Professional Documents
Culture Documents
By Gianluca Barci
NEUROLINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING
Course in 32 Lessons
ISBN 978-0-9793997-1-8
. Have you ever desire to mostly know yourselves and your potentialities?
Here starts our trip in the Communication, in the NLP and in the new subjects. This book is
conceived as a series of lessons that will allow you to approach more and more to
this new world.
This course wants to drive you to know new techniques to improve yourselves and your
communication.
Good read!
This guide has the objective to make you know a knowledge that will be able to
accompany you forever , a personal experience to strengthen the body and the
mind.
Each of us deserves the best; and it is important that we make some choices in such
sense. The extraordinary thing is that we can choose among to live really or simply
to exist letting us bring from the events.
The disciplines introduced here were born for helping you to become you the person that
you would have wanted to be, to reach your results, and to understand the more
depth yours yourselves!
We will begin with the NLP, a discipline that helps to model the excellence, but in the
course we will also mention to:
∙ The NLP3, an evolution containing various new paradigms that widens the NLP model
and it makes effortless the learning of it.
"The difficulties are the fire that form our character" (Anthony Robbins)
The preceding sentence it is able to mean that every time we are forehead to a
problem, we can individualize the most effective strategy to face the situation.
Those that before we called "difficulties" now become opportunities to model us,
improve us, an invitation to act!
In every moment of difficulty let's set us therefore the question: how this moment
could help me to mostly grow?
This question is the road to begin to use new ways of attitude and to learn to
interact better with our emotions.
How much are we masters of our thinking?
A lot of people are imprisoned by their own brain as if they were chained to the last
seat of the "Bus", with somebody else to the steering wheel. But who is this somebody
else? They are our reactions and unconscious programs. We must drive our "personal Bus
". These lessons want to help to give you some indications. If we don't give some
indication we take the hazard that the bus or will travel at random alone or other people
will find the way to direct it.
The NLP and the other disciplines from us introduced (as the NLP is only the first
gateway for a true evolution of our way to be) they are an unique opportunity to learn to
use the brain in a functional way , because the neurolinguistic planning is not anything else
than an educational trial, while the other disciplines can open the tract to the contact with
that we realize to be a "natural state."
Another interesting metaphor is the following: imagine that our brain is a car to
which miss an interrupter with the position of power off. If we don’t order something to do it
will continue to turn and turn and in the end it will be annoyed!!!!!
How many of you are obsessed from some thought or situations that you would
resolve?
Tell yourselves: "I would succeed in sending it away from the head." Reflect on the
extraordinary capacity that you have had in putting it! Our point of view is that our brain is
something phenomenal, it succeeds in making stupefacient things and the thick problem is
that it cannot learn but it learns well and too much in hurry. For example a single
traumatic event risks to condition us for years; in other words a single experience can
leave an indelible trace.
But in reality we are all able to go over and to be free from these automatic
conditionings: our capacities can be educated to go toward a state that causes us
satisfactions.
The disciplines on which this course is based are the result of the most recent
searches on the human mind, and they can bring you profits elements to go beyond the
actual moment...
"The problem is not the problem but the way in which we compare to it!"
When that «special agreement» establishes between two person, the one will be
unconsciously and easily brought to answer in a positive way to the stimulus of the other.
Through the reflection we postpone to the interlocutor, with our attitude, the same
behaviour that belongs to his model of the world.
It becomes one the mirror of the other, for instance: the legs crossed during a
conversation; the fingers of the hands woven among themselves, until to reach the tone of
voice and the breathing that is one of the powerful reflection, thinking about the infant that
falls asleep through the arms of the mother because her breath reassure him is enough.
All of this will be perceived by the unconscious of our interlocutor as similarity, affinity. It is
extraordinary as the "walls of coldness" can be dejected if it is learned to listen, to observe
and to feel the other.
To mirror means to enter in tuning with respect and gracefulness without falling in
the intrusiveness or to bother.
This technique has the advantage to create rapport, without necessarily knowing
the lived of the individual nor to share it. The mastery of this ability will be able, for
example, to positively engrave on a clinical interview, on a scholastic interrogation, a sale
or a simple discussion.
Some examples of elements to be mirrored are:
The posture: rigid or relaxed? The body is in before or in behind? How the
hands, the arms and the legs are positioned?
Movements: What is the gesture? How does he hold the hands? How does he
move the head? ( for instance: does he nod while he is speaking?)
The way of speak: low or ringing tone? What rhythm of voice does he have? Slang.
What velocity has?
In the case is wanted to establish a long-term rapport it will need to individualize the
important things for a person or rather his values.
It is important to remember a thing: avoid to face discussion that can bring
divergences of estimations before having established a good rapport, otherwise the
breakdown of the rapport will be foregone. An other important thing is that, in the moment
in which the conversation takes over, and therefore the oral communication, needs to
eliminate the adverse words or better said negations, because we risk to send the contrary
message to that we would(see also the explanation in the communication of rapport
paragraph). This both if with a usual conversation that during sessions of therapy.
~Example of sentence to be avoided: “I don't want to lose you!” In fact our brain will
decode the message as "I want to lose you!”
~Once established the rapport with the CNV it is necessary to be careful about our
language that normally is a lot confusional, so that to refine it and make it congruent to
what we want to pass on.
~A following level also consists in trying to understand what is the most proper
interior change that can help us to maintain the rapport. In fact, to a knowledge of the
exterior signals it is essential adding a full information of the own inside reality, to made
the acquisition easier.
Lesson 4 - OBSERVE
If I want to effectively communicate I first have to understand what is the map of the
reality that belongs to my interlocutor:
Gesticulation
Wide movements and distant from the body (centrifugal gesticulation) and usually
turned upward.
The person can touch the eyes saying sentences like “I have noticed your
disappointment” or rub the eyes and the back of the nose pronouncing sentences as “do
me some to see”.
Ocular movements
The eyes move upward.
If they are moving toward left, the person is displaying a known image or an
experience lived in the past (visual remembered). If they are moving toward right, is
building a mental image (visual built).
Type of breathing
Tall (thoracic) and few deep, of breast. Brief standstills.
Gesticulation
Horizontal arms movements. Position "of the telephone" (head tilted on a side).
Sometimes is possible a circular movement of the finger inside the ear, to drum or to
nibble the fingers, to crack ones tongue, to hum or to whistle.
To doll up the chin or bring the hands in contact with the area of the mouth, of the
nose and of the jaws points out a in-house dialogue.
Ocular movements
Horizontally on the left it means that the person is "listening" remembered sounds.
Horizontally to the right is listening the created ones, is thinking about the things and how
to say them . To the left in low, the person is talking to the self, is carrying forward an
internal dialogue.
Type of breathing
Uniform breathing to abdominal level or with the whole chest. The expiration some
prolonged indicates interior dialogue.
Lesson 7 – KINESTETHIC SYSTEM
The kinestethic system is related to the emotions. The analysis of this system
completes the analysis of the different sensory types.
Gesticulation
Centripetal and abridged.
Palms turned upward. Folded up and relaxed arms. The hands have the tendency
to stand on the median plan of the body.
Ocular movements
To the right in low
Type of breathing
Deep and flood, slow, with the low part of the stomach.
1st day
Stop with three different person with which you have a dialogue of at least five
minutes and observe the movement of the hands and the arms, individualizing the different
gestures and reporting them time after time to the visual sphere, auditory or kinestethic.
Try to understand what is the most used sensory channel .
2nd day
Observe the general posture of three different person: which draws it reveals? Then
observe the gestures of the hands. What kind of relationship is between this last and the
posture?
3rd day
Object of attention can be the voice: what velocity does it have? How is its timbre?
and its volume? Does the person make manifold recesses?
Here are some useful and specifications about the voice:
VOLUME: degree of elevation of voice or the sound: from low to very strong
TIMBRE: quality of the sound that allows to distinguish identical sounds sent from
different sources(ex. masculine or female voice; metallic timbre, unpleasant, sweet.)
RHYTHM: from fluid to very non-constant
SPEED': quantity of issued phonemes in a base of time: from extremely rapid to
slow.
4th day
The ocular movements. Observe the movements of the eyes upward, to right and to
left and every time they are noticed they are identified as visual loggings. Can notice that
the employ of these movements, just like the duration, they vary a lot from person to
person. The ocular movements can be spontaneous or provoked by questions.
5th day
Same exercise of the previous day. However we will notice the horizontal
movements identifying them as auditory loggings.
6th day
Same thing, this time with the movements downhill that must be linked to
kinestethic feelings or to internal dialogue.
Therefore the practice will continue putting together all these components and
learning to nimbly individualize the sensory channels used by the interlocutors.
Then it will be possible pass to analyze the choices of the language, that they also
reflect the availment of different systems representational.
But this is the subject of the next lesson.
Lesson 9 - PREDICATES
Our crop of information on the world, our contact with the realty, as we have seen, it
passes through the five senses: sight, heard, touch, taste, olfaction.
The language adheres and expresses this world experience of ours. When we
speak we unconsciously choose some words that point out what are the available parties
of the world, both internal and external, to which we can enter in that specific moment.
The predicates are the whole nouns, verbs, adjectives and adverbs during which
the person mirrors to the outside the representational system used.
Here is a list of possible examples. Terms and expressions tied up to the gustatory
and olfactory channel can be brought to the kinestethic sphere.
VISUAL CHANNEL
Verbs: to see, to imagine, to appear, to disappear, to seem, to illuminate, to colour,
to blush, to whiten, to glimpse, to perceive, to ogle, to hide, to display, to light up, to focus,
to admire, to scrutinize, to look, to clarify, to eclipse.
Nouns: sight, vision, view, panorama, eye, glance, look, light, luminosity, obscurity,
dark, colour, focusing, dyed, tone, apparition, image, figure, aspect, imagination,
impression, appearance, shine, perspective, flash, imagination.
Adjectives: bright, dark, clear, bright, shining, opaque, coloured, shaded, shady,
seen, disappeared, admired, admirable, observed, pale, candid, ruled, embellished,
shaped, transparent, clear, gilded, dark, shining, rosy, unimaginable.
Adverbs and adverbial locutions: clearly, apparently, obscurely, brightly, clearly,
evidently, visibly, clearly, candidly, to eye, at first sight.
Expressions: To see everything pink, having a point of view, without shade of
doubt, a nearsighted approach, a nebulous project, to see equally, to put to fire, to be of
black humour, to give a glance, to put black on white, to conduct a grey lifetime to combine
of it of all the colours.
AUDITIORY CHANNEL
Verbs: to feel, to listen, to hear, to whisper, to speak, to howl, to chat, to hum, to
whisper, creak, to gossip, to ask, to ask, to answer, to reply, to poll, to tell, to narrate, to
play, to amplify, to eavesdrop, to divulge, to confide, to report.
Nouns: hearing, dialogue, listening, ear, sound, bruit, word, talked, music, melody,
song, question, responded, babbling, buzz, shout, reporter, rhombus, reproach, cry,
stroke, whisper, blarneyed, silence, song, rhythm, tonality, memorial, echo.
Adjectives:, repeated, said, asserted, asked, rhythmic, scanned, speaking,
melodious, harmonic, discordant, false, silent, noisy, harmonious, dissonant, amplified.
Adverbs and adverbial locutions: musically, orally, to words, to ear, silently,
noisily.
Expressions: to put the flea in the ear, to make merchant ears, to have voice in
chapter, to race voice, to appeal to, keyword, to lend ear to be on the same line of wave.
KINESTETHIC CHANNEL
Verbs: to touch, to feel, to scratch, to grab, to stroke, to manipulate, to do, to forge,
to mould, to use, to mix, to sting, to press, to smooth, to model, to tickle, to press, to bump,
to move, to tighten, to heat.
Nouns: concreteness, taken, touch, manipulation, corner stresses, roughness,
softness, softness, heaviness, shiver, heat, cold, cold, skin, hand, thickness, subject,
weight.
Adjectives: concrete, soft, often, rough, warm, cold, heavy, light, smooth, velvety,
hard, winding, remixed, mixed, kissed, sticky, fresh, smoothed, crinkled, hardened, cooled,
heated, palpable.
Adverbs and adverbial locutions: concretely, warmly, icily, coldly, imperceptibly,
harshly, softly, roughly, tenderly, heavily, slightly,
Expressions: to touch with hand, to put on in contact, having the goose flesh, to
have a weight on the stomach, having the feet for earth, to have touch, having the rough
opportunities, to make the hard one grab the concept.
GUSTATORY CHANNEL
Verbs: to embitter, to sweeten, to flavour, to taste, to season, to taste, to eat, to
embitter, to fast, quenching, to satiate, to foretaste, to make acid, salivary, to pick...
Nouns: sourness, sweetness, taste, scent, delicacy, acidity, sugary, taste,
bitterness, language, palate, saliva, saliva, appetite, satiety
Adjectives: sweet, bitter, sour, salty, bitter, acid, nauseating, sickening, sweetish,
desirable, disgusting, nauseating, creamy, spicy, savoury, appetizing, dainty, fizzy, insipid,
rancid, juicy, desirable, sweetened.
Adverbs: softly, bitterly, tastily, bitterly, tastily.
Expressions: jokes of bad taste, to remain to dry mouth, to have the poisoned
tooth, to be of good mouth, not to have hair on the language, a salty account.
~
OLFACTORY CHANNEL
Verbs: to smell, to sniff, to perfume, to stink, to smell, to smell, to aromatize.
Nouns: nose, smell, odour, perfume, fragrance, sign, exhalations.
Adjectives: perfumed, acrid, intoxicating, fragrant, fragrant, speziato, malodorous,
aromatic, sweet, vanilla, balmy.
Adverbs and adverbial locutions: fragrantly , to nose, softly, to smell, fragrantly.
Expressions: having the smell under the nose, to have good nose, to climb the fly
on the nose, to judge to nose, to have smell, stink the trick.
Lesson 10-- The movements of the hands
Tell me how you move the hands… and I will tell you who are you
Observing the way in which people gesticulate with their own hands allows to
understand a lot of their character, of their placing way and about the modalities followed
in their communicative behaviour.
Three typologies can be individualized, everyone connected to a well determined
sensory channel.
Indicatory modality
Who uses the visual as primary channel uses an indicatory modality. The gestures
of the hand will extend therefore to "indicate", so: aimed index or sharp hand.
This person has the tendency to furnish accurate instructions having a tone of voice
that seems to accuse the others. It often has the propensity to touch his interlocutor with
the point of the finger. To linguistic level he will utilize <<general quantifier>> : all, every,
any, every time. In his answers he often use "no."
Propitiatory modality
The kinestethic person (potentially or in a particular moment) propitiatory, he lives
and expresses his emotionality, looks for a physical contact with the interlocutor, curtains
he often begins with a "yes" and uses a lot of terms as "if, only, just, even."
Also in this case we have two subtypes: the re-comforting-emphatic that unhide
great interest to the emotionality of the other and on that he is inclined to model himself,
adjusting himself to the sentiments and sensations of the other. Typical of this modality is
to hold the hands in triangle.
In comparison to the emphatic, the second subtype, the expressive, has more wide
gestures and holds the palm of the hand opened and turned upward. Its voice is usually
expressive, he expresses his own emotionality in involving way, trying to transfer it on the
other.
Lesson 11- REFLEX, TRACING AND GUIDE
The notions exposed until here represent the base of the NLP.
Learning to observe, as already been said, is the first footstep, necessary to be able
to effectively communicate in the future, anything you intend for communicating: to
convince, to be understood, to make to purchase, to share, to clarify, to express, to
establish a good relationship, having a good impression.
When I know what is the mainly channel my interlocutor uses, what is his model of
reality, then I will modify my way to express to meet him on the same ground: if my
interlocutor mirrors the parameters that we have identified as visual, I will try to
accommodate my language using predicates tied up to the visual field.
Doing this I put myself in tuning with that person, I create rapport, to use one of the
fundamental term of the NLP. Through the rapport I establish a conscious unconscious
affinity with the other.
Such process is called reflex and it can use as much the verbal yardsticks as
those not verbal: as much we mirror the verbal and not verbal behaviour of a person as
we mirror his experience, we send him a whole series of messages in which he can
recognize us.
Beyond the spoken channels there are therefore those not records: the posture, the
gesticulation , the voice, the breath, the micro-movements of the face.
It is not essential to mirror all the yardsticks, two of it or three are enough but it is a
must doing it in the opening moments of a meeting or an interview, because once
established, the rapport is apt to sustain. Rather, if played well, the other person will follow
our gestures, in the posture or in the other parameters: in this case we assume a position
of guide.
How do I realize the reflex in the concrete? It tells you the same word: it is required
to behave as if we were the image of the other one reflected in a mirror: if he holds the
bent shoulders bend the shoulders you too; if he lifts the right arm, lift the left; if he
crosses the legs, follow his gesture.
Naturally it needs to be careful not to monkey the other: you can wait that he ends
the discussion and then, when it is begun to speak , move in his same posture; you can
mirror his movements in a withheld way; you can finally apply a very elegant mean: the
cross synchronization.
If the interlocutor has the legs crossed I can cross the arms, and vice versa; if he
moves the head I can follow his movement with small (but synchronized) motions of the
hand.
Different but equally effective is the tracing: in this case if the other one lifts the
right arm, I will lift my right too (not more in speculate way) arm; in this case I am not able
to understand the internal state of the interlocutor.
Once established the correct tuning, the rapport, I will be able to guide the other
person in my world and, as I have shown to accept his, he will be inclined to accept the
mine, consciously or unconsciously. If there is not rapport the communication has a little
chance to result effective.
The best way to do proper these concepts is to put them into practice.
For instance try to observe the breathing of a person, therefore trace him (same
height, same frequency, same profundity); once done try to modify and notice if the other
modifies too. The tracing of the breathing is one of the most powerful means to create
rapport.
Another good operation is to observe other people: engaged, friends and in general
people that entertain a positive relationship will have the tendency to reflect each other to
create rapport in natural and spontaneous way.
Lesson 12– Signs of Not Verbal Communication
The marks that manifest attention, interest, pleasure
Once established the rapport I can go to communicate what it interests me. But in
which way can I understand, after having created this tuning, if I am proceeding in correct
way? An effective communication should arouse at first attention, then interest, therefore
pleasure.
I understand if I am getting these gateways if I guide my interlocutor and therefore
this one mirrors me in the oral and not attitude.
But there are specific unconscious gestures that can reveal me a lot to this
intention. Naturally all of these gestures are signs that must be appraised with some
prudence, considering them not singly and watching out for the person and the context
that I have of forehead.
Meanwhile we can say that to each of these levels is linked a part of the face.
The attention it can express itself to the height of the eyes (visual attention) or to
the ears (for example to hand the ear).
The interest is tied up to the sense of olfaction , therefore to the nose.
The pleasure is mostly united to the taste, therefore in the area of the mouth, to the
lips, the tongue. Often also in the verbal language, the pleasure is expressed with terms
that make reference to the sphere of taste.
It is necessary to highlight a difference among right part and the left one of the
body: the first one points out the self; the second one indicates the outdoor environment.
Certainly not only the face, but the whole body manifests the interior thoughts of the
person.
Here is a list of possible signs:
The eyes
Scratching or massaging the left eye or the angles means that the person has not
understood well the treated matter because who spoke has been a little clear. Instead if he
scratches or massages the right one, he doesn't understand the theme of the discourse for
motives that are tied up to himself.
To rub with the fingers the point of the nose indicates refusal. Scratch or massage
the right side of the nose expresses consequential insecurity from self; the consequential
insecurity from the outdoor environment is tied to the left side of the nose instead. Simply
touch the point of the nose manifests interest.
The necklace
To play with the necklace manifests a lack of the type sexual-affective, intense
message if the person sucks and/or "nibbles" the pendant of the same necklace.
The feet
The point of the left foot raising (with earth heel) points out that the interlocutor
prefers to listen. Same gesture with the right one means will to take the word. The right
foot aimed toward a person expresses interest for that. If the foot is not aimed toward
anybody or is aimed toward the gate of the room, the subject very probably has a big
birthmark to leave.
The bust
Bust and body in before they manifest interest for the treated argument. The body moved
back instead is a way to take the distances from the argument or from the person.