Jessica Luna

Literacy Narrative Draft 1

Brainstorming
Uncertainty and self doubt —> freshman year class surrounded by upperclassmen; difficult to
learn the proper grammar of my language —> sophomore year; native Spanish speaker, gave
me hope and influenced me to do better —> felt illegitimate when someone asked “do you
speak Spanish?” And i couldnt help them —> disappointed in course —> proud ; seal of
Biliteracy
● AP SPANISH
● Language is a part of my culture
● Upon arriving at my new highschool being surrounded by mostly whites, i felt inferior
○ Being a person of color, i felt singled out and unwelcome, i did not want to stand
out
○ During lunch, At times I felt that I didnt even want to speak Spanish when i was
with my friends for fear that we would be judged by the rest of the students
● felt illegitimate when someone asked “do you speak Spanish?” And i couldnt help them
Language is attached to culture and inherently identity

For the first 9 years of my schooling, I was mostly surrounded by Latinos. For high school
though, I attended a predominantly white high school where almost all of the teachers (including
the foreign language teachers), were white. For the entirety of the four years there, I felt out of
place; I was a first generation student of color born from immigrant parents. According to
classist America, I was on the bottom of the rungs among rich white students. I excelled in
classes, but I still felt inferior because of my identity; I felt like an impostor. The one place where
I felt comfortable was in my Spanish classes. During my Junior year, I was excited to take AP
Spanish Language because I wanted to read and analyze texts in Spanish. I was proud of
myself because I was taking the most advanced course. However, It did not take long for me to
be disappointed in the class. My teacher (who was white), was not as capable as the rest of the
girls in my class when it came to speaking Spanish, and as a fluent speaker, it felt like a
mockery. It was the biggest irony to me that the white teacher was teaching fluent Latinos how
to read a Spanish text (along with its culture). Every time I had to go to the class, I felt upset and
even frustrated because the teacher never went deeper into the texts as she could have. She
glossed over the cultural significance of the texts we read. It also upset me that the majority of
the AP Spanish Language texts focused on Spanish texts (from Spain). Very few texts were
from Latin America, and this small fact made me feel like an impostor among my own language.
It felt like it wasn’t even mine; and that Hispanics or Latinos or Chicanos or Mexicans like me did
not belong. I was reminded of these experiences when i read, “The US, a country where
students in high schools and colleges are encouraged to take French classes because French
is considered more “cultured” (pg. 81). Unfortunately, even within a Spanish class, the
curriculum has been designed to wash over the cultural aspects of a language. Teachers focus
more on the culture of Spain, thus minimizing the diverse cultures of all of Latin America. It is
important to note that the majority of foreign language classes taught in American schools stem
from Europe. Although Mandarin is one of the most popular languages in the world, few
American schools teach it. Education is only one part of the destructive machine that is
colonialism.

For the majority of my life, I have struggled with my Chicana identity. I wanted to claim I am
“Mexican”, but I was born on American soil, and it felt wrong to pretend to be someone I wasn’t.
Many children born of immigrant parents experience impostor syndrome. They feel they are a
part of both their parents’ and home country’s culture, and yet a part of neither. This
phenomenon occurs when two parts of one’s identity contradicts with the other. For Chicanos,
“On one side of us, we are constantly exposed to the Spanish of the Mexicans, on the other side
we hear the Anglos’ incessant clamoring so that we forget our language” (pg. 84). As Chicanos
strive to deepen their understanding and relationship with their ancestor’s culture, they are
berated and illegitamized by the Americans. This struggle with identity that the author highlights
is futile as it can please neither side. This internal power struggle is dangerous since paying too
much attention to one side can result in cultural loss. The cost of losing knowledge of the
oppressed culture (Mexican) is much greater than losing knowledge of the oppressing culture
(American). However, fully embracing Mexican culture results in consequences for the individual
as they are seen as an outcast in American society. The only option for Chicanos then is to
accept their linguistic and cultural duality.

“Deslenguadas. Somos los del espanol deficiente...linguistic mestizaje...somos huérfanos—we

speak an orphan tongue” (pg 80)
In Spanish class, we learn “proper” Spanish, that being Castellano Spanish. However, Spain is
not the only country that speaks Spanish, in fact, most of Latin America speaks Spanish. So
why don’t we ever learn Latin American Spanish in American classrooms? In the classrooms,
native Spanish speakers are told they need to learn grammar, as if their language was not
“correct” or “proper”. In this, the school, and our own education, is letting us know that our
Mestizo and Latinamerican tongue is deficient; it needs to be fixed. Highschool Spanish
teachers spend so much time focusing on “proper” Castellano Spanish that they push aside
Latinamerican Spanish. When they push aside our own language, our culture is cast aside as
well. You cannot tell a native Spanish speaker “that word does not exist in the Spanish
language, it's not the correct term”. It immediately invalidates themselves, their and their culture,
along with any conversations they’ve had while using that word. Because that politically
incorrect word is used constantly among a whole Spanish-speaking community, and to them it
has meaning.
“So if you want to really hurt me, talk badly about my language. Ethnic identity is twin skin to
linguistic identity — I am my language. Until I can take pride in my language, I cannot take pride
in myself” (page 81).
At times in my highschool, I would occasionally overhear someone talking about their Spanish
class and how they hated learning Spanish. They thought it was so hard and pointless. At times
I wanted to turn around and confront them, as I felt my face getting hot in frustration. But I knew
they would just look at me crazy because they did not know the struggle or pride in having
language duality.

Write a literacy narrative that draws on your experiences with reading and writing, identifying
how these experiences have contributed to how you see yourself negotiating the different ways
that people think about language.

Specific instances when you made conscious decisions about language that either achieved a
desired outcome or perhaps when your choice of language led to an unexpected response from
someone who thought differently about language than you. Using quotes from the course
readings, you will incorporate quotes that support, refute or complicate your point and
experience with language and demonstrating literacy.

Required Texts: “How to Tame a Wild Tongue” Gloria Anzaldúa, “Ch. 6" Michelle Obama's
Becoming,

A central claim/thesis about yourself as a reader/writer and how it reveals an aspect of your
educated identity
Clear scenes with detailed description and point about this scene
Engagement with quotes from Anzaldua, Obama, or Tan
Insightful, complex analysis about how and why this experience impacted your identity as a
reader, writer and educated person