific mechanism for of minutes above anything else being offered. achieving these kinds of profits. You’re promising to cut directly to There’s really no excuse for Revealing the mechanism your the most powerful and often exclusive writing poor bullets. You just need to prospect will use to achieve the possibility. Provided the benefit is get clear on the critical elements that claim is HUGE in today’s saturated strong and credibility is there — who make a good one, and then be sure you wouldn’t want that? include each element into your writing. markets. By mechanism, I’m talking about the means, method or system l The single most important This is a process I learned your prospect will use to achieve sentence you will ever read about personally from Clayton. Let’s try it the benefit. Some examples are: a how to create powerful marketing. — taking a weak bullet and give it a proprietary investment system, certain It contains just nine words, and they quick Makepeace-Makeover! nutrient(s) in a weight-loss pill, new will forever change your approach advances in technology, etc. Showing Often, especially in “institu- to marketing. your prospect that you have a unique tional” advertising, you’ll see dread- l The single most important fully flat bullet/fascinations like: mechanism helps differentiate your claim from others making similar ones. You have a new way to get him “Whenever you’re creating what he wants. And this gives you a better chance at having readers at least bullets/fascinations for your promotions, consider your claim. They’re more attack each piece of information from open to believing it. OK — back to our example. Our at least 2-3 different angles using bullet is decent at this point but it the formulas that fit best.” could still be better. There’s a benefit, some intrigue — your prospect wants to profit and he’s probably curious
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about how he could profit 307% from gold stocks. But then again — he’s busy and he’s probably reading many “Revealing the precise mechanism your prospect will use to fulfill your promise other similar claims from other invest- ment newsletters and headlines. Something more is needed. is mega-powerful in today’s saturated, So let’s add a tad bit more intrigue and credibility, let’s make him VERY skeptical markets. It’s a fantastic way to SURE that this is a real opportunity. introduce benefit, credibility and Now what if we said: intrigue, all at the same time.” l How to exploit Warren Buffet’s “Bull Market X-Factor” and make 307% profits on gold stocks in the next 60 days … he promotes investment newsletters of Clayton’s bullet principles. and supplements much more often WOW! Now we’ve got something How to write world-class than books — will often contain fewer here. Your prospect is being offered: bullets when you’ve got bullets/fascinations than a package for (a) the benefit of making a profit, (b) no mystery or secret Boardroom or Rodale. When he does the intrigue/curiosity of how he can do create bullets/fascinations, it’s typi- Also, because Clayton works it using Warren Buffet’s “Bull Market cally to sell the premiums, for some of heavily in the supplement field, he’ll X-Factor” and (c) the credibility that the sidebars … others are used in the often have to create pure benefit he’ll make precisely 307% on gold deck copy and the back cover. sequences of bullets (where he’s not stocks, using a very specific strategy. hiding intriguing or fascinating info). And he’ll do it within the next 60 To begin, Clayton goes through days! the research, the premiums, the Here are some pure benefit bullets rough draft and then creates many from a health promotion he wrote: This is a very good bullet and more bullets/fascinations than he’ll l The brain cells that control yet still fairly short. We could have need in the final draft. Next he care- created something longer but this one learning, reasoning, memory and fully selects the best possibilities for was already packed with plenty of coordination are being rejuvenated each section — and then edits them great information. (For some examples and sparking to life again … according to the process we just went of longer bullets that work very well, through above. He makes sure they l Nerve endings, once deadened, see page 5 of your Ride-Along™. It’s have gut-level, greed-tickling impact. are now being revived and elec- from the Real Health promotion that trified. Creaky, inflamed, painful has been mailing for years.) Finally, Clayton often takes his joints are being soothed, renewed BEST bullets and fascinations and puts Ultimately remember that it’s not and rendered pain-free … them in the most important places: about how big or complex your bullets the front and back cover. Once he’s l Entire organs — from his eyes are — it’s about how believably they expanded upon the headline, he’ll often and ears … to his heart, lungs and seduce and build DESIRE. That’s all jump right into a series of bullets that liver … to his stomach, pancreas that matters! bribe the prospect into reading the report and intestines — and even his Clayton’s personal or publication. Then the back cover will sexual organs — are being revi- practice for creating also be packed with 5-10 teaser bullets talized and are returning to their killer bullets that compel the prospect to open up and normal functions … and fascinations find out the answers inside. The trick with these kinds of Clayton often looks for a series of For example, look at page 6 and bullets is to make them as read- benefits, steps in a procedure or other 7 of your Ride-Along™. On page 6, able and interesting as possible. It’s copy points that he can group using you’ll see very powerful bullets used as more difficult to create curiosity and bullets, numbers, letters, etc. He’s the deck copy (beginning with “4 bald- intrigue because they’re not “blind,” looking to add clarity and impact. faced lies”). And then on page 7, four promising elusive information. But killer bullets suck you into opening up you can at least make sure the benefit And his promotions — because the report. Both are perfect examples is (a) clear, (b) something desired by
September 8, 2006 www.makepeacetotalpackage.com Page
your prospect and (c) that you use get rich with real estate? THINK on his list (www.bencivengabullets. strong verb choices like he did (dead- AGAIN! Why you’re about to have a com) — you need to jump onto that ened, rejuvenated, sparking, revived, second chance to become a real estate site and sign up ASAP. Each bullet is a electrified, renewed, revitalized). millionaire: page 5 picture-perfect example of everything you’ve learned. Here they are: Also, as you see on Ride-Along™ l 8 Deadly Real Estate Traps: page 8, these pure benefit bullets can Avoid These Profit-Killers At All l The easiest way to control the also be used to enhance your guar- Costs! The size of your monthly process of persuasion rather than antee presentation. At the bottom of payment can make the difference merely guess at it. You’ll learn that the page, there are six bullets begin- between a profitable real estate invest- persuasion, like music, comes down ning with, “Avoid any brewing disas- ment and a costly one. Here are 8 to a few simple notes. Master them, ters …” that make the benefits clear pitfalls to avoid when shopping for and you can play an infinite variety and compelling. your next mortgage! Page 6 of melodies that are music to your … Or another strategy he uses is l Thinking About Becoming A prospects’ ears. to present horrifying alternatives: Landlord? Get ready to raise the rent! Right off the bat, you see that this The secret reason why landlords are is an example of Bullet Formula #18, l Ages your eyes: Free radicals have about to get a LOT richer … Page 7 the “Quickest, Easiest” bullet. And it been shown to damage your chro- mosomes and block the enzymes Other times, he’ll even create a offers a direct benefit — you’ll learn needed to repair your DNA. label. This series, “7 Guilty Secrets how to consciously control persuasion Drug Companies Do NOT Want and how to do it easily. This benefit is l Taxes your brain: Research actually targeted at the more sophis- You To Know” was also touted on the from the New England Journal of ticated writer (ideal prospects for cover of the piece as a reason to read it: Medicine shows that the more free Gary’s $5,000 seminar) and it works radical hits your brain is exposed FACT #1: Drug Companies because although writers at this level to, the slower the response in Kill Tens of Thousands Each Year: understand persuasion, they desper- nerve synapse communication. Many of today’s most-often prescribed ately want to have greater control over Which means these little “bad medications are not only useless, but the process (just like he does!). guys” could be hacking away at extremely dangerous — crippling and your brain-speed and intelligence killing as many Americans each year as Next, he creates an analogy with at this very moment! died in the 18 years of the Vietnam war. music to make you believe that the process can be simplified. Surpris- How to create a “theme” FACT #2: They Do It Knowingly ingly, this is actually the credibility for your bullets that — For Money: The ultra-rich U.S. component of the bullet because it maximizes their impact! drug industry — the single most profit- gets you to believe that — just like able businesses in America — is guilty Other times, Clayton will billboard a few simple notes of music — this of using bogus research, distorted benefits, meaning he’ll create a tightly secret will get you to the heart of reporting, and bald-faced lies to push persuasion and do it more automati- connected group and put them on the deadly and ineffective drugs onto cover of the promotion. The advantage cally, with less effort. unsuspecting doctors and patients. of “theming” your bullets like this is And lastly, he deepens the benefit that you can hit a certain topic from a Let’s strip down by adding the idea that once you “get” variety of angles. Your prospect will some examples to this persuasion secret, you’ll be able to get the feeling that you’re thorough the bare essentials successfully use it in a wide variety of and that he’ll be getting a comprehen- In this section we’re going to take situations. Notice the colloquial expres- sive exposé that’ll change his life! bullets from some of the best writers sion, “music to my ears” is adapted to The fascinations below in the business and reveal exactly this benefit as “music to your prospect’s are from a recent promotion what makes them tick. You’ll see how ears.” Colloquial expressions like for Your Money Report: they harness the secrets revealed in this are extremely effective in bullets this issue for maximum response. because they say more — often MUCH l Great Real Estate MORE — with fewer words. Investments At A DISCOUNT! These are from Gary Bencivenga’s Think rising mortgage rates mean promotion for his retirement seminar l You will create intense desire you’ve missed your opportunity to that he held last year and if you’re not for your new product and yours
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alone. In other words, once you introduce your product this way, your market will never again be “Colloquial expressions are extremely satisfied with your competitors’ effective in bullets because products. Buyers will seek your product out specifically, demanding they say more — often MUCH MORE exactly the unique features you described in your advertising. — with far fewer words.” This bullet is actually part of a continuous sequence, all based on a tion mark. But that’s WRONG! And its benefit is perfectly targeted. Every single secret for launching new prod- because the prospect’s natural assump- guy wants to be able to replenish ucts successfully. That’s another smart tion has just been shredded to pieces, his “youthful” testosterone and way to use your bullets — which he’s baffled and now wants to know you better believe that EVERY guy Clayton does all the time and we the answer even more! wants to experience “more frequent, briefly touched upon earlier in this more intense, and more pleasurable This creates wonderfully inter- issue. Most of the time, you’ll see orgasms!” The fact that it hits home so active reading if you’re a prospect: precisely with what guys want allows bullets that are based on a wide range you’re told about an exciting benefit him to leave out the typical level of of information and seem to be put … you’re teased by the hidden infor- proof and specificity you’d need. As together with no particular order or mation … you think you know what pattern. There are LOTS of situations long as you make most of your bullets the answer is … but then what you where that works fine. specific and credible, big promise think is ruled out … and you end up bullets like this — ones that hit your really wanting to know what in god’s But other times, it’s even more prospect’s emotional nail on the head name he’s talking about! It engages effective to have sections of bullets — can work wonders for your copy. you and builds desire — the more where each new one feeds off the often you do this to a prospect in the l The “Pre-Coital Secret” (only previous one. You benefit from the course of a promotion, the more likely recently made public by a famous bullets being tightly and sequentially he’ll become a buyer. female sex therapist) that breaks connected. That’s what’s done in this the code on giving any woman an promotion and it’s often a life-saver Sex sells … and sexual explosive orgasm … every time you because it means you don’t have to bullets sell even better! make love! Page 114. accomplish as much in any one bullet. These are bullets from a very edgy You just introduce benefits and then This is a “Gimmick” and “Secret” promotion — one written by copy explain a little about why it works. As bullet and if you’re a guy, it’s hard legend John Carlton (Special thanks you can see in this example, there’s not to have desired flamed when you to John for letting me use these bullets not always a need for an extreme level read this. Again, what guy wouldn’t and others earlier on). Bullets and of specificity or proof. And that’s OK want to know this mysterious and fascinations make up about 80% of — as long as you can accomplish that very specific secret — credibly this eight-page letter. And even though in other bullets from the same section. “made public” by a famous female it was a fight to get it approved, it sex therapist? One that allows him to l How to use a simple punctua- creamed the previous control and give women explosive orgasms, every tion mark to boost your response mailed profitably for over five years! time! It’s a slam-dunk, no-brainer. In by 50% or more. No, it's not an These are some of the best examples fact, hold on a second … I’m going to exclamation mark (they often you’ll EVER see: go order this book … decrease response, because they l … Plus … how to replenish smell like hype). l The seven most effective (and manage) a steady new flow ways to seduce the woman of your While this is obviously a “How to” of fresh, youthful testosterone … dreams — compiled by a rare study bullet, Formula #1 — it’s actually also allowing you to finally experience of women themselves! (Plus — the a subtle combination, using another more frequent, more intense, and SINGLE most important thing you formula (the “Right/Wrong” bullet). more pleasurable orgasms! can do to win her love forever … and And it harnesses powerful psychology This “Plus” and “How to” combi- the worst sin you could ever commit because he knows most readers will nation bullet works so well because — an unforgivable act that can assume he’s talking about an exclama-
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destroy your love life!) See page 161. what answers lie inside. about the nightmare of getting audited. So the promise of what you don’t Yet another bullet that has it all. Bullets that helped have to tell an auditor — one that can You get seven ways (the “Number” quickly build a prevent a “fishing expedition” through bullet) to seduce the woman of your direct response giant your records — is more appealing dreams. Again, do you see how he has Before we conclude, I want to than we realize at first glance. the ability to laser-in on the EXACT quickly break down a few of the fasci- benefit his prospects are looking for? Overall, these bullets aren’t nations from the famous, “What Never It’s uncanny and a big reason why terribly complex or sexy. But they’re to Eat on an Airplane” piece because these bullets are so hot. ultra-practical and slowly-but-surely they played a huge role in building they build on each other, working up The proof/credibility is the fact Boardroom up to the direct mail Titan desire in the prospect until he realizes that these seven ways have been it is today. Here they are: that sending for a free-trial of Bottom compiled by WOMEN themselves in l Ever been abused by an Line Personal is well worth a shot. a rare study. Then it adds a “Single uncivil servant … humiliated by Most” bullet that’ll reveal what can Now that you’ve got some self-important official … or cause a man to win or lose her love the secrets, USE them forever. And finally there’s the threat given the runaround by a large to drive your response of committing an unforgivable sin that corporation? Here’s how to write to the moon! a simple letter that creates instant destroys your love life — what you havoc … gets financial satisfaction First off, I URGE you to create your RISK by not seeking out the answer … and gives you sweet revenge. own bullet/fascination archive and add to in this book. WOW. That’s a LOT to it whenever you see a great example. This accomplish in just a few sentences. This “Specific Question” bullet will make you a fantastic copywriter and electrifies prospects’ emotional hot you’ll quickly find yourself creating A+ l The 10 “Come Hither” Sexual buttons — specifically the negative Signals given by women that most bullets each time you pick up your pen! ones everyone so desperately wants men miss entirely! These are the to relieve. The promise of being able When it comes time to begin crafting ultimate secrets of meeting women to create “havoc” for these jerks that your bullets, whip out this report so that — finally revealed by women them- rip the prospect off and humiliate him you have each of the formulas handy. selves and supported by 20 years of is incredibly appealing. It gives him You’ll usually find that 2-3 will fit scientific research! “sweet revenge.” Always look for well with each piece of information you’re Are you starting to see how emotional goldmines like this when basing your bullet on. Simply create a — once you master the formulas in crafting bullets of your own. bullet with each formula and move on. this issue — you can begin combining l The 20 safest banks in the U.S. Once you’ve created more bullets them to hit your prospect’s hot — and the lemons, which spend their than you could ever use, scan through buttons from every possible direction? time lending to third world deadbeats and pick out the most powerfully This bullet combines the “Number” … and real estate hucksters. intriguing ones you can find. formula (10 signals), the “Gimmick” formula (“Come Hither”) and mixes Not only does this bullet offer Keep selecting until you have in the “secrets” element as well. Plus, extremely practical information (Who the right number you need and stra- it’s not just some writer saying this doesn’t use a bank? And who doesn’t tegically arrange and place them — these secrets have been compiled want a “safe” bank?), it also promises throughout your copy. by women and are supported by 20 to reveal scandalous information about banks who lend to “deadbeats” and Follow the guidelines in the report years of scientific research! … practice, practice, PRACTICE “hucksters”. This is shocking, intriguing, It’s clear why this promotion and it’s also very helpful to know. … and you’ll become a killer bullet worked so well. Imagine, as a guy, writer in no time! l What you don’t have to tell an reading through pages and pages of Yours for better copy made easy, IRS auditor — and how to prevent killer bullets like this … with each a “fishing expedition” through your and every one hitting a red-hot desire records. button with sniper-like accuracy. It’s almost impossible to not mail in the We all do taxes every year and Tony Flores postage-paid free-trial card and see almost everybody worries a little Editor, The Screaming Eagle™
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