Early Draft:

Character Profile – Felicity.

My name is Felicity, I’ll be twenty-seven next month. I work as a designer for pet hotels and

I absolutely love it. My dream is to open a pet resort somewhere like Florida or L.A. At the

moment I’m living with my little brother in a small apartment along with two cats and two

dogs. I absolutely love the smell of freshly shampooed carpet after our monthly scheduled

apartment clean. I relax by taking the dogs down to the beach and letting them off their leash

while I read a book in the sun. My most treasured possession is the silk rainbow scarf my

father gave to me on my birthday the year before his passing. The last thing I stole was a pair

of my brother’s socks. The thing I hate most about my appearance is my legs, their too skinny

I think. The last time I was naked in front of another person was last weekend at the nudist

beach I go to regularly. A homeless man told me he loved me last night, I lied and said “I

love you too” so he wouldn’t attack me for no reason. I stay up at night worrying if my

brother will make it home safe from his job as an Uber driver. My biggest regret is not

spending more time being a kid with my brother. I’m quite proud of my organisation of the

Miami Pride float that I run every year. I’ve always wanted to go to Spain and island hop

around as many beaches as possible. I’m afraid I’ll never fall in love.
Final Composition:

Exposure

The beach was a little busier than usual today because it was the same weekend as the annual

pride festival, this brought an influx of locals and out of towners wanting to shed their layers,

let their skin breathe in the open air and feel the keen sting of the salty ocean air. Felicity

found her regular spot under the swaying branches of a palm tree which provided just enough

shade from the sweltering midday sun. Heads turned as she released Archimedes from his

bonds and he lumbered into the water. She watched as onlooker’s faces turned to fear then

quickly to delight as they realized the hulking beast’s only interest was chasing the schools of

tiny fish that ventured too close to the shore. The dog was always a little too slow at catching

them though, but this never stopped his doggedness.

It wasn’t long before Felicity had disrobed, had a quick swim with Archimedes and

came back to her spot to read. Archimedes joined her shortly after, placing his soggy head on

a nearby log and flopping into the warm sand to dry off in the sun.

She always enjoyed the fact that she felt invisible on this beach as the gaggles of

mostly gay men who frequented this stretch of secluded sand were more interested in

checking out other men or watching the countless dogs playing in the current. She thought to

herself how peculiar it was that she felt safer in this place with no clothes on surrounded

predominantly by men than she did walking the streets of her own neighborhood dressed

from head to toe.

Looking up from her copy of The Adventures of Harley Quin and Poison Ivy she

realized her pet wasn’t in his usual spot, he wasn’t by the water or by the giant boulders

chasing water monitors. She looked along the beach and spotted him a few dozen meters

down the beach. This wasn’t normal behaviour for Archimedes, she thought to herself. He
was usually quite apprehensive about moving too far from her or Marcus’ side. She let out a

short, sharp whistle that shocked the couple next to her. Apologizing hastily she took off after

the massive creature. After a few steps she realized he was jumping on one of the sun bathers.

“Middy! Down! It’s okay, he’s friendly” she called out to his unsuspecting prey. At that point

the young man Archimedes was harassing turned around, unveiling more than just his

exposed privates.

“Felicity? What . . . What are you doing here?” he sputtered.

“Marcus!” she exclaimed.

A few moments of stunned silence passed between the two siblings as they seemed to

see each other for the first time. Archimedes broke the tension as his head snapped to the

nearby greenery and let out a low growl. His snarling stopped as a large foot appeared in the

sand from the darkness followed by a tall man. His hair was blonde and tied up in a loose bun

and he was wearing nothing but a pair of sandals and sunglasses.

“I told you to wait for me babe, I lost my other shoe” the stranger murmured to

Marcus as he took his hand in his own. The touch was short-lived though as Marcus’ hand

quickly slipped from the unexpected, warm grasp. A brief hint of a frown appeared on the

blonde man’s face which was replaced by a smile as he realized they weren’t alone.

Marcus’ gaze flicked rapidly from his partner to Felicity. Before she could say

anything, Marcus took the strange man’s hand in his own and took off along the pale-yellow

strip of sand.

“Flick, let me tell mum.”

Reflection Statement:

Starting with a character profile that we developed in class inspired by a photograph of a

person and a series of questions used to prompt a discussion about the life of our character, I

focused in on a few hours in the life of that character. After I had developed an initial

narrative based on my character profile I went through and used the Reflection Action

Interaction Description (RAID) technique introduced to us in lectures and discussed in

tutorials to enhance the depth of my primary character. After utilizing RAID I decided that

the description of my primary and secondary characters was not necessary to the plot of my

story. I also used RAID to generate interaction between my characters through dialogue to

improve the dramatic quality of the narrative. As discussed by Burroway (2011) dialogue

gives readers an immediate impression of who a character is through the way they speak. I

utilized this idea with Marcus to highlight his inner turmoil and confusion about his sense of

self “Felicity? What . . . What are you doing here?” he sputtered.”

Burroway (2011) also promotes a character’s actions as a symbol for change “the

quickest and best way to know someone is to see that person make a significant decision…

his significant relationships alter; and he usually must follow a new line of action as a

consequence.” (Burroway, 2011, p. 95). This notion sparked Marcus’ actions at the end of the

story, at first, he recoils from his partner’s touch which makes the reader consider that he is

uncomfortable being perceived as homosexual, he then makes the decision to reach out to his

partner “Marcus took the strange man’s hand in his own” to solidify for the reader that

Marcus has taken a new course in his life. It is here that the story ends as I aimed to leave my

audience wondering how Marcus’ new way of seeing the world will change his relationship

with his family. My decision to remove any other mention of their parents from the narrative

was to give the audience a sense of uncertainty towards their family’s response to Marcus’

secret which parallels with the global experience of “coming out.” Furthermore, I decided to
shift from Felicity owning four pets to one to experiment with the characterisation of a dog,

the goal being to add a third character to the drama who could bring change through action.

The entirety of my narrative leads to the punchline of discovering Marcus’ secret. As

discussed in our fourth lecture I attempted to tie in the annual pride event, “the gaggles of

mostly gay men,” and Archimedes being “usually quite apprehensive about moving too far

from her or Marcus’ side” as a lead up to the punchline. These language choices also meet

syllabus objective B for stage 6 extension English (NESA, 2017) as language choices shape

meaning and express imaginative and creative responses to texts.

As discussed by Atwell (2014) a great way to generate ideas for writing is by

exploring one’s own experiences. When we look inwards into our lives we are able to

compose stories based on what we care about most. This is where I drew some of the

inspiration for my short story Exposure. The setting of the beach with “schools of tiny fish

that ventured too close to the shore” and the “giant boulders/water monitors” is a fictionalized

rendition of one of the beaches I frequently attend, in this account is has become a nudist

beach. Even Felicity’s act of reading on the beach is based on my own enjoyment of the

same. Similarly, I decided to put my female protagonist in the setting of a gay nudist beach to

highlight contemporary discussions around female objectification. This idea was stimulated

by a trailer for a documentary titled Is Australia Sexist? (2018) in which a young woman’s

social experiment denotes the realities of catcalling women experience on a daily basis. I

juxtaposed this reality with a situation in which the men have no interest in my female

protagonist and their gazes “were more interested in checking out other men or watching the

countless dogs playing in the current.”

I also chose to illustrate the account of a young man revealing to his sister that he is

homosexual through the secondary character, Marcus. This is also reflected in the title of the

piece “Exposure” which is a pun on the setting of a nudist beach and Marcus’ sexual
orientation being unveiled. The setting was originally a beach in Miami though I decided an

unnamed beach would add to the universality of my character’s experiences as minorities.

Drawing on my experience of articulating my sexual orientation to my own family, I decided

to reproduce this in the narrative of two siblings who are both exposed to one another in some

way and struggle to find the words to express what they feel. This is also an example of how

stage 6 extension English students can “express understanding of how cultural, historical and

social contexts are represented in critical and creative texts.” (NESA, 2017).

In my writing process I decided to shift from a first-person to third-person narrative. I

discovered once I had introduced other characters to the piece that it became difficult to write

about each character with equal amounts of importance. In particular, it became difficult to

frame Marcus to evoke feelings of empathy when writing from the perspective of his sister,

this was framing her as the more important figure in the text. As discussed in class, the

omniscient third-person narrator allowed me to explore the thoughts and feelings of all my

characters equally, “She thought to herself how peculiar it was that she felt safer in this

place...” I experimented with an objective narrator although I decided omniscience was

important in developing the personas of my characters. In class we also discussed how short

stories usually have no more than two or three characters, while my story has four characters

in total, Marcus’ partner and Archimedes are not completely well rounded and exist solely for

the purpose of driving the dramatic action between Felicity and Marcus. Lastly, I elected to

actively implement the feedback that my peers gave to me in tutorials and adopted concepts

that were discussed by my peers to inspire my short story. For example my initial response to

creative writing is to write an account of my own experiences like a biography or memoir

while others decided to write completely fictional stories, this encouraged me to explore the

possibilities of fiction based on my life experiences such as a coming out story different to

my own.
 References

https://educationstandards.nsw.edu.au/wps/portal/nesa/11-12/stage-6-learning-areas/stage-6-

english/english-extension-2017

https://www.sbs.com.au/ondemand/video/1358770755602

Lecture 1-4

Atwell, N. (2014). In the middle: A lifetime of learning about writing, reading, and

adolescents. Portsmouth, United States: Heinemann USA.